


For a Pacifist I'm Pretty Antagonistic

by Werewolfnightwalker



Series: Giveaway prizes [3]
Category: Homestuck, Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet Ending, Blood and Violence, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Dave gets the ever loving shit beaten out of him, Determination (Undertale), Flowey (Undertale) Redemption, Flowey Is A Dick, Happy Ending, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Homestuck AU, Karkat also got the ever loving shit beaten out of him, Like several times, Lots of spiders - Freeform, Meowrails, Mettaton gets meta, Multi, Sexy Robots, Spiders, Undertale AU, World blending, dave is good at talking, death isnt permanent, gamkar - Freeform, graphic tag was added but its not that graphic, implied mettaton/hal, like holy fuck why are there so many spiders, original lore, pale aratav, puns, rosemary, should i add the death tag??, the boys go through some shit, world building
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-03
Updated: 2020-07-25
Packaged: 2020-10-06 01:56:04
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 60
Words: 191,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20498987
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Werewolfnightwalker/pseuds/Werewolfnightwalker
Summary: "This fanfiction you found is dynamite!! Though I don't make an appearance in it until three-fourths in. But I like that! Appearing from the heavens like manna, slaking the audience's hunger for gorgeous robots... Ooh! That's Mettaton!" -MTT.1st place prize for my giveaway. Dave and Karkat go through the underground, bringing new lore, adventures, and world blending with them.





	1. Chapter 1

Long ago, two races ruled over Earth C: Humans and Monsters.  
One day, war broke out between the two races.  
After a long battle, the humans were victorious.  
They sealed the monsters underground with a magic spell.  
The humans then faded into history.  
Many years later...

"Hey, Karkles."

Karkat sighed heavily as he felt the Strider's arm fall across his shoulders. He'd been sitting in his room, alone until that very moment, reading over an eye-bleedingly boring message from Sollux about the system hardware he was attempting to install in the mainframe and blah blah blah. His eyes had glazed over after two sentences and he'd been staring at the same line for the past several minutes, his cheek in his palm.

"I'm busy, Dave." He said shortly.

"Clearly." Dave leaned over his shoulder to look at the screen, but even he was quickly bored by what he was reading. He glanced down at Karkat, who rubbed his eyes and looked up at him. Dave wasn't wearing his shades; after having been living on Earth C for nearly a year, he'd finally taken them off and put them on a shelf in his closet. It still caught Karkat off-guard sometimes, to look up and see those ruby irises blinking at him. Dave and Karkat shared a small, two story hive together, having moved in together once the game ended. They'd been dating for nearly three years by now, it felt natural at this point.

"What do you want?" Karkat asked finally.

"I want to show you something. It's cool, trust me." Karkat sighed again, shrugging the other's arm off his shoulders.

"Cool for you, or cool for me?" He asked, stretching his arms over his head and hearing his shoulders pop.

"Both, man, come on." Dave insisted, shifting from foot to foot. Karkat's teeth worried at his lip as he regarded his matesprit with mild amusement.

"Fine." He relented, pushing away from his desk and standing up. Dave grinned, pleased, and grabbed his hand. Karkat allowed the human to drag him outside, into their backyard, where Dave let go of his hand and turned to face him. Karkat crossed his arms, waiting.

"Okay, check it, I figured out a new trick." He explained, looking nearly giddy.

He made a rectangle with his fingers, much like Jade would before using her Space powers. His brows furrowed as he concentrated. Red, crackling energy surrounded his hands, the sound of ticking filling the air. In the space between his fingers, the gear that represented his powers appeared, spinning steadily. Dave began pulling his fingers apart, and the gear expanded with his hands; intrigued, Karkat moved a little closer. At the center of the gear, a white light suddenly appeared. It rapidly grew bigger, until the gear was swallowed by its glow. There was a pause, where the gear seemed to falter, before an image swam to life. It was blurry, like looking through a rainy window, but came into focus as Karkat stared.

The gear was bigger than Dave's torso at that point, and the image swelled to match the frame. It was a mountain, he realized. A single mountain, covered in a forest of pines and rocky outcrops.

"Wow." was all the troll could think to say, genuinely impressed by his boyfriend's skill. Dave grinned, dropping his hands and walking around to stand next to Karkat. The gear stayed in place, continuing its steady ticking.

"I know, right? It's called Mount Ebott. Jake told me about it when he came back from one of his explorations the other day. It's like, a month's hike from here, so this," he gestured to the picture, "is from a month ago."

"How'd you figure out how to do this?" Karkat inquired.

"I was helping Jade in her garden yesterday, making some of her stuff grow faster. She did her finger thing," He made the rectangle again, "to grab her trowel from her room, and I copied her. I wanted to see if it would do anything, and I conjured up a picture of her tomatoes in a month. FYI, those sons of bitches get big."

"I don't care about the tomatoes, Dave." Karkat rolled his eyes, before nodding to the gear, "So, can we do anything with it, or do we just look at it?"

"I dunno. I haven't tried anything. Got any ideas?"

Karkat pursed his lips in thought, before he began circling the gear to examine it from all sides. No matter where he stood, it was the same image. He walked back around to the front, contemplating it for another moment, before he jabbed his hand into it. The gear suddenly began glowing and spinning faster, the image turning white. Karkat tried to pull back, alarmed, but his hand was stuck.

"Uh, Dave, I'm-" He started, before he felt something wrap around his hand. It felt like a tentacle, or a vine, he thought. He tried to jerk his hand back out to look, but whatever it was suddenly gave a great heave. With a shout of several choice swears, Karkat was pulled into the light. He heard Dave call his name and felt him grab his other hand. The- whatever it was- tugged again, pulling them both through.

They were surrounded by a light so bright Karkat had to squeeze his eyes shut. Whatever was holding his wrist suddenly released him and he opened his eyes in time to see him and Dave hit the ground. Barking out a pained "_FUCK!_", his chest slammed into the ground and the rest of him crumpled with it. Dave, on the other hand, had time to brace himself. He rolled with the landing, leaping back onto his feet as easy as you please. He looked around in wonder, his face splitting open in a grin as he recognized where they were.

"Dude!" he gasped, spinning in a circle. Karkat only wheezed, the breath knocked out of him. "It worked! We're at the mountain! This is so cool!" He cried. Karkat managed to push himself up onto his knees, gasping for breath.

"Cool?" He repeated, trying not to cough up a lung, "We're stranded, you idiot!" Dave's grin faltered, before he shrugged.

"Nah, I can just take us back." He assured him. Karkat struggled to his feet, looking around.

"Great. Hurry up." He grunted, rubbing his aching ribs. Dave rolled his eyes and made the rectangle again, but nothing happened. He frowned, focusing. The red energy crackled around his fingers for a moment, before it turned blue and dissipated.

"I can't!" He exclaimed, frustrated. He tried again, gritting his teeth, but the same thing happened. "It's not working, there's something, like, cancelling it out or someshit!"

"What? How?" Karkat stepped closer, looking at his hands, "Do it again." Dave sighed, agitated, and repeated the sign; again, the red energy turned blue and disappeared. "Well fuck." Karkat muttered. Dave looked up at him, his shoulders slumping with disappointment.

"I'm sorry, Karkles." Karkat waved the apology away, grimacing.

"Forget it. Let's just find out how to get down, see if we can try it, then." He suggested. Dave nodded, offering him his hand. Karkat smiled faintly and took it. Looking around, Dave took the lead and set off in what he hoped was the direction of their city. They hadn't gone than more than a few yards when Karkat suddenly paused. Dave glanced at him, puzzled.

"You good?"

"Did you see that?" Karkat was looking off into the trees, through the underbrush.

"See what?" He asked as Karkat let go of his hand and strode towards whatever he'd seen, pushing the bushes aside.

"I thought I saw-" he began, before he broke off with a shriek of fear. He suddenly vanished, the bushes trembling from where he'd tried to grab them.

"Karkat!" Dave shouted, startled, and ran to where the troll had just standing, but his boyfriend had disappeared. As he shoved past the shrubs, his feet slid out from under him as the rocks gave way. With a shout, he was suddenly careening towards a large gash in the ground- almost like a narrow chasm. He scrabbled for a purchase on the crumbling rocks, but it was all for naught. In his desperation, he tried to activate his powers. He managed to hold himself up, over the giant crack, before it happened again; he was surrounded by crackling blue energy and his powers were rendered null. He plummeted into darkness, letting out a high-pitched shriek of terror as he frantically tried to get his powers to work again.

All at once, his powers surged back and he managed to halt his decent. He lowered himself, slowly and jarringly, his heart pounding in his ears. He lighted on the ground and looked around, letting out a heavy, distressed breath. He'd landed on a bed of bright yellow flowers, the crack far above letting in just enough sunlight for him to see. As he gazed around, he saw Karkat was standing a short distance away, brushing himself off.

"Karkat! Thank fuck, are you okay?" Dave shouted louder than he meant to, relieved to see his boyfriend was unharmed. Karkat looked up, surprised, as Dave ran up to him.

"I'm fine. The flowers softened my fall." He assured him, looking grateful that Dave was okay, too. He looked up at the crack; it was far, far above their heads, nothing more than a sliver of light now. "Guess we're not getting out that way." He commented, frowning.

Dave wasn't listening; he was busy looking around. He noticed a crumbling archway ahead of them, partially hidden in the shadows. It was definitely man-made, he thought; it was too obvious not to be. It had strange carvings engraved on it to boot.

"Dude, look." He pointed to it, tapping Karkat's shoulder to get his attention. Karkat looked over at the arch, raising an eyebrow.

"Yeah, I saw it earlier. What about it?"

"Let's see where that goes, maybe it'll lead back out." He suggested. Karkat hesitated, glancing up again, before he sighed.

"Okay, fine." He headed for the arch, and Dave followed closely behind; as dark as it was, he didn't want to get separated. Quietly, he uncaptchalogued his sword, just in case; he always kept one on him by now, and its familiar weight was a comfort. There was a weird energy in the air, and he didn't like it. They stepped through the archway and entered into another cavernous area, lit faintly by more cracks in the ceiling.

It seemed empty at first, until they edged inside further. In the center of the room was another of those yellow flowers, sitting in a patch of light; this one, though, had a face. As Dave was still registering that bizarre fact, it blinked at them, smiling cheerily, before it opened its mouth and spoke.

"Howdy! I’m Flowey. Flowey the Flower! Hmmm… You’re new to the Underground, aren'tcha? Golly, you must be so confused. Someone ought to teach you how things work around here! I guess little old me will have to do." Its voice was high and scratchy. Karkat and Dave looked at each other, absolutely bewildered. Karkat stepped forward, pointing to himself.

"Do you mean me? Or him?" He gestured to Dave. Flowey glanced at him, then back to Karkat, looking confused, before he shook his head. His head? Stem? Face? Why was he questioning the anatomy of a talking flower?

"You, of course! You're the human child!" Flowey insisted. Dave couldn't hold back a bark of laughter.

"Wait, what? Dude, no, I'm the human, he's-" He began.

"You're not human! Look at your eyes! I don't know what monster you are, but he's the one that fell in the flowers!" Flowey said firmly. Dave blinked before he glanced at Karkat, who was staring at the flower, dumbfounded. Dave suddenly smirked, shrugging.

"Yeah, okay. He's the human." He agreed, snickering. Karkat snapped his head up to look at him, eyes wide.

"What the fuck? No! I'm-"

"Great! Now, let me show you how it works around here. Ready? Here we go!" Flowey said cheerfully, wriggling his body with excitement. His body? Stem?

A red glow suddenly grew in front of Karkat's chest. The troll stared, eyes wide, letting out a surprised gasp as the light burst forth, taking the shape of a bright red heart.

"What-" He began, his eyes wide with shock.

"See that heart? That is your Soul, the very culmination of your being! Your Soul starts off weak, but can grow strong if you gain a lot of LV. What’s LV stand for? Why LOVE of course! You want LOVE, don't you?" Flowey beamed. Karkat reached out and touched the 'Soul' gently. Just as suddenly as it had appeared, other things popped into existence in front of him. They were glowing option boxes, labeled "Fight", "Act", "Item", and "Mercy". Above them, a short, yellow line appeared, with the number "20/20" beside it. Karkat stared at everything for a moment, getting more confused by the second.

"Dude, it's like a video game." Dave muttered. Karkat glanced back at him, then at the boxes before he nodded slowly, looking at the Soul again; it hovered right in front of his chest, steadily pulsing with a warm red glow.

"You want some LOVE, don't you?" Flowey repeated. Karkat looked over at him, frowning; he had a bad feeling about this.

"I guess?" He answered doubtfully. Flowey grinned and gave a shudder. Behind him, several small, white pellets appeared, each no bigger than a paperclip.

"Don't worry, I'll share some with you! Down here LOVE is shared through... little white "Friendliness Pellets". Move around, get as many as you can!" He explained excitedly, before the pellets suddenly shot towards Karkat. Alarmed, Karkat leaped to the side and they soared past where he'd been standing, disappearing into the air a few feet behind where he'd been. The boxes and heart moved with him, staying in front of him the whole time. Flowey frowned, turning towards him. "Hey, buddy, you missed them! Let's try again, okay?"

More pellets suddenly appeared and shot towards Karkat, faster than before. He didn't have time to move before they struck him.

Dave shouted, alarmed, as the bar that read "20/20" suddenly shot down to "1/20". It was a health bar, he realized with a stab of fear. Karkat bellowed in pain and fell to his knees, blood spraying from several bullet-like wounds in his body. Dave ran to him, dropping to his knee beside him. Karkat was doubled over, clutching his chest and stomach as his bright red blood seeped through his fingers.

"Karkat!" He gasped. He looked up at Flowey, who's face had twisted into a cruel sneer.

"You idiot." Flowey snarled, "In this world, it's KILL or be KILLED! Why would anyone pass up an opportunity like this?!" A ring of bullets suddenly surrounded the two boys as Flowey bellowed, "_**D I E!!!**_"

The pellets rocketed towards the pair of them, circling around them and closing in as the flower laughed maniacally. Dave grabbed Karkat and pulled him close, attempting to protect him with his own body. He raised his sword to defend them, already knowing it was hopeless.

Just as the bullets were close enough to touch, they vanished.

Dave froze and looked around, bewildered. Flowey looked just as confused.

"What-?!" He began, when a glowing, blue flame appeared beside him. He whirled on it, teeth bared, when it flew towards him. It struck him, making him cry out as it consumed him. With a shriek and a pop, he vanished into the ground.

"What the fuck?" Dave whispered.

A tall figure slowly emerged from the shadows, their eyes glowing faintly. Dave tensed and rose halfway into a crouch, his sword at the ready to fend off the newcomer.

As he did so, the blade suddenly disappeared from hand. Startled and confused, he reached for his captchalogue again, but found nothing; it, too, had been robbed from him.

Beside him, Karkat groaned softly, distracting him. Looking down briefly, Dave saw the health bar had been restored to 20/20 and what he could see of the troll's wounds had disappeared; his sweater was even mended! Karkat slowly raised his head, touching his chest uncertainly. He let out a confused half-whine, before he looked up at Dave. He opened his mouth to speak, but fell silent as the figure stepped into the light.

It was a monster, covered in thick white fur, with droopy ears and a small pair of horns, wearing a purple robe.

"What a terrible creature, torturing such a poor, innocent pair of youths." She said softly, looking them over; her voice was sweet, gentle and kind. She approached slowly, trying not to frighten them; Dave realized how they must look- dirty, disheveled, and terrified. "Do not be afraid, children." She crooned gently, like she was speaking to a wounded animal, "I am Toriel, caretaker of the Ruins. I pass through this place everyday to see if anyone has fallen down." She looked at Karkat directly now, "You are the first human to come here in a long time."

"I'm not-" He began, his voice little more than a croak.

"Come!" She continued as if he hadn't spoken, "I will guide you through the catacombs." She turned around, back the way she'd came, "This way." The boys glanced at each other, understandably uncertain. The soul in front of Karkat's chest faded back inside his sweater. He pulled back the collar and looked down, but there was no mark. In front of him, the option boxes faded. "This way!" Toriel called again. Sharing another look, Dave helped Karkat to his feet and they followed.


	2. Chapter 2

Karkat and Dave followed the goat woman, Toriel, through a second archway; this one was much nicer that the first, Dave noted idly. They stepped out into a brightly lit room, both boys stopping to look around.

Within the room, a perfect square of fallen leaves covered the floor. Beyond that, there was a short pair of staircases that curved towards each other, creating a landing, upon which a little doorway stood, between a pair of windows. The walls, strangely, seemed to be made out of brick. It looked like a house, Dave thought. Between the stairs, there was a thick pile of leaves. In front of that pile, however, was a bright, glimmering, golden... thing. Curious, he and Karkat approached. Karkat kicked it lightly, and an option box appeared, with the word, "**Determination**".

"Determination?" Dave repeated aloud, puzzled. Karkat opened his mouth, before the two of them were suddenly surrounded in a golden light.

"What the fuck?"

"That is a Save Point, dear." Toriel explained gently.

"Save Point?" Dave repeated, looking up at her.

Toriel smiled, then continued up the stairs. The boys looked at one another, before they followed after, squeezing through the doorway behind her.

They popped out into another room. This one was much smaller, but a bit more interesting. There were six pressure plates staggered out on the ground to their right. On the far wall, there was a switch next to a heavy door. Toriel turned to face them.

"Welcome to your new home, innocent ones. Allow me to educate you in the operation of the Ruins." She turned and walked onto the nearest plate, before padding over three others. She brushed her robes down and walked over to the switch, flicking it. The door rumbled open and she turned back, beaming. "The Ruins are full of puzzles; ancient fusions between diversions and door keys. One must solve them to move from room to room. Please adjust yourself to the sight of them." She explained. Karkat shook his head.

"Look, thanks for saving us from that flower or whatever, but we can't stay. Can you just point us to the nearest-" He broke off with a yelp of pain; Dave had stamped on his foot, hard, after seeing the crestfallen look on Toriel's face.

"Sorry, he's still having, uh, culture shock. I'm Dave, by the way, and he's Karkat." He told her. She perked back up.

"Such strange names! Oh, not that that's bad, they're rather nice. My apologies, I forgot to ask, didn't I?" She and Dave looked at Karkat, who was shaking out his leg as he cursed under his breath. She chuckled, turning away. "Well, come along." She headed through the door. Karkat waited until she was gone, then rounded on Dave.

"Dude, what the fuck? We can't stay here! I say we go back and wait for the others to find us." He hissed. Dave crossed his arms.

"Look, she's a nice lady. We're _literally_ a month away from home, and she's the only nice person we've seen so far. You want to go back and deal with the flower, be my guest, but I want to see how this plays out. I want to know what the hell is going on; with you, with her, with my powers- Just play along, okay? I'm sure we'll get out of here soon." Karkat opened his mouth like he wanted to protest, then shut it again.

"Fine." He grumbled, shoving his hands in his pockets. He turned and stomped towards the door, and Dave followed him. Before he passed through, however, he noticed a small sign hanging by the door. He paused to read it:

"**Only the fearless may proceed. Brave ones, foolish ones, both walk not the middle road**." It said. He raised an eyebrow.

"We're definitely the foolish ones." he muttered to no one as he passed through the door.

He stepped out into a large, long corridor, where Karkat and Toriel were waiting. Next to them, an underground river flowed by, over which someone had laid a bridge. The walls were covered in thick vines. In a small gap, Dave saw another sign.

"To make progress here, you will need to trigger several switches." Toriel was saying, "Do not worry, I have labeled the ones you need to flip." She turned and walked across the bridge, and Karkat followed. Dave paused to read the other sign:

"**Stay on the path."** it warned.

Startled, Dave backpedaled and caught up to the others. They'd crossed the bridge without him; beyond the small section of ground was a second river, with another bridge. On the wall to their left was a small switch. Someone had taken chalk and scribbled several arrows that pointed to it. Written on the wall were the words "**Please press this switch. -Toriel**". Karkat walked over and flicked it, before glancing back at the monster lady.

"Excellent!" Toriel praised him, before she turned and walked across the second bridge. The boys followed after, sharing amused and somewhat confused looks. On the wall past the second bridge, there were two more switches. One was labeled, the same way the other had been, while the other was bare. Behind Toriel, they saw a dozen sharp, steel spikes jutting out of the ground. Karkat nudged Dave with his shoulder and nodded to the switch.

"Your turn." He said. Dave snorted and walked over to the labeled switch, flicking it upwards. The spikes behind Toriel sunk into the ground with a loud hiss and a thunk.

"Splendid! I am proud of you, little ones." Toriel chirped. Dave turned and grinned at Karkat.

"Hear that? She's proud of us." he repeated smugly. Karkat rolled his eyes, huffing without comment.

Dave shrugged, following the goat woman as she moved on. Karkat followed him close behind, and they stepped out into another small room. On the left side, near the wall, sat a strange looking dummy.

"As a human living in the Underground, monsters may attack you. You will need to be prepared for this situation. However, worry not! The process is simple. When you encounter a monster, you will enter a Fight. While you are in a Fight, strike up a friendly conversation. Stall for time. I will come to resolve the conflict. Practice talking to the dummy." Toriel told Karkat, before she walked over to the door and stood, waiting.

"For the last time, I'm not hu-" Karkat began hotly.

"Karkles. Play along, remember?" Dave frowned. Sighing with exasperation, Karkat stomped towards the dummy. As he approached, his chest began to glow again. When he was squared up in front of it, the heart- his Soul, Flowey had called it- emerged, as did the four boxes.

"This is so stupid." he muttered under his breath, before he touched the box labeled Act. The box widened, now offering two options: Check or Talk. He looked up at Toriel. "Do I have to press Talk, or do I just talk to him?" He asked.

"Press Talk, and it will give you conversation options." She advised. He did so, and a list of simple phrases appeared:

-Hello.  
-How are you?  
-How's the family?  
-Some weather we're having.  
-I just started a really neat book...  
-Have you heard about *insert sports star here*?

Karkat stared, dumbfounded. He looked up at the dummy, who gazed back with black, unblinking, button eyes.

"Hello?" He tried. The dummy, unsurprisingly, said nothing. Toriel, however, clapped her hands with delight. The soul and boxes suddenly disappeared, and Karkat stepped back.

"Ah, very good; you are very good." She announced, before she turned, walking through the next door. Karkat sighed.

"This. Is. Dumb." He muttered. Dave just smiled, stepping up and taking his hand.

"So are you. Come on." He said, and pulled Karkat into the next room.

This room was rather large. The path they'd been following suddenly zigzagged back and forth here.

"There is another puzzle in this room; I wonder if you can solve it?" She wondered, smiling, before she lead them across the swerving trail. As they passed into a narrow section of the room, a small creature suddenly burst out of a gap in the wall.

"What-?" Karkat leaped back, startled. In front of them was a large, slimy frog, easily the size of a cat. It blinked at them stupidly; under its belly, a second pair of eyes watched them.

"Freaky." Dave commented as Karkat's soul appeared. Karkat clicked the Act box, which briefly flashed the name Froggit, before the other options appeared: Check, Compliment, and Threat, it offered. Karkat pressed Check, and the box filled up with information about the Froggit:

_"Froggit- 4 ATK 5 DEF_   
_Life is difficult for this enemy."_

"Aw, poor lil' dude." Dave frowned. As he spoke, Toriel stomped closer. The Froggit looked up at her and croaked, then hopped back into its hole. Karkat's Soul faded.

"He will be fine, David." She assured him, before she walked off again. Karkat looked at his boyfriend, a small smile on his face.

"I think I'm getting the hang of this." He said proudly, before he followed. Dave went to follow, too, when he saw another sign on the wall.

**"The western room is the eastern rooms blueprint"**, it told him.

"That's helpful." he muttered, when he heard Karkat call for him. He quickened his pace and caught up to the other two.

In front of them, a large span of water stretched. Fortunately, there was a small bridge that reached a little island that floated in the middle. Unfortunately, the island was covered in more of the metal spikes. He glanced at Toriel, who blinked at the spikes in dismay.

"This is the puzzle, but... here, take my hand for a moment." She reached out, offering them her furry paws. They each took one, and she started forward. The spikes gave away before her, sliding into the ground, only to pop back up behind the three of them once they were clear. She lead them this way and that, before they were approaching a second bridge. Once they were all safely on said bridge, she glanced back. "Puzzles seem a little too dangerous for now." She said, letting go of their hands and heading for the next room. They obediently followed and saw an insanely long hall; they couldn't even see the other side. "You have done excellently thus far, my children. However... I have a difficult request to ask of you. ...I would like you to walk to the end of the room by yourself. Forgive me for this." She said gently, before she took off running for the other side. She was out of sight in moments, and the boys looked at each other in surprise.

"Well, then... shall we?" Dave suggested, offering his hand again. Karkat took it, rolling his eyes.

"Sure." He agreed.

He seemed more at ease, Dave thought, relieved; he seemed to finally be enjoying himself. Together, hand in hand, they set off across the room.

After they'd been walking for several minutes, they still could not see the end. Finally, _finally_, they saw the scenery around them change.

Next to a doorway, a large, unnatural pillar stood. As Dave watched it, he saw a fuzzy paw retreat into the shadows behind it. She's trying to hide, he thought with amusement. Karkat hadn't seen her, too busy looking around. He took a step forward, ready to walk past the pillar, when Toriel emerged. The troll physically jumped, huffing out a startled breath.

"Greetings, my children. Do not worry, I did not leave you. I was merely behind this pillar the whole time. Thank you for trusting me. However, there was an important reason for this exercise. ... to test your independence. I must attend to some business, and you must stay alone for a while. Please remain here. It's dangerous to explore by yourself." She explained, before her face lit up, "I have an idea. I will give you a cell phone. If you have a need for anything, just call. Be good, alright?" She dug in the pocket of her robes and produced a crummy little flip phone. She passed it to Karkat, then walked out of the room.  
Karkat looked down at the palmhusk, turning it over in his hands.

"How long do you think we should wait?" he asked.

"Should we even wait? I say we go after her." Dave frowned. Karkat opened the phone and pressed the large button in the middle. Much like the boxes that appeared in a Fight, a pair of boxes now appeared above the phone.

The first box had Karkat's information:

**Karkat**   
**LV 1**   
**HP: 20/20**   
**Gold: 0**

Below that, the second box held three options:

_-Item_   
_-Stat_   
_-Cell_

Karkat reached up and pressed 'item', but nothing happened. He clicked Stat, and a larger box appeared:

**Karkat**   
**LV 1**   
**HP 20/20**   
**ATK: 4 EXP: 0**   
**DEF: 1 Next: 10**   
**Weapon: none**   
**Armor: none**   
**Gold: 0**

"Level one?! That's bullshit, I should be like, level one hundred!" Karkat fumed.

"It stands for LOVE, remember? That's what the flower said." Dave reminded him. Karkat grunted, waving away the box as he looked at the Cell option.

"Should we call her?"

"She just left, dude. She's probably waiting in the next room to surprise us. Don't call her bluff, let's just go find her." he suggested.

"She said to wait, though!" Karkat protested.

"And we've waited. Let's go." Dave whined impatiently. Karkat stuck the phone in his pocket.

"Fine. I guess it wouldn't hurt." he sighed. He headed for the next room, and Dave followed. As they stepped into the next area, the phone suddenly trilled loudly. Karkat pulled it out and hit the button, putting it on speaker as Dave stepped closer to listen.

"Hello? This is Toriel. You have not left the room, have you?" Karkat glanced at Dave pointedly before she continued, "There are a few puzzles ahead that I have yet to explain. it would be dangerous to try and solve them yourself. Be good, alright?" The phone clicked; she'd hung up.

"Great." Karkat huffed.

"Lighten up, dude, it's fine." Dave nudged his shoulder against Karkat's before he looked around. To their left, another of those Froggits sat, watching them. Beside him, there was a tall doorway. In front of them, laying in a pile of leaves, was another of the glowing Save Points. He pointed to it. "Look. Go save." he suggested. Relief flashed across Karkat's face and he moved towards it, before the Froggit suddenly croaked.

"Excuse me, human." He said, his voice deep and grumbling. Karkat paused and looked at him, so he continued, "I have some advice for you about battling monsters. If you Act a certain way or Fight until you almost defeat them, they might not want to battle you anymore. If a monster does not want to fight you, please, use some Mercy, human." he belched.

"Uh... okay. Sure." Karkat told him, before he continued towards the save point. He kicked it and the box popped up. He pressed save, and was once more swallowed in light for a moment. He turned and looked at Dave. "Now, what?"

"Let's keep going, I guess." He shrugged.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so sans is in smash huh  
bet that's where he goes when he's not around

After Karkat saved, Dave moved towards the doorway the Froggit was sitting beside. He peered inside and saw a small, marble stand, on top of which stood a bowl. Approaching, he saw it was filled with little, colorful, hard candies. There was a little card next to it that said '**Take one!**'. He did so, stuffing it into his pocket. As he did so, his very first box popped up.

_Monster Candy- Heals 10 HP  
_ _Has a distinct, non licorice flavor._

"Karkat! Holy fuck, come quick!" He shouted, excited. Karkat ran into the room, looking panicked.

"What? What is it?" He demanded. Dave pointed at the info box.

"It happened to me!" He exclaimed, delighted. Karkat glanced at the box, his shoulders slumping in relief.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Dave, you scared me. That's great." He sighed. He stepped forward and took a candy, too. He pulled out his phone and opened the Items option, only to find Monster Candy was copied into it twice.

"What the-? I only took one." He frowned. Dave reached into his pocket, only to discover his own candy was no longer there.

"Mine is gone. It must have been put in your inventory." He said, turning out his pockets to double check. Karkat closed the box, then the phone.

"Weird. I guess that means we share an inventory." He shrugged.

"Does that mean we share a Soul, then?" Dave wondered. Karkat considered it for a moment.

"Maybe? You haven't entered a Fight yet, so... How about the next guy we run into, you take over and see if anything happens." Karkat suggested. Dave nodded.

"Let's keep going, then." He decided. He turned and headed back out, with Karkat at his heels

They walked past the Save Point and kept going, the corridor taking a right turn. As they turned the corner, another Froggit leaped out at them. Karkat's chest began to glow, but he quickly chose Mercy, then hit Flee. He stepped back, nodding to Dave, who moved forward. The boxes flickered to life in front of him, and his chest glowed. Excited, Dave watched as his Soul appeared. It burst out of his shirt, floating in front of him, just as it had for the troll. He glanced back at Karkat, beaming.

"It works!" He called, delighted. Karkat snorted with amusement as he turned back around. He pressed Act, then Compliment. Several options appeared:

-Your fur looks so soft!  
-That *item of clothing* is lovely!  
-Who painted your claws?  
-You look slimier than usual, are you using a new soap?  
-Your eyes are dazzling; all *number* of them!

Trying not to laugh, Dave repeated the fourth one. The Froggit blinked at him, before its cheeks turned pink and it croaked happily. A swarm of golf-ball-sized flies materialized behind it, and they flew at Dave, buzzing loudly. Acting reflexively, he ducked and rolled to the side as they flew past him, only to disappear into thin air. As he stood back up, he pressed Act, and saw the Froggit's name had turned yellow.

"You've got to Spare it!" Karkat reminded him. Dave nodded and pressed Mercy, then Spare. The boxes winked out of existence and his Soul faded. The Froggit croaked gratefully, and hopped away. Where it had been sitting, it left two golden coins. Surprised, Dave bent down and scooped them up.

"What's that?" Karkat looked at the coins over his shoulder.

"Their currency, maybe? It must be a reward for sparing his life." He said thoughtfully. Dave glanced towards the Froggit had gone.

"Thanks, dude!" He called, putting the coins in his pocket. Karkat's phone chimed and he opened it up. The main menu box popped open and they saw a "2" had appeared next to "**Gold**".

"Good to know." Karkat hummed, closing it again. "Let's keep going." he added, and lead the way forward again.

Entering the next room, they found the road in front of them was covered by a large, patchy tarp. Embedded in the walls on either side were slots that looked like laundry shoots.

"Are we supposed to jump it?" Dave frowned; it didn't look like there was any way they could get around it. Karkat walked over to the shoot and examined it; it was too dark to see down it, though.

"I guess?" He shrugged. That was all Dave needed. He backed up a few steps, then took a running start towards it. He leaped into the air, but under-estimated the size of the tarp. He only cleared part of it before he came crashing down. He hit the tarp, which pulled taunt, before it snapped under him and he fell through with a yelp. "Dave!" Karkat ran to the edge and tried to stop, only to stumble and fall on the tarp, too, before it gave out and sent him crashing down. He landed on his ass with a pained grunt, but a thick pile of leaves had cushioned most of the impact. Dave was sitting beside him, looking around. Behind them, a pair of doorways stood in the wall. Dave glanced at him as he landed.

"You okay?"

"I'm fine."

Standing up, they turned towards the doors. Dave looked up, then pointed to the right one.

"That one is on the other side of the hole, I say we take it." He suggested. Karkat nodded and they moved towards it.

Dave ducked inside first, and waited. There was a moment's pause, before a sudden rush of air surrounded him, thrusting him upwards like the tube at a drive-thru pharmacy. he shouted in surprise, before he was spat out onto the ground. He took several quick steps and managed to stay on his feet, laughing with surprise. Looking around, he was on the other side of the tarp, as he'd guessed. He heard Karkat swear, before he was spat out behind him. He quickly stood up, brushing himself off with an irritated huff.

Before he had a chance to say anything, something flew at them from the ceiling, and Karkat's Soul burst forth to meet it. In front of them was a large, insect creature, roughly the size of a raven. It blinked at them, its eyes wide with fear. Karkat pressed the Act box, and saw the name Whimsun, already colored yellow.

"Spare it, the poor thing is ready to shit itself." Dave told him. Karkat ignored him, pressing Check:

_Whimsun- 5 ATk 0 DEF_   
_This monster is too sensitive to fight..._

"F- forgive meee." The Whimsun whimpered as a hundred butterflies burst from her mouth and flew at them. Karkat tensed, ready to leap away, but they flew right past him. The Whimsun hiccuped, ready to burst into tears. Karkat sighed and Spared it. The Whimsun squeaked and flew off, dropping a coin as it did so. Karkat picked it up and pocketed it.

"That was just sad." He said as the pair started forward again, "Where are all the fucking strong enemies? They're the ones I want to see." Dave shrugged.

"You gotta build up to boss battles, dude." He hummed as they entered the next room. Both of them jumped as Karkat's phone rang. He pulled it out and answered it.

"Hello? This is Toriel. For no reason in particular, which do you prefer: cinnamon or butterscotch?" The cheery goat woman's voice asked.

"Um, butterscotch, why?" Karkat answered.

"Ah, I see. Thank you very much!" Toriel responded, before she hung up.

Karkat and Dave looked up at each other, puzzled. Dave shrugged, turning to look at the room. It looked like all the ones before it, except this one had a line of those spikes cutting it in half. Between the boys and the spikes was a large rock. A short distance from that, there was a pressure plate. On the wall was sign. As Dave moved towards it to read, Karkat's phone rang again. He answered it.

"Hello?"

"Hello? This is Toriel. You do not dislike cinnamon, do you? I know what your preference is, but would you turn up your nose if you found it on your plate?"

"No, I just-"

"Right, right, I understand. Thank you for being patient, by the way." She hung up again. Karkat blinked at the phone, bewildered. Dave turned to read the sign.

"**Three out of four grey rocks recommend you push them**." it said. He quirked an eyebrow at it, then walked over to the rock.

"I feel bad." Karkat said as he kicked the rock towards the pressure plate.

"Why?"

"She trusted us to stay in that room. Maybe we should go back."

"It's fine, dude, really. You've got to go forward to make progress. Aren't you having fun?"

"Well, yeah, I am, but we've been treating this like a game."

"Doesn't it seem like one?" Dave kicked the rock onto the plate. There was a click, and the spikes shrank away.

"Yeah, but..." Dave looked back at the troll, who'd bunched his hands into his sweater anxiously, staring at the floor.

"But?" He prompted.

"But those bullets didn't seem like part of a game." Karkat finished quietly. Dave's eyes widened.

"Wait, you- you felt them?"

"Yes! They ripped right through me, Dave! They nearly killed me! I was bleeding!" Karkat cried, twisting the hem of his sweater up over his hands.

"But Toriel healed you!"

"It still hurt! You feel it when your head comes off, don't you? Even when you rewound and put it back on, it still fucking hurt! I'm starting to think this is like SBURB- like, we've got to finish this if we want to get home and I- I don't want to go through that bullshit again. I can't," His voice broke with a barely suppressed sob; he was working himself up into a panic attack, Dave realized, "I can't fucking do it, I won't, I fucking-" Bright red tears filled his eyes and he grabbed his own hair tightly, his chest heaving.

"Hey hey, whoa, dude." Dave stepped towards him, taking his hands and gripping them securely, gently pulling them out of Karkat's hair. "Take a deep breath, okay? _Breathe_. I've got you." He said softly. Karkat squeezed his fingers, taking gulping breaths.

"I-"

"This isn't like the Game, man. Have you seen any imps? No. It's just been frogs and a goat and a freaky flower. My powers don't even work down here, that should tip you off this isn't like last time. It's gonna be okay, okay? I'm right here with you, and we'll get through this together." He said firmly. Karkat's breathing hitched and slowed as he blinked furiously. Impulsively, Dave reached up and cupped his cheek, releasing one of his hands. Karkat leaned into his palm and sighed, a faint purr motoring to life in his chest as he turned to press his mouth against the human's skin. Dave smiled softly, relieved, and pulled the troll close, hugging him tightly before he pulled back and kissed him briefly. He bonked his forehead against the troll's staring at him. "It's gonna be okay." He repeated, "I've got you. I love you." Karkat glanced away, the tips of his ears going red.

"Love you, too." he mumbled.

"No homo." Dave added. Karkat nodded.

"Yeah."

"Ready to keep going?"

"Yeah."

Dave kissed him again, a little longer this time, then pulled away. Still gripping his boyfriend's hand, he turned and lead the way. Another Whimsun approached them, but Karkat Spared it before his Soul had even fully emerged. As they passed over the line of spikes, Karkat's phone rang, startling them both. He pulled it out.

"Hello?"

"Hello? This is Toriel. You do not have any allergies, do you?"

"Uh, no, why are you asking?"

"Oh, no reason. No reason at all!" Toriel assured him quickly, before she hung up. Karkat glanced at Dave, then stuffed the phone in his pocket without a word. 

They entered the next room. Here, the hall turned right, onto a large space that was covered in another tarp. On the wall to their left was a slot. Dave sighed.

"I guess we break through on this one, too." He said as he stepped forward.

As he passed over it, he was startled to find it didn't give. He took a few more steps forward and saw the room turned again, to the left. Across the expanse of tarp was safe ground and another door. Confidently, he marched forward, only for his feet to shoot through the tarp the next second. He fell with a shriek, pulling Karkat down with him. Again, their fall was cushioned a thick pile of leaves, both of them hitting the pile and sending a flurry of bright leaves into the air. Karkat sat up, shaking them out of his hair.

"Convenient." he commented, patting the leaves. Dave sat up and glanced around; as he rose to his feet, he noted with some curiosity that the leaves were all carefully arranged in a certain way. He noticed another sign on the wall, too. Eager for a hint, he went to check it.

**"Please don't step on the leaves."** It begged. He glanced at the trail again, memorizing it.

"Okay, I got it." he said as Karkat walked over, still trying to pull leaves off his back. Taking the troll's hand hand, he went towards the door on the other side of the room. He let Karkat go first this time, then followed him up. As he popped out on the other end, he saw Karkat was picking himself up from the ground. "Are you ever going to figure out how to keep your balance?" Dave teased. Karkat brushed himself out, scowling.

"Maybe if I wasn't violently blasted into the air I'd keep it _better_." He huffed. Dave chuckled and they moved towards the tarp again, grabbing Karkat's hand.

"Stay behind me." Dave told him. He began carefully walking across the tarp, following the trail in his memory. Slowly, carefully, they inched their way along, until their feet finally touched solid ground. Both of them let out relieved sighs, and they passed into the next room.

It was like the puzzle with the rock before, except this one had _three_ stones. Beyond that was an expanse of water, and a small bridge; the bridge, however, was covered in spikes. Confidently, Dave started for the rock on the left. He pushed it onto the plate, then did the second one. He approached the third one, but as he drew back his leg to kick it, it spoke.

"Whoa there, partner! Who said you could push me around?" It demanded in a thick Texan accent. Dave paused, startled.

"Uh... sorry. Could you maybe move, then?" He asked.

"Hm? So you're askin' me to move over? ... Okay, just for you, pumpkin." It drawled. Dave heard Karkat snort behind him as the rock scootched forward a foot or so, then it stopped.

"Keep going, please." Dave urged.

"You want me to move some more? Alrighty, how's this?" The rock hummed, before it scoot towards the left. Dave sighed.

"No, go forward! Onto the pressure plate thing!" He said impatiently.

"Oh, that was the wrong direction? Okay, I think I got it." Finally, the rock slunk over to the plate and stopped. The spikes disappeared, clearing the bridge for them to cross.

"Nice." Karkat said as they headed for it.

A Froggit hopped out of the water, and Karkat swiftly Complimented it. It gave him a coin and splashed back into the water. As they neared the bridge, however, the spikes suddenly shot back up. Alarmed, Dave leaped back. Glancing behind them, the talking rock had shifted back. He shared a glance with Karkat, before begrudgingly moving towards the rock again.

"Dude, can you like, just sit on the plate until we're across?" He asked.

"Hm? You want me to _stay_ there? You're giving me a real workout." The rock sighed, but moved back into place.

"Thanks, man." Dave told it, then rejoined Karkat. They crossed the bridge, only to be stopped by a new enemy. "Jell-O?" Dave blinked. Karkat shrugged, his soul shining as he pressed Act. The name Moldsmal appeared, its name in yellow. Instead of Sparing it, he pressed Check:

_Moldsmal- 6 ATK 0 DEF_   
_Stereotypical: Curvaceously attractive, but no brains..._

Dave laughed as the Moldsmal tossed wet balls of slime at Karkat, who sidestepped them easily. It squelched as he Spared it, burbling into the ground and disappearing.

"I liked them." Dave snorted as they entered the next room.

"You think he was edible?" Karkat asked, smiling faintly.

"I don't want to know." Dave shook his head.

The next room was very small, but there was another Save Point. Karkat headed for it as Dave looked around. There was a small table next to the Save Point, with an old piece of cheese on it. In the wall was a little hole, from which he heard faint squeaking. Karkat Saved, glancing at the cheese, too.

"I don't think that's edible, either." he said thoughtfully. Dave made a face.

"Dude, look at it. I think it's stuck to the table."

"Well, maybe the rat or whatever will come get it one day." He nodded to the hole.


	4. Chapter 4

The pair were still discussing the morals of eating a creature made of slime as they entered the next room.

This room was oddly shaped; it widened out, only to pinch back inwards, before widening once again. There was a doorway on the left, and a continuation of the path in front of them. Between them and the next room, however, in the narrow section, was a pile of leaves. On said leaves, laid a ghost. Karkat and Dave both drew up in surprise, falling silent as they observed it. Seeing them, the ghost shut its eyes tightly and began to mumble.

"Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z...." It sighed, "... are they gone yet?... Z Z Z Z Z Z..." Dave and Karkat looked at each other, confused. Dave quirked an eyebrow.

"He knows that you don't actually say "Z" when you're asleep, right?" He asked loudly. Karkat rolled his eyes and walked over to the ghost, nudging it.

"Can you just move, please?" He asked impatiently. The ghost suddenly leaped into the air, and Karkat's Soul burst forth as he jumped back. Swiftly pressing Act, the name Napstablook flashed across the box before he pressed Check:

_Napstablook- 10 ATK 10 DEF_   
_This monster doesn't seem to have a sense of humor..._

"Oh, I'm really funny..." The ghost sighed sadly. Tears suddenly poured from his eyes; they were thick, like honey, and they flew towards Karkat like angry wasps. Try as he might to dodge, there were dozens of them; one stuck on his sleeve, and immediately began to burn through the cloth, and onto his arm. He shouted in pain, a bright red burn appearing on his skin. His HP bar fell by three, leaving him at 17.

"Karkat!" Dave stepped forward, but Karkat waved him back.

"I'm fine!" He snapped, turning towards the ghost again. His fingers itched to press Fight, because _fucking hell that hurt_, but he pressed Act again. He hesitated, then pressed Cheer:

-Good job!  
-Well done!  
-You're doing great!  
-I'm so happy for you!  
-You can do it!

He frowned, dismayed. He didn't want to say any of these, but he repeated the third one. The ghost blinked in surprise.

"Heh..." He sniffled. Words appeared on his belly; "Really not feelin' up to it right now. Sorry."

At least he didn't attack, Karkat thought. Encouraged, he selected Cheer again, and repeated the last one. Napstablook smiled faintly. More tears bubbled out of his eyes, but they were slower this time. Karkat managed to get out of the way, but only just.

"I want... to show you something..." Napstablook groaned.

"Dude, is he gonna show us his ghost dong?" Dave whispered.

"Shut up, Dave."

"Let me try..." Napstablook mumbled. Thick tears poured once more, except they rolled up his face and congealed on top of his head. In moments, they'd formed a little top hat. "I call it... "Dapperblook"... Do you like it...?"

"Close enough." Dave shrugged.

"Dave." Karkat said warningly, pressing Cheer again.

"You can't tell me you were hoping to see some ghost dongle, too."

"I'll make your dongle a ghost if you don't shut up." He huffed, before he repeated the second option.

"Oh... gee..." Napstablook blinked. He backed away, the fight ending as suddenly as it had begun. Napstablook laid back down on the leaves, staring up at the ceiling vacantly, "I usually come to the Ruins because there's nobody around... but today I met somebody nice... oh... I'm rambling again... I'll get out of your way..." He sighed, before he fazed though the floor and disappeared.

Once he was gone, Dave stepped up and grabbed Karkat's arm.

"Ow, hey, what the fuck are you-" Karkat began, but Dave turned his arm over and peered at the burn mark, frowning.

"We need to take care of that."

"I'll just go back to the Save Point." Karkat pulled his arm out of the other's grasp, and turned, headed back the way they came. Dave waited patiently, and Karkat was back in less than a minute, offering his arm to the blonde. "There, see? Done." The burn was gone, and his sweater was even repaired. Dave's cheeks puffed out and he let out his breath slowly.

"Good. Let's keep going." They stepped forward, only to pause between the two doorways. "Left or forward?" Dave asked.

"Forward, I think." Karkat looked around, before heading for the doorway. Dave followed. They stepped out into a small room, which was absolutely plastered with spiderwebs. From floor to ceiling, the whole thing was covered in white, sticky strings.

A sign in the middle of the floor read: "**Spider Bake Sale! All proceeds go to real spiders.**"

"This is what Vriska is going to be doing in ten years, just wait." Dave chortled. Looking past the sign, he saw there were a pair of papers stuck on the webs. The first said "**Leave 7 gold"**, while the other asked for 18.

"How much money do we have?" Karkat pulled out his phone and double-checked.

"Four coins."

"Damn. Let's go compliment the shit out of a few dudes so we can see what this is about." Dave suggested. They left the room, and headed for the other one.

This room was huge. In front of them was another sign that read: "**Did you miss it? Spider Bake Sale down and to the right. Come eat food made by spiders, for spiders, of spiders!**" Karkat blanched.

"Do we even _want_ to go back?" He gagged.

"I think so. We need Items, don't we?" Dave reasoned. He glanced around the room and saw a pair of Froggits sitting a little ways down the hall. "There we go, come on!" He started for the Froggit and Karkat followed. The Froggit looked up at them and croaked, ready to speak, but Dave beat him to it, "Hey, can we fight? We need cash." He asked.

The creature paused, before it nodded. Dave's Soul burst forth and he swiftly Complimented it. The Froggit attacked, but he rolled out of the way. The name now yellow, he Spared it. It croaked and leaped away, leaving two coins, which Dave snatched up.

"Great, that's six. One more and we can go back." He passed the coins to Karkat, who pocketed them. Karkat headed for the next Froggit, when his phone rang. He pulled it out.

"Hello? This is Toriel. I just realized, it's been a while since I cleaned up! I was no expecting to have company so soon. There are probably a lot of things lying about here and there. You can pick them up, but do no carry more than you need. Someday you might see something you really like. You will want to leave room in your pockets for that." She said thoughtfully, before she hung up. Karkat looked at Dave.

"Still think we should go back?"

"Yes."

Karkat scoffed. "You're impossible." He stomped towards the other Froggit, who blinked at him.

"I have heard you are quite merciful, for a human." It croaked, making him pause, "Surely you know by now, a monster wears a yellow name when you can Spare it. What do you think of that?"

"Uh... very helpful, thanks." Karkat told it.

"It is rather helpful. Remember, Sparing is just saying you won't fight. Maybe one day, you'll have to do it even if their name isn't yellow." It rumbled, a knowing look in its eyes. Karkat moved away, unnerved.  
As he headed back towards the sign, he saw something up ahead; it was a flash of yellow, and what looked like a waving vine, disappearing into the ground. He froze as Dave caught up.

"What's up?"

"Did you see that?" Karkat asked, pointing towards where the... thing, had just been.

"See what?" Dave followed his finger with his eyes, but saw nothing. Karkat frowned, stuffing his hand in his pocket.

"Forget it. It was probably nothing." He shook his head.

They kept walking, when a new monster suddenly ran at them. Karkat's soul popped out as he stared. The creature was large and round, with gangly limbs and a pair of nubby horns. Its face was mostly taken up by a giant eyeball, above a small mouth filled with razor-sharp teeth. Startled, he quickly pressed Act, where the name Loox flashed, then Check:

_Loox- 6 ATK 6 DEF_   
_Don't pick on him._   
_Family name: Eyewalker._

"Loox Eyewalker." Dave repeated, grinning.

"Please don't pick on me." Loox whined, before streams of bubbles suddenly shot at Karkat. He ducked them, pressing Act, then Don't Pick On, though he wasn't quite sure what that meant. The Loox looked grateful, though. "Finally, someone gets it!" It squeaked, before lashing out with more bubbles.

Karkat clicked Act, only for the name to appear in yellow. Relieved, he switched to Mercy and hit Spare. The Loox bounded away, dropping a handful of coins. Picking them up, Karkat counted five of them.

"We've got eleven now. Let's go back." He told Dave. Together, they headed back to the spider room. Karkat counted out seven coins and dropped them on the web. There was a pause, before a large spider the size of his fist crawled down. On its back, it carried a large donut glazed with purple and white icing. It offered the treat to Karkat, who took it, and it crawled away again. "I'm not eating this." Karkat frowned, turning the donut over in his hands.

"Why? It looks good." Dave frowned. Karkat just shook his head, shuddering with revulsion as it vanished into their inventory.

"Gross." He made a face as they left the room again. They went back to the large room and crossed to the far end, entering the next room.

This was another large room, with six patches of tarp set in the ground. There was a sign, and three slots in the wall. The far door was blocked by spikes. Dave read the sign: "**There is just one switch.**"

"What do we do?" Karkat asked him, glancing at the six tarps.

"I'm guessing the button is hidden under one of the tarps." Dave said, turning away from the sign.

"Which one, though?" Karkat frowned. Dave pointed to the nearest two. "We can split up. You take that one, I'll take the one next to it." He suggested. Karkat nodded and walked over to the first tarp, allowing himself to fall through. Dave hopped onto the next one. He hit the ground easily enough, and was delighted to see the switch, next to a doorway.

"Karkles! I found it!" He called, hitting the button before he took the doorway and shot back upwards. He landed on solid ground and looked around. Karkat hadn't reappeared, but he heard the sound of fighting below. Must have bumped into someone, Dave thought. He wandered around as he waited. He went the the tarp on the other wall and fell through it, curious to see if there was anything there. On the ground was a faded red ribbon. He picked it up, and an info box appeared:

_"Faded Ribbon"- _ _Armor DEF 3_   
_If you're cuter, monsters won't hit you as hard._

He chuckled, pocketing it and hopping into the slot. He popped out, only to turn to the next tarp and jumped through it. To his surprise, he found Napstablook, laying on the ground.

"Hey, man." he greeted him. Napstablook blinked at him.

"I fell down a hole... now I can't get up... go on without me..." He sighed. Dave snorted and shook his head.

"Hell no, you don't leave a buddy behind!" He protested, playing along. Napstablook's eyes widened for a moment, before he sighed again.

"Wait... ghosts can fly, can't they... Oh well..." He mumbled, before he faded away. Dave shook his head again, amused, and went back up.

As he popped out, Karkat was suddenly flung out of his own slot. Dave hurried to him, his grin faltering. Karkat's sweater was covered in stains and splotches, and he was out of breath, only able to nod in thanks as Dave pulled him to his feet. Concerned, Dave pulled back to look at him.

"What-"

"Big. Fucking. Carrot." Karkat panted. He cleared his throat and swallowed, trying to brush himself off.

"What?" Dave repeated. Karkat stood, trying to brush himself off as he caught his breath.

"I met a new monster called Vegetoid. It looks like a carrot and a fucking scarecrow had a baby, dude. It's huge. It kicked my ass." He pulled up his phone to show him his HP, which had been cut to 10. Dave's eyes widened.

"Oh, fuck. Eat one of the candies." he urged. Karkat nodded, going to the Items and selecting one of the Monster Candies. It appeared in his hand. He unwrapped it and popped it in his mouth. "What's it taste like?" Dave asked as he chewed.

"Fruity." Karkat told him, swallowing. He was suddenly enveloped in golden light, like when he was at a Save Point. When it faded, his sweater was clean and his health was restored. He glanced towards he door to see the spikes were gone. "Guess you were the lucky one." He added.

"Guess so." Dave agreed, relieved to see his boyfriend was okay. "Oh yeah, I also found a ribbon, and ran into Napsters again." he added.

"A ribbon?" Karkat pulled up the inventory and read the info. "I'm not wearing that." he frowned. Dave pulled the ribbon out.

"Why not? Here." He stepped closer, and clipped the ribbon to the turtleneck of Karkat's sweater, like a bowtie. The Stat box suddenly popped up; next to DEF, a little "3" had appeared. "There, see? You look good." Dave told him, pleased. Karkat rolled his eyes.

"Whatever. Fine, I'll wear the damn thing." He sighed. They headed for the door, when a Moldsmal suddenly bubbled up in front of them. Bouncing out of a crack in the wall, a new creature joined it. It looked like a cat-sized beetle, with crabby claws. Karkat entered the fight and pressed Act. The Moldsmal's name appeared, already in yellow. Under that was the name Migosp. He Spared the Moldsmal, who squelched away.

"Swing your arms, baby!" The Migosp sang in a raspy, high voice. It suddenly started dancing a little jig, cackling. Karkat watched, bewildered, when Migosp's name turned yellow. He Spared it and it dropped two coins for him. He heard it laughing as it danced away.

"He's fun." Dave said as he watched it disappear, "Dude just wanted to show off his moves; I respect that." Karkat snorted as he pocketed the coins.

"Ready to keep going?" he asked. Dave nodded, and they headed for the next room.


	5. Chapter 5

The next room was rather unique; it was spacious, with a single slot in the wall and three pillars spaced about the middle, and next to each pillar was a large button on a stand. The room turned sharply to their right. Dave glanced around and saw a sign that read: "**The far door is not an exit. It simply marks a rotation in perspective.**"

"What the fuck does that mean?" Karkat frowned, reading it with him.

"I guess it's supposed to be a hint about the next puzzles." Dave shrugged. Walking towards the far side, he saw the spiked grate was empty; the spikes were already down. "Hey, Karks, we can go to the next room already!" He called over his shoulder. Karkat caught up to him.

"Great." He hummed. They passed into the next room, which looked like the other one, only rotated around. In front of the pillar closest to them, was a blue button. The others were hidden by their pillars. They hurried around the corner and saw spikes blocking this doorway.

"Shit, what do we-" Dave broke off as he saw a sign. He moved towards it, when a pair of monsters attacked; a Migosp scuttled towards him, and a giant carrot- Vegetoid- burrowed out of the ground, both with fierce expressions.

"Dave, be careful!" Karkat called as Dave entered the fight, his Soul appearing, "The Vegetoids are fucking brutal." Dave gave him a thumbs up and pressed Act, then selected Vegetoid's name and Check:

_Vegetoid- 6 ATK 6 DEF_   
_Serving size: 1 monster_   
_Not Monitored by the USDA_

Dave started to laugh at the description, when Migosp hissed, "Heed the swarm!"

He attacked him with what looked like a dozen of angry wasps. At the same time, Vegetoid giggled.

"Farmed locally, very locally." It laughed, and launched a barrage of fresh veggies at him. Dave did his best to dodge, but one of the wasps caught him, stinging him on the shoulder and taking 5 HP points. The pain was intense, like a hot needle driven into his skin. He screamed and swat the bug, which instantly disappeared.

"Dave!" Karkat shouted alarmed. Dave grit his teeth, wincing.

"I'm fine." He hissed through his teeth. Blinking back tears, he pressed Act, then Dinner, on Vegetoid. It contemplated him thoughtfully.

"Eat your greens!" It cackled, and launched several red peppers at him. One of them, however, was green, and glowing the same golden light that covered Karkat when he healed.

Desperately, Dave launched himself at it, but in his desperation he'd forgotten about Migosp. He was stung again, in the thigh, making him shout as he grabbed the glowing veggie. It instantly disappeared in his hand and he saw his HP, which had been brought down by 3 from the wasp, leaving him at 12, was restored to 14.

He backed up, panting; his shoulder and thigh were smarting. It hurt to move, but he firmly told himself to suck it up; he'd endured worse. He pressed Act again and was relieved to see Vegetoid's name was yellow.

He spared him, and the carrot disappeared underground. Migosp instantly changed; it began smiling and bouncing on its feet.

"Don't care!" it sang, and began to jig. Dave watched, and its name turned yellow. He instantly Spared it, and it skipped away. It dropped six Gold on the way. Dave's heart faded; the intensity of battle gone, he suddenly slumped to his knees, clutching his shoulder. He heard Karkat drop beside him.

"Fuck, are you okay?" He asked anxiously.

"How bad is it?" Dave croaked, moving his hand from the sting. Karkat pulled down the shoulder of his shirt to look. There was a big, ugly welt on his shoulder, already puffed up with puss.

"Bad." Karkat told him honestly. Dave groaned, slumping against his alien boyfriend. Karkat wrapped his arms around him. "It'll be fine. Here." He pulled their second Monster Candy out of the inventory and pressed it into his hand, but Dave shook his head and passed it back.

"Save it. We don't have many of them."

"But you need to heal!" Karkat protested, "Let's go back to the Save point, then." Dave frowned.

"I don't know if I can Save, though. We haven't tried." He pointed out. Karkat sighed, exasperated.

"What do you want to do, then?"

"Let's just keep going. I'm feeling better already." Dave told him; the stinging feeling had faded slightly now that he'd been able to catch his breath. He pushed off of Karkat and stood up, collecting the Gold from his battle. His thigh twinged, but he stepped forward to read the sign.

"You still need to heal." Karkat said stubbornly, but Dave wasn't listening.

The sign said: "**If you can read this, press the blue switch**."

He turned and, spotting the blue button, made his way towards it. His thigh ached with each step, but he didn't want to worry Karkat, so he did his best not to limp. He hit the blue button and heard the spikes slide away. He rejoined Karkat and they passed into the next room.

It looked like the others, but once again was rotated. Glancing at the sign, it told them to hit the red switch.  
As they examined the pillars, looking for the red one, a Moldsmal and another Migosp appeared in front of them.

"Let me-" Karkat began, but Dave entered the battle before he could finish. He instantly Spared Moldsmal and let Migosp dance, then Spared her. Not much of a battle, he thought, but kept going. He found the red switch around the corner and pressed it. The spikes before them slid away.

"Come on." Dave said.

"No." Karkat said firmly. Surprised by the stubbornness in his voice, Dave looked back.

"What?"

"You're hurt. I'm not going until we heal you."

"I can heal at the Save Point, dude."

"We don't know that!"

"Then lets find out."

"Only if you stop entering fights." Karkat crossed his arms, scowling. Dave resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"Fine, whatever. Just come on." He sighed. Pleased, Karkat joined him at the door and they went through to the next room.

"How many of these are there?" Karkat frowned, as they entered yet another room like the others. Dave shrugged with his good shoulder.

"At least their easy. Look for the sign." he suggested.

They found it on the far wall. As they approached, two Vegetoids burst out of the ground. Karkat leaped forward to shield Dave, and entered the battle. Quickly, he pressed Act, and Dinner on the first one.

"Eat your greens!" They chorused, and attacked with dozens of vegetables. Karkat, despite his best attempts, was hit several times, and missed the healing veggie. He was knocked down to 10 HP and he fell on his ass, groaning in pain.

"Son of a bitch! You fucking pieces of shit, that fucking hurts!" He swore, pushing himself to his feet. He repeated the move, and managed to grab the healing veggie, which boosted him to 12. He spared the first Vegetoid, but the second one attacked, knocking his HP to 6. He whimpered, bruised and beaten all over. He felt a hand on his shoulder and he glanced back to see Dave.

"Trade out. You're hurt worse than me." He said firmly.

"No, I-" Karkat began to protest, but Dave shoved him back. He entered the battle, his Soul appearing. "Dave, you promised!" Karkat cried, but Dave ignored him. He pressed Act and Dinner, and the Vegetoid cackled.

"Filled with vitamins!" It told him, before pelting him with peppers. Try as he might, the healing pepper evaded him, resulting in a few hits, which knocked him from 14 to 7. Scared and desperate, he hit Dinner again, and lunged for the glowing tomato. Unfortunately, he was hit in the face by an onion and a beet.

His HP hit 0.

He crumpled to the ground. Distantly, he heard Karkat scream, and the Vegetoid fled. Above him, his Soul suddenly shattered to pieces. He blacked out.

Karkat ran to his fallen boyfriend, grabbing him.

"Dave! Get up!" He cried, scared. His heart thundered against his ribs, but Dave was unresponsive. Tears bubbled into his eyes and he shook him desperately, his heart breaking. "No, no, no! Dave, get up, come on, please!" He shouted, fighting the panic in his chest. As he watched through blurry eyes, Dave's body began to fade. "NO! NO NO FUCK NO PLEASE! _DAVE!_" Karkat shrieked, pawing at where the body had been moments before. A box appeared above him and he jerked his head up to read it, his breath catching in his throat:

"**You cannot give up just yet... Dave! Stay Determined...**  
**G A M E O V E R**"

"No..." Karkat choked, moaning with despair, "No, not game over! Bring him back!" He shouted. He tried to grab the box, but it disappeared. He whirled around, screaming for Dave and shouting incoherently, before he fell to his hands and knees. He sobbed, his face pressed against the stone as he was wracked with grief.

"Karkles?" A distant voice shouted. Karkat gasped and coughed in surprise, sitting up sharply. "Karkles!" he heard again. He heard running footsteps, and Dave appeared at the door, looking just as panicked. He ran to Karkat, bowling him over in a hug.

"Dave?" Karkat croaked as Dave squeezed him tightly.

"Yes! It's me! I'm okay!" Dave told him quickly, pulling back to look at him. Karkat cupped his face, feeling him, to make sure he was really there.

"I- how- but you- you died! I just saw-" the troll stammered, blinking back his tears rapidly.

"I restarted, or something." Dave explained as Karkat mushed his cheeks, "I woke up back at the Save Point, and ran back here. I got a shit ton of Gold, too. Jesus Christ, dude, stop, I'm fine." He pulled away from Karkat's prying hands. New tears sprang into the troll's eyes and he bared his teeth.

"No, you're _not!_ You're a _fucking asshole!_" He snapped, startling the blonde, "I told you, I fucking _told you_ to heal! And you didn't listen to me! Then I had to watch you try and be a fucking hero and you DIED! YOU FUCKING DIED RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME, DAVID ELIZABETH STRIDER! I- YOU- THE FUCKING- I HAVEN'T- SINCE THE GAME ENDED I THOUGHT- AND THEN YOU FUCKING-" He started shouting, which quickly broke down into sobs. Dave pulled him close, and felt Karkat punch him several times on the shoulder. "Let me go, you fucking dick, I'm pissed- I don't want- you and your stupid martyr complex, I fucking hate you- get off-" He snarled.

"I'm sorry." Dave said quietly, making the other halt in his rant. Dave tightened his grip around him, pressing his face into Karkat's shoulder; he was crying now, too. "I'm sorry." He repeated, "I know it was dumb. I panicked when I saw your HP drop. I didn't want a repeat of what happened with Flowey. I didn't want to see you get hurt, I- I can't watch you get a fucking _papercut_ without getting scared anymore. SBURB fucked me up, man. We're not supposed to be here, our gaming time is supposed to be over. We're not supposed to get hurt anymore, but-" His voice cracked and he stopped, his voice shaky. There was a pause, before he felt Karkat's arms around him, hugging him back. They held each other silently for a long minute, before Karkat finally pulled away, wiping his face.

"I'm just glad you're okay." He rasped finally, sniffling. Dave sniffed and smiled, wiping his own eyes.

"Me, too. Eat the other Monster Candy and we'll keep going, okay?" He swallowed. Karkat nodded, pulling the candy out and swallowing it.

They stood up, shaking themselves out. Dave took a deep breath and let it out slowly, before he headed for the sign, which told him to press the green switch. He heard a click, and turned around to see Karkat had already hit it. Dave smiled and walked over, taking his hand before they headed for the next room. The next room was long, and thankfully, didn't have pillars. In front of them, a couple of vines crossed the path. As they stepped over them, they saw the room turned to the left, but also kept going forward. They paused.

"Which way?" Karkat asked. Dave looked around, thinking; the branch to the left was wider, but had red leaves littered about, which suggested a puzzle. The branch in front of them was covered in vines, like the ones they'd just passed. He nodded ahead of them.

"Let's try forward first." He suggested. Karkat nodded and they headed for the door, which lead to a small room. In the room was a lone Froggit, and another door. As they approached, the Froggit looked up.

"Between you and me," He croaked, "I saw Toriel come out of here just a little while ago. She was carrying some groceries. I didn't ask what they were for, we're all too intimidated to talk to her."

"What? Why?" Karkat frowned. The Froggit didn't answer, instead turning and hopping away. Sharing a glance with Dave, they headed for the other door. They stepped out onto a cliff that overlooked a giant city, far below. To their left, a plastic knife laid on the ground.

"Holy shit." Karkat whispered, stepped forward to look at the twinkling lights. Dave went and collected the knife, and read the info box:

_"Toy Knife"- _ _Weapon ATK 3_   
_Made of plastic, a_ _ rarity nowadays._

He pocketed it, amused.

"Let's go back, it's a dead end." He suggested. Karkat glanced at him and nodded.

"Yeah, okay."

They took each other's hands again and headed back out. When they got back to the fork, they headed for the larger path. Passing into the next room, a giant, gnarled tree stood before them; it was dead, the leaves fallen to the ground and the bark turned black.

"Whoa." Dave commented as they moved closer. The sound of footsteps suddenly reached them from up ahead, and a familiar voice.

"Oh dear, that took longer than I thought it would." Toriel suddenly appeared around the tree, her phone out. She began dialing, when she saw the two of them. Her eyes widened and she hurried to them. "How did you get here, my children? Are you hurt? I should not have left you alone for so long. It was irresponsible to try to surprise you like this." She hesitated, then shrugged, "Well, I suppose I cannot hide it any longer. Come, little ones!" She hummed, before she spun around and headed away again. Karkat looked up at Dave, grinning.

"We did it!" He whispered as they followed.

"Yup." Dave smiled, squeezing Karkat's hand lightly.

"We get to go home now, right?"

"I think so."

They walked around the tree and saw a house up ahead. Lying in a flower bed was a Save Point, which Karkat eagerly went to. Dave examined the house as he did so; it was a small, red-brick, cozy cottage kind of house, the windows glowing with warm light from inside. He felt his heart soar with relief; they were finally going home.


	6. Chapter 6

Dave and Karkat stepped into the house to see Toriel standing in the foyer, waiting for them. The house was warmly lit, with creamy-brown wood flooring and pale walls. Two halls branched to the left and right, and a set of stairs sat behind the goat woman. On the right of the stairs was an old bookshelf; on the left was a small table with a vase of dried flowers on top. The house smelled wonderful, of baking things and spice. It definitely felt homey, Dave thought as he took a deep breath.

"Do you smell that?" Toriel asked them as Karkat kicked the door shut behind them, "Surprise! It is a butterscotch-cinnamon pie! I thought we might celebrate your arrival. I want you to have a nice time living here, so I will hold off on snail pie for tonight. Here, I have another surprise for you." She turned and motioned for them to follow as she went down the right hall. Karkat shared a concerned look with Dave.

""Living here?"" Karkat repeated in a low voice, "I thought we were going home."

"We can ask her later. I'm more concerned about whatever the hell snail pie is." Dave muttered, before they turned to follow Toriel. She'd paused to wait for them, bouncing excitedly on her feet.

"This is it!" She said cheerily. She took their hands and lead them to the first door, "A room of your own! I hope you like it." She reached up, ruffling their hair in a very motherly-way. She paused and sniffed the air, frowning. "Oh dear, is something burning? Um, make yourself at home!" She said quickly, before speeding away. They watched her go, before sharing another look.

"Let's snoop, see if we can find a way out." Dave suggested in a low voice. Karkat nodded and they entered the bedroom.

The room was tiny, if not cozy. The walls were a warm red; as were the bed sheets and carpet. The bed was pushed into the left corner, next to a tall lamp and a toy box, around which a few toys were scattered. Against the far wall was a wardrobe, dresser, and shoe box. Crammed in the right corner was a nightstand, on which was another lamp. An old drawing of a flower was tacked on the wall. After taking this all in, they split up to investigate.

Dave went to the wardrobe and opened it; there were several bright, striped sweaters neatly hung up, some with the tags still attached. Karkat was examining the dresser and shoe box. There was a photo frame on the dresser, but it was empty. All the shoes in the box were different sizes, the troll noted.

"Do you think Toriel eats kids?" He asked, holding up size 4 and size 8 shoe to show Dave. The Strider glanced at them, then shook his head.

"Nah. If she intends for us to stay, she might have just gotten a variety. She didn't really ask our shoe size." He pointed out.

"These shoes are all old and dusty, though."

"Maybe she _had_ kids at some point." Dave shrugged. He headed for the door, "Come on, there's nothing here. Let's look elsewhere." He ducked out of the room and Karkat followed. They moved further down the hall, until they came to the next door. Dave quietly opened it and they stepped inside.

While the room before was all red, this one was blue; the walls, carpet, bed sheets, even the giant bookshelf and dresser; all painted or colored various shades of blue. The bed was huge, pushed into the far right corner, next to a rubber fern that nearly reached the ceiling. Next to that was the giant bookshelf, crammed with thick, leather-bound books. A pair of flower pots sat on top; one contained a mini cactus, while the other held a bunch of golden flowers. In the far left corner was a dresser, a mirror hung on the wall above it. In the left corner nearest to them was another, bigger cactus, which had bloomed with several flowers. To their right was a large desk, next to a chair and bucket. On the desk was a lamp, a few scattered papers, and a journal. Dave made a beeline for it. It was a diary, a passage circled in red. Eager for clues, he read it:

**"Why did the skeleton want a friend?**   
**Because she was feeling BONELY!"**

He frowned and read further, but the whole page was just skeleton-based jokes. He glanced at the bucket, expecting to find crumpled papers, but saw that it was actually filled with snails.

"Ew... Hey, Karkat, you guys ever fill your pails with snails?"

"Do we _what?!_" Karkat whirled around in shock; he'd been examining the books. Dave motioned to the bucket.

"You ever fill your jizz-buckets with snails?" He repeated. Karkat's face went red and he crossed his arms.

"Hell no! That's fucking gross!" He huffed, refusing to look at the bucket. Dave chuckled, looking around the room again.

"Let's go, then, I don't think there's anything here, either." He sighed. Karkat gratefully marched for the door, shooting the bucket a disgusted look. They stepped back out into the hall and headed for the end of the hall, where a final door stood, a sign posted on it that said "**Room under renovations.**" Dave frowned and tried the handle, but it was locked tight.

"Bet that's where she kills the kids to eat them." Karkat muttered.

"She eats snails, dude, I don't think she eats kids." Dave sighed, exasperated. He looked around; they'd reached the end of the hall, and the only other thing was a mirror hung to their right. He walked towards it and examined himself. He brushed his fingers through his hair, staring himself in the eyes. Karkat appeared in the reflection beside him, looking at himself.

"We look like shit." He commented, nodding to their reflections.

"Correction, _you_ look like a mess. _I'm_ sexy." Dave hummed. Karkat rolled his eyes.

"Please, you couldn't pull of sexy if you tried."

"That's not what you said the other night." Dave taunted. Karkat playfully shoved him on the shoulder.

"Oh, shut up." He turned away, "Let's go find Toriel." Dave snorted, shoving his hands in his pockets as he followed him. They crossed the foyer and headed for the right, until they entered a living room.

In front of them was a dinner table, with three chairs pushed under it. Against the wall to their right was a large fireplace, in which a warm flame crackled. Next to it was a bookshelf, and a rack fire tools. In front of the fire, in a squishy, over sized chair, was Toriel. She had reading glasses on, and a book in her lap. She glanced up as they approached.

"Hello there, little ones. The pie hasn't cooled down yet. Perhaps you should take a nap." She suggested. Dave and Karkat looked at each other.

"Uh, I think we're good." Karkat told her. She smiled.

"You'd rather stay up with me, then? Well, I want you to know how glad I am to have someone here. There are so many old books I want to share. I want to show you my favorite bug-hunting spot. I've also prepared a curriculum for your education. This may come as a surprise to you, but I have always wanted to be a teacher." She paused, thinking, "Actually, perhaps that isn't very surprising. Still, I am glad to have you living here." Dave bit the inside of his cheek before he sighed.

"Right, about that, um..." He glanced at Karkat, who shook his head. Dave paused, giving him a confused look.

"What is it?" Toriel prompted him. Dave hesitated, then shook his head.

"Forget it." She shrugged, and resumed her book. Dave pulled Karkat aside. "What's up? I thought we wanted to leave." He said quietly.

"I know, I do," Karkat assured him, "But it's late. I say we take her up on her offer of bed, then leave in the morning. I'm exhausted after all the fights and seeing you... you know." He explained. Dave hesitated, then nodded.

"Okay, fine. Go to bed, then, I want to snoop a little more." He told him. Karkat nodded and hugged him tightly, kissing him briefly before he headed away. Dave watched him go, then looked around.  
Behind Toriel was another door, so he headed for it to investigate.

It lead to a small kitchen. Glancing behind him to make sure Toriel wasn't watching, he crossed to the fridge and opened it, half afraid he was going to find children meat after all Karkat said. Fortunately, there were only vegetables, fruits, and the like. A large, unopened chocolate bar sat on the middle shelf. He shut the door and looked around the sink; nothing special there, except for a ball of white fur stuck in the drain. He dropped down to a knee and opened the drawers in the counter; nothing but cookie cutters and tuber-ware. Standing back up, he noticed the pie Toriel had made.  
It was huge, but was still steaming hot; too hot to touch, let alone eat. Lastly, he examined the oven; it was surprisingly clean, like it hadn't been used. He glanced around some more, before he left. As he passed her, Toriel looked up.

"David?" She asked. Dave paused, glancing at her.

"Yes ma'am?"

"Are you and Karkat... intimate?" She asked. His eyebrows lifted slightly.

"Yeah, why?"

She shrugged. "Just curious. I've never seen a monster and human in a relationship."

"He's an alien, technically, not a monster." Dave corrected her. She chuckled.

"No, sweetheart, he's human. You're the monster, and you're not an alien, either." Dave frowned.

"No, Tori, I'm the human. He's got grey skin and horns; that's not a human. Look at me, I'm pink and hornless."

Toriel gave him a patient smile. "But you have red eyes," She pointed out, "Humans don't have red eyes." He shut his mouth and clenched his jaw, trying not to flinch; he knew that all too well. For the first time since the end of the Game, he wished he had his shades.

"... Yeah. Great talk. I'm... gonna go." He muttered, quickly leaving the room. He paused in the foyer and glanced at the stairs, kind of curious, but his heart wasn't in it anymore. He headed for the bedroom.

He slipped inside quietly, and saw Karkat was already asleep, curled up under the covers, his shoes thrown onto the floor. Dave kicked off his own shoes and crawled under the covers with him. Karkat rolled over and pressed against him as he made the bed dip. Gratefully, Dave wrapped his arms around him and held him close. He closed his eyes, sighing softly.

"You okay?" Karkat asked quietly, making Dave flinch in surprise; Karkat hadn't been asleep, apparently.

"Yeah."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing. Just... missing home." He mumbled. Karkat pulled back and looked at him, his grey eyes shining silver in the dark.

"Me, too. We'll go home tomorrow, okay? Try to get some sleep." Karkat murmured, pressing a kiss to Dave's nose.

Dave sighed again and nodded, nuzzling his nose against Karkat's before the troll ducked, tucking his head under Dave's chin and pressing his face against his shoulder, closing his eyes. Dave tightened his grip on him, feeling Karkat shift to tangle their legs together. He closed his eyes, feeling Karkat's horn bump his cheek gently. Still, he couldn't sleep, even as he heard Karkat begin to do the cute snore-purring he did that meant he was out.

So he laid there, his mind tumbling back and forth between thoughts, before he heard the door quietly open. He tensed, raising his head slightly, and saw Toriel's silhouette in the doorway. She silently crept into the room, before bending down and setting something on the floor. She stood back up and walked towards the bed and Dave quickly shut his eyes, braced for whatever she was going to do, but she only adjusted the blanket and smoothed it out. She was tucking them in, he realized with a pang.

"I am sorry if I upset you, David." She whispered. There was a little more shuffling, then he heard the door shut. Peering into the dimly lit room, he saw she'd paired and lined their shoes up, next to the foot of the bed. On the floor, she'd left a plate; it was a large slice of the pie, and a pair of forks. He gazed at it for a long moment, before he rolled back over. Pressing his face into Karkat's hair, he finally managed to pass out.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story has been sitting since November, and I think i finally fixed my game. We're in quarantine where I am, so... might as well get back to this shiz huh. Not like I have anything better to do lmao

When Dave woke again, he was momentarily disoriented; this wasn't his bedroom, nor was it Karkat's. Had they passed out at Egbert's again? He rubbed his eyes, sitting up and blinking around, before everything came rushing back.

The mountain, the fall, the flower, Toriel- he swallowed, swinging his legs off the bed and getting up. Hearing noises behind him, he turned and saw Karkat was awake, his mouth opened wide in a yawn as he rubbed his face. He opened his eyes and blinked up at Dave, dismayed.

"We're still here." He mumbled, "I thought- I thought I'd wake up and we'd be home."

Dave grimaced. "Me too. Let's go see what this is all about." He sighed, turning and grabbing his shoes. He slipped them on as Karkat stood up, approaching the slice of pie Toriel had left them. As he picked it up, it disappeared into their inventory. Pulling out the cell phone, he opened the Items and hit Info on the pie:

_"Butterscotch Pie"- All HP_   
_Butterscotch-cinnamon pie, one slice._

"Oh damn." Dave said, glancing up to read the box, "We should save that, huh?"

Karkat nodded, closing the phone down and grabbing his shoes. Once they were both dressed, Dave took Karkat's hand and led the way out of the bedroom. They headed down the hall and crossed the foyer, to see Toriel hadn't moved from her chair. She looked up as they approached, beaming.

"Oh, hello!" She greeted them, "Do you want to hear about the book I'm reading? It is called "72 Uses for Snails". How about it?" Karkat and Dave looked at each other.

"Sure?" Dave shrugged.

"Here is an exciting snail fact: Did you know that snails have a chainsaw-like tongue called a radula? Interesting!"

"Yeah..." Karkat resisted the urge to curl his lip in disgust; he was losing any sort of respect he had for snails by now.

"Well, bother me if you need anything else!" Toriel purred, snuggling back against her chair and propping the book up again. Dave looked at Karkat, who met his eye and nodded. Dave took a deep breath.

"Actually, Toriel, um..."

"What is it?" She asked, not looking up from her page.

"We... We wanna know how to get out of the Ruins." He said, swallowing. Toriel visibly tensed in her seat, her grip tightening on her book. There was silence for a solid ten seconds.

"... I have to do something. Stay here." She rumbled, smoothly getting to her feet.

She closed her book and set in on the chair, before she briskly strode past them. Sharing alarmed glances with one another, Dave and Karkat followed her.

They stepped into the foyer and saw the top of her head descending the steps to their left. They hurried after her, going down into a dark basement. Dave blinked and squinted; there was just enough light for him to see a few feet ahead of him as they both slowed, edging forward nervously. He felt Karkat's grip tighten on his hand, the troll's claws digging into his skin.

As they moved deeper, Dave froze in his tracks as he saw the figure of Toriel, stopped just ahead of them. The goat woman was silent, her hands clenched at her sides.

"... You wish to know how to return "home", do you not? Ahead of us lies the end of the Ruins; a one-way exit to the rest of the Underground. I am going to destroy it."

"What?!" Karkat cried, his voice echoing off the narrow walls.

"No one will ever be able to leave again." Toriel said, her voice edging on a growl, "Now be good children and go upstairs." She didn't look at them as she marched forward.

"Toriel, hold up!" Dave shouted, pulling Karkat along as they ran after her. She'd stopped again, hunching her shoulders at his shout.

"Every human that falls down here meets the same fate. I have seen it again and again. They come. They leave." She glanced over her shoulder, staring at Karkat with a distressed light in her eyes. "_They die_. You naive children. If you leave the Ruins, they... _Asgore_... will kill you. I am only protecting you, do you understand? Please... go to your room." She turned back around and kept going. Dave didn't move to go after her, but Karkat did, and he let the troll take the lead this time. They rounded a corner to the left and heard Toriel snarl, "Do not try to stop me. This is your final warning."

"Toriel, wait-" Karkat started, but she sped away. Growling with frustration, Karkat stomped after her.

Finally, the two boys emerged into a small cavern that looked unlike the rest of the basement. What was wallpaper became brick, and what was wooden flooring became stone. Before them, Toriel stood in front of a large door, her back to them and her paws pressed against it. The two of them edged closer to the goat, Karkat opening his mouth to speak, but Toriel beat him to it.

"You want to leave so badly? Hmph. You are just like the others. There is only one solution to this. Prove yourself- prove to me that you are strong enough to survive!" She whirled on them.

"Toriel, no, listen-" Karkat cried, stepping forward. He gasped as his Soul burst forth to meet the monster, his option boxes appearing. "No! I don't want to fight you!" He shouted, angrily slamming Act and Talk. "Just fucking listen, won't you?!" Toriel didn't answer him, refusing to look him in the eye as she raised her paws. Blue flames burst from her palms and flew at the troll, who ducked and twisted away. "Fuck- fine, then!" He snarled, punching Act and Check:

_Toriel- 80 ATK 80 DEF_   
_Knows best for you._

Karkat leaped back as Toriel suddenly lunged for him, her hands aflame as she swat at him. He avoided her first swing, but her second struck him in the chest, sending him flying across the room.

"Karkat!" Dave cried, shocked, and ran to him; he'd pressed himself against the wall when the fight had started, trying to give Karkat room in the tiny space. Karkat was picking himself up as he stopped beside him, the trolls health bar thrown down to 15. He sniffed, hissing in pain, his eyes bright.

"... I get it." He muttered, a small smile crawling across his face.

"Karkat? You okay?" Dave asked anxiously; the front of Karkat's sweater was smoldering.

"I'm fine." Karkat assured him as he got to his feet.

He ran forward, slamming his palm into Mercy this time. He pressed Spare, holding his breath and hoping it would work. Toriel paused, her fire dimming for a moment. She stood stock still, and Karkat pressed Spare again. When he hit it a third time, she growled and raised her palms, a wall of fire blasting, roaring towards him. Karkat bellowed, throwing his arms up to shield himself; he had no time to dodge, and his health shrank to 3. His clothes and hair smoking, he punched Spare for a fourth time. Blinded by smoke, he was hit by a fireball again, unable to see it as it was flung at him. 2, his health bar read. He hit Spare again, and Toriel made a puzzled noise.

"What are you doing?" She hissed, sounding upset and distressed. Karkat only coughed; he could taste blood as he pressed Spare. "Attack or run away!" She ordered. Dave glanced at Karkat anxiously; the troll was still trying to rub the smoke out of his eyes, so the human stepped forward and hit Spare for him. "What are you proving this way?" Toriel cried, "Fight me or leave!"

"No." Dave pressed Spare again with a defiant look at the goat. She hesitated, raising her hands again. Fire swarmed around them, but none of the flaming orbs even came close to them. In their light, Dave saw tears in her eyes.

"Stop looking at me that way." Toriel croaked, fires continuing to stream from her palms. He hit Spare. "Just go away!" She shouted, frustrated. Dave swallowed and went to hit Spare, when Karkat's hand reached out and pressed it with him. Toriel took a small step back at that, staring at their hands.

"We won't fight you, Toriel." Karkat said, his voice raspy. Toriel's arms trembled.

"I know you want to go home, but... but please... go upstairs." She whimpered. They hit Spare. "I promise, I will take good care of you here. I know we do not have much, but-" They hit Spare. "-we can have a good life here." Dave wrapped an arm around Karkat's waist as they hit Spare. She dropped her arms, gripping her robes. "Why are you making this difficult? _Please_, go upstairs!" She pleaded.

Karkat shook his head and hit Spare. Dave repeated the motion, and Toriel took another step back, her distressed look turning into an expression of realization, defeat, and then... a small smile. "Ha ha... Pathetic, is it not? I cannot even save a single child."

"Tor-"

"No, I understand." She shook her head, cutting Dave off, "You would just be unhappy trapped down here. The Ruins are very small once you get used to them. It would not be right for you to grow up in a place like this." She gripped her own arms tightly. "My expectations... my loneliness... my fears... For you, my children, I will put them aside." She took a deep breath and stepped away. Karkat's Soul faded, as did the boxes. He slumped against Dave, relieved, and the Strider held him aloft, keeping an arm around him. He looked up at Toriel, who had turned to face the door again. "If you truly wish to leave the Ruins... I will not stop you. However, when you leave... please do not come back. I- I hope you understand." Dave heard locks click open, before Toriel turned to face them again.

"Toriel-" He tried again, before she suddenly dropped to her knees and pulled them close, hugging both boys tightly. Dave hesitated, before he hugged back, pressing his face into her fur; even though he knew they had to go, a pang of regret still shook him. Karkat let out an unhappy whimper as he clung to her other side, before the monster woman rose to her feet. Tears brimmed in her eyes and she blinked them back furiously.

"Goodbye, my children." She whispered, before she turned and brushed past them.

They watched her go until she was around the corner, then looked at one another. Karkat blinked at him, his eyes misted over with red tears. Dave himself could feel his throat tighten. Swallowing thickly, he took Karkat's hand tightly. Karkat squeezed his fingers and nodded wordlessly, letting Dave pull him forward. Dave reached out and shoved the doors open; they swung forward slowly, the hinges silent as they glided apart, revealing a long hallway before them.

Hand and hand, they started forward, Karkat still limping and weary from the fight.

The hall stretched forever, slowly growing lighter as they approached the end; they seemed to walk for minutes, five at the most, Dave estimated, before they saw a doorway ahead. They passed through and froze in their tracks. Before them, sitting in a patch of light, was Flowey.

"You!" Karkat snarled.

"Clever. Verrrryyy clever." Flowey sneered, "You think you're really smart, don't you? In this world, it's kill or be killed! So, you were able to play by your own rules. You spared the life of a single person." He shook his head, giggling. "I bet you feel _really_ great; you didn't kill anybody this time. _But_, what will you do if you meet a relentless killer?" He cackled, "You'll die and you'll die and you'll die! Until you tire of trying! What will you do then?" He bared his teeth; why the fuck does a flower have teeth, Dave thought, "Will you kill out of frustration? Or will you give up entirely on this world... and let _me_ inherit the power to control it? I am the _prince_ of this world's future. But don't worry, my little monarchs, my plan isn't regicide! This is _SO_ much more interesting!"

"Listen here, you fucked up piece of celery-" Karkat began angrily, before Flowey burst into a fit of mad laughter; it sent a shudder up Dave's back to hear it, the flower's face twisting into something demented. As his fit subsided, he suddenly withered into the ground and vanished. "Motherfucker!" Karkat swore.

Dave glanced up and noticed an archway ahead of them; snow was piled up against the sides, and he could feel a cold wind brush by him.

"Karkles, forget him." He said distractedly, "Look." He nodded to the arch, making Karkat stop mid-rant. The troll brightened hopefully, before his face fell.

".... Dave?"

"Yeah?"

"I don't think we've beat this game."

"No."

"We've only just started, haven't we?"

"I think so."

"I want to go home."

"Then let's get through this." He squeezed Karkat's hand, and received a squeeze in return.

"... Right." Sharing a glance and a nod, the two strode past the light and into the arch, to emerge into a new world.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I left this story for so long, but hopefully I'm back to updating regularly? I missed this story so much, I went back and edited the previous chapters and cleaned them up a little. Go give them a read over!


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sans sans sans sans sans sans sans snas sans sans-

Dave and Karkat froze in their tracks as they emerged from the arch.

"Holy fuck, we're in Narnia." Dave gasped, squinting against the sudden brightness.

They'd stepped out into a snow-covered forest that stretched further than either of them could see. Tall, dark trees clustered close together until they could barely see between them. The snow had been cleared before them, opening a path through the woods. It was piled as high as their waists where it had been shoved up against the trees. The temperature dropped dramatically, goosebumps shuddering to life on Dave's skin; he glanced enviously at Karkat's sweater, and noticed the troll was looking off to their left.

"Dave, look." Karkat tugged on his hand, pointing into a large bush. Dave followed his finger with his eyes and saw a video camera, balanced carefully on the branches of the bush. It was whirring softly, but as they both looked at it, the whirring stopped with a soft click. More goosebumps broke out on the human's skin, but it wasn't from the cold this time; the air felt weird, he realized, glancing around. It felt heavy almost, their voices muted by a strange tension in the air. Suddenly uneasy, Dave stepped closer to Karkat.

"I don't like this." He muttered under his breath. Karkat nodded in agreement.

"Definitely a change from the Ruins. Let's get out of here." Dave hesitated.

"How much HP you got?" He asked, eyeing the trees; who knew what lurked in there, he thought. Karkat pulled out his phone and opened it.

"Only two." He sighed, opening the inventory and eyeing their items. So far, they had:

-Spider Donut  
-Bandage  
-Toy Knife  
-Butterscotch Pie

"What's the bandage?" Dave asked. Karkat clicked the Info:

_"Bandage"- Heals 10 HP_   
_It has already been used several times._

"Okay, ew. Use it, I guess. I'll take the lead until we get to a Save."

Karkat nodded and selected the sticky gauze, which appeared around his pointer finger. It glowed brightly for a moment, before fading into his skin. Looking up, Dave saw his HP boost to 12. Karkat closed the phone and shoved it into his pocket.

"Let's go, I'm ready to be out of these creepy-ass woods." He muttered.

Squeezing his hand comfortingly, Dave started forward. Karkat kept close to him as they moved, both of them glancing about the trees. After a minute of silent walking, they came across a large branch lying across the path. They stepped over it, not daring to disturb anything.

Dave nearly leaped out of his skin at an almighty **_CRACK!_** from behind them. Both he and Karkat whirled around and saw the branch had shattered. Not cracked or broken, like someone had stepped on it in passing. No, it was _shattered_, into nothing more than a collection of splinters.

"Who's there?!" Karkat shouted impulsively, his voice sounding small. There was no answer, but Dave had the nauseating feeling that they were being watched.

"Think that's our cue to go, my dude." Dave whispered, backing away from the branch and turning back around.

Karkat didn't argue, and their pace unconsciously got a little faster. As they passed a large stand of trees, Dave did a double-take; for a split second, he could have sworn he saw someone- or something- standing in the shadows, watching them. When he looked back, though, all he was were trees. His breathing feeling a little funny in his chest, he kept moving until both of them were walking as fast as they could without breaking into a jog.

They both came to a screeching halt at the sight before them; there was a bridge in front of them, with wooden pillars mounted over it, like the bars of a cage. There was enough room to squeeze between them, and Dave briefly wondered why it was there in the first place.

His contemplation came to a standstill at the crunching sound of footsteps behind them, though.

Both he and Karkat froze, stiffening in fear as the footsteps slowly approached. He glanced at Karkat out of the corner of his eye and saw the troll's eyes were blown wide; he felt the other's claws dig into his palm as the footsteps stopped right behind them.

"Human." A voice rumbled; it was a man, Dave guessed, with a rough New Yorker accent. "Don't you know how to greet a new pal?" the man continued, "Turn around and shake my hand." His body moving on the man's command, Dave and Karkat both turned around, Karkat reaching out and grabbing the hand that was offered.

_PPPPPPBBBBBRRRRRRTTTT!!!_

Nothing, absolutely nothing, could have prepared Dave for the loud fart sound that ripped through the air, nor for what he saw.

Before them, shorter than them both, was a skeleton. He barely came up to Dave's chest, and was grinning with undisguised glee. He was dressed in a blue jacket with a furry hood, a white shirt, black shorts, and blue house slippers; it weirdly all fit him perfectly. He was also very... wide for a skeleton. Looking down, Dave saw a whoopee cushion pressed between his bony fingers and Karkat's palm.

The skeleton laughed, a deep, throaty chuckle as he withdrew his hand. "Hehe... The old whoopee cushion in the hand trick. It's _always_ funny." He grinned, looking the two of them over, clearly assessing them just as Dave had just done, before he focused on Karkat. "Anyways, you're a human, right? That's hilarious."

"I'm- no, I'm not-" Karkat began.

"I'm Sans. Sans the skeleton." The bony man continued as if he hadn't spoken, "I'm actually supposed to be on watch for humans right now. But... y'know... I don't really care about capturing anybody. Now my brother, Papyrus... he's a human hunting _fanatic_."

"Human _hunting_?" Dave echoed, sharing a furtive glance with Karkat. Sans nodded, still grinning.

"Hey, actually, I think that's him over there. I have an idea, go through this gate thingy," He gestured to the bridge behind them, "Go right through, my bro made the bars to wide to stop anyone."

Dave wasn't going to argue. He ducked under the bars, pulling Karkat with him. He heard Sans follow, hearing the _slap slap slap_ of the skeleton's slippers on the ground. They approached a cleared section of the woods, where a pair of rocks sat next to one another. To the right of that was what looked like a little hut, like an ice cream stand. Closer to them, though, was a large, purple and teal lamp.

"Quick, behind that conveniently shaped lamp!" Sans urged Karkat. Shooting a glance at Dave that clearly said, 'this is ridiculous', Karkat released his hand and ducked behind the lamp. When he stood up, he was perfectly hidden. Dave bit the inside of his cheek and glanced at Sans, who'd stepped forward. The sound of footsteps rapidly approaching reached them, and Dave looked up to see a second skeleton approaching. "Sup, bro?" Sans greeted the newcomer, casually stuffing his hands into his pockets.

"You know what "sup", brother!" The second skeleton- who Dave assumed was Papyrus- fumed in a high, declarative voice, "It's been eight days and you still haven't recalibrated! Your! Puzzles! You just hang around outside your station! What are you even doing?!"

While he was talking, Dave was attempting to register the gaudy uniform the other was wearing. First off, he noted, Papyrus was much taller than him; he'd probably only come up to his shoulder if they stood side by side. But the _outfit_\- he was wearing what Dave could only assume was a white crop-top that bunched up under his rib bones. The shoulders puffed out dramatically. Over that, he wore a red cape that fluttered down his spine. A pair of bright red boxing gloves covered his hands. All of that could have been excusable, if it wasn't for the denim, _very_ short shorts that covered the skeleton's pelvis. To cap it all off, the skeleton was wearing large, knee-bone high red boots.

"Staring at this really cool lamp with my new friend." Sans was saying, "It's really cool. Do you wanna look?"

"NO! I don't have time for that!" Papyrus yelled, "What if a human comes through here?! I want to be ready! I will be the one! I must be the one! I will capture a human!" Dave was starting to wonder if the skeleton even knew what a human looked like because... he was standing right in front of him. Papyrus hadn't appeared to have noticed him yet, though. "Then I, the great Papyrus, will get all the things I utterly deserve! Respect! Recognition! I will finally be able to join the Royal Guard! People will ask to be my friend! I will bathe in a shower of kisses every morning!" He declared dramatically. Dave had to bite the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing.

"Hm... Maybe this lamp will help you." Sans suggested.

"Oh my fucking god." Dave heard Karkat whisper from behind the aforementioned lamp.

"Sans! You are not helping! You lazybones! All you do is sit and boondoggle! You get lazier and lazier every day!" Papyrus stomped his feet angrily.

"Hey, take it easy, I've gotten a _ton_ of work done today." Sans said placidly, before he turned and winked at Dave, "A _skele-ton_."

Dave pursed his lips for a second. "Ba-dum-tis." He supplied, and watched Sans light up with glee.

"Sans!" Papyrus shouted, looking like he was trying not to laugh.

"Come on, you're smiling." Sans pointed out.

"I am and I hate it!" Papyrus huffed, before he sighed. "Why does someone as great as me have to do so much just to get some recognition?"

"Wow, sounds like you're really working yourself... down to the _bone_." Sans winked at Dave again, who snorted.

"Ugh! I will attend to my puzzles. As for your work... put a little more _backbone_ into it!" Papyrus shot back, before he cackled, "Nyehehehe!" and turned, marching away, only pausing to look back and bark a final, "Heh!"

Once he'd disappeared through the trees, Sans turned to the lamp.

"Okay, you can come out now." Karkat stepped out from behind the lamp, looking between Dave and Sans.

"You oughta get going." Sans said, smiling, "He might come back. And if he does, you'll have to sit through more of my hilarious jokes." Karkat rolled his eyes as Dave approached him.

"That was stupid." The troll muttered. Dave shook his head.

"Nah, that was just brothers." He corrected him, taking his hand as they turned to walk away. He glanced at the hut as they passed and noticed bottles of ketchup, mustard, and relish stacked in little shelves behind the counter. Before they could leave, Sans spoke up again.

"Actually, hey." He called, making them turn back around, "Hate to bother ya, but can you do me a favor? I was thinking; my brother's been kinda down lately. He's never seen a human before, and seeing you guys just might make his day. Don't worry, he's not dangerous, even if he tries to be." Dave and Karkat glanced at one another.

"Uh, okay." Dave nodded. Sans looked relieved.

"Thanks a million. I'll be up ahead." He said, before he turned and strolled back the way they'd come. Dave blinked, confused, before he felt Karkat tug on his hand.

"Let's go." The troll hummed. Turning back around, Dave followed him.

As they passed the clearing, they came across a fork in the path. it zigzagged before them, while it also forked to their left. Beside them was a Save Point, which Karkat made a beeline for while Dave looked around. Ahead of them was a small wooden chest, with a sign beside it. He stepped closer to read it:

"**This is a box. You can put an item inside or take an item out. The same box will appear later, so don't worry about coming back. Sincerely, a box lover.**" It explained.

"We should put the pie in here, don't you think?" Dave suggested, hearing Karkat approach. "So we don't waste it?"

"Yeah." Karkat kicked the box, which popped open, along with his inventory. Inside the box already was something called "Tough Glove". Curious, Karkat pulled it out and exchanged it for the pie. He closed the box and opened the inventory to read:

_"Tough Glove"- Weapon ATK 5_   
_A worn pink leather glove, f_ _or five-fingered folk._

"Do we need weapons? We haven't really fought anyone." Dave frowned. Karkat pulled up his own info:

**Karkat**  
**LV 1**  
**HP 20/20**  
**Attack: 4 EXP: 0**  
**DF: 3 Next: 10**  
**Weapon: sickles**  
**Armor: faded ribbon  
** **Gold: 32**

He frowned, and switched back to Items before he equipped the Tough Glove.

"Better safe than sorry." he said finally. Dave nodded.

"Fair enough. Ready to keep going?" Karkat hummed in affirmation, closing the phone and taking his hand.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> two chapters in one day? sure why not.

"Which way?" Karkat asked, looking between the two divergences in the path. Dave hesitated, then pointed to the left.

"Let's try that way, the other path looks like progress." He explained. As they turned and started walking, their shoes crunching on the snow, a monster burst out of the underbrush and flew at them. Dave jumped forward to meet it, his Soul launching into appearance.

Before them stood a giant, white and blue bird the size of a turkey. Except this turkey had teeth, markings that looked like snowflakes. and wings of feathered ice. Hitting Check, Dave read:

_Snowdrake- 6 ATk 2 DEF_   
_This teen comedian fights to keep a captive audience._

"My favorite iced cereal is frosted flakes!" The Snowdrake squawked, before flapping his wings. What looked like claws made from ice flew towards Dave, who flung himself sideways. He whirled and slammed his palm onto Laugh, before forcing out his own chuckle. The Snowdrake lit up. "See! Laughs! Dad was wrong!" He crowed. Dave managed to avoid the next flurry of blows before he was able to hit Spare. The Snowdrake fluttered away, leaving behind 12 gold.

Dave scooped it up, grinning. "Good luck with your stand-up, dude!" He called after the monster as Karkat stepped up beside him again.

"I am getting very sick of puns." The troll commented as they resumed walking. Dave bumped him with his shoulder affectionately.

"Aw, come on, man. Don't be so _cold_." He scolded. Karkat glared at him, puckering his lips as he tried not to smile.

"Getting sick of you, too." He huffed as they stepped out of the trees. Dave only hummed in acknowledgement.

In front of them, a wide river rushed past, so deep that Dave couldn't see the bottom. Stepping closer to look, he noticed a fishing pole buried in the ground, the string taunt like it had a catch on it. His interest piqued, he moved closer and reeled in the line. He grabbed the hook as it came up and saw all that was attached was a photo of a weird looking monster, and the words "Call me! Here's my number!" Written on the back. After a moment's hesitation, he threw it back into the water, shaking his head in confusion.

"There's nothing here, let's go." He said decisively. Karkat didn't argue, the two of them turning and heading back to the fork before taking the other path. Dave took the lead, Karkat staying close to watch out behind them. They didn't get far, though, before they stopped at the sight of Sans and Papyrus before them.

"So, as I was saying about Undyne," Papyrus was saying as they walked up. He suddenly noticed them and stopped talking, before he grabbed Sans and jerked him to face the other way. "Sans! Oh my god! Is that a human?!?!" He hissed excitedly. The two of them turned back around and Sans tipped his skull to the side, thinking.

"Uhhh... Actually, I think that's a monster." he said. Papyrus frowned.

"Oh."

"Hey, what's that behind the monster?" he asked, gesturing towards Karkat. Papyrus blinked, peering over Dave's shoulder. His eye sockets widened.

"Oh my god!" he cried excitedly, before he bent down towards Sans, "Is- is _that _a human?" He whispered loudly.

"Yes."

"Oh my god!! Sans! I finally did it! Undyne will- I'm gonna- I'll be so- Popular! Popular!! Popular!!!" he shouted, exhilarated. He cleared his throat, standing up straight and pointing at Karkat. "Human! You shall not pass this area! I, the great Papyrus, will stop you! I will then capture you! You will be delivered to the capital! And then... Then...!" he hesitated, shuffling his boots nervously. "I'm not sure what happens next." he admitted, before he shook his head, "In any case! Continue... only if you dare!"

"I'm not a fucking hu-" Karkat started, but Papyrus wasn't listening. He cackled and turned, running off down the road. Sans watched him go, before he turned and looked at Dave and Karkat.

"Well, that went well. Don't sweat it, kid," he addressed this to Karkat, "I'll keep an eye socket out for ya." He winked, before he turned and strolled after his brother. Karkat swore loudly when they were gone.

"Why the fuck does everyone think I'm human?!" He pouted, kicking a rock into the trees, "I'm not a fucking human! This is some species-ist ass bullshit!" He rounded on Dave, "I don't look like you! I've got grey skin and horns, for fucks sake!" Dave sighed, laying his hand on Karkat's shoulder comfortingly.

"I know, babe. I've noticed."

"Why the fuck do they think-"

"Karkles. It's my eyes." That brought the troll up short.

"What?"

"My eyes. Toriel said no one thinks I'm human because of my eyes." He explained patiently. Karkat's face fell, his eyes widening.

"Oh." He went quiet for a moment. "I'm sorry. That must be- I mean I know how long it took you to-"

"It's okay. I'm used to it by now."

"But-"

"It's fine." Dave squeezed his shoulder, just wanting to drop the topic already. Karkat stared up at him, searching his face for a moment.

"I'm sorry." He said again. Dave just shook his head.

"Let's just go, okay?" Karkat nodded, and Dave turned, following after the skeletons. Karkat slid his hand into Dave's, the fuzzy gloves on his hands offering some much appreciated warmth. Dave glanced at their hands, then up at Karkat's neck, where the faded ribbon was still clipped to his sweater. "You look like a fashion disaster." He commented.

"I still look better than your tasteless clothes." Karkat grumbled. Before Dave could think of a retort, a monster hopped onto their path. Karkat stepped forward, his soul shimmering int view as he hit Check:

_Ice Cap- 7 ATK 2 DEF_   
_This teen wonders why it isn't named 'Ice Hat'._

"Snow? No, it's hat residue!" Ice Cap squeaked, before they tipped their head towards them. Icicles burst from their hat and flew towards the waiting troll, who ducked. Dave stepped out of the way to get a better view of their tiny opponent; Ice Cap barely came up to his knees, though their hat reached his hip, easily. The little monster had a big head and a long, pointy noise that spun like a drill. Meanwhile, Karkat punched the Ignore option, turning and pointedly looking away from the monster. Ice Cap frowned unhappily. "What are you doing?" They demanded, launching another icicle barrage. Karkat stepped out of the way, but was caught off guard as the icicles turned and came back like boomerangs.

"Fuck!" he shouted, throwing himself to the ground; they skidded right past him again and vanished. Relieved, he picked himself up and hit Compliment:

-You look lovely!  
-Nice *clothing item*  
-Your claws are so sharp!  
-Your fur is so shiny!

Karkat read the options, then looked up. "Nice hat!" he called. Ice Cap twitched excitedly, before a storm of ice shards shot out of their hat and rained on Karkat from above. The troll threw himself sideways, shouting in pain as he was clipped on the shoulder by a large chunk of frozen water. His HP shrank to 17. Rubbing his aching limb, he turned and hit Ignore again, hoping that was the right move. Ice Cap looked disappointed as they halfheartedly threw another swarm of icicles.

Karkat jumped back, but was struck in the leg; his HP fell to 14 as he slammed his hand on the thankfully now-yellow Spare option. Ice Cap turned and waddled away, dropping 13 coins. Dave scooped them up as Karkat checked his leg.

"You okay?" Dave looked at him and saw the icicle had sliced open Karkat's shin.

"Fan-fucking-tastic. I'll be right back." Karkat grimaced, turning and limping back towards the Save.

While Dave waited, he looked around and noticed a large cardboard box, which had a square cut away to reveal the inside. Two of the flaps on top were propped up against one another to make a roof. He moved closer and saw a messily scrawled note on the bottom:

"**You observe the well-crafted sentry station. Who could have built this, you wonder... I bet it was that very famous Royal Guardsman! (Note: Not yet a very famous Royal Guardsman.)**"

Chuckling, he stepped back as Karkat reappeared.

"What's so funny?" The troll stepped up and read the note, too, before he snorted. "I think that guy is trying to hard." Dave glanced at him.

"Didn't you want to be a guard or some shit back on Alternia? A flesh-executor, or something?" Karkat scowled.

"Threshcutioner." He corrected, "Yeah, I did, but it wasn't like I'd actually get there. I was kinda _illegal_, remember?" He turned and started walking, and Dave paced beside him.

"Ah, so you're a criminal. Maybe Papyrus _should_ take you to the guards or whatever."

"Yup, that's me. The mastermind illegal man." Karkat rolled his eyes, before they both cracked up. They entered the next area, still giggling, and Dave spotted a sign to their left:

"**Absolutely NO MOVING!!!**" it declared. A few feet away from the sign was what looked like a fancy dog house. Scattered around outside it was what looked like scorched dog treats.

"I think our next opponent is a dog." he said quietly. Karkat eyed the scene, nodding in agreement before he slowly edged closer to the dog house. As he stood in front of it to peer inside, a large dalmatian suddenly stuck his head out. Both boys froze as the dog squinted, his eyes searching back and forth; clenched between his teeth was another treat, one end of which was smoking.

"Did something move? Was it my imagination? I can only see moving things. If something _was_ moving... for example, a _human_... I'll make sure it _never_ moves again!" He suddenly leaped out of his little doggy house and onto the road, and Karkat's Soul jumped out to meet him.

The dog was dressed in a white, low-collar tanktop with the picture of a smiling cat on the tummy, and a pair of leopard-print shorts held up by a gold belt, over a pair of socks and sandals. A black collar was clipped around his throat. Clenched in his paws- hands? Dave wondered briefly- was a pair of short swords.

"What was it you were saying about me having bad fashion?" Karkat asked as he reached out to hit Check:

_Doggo- 6 ATk 1 DEF_   
_Easily excited by movement._   
_Hobbies include: Squirrels._

"Dude I take back everything I said about your bad taste." Dave assured him, biting his lip to stifle his laugh.

"Don't move an inch!" Doggo barked as one of his swords turned blue. He flung it in Karkat's direction, and Karkat did as he was told. The sword sheared right through him like a ghost, disappearing behind him and reappearing in Doggo's hand. Karkat let out a breath of relief and hit Pet. He moved forward and he reached out, touching Doggo's fuzzy head before he jumped back. Doggo froze, his eyes wide. "What?! I've been pet!" he gasped excitedly, throwing another sword as he rambled, "Pet? Pet? Pat? Pot? Pit? Pet?!"

Laughing, Karkat saw his name was yellow, and hit Spare. Doggo jumped back into his house, peering out at them.

"Yo, nice." Dave stooped down and scooped up 30 gold from the ground.

"S- S- Something pet me... Something that isn't m- m- moving..." Doggo whined, "I'm gonna need some dog treats for this!" He ducked inside, and Dave heard the click-hiss of a lighter. Karkat's Soul faded as he walked back towards the blonde.

"He was soft." Was all he said as they turned and walked past the house. As they entered the next area, Dave spotted Sans standing nearby, leaning against a tree.

"Hey, man!" He called, approaching. Sans looked up and grinned.

"Heya. I got somethin' important for ya'll to remember." he said.

"Oh shit, lay it on us." Dave invited as Karkat strolled up.

"My brother has a very special attack. If you see a blue attack, don't move and it won't hurt you. Here's an easy way to keep it in mind: Imagine a stop sign. When you see a stop sign, you stop, right? Stop signs are red, so imagine a _blue_ stop sign instead. Simple, right? When you're fighting, think about blue stop signs." He explained. Dave laughed.

"Got it, thanks." He held out a fist and Sans perked up, reaching out and bumping his knuckle bones against Dave's fingers.

"Yup." He chuckled. Dave grinned and turned, leading Karkat away again.

"You guys seem chummy." The troll commented. Dave shrugged.

"He's cool, he-" He broke off with a shriek as his feet went out from under him. He slid across a patch of ice, only to crash into a sign.

"Dave! You okay?!" Karkat called from the edge of the icy area. Dave pushed himself up with a grunt of pain, rubbing his head where it'd slammed into the post.

"I'm fine!" He called back, looking up to read the sign:

**North: Ice**   
**South: Ice**   
**West: Ice**   
**East: Snowdin Town (... and ice)**

Snorting, he stood up and brushed himself off, looking around; he'd slid right into the middle of a large, frozen pond. To his left was another fork in the path, while the road continued ahead of him. Carefully walking around the sign, he turned to face the fork and stepped forward, his arms out for balance.

He glided forward on wobbly feet, but managed to stay upright until he hit the snow. He took two quick hops to stay upright, huffing with relief. Karkat, meanwhile, walked around the frozen plot.

"You okay?" he asked again, concern bright in his grey eyes.

"Yeah, man. Nothing like an impromptu ice-skate to put you in a good mood." Dave grinned, though his head and shoulder were still smarting with pain. Karkat rolled his eyes and turned away, glancing at the fork.

"That way?"

"Yeah."

Taking Karkat's hand so he wouldn't fall over again, he let the troll lead the way. They stepped out onto a cliff that was bare, except for the slightly melted and misshapen snowman who sat facing them.

"Uh, hi?" Karkat tried, unsure if the pile of mush was alive.

"Hello!" It responded cheerily, "I am a snowman. I want to see the world, but I cannot move. If you would be so kind, travelers, please, take a piece of me and bring it very far away." Karkat hesitated, then nodded.

"Sure." he let go of Dave's hand and bent down, scooping a chunk of the snowman's body off, which promptly vanished into their inventory.

"Thank you! Good luck!" The snowman beamed- as much as one could beam with five rocks for a mouth. Waving goodbye, the two of them walked back to the icy patch. Karkat paused to open his phone and read:

_"Snowman Piece"- Heals 45 HP_   
_Please take this to the ends of the earth._

"We should put that in the box, too." Dave suggested as Karkat closed the phone again.

"I will, once we come across another one." Karkat agreed.

From there, they carefully skirted the icy pond and followed the main road again. They walked out onto a wide area that dropped away sharply into darkness on both sides. Before them, the snow had been cleared in a perfect square. Beyond that stood two familiar skeletons.

"You're so lazy!" Papyrus was saying to Sans as they walked up and stopped, "You were napping all night!"

"I think that's called sleeping." Sans rolled his eye sockets, glancing at Dave and Karkat.

"Excuses, excuses!" Papyrus snapped, before he looked over, too. He stiffened, his skull splitting into a grin as he realized the other two were there. "Oh-ho! The human arrives! In order to stop you, my brother and I have created some puzzles! I think you'll find this one... quite shocking!! For you see, this is the invisible electricity maze! When you touch the walls of this maze," He reached into his shorts and pulled out a large, bright blue orb, "this orb will administer a hearty zap! Sound like fun?! Because, the amount of fun you will probably have..." He giggled, "is actually rather small, I think." He shifted his feet, gesturing for them to come closer. "Okay, you can go ahead now!" he invited.

Glancing at Dave, Karkat stepped forward, onto the square. Papyrus squealed as he was suddenly covered in crackling electricity for a moment. Karkat froze, startled, and Papyrus rounded on Sans.

"Sans! What did you do?!" he demanded, stomping his foot in frustration. Sans tipped his skull towards Karkat.

"I think the human has to hold the orb." He pointed out. Papyrus halted, like that thought had just occurred to him.

"Oh... Okay!" He turned and carefully picked his way across the snow; Dave bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from saying anything as he eyed the very obvious footprints the skeleton's giant boots left. Papyrus walked up to Karkat, holding out the orb. "Hold this, please!" He requested, before he reached up and placed the orb directly between Karkat's horns.

Karkat's eyes widened like a spooked cat as the skeleton turned and strode back across his own footprints. "Okay, try now!" he called. Karkat sighed heavily through his nose as began to follow the skeleton's footprints. As he reached the end of it, Papyrus' jawbone fell in surprise. "Incredible! You slippery snail!" he gasped, "You solved it so easily... _too_ easily! However! The next puzzle will not be easy! It is designed by my brother, Sans! You will surely be confounded! I know I am!" He cackled a, "Nyehehehe!" Before turning and racing away, scooping the orb off Karkat's head as he went.

His boyfriend safe, Dave walked right across the clear ground and up to Sans, who was looking around thoughtfully. He grinned as the Strider approached.

"Hey, thanks. My brother seems like he's having fun."

"No problem, man."

"By the way, did you see that weird outfit he's wearing? We made that a few weeks ago for a costume party. He hasn't warn anything else since... keeps calling it his 'battle body'. Man, isn't my brother cool?"

"Sure is." Dave agreed; better than mine was, he added silently to himself. He shared another fistbump with the fat skeleton, then turned and went back to Karkat. "You okay?" He asked the troll, who was staring off in the direction Papyrus had gone.

"He touched my horns." Karkat grumbled, pouting. Dave chuckled and reached out, adjusting his boyfriend's bowtie.

"I don't think he meant to." he told him, pulling the troll close and kissing the top of his head.

"Only you're allowed to touch my horns." Karkat mumbled against his chest. Dave bit his lip, feeling his ears burn.

"Noted. Shall we get going?"

Karkat grumbled something else under his breath and pulled away, stomping off. Dave shoved his hands in his pockets and smiled to himself, strolling after him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ah okay this one got a bit long. I usually cut it off at each save but the snowdin forest part is so long. I just kept writing. oops. well, enjoy.


	10. Chapter 10

The next area they entered was still on a cliff's edge, bare except for a pair of trees and a few stones. Oh, and the ice cream man. Rabbit? Dave glanced at the blue-furred monster, who leaned against his ice cream cart with a dejected look on his face. Past him was a small wooden bridge that connected the cliff to another section of ground. Karkat stepped forward first, heading towards the ice cream cart.

"Hello?"

"I don't understand why these aren't selling; it's the perfect weather for something cold." The ice cream rabbit sighed, before he glanced up, seeming to have just noticed they were there. His ears sprung up as his eyes brightened. "Oh! A customer! Hello! Would you like to buy some Nice Cream? It's the frozen treat that warms your heart! Now just fifteen gold!" He offered eagerly. Karkat dug in his pocket.

"Sure." He counted out fifteen coins and passed them over. The rabbit-man took them and put them in his pocket, before he turned and dug in his cart, producing a popsicle that was heart-shaped.

"Here you go! Have a super-duper day!" He said cheerily. Karkat's lips quirked into a small smile as the treat vanished into his inventory.

"Yeah, you too." He turned away and walked back towards Dave, opening the phone to read:

_"Nice Cream"- Heals 15 HP_   
_Instead of a joke, the wrapper says something nice._

"Aw." Dave snorted. Karkat hummed and shut the phone, leading the way across the small bridge. It creaked and groaned under their weight, but held as they passed over. As he looked up, he noticed Karkat examining an absolutely huge snowball sitting nearby. It had to be three feet across, at least. As he approached it, he noticed Sans leaning against a cluster of trees on the other side. He changed direction and headed for the skeleton.

"I've been thinking about selling treats, too." Sans said conversationally as he walked up, "Want some fried snow? It's only five gold." Dave grinned.

"Fuck yeah, man, lay it on me." Sans' eye sockets widened in surprise.

"Oh- did I say five gold? I meant fifty gold." Dave snorted.

"Sure, okay."

"Really? How about five thousand gold?"

"Dude I'll pay a million gold, I wanna try fried snow." Dave insisted, fighting the urge to laugh. Sans clacked his teeth together thoughtfully.

"Fifty thousand. Final offer." He grinned.

"Deal!" Although he had no eyebrows, Dave got the feeling the skeleton had just raised his in disbelief.

"Really? You don't have the money, do you?"

"Mm... no, I don't." Dave admitted sheepishly. Sans laughed.

"Hey, that's okay. I don't have any snow." He confessed.

Both he and Dave laughed, before Dave heard Karkat shout. He whirled around, alarmed, and ran towards the troll's voice.

"Karkles? You okay?" He called as he caught up. The troll had moved quite a way's away, and was standing next to a hole that had a purple flag sticking out of it. "What happened?" Karkat turned to him, grinning.

"I kicked the giant fucking snowball into that hole." The troll explained, beaming proudly. "Then the flag popped up and it spat out gold." Dave's eyebrows rose.

"Yo, sweet." He looked around thoughtfully. "We should probably get going though." He gestured towards their right, where a path lead away. "That way?" He suggested. Karkat shook his head.

"I saw a route up near Sans, let's check that one first."

"Word." Dave turned and headed back to the skeleton, who hadn't moved; he was staring off into the distance again as the human and troll went by.

They stepped out onto a cliff's edge, where upon two dog houses sat against a dozen or so trees. Between the little huts was a sign:

**"Smell Danger Rating:**   
**-Snow smell- Snowman. WHITE Rating (Can become yellow rating)**   
**-Unsuspicious smell- Puppy. BLUE Rating. (Smell of rolling around)**   
**-Weird Smell- Humans. GREEN Rating. (Destroy at all costs!)"**

"That's very fucking comforting." Karkat muttered. Dave hummed in agreement, stepping closer to examine the huts. Carved along the top of them were the words "His" and "Hers", respectively.

"More dogs, then." He shrugged.

"Yeah. Why does everyone want to get humans, though? Why destroy them?" Karkat asked, still staring at the sign.

"Couldn't tell you, dude, sorry." Dave frowned. Karkat shook his head, sighing, and turned away from the sign, walking back the way they'd come. Dave followed, trying to rub some warmth into his arms; he was wearing short sleeves, and he wasn't layered like Karkat. As they walked back down towards the purple flag, he noticed Karkat had halted next to a large clump of half-frozen mush. "What's up, man?"

"It's another fucking camera." Karkat hissed, pointing at a poorly-hidden video camera that was clicking steadily. Dave swallowed, feeling his skin crawl.

"Someone is watching us."

"Flowey?"

"Maybe."

Karkat's lip curled; he didn't like that. He stomped forward and kicked the camera, sending it flying into a tree, where it smashed apart.

"Fuck you, you stupid flower." He growled, whirling on his heel and stomping off.

"Karks, whoa, hold up!" Dave moved to catch up as Karkat moved on to the next area. As he did, he paused for a moment to observe a carefully sculpted snow-decahedron. That was impressive, he thought as he hurried on.

He drew up short as Karkat suddenly stopped in front of him, and he looked over the troll's shoulder to see Sans and Papyrus standing in front of them, a few feet away. Between the two pairs was a paper laying on the ground. How did Sans get ahead of them? Dave frowned; the skeleton had been doing that a lot, actually, he made a mental note to ask about that. Papyrus suddenly turned to them, grinning.

"Human! I hope you are ready for-" He began, before his gaze flickered around and he turned back to his brother. "Sans! Where's the puzzle?!" he demanded. Sans nodded to the paper.

"It's right there. On the ground." He pointed out, "Trust me, there's no way he can get past this one."

He beckoned Karkat closer, who cautiously approached, clearly trying to figure out the trick. He paused at the paper and looked down, stooping over to pick it up and read. There was silence for several seconds, before Karkat walked back and handed it to Dave, who looked down at the proffered page.

**"Monster Kidz Word Search!"** The title declared. Below that was, indeed, a word search, next to a picture of an ice cube with a dog's face, which had a word bubble that read, **"Hey kids! Can you help me solve this puzzle?"**

Dave took the page, grinning. "I'm keeping this. Wish I had a pen." he folded the paper and stuffed it in his pocket; curiously, he noted that it stayed there, and didn't vanish into the inventory.

"Sans! That didn't do anything!" Papyrus shouted, making the two of them look up.

"Whoops." Sans shrugged, grinning at Dave and Karkat, "I knew I should have used today's crossword instead."

"What?! Crossword?! I can't believe you said that!" Papyrus cried, flabbergasted, "In my opinion, Junior Jumble is easily the hardest!" He crossed his arms over his chest, pouting.

"What? Really, dude? That easy-peasy word scramble? That's for baby-bones." Sans teased. Papyrus made a disgusted noise.

"Un. Believable." he muttered, before he looked up at Karkat, "Human! Settle this dispute! Which is harder, the jumble or crossword?!" He demanded. Karkat looked taken-aback.

"Uh- fuck, I don't-" Sans looked up at his brother, then at Karkat, jerking his head towards the taller skeleton. "The, um, jumble, I guess?" Karkat said finally. Sans nodded, giving the troll a grateful look. Papyrus cackled.

"Haha! Yes! Humans must be very intelligent, if they also find the Junior Jumble so difficult!" He spun on his heel and cackled a, "Nyehehehe!" as he bound away. Sans waited for him to disappear, then turned to Karkat.

"Thanks for saying "Junior Jumble" just to appease my brother. Yesterday he got stumped trying to "solve" the horoscope."

"You're welcome. He knows we've never read your newspapers, though, right?" Karkat pointed out as Dave strolled up.

"Nope!" Sans laughed, "He's still cool, though."

"Oh, absolutely. He seems fun." Dave piped up. Sans grinned, his teeth clacking again.

"Well, best go see what he's up to." He dismissed himself, turning and wandering back the way Dave and Karkat had come. The two of them shared a bemused look with one another before they turned and headed after Papyrus.

The next area they walked into had a very interesting set-up. First of all, a wall of stone jutted several feet into the air on their left, a small hole bored into the bottom, from which Dave could hear the faint sound of squeaking. In front of them was a piece of paper, a square table, and a round table. Placed out on the square table was a perfect plate of spaghetti, which was glazed over with a casing of ice. On the round table was microwave, the cord dangling to the ground. To their right was a Save point. Dave walked over to the paper and read it out loud as Karkat moved to the save.

"**Human! Please enjoy this spaghetti! (Little do you know, this spaghetti is a trap, designed to entice you! You'll be so busy eating it, that you won't realize you aren't progressing! Thoroughly japed again by the great Papyrus!) Nyeh-heh-heh, Papyrus.**" He read. Karkat snorted, turning to look at the frozen spaghetti for a long moment.

"Yup, totally fucking japed." He agreed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm 19 and I still can't spell "spaghetti" without auto correct.


	11. Chapter 11

Dave and Karkat stepped out into- surprise! More woods on the clifftop. The first thing Dave noted, other than the trees and rocks, was a sign to their left:

**"Warning: Dog Marriage!"**

"What the fuck does that mean?" Karkat asked, bewildered.

"The dogs that live in those houses must be around here." Dave shrugged as they walked past it. The ground diverged into two paths here; one way forward, and one way to their right. Karkat took the lead and moved forward, past a cluster of trees and stones. They hadn't gone far, when several figures hurled towards them. Dave's eyebrows rose; it'd been a minute since they'd encountered any monsters, he thought. Karkat stepped up, his soul bursting from his chest as he came to face an Ice Cap, a Snowdrake, and... a something.

It looked a warped potato with a flat body and too-tall head, thin eyes and noodly arms. Both the Ice Cap and Snowdrake looked unhappy that the- thing, was there. Karkat hit Act, where the name Jerry popped up. Clicking Check, he read:

_Jerry- 0ATK 20 DEF_   
_Everyone knows Jerry._   
_Makes attacks 2 seconds longer._

"Where's your hat?" Ice Cap asked as she launched a wave of icicles from her hat.

At the same time, Snowdrake crowed, "_Ice_ to meet you!" As his barrage of frozen claws flew through the air. Karkat yelled as he leaped away from the onslaught, swearing vehemently as he was struck in the chest by one of Snowdrake's claws. His HP fell to 17.

"Wow, you guys suck at this." Jerry drawled. Karkat scowled, hitting Act and Laugh for Snowdrake, who clacked his beak appreciatively.

"Thank you, thank you!" He crowed, before once more tossing an attack; it was much weaker than before, though Ice Cap still went with her full force. Karkat managed to sidestep the whole ordeal and Spared Snowdrake swiftly, who fluttered away.

"Where's your hat?" Ice Cap repeated, as Jerry sighed loudly in exaggerated annoyance. Ducking the giant ice chunks thrown at him, Karkat hit Ignore. Ice Cap frowned, "Hello?? My hat is up here!"

"Guyyys, shush! I'm trying to _think_!" Jerry whined loudly.

"Shut the fuck up!" Karkat snapped at him, his teeth bared as he twisted this way and that to avoid Ice Cap's blows. He angrily hit Jerry's name and the option to Ditch. Jerry suddenly vanished, and Ice Cap looked absolutely elated. Her next attack was much weaker, and Karkat hardly had to move to avoid it. He once more Ignored Ice Cap, who pouted.

"Fine! I don't care!" She snapped as she unleashed a final attack of ice chunks before Karkat hit Spare. She flounced away as Karkat scooped up the 25 gold she dropped.

"Jerry seems like a dick." Dave commented as Karkat's soul faded.

"He was definitely annoying." Karkat took a deep breath and let it out, his breath fogging out in front of him. He glanced around and noticed a mound of snow nearby, with an odd, plastic piece sticking out of it. "Hey, look." He walked towards it, and Dave joined him as the troll brushed the snow away to reveal a switch.

"Oh, nice. Hit it, let's see what it does." Karkat nodded and flicked the switch. A loud thunk sounded from a few feet away, down the right path, and the boys looked at each other, before they hurried off to see what they'd done.

They walked down the road to see it turned to the left, where a grate of spikes had been disarmed, the spikes slid away into the ground. In front of them was a raised part of the ground, cut in a perfect square and covered in a thin layer of snow. Brushing it away, Dave uncovered carvings that looked like a map, with an X over where the switch had been.

"That's helpful." Karkat said sarcastically. Dave shrugged.

"Would've been, if we'd come this way first." he pointed out as they turned and walked past the grate.

The ground came to an abrupt end here, with another wooden bridge laid across the gap. They quickly stepped over it to see the ground turned to the right again. As they wheeled about to face it, both of them stopped at the sight before them.

A pair of large dogs, standing on their hind legs, were walking towards them. They looked like dobermans, Dave guessed, though it was hard to tell due to the executioner-like robes the canines wore. If that wasn't concerning, the fact that they were both carrying giant battle-axes definitely was.

The dogs prowled closer, standing in front of Karkat and sniffing the air.

"What's that smell?" One of them rumbled.

"Where's that smell?" The second one huffed.

"If you're a smell..." The first one- who Dave guessed was a boy- growled.

"Identify your_smell_f!" The second- the female- barked.

The dogs suddenly turned and prowled around the troll, who couldn't seem to move. One of the dogs moved towards Dave, who backed away quickly. The dog sniffed him thoughtfully, then turned back to Karkat.

"Hm... Here's that weird smell..." The dog's muzzle peeled back to reveal gleaming teeth, "Makes me want to... eliminate." He snarled.

"Eliminate you!" The female snapped before they both stepped forward. Karkat hissed and leaped back, his Soul once more emerging as the dogs threw back their hoods and raised their blades.

"You're on!" He growled right back, only to draw up short as the two dogs turned and kissed each other. He quickly shook his head and hit Act, where the names Dogamy and Dogaressa were offered. He hesitated, then hit Check on Dogamy:

_Dogamy- 6 ATK 4 DEF_   
_Husband of Dogaressa._   
_Knows only what he smells._

"Let's kick human tail!" Dogamy howled.

"Do humans _have_ tails?" Dogaressa asked curiously, before they both kissed their paws and flung their arms out towards Karkat. From the pads of their paws, burst an array of glowing hearts. Some of them were blue, some where white. Karkat was too busy dodging the whites to hold still for the blues, and was subsequently struck by one, which burned against his shoulder. He swore, his HP dropping to 15. He hesitated, then hit Check on Dogaressa:

_Dogaressa- 6 ATK 4 DEF_   
_This puppy finds her hubby lovely. SMELLS ONLY?_

"Take my wife... 's fleas." Dogamy barked.

"Don't actually!" Dogaressa huffed, before both dogs lunged for the troll, their teeth bared and blades swinging. Karkat threw himself to the side, but the dogs whirled around and struck him at the same time.

He screamed as their blades sheared through his shoulder and side, his blood splattering the snow as his HP fell to 9.

"Karkat!" Dave cried out, horrified as Karkat crumpled to the ground, twitching and writhing in pain. He ran to his boyfriend, his heart thundering with fear. Karkat whimpered in pain as he tried to rise, his blood staining his sweater and the snow beneath him.

Dave looked up at the dogs, who had frozen, ears alert as they stared at him. Dave hesitated, then hit Item and grabbed the Nice Cream, ripping the wrapper off and shoving it into Karkat's mouth. Looking down, he saw Karkat's wounds glow golden for a moment before they vanished, completely healed over. The troll pushed himself up, gasping with relief.

"Holy fuck-" He croaked, tears tracking down his dirt and snow smeared face. He shakily got to his feet, with Dave right beside him.

"Are you okay?" He asked anxiously. Karkat nodded wordlessly, grimacing.

"I'll be fine- thanks." He rasped, brushing Dave aside as he stepped forward. He thought for a moment, then hit Re-smell, to see what that would do. The dogs moved closer, their blades lowered, and sniffed him.

"What?! You smell like a-" Dogamy huffed.

"Are you actually a little puppy?" Dogaressa gasped, her ears pricking in alarm.

Before Karkat could answer, they lunged for him. He was ready this time, ducking under the swinging blades and leaping back to avoid the second pass. He panted, hesitating before he hit Pet and reached out, rubbing Dogamy's head.

"What! Pet by another pup!" Dogamy cried, his tail wagging furiously.

"Don't leave me out!" Dogaressa whined as she lunged for the troll. Karkat managed to avoid her first swing, but didn't have his feet under him as she came back around, the blunt back of her ax slamming into his back. He bellowed in pain and was sent sprawling across the ground. Groaning, he rolled over and punched Pet, before he reached up and rubbed her snout as he got to his feet. Dave glanced anxiously at his HP; it had fallen all the way to 11.

"A dog that pets dogs! Amazing!" Dogaressa woofed as she and Dogamy once more barraged the troll with hearts. He stepped into the blue hearts and froze, letting them rush past. It was with ultimate relief that Karkat saw their names in yellow. He hit Spare, still trembling in pain from his hits. The dogs instantly backed down and Karkat's Soul vanished as he slumped to his knees.

"Dogs can pet other dogs?" Dogamy rumbled, his eyes wide.

"A new world has opened up for us!" Dogaressa barked.

"Thanks, weird puppy!" Dogamy woofed, before the dogs turned and bound away. As soon as they were out of sight, Dave ran to Karkat, who had managed to scoop up the dropped gold from where he knelt in the snow. He dropped to his knees in front of the troll, looking him over anxiously.

"... Karks?" He asked hesitantly. Karkat only whined, slumping forward onto Dave's shoulder. Dave instantly wrapped his arms around him, pulling him close.

"That fucking hurt." the troll mumbled. Dave laid his chin between his horns, rubbing his boyfriend's back comfortingly. "Was that what fucking boss battle is like here?"

"Maybe?" Dave shrugged, "They seemed more like... mini bosses." Karkat whined unhappily.

"You're dealing with the boss of this area."

"Fair enough."

"I wanna go home."

Dave sighed heavily. "I know, dude. Me too." He pulled back and Karkat raised his head. Dave smiled gently and reached up, brushing away the dirt and dampness from the troll's cheeks. Karkat closed his eyes for a moment, a gravely purr starting in his throat. "Ready to keep going?" Dave asked gently.

"I wanna go back to the Save, first."

"Fair enough." He repeated as he pulled away and helped the other to his feet, pausing to kiss his cheek before they turned and headed back. Ignoring the spaghetti trap, Karkat made right for the Save Point while Dave waited. Once the glow had faded, he and Karkat turned, walking back across everything and entering the next area.

It was set up in an obvious puzzle; several rocks had been deliberately set out in a pattern like an H. On either side of the line was a pressure plate with a bright blue X blinking on it, with a button to the left and a sign on the right. Dave stepped forward to read the sign:

"**Turn every X into an O, then press the switch.**" He read, before he glanced around and noticed a line of spikes to his right. Standing just on the other side of said spikes was none other than Papyrus, who was very obviously trying not to watch them.

Karkat looked around, before he walked over to the nearest X and stomped on it. The X blinked, and turned into a red O. He walked around the stones and stomped on the other one, then walked up to the switch and hit it. The Os turned green and the spikes slid away. Rejoining each other on the other side of the puzzle, the two boys approached the skeleton, who turned around to face them.

"What? How did you avoid my trap?" He gasped, before he shifted uncomfortably, "And... more importantly... is there any left for me?" he asked hopefully. Dave leaned towards Karkat.

"I think he means his spaghetti." He whispered. Karkat nodded shortly.

"Yeah, there's plenty." He answered, and watched Papyrus' skull lift with delight.

"Really? Wowie- you resisted the flavor of my homemade pasta, just so you could share with me?" He put a gloved hand over his heart, looking genuinely touched. Karkat bit his lip to bite back his amused smile.

"Yeah, sure. That." He nodded. Papyrus nodded thoughtfully, before he straightened up.

"Fret not, human! I, master chef Papyrus, will make you all the pasta you could ever want! Heh heh heh nyeh!" He vowed as he spun on his heel and raced away. Dave burst out laughing as soon as he was gone.

"Looks like you've got a new friend, Karks." He grinned. Karkat rolled his eyes as they strolled after the tall skeleton.

"Uh-huh. I get the tall loudmouth and you get the laid back jokester."

"Works for me."

Karkat just sighed. As they approached the next section of the woods, Dave saw Papyrus standing nearby, looking down at the trees below the cliff. He nudged Karkat and nodded towards the skeleton. Karkat shot him a look and walked over to him. Papyrus looked up at the sound of the troll's footsteps.

"My brother started a sock collection recently." he said conversationally, for once not shouting, "How saddening, isn't it? I sometimes wonder what he would do without such a cool guy looking out for him? Nyeheheh!" Karkat stuffed one hand into his pocket, nodding.

"I wonder that, too." He said, jerking a thumb back towards Dave, "I'd probably be dead without my cool guy."

Dave blinked, taken aback, and felt his ear tips burn with embarrassment. He cleared his throat awkwardly and looked away as he heard Papyrus say, "See? You get it!" Karkat chuckled and walked back towards the blonde, stopping when he noticed his expression.

"What? It's true." He muttered as they turned and kept walking. Dave swallowed, an embarrassed grin crawling across his face.

"Uh. Yeah. Well, right back at you." He said, his voice cracking. Karkat snorted as they walked up to another puzzle. It was just like the last one, spikes and all, except with many more X-plates in a bizarre pattern. As they stood, observing it, they heard footsteps approach behind them.

"Human!" Papyrus called, making them both glance back. He stepped up beside them, "Hm... how do I say this..." he muttered, going quiet for a moment before he continued, "You were taking a long time to arrive, so I decided to improve this puzzle by arranging the snow to look more like my face. Unfortunately, the snow froze to the ground. Now the solution is different! And, as usual, my lazy brother is nowhere around. I suppose what I'm saying is, worry not, human! I, the great Papyrus, will solve this conundrum! Then we can both proceed! Meanwhile, feel free to try the puzzle yourself! I'll try not to give away the answer!"

Karkat and Dave looked at one another.

"My turn?" Dave guessed. Karkat nodded.

"Your turn." he agreed. Dave snorted and stepped into the puzzle, looking around carefully.

He began to step from one plate to the next, turning them into Os. He danced across several of them, before he realized the problem; he'd have to double back over a few. He poked one of the Os with his foot, and frowned in dismay as it turned into a green triangle.

"Right." He sucked air between his teeth, stepping out of the puzzle and hitting the switch. The lights reverted back and he started over, going from a different angle. Again, he was forced to step over Os and messed up. He tried again, and again, all resulting in the same problem.

"Hey, Dave!" Karkat suddenly called, making him look up; the troll was standing next to one of the pine trees, looking up at something. Dave skirted the puzzle and approached him.

"What's up?" Karkat pointed up at a switch, hidden by the branches.

"There's a switch here, too."

"Oh, sweet. Hit it." Dave grinned. Karkat stretched up and pressed it. Nothing happened. Dave glanced back at the puzzle, but nothing had changed there. Hesitantly, he walked over to the switch beside the puzzle and pressed it. His eyebrows shot up as all the circles turned green and the spikes on the far side vanished.

"Wow! You solved it!" Papyrus cried, grinning, "And you did it all without my help- incredible! I'm impressed! You must care about puzzles like I do!"

Karkat glanced at Dave, then shrugged. "Yeah, I guess. They're kinda fun." He admitted. Papyrus clapped his hands excitedly.

"Well, I'm sure you'll love the next puzzle, then! It might even be too easy for you! Nyehehehe!" With that cackle, he turned and dashed away.

Karkat and Dave wordlessly went to follow him, and Dave perked up as he saw Sans had arrived, standing on the other side of the grate of spikes. He sped up.

"Hey, Sans!" he called, making the skeleton look up. Sans grinned, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

"Heya. Good job on solving it so quickly." He greeted the blonde, "You didn't even need my help- which is great, because I love doing nothing." Dave snorted.

"Oh, mood. Though it was mostly Karks doing the work." He admitted. Sans blinked.

"Karks?" he repeated.

"Me." Karkat stepped up. Sans looked up at him, surprised.

"Oh, right, I never did ask your names. Sorry." He apologized.

"Well, I'm Dave, and this is Karkat." Dave introduced them both. Sans hummed.

"Nice ta meet ya. Again." He chuckled.

All three of them paused at the sound of a loud "Nyehehehehe!" up ahead. Sans huffed with amusement.

"Better go see what he's up to. Catch ya later!" he called as he walked across the spiky grate and back towards the puzzle.

Dave and Karkat watched him go, both of them blinking in confusion.

"How does he-?" Karkat started.

"No fucking clue." Dave answered, before he turned away. "Let's go see what they're doing, though."


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry there was no update yesterday, I was working on another project!  
Also, I want to say a big thank you to all my readers, because we have reached over 1,000 hits and over 100 kudos on this story! I can't thank ya'll enough for all the wonderful comments and your continuous patience. From the bottom of my heart, it means the absolute world to me. Thank you all so, so much. I hope I can continue to live up to your expectations, and more!

"What they were doing" turned out to be a bewilderingly odd looking puzzle. Dave and Karkat stopped before a wide, square expanse of grey tiles. On the other side was Papyrus and Sans, standing next to a square, boxy machine with a red-paneled face. The skeletons had been quietly conversing, but both looked up at the boy's arrival.

"Hey! It's the human, and Dave! You're going to love this puzzle! It was made by the great Dr. Alphys! You see these tiles? Once I throw this switch," he gestured to the machine beside him, "they will begin to change color!"

"Okay, neat. Why?" Dave eyed the tiles, wondering what the catch was.

"Each color has a different function," Papyrus explained, "Red tiles are impassable, you cannot walk on them! Yellow tiles are electric, they will electrocute you! Green tiles are alarm tiles; if you step on them, you will have to fight a monster! Orange tiles are orange-scented- they'll make you smell delicious! Blue tiles are water tiles; swim through if you like, but if you smell like oranges, the piranhas will bite you! Also, if a blue tile is next to a yellow tile, the water will also zap you!"

"Wait, fuck, slow down-" Karkat interjected, struggling to keep up.

"Purple tiles are slippery!" Papyrus continued without pause, "You will slide to the next tile! However, the slippery soap smells like lemons, which piranhas do _not_ like! Purple and blue are okay! Finally, pink tiles! They don't do anything, so step on them all you like! How was that? Do you understand?"

"No! That's too many, how the fuck-" Karkat cried, exasperated. He pursed his lips and took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"I got it." Dave said, turning to the troll, "Reds are no-go, yellows zap ya, greens start a fight, orange is orange, blue's got the bitey boys, and if you smell like orange bitey boys go for you. Yellow plus blue makes a double zap, purples are lemon soap, and the bitey boys don't like that. Pinks don't do shit." He listed. Karkat stared at him, baffled.

"How the hell did you memorize that?"

Dave shrugged. "I got the memory for this shit, I guess." He grinned. Karkat sighed.

"Okay. Red, yellow, blue, and green are bad, right? Blue and orange is bad, blue and _yellow_ is bad, but blue and _purple_ are fine. Pinks don't do shit. Did I get all that?"

"Sounds about right."

Karkat nodded, sighing again as he turned back to the skeletons. "Okay, yeah, do it." He called.

"Great! Then, there's one last thing," Papyrus beamed, "this puzzle is entirely random! When I pull this switch, it will make a puzzle that has never been seen before! Not even I will know the solution! Nyehehehe! Get ready!"

Karkat took a deep breath and braced his feet, getting ready to run. He was suddenly tense, his shoulders hunched and his arms drawn up. Papyrus turned and hit the switch, and the tiles lit up, blinking several different colors as they randomized. The lights threw colors against Karkat's face as it went slack with despair when the colors only got faster and faster, before with a flash, they settled.

There was silence for ten dead seconds as the four of them stared. The puzzle had come up as a red stripe, a pink stripe, then another red; it was perfectly passable where the boys stood.

"Oh my god." Dave whispered, doing everything in his power to hold back his laugh. He glanced up at Papyrus, who was, for once, absolutely expressionless. He turned on his heel and marched away. All the tension left Karkat's body, a look of disbelief and disappointment mingling on his face.

"Oh. I was-" He frowned, then glanced up as Papyrus disappeared. "Papyrus, no, wait!" He called, running across the tiles after the tall skeleton.

"Whoa, Karks, hold up!" Dave hurried after him, but paused when he noticed Sans was still standing nearby, looking at the machine thoughtfully.

"What just happened?" Dave asked him. Sans shrugged.

"The pattern came up in your favor, I guess." Dave frowned, before Sans continued, "You know, that spaghetti from earlier..."

"What about it?"

"It wasn't too bad a job for my brother. Since he started cooking lessons, he's been improving a lot. I bet if he keeps it up, next year he'll even make something edible." He grinned. Dave snorted.

"At least your brother can cook. Mine could burn water." He joked. Sans' brow rose.

"You got a big bro, too?"

"I did, he, uh. Wasn't that great, you know? Dude was like, the opposite of Papyrus, I guess. Nega-Papyrus."

"Oh. Shit, sorry about that." Sans said sincerely. Dave waved a hand dismissively.

"It's not a big deal; I ain't even bothered, my guy. I'm gonna go catch up to Karkles, I'll catch you later." he offered a fist to the skeleton, who bumped his knuckle bones against his fingers.

"See ya." Sans agreed, turning back to the machine as Dave walked off.

The next area had another dog house, Dave noted as he approached. There was also a little dog- a Pomeranian- dressed in a suit of armor. He was standing in front of a mound of snow, staring at it with a severe intensity. Beyond him, was another Save Point, beside which Karkat was standing. Picking up the pace, he made his way towards the troll and noticed a sign by the doggy house:

"**AWARE OF DOG! Pleas pet dog.**" It declared. Shaking his head in amusement, he walked up to Karkat, who was messing with his cellphone.

"Hey, you okay?" He asked as he walked up.

"I wanted to talk to Papyrus." Karkat said as he opened his inventory, "He seemed upset about the puzzle, so I thought I should- Only somehow, despite possessing literally zero fucking muscles, he outran me. I saw the Save and decided to wait on you here."

They only had the Toy Knife, Spider Donut, and Snowman Piece in their inventory.

"We need more items." Dave noted.

"I'm not walking all the way back to the Nice Cream guy." Karkat pouted.

"Nah, there's probably somethin' else around here." Dave shook his head, "That was nice of you, though, to try and go after Paps." Karkat grunted noncommittally.

"I guess. Did you talk to Sans?"

"Yeah, it wasn't anything important, though. You ready to roll?"

"Yeah." Karkat closed the phone and stuffed it in his pocket. As they turned to walk away, Dave's eye was caught by a deer standing nearby, dressed in a bright purple and green sweater, and violet pants. He turned and walked up to him.

"That dog considers himself an artist, but doesn't ever know what to create. It probably doesn't help that its brain is the size of a piece of kibble." The deer hummed.

"That's rather rude." Karkat said loudly from where he stood on the path. The deer scowled as Dave turned away again.

They kept moving, only to arrive at another one of the puzzles with the X tiles. Except this puzzle was set in the middle of a swath of ice, with the switch on the far side. To their right, the path took a sharp decline downwards.

"Puzzle or hill?" Dave asked.

"Hill first." Karkat turned and headed down the decline, and Dave brought up the rear. They walked down to a small, snow-covered clearing where a pair of snowy figurines stood. Walking around to face it, the boys both laughed at what they saw.

One of the figurines was a beautifully, masterfully carved likeness of Papyrus, with exaggerated muscles and abs as the statue flexed. Red paint had colored his cape so it stood out. The other was nothing more than a lump of snow with the name "Sans" sprayed on it in red.

"How long do you think it took them to make these?" Dave chuckled.

"Thirty minutes, and thirty seconds." Karkat snorted, glancing around; there was nothing else in the area, so he headed back up the hill. Taking one last glance at the statue and lump, Dave followed. They stood in front of the puzzle again, Karkat tapping his chin thoughtfully.

"Got any ideas, bro?" Dave asked him; he could practically hear the gears in Karkat's head working as the troll paced in front of the ice.

"I think if we start from- wait, no, fuck, because... hit that one, then... fuck, but- okay, so... Hm." Was the troll's disjointed answer. Dave bit the inside of his cheek, sitting down in the snow as Karkat continued muttering under his breath. He put his chin in his hand, watching his boyfriend pace.

He's so fucking cute, he caught himself thinking as he watched Karkat's face scrunch up in concentration. The troll finally clapped his hands together once, turning to Dave.

"I think I got it!" he announced.

"Fucking sweet, babe. Do it up." Dave grinned. Karkat nodded, turning and stepping onto the ice. With his arms out for balance, he glided forward, towards the nearest X. He stomped on it and turned, gliding to the next. Then the next, and next, until he had gone around the icy patch and hit all of them. He stood on the last O, looking around with satisfaction before he turned and slid over to the switch, hitting it with his foot.

The Os turned green and he crossed his arms, looking smug as Dave got to his feet and skated out to meet him. Karkat caught him around the waist so he wouldn't fall, and Dave grabbed the troll's shoulders, using his momentum to land a surprise kiss on the troll's lips.

"Nice going, Karks." He grinned. The troll preened under his praise, puffing out his chest proudly. They both turned around at the several loud thumps behind them. Where the ice patch had suddenly ended, a bridge of more ice appeared, leading away into a densely packed cluster of trees. Karkat took Dave's hand and coasted forward, Dave right behind him.

It went dark around them, the trees blocking out all light for a moment, and they skated blindly until they emerged from the trees and stumbled off the ice and onto solid ground again. Karkat looked up at Dave, before he burst out laughing.

"You've got snow on your head." he pointed out, reaching up and brushing the wet clumps out of the blonde's hair. Dave snorted and shook his head like a dog.

"Thanks." He looked up and saw the path once again diverged into two options; downhill and forward. "We headin' down again?" he guessed as Karkat looked around, too.

"Yeah."

They turned and headed down the hill, a wall of stone rising on their right as they went further. They turned to the right, around the wall, and both halted as they nearly crashed into Sans. The skeleton looked up and grinned.

"What's up?" He asked.

"Nothing much, just checking the place out, man." Dave answered. Sans nodded, jerking his head towards the wall.

"You see the eyes?"

"The what?" Dave and Karkat moved past the skeleton and stepped back. Sure enough, peeking through the holes in the wall, were several pairs of eyes that blinked at them.

"Okay, _fuck that_." Karkat muttered, turning away. As he did so, a monster burst out of the hole to confront them. Dave stepped up this time, his Soul flaring into existence.

The monster looked like a fucked-up deer; there wasn't really any other way to describe it. Instead of a regular mouth it had straight up mandibles, like an insect, with razor-like teeth that gnashed together. His eyes were huge and bloodshot, popping out of his skull. At the base of his horns was a second, smaller pair of eyes that were milky white. His horns looked like pine trees, shaking as he bobbed his head back and forth. Most peculiar was all the little decorations on him. Dave hit Check:

_Gyftrot- 7 ATK 3 DEF_   
_Some teens "decorated" it as a prank._

"Get this off me..." The gyftrot pleaded, before he spat several large objects that looked like Christmas gifts covered in slime. Dave ducked them and ran forward to help.

"I've gotcha, big guy." He assured the creature as he knocked a pack of raisins off its back.

"That's a little better..." It sighed, before opening his mouth and spitting shards of ice. Dave swerved to avoid them, but he was too close to the Gyftrot to move properly; he got hit twice, knocking his HP down to 12.

"Ow! Dude, jesus, I'm trying to help!" He cried as he reached up and yanked a bookmark off one of his horns.

"Much better." Gyftrot hummed, his mandibles clacking before he spat out more of the gifts. Dave once again avoided them with ease and stepped forward, untangling a sticky candy cane from his other horn. The Gyftrot sighed happily. "A weight has been lifted..." He murmured.

Dave readied for an attack, but none came. Checking, he saw the creature's name was yellow, and he hit Spare. The Gyftrot dropped twenty coins as he turned and galloped away. Rubbing his chest, where it was still aching from the ice shards, Dave scooped up the gold as his soul faded. He turned and saw Karkat had walked to the end of the cliff. Turning to follow, he noticed Sans had moved, too, and was standing closer to Karkat; Dave hadn't noticed him go by during the fight.

He moved closer to the two of them, Sans nodding to him as he went by. As he approached, he noticed a large opening in the wall, like a cave; one thing at a time, though.

"Karks? Whatcha lookin' at?" Dave asked. Karkat was on the very edge of the cliff, and the troll pointed down into the valley far below. It was more of the frozen forest, but in a large clearing stood a little house, the windows bright and smoke pouring out of the chimney. As they watched, a tiny figure walked out of the house, paced around the front for a moment, then disappeared inside again.

"It's been going on for a while." Karkat said quietly.

"Weird." Dave hummed.

"Definitely." The troll turned around and headed for the cave entrance. "Let's see what's in here." he suggested as he went by. Dave turned to follow him.

They stepped inside, and goosebumps instantly broke out on Dave's arms; any noises suddenly went dead, the temperature suddenly warm and inviting around them. It was dark, aside from a pale blue glow up ahead and a handful of fireflies that hummed silently through the air.

"What is this place?" Dave whispered, his voice sounding empty and small in the heavy air.

Karkat just shook his head and moved forward slowly. They approached the glowing light and found a grassy patch of ground, covered in four clumps of mushrooms; it was the mushrooms that were giving off the pale blue light. On the wall before them was a rotting, wooden door. Karkat reached out and pushed it, seeing as there was no handle, but it didn't budge. Engraved on the old wood was the strange runes Dave had noticed back in the Ruins.

"I don't like this. Can we go?" He asked finally. Karkat nodded and turned away; their pace was a little faster as they retreated, stepping back out into the cold. They walked past the wall- Sans had vanished again, Dave noted idly- and back up the hill. Dave let out a breath, watching it fog in the air for a moment.

"I don't get this place." Karkat said finally, looking around. "Everything is just... weird."

"Good weird or bad weird?" Dave asked. Karkat scrunched up his face in thought for a moment.

"I'm withholding judgement on that part for the moment, but I'll let you know." He said finally, turning towards the path, "Let's go see what other weird stuff is ahead."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wouldn't have cut that last chapter where I did if I'd known how close to the save I was...


	13. Chapter 13

They stepped out into a snowy field. To their left was a tiny dog house, in front of which, spaced out randomly, large mounds of fluffy snow were piled up.

"Nope." Karkat turned to walk back the way they'd come, but Dave grabbed his arm.

"What's up?"

"No more fucking dogs. I'm done. I've been nearly killed by three of them already, I'm not fucking around with any more. Fuck, I might not be able to face Jade again for a fucking month once we get out of here." Karkat huffed, crossing his arms. Dave pushed down the urge to laugh.

"It's cool, man. I'll take the lead, okay? I'll deal with any dogs we come across." Dave soothed, slipping his hand down the troll's arm to take his hand. Karkat grumbled, but turned back.

"Fine." He relented. Dave turned and began to lead him through the minefield of snow piles, stopping to examine each one. "What are these?" Karkat asked, kicking one. It exploded in a puff of snow flurries and collapsed.

"No clue." Dave glanced at the dog house as they passed, and saw a sign posted to the right of it:

"**Woof**." was all it said.

They walked by it, and a glimmer in one of the mounds at the end of field caught Dave's eye. He walked over and pushed the mound aside to reveal thirty gold coins.

"Yo, sweet." he picked them up and pocketed them, looking around. There was one snow mound left, suspiciously set apart from the rest. He glanced at Karkat, who grimaced. Dave squeezed his fingers gently before he let go and walked over to it, nudging it with his foot. With a flurry of snow, a little tail stuck out the back of the mound. The snow in front of him shimmered, and the snow covered face of a pomeranian poked out, barely the height of Dave's shin, with big round eyes that blinked at him. The pup yipped twice, its tail wagging furiously. "Aw, Karks, look, it's-" He started, before the rest of the mound exploded.

Dave leaped back quickly, horrified as the supposed puppy suddenly grew much, much taller. The pomeranian pup was dressed in a full suit of an armor that made her an eight foo tall, hulking giant. She grinned, and a spear- with an adorable dog face on the end- appeared in her paw.

Dave's Soul burst forth to meet her as he heard Karkat say, "Okay, what the _ever_ _loving fuck?_" He snorted, reaching out to hit Check:

_Greater Dog- 6 ATK 4 DEF_   
_It's so excited that it thinks fighting is just play._

The Greater Dog barked loudly, her barks like sonic booms that hurled towards Dave, physically rippling the air. He jumped away in the nick of time.

"Okay, so you just wanna play, right? I can do that." He huffed, hitting Beckon.

The Greater Dog perked up and dropped to all fours, bounding towards him with drool flying from her maw. She woofed excitedly, her attacks much closer this time. He dropped to the ground to avoid them, and she nearly bowled him over as a result. She manged to stop in front of him as he picked himself back up and hit Play.

She growled, clearly unenthused about this. She stood back up and grabbed her spear, charging him; her spear flashed blue and white. He froze, praying it would just go through him, but no such luck. It turned white at the last second as she swung, slamming it into his side. He bellowed in pain as he was sent flying through the air, crashing into a snow mound; his HP fell to 8 as he laid there, stunned, his ears ringing.

Distantly, Dave heard Karkat shouting, and felt hands on him. He blinked furiously as he snapped back into focus and saw the troll staring down at him.

"Are you okay?" Karkat repeated worriedly. Dave took a deep breath, relieved to find that his ribs didn't feel broken; they hurt like a bitch and he'd be bruised as all hell, but nothing was broken.

"Am I bleeding?" He asked weakly. Karkat glanced over him, then shook his head.

"No, why?"

"Just checking." He groaned as he heaved himself to his feet. He stumbled, suddenly dizzy, and Karkat caught him.

"Do you want me to take over?" He asked. Dave shook his head, taking another deep breath.

"Nah, man, I got it." He assured him. He pulled away and limped back towards the Greater Dog, who's tail began thumping wildly. "Okay, big girl, you got me this time." Dave muttered.

The pain in his side slowly began fading as he reached up and hit Pet. Greater Dog whined and bobbed closer, rubbing her big head against his belly. Dave snorted, sitting down and scratching her ears. She clambered awkwardly into his lap, demanding more pets. As he continued, her eyes slowly drifted shut and she began snoring loudly. He bit his lip, glancing up at Karkat.

"Wish I had a camera." Karkat muttered. At his voice, Greater Dog's head shot up and she barked. Leaping off Dave's lap, she bound around in an excited circle, still barking, as Dave cried out in pain, grabbing his thighs from where she'd pushed off of him.

"Jesus Christ on cracker, that fucking hurt-" He wheezed, glancing up at Greater Dog, who had turned around with her spear again. "Oh, fuck fuck fuck-!" He leaped to his feet and ran. She bound after him, and he felt the spear shear through him, thankfully blue as he froze up. His breath whooshed out and he grabbed his chest in relief. He turned around and saw the giant pup waiting, patting the ground excitedly with her front paws.

He pressed Play, praying this would be the less painful option. She stared at him attentively, waiting for him to do something. Lacking any sort of doggy toy, he bent down and scooped up snow, packing it into a ball and chucking it as far as he could. Barking excitedly, she raced after it. She jumped on it with her front paws, before she dropped her spear and gathered as much snow as she could into her arms and began running back.

"Wait no, stop, bad d-" Dave started, his eyes wide as the Greater Dog dropped her giant armful of snow on him. He collapsed under it with shout, and heard Karkat burst out laughing.

As Dave clawed out of the pile, his clothes soaked and body shivering, he saw Karkat doubled over and wheezing, his face red from laughing so hard.

"Oh my fucking _god_-" He wheezed, giggling. Dave huffed, but couldn't stop the grin that crawled across his face from seeing his boyfriend in such high spirits.

"Oh, yeah?" He called, grabbing the snow and packing it into another ball, before he flung it at the troll, where it splattered against his shoulder. Karkat's head jerked up in shock. He glanced at Greater Dog, then turned and began packing his own snowball.

"You shithead- finish your fucking fight, I'm gonna-" he swore under his breath as Dave got to his feet.

The blonde chuckled and turned back to Greater Dog. She'd laid down, her jaws stretching wide in a yawn. Dave walked over to her and sat beside her, Petting her head gently. She rumbled appreciatively, halfheartedly barking at him, which he only had to lean away to avoid. He kept going, and she rolled onto her back with a final woof of satisfaction. Dave glanced up and saw her name in yellow. He hit Spare.

She moved away and stood up, before wriggling out of her armor. Once again a tiny pup, she jumped in his lap and licked his face, before turning and hopping back in the armor. Her rump sticking out of the neck and tail wagging furiously, the armor turned and marched away, dropping forty gold.

Dave wiped the dog slobber off his cheek, before he flopped back into the snow with a relieved groan, closing his eyes for a moment. He heard Karkat shift around to gather the coins, and he opened his eyes to see the troll standing over him, hands clasped behind his back.

"Are you dead?" He asked.

"Nah. Grim reaper said I was too sexy to die yet." Dave smirked.

"Okay, good." Karkat pulled his arms around to reveal the snowball he was holding, which he promptly dropped on Dave's chest; it splattered across his shirt and face, making him splutter. "There, now we're even." The troll grinned as Dave sat up and wiped the snow off. The blonde paused and looked at the clump of snow in his hand.

"Aw, dude, you got your white stuff all over me!" He whined, absolutely delighted as Karkat's face fell with horror. His cheeks turned red and he looked away.

"Oh my fucking god, shut the fuck up- you- what the fuck-" he stammered, making Dave howl with laughter. The human fell back into the snow, snickering, and didn't stop, even when Karkat kicked snow on him. When he finally got his breath back, he pushed himself to his feet and brushed himself off. Karkat huffed at him through his nose, his face screwed up as he tried not to laugh. "I hate you." He pouted. Dave grinned and kissed his cheek.

"I know, babe. Ready to go?"

Karkat grumbled and pushed him away, before glancing him over. "Do you want to head back to the save, first?"

Dave shook his head. "Nah, there's probably one up ahead, right? We're a good bit away from the other one by now. I can keep going." He assured him. Karkat looked doubtful, but nodded and took his hand, leading the way forward.

The cliff abruptly ended before them, with only a thin, wooden bridge that swung and creaked quietly.

"Oh, well, _that's_ a comforting sight." Karkat growled sarcastically.

Dave felt compelled to agree; the bridge didn't look like it would hold one of them, much less both. He looked down at his free hand; if he had his powers, he could just fly them over, but- he tried to activate them again, but once more that blue energy crackled around his palm and nullified it. He tried to reach his Sylledex, and found that ability was still gone; he felt weird without his powers, like he'd had a limb chopped off. It made him feel vulnerable. "Okay, fuck it, we respawn, right? Let's do it." Karkat said finally, making him look up.

The troll started forward, the bridge groaning as he stepped out onto it. He edged his way along, and Dave followed slowly, tensing at every loud groan and creak of the old wood. To its credit, the bridge held, and soon they were out over an abyss. Daringly, Dave looked down and saw the forest stretching out below them, completely dark. He collided with Karkat's back, and looked up sharply to see the troll had stopped.

Looking over his shoulder revealed the sight of the end of the bridge. Standing next to it, on the edge of the cliff, were Sans and Papyrus. Papyrus stepped forward, his expression grim.

"Human!" He called across the chasm, "This is your final and most dangerous challenge! Behold, the Gauntlet of Deadly Terror!" he pulled a small remote out of his pocket and hit the button. Out of the cliff side burst all sorts of objects on mechanical arms; blades, maces, a cannon, and even a fucking _flamethrower_. There was also a dog, rotating slowly on a string tied around its middle.

"Holy fuck-" Karkat stepped back, alarmed.

"When I say the word, it will fully activate! Cannons will fire! Spikes will swing! Blades will slice! Each part will swing violently up and down! Only the tiniest chance of victory will remain!"

"Papyrus, hang on-!" Karkat cried.

"Are you ready? Because! I! Am! About! To do it!" He positioned his finger over the button dramatically. Karkat whimpered, swallowing, and Dave squeezed his hand, his heart suddenly pounding in his ears. He wrapped his arms around Karkat protectively and pressed his nose to his shoulder. Karkat grabbed his arms, and Dave could feel him trembling.

Papyrus stared at them, and Dave saw his hand waver slightly. There was silence for seconds on end, during which Dave could only hear the drumming of his own heartbeat, before Sans looked up.

"Well? What's the hold up?" He asked.

"Hold up?! What hold up?! I'm... I'm about to activate it, now!" Papyrus scowled, though even as he dropped his hand, he paused at the last second and pulled back. Sans glanced around at all the weapons.

"That, uh, doesn't look very activated." he pointed out.

"Well!" Papyrus snapped, a bit too loudly, before he swallowed, "This challenge... It seems, maybe... A bit too easy to defeat the human with." He said lamely. He hesitated, then stood up straight. "Yeah! We can't use this one! I am a skeleton with standards! My puzzles are very fair! And my traps are expertly cooked! But this method is too direct, no class at all! Away it goes!" He cried. At his words, the mechanical arms folded back into the cliff, and he stuck the remote back in his pocket, turning around. "Phew." He muttered, before he turned back. "Make no mistake, human! This was another decisive victory for Papyrus! Nyeh! Heh! ... Heh?" He turned and stormed away.

Instantly, both boys relaxed, Karkat turning around to face Dave and slumping against his shoulder, still shaking as he clutched Dave's shirt.

"I thought he was going to kill us." The troll rasped. Dave held him close, only nodding. Karkat suddenly went rigid under his grip and he raised his head. "What was- did you see that?" He asked, staring past Dave, who turned around. Looking back across the bridge, he saw nothing but the snowy cliff and their footprints.

"No... what was it?" He asked, the other boy's words uncomfortably familiar.

"I thought-" He lowered his voice, "I thought I saw that fucking flower." Dave glanced behind himself again, but the cliff was still bare. Suppressing a shudder, he nudged Karkat away.

"Let's just get off this fucking bridge, okay? One thing at a time." He encouraged gently. Karkat took a deep breath and nodded, turning away. Grabbing his hand again, they finally made it to the end of the bridge, where Sans was still standing. When Dave met his eye, he tipped his skull to the side.

"I don't know what my brother is going to do now. ... If I were you, I would make sure I understood blue attacks." He said. Dave and Karkat glanced at each other.

"Are we going to fight Papyrus?" Karkat asked, eyes wide. Sans said nothing, clenched his jaw and turned on his heel, walking away.

"I really fucking hope not." Dave answered him as he turned to follow the skeleton. Karkat hummed unhappily, but his noises were quickly cut off as they stopped before a large, twinkling sign:

"**WELCOME TO SNOWDIN TOWN!!**"


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this chapter took so long, I really wanted to capture Snowdin in all its glory. The next two chapters might be slow coming, too, because... well, you know.

"Holy fuck." Karkat breathed as they moved past the sign.

Spread before them was a small, twinkling town, washed in warm colors. Gentle music played from speakers, mounted on the buildings, as monsters mingled in the street, the air filled with the smell of cooking food and wood smoke. The whole place just had an air of happiness, of contentment, Dave thought, a painful pang in his chest as he thought of home. The building closest to them- a wood-paneled, cozy looking place with snow on the roof- had a sign above the door that simply dubbed the building as "**Shop**", conjoined with a second building marked "**Inn**". Between the two buildings was a small hall to connect them; and in front of those, was a box and Save Point.

The boys quickly made their way towards it, and Karkat deposited the Snowman Piece and Toy Knife into the box before he Saved. Both of them were surrounded by the golden light, and Dave suddenly felt refreshed, his ribs no longer aching. He didn't even feel cold anymore, and assumed his HP had been restored. Suddenly energized, he bounced on his toes as Karkat turned to him.

"Let's see what good shit they've got, dude." He suggested, jerking his head towards the shop. Karkat just nodded and moved towards the door, pushing it open. Dave followed, noting his boyfriend's lack of enthusiasm.

They stepped into a lovely little store that smelled like cinnamon and lemons. It was lit up by a crackling fire to their left and array of candles, which warmed the room up nicely. Behind a bar stood a large rabbit woman in a sunhat and tank top, with pale purple fur. She was bent over the bar, working on a crossword puzzle, when they stepped inside. She looked up sharply and stood, greeting them with a gentle smile.

"Welcome, travelers. How can I help you?" She asked politely, in a distinctly british accent, before an option box popped up in front of the boys:

-Buy  
-Sell  
-Talk  
-Exit

Karkat hesitated, then hit Talk:

-Say hello  
-What to do here  
-Town history  
-Your life

"Hello." He said sullenly, glancing up at the rabbit. She beamed at him.

"Hiya! Welcome to Snowdin! I can't remember the last time I saw a fresh face around here. Where did you come from? The capital? You don't look like tourists." She chattered amicably.

"It's... uh, a long story." Dave answered her, glancing at the list of topics again, "What is there to do around here?"

"You want to know what to do here in Snowdin? Well, Grillby's has food, and the library has information. If you're tired, you can take a nap at the Inn; it's right next door, my sister runs it. And if you're bored, you can sit outside and watch those wacky skeletons do their thing. There's two of 'em... brothers, I think. They just showed up one day and... asserted themselves. The town has gotten a lot more interesting since then." She explained, chuckling.

"Yeah? What about the town's history?" Dave asked, leaning on the bar and settling in for a chat. Karkat, disgruntled, turned away to look around instead. The rabbit woman laughed.

"Think back to your history class, little monster." She chided, "A long time ago, us monsters lived in the Ruins back there in the forest. Long story short, we all decided to leave the Ruins and head for the end of the caverns. Along the way, some fuzzy folk decided they liked the cold and set up camp in Snowdin. Oh, but don't think about trying to explore the Ruins. The door's been locked for ages; unless you're a ghost or can burrow under the door, forget about it." Dave bit the inside of his cheek.

"Noted. What about your life?"

"Life is the same as usual." She shrugged, "A little claustrophobic, but we all know deep down that freedom is coming, don't we? As long as we got that hope, we can grit our teeth and face the same struggles, day after day. That's life, ain't it?" She smiled sadly.

"Amen." Dave nodded, before he pressed Exit and switched to Buy. The rabbit turned and grabbed something from behind the counter, before she presented several objects on the bar in front of him.

There was another pair of Tough Gloves, a Manly Bandanna, a Bisicle, and a Cinnamon Bun, each with a little tag that explained what they did:

Tough Glove- 50G.  
Weapon: 5 ATK (+0 ATK)  
Slap 'em.

Manly Bandanna- 50G  
Armor: 7 DEF (+4 DEF)  
It has abs on it.

Bisicle- 15G  
Heals 11 HP x2  
Eat it twice!

Cinnamon Bun- 25G  
Heals 22 HP  
It's my own recipe.

"Fucking sweet." Dave grinned. In quick succession, he bought a Manly Bandanna, three Bisicles, and and three Cinnamon Buns; coupled with the Spider Donut, he filled up their inventory. He then clicked back and Exit.

"Bye, now! Come again!" The bunny woman hummed, turning and putting the objects back. Dave walked over to Karkat, who was examining jars of herbs and other baubles.

"Hey, man. You okay?" Dave asked him, gently taking his hand and leading him outside again. Karkat sighed as they stepped out into the cold, his breath fogging in front of him.

"Not really." The troll admitted, "Kinda fucked up about the whole Papyrus thing."

"Yeah, me too, but it'll be fine, dude. We haven't had to kill anyone yet, I'm sure there's a way we can talk him out of it." Dave assured him. Karkat frowned as he thought about this, then nodded slowly.

"Okay. Fine." Dave pulled him closer and kissed his cheek.

"Cheer up, babe. Check our Items, I got you something." He urged. Karkat rolled his eyes, but did so, opening their inventory. Dave pulled out the Manly Bandanna and held it out, snickering. Karkat stared at it.

"I am not wearing that." He insisted instantly.

"Aw, come on, man. Look, it's better armor than your ribbon. Here." He reached up and unclipped the Faded Ribbon from around Karkat's throat, then took his wrist and tied the bandanna around it. "There ya go, you look sexy."

Karkat rolled his eyes, but begrudgingly kept the bandanna on. Dave beamed, turning away to keep going. Karkat followed, pausing to put the Faded Ribbon into the box. They walked up to the doors of the Inn and ducked inside.

The lobby was small, but cheery; classical music played from an old radio on the counter. A roughed-up couch sat to their right. In front of them was a counter, behind which stood another rabbit lady, although she had pink fur and was much thinner than her sister, dressed in a blue and yellow sundress. Next to her, peering over the counter, was a tiny bunny kid. As they approached, the kid pulled himself up slightly to look at them.

"Mom said sleeping can recover your health above your maximum HP." He squeaked, before he frowned. "What's maximum HP?" Dave and Karkat glanced at one another as the woman piped up.

"Welcome to Snowed Inn! Snowdin's premier hotel! One night is eighty gold!" She chirped. Dave sighed.

"Fuck, uh... we don't have the money, ma'am." He explained, rubbing the back of his neck. Her cheery smile fell into a look of concern, her eyebrows creasing.

"... You don't even have eighty gold? Oh, you poor things, I can only imagine what you've both been through. One of the rooms upstairs is empty; you can sleep up there for free, okay?" She said gently, walking around the counter and motioning for them to follow.

"Do we... even need to sleep?" Dave whispered under his breath as they followed her. "I haven't really felt tired unless my HP is low; have you?" Karkat shook his head as they climbed the steps.

"Not really... How long have we even been here?"

Dave sighed. "Couldn't tell ya, man. My powers are still being shit."

The woman stopped in front of a door and unlocked it, motioning them in.

"Here you are, little ones! Enjoy!" She chirped, before walking back down the stairs.

Dave and Karkat stepped into the room to look around. There was a single, twin bed, a round bedside table, a desk, and a tall lamp in the corner. Dave walked over and flopped onto the bed with a sigh; the bed was plush and warm, and he practically sank into it. He rolled over to make room as Karkat hopped onto it with him. The boys laid there for a moment, blinking at each other.

"This isn't so-" Karkat began, before a loud rumble ripped through the air. Both of them froze, before Dave sat up and looked around as a second one started. "What the fuck is that?" Karkat whispered, his voice nearly drowned out by the next growl.

"I think... our neighbors are snoring." Dave said, frowning. Karkat sighed, rolling over and sitting up.

"Okay, fuck this, I'm not gonna be able to sleep like this." He got off the bed and headed for the door. Dave followed, casting one last longing glance at the bed as he shut the door and headed downstairs. The rabbit woman looked up as they came down.

"Hiya! You look like you had a great sleep!" She said cheerily, "Which is incredible, because you were only up there for about five minutes. Feel free to come back if you get tired!" Dave waved in acknowledgement as they headed for the door.

"We will, thanks!" He called as they stepped back outside. He stuffed his hands in his pockets, looking around, before they continued down the street. Next to the Inn was a little igloo, with a sign posted beside it:

"**Don't want to walk to the other side of town? Try the undersnow tunnels! They're efficiently laid out.**"

Dave moved closer and peered into the igloo; he could hear a faint _whoosh_ of air passing through it. He glanced at Karkat, who shook his head.

"I'd rather not." He answered Dave's silent question.

The human nodded and walked away, towards where a white-furred rabbit man leaned against his doorway, his arms crossed as he stared at a rabbit lady in a green dress, who stood across the street. Beyond them, bizarrely enough, stood a large Christmas tree, next to which a big, blue-furred bear in an orange jumper was kneeling. Dave glanced between them, before turning to the male rabbit.

"You good, man?" He asked. The rabbit's ear twitched.

"That lady over there..." He said in a low voice, "something about her disturbs me."

Dave turned to looked at the woman again, and realized what he meant; she had a Cinnamon Bun on a leash, giggling over it like it was a puppy. He looked over at Karkat, who twirled his finger next to his head and whistled like a cuckoo bird. Dave walked over to the woman, who glanced up at him, her face splitting into a grin.

"Isn't my little Cinnamon just the cutest? Bun-buns are so adorable... Teehee!" She chirped. Dave looked down at the Cinnamon Bunny again; the pastry was designed to look like a little rabbit, with a frosting nose and pair of eyes.

"Uh... Yeah." He quickly moved away, and Karkat caught up to him as they approached the Christmas tree. As they walked around it, they saw the bear was delicately organizing a bunch of presents underneath it.

"What are you doing that for?" Karkat asked, pausing to look up at the blinking lights in the tree.

"Awful teens tormented a local monster by decorating its tree-like horns. So we started giving that monster presents to make it feel better. Now it's tradition to put presents under a decorated tree." He explained. Dave looked down at the gifts; some of them were marked as "From: Santa", addressed to who he assumed was the locals.

"That's pretty sweet of ya'll. I'm sure Gyftrot appreciated it." He hummed. As they walked away, a young kid- who looked like a tiny, yellow dragon, dressed in a striped yellow poncho- popped out from behind the tree and approached Karkat.

"Yo!" They squeaked, "You're a kid too, right?" Karkat paused and turned to them, blinking in confusion.

"I'm-"

"I can tell because you're wearing a sweater! I wonder if that weird skeleton is an adult or a kid." Karkat looked down at his sweater; it was the one he always wore, with his sign emblazoned on his chest.

"I don't- how does that thought process track?" He asked, puzzled, "I'm eighteen, first of all, so no, I'm not a kid. Second, I just like sweaters." He crossed his arms over himself. The kid blinked.

"Oh, I get that! Sweaters are cool!" They agreed, before they bounced away again. Karkat looked at Dave, who'd stopped to watch their interaction.

"Dude didn't have any arms, did you see that?" He whispered. Karkat snorted, nodding.

They turned away from the tree and came to face a large, red-brick building with a large window, from which an "**Open**" sign blinked. Above that was a larger sign that announced the place as "**Grillby's**." A potted plant sat near the door, the flowers covered in snow. Finally, a chubby brown bear stood by the windows, dressed in an orange jacket with a toothpick in his mouth. He glanced up as they approached and waved a big paw in greeting.

"You know, this town doesn't have a mayor." he informed them without prompting, "But if there's ever a problem, a skeleton will tell a fish lady about it. Thaaaaat's politics!" He guffawed.

"A fish lady?" Dave echoed, curious. The bear only nodded.

"Politics." He said again; clearly not going to say anything more, the boys stepped away. Dave paused by the door to the restaurant.

"Do you want to go in?" He asked Karkat, peering through the stained glass, "They might have items for sale inside."

"Sure, why not." Karkat grabbed the handle and pulled open the door, letting Dave go first and following behind.

They were greeted with a blast of warm air, and the smell of grease and booze. The restaurant was crowded and kinda dingy, dimly lit by lanterns and neon lights along the walls. One such light spelled out "Grillby's" in an obnoxious purple, next to an insignia of a martini glass in teal. Despite the dismal appearance, the place seemed well kept and clean, the room filled with chatter and laughter that only paused for a moment at the boy's arrival. At the other side of the room was a bar- complete with a rack of booze bottles mounted on the wall- behind which stood a man made of fire, dressed in a rather snazzy suit and spectacles. He was polishing a mug, and Dave guessed he must be Grillby.

Dave scanned the rest of the crowd, and picked out a few familiar faces. Around a table in front of them sat Dogamy, Dogaressa, Doggo, and Greater Dog, who appeared to be playing cards with one another. To their right, slumped over a booth, was a tan-furred bunny, who was clutching a bottle in her paw; several more empty bottles lay scattered on the table. In the next booth over was what appeared to be a large, yellow plant, with a mouth full of gashing teeth. Sitting at the bar, leaning against one another, was a pink-feathered bird, who appeared to be asleep, and a rather ugly fish-man in a jumpsuit. To their left was a small pomeranian in armor, who was playing cards alone, next to an abandoned dog bowl full of kibble. Finally, to the far right of the bar, next to a jukebox, was a horse in a tracksuit and shades.

"Wow." Was all Dave could think to say as they moved further inside. The drunk bunny raised her head as they approached, her bottle nearly falling out of her grasp. The blonde quickly stepped forward and righted it without thinking. The bunny stared at him.

"No matter where I go, it's the same menu, the same people... Help! I want new drinks an' h- h- hot guys!" She slurred, before she paused and looked over her shoulder. She slumped back over the table again, mumbling, "I guess the bartender is kinda h- h- hot..." Dave chuckled, moving her drink away from the edge of the table.

"You should see if he's single." He suggested. Meanwhile, Karkat had cautiously approached the table of dogs, who all turned to him.

"Uh, hi?" He said uncertainly, tensing up slightly.

"Better watch where you sit down in here, weird pup." Dogamy said, as casual as could be, "Because that big gal will jump in your lap and give you lots of love and attention." He nodded to Greater Dog, who woofed.

"Yeah, I know, she nearly mauled my boyfriend." Karkat pointed out. Dogamy huffed with amusement.

"She didn't mean it." He assured the troll, his tail thumping. Karkat turned away, taking a deep breath as he approached Dogaressa; Dave could see him relaxing now that the dogs weren't actively trying to kill him.

"We're sentries, but we never get any respect." Dogaressa was whining, her ears drooping as she stared at her cards, "I wish those skeletons would throw us a bone. We love bones."

"I'll ask Sans if you can gnaw on his leg." Dave offered jokingly, glancing at her cards; she was holding a jack, a three of spades, and the rules card. He bit the inside of his cheek to stop himself from laughing, and walked over to Greater Dog, who wasn't even playing with her cards properly; the pomeranian was trying to stack them like a house of cards. She looked up as he approached and barked excitedly, making her cards fall down again. She froze, startled, and turned to quickly put them back up. "Nice to see you, too, big girl." Dave told her, reaching up and rubbing her head. She rumbled appreciatively, and he heard her tail thud against the inside of her armor. He turned and began walking towards the plant to see what the deal was with it, as Karkat moved towards Doggo.

"I'm thinking of getting a spiked collar to show off my personality." Doggo told the troll, clenching a smoking dog treat between his claws, "It makes a statement like... "Attach a leash to me and take me for a walk, please.""

Karkat was so glad Dave was across the room, sure that the human would have something to say about that. He himself only nodded and moved towards the final dog, which didn't react to his presence, intent on his game of cards with himself. The troll was dismayed to see he appeared to be losing, and quickly moved to rejoin Dave. As he stepped up, the plant turned blindly in his direction.

"Hm..." It gurgled, "Isn't human food different from monster food? It does things like "spoil", and when you eat it, it passes all the way through your body. Disgusting... I'd love to try it some time. And I've heard they have things called "bathrooms."" Karkat shared an alarmed look with Dave.

"Ya'll don't have bathrooms?" Dave asked.

"Well, I don't." The plant bubbled, "I don't exactly need one."

"Fair enough."

The boys turned away and approached the bar, making the bird open his eyes and speak up. "Those dogs are part of the Royal Guard, the elite military group led by Undyne. She's rude, loud, and beats up everybody who gets in her way... It's no wonder all the kids want to be like her when they grow up!" Karkat moved closer to Dave, who leaned down to listen.

"It sounds like he was describing this world's Vriska, doesn't it?" the troll muttered.

"My first thought was Terezi, but yeah." Dave snorted, making Karkat snicker. Dave turned and looked at the fish-man, who seemed to realize it was his turn to speak.

"I "put out a line" for some girls today. Someone told me there are plenty of fish in the sea. Well, I'm taking that seriously. I'm literally going to make out with a fish." He drawled. Dave blinked, before it clicked.

"Wait, that was your fishing pole back in the forest!" He exclaimed. The fish-man nodded.

"I guess I could ask out Undyne, but I think she likes someone already." He hummed, before he turned away.

Clearly dismissed, Dave turned and wandered towards the horse, while Karkat paused to speak with Grillby. The horse was tapping his hoof to the music, his neon-green mane flopping about as he bobbed his head. He peered at Dave over his shades.

"The capital's gettin' purdy crowded, so I've heard they're goin' to start movin' here. I don't wanna see the erasure of our local culture, but I definitely wanna to see some city slickers slip onto their butts." He nickered in a thick country accent.

"Oh, I understand completely. Ya'll've got so much ice, I've fallen down a time or two myself." Dave told him, momentarily slipping into his old Texan accent. The horse snorted, pleased, and went back to jamming to the music. Dave turned to look for Karkat, and saw the troll motioning him over. He quickly made his way towards him, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm ready to go." The troll said, "They don't sell anything here." Dave nodded.

"A'ight, let's head out, then." They headed for the door, and once more stepped out into the cold, turning away to continue down the street. As they passed the restaurant, they came across an interesting duo: The first was a little, purple mouse, absolutely buried in a too-big, green scarf. The second was what looked like a puppet in a poncho, with Xs for eyes and devil horns. "How's it going, ya'll?" Dave greeted them. The mouse sighed.

"Everyone is always laughing and cracking jokes, trying to forget our modern crises... Dreariness, crowding, lack of sunlight... I would join them, but I'm just not very funny." He wrinkled his little mouse nose, "At least I'm not making puns."

"You are a saving grace among pun-loving savages." Karkat told him, only half joking.

"We all know the underground has problems," The puppet spoke up, in a deep, snarling voice that made both boys jump, "but we smile anyways. Why? We can't do anything, so why be morose about it?" His mouth stretched into an unnerving grin.

"Uh-huh." Dave agreed, grabbing Karkat's hand and moving along quickly. Past the two creatures, the road suddenly split to the left, and Dave swung towards the fork, just to put some distance between them and the creepy puppet.

They walked up to a small area, where a house stood on their left, and a small, fenced off tower stood to the right. They watched as, with a loud droning and clattering noise, the tower spat out an ice cube onto a conveyor belt. At the end of said belt stood a large grey wolf, with a broad chest and thick arms. He grabbed the ice cube, his claws scratching unpleasantly on the sides as he heaved it up, over his head, and turned towards the river that flowed behind him. With a grunt, he heaved the ice block into the water and watched it float away, as the tower started to clatter again.

"What's he doing that for?" Karkat asked. Dave only shrugged.

"Couldn't tell ya, bro." He said, turning away to go check out the house. Scattered in front of the little residence was a trio of rocks... who were talking.

"Let's play humans and monsters!" A small, greenish stone with a tiny, red baseball cap on was saying.

"You aren't going to make me be the human again, are you?" A second, grey pebble whined.

"Ah, to be young again... The world sure felt boundless." A large rock rumbled; Dave noted with some amusement that the rock had a fake mustache taped to it. He glanced at the house, before the two of them turned away and kept following the path.

It lead them out to the river; presumably the same one the wolf was tossing ice cubes into. The water rushed past silently, its depths dark. Seeing nothing of interest, both boys turned back. They walked past the house and tower, and out to the main street again, hooking a left to move away from the puppet and mouse, who were still chatting about the abysmal state of their lives.

They came upon the next building, which had a sign above the door that read "**Librarby**."

"Librarby." Karkat repeated aloud.

"Librarby." Dave echoed with a chuckle; he liked how it sounded. The librarby was a long, low, brick building with bright windows. "Wanna go in?" Dave suggested. Karkat nodded and Dave pulled open the door, ducking inside with Karkat at his heels.

Inside was nothing more than a small room, the back wall full of shelves that were stuffed with books. To their left was a counter, behind which stood a green lizard woman in a thick sweater. Clustered around a low, wooden table in the middle of the room was a trio of female monsters; a green cat who was smoking a cigarette, a yellow dinosaur with a Karen-esque haircut, and a Loox, with too much blush on either side of her eye.

"Welcome to the library." The green lizard said as the door swung shut, "Yes, we know, the sign is misspelled." Dave nodded and returned the greeting as Karkat made for the books at the back. While the troll perused the options, Dave made his way to the lady monsters to see what they were doing, the three of them bent over something on the table. As he got closer, he saw it was a bunch of scattered newspapers.

"I love working on the newspaper," The dinosaur sighed happily, "there's so little to report that we just fill it with comics and games." The Loox suddenly turned to Dave and stared at him.

"That look in your eye..." She rumbled, "You're someone who has difficulty solving the Junior Jumble, aren't you?" Dave shrugged.

"Dunno, I've never tried it." He told her, glancing up as the cat started coughing.

"When I was younger, my teachers gave me word searches when they ran out of assignments. I thought they were a waste of time, but look at me now! I'm the number one word search creator in the entire underground!" She rasped. Dave nodded, before he suddenly remembered something.

"Oh, yeah!" He pulled the word search out of his pocket and unfolded it, glancing at Karkat as he did so; the troll had his nose stuck in a book. Seeing as he had time to kill, Dave sat at the table and smoothed out the word search, glancing at the ladies. "Ya'll got a pen?" He asked. The dinosaur passed one over and he thanked her, before he got to work.

There was silence for a while as Dave messed around with the puzzle and Karkat explored the books; it was peaceful, a nice break from everything that had been going on, Dave thought. Feeling suddenly whimsical, the human doodled a Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff in the corner of his word search. The Loox moved closer to blink at his drawing.

"What's that?" She asked.

"Oh, uh... they're characters for a comic I used to write." Dave explained.

"You write comics, too?" The dinosaur gasped excitedly, all three ladies suddenly looking at his doodle with interest.

"Wanna write one for the paper?" The cat croaked, offering him a blank sheet of paper. Dave's eyes widened.

"Can I?"

"Sure, go ahead!" The Loox grinned, bouncing on her feet excitedly. Dave smiled and took the paper, pushing his word search away. He paused for a moment to think, then began drawing, the three monsters watching him intently. When he finished, he signed it and pushed it back towards them.

"Here, what do you think?" He asked.

The comic was amazingly simple, nothing like the usual absurd humor he wrote. Still drawn in his regular, messy style, he simply had Hella Jeff and Sweet Bro telling a dumb joke he'd read in one of John's prank books: "Why couldn't the pony sing a lullaby?" "Why?" "She was a little horse!" All three ladies burst out laughing.

"Delightful! Oh, it's going right on the front page!" The dinosaur beamed at him. Dave felt his cheeks get hot and he rubbed the back of his neck, embarrassed.

"Oh, shit, uh, thanks." He grinned.

"Dave? Can you come here a second?" Karkat suddenly called across the room. Dave looked up to see his boyfriend still holding a book, frowning at the pages. He excused himself and got up, walking over to him.

"What's up, bro?"

Karkat looked up at him, then turned the book around and pointed at a passage:

"_While monsters are mostly made of magic, humans are mostly made of water. Humans, with their physical forms, are far stronger than us. But they will never know the joy of expressing themselves through magic. Love, hope, compassion... this is what people say monster Souls are made of. But the absolute nature of a "Soul" is unknown. After all, humans have proven their Souls don't need these things to exist. Because they are made of magic, monsters' bodies are attuned to their Soul. If a monster doesn't want to fight, its defenses weaken. And the crueler the intentions of our enemies, the more their attack will hurt us. Therefore, if a powerful Soul struck with the desire to kill..._" The passage ended there.

Dave looked up at Karkat, who was watching him with wide, scared eyes.

"I really fucking hope you're right about being able to talk Papyrus out of a fight." The troll whispered, "Because I don't like what the other option implies."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An extra long chapter, just for ya'll.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> h-

The two boys left the library, both silent as they focused on their own thoughts.

Past the library, they came across the last two buildings in Snowdin; A large, two story house, and a garden shed, between which stood another igloo. The house was brightly lit with Christmas lights, and even had a wreath on the door. Posted out in front of it were two mailboxes, one labeled "Sans" and the other "Papyrus". Sans' mailbox was overflowing, stuffed with letters and packages, while Papyrus' looked empty.

"I guess this is their hive." Karkat said, looking up at the building.

"Yeah. Weird that they got Christmas stuff up in June." Dave commented. Karkat shrugged.

"It's an eternal winter down here, I guess. No reason to take them down and potentially break your fucking neck when you slip off the roof." He grumbled.

Dave nodded, squeezing his hand gently. They walked past the house and the shed. Through the trees that lined the road, Dave could hear the river rushing by. He glanced through the pines and watched one of the ice blocks bob past. Both boys stopped at the same time and looked back at Snowdin.

"You ready, dude?" Dave asked. Karkat hesitated, chewing on his lip.

"Yeah. I think so." The troll took a deep breath and turned to face forward again, determinedly taking a step forward, and Dave matched him for each step.

As they walked down the road, a fog began to slip towards them; it ghosted by as nothing more than faint wisps at first, but it quickly grew heavier and thicker, a white smog that blotted out their surroundings. The sounds of their footsteps and the river became muted, and Dave could barely see a few inches in front of him. He shifted his hand and tangled his fingers with Karkat's so they wouldn't separate.

"What the fuck is this?" Karkat hissed, swatting at the fog before them, his voice much too loud in the dead air.

"I dunno, but keep your guard up." Dave muttered, his free hand clenched tightly at his side.

The fog became impossibly thick; even though Karkat was right beside him, much of the troll's body was obscured. Dave could only see him from his waist and upwards, a billow of fog passing between them and momentarily hiding the troll's face. They were absolutely swallowed in a world of silent white, and Dave could feel his skin crawl; it was too quiet, he thought, before he was suddenly jerked to a halt by Karkat's hand. He jerked his head up to see the troll had frozen, staring through the smog. Dave followed his gaze.

Standing in front of them, nothing more than a silhouette where the fog began to thin, was Papyrus. Dave knew that figure anywhere. He quickly stepped up and put himself between Karkat and the skeleton, his arm out to keep the troll back. Neither troll nor skeleton moved, like he wasn't even there.

"... Human," Papyrus began finally, "allow me to tell you about some complex feelings. Feelings like... the joy of finding another pasta lover. The admiration for another's puzzle-solving skills. The desire to have a cool, smart person think you are cool. These feelings..." He took a deep breath, "They must be what you are feeling right now! I can hardly imagine what it must be like to feel this way. After all, I am very great. I don't ever wonder what having lots of friends is like. I pity you, lonely human..."

"What the fuck?" Karkat whispered.

"Worry not!" Papyrus cried, "You shall be lonely no longer! I, the great Papyrus, will be your- ..." The skeleton suddenly turned his back to them, "... No. No, this is all wrong! I can't be your friend!" Dave saw him reach up and hug himself, shaking his skull furiously, "You are a human! I must capture you!" He whirled back around; Dave could actually see him now, the fog beginning to dissipate, "Then, I can fulfill my lifelong dream! Powerful! Popular! Prestigious! That's Papyrus! The newest member of the Royal Guard!" He cried, stepping forward, one hand on his chest. Dave heard Karkat sigh behind him, before the troll forced his arm down and stepped forward.

"Karks-" Dave began, but Karkat looked back at him.

"Zip it. I got this." He said shortly, taking another step towards the skeleton. His Soul burst forth, his boxes shimmering to life before him as Dave watched helplessly.

Karkat looked up at the tall skeleton, reaching up and hitting Check:

_Papyrus- 8 ATK 2 DEF_   
_He likes to say: "Nyehehe!"_

"Nyehehe!" Papyrus cackled, before he swept his arm forward. A trio of bones, no bigger than Karkat's hand, shot towards him, skimming over the ground. He barely had to jump to avoid them as he hit Act. The only options presented to him were Flirt and Insult; he didn't want to do either, he thought, but hit Flirt since it was the nicer option, and an option box appeared:

-Hey, sexy!  
-Hi there, cutie.  
-Your tentacles are so pretty!  
-Oh, such beautiful fangs!  
-I must say, your fur is quite fluffy!

Karkat felt his will to live leave his body. There was no way he could say any of these! He glanced back at Dave.

"I am so sorry." He mouthed, before he turned back around. He ducked his head for a moment to gather himself, then stood up straight and beamed at Papyrus, "Hi there, cutie!" He called will false-cheeriness. Dave's jaw fell open behind him, the blonde having to clap his hands over his mouth to stop himself from laughing. Papyrus seemed stunned, too, his cheekbones suddenly tinted pink.

"What? Fl- flirting?! So you finally reveal your _ultimate feelings_! W- well, I'm a skeleton with very high standards!" He crossed his arms and looked away like an embarrassed schoolgirl.

I literally have a fucking boyfriend, Karkat thought, rolling his eyes. "Well, that's fine. I don't exactly have any redeeming qualities." He said aloud. Papyrus gaped at him.

"Oh no!" He wailed, "That humility- it reminds me of... myself! You're meeting all of my standards!" He shook his head, flustered, and stomped his foot, "W- we can date later! After I capture you!" He cried, launching another trio of bones that Karkat once more stepped over. Resigning him to the most awkward conversation that he could see looming on the horizon, he hit Flirt again and repeated the fourth one. "Oh no!" Papyrus cried again, "We can date _later!!_" Easily stepping over his next attack, Karkat switched to Mercy and hit Spare, hoping that was the right move. Papyrus paused. "So you won't fight...? Then, let's see if you can handle my fabled "blue attack"!" He cried, before he thrust both palms forward.

Dozens of bones, surrounded in a blue light, launched towards the troll. Karkat threw his arms up to shield himself and froze as the bones sheared through him harmlessly. They disappeared behind him and he let out a relieved breath.

Only to yelp as he was suddenly pushed to the ground, like a giant hand had shoved him. Looking up in alarm, he saw his Soul had changed color and fallen to the ground in front of him.

"You're blue now! That's my attack! Nyehehehehehe!" Papyrus crowed. Karkat struggled to rise; he felt like there was a boulder on his back, forcing him to the ground. He could rise no further than his hands and knees, the weight too great.

"Karkat?" Dave called anxiously, watching his boyfriend squirm. Karkat ignored him, shakily reaching out and hitting Spare again.

"Hm... I wonder what I should wear..." Papyrus wondered aloud, before he thrust his hand out.

Karkat screeched in pain as, instead of appearing from Papyrus' hand, bones ruptured from the ground and jabbed at his arms and legs. He rolled to the side, panicked, and saw his HP had fallen to 14. He managed to hit Spare again, and looked up to see Papyrus pull a little jar of his pocket, dabbing his gloved hand into it and smearing the goo behind his jaw; where his ears would be. The skeleton waved a hand and more bones appeared, gliding low over the ground.

Karkat, adrenaline rushing through his veins, managed to momentarily forget the great weight on him and leaped over the bones, before crashing back to his knees. A final bone rushed towards him, but he could do little more than just let it slam into him, his HP dropping to 11. He groaned and doubled over in pain; he was already sweating and exhausted. He felt like he couldn't breathe with the heavy weight on his shoulders.

Desperately, he reached for his Items and pulled out a Cinnamon Bun. It appeared in his hands, still warm and steaming in the cold air, and he shoved it into his mouth. Spicy, sweet, cinnamon flavor burst in his mouth and he watched his HP fill back up.

"Just so you know!" Papyrus called, pulling a second jar out of his pocket, "I'm _not_ thinking about that date thing!" He shoved the first jar back into his pocket and unscrewed the new one. "So don't make me use my Special Attack!" He swat his hand through the air, summoning more bones that rocketed towards the troll, both in the air and on the ground this time.

Letting a whimper out of his throat, Karkat tried to jump over the bones on the ground and was struck in the face by one of the bones in the air. He shouted in pain as he was sent sprawling onto his back, his HP dropping to 17. He reached up and felt his face; he wasn't bleeding, but the left side where the bone had struck him was stinging. At least bones don't cut, he thought, but he was sure as hell going to be bruised when this was over.

Gritting his teeth, he sat up and punched Spare.

"I can almost taste my future popularity!" Papyrus crowed, once more pulling out another jar and rubbing its substance behind where his ear holes were as his bones flew towards the battered troll. Karkat rolled out of the way, managing to catch his breath as a blue bone cut through him.

"Fuck!" He shouted as a single, last bone flew at him from behind, striking him in the shoulder; his HP was once more at 14. Snarling, he punched Spare.

"Papyrus! Head of the Royal Guard!" The skeleton boasted, "or, Papyrus: Unparalleled spaghetore!" The next attack was absolutely brutal, nothing but a blur of bones as Karkat desperately tried to avoid it all. By the time it stopped, his HP was down to 5. He fell in the snow, frantically grabbing the next Cinnamon Bun from his inventory. Papyrus was slow to attack this time; he was pawing at his ear canal, seeming to suddenly realize he didn't have ears there. When he noticed Karkat had recovered, he thrust out his arm again. "Undyne will be really proud of me!" He declared as the bones raced towards Karkat, who _barely_ managed to avoid the onslaught.

"Papyrus, please-" Karkat began, slapping Spare, but the skeleton wasn't listening.

"The king will trim a hedge in the shape of my smile!" He gasped, caught up in his own fantasy as his bones flew once more. Karkat had tears in his eyes by the time they faded, both from frustration and pain. Sweat dripped into his eyes, but he wiped it away with an upset snarl and pressed Spare. "My brother will... well, he won't change very much." Papyrus mused, before a dozen little bones struck Karkat in several places, slicing his HP down to 13. Papyrus blinked at him, seeming to realize the state he was in. "I'll have lots of admirers, but..." He continued, sounding a little uncertain. Encouraged by his falter, Karkat hit Spare and watched Papyrus fidget.

"But what?" Karkat spat.

"Well... will anyone like me as sincerely as you?" Papyrus asked, frowning. Even his attack seemed to be wavering, the bones contorting and changing size as they flew towards Karkat's feet. The troll jumped over them, biting back a groan of pain as the heavy weight pushed more forcefully on his shoulders. I don't even like you at all right now, Karkat thought. "Someone like you is really rare..." Papyrus continued, before releasing his next barrage, which left Karkat back down at 5 HP.

"Fuck!" The troll bellowed as he was struck several times. He let out several more choice words, his throat tight with the urge to cry out of frustration. He angrily grabbed the last Cinnamon Bun from his inventory.

"And dating might be kind of hard, after you're captured and sent away..." Papyrus pouted.

"I'll fucking pail you at this point, if you'll just fucking stop!" Karkat cried, wiping his face on his sleeve. Papyrus wasn't listening, staring through the troll for a moment before he shook his head.

"Urgh! Enough! Just give up!" He huffed, flinging out his arm. Karkat hissed and leaped over the bones, rolling to avoid the ones in the air as he slammed his hand into Spare. "Give up, or face my Special Attack!" Papyrus commanded, releasing a second wave that came at the troll from both sides. He managed to avoid the first part, but was struck down to 11 HP by the second.

"Fuck you!" Karkat bellowed, hiccuping as tears of pain gathered in his eyes and sweat ran down his face. He blindly grabbed for his items and ate part of one of the Bisicles, his HP filling back up. Papyrus shook his head.

"This is your last chance, before I use my Special Attack!" He called as his bones swarmed towards the troll. Karkat whimpered; just fucking kill me already, he thought, freezing in place as a pair of blue bones cut through him, before he was forced to crawl away to avoid the others. Papyrus shook his head sadly.

"Behold! My Special Attack!" He cried. He thrust his palm forward. The bone that burst from the ground instantly fell back to earth, because-

there was a dog. Both Karkat and Papyrus stared at the tiny pomeranian that was clutching the bone in its jaws, gnawing on it. "What the heck?" Papyrus asked, flabbergasted, "That's my special attack! Hey, you stupid dog!" The pomeranian looked up, startled, "Do you hear me?! Stop munching that bone!" He ordered. The pomeranian blinked, before it stood up and began to walk away, dragging the bone with it. "Hey! What are you doing!? Come back here with my special attack!" The dog ignored him, running off back to Snowdin. Karkat and Papyrus looked at each other, stunned into silence for a moment by the random encounter. "... Oh, well." Papyrus said finally, "I'll just use a really cool regular attack." He sighed.

Karkat swallowed down the rant he could feel building in his lungs, and instead reached out and hit Spare. Papyrus sighed again.

"Here's an absolutely normal attack." He muttered, disheartened.

The bombardment of bones was anything but 'normal'. Swarms of bones hurled towards the troll from all sides, in every shape, size, and formation. Karkat could only struggle to keep up, helpless under the downright shower of ossein matter. He was struck everywhere, from his horns to his feet as he writhed and danced pathetically to avoid the blitz. Outside the battle, Karkat could distantly hear Dave shouting his name.

When it finally, _finally_ ended, he was down to only 3 HP. He crumpled to his knees, clutching himself tightly and shaking, panting heavily as he fought back tears. Papyrus was panting, too, their ragged breathing the only sound for a long moment.

"Well... hah- it's clear you can't- ah- defeat me!" Papyrus wheezed, taking a deep breath and clearing his throat. "Y- yeah! I can see you shaking in your boots! Therefore I, the great Papyrus, elect to grant you mercy, human! I will Spare you! Now's your chance to accept my mercy!"

Karkat blinked dumbly; he was so fucking tired, his brain was mush and his body was pain. Summoning whatever last scraps of motor function that he had, he reached out with shaking fingers and hit Spare.

Instantly, his Soul and the boxes faded, and he slumped forward, the snow a relief against his sweaty brow. He heard running footsteps, and felt Dave's hand on his back as the Strider dropped to his knees beside him.

"Karkat?" He murmured, slipping his arms under the troll and rolling him over, lifting him into a partial sitting position. Karkat groaned, nothing more than dead weight as Dave cradled him. "It's okay, Karks, I gotcha. It's over." Dave soothed, brushing Karkat's bangs out of his face. Karkat whimpered, managing to open his eyes as Papyrus spoke.

"Nyoo hoo hoo... I can't even stop someone as weak as you." he said, sounding distraught, "Undyne's going to be disappointed in me. I'll never join the Royal Guard, and... my friend quantity will remain stagnant!" Karkat turned his head and looked up at Dave for a long moment, before he sighed.

"Ugh. I'm probably going to hate myself even more for this." Karkat mumbled, before he turned his head towards Papyrus. "Hey, dipshit!" He croaked, his voice still trembling. Papyrus looked up, startled, as Karkat pushed off of Dave's shoulder and sat up. He rolled onto his knees and struggled to his feet. Seeing what he was trying to do, Dave grabbed his arm and helped him up, silently slipping an arm around his waist and letting Karkat put all his weight on him. The troll coughed violently, before wiping his face on his sleeve. He wheezed, his whole frame trembling, but he extended his hand towards the upset skeleton. "Let's be friends, okay?"

Papyrus' eye sockets widened. "R- really? You want to be friends with me?! Well then... I guess- I guess I can make an allowance for you! Wowie! We haven't even had our first date, and I've already managed to hit the friend zone!" Dave couldn't help himself, he snorted as Papyrus continued, "Who knew that all I needed to make pals was to give people awful puzzles and then fight them? You've taught me a lot, human! I hereby grant you permission to pass through!

And, I'll give you directions to the surface: continue forward until you reach the end of the cavern. Then, when you reach the capital, cross the barrier. That's the magic seal trapping us all underground. Anything can enter through it, but nothing can exit, except someone with a powerful Soul, like you! That's the king wants to acquire a human; he wants to open the barrier with Soul Power. Then us monsters can return to the surface! Oh, I almost forgot to tell you- to reach the exit, you will have to pass through the king's castle. The king of all monsters, he is... well... he's a big fuzzy pushover! Everybody loves that guy! I am certain if you just say "Excuse me, Mr. Dreemurr, can I go home?" He'll guide you right to the barrier himself!

Anyway, that's enough talking! I'll be at home being a cool friend! Feel free to come by and have that date! Nyehehehehehe!"

"Wait-" Dave began, his head spinning with all the information they were just given, but Papyrus jogged past them before he could get any further. As soon as he was gone, Karkat crumpled against him, and he quickly caught the shaking troll. "Oh, jesus- okay, easy man, I've got you." He grunted. He adjusted his grip on the troll and saw, to his amusement, that Karkat had fainted, absolutely spent after his battle. Chuckling, Dave kissed his forehead and scooped the troll up, carrying him bridal style back towards the Save.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Papyrus has ADHD, you can't change my mind.


	16. Chapter 16

When Karkat woke again, he was back at the Snowed Inn; he didn't open his eyes right away, instead letting his other senses slowly come back to him. It was almost eerily quiet, the loud snoring from next door silenced. The only sounds were his own breathing, and the hum of the heater. Around him, he could feel the plush bed and blankets; he was warm and safe, and he took a deep breath, letting himself sink deeper into his covers. The pleasant smell of air freshener and cinnamon wafted past his nose and he hummed, pleased.

"Karkles? You up?" A familiar voice asked. Karkat finally forced his eyes open, before his mouth opened wide in a yawn. Blinking rapidly, he looked up and saw Dave standing over him.

"Mngh. I guess." The mutant muttered, reaching up and rubbing his eyes, "What the fuck happened?"

"You passed out after your fight with Paps. I brought you back to the Inn and the nice lady offered to put us up here again until you woke up." Dave explained, sitting on the edge of the bed and watching him. Karkat stretched his arms up, groaning, before he forced himself to sit up.

"How long have I been out?"

"About six hours."

"Jesus fuck."

"Yeup. How're you feeling?" Karkat paused, mentally checking himself over.

"Better, I think? I don't hurt." He reached up and squished his own cheek, where one of the bones had struck him; it felt fine.

"I Saved for us," Dave explained, "so your HP got refilled. Check this out, too." He pulled Karkat's phone out of his pocket and pulled up the troll's Stats:

**Karkat**   
**LV 1**   
**HP 30/20**

**ATK 0 (5) EXP: 0**   
**DEF: 0 (7) NEXT: 10**

**Weapon: Tough Glove**   
**Armor: Manly Bandanna**   
**Gold: 20**

"See it?" Dave nodded to the HP line. Karkat's eyes widened.

"Thirty? How-"

"'Sleeping can recover your health above your maximum HP.'" Dave quoted, closing the phone.

"Oh, yeah, what the kid said. Why are we so low on gold?"

"I went back to the shop and bought some stuff."

"Great." Karkat stretched some more and heard his back pop, to which he groaned appreciatively. He sighed, looking up at Dave. "So... I guess we should get going, right? Papyrus said we've got to make it to the capital and-" He frowned; everything Papyrus had told them was a little fuzzy, as he'd been on the verge of collapsing, "something about a barrier?" Dave nodded.

"Yeah, I..." He hesitated, then continued, "I went and did some research about that while you were out. Apparently, the monsters used to live up on the surface. Long story short, there was a big ass war, and the humans sealed them underground with a spell or something. Now they can't leave, unless they have human Souls to break the barrier. They've been down here for centuries." Karkat frowned.

"That can't be right. Earth C was spawned from the end of SGRUB, it was completely uninhabited when we arrived-" He stopped as Dave shook his head.

"That's what I thought, too. Turns out Earth C was like... _my_ Earth's doomed timeline; its beta test run, I guess. Humans were here before, they failed, and Earth C was subsequently added to SBURB's coding or someshit, while the human species was respawned on my planet. I think? I dunno, the book was kinda fuzzy on the details. They didn't even know the humans on the surface were gone this whole time." Dave explained. Karkat went quiet, mulling this over.

"Okay... but we've been on Earth C for a whole year now, why hadn't we found any proof of other people being here before us?" He asked, frowning further.

"Some kind of complete restart; everything on the surface vanished, and nature took over. The barrier was the only thing that kept the monsters from vanishing, too."

"Wait, so... What the fuck wiped out the humans?" Dave shook his head.

"I don't know, dude. We'll just have to hope we don't make the same mistakes. If we can break the barrier the other humans set up, maybe it'll fix everything." Karkat nodded slowly, then took a deep breath.

"Okay, then lets get to the fucking capital already." He turned, throwing his blankets off and getting up; Dave had removed his shoes, he noted, and left them by the bed. He bent down and grabbed them, slipping them on, while Dave got up.

"Sure thing, but first, you've got a date with Paps." Dave told him, making him look up sharply.

"What?"

"Remember? You and Papyrus have a date."

Karkat sat up. "You can't be serious. I'm not going on a date with fucking Papyrus- I'm already dating you!" Dave grinned, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

"He's in the friend zone, remember? It's a friend date." He said.

"Friend dates are for morails!"

"Come on, Paps already thinks you've got a crush on him, you've gotta let him down anyway." Dave insisted. Karkat glared at his boyfriend for a moment, before he huffed and bent down to tie his shoes.

"Fucking- fine, but you're coming with me." He grumbled. Dave chuckled.

"Oh, I'm wouldn't miss this for the world." He assured him, still grinning.

The two of them quickly left the Inn, Dave pausing to thank the rabbit woman profusely before they departed. They stepped out into the snowy street once more.

"Right, their hive is across town, isn't it?" Karkat asked.

"Yeah, we can take the undersnow tunnel." Dave pointed to the igloo next to the inn. Karkat looked taken aback.

"You tried it?"

"Hell yeah, it's fun! Come on!" Dave made for the igloo, and Karkat hesitantly followed.

"How does it work?"

"Just do what I do!" Dave sat down at the entrance, his feet dangling into the darkness, before he pushed off. There was a loud, almost slurping noise of air, and Dave was suddenly sucked away, whooping with laughter.

"Dave!" Karkat cried, alarmed. He quickly sat down and pushed off.

Instantly, a force like a vortex of air seemed to grab him, and he was flying through a dark tube, his ass gliding along the bottom like a slide. He shrieked at the sudden motion, blindly flailing for purchase. Before he knew it, he was being thrust upward, and he was spat out, onto solid ground again. He tumbled onto his face and groaned, his breath knocked out of him. He raised his head and saw Dave standing next to him, offering him a hand up.

"See? Fun right?" The blonde grinned.

"That was terrifying!" Karkat huffed, grabbing his hand and pulling himself to his feet.

"Yeah, but fun." Dave chuckled, reaching out to brush snow off the troll's sweater.

"We have very different definitions of what the fuck "fun" is, Strider." Karkat grumbled, glancing around. The tunnel had spat them out right between the skeletons' house and their shed. The house was to their right, in front of which Papyrus was standing.

Karkat sighed, knocking Dave's hand away and approaching the skeleton, who looked up as the boys approached.

"So you came back to have a date with me!" He cried, delighted, "You must be really serious about this... I'll have to take you somewhere really special- a place I like to spend a lot of time!"

"Well, Papyrus, look-" Karkat began, ready to explain, but Papyrus wasn't listening, his face screwed up in thought.

"I know! My house! We're already here! Come!" Papyrus turned and headed inside, motioning for them to follow. Karkat looked at Dave and sighed again.

"Just remember that I hate you." he grumbled, before he ducked inside after the skeleton. Dave laughed to himself as he followed, shutting the door behind him as he stepped inside.

The interior of the skeleton's house was... interesting, he thought. The floor was covered with a plush carpet of blue and and purple stripes, while the walls were painted a plum purple. To their left, a bright green, saggy old couch was pushed against the wall, facing a flat screen TV mounted on a stand. Next to the stand was a single sock covered in sticky notes. Pushed into the far left corner was a coffee table with a giant book on it. Also to the left was a set of stairs, that lead up to the second story. To the right was a dining table, with nothing but a plate on it. On the plate, however, was a rock that was covered in sprinkles. Directly ahead of them was the kitchen.

"Welcome to scenic 'my house'!" Papyrus said cheerily, walking over to stand near the stairs, "Enjoy, take your time to look around!" He invited.

"Thanks man, we will." Dave answered as Karkat walked over to the couch and sat down, only to leap up as it jangled loudly. He turned to look as twenty gold pieces fell out of the cushions. Surprised, he scooped them up. Meanwhile, Dave went to investigate the sock, reading over the notes:

**"Sans! Please pick up your sock!"**

**"ok."**

**"Don't put it back down! Move it!"**

**"ok."**

**"You moved it two inches! Move it to your room!"**

**"ok."**

**"And don't bring it back!"**

**"ok."**

**"It's still here!"**

**"didn't you just say not to bring it back to my room?"**

**"Forget it!"**

Dave giggled; that absolutely seemed like something he and John would do. Another pang of homesickness struck him as he thought of the bucktoothed Egbert; he missed his best friend. Shaking it away quickly, he walked away to examine the rock.

"That's my brother's pet rock." Papyrus told him, "He always forgets to feed it, so as usual, I have to take responsibility."

That explains the sprinkles, Dave thought, amused. He turned to go investigate the kitchen.

It looked relatively plain, except for the sink counter; it stretched nearly to the ceiling, far above his head. He stared up at it, before he turned to find Papyrus watching him.

"What the-?" He asked, jerking a thumb at it.

"Impressed? I increased the height of my sink! Now I can fit more bones under it, take a looksy!" Papyrus invited. Dave turned back and pulled open the giant door; it was empty, except for a single bone... and the pomeranian that was gnawing on it. "What? Hey!" Papyrus shouted as the pup ran out from under the sink, "Catch that meddling canine!" Dave turned towards the dog, who ran for the door and wriggled out the doggy door at the bottom. "Curses!" Papyrus huffed, before a door upstairs opened and all three of them heard a trumpet play an ironic "_wah-waah_". Papyrus turned and glared up at the landing. "SANS! Stop plaguing my life with incidental music!"

Dave snickered, turning to look around some more. He glanced at the fridge, making Papyrus perk up.

"Ah-ha! Interested in my Food Museum? Please, peruse my culinary art show!" he invited. Dave shrugged and opened the door; half of the fridge was filled with containers all labeled "spaghetti", while the other half only contained an open bag of chips. "Great fridge, isn't it?"

"Yeah man, it's great." Dave assured him, shutting the door again. He turned towards the oven, and noted an empty pie tin sitting inside.

"My brother always goes out to eat, but recently he tried "baking" something. It was like... a quiche, but filled with a sugary, non-egg substance." Papyrus said. I think he made a pie, my dude, Dave thought, briefly wondering if Papyrus knew what a pie was. Finally, he glanced at the last thing in the kitchen: the waste basket. "That's the trashcan, feel free to visit it at any time." Papyrus told him. Dave chuckled.

"Will do." He told him, before he walked out of the kitchen. Papyrus went back to where he'd been standing, and Dave saw Karkat had moved; the troll was standing by the coffee table, reading from the big book and looking increasingly frustrated as he flipped the pages. As Dave approached, he thrust it at him.

"Look at this shit." he ordered. Dave took the book and looked at the cover. It was simply titled "Joke Book", and he flipped it open. It was a fake book, he realized, as he opened it to find the 'pages' were all stuck together and carved out to make room for _another_ book, simply titled "Quantum Physics". He opened that one, too; it was also fake, and had another joke book inside, which he opened to reveal- another fucking quantum physics book. Dave shut them all, laughing.

"That's clever." He said, passing it back. Karkat shook his head, putting the book back on the table.

Finally, Dave turned and headed upstairs.

Up on the landing was a pair of doors; one of them was covered in "**do not enter**" and "**keep out**" signs. One sign in the middle read:

"**Papyrus' room! No Sans' allowed!**"

Okay, so that was Papyrus' room, he thought, turning to look at the other door. That door was blank, but Dave could see multi-colored lights flashing underneath it, and heard music playing from the other side. Sans' room, then. Between the two rooms was a large, framed photo of a bone. Papyrus and Karkat came up the stairs and saw him looking at it.

"A classic image!" Papyrus beamed, "It always reminds me of what's important in life." He turned to Karkat, then, and motioned to his door, "That's my room! If you've finished looking around, we could go in and... do whatever people do when they date." he suggested. Karkat hesitated, glancing at Dave, who nodded encouragingly. Karkat sighed, nodding to Papyrus.

"Okay, yeah, lets do it." He said. Papyrus glanced at Dave.

"You can come look, too!" He invited, before he turned and opened the door, waving them in. The boys stepped inside to look around.

Papyrus' room was... very fitting, Dave thought. A rug was spread across the floor, the edges bordered with a print of flames. To the left was a box of bones, while to the right sat a red, race-car-shaped bed. Next to that was a table covered in little figurines. Against the far wall, to the right of a closet door, stood a bookshelf, chock full of what looked like children's books. To the left of the door was a desk, with an ancient looking computer and monitor. Pinned to the wall was a giant, jolly roger flag. Noticing Dave looking at it, Papyrus gestured to it.

"Isn't that flag neato? Undyne found it at the bay. I think it's from the human world? Now, I know what you're thinking. Why would a human flag have a cool skeleton on it? Well... I have a theory: I think humans must have descended from skeletons! Nyehehe!" Dave pursed his lips and shared a glance with Karkat, who looked like it was taking his entire will not to laugh.

"Interesting theory." Karkat managed to say, his voice cracking from the strain of not laughing. He walked over to the figurine table to examine it more closely.

"Ah, yes, my action figures. A great reference for theoretical battle scenarios."

"How do you have so many?" Karkat asked.

"Well, let's just say they're from... a chubby smiling man who loves to surprise people! Santa!" Papyrus explained. Karkat nodded, turning to go examine the shitty computer. "The internet! I'm quite popular there. I'm just a dozen away from a double digit follower count! Of course, fame has a steep price. A jealous troll has besieged my online persona, always sending me bad puns in a goofy font."

"Ya'll have internet?" Dave asked, surprised; he had three guesses on who was trolling Papyrus, and he was sure all three were correct. Paps nodded.

"The great Dr. Alphys set it up." he told him.

"Huh." was all Dave replied with as he walked over to the bed to look it over.

"That's my bed." Papyrus said unnecessarily, "If I ever get to the surface, I'd like to drive down a long highway; wind in my hair, sun on my skin... of course, that's just a dream. So instead, I cruise while I snooze."

"You don't have-" Karkat began, but Dave signaled at him to stop talking, not wanting to crush the skeleton's dreams.

"It's a good dream." He said instead, before he nodded to the box of bones, "What're those?" Papyrus beamed.

"Those are all the attacks I used on you!" He said, addressing Karkat, "Great memories, huh? Seems like it was only yesterday... Even though, it basically just happened."

"Uh-huh." Karkat said, casting a resentful glance at the box.

"So, um... If you've seen everything, do you want to start the date?" Papyrus asked, suddenly looking nervous. Karkat sighed.

"Yeah, I guess." He said, "But, um-"

He broke off as there was a sudden knock on the door. All three turned to see it open and Sans poke his head into the room.

"Heya. Don't mean to bother, but-" He looked at Dave, "Can I borrow you for a second?" Dave blinked, surprised, but nodded.

"Yeah, sure." Sans' head disappeared again and Dave made for the door, pausing to look back at Karkat and Papyrus. "Have fun, you two!" He called, before he left. He stepped out into the hall and shut the door, and saw Sans standing by the stairs. The skeleton motioned for him to follow, before he headed down the steps. Dave trailed after him, and Sans crossed the living room, flopping onto the couch. He pat the cushion beside him, so Dave walked over and sat. "What's up, man?" He asked, wondering what all the formality was for.

Sans didn't answer right away, looking at their reflections in the TV screen for a long moment. He finally turned and looked up at Dave, an unreadable expression on his face.

"I know you're the real human, David." He said.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> screams

"Okay!" Papyrus clapped his hands excitedly, "Dating start!" Karkat rolled his eyes, amused.

"Yeah, okay."

"Okay!" Papyrus said again, "Here we are, on our date!" He hesitated, before he admitted, "I've actually never done this before... But don't worry!" He quickly assured the troll, "You can't spell "prepared" without several letters from my name!" He dug into his pocket and pulled out a small pocket book, holding it up proudly, "I snagged an official dating rule book from the library, so we're ready to have a great time!" He beamed.

Alright, Karkat admitted to himself, it was kind of endearing how much effort Papyrus was putting into this. Papyrus flipped open the book, holding it up to read.

"Let's see... Step one... activate your 'Dating Hub'." The skeleton read.

"My what?" Karkat asked, before he jumped back in surprise; his Soul suddenly burst forth, and with it came several new things. Above his head was a spinning, yellow sun, with "FRI" next to it. To the left was a meter that was fluctuating rapidly, the bar going from green to red and back again. Above it were the words, "Reel it in!"

Below that was a chart dubbed "Population"; the chart was going bonkers, rising and falling frantically like a heartbeat monitor. And underneath that... was an egg. Simply labeled... "egg". Karkat looked to his right, and saw a box labeled "Crime", where several incomprehensible lights were flashing. Finally, above that, was a sonar system, the green light sweeping about in a circle. Every time it came around, it beeped over an icon that looked like a dog. Both Karkat and Papyrus stared at everything, before they were both laughing.

"Wowie! I feel so informed! I think we're ready for step two!" Papyrus said gleefully, looking down at the book, "Step two... ask them on a date!" He read. He looked up at Karkat, clearing his throat and lowering the book. "Human! I, the great Papyrus, will go on a date with you!" He declared. Close enough, Karkat thought, nodding.

"Yes." He agreed. Papyrus' skull lit up, his eye sockets widening and cheekbones going pink. He pressed his gloved hands to his jaw like an excited child.

"R- really? Wowie! I guess that means it's time for step three!" He picked up the book again to read, "Step three... put on nice clothes to show you care." He read. He glanced up at Karkat and suddenly froze. "... Wait a second! "Wear clothing"? That bandanna around your wrist- you're wearing clothing right now! Not only that, earlier today you were also wearing clothing!" He cried.

"I'm not exactly going to go nude in the fucking snow, now am I?" Karkat pointed out.

"No... could it be?" Papyrus gasped, "You've wanted to date me from the very beginning?!"

"Well, Papyrus, actually-" Karkat began, ready to let the skeleton down.

"I knew it!" Papyrus cried, eye sockets absolutely huge, "You planned it all! You're way better at dating than I am! N- nooo! Your Dating Power-!!" The Dating Hub suddenly vanished, and a bar appeared before them, titled "Dating Power". A blue bar filled it partly and Papyrus shook like someone had hit him. He shook his skull frantically, "Nyeh! Nyehehehe! Don't- don't think you've bested me yet!" He ordered, as a new box appeared; this one was titled "Tension", the chart inside jumping and falling randomly, "I, the great Papyrus, have never been beaten at dating! And I never will! I can easily keep up with you!" He boasted. Karkat stuffed his hands in his pocket, raising an eyebrow.

"Can you?" He asked with detached sarcasm. Papyrus didn't seem to catch it, though, and nodded seriously.

"For you see, I, too, can wear clothing! In fact, I always wear my "special" clothes underneath my regular clothes! Just in case someone happens to ask me on a date! Behold!" He turned away and began pulling his outfit off, and Karkat quickly averted his gaze, putting a hand up to shield his eyes. "Nyeh! There! What do you think of my secret style!?" Papyrus cried. Karkat dared himself to turn back around.

Papyrus was wearing... a lot. Gone was his "battle body". It was replaced with an orange, backwards baseball cap that wasn't sitting right at all, bright red sneakers with socks pulled up to his knee bones, black basketball shorts, and leather, fingerless gloves. The weirdest thing, though, was his shirt. It was a basketball jersey, with the words "Cool Dude" written on it in marker, the bottom cut off to expose where his stomach would be. That would have been fine, except for the fact that Papyrus had shoved actual, literal _basketballs_ onto his shoulders, holes cut out on two sides to let his arms slip through.

Karkat, somehow, managed to keep a straight face as he replied, "Oh, I _love_ it." Papyrus looked stunned, like Karkat had shot him.

"No! A genuine compliment!" He cried. The Dating Power bar returned, and filled up some more. Papyrus glanced at it, then shook his head, "However... you don't understand the _hidden power_ of this outfit!" He declared.

"Oh god, there's more of it?" Karkat blurted out.

"Indeed! Therefore, what you just said is invalid!" Papyrus huffed. The Dating Power bar shrank again. "This date won't escalate any further, unless you find my secret! But that won't happen!"

Karkat looked him over, then pointed at his hat. "Is it under your hat?" he guessed. Papyrus looked taken aback.

"My hat...?" he repeated. He averted his gaze from the troll, "My hat! Nyehehehe!" he reached up and pulled the cap off, revealing a neatly wrapped, square box sitting on his skull, "W- well then, you found my secret! I suppose I have no choice! It's a present- a present just for you!" He reached up and took the gift off his head and held it out.

Karkat hesitated, before he reached out and took it. He pulled off the paper to reveal a plate of spaghetti, complete with a fork. Wait, he thought, how the fuck was a plate of spaghetti such a square box-

"Do you know what this is?" Papyrus asked eagerly, distracting him from his thoughts.

"Uh, yeah?" He frowned.

"It's spaghetti!" Papyrus cried happily, "That's what you were thinking, isn't it?"

"Yes, P-"

"Right! But, oh so wrong! This ain't any plain ol' pasta!" Papyrus declared theatrically.

"Why are you texan all the sudden?" Karkat asked and was, unsurprisingly, ignored.

"This is an artisan's work!" Papyrus went on eagerly, "Silken spaghetti, finely aged in an oaken cask, then cooked by me, master chef Papyrus! Human! It's time to end this! There's no way this date will go any further!"

Karkat paused, glancing down at the spaghetti, then up at Papyrus again. Fuck it, he thought, if I get food poisoning it's Dave's fault for pushing me into this. He picked up the fork and twirled a bite onto it, then shoved it into his mouth.

Flavor burst on his tongue, his face scrunching up as he forced himself to chew; the taste was indescribable, he thought. It was salty, sweet, savory, bitter, sour, spicy, pungent, and bland, all at once. He couldn't decide if he hated it or loved it, but forced himself to swallow it regardless.

"What a passionate expression!" Papyrus cried, watching him, "You must really love my cooking! And- by extension, me! Maybe even more than I do!" His eye sockets went impossibly wide as the Dating Power bar shook and pulsed, the bar filling up so fast that it burst out the side. "Noooo!" Papyrus cried, throwing his arms up to shield himself as a bright flash of white light enveloped them.

"Fuck!" Karkat shouted, dropping the plate and covering his eyes, blinded. As silence fell, he could tell from behind his eyelids that the light was still shining, and kept his fingers pressed firmly to his face. It began to fade, slowly, and Papyrus spoke.

"Human. It's clear now; you're madly in love with me."

"Ugh, no, you stupid fuck, I'm-"

"Everything you do. Everything you say. It's all been for my sake. Human, I want you to be happy, too. It's time for _me_ to express _my_ feelings. It's time that I told you. I, Papyrus..." Okay, here we go, Karkat thought, finally moving his hands and looking up. He blinked furiously, his vision swimming back into focus, only to see Papyrus blatantly trying not to look at him, sweat rolling down his skull, "I... um..." the skeleton hesitated, before he coughed uncomfortably, "Boy, is it hot in here, or is it just me?" He asked, laughing awkwardly. When Karkat said nothing, his face fell. "... Oh, shoot.

Human, I... I'm sorry. I don't like you the way you like me. Romantically, I mean. I mean, I tried very hard to! I thought because you flirted with me, that I was supposed to go on a date with you. Then, on the date, feelings would blossom forth! I would be able to match your passion for me! But alas, I, the great Papyrus..." He hung his head, "have failed. I feel just the same way as before. And instead, by dating you, I have only drawn you deeper into your intense love for me. A dark prison of passion, with no escape." He shook his head miserably, "How could I have done this to my dear friend...?"

"... Papyrus-"

"No! Wait! That's wrong!" Papyrus jerked his head up, "I can't fail at anything! Human! I'll help you through these trying times! I'll keep being you're cool friend, and act like this all never happened." He reached out, laying a hand on Karkat's shoulder, "After all, _you_ are very great. It would be tragic to lose your friendship. So please, don't cry because I won't kiss you, because I don't even have lips. And hey, maybe someday you'll find someone as great as me." He paused thoughtfully, before he shook his head, "Well, no, that's not true, but I'll help you settle for second best! Nyehehehe!" he suddenly perked up, grinning as an idea struck him, "I know! What about that Dave monster? He seems very great, I could set you up with him! I have a way with people, you know!"

"Uh-"

"Here! If you ever need to reach me, here's my phone number!" He took Karkat's phone before the troll could protest and punched it in, then handed it back, "You can call me at any time! Er, platonically. I'll help you get together with Dave! Gotta go!"

Without even catching his breath, Papyrus ran out the room before Karkat could process what was happening. He stared down at his phone, bewildered, before nearly jumping out of his skin as the door opened again. He whirled around to see Dave, leaning on the door frame.

"Hey man, how'd it go?" He asked casually.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this one was a little short, sorry, just- needed some quick comedy relief before the tension, you know?


	18. Chapter 18

-About an hour ago-

"I know you're the real human, David." Sans said heavily. Dave stiffened and went still, like a spooked rabbit, and averted his gaze.

"... You're the first to notice." He said finally. Sans hummed, shifting his sitting position a little.

"I've got the eye sockets for it." He chuckled, before his smile faded, "'Sides, I've seen humans before. Paps hasn't- none of the others have, actually- so I get why they think you're one of us."

"My eyes."

"Your eyes." The skeleton nodded.

"So... how come you know, but the others don't?"

Sans was quiet, his teeth clicking together as he thought. "How do I say this?" He muttered, "Lets see... About a year ago, something around here changed. None of us knew what it was, but we felt it. Something on the surface was different. There was a- a ripple, almost, one that hadn't been felt in a long, long time. Not long after the barrier was put up, actually, there was a similar ripple. Time went... weird, for a while. And all us monsters felt... hope."

"A year ago was when we arrived." Dave said, frowning, leaning forward and putting his elbows on his knees. Sans nodded as he went on, "So... the ripple before that. That was the other humans-"

"Leaving."

"They left?"

"Or something drove them away."

"How do you know about that?"

"...." Sans suddenly wouldn't look at him. "We thought it was just an effect of the barrier at first. Perhaps it was breaking from age. Or it was renewing itself. But that wasn't it. It was... reacting. Reacting to a new kind of power." Dave nodded thoughtfully.

"The game. Or, no, maybe our God Tiers?"

"God Tiers?" Sans repeated.

Dave nodded slowly, before he sat back, and launched into an explanation of... everything. SBURB, the trolls, the game, the timelines, the God Tiers- everything. He only paused when he was interrupted by a loud "Nyehehehe!" from upstairs, before he continued on. Sans listened intently, not saying anything.

"... and that's when we arrived here. Our game was over. We had this new, unexplored, untouched world to rebuild and start over in; make our epilogue, I guess. I mean, we're still technically trapped in the game, but _I guess_ it also saved us, because all our worlds are gone. My earth was obliterated in Armageddon, and Karkat's- blew up, I think? Or his space queen broke it?" He frowned, before he reached up and ran a hand through his hair, "I dunno, it's been a... a lot. The details get fuzzy. Regardless, it was over. We were supposed to just, make something better. And we did! We've got houses, a whole city, actually. My sister is in charge of it, because she's the smartest; well, her and her wife. Humans and trolls live together, and there's no bullshit like homophobia or racism or whatever. We're just trying to do better than our old planets did. And better than this one, too, I guess. It was all fine, for a year." He sighed, going quiet for a minute. Sans simply waited. "... But then," He continued finally, "I was just trying to show Karkat a cool trick with my powers... and I accidentally brought us here. And now my boyfriend is on a date with your brother."

Both of them looked up at the second floor in time to hear a resounding "FUCK!" from Karkat.

"I'm sure they're fine." Sans said, before turning back to Dave. Dave put his chin in his hand, staring at the floor in thought.

"Ever since we fell into... here-"

"The underground."

"- Yeah. My powers haven't been working. They get, like, cancelled. I can't even fly."

"That'd be the barrier at work. Your powers aren't monster-born, so the barrier stripped them to keep us safe." Sans explained. He worked his jaw back and forth for a moment, thinking, "If everything you said is true, and I do believe you that it is," He added quickly as Dave opened his mouth, "then that means the underground is now part of your SBURP game."

"SBURB."

"Close enough." Sans grinned, making Dave snort, but their amusement quickly faded.

"But, yeah. I guess so. Now Karks and I have to play your game before we can get out, but- what then? Will our games be able to merge? Or will they both break and rip this world apart?" Dave sighed.

"That depends, I think."

"On?"

"Whether or not you break the barrier. You can leave; you are a human, and something has designated Karkat a human, too. That means the two of you can just walk right out and leave the barrier intact, and keep us trapped in here."

"Okay, well, that's off the table. If I've got the choice, I'm not leaving you guys behind."

"I appreciate that."

"So what's the other option?"

"You break the barrier, and our worlds die. Or you break the barrier and they merge just fine."

"... So we've got a 50/50 chance at this, huh?"

"Basically."

"... I've lived through worst odds."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. 'Bout ten to ninety I was gonna survive my childhood."

"Yeesh."

"Yup. So, question."

"Hit me."

"Am I allowed to tell Karkat about all this?"

"I don't think it would hurt."

"Cool. One more question- why was Karkat chosen as the human between us?" At that, Sans frowned.

"Couldn't tell ya that, sorry. Maybe it has to do with his alien stuff?" He suggested. Dave snorted.

"Well, he did kinda make the universe."

"... He did?"

"Yeah. He didn't mean to, but yeah. At least, he created my universe, before he broke it."

"... I didn't think he was that powerful."

"You'd be surprised." Dave laughed, but Sans didn't laugh with him, the skeleton looking up at the second floor again.

The door to Papyrus' room suddenly burst open and the skeleton came flying down the stairs, beaming.

"Hey, bro. How'd it go?" Sans said, suddenly grinning and cheery.

"We broke up! We're best friends now!" Papyrus told him excitedly. Dave snickered, getting to his feet.

"Better go see how he's doing." He said, heading for the stairs. He walked up the steps and pushed open the door to see Karkat whirl around, a shattered plate of spaghetti at his feet. He leaned against the door frame, grinning at the bewildered troll. "Hey man, how'd it go?" He asked casually.

Karkat let out his breath in a big rush. "Fan-fucking-tastic. That was... an ordeal." He said, walking over to Dave and leaning his forehead on the blonde's shoulder. Dave chuckled and wrapped his arms around him.

"Well, it's over now. We can head out now if you wanna."

"Fuck yeah."

They turned and left the house; both skeletons had disappeared, Dave noted as they stepped outside. As they turned and began to leave the city behind, Karkat launched into a regaling of everything that went down, until Dave was wheezing with laughter.

The fog once again swallowed them and they gripped each other's hands tighter until it began to clear. Once it did, they found themselves standing before a flooded road. The stone turned to damp soil as they continued, the river appearing from behind the trees once again and rushing alongside them, an ice block bobbing by. Water dripped from the top of the cavern, and even rushed down like a busted pipe in several places. The temperature became considerably warmer here, almost humid from all the water in the air. It smelled like wet dirt and old water here, Dave thought, like an abandoned laundromat.

Now that they were alone, it was Dave's turn to tell. He explained everything Sans had said, hardly noticing as the river suddenly turned away from them as they came upon a stone wall to their left. Karkat was silent, listening patiently. He opened his mouth to speak when the road suddenly widened and they came upon an odd gathering.

Before them, to their right, stood the little dragon kid, who was watching a waterfall that appeared from under the ground. It tumbled away into the darkness of a steep cliff; Dave could feel the ground rumbling under his feet from the water rushing below them. To their right stood a bright orange fish-man, next to a large, blue flower. Beyond them was a Save point, and beyond that was Sans, sitting in a sentry station. The station had snow on the roof, Dave realized, amused.

As the two of them stepped further into the area, the little dragon waddled up to them, glancing around with both nervousness and excitement.

"Yo! Are you sneaking out to see her, too?" They asked eagerly, "She's the coolest, right? I wanna be just like her when I grow up! Oh, hey, don't tell my parents I'm here. Haha." They laughed awkwardly.

"Don't worry kiddo, we don't know who you're talking about or who your parents are." Dave assured them. The dragon snickered and turned back to watch the water as Karkat began leading the way to the Save. While he was doing that, Dave let go of his hand and headed to the fish-man. "What's up, bro?" He greeted him. The fish gestured to the large flower beside him.

"This is an echo flower." He bubbled, "It repeats the last thing it heard, over and over. Neat, huh?" Dave turned to the flower, reaching out and touching it gently.

"Neat, huh?" The flower whispered, making him jerk his hand back.

"Whoa. Very neat." He agreed.

"Whoa. Very neat." The flower whispered. He snorted and turned away, walking back to Karkat, who was looking up at the snow on the station's roof.

"You good, dude?" Dave asked him, making the troll jump.

"Yeah. Just thinking. Let's see what Sans' doing." Karkat said, shaking his head like he was ridding himself of a bad thought. He turned and headed for the sentry station and Dave stared after him, frowning thoughtfully, wondering if the troll was as okay as he was pretending to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's another short one, I'm sorry. The next one will be longer, I promise!


	19. Chapter 19

Dave followed Karkat over to the sentry station as Sans looked up at them, his jaw in his hand.

"Hey man, whatcha doing here?" Dave asked him. Sans hummed.

"What? Haven't you ever seen a guy with two jobs before?" He chuckled, "_Fortunately_, two jobs means twice as many legally required breaks. I'm gonna go to Grillby's, wanna come?" He invited. Dave and Karkat glanced at each other.

"Sure, why not." Dave agreed. Sans sat up, clicking his teeth together.

"Well, if you insist, I'll pry myself away from my work." He sat up and stretched, then got to his feet and walked around the station, turning towards where the road continued away from Snowdin. "Over here, I know a shortcut." He urged, walking off. Dave and Karkat shared another look, but followed him.

They didn't get far, before a dark fog seemed to swallow them, blotting out everything; Dave couldn't even see Karkat right beside him.

"What the fuck is this?" Karkat asked, before the pair of them were suddenly blinded by light. Blinking rapidly, Dave saw they were in the doorway of Grillby's, with Sans standing in front of them.

"Fast shortcut, huh?" He grinned.

"How did-" Dave began, but Sans turned away.

"Hey, everyone." He called to the rest of the customers. Dogaressa and Dogamy perked up.

"Hey, Sans!" Dogamy woofed.

"Hi, Sans." Dogaressa huffed.

"Greetings, Sans." The plant monster in the booth gurgled.

"Hiya, Sansy~" The drunk bunny slurred. Sans lead the two boys towards the bar, where the fish-man spoke up.

"Hey Sans, weren't you just here for breakfast a few minutes ago?" He asked. Sans chuckled.

"Nah, I haven't eaten in at least half an hour. You must be thinking of brunch." He quipped, winking. The other attendees laughed, before Sans turned to Dave and Karkat, motioning to the three free seats. "Here, get comfy." He invited, before hauling himself onto the nearest stool. Dave and Karkat sat, with Karkat in the middle. As the troll's bottom hit the seat, a loud, fake fart noise ripped through the air.

"What?!" Karkat jumped up, alarmed, to see a whoopee cushion that definitely hadn't been there seconds before.

"Whoops, watch where you sit down. Sometimes weirdos put whoopee cushions on the seats." Sans advised, before he and Dave laughed. Karkat huffed, his cheeks red, and shoved the whoopee cushion off his seat before he sat down again. Sans chuckled, "Anyway, let's order. Whaddya'll want? Burgers? Fries?"

"Oh, fuck, ya'll got burgers?" Dave perked up; it'd been a hot minute since he'd had a good burger, he thought. "I want one of those." Karkat nodded.

"Yeah, me too." He agreed.

Hey, that sounds pretty good." Sans concurred. He raised a hand and motioned for Grillby's attention. The fireman looked up, pausing in washing the cup he was working on, "Grillby, we'll have a triple order of the burg!" Sans called. Grillby nodded, setting the glass down and walking towards a door behind the bar. He disappeared inside, while Sans pulled out a comb and ran it over his skull a few times.

"Dude, you don't have hair, what're you doing?" Dave asked, leaning around Karkat to look at him. Sans chuckled, shoving the comb back in his pocket.

"I'm one of Grillby's regulars, gotta keep up appearances for him." He said dismissively, before he turned to Karkat, "So, what do you think of my brother?" he asked. Karkat shrugged, his nails tapping on the polished wood of the bar.

"He's cool, I guess." He said.

"Of course he's cool, you'd be cool too if you wore that outfit everyday." Sans grinned, stuffing his hands in his pockets, "He'd only take that thing off if he absolutely had to." He shrugged, "Ah, well, at least he washes it. ... By which I mean, he wears it in the shower."

"He does?" Dave snickered, as the door to the kitchens opened again and Grillby returned, carrying three burgers. He set one down in front of each boy, then returned to washing out his mugs.

"Here's the grub." Sans said cheerily, before pulling a ketchup bottle out of nowhere and offering it to Karkat. "Want some ketchup? Grills makes 'em a bit dry sometimes." He offered. Karkat hesitated, then nodded, taking it.

"Sure, thanks."

Sans winked at him. "_Bone_ appetit." he grinned.

Karkat rolled his eyes and pulled the top bun off his burger, turning the ketchup over. The lid suddenly clattered off and onto the floor, as an absolute flood of ketchup swamped forth, drowning his burger.

"Shit-" Karkat quickly righted the bottle, then stared in dismay at his ruined food.

"Whoops. Eh, forgettaboutit. You can have mine." Sans offered, pushing his plate towards Karkat, "I'm not hungry anyways." Karkat's shoulders slumped and he pulled the plate towards him.

"Thanks, Sans." He picked up the burger and bit into it, while Sans nodded and turned to Dave.

"What about you?" He asked, holding out another bottle of ketchup. Dave eyed it skeptically.

"Think I'll pass." He told him, picking up his burger. Sans shrugged, reaching up and unscrewing the lid.

"Suit yourself." He said, putting the bottle between his teeth and tipping his head back.

Both Dave and Karkat froze, watching him chug it. He made noises and his head moved like he was drinking, but none of the ketchup spilled down his jaw and neck like they expected it to. He kept going, until the bottle was empty, at which point he set it down and pushed it away, sighing contently. He reached behind himself and scratched his ass, before he turned back to Karkat.

"How did-?" The troll asked, blinking.

"Magic." Sans winked, wiping his mouth on his sleeve before he continued, "Anyway, cool or not, you have to agree Papyrus tries real hard. Like how he keeps trying to be part of the Royal Guard. One day, he went to the house of the head of the Royal Guard, and begged her to let him be in it." He broke off with a snort, "Of course, she shut the door on him because it was midnight. But the next day, she woke up and saw him still waiting there. Seeing his dedication, she decided to give him warrior training. It's, uh, still a work in progress." He admitted.

While he was talking, Dave began devouring his burger; it was fucking _delicious_, and he had to resist the urge to make some sort of verbal sound and interrupt. He was ready to moan like an anime school girl though, he mused; it was _that_ good, and he hadn't had a decent meal since they'd fallen into the underground. Not that he felt the need to eat, but _still_. It was gone by the time Sans stopped talking, and he was eyeing Karkat's ruined ketchup-mess. Karkat himself had started on his burger, but he only took a bite or two before he put it down again.

"At least he's dedicated." The troll was saying as Dave made up his mind and pulled Karkat's ruined burger closer. Sans nodded thoughtfully, before he sat up.

"Oh yeah, I wanted to ask you something." He said.

The room suddenly went silent, cold, and dark, with only a spotlight shining on Karkat and Sans. Both Karkat and Dave froze, looking around. Every one of the other patrons seemed be carrying on, as if this was normal. Dave turned and looked at the bird man beside him, but he was staring right through him like he was invisible; he was inclined to believe that he was, at the current moment, but everything else was normal for the bird.

Dave could feel a tension coiling in his gut; a heavy one, accompanied with the creeping feeling of dread. He turned back towards Sans to see the skeleton staring at Karkat with the same intensity he'd used on Dave earlier.

"Y- yeah?" Karkat asked tentatively, stiff as a board.

"Have you ever heard of a talking flower?" Sans asked him, his voice void of emotion. Karkat, somehow, went stiffer, and glanced over his shoulder at Dave.

"... Yes." Karkat said quietly. Sans nodded.

"So you know all about it. The echo flower. They're all over the marsh. If you say something to them, they'll repeat it over and over." He said.

"Wait- oh, I thought- what about it?" Karkat stammered, taken aback. Sans clacked his teeth together again.

"Well, Papyrus told me something interesting the other day. Sometimes, when no one else is around, a flower appears and whispers things to him. Flattery, advice, encouragement..." Sans' eye sockets narrowed ever so slightly, "Predictions. Weird huh?"

Dave heard Karkat audibly swallow, the air only growing heavier. "Weird." The troll croaked.

"Someone must be using an echo flower to play a prank on him." Sans said quietly, "Keep an eye out, okay?" Karkat could only nod, his eyes wide. Sans smiled. "Thanks."

And just like that, the tension broke.

The lights came back on, and the sounds of chatter and music once again filled the air. Dave felt like he could suddenly breathe again and nearly choked trying to get air in his lungs. All the tautness in Karkat's shoulders suddenly left him and he slumped forward as Sans spun on his stool and jumped off.

"Sans-" Dave began.

"Welp, that was a long break. I can't believe I let ya'll pull me away from work for that long." He said casually, before he turned to them. "Oh, by the way, I'm flat broke. Can you foot the bill? It's just ten thousand gold." He asked. Karkat's jaw fell open in shock.

"Wha- no!" He cried indignantly. Sans laughed.

"Just kidding. Grillby, put it on my tab." he glanced at the fireman, who nodded. Sans looked at the two boys again, before he walked away, towards the door. He reached out and put his hand on it, before he paused and turned back, "By the way..." He began, before he frowned. "... I was going to say something, but I forgot." He turned back around and pushed the door open, disappearing outside.

Dave looked at Karkat, who leaned forward and put his head in his hands, grabbing handfuls of his own hair.

"He wasn't talking about a fucking echo flower, was he?" Karkat croaked. Dave shook his head, pushing away his plate.

"No. He _knows_, Karkat. He knows everything." Dave said softly. Karkat shook his head frantically, pulling on his hair.

"Dave- I fucking- I can't _do_ this again." he whined, "I don't want to- I can't. Fucking. Do this. I- I won't-" Dave reached over and laid his hand on Karkat's shoulder, and Karkat grabbed it, squeezing his fingers tightly as he put his head on the counter, raking his free hand through his hair.

"I know, babe. It's gonna be okay, okay? I promise. I'm right here." He said soothingly, feeling Karkat's claws dig into his hand.

"I-" Karkat whimpered, squeezing his eyes shut.

"Shoosh. I know." Dave pet the side of Karkat's hand with his thumb, sliding off his stool to wrap his arm around him. He pulled the troll close, who promptly buried his face in the crook of Dave's shoulder, releasing his hand to sling his arms around the blonde's neck.

"I hate it here." Karkat said quietly, his shoulders trembling. Dave felt his heart sink; he missed home just as much as Karkat, but he'd been enjoying the journey for the most part. He liked Sans and Papyrus and everyone they'd met. The battles had been rough, sure, but they'd managed to survive those.

"We just have to get to the capital, Karks. We get to the capital, break the barrier, and go home. That's only three steps, right? We can do it, I'm right here with you. I'll do all the fighting if you want, okay?" He murmured, slowly rocking them from side to side. Karkat's grip tightened around his neck and he heard the troll take a deep, albeit shaky breath, before he nodded.

"Okay. Okay. Three steps. I'm- yeah. Okay." He rasped. He finally raised his head, blinking furiously; it broke Dave's heart to see the red sheen of tears in the troll's eyes. He impulsively leaned forward and planted a kiss on his nose.

"Three steps. Capital, barrier, home." He repeated, bonking his forehead against Karkat's.

Karkat nodded again, and with great reluctance, pulled away. He slid off his stool and grabbed Dave's hand, and allowed Dave to lead him towards the door.

They stepped back out into Snowdin, and Dave lead the way out of the town once more. Back through the foggy road, back across the dirt path, until they'd returned to the Save point with Sans once again at his station. Neither of the boys looked at him and just kept walking, Karkat's head bowed while Dave stared straight ahead.

Three steps, he repeated to himself as they entered the next area; he had a feeling it was going to be a lot easier said than done.


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this chapter took so long, I was having difficulties with my computer keys. I got a new keyboard now though, so we're good!

The next area that the boys entered was... loud. Before them rushed a pair of waterfalls that roared, the ground humming with their energy. One tumbled into a large pool, which overfilled and created the second one, which rushed away into the dark chasm. Rocks shook loose from the ceiling due to the the vibrations and fell, splashing into the water or shattering against a set of bridges that rose from the dark in front of the lower waterfall. Mist drifted through the air like untethered ghosts, instantly sticking to their clothes and hair and getting the boys damp. Directly in front of them was another box, next to a sign, which Dave stepped forward to read:

**"This is a box. You can put an item in or take an item out. Why would you, though??? You can't use items when they're in the box! Sincerely, a box hater."**

"What did boxes ever do to that guy?" Karkat said loudly to be heard over the noise, reading the sign over Dave's shoulder.

"Bro, ever heard of mimics? They're little critters that look like boxes but they eat you. Man's whole family could've been eaten, show some respect." Dave glanced at the box beside the sign and nudged it, just to be safe. It didn't react, so he turned and lead the troll past it. Karkat only grumbled under his breath as they stopped at the edge of the pool. "Wanna wade through, or check out the bridges?" Dave asked him. Karkat glanced back at the bridges, then at the pool, eyeing it critically.

"Bridges. We don't know how deep that is." He said. Dave nodded and turned, heading for the bridge. It was a rickety thing, with no sort of handrails or anything. It creaked as Dave put his foot on it, but it held. He carefully edged forward, squinting through the dusk-like lighting, and saw the bridge turn to their left. He carefully followed it around the bend, only for the bridge to split into two paths. He hesitated, wondering which to take, when Karkat spoke up, "Take either one, they rejoin."

"How do you-?" Dave turned to look back at him and jumped; Karkat's eyes were glowing like a cat's, his silver irises shining in the gloomy light. "Oh, right. You can probably see pretty damn well, can't you?"

"Yeah."

"Maybe you should take the lead, then." Dave offered. Karkat frowned, but did so, scooting past Dave and leading the way to the end of the bridge. Sure enough, the paths reconnected, but it didn't lead them past the pool. A final piece jutted out over the dark, where another echo flower was growing, it's roots ingrained into the rotting wood. Karkat approached it, nudging it lightly with his toe.

"I swore I saw something... behind that rushing water..." It whispered ominously. Dave glanced up at the waterfall beside them; behind the sheen of water, he saw a camera trained on them, a red light blinking steadily. Unnerved, he looked up at the falls above and noticed where the water seemed to split in two places, like there was something protruding from the wall slightly.

"Oh sweet, secrets." He said, deciding not to mention the camera to Karkat.

Karkat only hummed, turning and leading the way back across the bridge. Once they were on solid ground again, the two of them walked back to the edge of the pool. Dave released Karkat's hand, then, and bent down, beginning to untie his shoes. Karkat glanced at him, then did the same, rolling up his pants to his knees as he went. Dave did the same, tying his shoes together by their laces and tossing one over his shoulder, stuffing his socks in one of them. When they were both ready, Dave offered his hand again.

Karkat took it, putting his own shoes around his neck as Dave took a step forward. The water rose up to his shin and he shuddered; it was _cold_, the rocky bottom of the pool like ice pressed against his bare foot. He grit his teeth, sucking air through them sharply as he stuck his other foot in.

"Jesus fuck." Karkat hissed as he stepped into the pool, too, his free hand out for balance; the current was strong, but the water was deep enough that it didn't immediately wash them off the edge. When Karkat was in the water, Dave shuffled closer to the waterfall, squinting against the mist. The roar was so loud his eardrums were aching, but he wanted to see the secrets the flower had mentioned.

Sure enough, as he edged closer to where the water split, part of the stone behind it lifted. The water parted like curtains, revealing a dark entrance. He eagerly ducked inside, pulling Karkat with him.

They stepped into a small, dry cave, where the roaring of the falls became muted, the air seeming to vibrate. Inside, there were clusters of more of those glowing mushrooms. Laying against the wall, near the back, was a tutu. Dave couldn't help it, he burst out laughing.

"Secrets!" He crowed, his voice reverberating off the walls. He let go of Karkat's hand and walked over to the tutu, picking it up. He held it aloft for Karkat to see, before it vanished into their inventory. Karkat opened his phone to read the info:

_"Old Tutu"- Armor DEF 10_   
_Finally, a protective piece of armor._

"I am _not_ wearing that." Karkat said vehemently, "Got it? I don't care if it's better than the bandanna, I am _not_ wearing a fucking tutu." Dave snickered.

"Okay, okay, I wasn't going to force you, Karks, relax. We'll just keep it, see if we can sell it later or something." He walked back over to Karkat and took his hand again as the troll begrudgingly nodded and put his phone back in his pocket. Dave lead the way out of the cave and they stepped back into the chilly water, wading across the pool as the hidden cave closed behind them.

The falling rocks splashed angrily into the water beside them, but by some miracle they were both spared from being hit by them, and were soon on the other side. Dave stepped out of the water and shook his legs out, his shins breaking out in goosebumps from the chill. He and Karkat stopped to put their shoes back on, then carried on down the road.

The air suddenly changed as they moved away from the falls. It became eerily, uncomfortably silent, until their footsteps sounded too loud. It got colder, too; the tense air reminded Dave of the forest, before they'd met Sans. The light was suddenly wonky, too, their shadows thrown ahead of them by the glowing stones in the wall.

"I don't like this..." Karkat muttered, eyeing a stand of tall reeds they were approaching; there was no way around them, Dave saw. They grew over the entirety of the path.

"Took the words right out of my mouth, babe." Dave agreed, squeezing his fingers comfortably as he reached out with his free hand to push the reeds aside. The two of them waded through the tall grasses, before Karkat suddenly jerked Dave to a stop. "What-?" Dave began, before Karkat's hand clapped over his mouth.

"Shut it. Look up on the cliff." Karkat breathed. Dave jerked his head up as Karkat dropped his hand again.

Up on the wall above them- the cliff, as Karkat had called it- was a figure, their back turned to the grasses below. Dave couldn't make out much, only that it was a hulking figure in armor, a red plume of what he guessed were feathers sticking out of the top. Instinctively, Dave crouched at the sound of approaching footsteps, and he pulled Karkat down with him.

"H- hi, Undyne! I'm here with my daily report." The joltingly familiar, high voice of Papyrus said. Looking up, Dave could just make out the skeleton's skull and shoulders from where they crouched; if he stood he could probably see more, but he wasn't willing to move just yet. "Um... Regarding that human I called you about earlier," Papyrus continued nervously. There was a scuffle, and Dave saw the figure- Undyne- had turned to look at Papyrus, muttering something too low for them to hear. "Did- did I fight them?" Papyrus repeated, taken aback, "W- well, yes! Of course I did! I fought them valiantly!"

Karkat scoffed quietly in Dave's ear, and he missed whatever Undyne said.

"Did- did I capture them?" Papyrus repeated, "W- well- well, I- ... No. I tried very hard, Undyne, but in the end... I failed." He admitted nervously; Dave could see him hang his skull in shame, only to jerk it back up in shock as Undyne said something; Dave couldn't hear them, but he could almost feel the anger in their voice. "What?" Papyrus gasped, "You're going to take the human's Soul yourself? But- But Undyne, you don't h- have to destroy them!" Papyrus stepped forward, closer to Undyne, "For you see-" He stopped as Undyne rounded on him. He stepped back quickly, audibly swallowing. "... No, I understand. I'll help you in any way I can." Papyrus said quietly, sounding defeated, before quickly walking away.

Karkat and Dave looked at each other, both of them holding their breaths and waiting. Thirty seconds of silence passed, and Dave inclined his head towards the edge of the reeds.

"_Let's get out of here._" He mouthed. Karkat nodded, gesturing for him to go. Dave shuffled around and began moving through the reeds carefully, but the traitorous rushes rattled with their movements.

Loud footsteps sounded above and they both froze, Dave jerking his head up to look; his heart nearly stopped as he saw the helmeted face of Undyne staring right at him through the grass. His breath hitched as they extended their hand and a fucking _spear_ appeared in their grip, glowing with a blue energy.

They raised their arm back, looking prepared to throw it into the grass, before they paused. After a moment, their spear vanished and they stepped back. Dave didn't dare move until he heard their footsteps fade away completely.

Only then did he let out his breath. Without waiting for them to come back, he pulled Karkat through the grass.

They stepped out of the underbrush and looked at one another; Karkat's eyes were dark with an unreadable expression, but Dave understood him perfectly. He swallowed heavily and looked around; there was a Save Point just ahead of them. Karkat noticed it, too, and made his way towards it, as the reeds rustled again. Dave paused and turned to see the little monster kid from Snowdin poke their head out of the grasses, before they stepped out and grinned at him.

"Yo, did you see the way she was staring at you? That was _awesome!_ I'm soooo jealous! What'd you do to get her attention? Haha. Come on, let's go watch her beat up some bad guys!!" They cried, running past Dave before he could say anything. Their poncho flapped as they suddenly tripped over their own feet in their excitement, faceplanting into the dirt.

"Oh, shit, you-" Dave began, moving forward to help, but the kid eagerly picked themself up and scampered off before he could finish. He watched them go, before he looked up at Karkat, who was staring up at the cliff side. "Karkles? You good?"

"Uh-huh." Karkat turned away and strode after the kid. Dave followed, a sinking feeling in his chest; Karkat was being quiet. It was never a good thing when Karkat was quiet like that. He could feel tension building like a gathering storm, and he feared he'd be the one caught in the middle of the downpour when it finally burst.


	21. Chapter 21

The hall the boys were walking down suddenly stopped before a deep, expanse of water. To their left was a small, open room, where four large, leafy, uprooted plants sat. Dave paused as he noticed a glowing sign on the wall:

**"When four Bridge seeds align in the water, they will sprout."** It informed him.

He frowned in thought and turned back to the plants. Meanwhile, Karkat walked to the edge of the water and peered down into it, staring at his reflection, as Dave walked up to the first plant.

A pink flower bulb sat among the large leaves, he saw as he carefully picked up the first one. It was surprisingly heavy, the weight of a backpack full of books, and had a rich, earthy smell to it. He carried it over to the water and carefully set it in the pool. The plant seemed to shiver, before it drifted to the far side and stuck there. Encouraged, he repeated the motion with the other three plants.

They lined up together, their leaves weaving with one another like the plants were holding hands. Once the fourth one was in place, the bulbs suddenly swelled and burst open, bright pink flowers blooming over the leaves. The petals overlapped, until they'd created a solid-looking surface across the water.

"Whoa." Dave breathed, impressed. Karkat glanced up and marched across the flowers without a word. Dave sighed softly and followed, carefully treading over the petals as he hurried after the moping troll. Let him mope, he told himself, he's been through a lot. Still, it was frustrating that he wasn't even trying anymore.

As they approached another expanse of water- this one had an actual bridge already across it, and a small island with a sign on it floating in the middle-, a monster burst from under the water's surface and flew at them. Dave stepped forward, his Soul emerging eagerly.

Before him stood a half horse, half eel... man, with abs that went on for miles, and biceps the size of Dave's head.

"He looks like Equius." Karkat said from behind Dave as the blonde reached out and hit Check:

_Aaron- 7 ATK 2 DEF_   
_This seahorse has a lot of HP (Horsepower)  
All of his attacks are harder to dodge from a distance._

"Check all you want~!" Aaron nickered in a horse voice, winking, as he threw his arms out and flexed dramatically. His fists swung for Dave in a wide arch, and Dave ran forward, ducking under his arms to avoid them.

"Nah," He said to Karkat as he jumped away, "More like Equius' fursona." He reached out and hit Flex, before pulling up his sleeve and doing just that; Dave was a skinny guy, sure, but he wasn't in any way lacking in the muscle department. His bicep bulged quite a bit when he clenched his fist. He couldn't help noticing Karkat watching him out of the corner of his eye, the trolls ears going red. Aaron perked up excitedly.

"Flexing contest? Okay, you're on!" He purred, flexing one arm while the other stuck into the air. He tensed his stomach, making his abs pop as sweat and water collected off his body and flew at Dave like bullets. Dave again ran forward, where the bullets were fewer, but that didn't stop one from searing across his shoulder.

"Fuck! Ow!" He swore, his HP dropping to 16. He hissed, rubbing the aching arm; he wasn't bleeding, but it felt like it was burning. Gritting his teeth, he stood up and pulled up his shirt, tensing his stomach to show off his own abs. Aaron started sweating harder, visibly excited.

"Nice. I won't lose, though!" He crooned, winking again. He swung his tail around and flexed the muscles along it as he puffed out his chest, before he attacked once more with his sweaty bullets. Dave managed to avoid them this time, rolling to the side and pulling up his pant legs, to show off his calf muscles. Aaron- and Karkat- gawked. "Oh my!" Aaron whinnied, flexing himself back into the water and dropping thirty gold on the way.

Dave laughed as his Soul faded, scooping up the gold. He jumped as Karkat suddenly grabbed his arm, twisting it around so he could look at the burn. The troll scowled at the red, puffy skin.

"Hey, don't worry about it, babe. I'll go back to the Save." Dave assured him, removing the trolls fingers. He kissed Karkat's knuckles, before he turned and jogged back across the flower bridge. He reached the Save and restored himself to full HP, before he made his way back. When he got back to the bridge, he realized Karkat was missing. "Karkles?" He called.

"Over here." The trolls' voice called. Dave hurried across the bridge, and saw the ground turned towards the left, more water bordering the sides; there was even a waterfall tumbling to the troll's left. There were more bridge seeds, too, and a few clusters of glowing mushrooms. Karkat was near the far wall, reading another sign. Beside it, a golden bell hung.

As Dave approached, a monster suddenly scuttled in front of him, his Soul bursting from his chest to meet it as he jumped back in surprise.

It looked like a turtle, with a bucket full of water as a shell. A little yellow, rubber duck floated in the water, the creature's tail wagging furiously.

"Aw. hey little guy." Dave smiled, pressing Check:

_Woshua- 7 ATK 1 DEF_   
_This humble germophobe seeks to cleanse the whole world._

"The bird is my friend." Woshua said in an almost child-like voice, before the water in his bucket burst forth and flew at Dave, boiling hot and steaming in the cool air.

"Whoa fuck-" Dave jumped to the side to avoid the spray, before turning and hitting Clean. Woshua perked up, grinning excitedly.

"Green means clean!" He crowed, boiling water spraying once more, in a more frenzied manor.

Dave saw the 'green' Woshua meant; like Vegetoid's glowing vegetables, Some of the water glowed with a greenish light. Dave leaped for it, managing to catch it in his hands; it didn't burn, like he expected it to, and smelled very heavily like soap, before vanishing from his palms. Woshua danced around happily, his name now yellow. Dave smiled again as he spared him. Woshua backed down and dropped twenty five gold, before turning and quickly waddling away. Dave picked up the gold and walked up to Karkat, who'd turned to watch the fight before turning away again. Dave glanced up at the sign:

**"If a mistake is made, the Bell Blossom can call Bridge seeds back to where they started."**

That's helpful, he thought, turning to eye the water next to them; the ground jutted out in an awkward, zigzag way, making it impossible to lay all four out in a row straight across. Maybe he could go sideways? He hesitated, looking around for further clues, and noticed the sign that was sat on the little island near the bridge. Perking up, he grabbed the first plant and moved towards the water.

Three plants later, the flowers bloomed for him, creating a bridge to the little island, and he eagerly moved to see the sign:

"**Congratulations! You failed the puzzle!**"

Dave laughed. "A'ight, fair enough." He told the sign, walking back across the flowers. As he hit solid ground again, he noticed Karkat standing to his right, watched the water flow through a gap in the wall. "What's up, man?" He asked. Karkat pointed through the gap.

"More secrets." Was all he said. Dave nodded, going over to the Bell Blossom. A thick, knotted rope hung from the bottom and he grabbed it, shaking it back and forth. The bell tolled deeply, the sound echoing around the cavern. Dave glanced over his shoulder and, sure enough, the Bridge seeds had reappeared on the ground. Picking one up, he walked over to the water Karkat was looking at and released them one by one.

It caught him by surprise as the first plant stuck to _something_, and the others followed suit. Once they'd bloomed, Dave lead the way across, with Karkat at his heels. The thing the plants stuck to turned out to be a dock, which lead to a little hidden room, with nothing but an old bench and an echo flower. Dave walked over to the flower and nudged it.

"I just... wasn't ready for the responsibility." It whispered morosely, in a familiar voice; at the moment, though, Dave couldn't place it.

"Dave." Karkat said behind him. Turning, Dave saw Karkat on his knees by the bench, pulling something out from underneath. He stood up and revealed something wrapped in tin-foil, which he peeled away to reveal a quiche. It vanished into their inventory, and Karkat opened it up to read:

_"Abandoned Quiche"- Heals 34 HP_   
_A psychologically damaged spinach egg pie._

It suddenly clicked with Dave who the voice belonged to.

"Keep it, we should put it in the next box." He said.

Karkat nodded and tucked his phone away, turning and leading the way back across the bridge. Dave rounded the corner, ready to go ring the bell, and saw that four more Bridge seeds had already appeared for him. Surprised but pleased, he picked up the first one and approached the jagged ground. He walked out onto the edge of one part and set the flower down. It drifted up to the waterfall and stuck, so he quickly set the other three loose.

They bloomed, and Dave was delighted to see they'd connected to two parts of the separated ground.

"Karks, I got it! Come on!" He called, walking over to the bridge. Karkat followed him without a word, and they stood before an archway once they hit solid ground again. They were walking towards it when Karkat's phone rang. Startled, he pulled it out.

"Toriel?" He asked, sounding hopeful; Dave's heart leaped with his own hope, and he realized with a pang that he hadn't even thought of the goat woman in a while.

"Who? No, this is Papyrus!" The skeleton's voice cried through the speaker. Both boys tensed and looked at one another.

"How did you get my number?" Karkat asked him, his voice cold.

"It was easy! I just dialed every number sequentially until I got yours! Nyehehehe!" Papyrus explained happily. Karkat rolled his eyes, before Papyrus continued. "So... what are you wearing?" He asked, trying to sound casual.

"... What?"

"I'm- I'm asking for a friend. She thought she saw you wearing a bandanna. Is that true? Are you wearing a bandanna?" Papyrus asked quickly. Karkat hesitated, glancing at the Manly Bandanna still tied around his wrist.

"... No." He lied.

"So you aren't wearing a bandanna... got it! You're my friend, so I trust you one hundred percent! Have a nice day!" Papyrus said cheerily, before he hang up. Karkat looked up at Dave.

"You... should probably change." Dave said after a moment.

"Into what? All we have is-" Karkat stopped, his eyes going wide. "No! No, fuck no, I'm not wearing the fucking tutu, Dave!" He snapped. Dave put up his hands in surrender.

"Fine, but you can't go armorless, either." He pointed out. Karkat scowled, his lips scrunching together angrily.

"... Fucking- _fine_. Turn around." He snarled. Dave held in a sigh as he pointedly turned his back; he and Karkat were naked around one another all the damn time, but whatever. He stared at the wall as he heard shuffling behind him, and Karkat muttering a few choice swears of aggravation. "There." Karkat growled at last, and Dave turned back.

"Where is it?" Dave asked, confused; Karkat looked the same, just without the bandanna.

"It's under my sweater, okay? I stuck the fucking skirt down my pants. Like hell I'm going to wear it on the outside." He pulled up his sweater briefly to reveal the bright pink leotard over his stomach.

"Oh, that's clever." Dave assured him. Karkat huffed and turned away, marching off through the arch. Dave finally let out a sigh and went after him.

He came up short, however, as they entered another hall. His breath was taken away as he looked up at the cavern ceiling; thousands of crystals and gems glittered like stars above them, some of them glowing with their own light. It was gorgeous, he thought, staring until his neck began to ache. He finally lowered his gaze and looked around the rest of the hall; echo flowers dotted the ground, and another sign hung on the wall:

**"Wishing Room."**

Walking up to the nearest echo flower, Dave touched it gently.

"A long time ago, monsters would whisper their wishes to the stars in the sky. If you hoped with all your heart, your wish would come true. Now, all we have are these sparkling stones on the ceiling." It murmured. Dave blinked, suddenly overcome with emotion; they didn't have the stars down here. There were probably generations of monsters who'd never seen the stars. That thought nearly broke his heart, and he quickly backed away, going to the next flower, Karkat trudging at his heels.

"Thousands of people wishing together can't be wrong! The king will prove that." It whispered. He turned away, a weird blur in his vision, as he walked to the next one.

"C'mon, sis! Make a wish!" the flower said softly, in a young girl's voice.

The one next to it responded even quieter, "I wish my sister and I will see the real stars someday..."

Dave swallowed, his throat tight. "Karks- they've never even seen the stars." He whispered, just as soft as the flowers. Karkat was silent, tipping his head back to look at the crystals again.

".... Come on." He said finally, turning away. Dave nodded, blinking, and turned to see a telescope nearby, where the road split. Beyond the telescope was another echo flower, and Dave stepped forward to listen.

"Ah... seems my horoscope is the same as last week's." It mumbled.

Dave shook his head, mildly amused, and turned around to see Karkat heading for the split in the road. He hurried after him, and it lead them to a dead end. There was nothing but a stone wall before them. After a moment's hesitation, Karkat reached out and touched the wall. The stone trembled, before a part of it slid away, revealing a doorway, and the boys ducked inside.

They stepped out onto a wide bridge that stretched out over dark waters. Along the wall at the far side of the room, ancient-looking writing was carved into the wall. To their left, a short dock stood out, empty of boats or anything else. Cattails and tall grass grew out of the water, rustling faintly in a breeze that went across the water's surface.

Curious about the writing, Dave moved forward to read:

"**The War of Humans and Monsters**." It began. Dave and Karkat walked down the bridge, Dave reading aloud as they went, "**Why did the humans attack? Indeed, it seemed they had nothing to fear. Humans are unbelievably strong. It would take the Soul of nearly every monster just to equal the power of a single human Soul.**

**But humans have one weakness. Ironically, it is the strength of their Soul. Its power allows it to ****persist outside the human body, even after death. If a monster defeats a human, they can take its Soul. A monster with a human Soul... is a horrible beast with unfathomable power.**"

They reached the end of the bridge, then, where the writing stopped. All that was left of the carvings was a depiction of a strange monster; the image sent an unsettled feeling down Dave's spine. He turned away, pondering over the words he'd read, when he noticed a raft tied to the end of the bridge. He moved towards it, but paused as Karkat didn't follow, still looking at the drawing.

"Karkat?" He called the troll's name, and the boy jumped, whirling around. He was expressionless as he moved towards the raft.

Both he and Dave climbed onto it, and Dave untied the ropes. The raft lurched, and began to move without prompting, gliding smoothly across the water. Dave took Karkat's hand almost without thinking, as they were pressed against one another on the tiny boat.

Finally, he saw another bridge up ahead, and the raft drifted to a stop beside it. Dave stepped up first, then turned and helped pull Karkat up beside him. The raft began drifting away again.

Now that neither of them were talking, Dave realized how still the air was; not even the water made a sound. If there was such a thing as foreshadowing in real life, he thought, this was it. The creeping sensation of dread returned as he turned to look down the long bridge. Pillars of stone lined the walkway to their left, and there was no telling what was waiting to jump out at them.


	22. Chapter 22

Dave and Karkat started down the bridge with Dave in the lead. He glanced at each pillar as they passed; the lighting here made him jump at every shadow, and he was just _waiting_ for something to appear. The smell of old water and stone filled his nose as he took a shaky breath in an attempt to steady his nerves. The water below their feet burbled quietly, the reeds whispering to one another as they passed. He forced himself to not look at the water; he knew he might see something he didn't want to. He kept his eyes on the pillars.

The soft hiss of metal was the only warning he had.

"Fuck!" He shouted as a glowing blue spear practically materialized in front of him, embedded where he'd just been standing. Whirling around, his heart dropped to his feet as he saw the figure of Undyne, half hidden in the shadows, more spears appearing around her before they flew towards them. "Fuck, run!" Dave grabbed Karkat's hand and went for it.

Spears hailed on the deck behind them, just barely missing their fleeing heels. Karkat was shouting, but the fearful thrum of his own heartbeat was all Dave could hear.

All the sudden, Karkat's hand was jerked from his grasp, and he heard him scream.

"Karks!" he whirled around and saw Karkat's leg had been ripped through by one of the spears. The troll had fallen to the ground, his leg bleeding profusely as he writhed in agony. More spears were coming fast as Dave ran back to his boyfriend. He grabbed him heaving him to his feet as the troll screamed again, tears racing down his cheeks.

Dave scooped him into his arms and ran for it, Karkat's claws digging into his back as he clung on. More spears thudded into the bridge, and Dave bellowed as he felt one thrust into his shoulder; his shirt turned hot and sticky as his blood burst from the wound, but he couldn't stop. Pain buzzed up his shoulder like electricity with every movement and he wanted to scream.

He kept running, his vision blurred with tears of his own.

One, two more spears struck his back, embedding in his flesh and _hooking_ there, sticking there with barbs.

The force of them slamming into him made him fall. Blinded by the agony, he tripped over his own feet and fell, Karkat falling from his arms.

The troll was screaming for him, and he felt his hands on him.

"Get up! Dave, get up, come on!" He grabbed Dave under the arms and began dragging him away.

Dave couldn't respond, couldn't _think_, the pain was too much, too bad, he couldn't move-

Karkat looked around desperately, and saw a stand of tall grasses up ahead. Bleeding heavily, limping horribly, the pain in his leg making him sob, he dragged his wounded boyfriend into it, praying it would work, praying they could hide.

He collapsed beside Dave, shaking, barely aware that the spears in both of them had vanished. He clutched the blonde boy, curling around him.

Dave managed to raise his head and grab him back, as they heard the heavy footfalls of Undyne approaching. It took everything Dave had to hold in his sobs of pain as he twisted around to see Undyne stop and look around.

She stepped into the reeds, no more than mere inches beside them. Dave could've reached out and touched her foot as she stood before them.

Suddenly she flung out her arm, grabbing for something, and the boys froze with fear. Undyne raised her arm, and both boys saw the dragon kid that'd been following them around, clutched in her grasp. Undyne paused, before she lowered them back into the grass with a noise that sounded close to a "Sorry."

She looked around once more, before turning on her heel and marching away.

Neither of them moved until it was silent again, and Dave managed to push himself off Karkat, looking up at him.

"Karkat?" He croaked, before he glanced down, "Your leg-"

Karkat's pant leg was soaked with crimson, but the troll shook his head.

"I'm okay." He rasped, tears tracking down his face. He impulsively grabbed Dave and pulled him into a hug, making Dave cry out as pain shot up his spine like someone had pressed a hot poker to his nerves. Karkat gasped and let him go.

"I'm sorry-!" He sat back, blinking at Dave, before his eyes over-filled with red, and he burst into tears. "I'm sorry I'm so sorry Dave I'm s- so sorry I-" He sobbed, covering his face with his hands, "I fucked up Dave I'm so sorry I'm so sorry this is all my fucking fault, we're going to fucking die down here and it's all my_ goddamn fault_\- I shouldn't have brought us here, I didn't mean to, I fucked up- I- I- it's all my fault, just like the game like the _fucking_ game- I f- fucked up then and killed us all and now I'm doing it again I can't _do_ it again Dave I'm so sorry- now you're hurt and you're bleeding you're covered in blood and some monster is chasing us but I'm supposed to save them?! I can't Dave I _can't_\- last time I was the leader everyone _died_ I'm going to kill them all again- F- F- Flowey was right-" He was a jabbering mess, his face soaked with sweat and tears, his whole body wracked with grief-heavy sobs.

Dave couldn't find the strength to answer. He managed to roll over, press his stomach to the cool dirt, and stare up at Karkat. His shirt was sticky and hot with blood, but he didn't think he was bleeding anymore. Who knew how much HP he had left. He only reached up and grabbed the hem of Karkat's sweater, sighing softly through his nose as he closed his eyes.

"... Karkles." He said finally. Karkat stopped his panicked gibbering and looked down at him, his whole body trembling.

"Y- yeah?"

"None of this is your fault, you idiot. It's mine, okay? I brought us here, remember? I dunno what's going on with you and the whole "human" thing, but it's gonna be okay. We'll figure it out. If you've gotta break down like this, then by all means, continue. I get it, dude." He opened his eyes, blinking at him, "I'm tryin' really hard to play it cool, but I'm freaking out too. I'm really fucking scared, Karks. We may die down here, you're right, but I'll be damned if you think I'm going down without a fight.

Flowey wasn't right about shit, he's an insane dandelion with a god complex. You and me? We're literal gods. Ain't nothing ever killed a god except another god." He pushed himself to his knees, ignoring the torturous burning in his wounds as he took Karkat's hand, the troll looking away as he hiccuped. It took everything he had to muster a dead-serious expression. "Look at me, Karkles." He reached up and cupped the troll's face, making him turn back, "I'm not giving up, and neither are you. We're gonna survive and get through this, you hear me? We've been through some serious shit, and we probably need a decade's worth of therapy, but right now all we've got is each other. That's something, right? We've got each other, and I'm not letting you quit on me, 'cause I'm not quitting on you. I love you, Karkat Vantas, and I'll be damned if I let anything pry you out of my cold dead hands." He said firmly, before he added, "So can you please hand me something to eat before I bleed out?"

Karkat hiccuped again, before he sniffled and nodded. He shakily pulled out his phone and opened the inventory. "Y- yeah- I'm so- sorry, Dave. I love you, too." He croaked, pulling out their last Cinnamon Bun and handing it over.

Dave thanked him and stuffed it into his mouth. Cinnamon-y goodness melted on his tongue and he was momentarily covered in golden light; he could feel his wounds closing, his skin itching as it rapidly healed. The blood on his shirt vanished as his HP was restored and he sighed, relieved. Karkat, meanwhile, pulled out their Unisicle and ate it, his leg covered in gold as it was mended.

The boys sat there a moment longer, before Dave raised his head.

"Ready to keep going, man?" Karkat only nodded, pushing himself unsteadily to his feet.

Dave rose with him and took his hand, before they began limping through the thick grass. Even standing up, it was still taller than Dave by nearly a foot. They finally emerged from the reeds, and were ready to press on, when the patter of footsteps sounded behind them. Turning, Dave saw the dragon kid burst out of the grasses and look around excitedly, before they looked up at Dave and Karkat.

"Yo... Did you _see_ that?! Undyne just- _touched_ me! I'm never washing my face again! Man, you guys are unlucky, if you were standing just a little bit to the left... yo, don't worry, I'm sure we'll see her again!" They babbled, before they dashed by, tripping over their own feet. They stumbled, but quickly pushed themself back up and kept going until they'd disappeared.

"If we ever see her again, it'll be too soon." Karkat muttered. Dave squeezed his hand in agreement as they headed to the next area.

The room at the end of the hall looked very familiar; there was a hole bored into the wall, near the bottom, from which a faint squeaking was emanating; beside it stood an echo flower. To the left was a table, upon which a piece of cheese sat. The cheese, however, was glazed over with a pink crystal. To the right was a Save Point, and Karkat made for it, while Dave went to the echo flower and touched it.

"Squeak." it whispered. Dave smiled softly and turned to Karkat, who was rubbing his face tiredly.

"Ready?" he asked.

"As I'll ever be." Dave told him.


	23. Chapter 23

They carried on, past the mouse hole, and stepped into the next part of the hall. Dave pulled up short, surprised to see Sans up ahead, fiddling with a telescope. Past the skeleton was a box, some sort of door, and an onion-looking creature, next to _glowing_ water. It was bright, bright blue, crystalline clear, with sparkling bubbles streaming off the surface. Eager to greet a familiar, friendly face, Dave made a beeline for Sans.

"Hey, man. Sure is nice to see you." Dave greeted him, glancing at the telescope, "What're you doing?" Sans turned and grinned at him.

"I'm thinking about getting into the telescope business." He explained, "It's normally fifty grand to use this premium telescope, but... since I know you, you can use it for free. Howzabout it?" He winked. Dave smiled.

"Hell yeah, man, lemme take a peek." Sans stepped away and motioned for him to go ahead. Dave peered through it, squeezing one eye shut, only to frown. All he could see was a pinkish-red circle. "I think the lens cap is still on, I can't see anything." He pulled back, opening his eye. Sans just grinned.

"Oh, you're not satisfied? Don't worry, I'll give you a full refund." He chuckled. Dave blinked, before he grinned back.

"Wow, you're a very generous business man." He laughed. Sans shrugged, clacking his teeth together as Dave turned away.

While Dave and Sans had been talking, Karkat had walked over to the box and had been depositing their items. He looked up as Dave came closer, and pursed his lips to stifle a laugh.

"Dave, you, uh. You've got something on your face." Karkat told him; he still sounded tired and a little emotionless, but he at least looked better. Dave reached up and touched his cheeks, confused.

"I do?" Karkat nodded and handed him the phone.

"Take a look."

Dave held up the phone, the screen black so he could look at his reflection; around his eye- the one he'd pressed to the telescope- was a pinkish-red circle. He stared, before he turned and looked back at Sans, who met his eye and winked. Despite everything, a laugh bubbled into Dave's chest as he reached up to rub the paint away. He smeared it on his pants nonchalantly, blinking.

"Did I get it?" He asked Karkat, passing the phone back. A small, very small smile crept across the troll's features and he reached up and cupped Dave's face, carefully brushing his thumb over Dave's eye. The blonde closed his eyes, turning and pressing his lips against Karkat's palm. The faintest, softest purr started to life in Karkat's chest, and he pulled his boyfriend downwards, pressing his lips against his gently.

"Now you did." Karkat said when he released him. Dave's ears were burning as he straightened up, unable to help the idiotic grin that crawled across his face.

"Cool." He managed to say, his voice cracking slightly; every time Karkat was the one who initiated affection, it turned him into a mess. The troll only hummed, turning towards the doorway next to them, and Dave followed after, his head still spinning a little.

They entered a narrow hallway, which quickly widened into a broad room. On the right was another box, and to the left- was the Nice Cream bunny! On the far wall was what looked like ancient writing, but it'd been painted over with a menu of Nice Cream flavors. The bunny sighed unhappily as they approached.

"I've relocated my store, but there are still no customers..." He lamented, presumably to himself, before he cracked open an eye at them and perked up, his ears sticking straight up in excitement, "Fortunately, I've thought of a solution! Punch cards! Every time you buy a Nice Cream, you can take a punch card from the box." He gestured to the box he'd set out, "If you have three cards, you can trade them for a free Nice Cream! They're sure to get the customers to come back!" He beamed proudly, standing up straight, "Now then! Nice Creams; the frozen treats that warm your heart, now just twenty five gold! How about it?"

Karkat nodded. "Sure, I'll take three." He handed over the money, and got the treats in return.

"Super, here you go! Your punch cards are in the box!" The bunny said cheerily. Karkat turned and went to the box, drawing out the cards before walking back.

"Here." He held out the three cards, and the Nice Cream man purred.

"You got three cards! Here you go!" He took the cards and handed Karkat a fourth Nice Cream, "Have a super-duper day!"

"You too." Karkat moved away, and Dave waved to the bunny as he followed him back out. They turned to carry on towards the water, when the onion-looking creature looked up at them; he was literally like an onion with legs, and a pair of black, soulless eyes.

"What's a star? Can you touch it? Can you eat it? Can you kill it?" He rasped with no discernible mouth, before he took a step closer. "... Are you a a star?"

"What the fuck- no!" Karkat and Dave both stepped away from the thing and quickly moved around him. The onion turned to watch them go, his sightless eyes looking right through them. "Okay, _fuck _that guy." Karkat muttered under his breath as they approached the glowing pools.

The path branched out into a bridge over the water, but the boys passed it for the time being and headed for the end of the dirt road, which abruptly ended. Across a sizable gap of water, a lone, yellow bird sat on his own little patch of dry land, bobbing his head idly. Going back to the bridge- and keeping their distance from the onion thing- they wandered across it.

Dave couldn't help but gawk at the glowing trees that rose from the water's depth. They looked mystical, he thought, looking around as he and Karkat swung to the left to stay on the dry path; only for them to then turn right and head across a second bridge. The world was suddenly so brilliantly _blue_, the azure hues around him making him feel like he was on another world.

He barely noticed when they hit solid ground again again, but he did notice another echo flower growing nearby. He moved closer and touched it.

"So? Don't you have any wishes to make?" It whispered, having caught the words of a passing conversation. He wandered down to the next one and poked it gently.

"Hm... Just one, but... It's kind of stupid." It admitted softly. Dave glanced around for more flowers, and noticed Karkat standing at a crossroads. The path split in two places, and he was looking down each direction with his arms crossed.

"Which way?" He asked as Dave walked up. Dave glanced at each fork, before pointing to their right.

"Let's try that one first." he suggested. Karkat nodded, and Dave followed him, keeping an eye out for more echo flowers.

Their trail suddenly ended at a small area of ground, where only a handful of mushrooms and a stand of grasses were growing.

"Look at this." Karkat moved towards the grasses and rooted around for a moment, before he held up a pair of old ballet slippers.

"Oh, perfect, those'll match your tutu." Dave laughed. Karkat scowled as the shoes disappeared into their inventory, and he opened his phone to read:

_"Ballet Shoes"- Weapon ATK 7_   
_These shoes make you feel incredibly dangerous._

"Don't remind me of that, I'm trading it out as soon as fucking possible." He grumbled, shoving Dave's shoulder as he brushed past him. Knowing he didn't mean it, Dave snorted and turned to follow him back to the fork.

As they headed down the other path, Karkat's phone trilled. They both paused as he pulled it out.

"Hello! This is Papyrus!" The cheery skeleton called through the speaker before either of them could speak, "Remember when I asked you about clothes? Well, the friend who wanted to know... her opinion of you is very... murdery. But I bet you knew that already! And _because_ you knew that, I knew when you said: "I am not wearing a bandanna," it was really a secret code! You really meant, "I actually _am_ wearing a bandanna!" You were trying to protect yourself, while making it so I didn't have to lie! I picked up on this, and followed your plan! I told her you were not wearing a bandanna! In fact, I took it one step further! I told her you were probably wearing an old tutu! Of course, you'd never wear that, but that's the point! She won't recognize you now! And I didn't have to betray either of you! Since I just told her what you said! Wowie, you're such a smart cookie! I really _can_ be friends with everyone!"

"Uh, Papyr-" Karkat began, before the skeleton hung up on them. "... Fuck." Karkat stuck the phone away and looked up at Dave, "Now I really need to find something other than this fucking tutu." He muttered as he turned to keep going.

Dave bit the inside of his cheek; Undyne would probably try to kill him regardless of what he was wearing, he thought.

They continued to follow the road, through all its twists and turns. It was weird there was a lack of monsters about, Dave noted; the only thing they encountered after several minutes of walking were Moldsmals, and Karkat had Spared them before his Soul even fully emerged.

Finally, as they turned around another bend, he spotted an echo flower up ahead, and eagerly moved towards it.

"Don't say that! Come on, I promise I won't laugh!" it murmured.

Dave was invested in this conversation now, and he picked up his pace as he followed Karkat.

The path over all the water suddenly ended, and they were back to the grassy, dirt road. On the wall ahead were more of the ancient glyphs:

"**The power to take their Souls. This was the power the human's feared.**" It read, continuing the story from before. Karkat had stopped to read it as Dave caught up to him.

The troll pursed his lips and turned away, his eyes clouded with thoughts.

The two of them entered the next part of the hall, and Dave paused; it was quiet and still here, just like it had been before Undyne attacked. Karkat sensed it, too, grabbing Dave's hand instinctively.

"Be ready to run." Dave said under his breath as they turned and followed the road. Karkat nodded, looking around. On either side of them was a wide expanse of dark water with an unknowable depth. As they approached a bend in the path, the water suddenly shifted, rippled, and out of the dark pool emerged a pale green tentacle. Both boys froze.

"What the fuck?" Karkat whispered as the tentacle seemed to watch them. Dave backed away, tugging Karkat along with him. Both stayed quiet, hoping the thing wouldn't attack. To their relief, the tentacle didn't move, but a second one emerged on the other side of the bridge. Dave's heart jumped with fear when he saw it, and both he and Karkat sped up.

This tentacle followed them, though, before once more sinking into the water. The darkness to their left splashed and rippled violently, and they turned to face it, Karkat bracing for a fight as something _huge_ moved below the surface.

Nothing could have prepared Dave for the giant, onion-shaped head that emerged, surrounded by several more tentacles. Big, bright eyes glimmered in the dim light, the creature's mouth stretched open in a delighted grin.

"Hey... there... noticed you were... here..." It said, in a high, reedy voice, before it giggled at both boy's shocked expressions, "I'm Onionsan! Onionsan, y'hear!"

"Uh... Nice- nice to meet you." Dave stammered, as he and Karkat turned to hurry away. Onionsan followed them, though, his giant body barely making a ripple in the water's surface.

"You're visiting Waterfall, huh! It's great here, huh! You love it, huh!" He whistled.

"It's pretty cool." Dave managed to say, letting himself relax; Onionsan wasn't exactly giving off threatening vibes at the moment. The giant octopus wriggled excitedly.

"Yeah! Me too! It's my big favorite!" Onionsan chirred, grinning, before his face fell, "Even though, the water's getting so shallow here... I, have to sit down all the time, but-" he jerked his head back up, "H- hey! That's okay! Beats moving to the city and living in a crowded aquarium! ... Like all my friends did!"

"Ouch, sorry man." Dave told him sympathetically. Onionsan sank into the water a little.

"The- the aquarium's full, anyway, so even if I wanted to, I..." He mumbled, before jerked his head up, "That's okay though, y'hear! Undyne's gonna fix everything, y'hear! I'm gonna get out of here and live in the ocean! Y'hear!"

"... Sounds like a solid plan." Dave conceded, before he noticed they'd reached the end of the bridge. Onionsan noticed, too, his giant face falling.

"Hey... there... That's the end of this room." he turned and looked at the two boys, "I'll see you around! Have a good time! In waterfallllllll...." He sank into the water as he spoke, his words becoming distorted bubbles as he waved a tentacle in goodbye.

"Bye!" Dave called after him before they ducked into the next area.

He wasn't able to get a good look around, other than to see that the room branched into several paths, before a monster suddenly appeared before them. He stepped forward quickly, protectively pushing Karkat behind him.

The monster had her back to them, her arms wrapped around herself. She looked like a mermaid, with a deep blue, scaly body that ended in an iridescent tail. A line of thick spines went down her back, and a splattering of green scales graced her shoulders. Dave couldn't see her face, but she had thick, almost plant-like hair that fell around her shoulders, and a head shaped like a fish, with a little glow-bulb sticking out of the top of her head. She was shaking, Dave realized, concerned. He reached out and hit Act, where, along with Check, it gave him the options of Smile, Hum, and Conduct. He hit Check first:

_Shyren- 7 ATK 2 DEF_   
_Tone deaf. She's too ashamed to sing her deadly song._

Shyren flinched, letting out a nervous hum. A pair of music notes appeared in the air and slowly drifted towards him, but Dave only had to step to the side to avoid them.

"Aw, shit, Shy, you don't gotta be embarrassed." He said gently; his voice made her flinch again, and he lowered his volume, "I'm a musician, too, y'know? Ain't nothing to be embarrassed about. Here, lay down a song with me." He invited, reaching out and pressing Hum.

"Dave, please tell me you're not going to-" Karkat began as Dave reached up and cupped his own mouth, "Oh my god you are." The troll muttered as the blonde began a very simple, steady beat-box.

Shyren slowly turned to look at him; her face was like that of a deep sea monster, with dark eyes and needle-like teeth, but she began to quietly hum along. "Si re si re, si me si me~" She sang, nodding along to his beat.

Several music noted materialized from her mouth, and Dave quickly skirted them; he didn't stop beat-boxing the whole time he was doing so, and Shyren began to smile. Seeing her name was now yellow, Dave hit Spare and she fled, dropping thirty gold as she went.

He finally stopped and scooped up the gold as his Soul faded and he turned to Karkat, who was staring at him.

"What?"

"Nothing. That was kind of impressive, I guess." Karkat huffed, shoving his hands in his pockets. Dave smirked, looking around properly now.

The room branched to their left, but also kept going straight. On the wall between the forks was a sign:

**"The northern room hides a great treasure."** It told him.

"Oh, sweet. Let's see what that shit's all about." He beamed, turning and heading for the path to the left. Karkat, as always, followed.


	24. Chapter 24

Taking the fork in the path, the boys entered a small, dimly lit room that was empty except for a piano against the wall to their left. There was a sign on the wall to the right, and Dave stepped up to read it out loud:

**"A haunting song echoes down the corridor... won't you play along? Only the first 8 are fine."**

He turned away to see Karkat standing at the piano, looking down at the dusty keys, before he glanced up at the wall. Above the piano, there were symbols- arrows- carved into the wall. Karkat raised his hands hesitantly and touched a key. One of the arrows lit up as the note sang in the air.

"Do you know how to play piano?" Dave asked him. Karkat shrugged.

"Kinda. John taught me the scales." He said, frowning at the keys again before he turned to Dave. "I don't hear any music, do you?" Dave paused to listen; sure enough, there wasn't any music playing that he could hear. All he heard was rushing water, and the splattering of water on stone.

"Nope. Maybe we're supposed to go find it?" He suggested.

Karkat pursed his lips and nodded, following Dave back to the fork. They turned to take the main path again, and Dave saw more of the ancient glyphs on the walls:

**"This power has no counter. Indeed, a human cannot take a monster's Soul. When a monster dies, its Soul disappears. And an incredible power would be needed to take the Soul of a living monster.**

**There is only one exception. The Soul of a special species of monster called a "Boss Monster". A Boss Monster's Soul is strong enough to persist after death... if only for a few moments. A human could absorb this Soul. But this has never happened. And now it never will."**

He read them out loud again, watching Karkat tilt his head to the side in thought as the troll listened.

"So... Toriel, Papyrus, maybe Undyne... they're all Boss Monsters?" He asked.

"I don't know about Paps, but Undyne _must_ be." Dave conceded. Karkat hummed in thought as they entered the next part of the hall and drew up short.

Before them sat a statue of a monster. It had no discernible features, other than a pair of horns that curved upwards from its head. It was cracked and chipped in places, its head bowed in a quiet resolve to its fate, its paws in its lap. From the top of the cavern, water dripped steadily down onto its head, running down its back and face in little rivulets. A light from above was shown on it, throwing shadows across its blank face. Peering closer, Dave saw something held protectively in its stone claws. There was something so... sweet, almost, something so protective about it that it made Dave smile a little.

After a minute of examining it, Karkat turned and kept walking. With another glance at the statue, Dave followed.

The next part of the corridor held a basket, stuffed full with umbrellas, next to a sign that said, **"Please take one."**

"We should put one on the statue." Dave said, nodding to the umbrellas, "It might be part of the piano puzzle." Karkat nodded, striding over to the basket and pulling out the first one he grabbed- a red one- before he and Dave turned and went back to the statue.

Karkat crouched down before it, carefully sliding the umbrella into the crook of the statue's arm and resting it on top of its horns. He stepped back and they waited.

There was a pause, before the thing in the statue's hands began to make noise. Simple, gentle, soothing music notes began to fill the air. A music box, Dave realized, closing his eyes and listening. The song played for about thirty seconds, before it looped around. He nodded along, before finally opening his eyes again.

"I got it." He whispered. Karkat flinched from his voice; he'd been in his own kind of trance. He looked up at him, blinking.

"What?"

"The first eight notes. I got 'em memorized." He nodded to the music box, humming along as it replayed the song. Karkat nodded, and the two of them headed back to the piano.

Dave was the one who stood before the instrument this time. He cracked his knuckles, before he began testing the keys, listening to each note carefully. He hummed the eight notes under his breath again, nodding slowly, before he began to peck out the notes one by one. It took a few tries, but finally he managed to play all eight in the proper order.

Both of them leaped with surprise as the wall next to the piano rumbled and slid open, revealing an entry way. Sharing an excited look, Dave lead the way inside.

Before them, in a tiny room, was an altar, with a bright red, circular stone placed on top. An old sign above it simply said, "**Ancient Artifact**."

"Whoa. Should we take it?" Dave asked softly, examining the stone.

"Maybe not?" Karkat frowned, "It could be important to them."

"It could also help us break the barrier." Dave pointed out. Karkat hesitated, chewing on his lip as he glanced around the room; nothing denoted the orb as religious or anything. He nodded slowly.

"Okay, yeah, grab it." He said finally.

Dave carefully scooped up the orb, expecting it to disappear into the inventory. When it didn't he frowned and looked at Karkat, who pulled out the phone and opened the inventory:

-Spider Donut   
-Bisicle   
-Nice Cream   
-Nice Cream   
-Nice Cream   
-Nice Cream   
-Ballet Shoes   
-Annoying Dog

"Annoying Dog?" Dave repeated, bewildered. Karkat clicked on the name. In front of them, sure enough, a dog popped into existence. It was a little pomeranian, like the one that had been harassing Papyrus. It barked once, before it bound into Dave's arms, who understandably yelped and jerked away. As the dog came into contact with the red orb, it suddenly vanished. "What the fuck?" Dave gasped as the dog jumped down and raced away, "He absorbed the rock!" He spluttered, absolutely confused by what just happened.

Karkat glanced at their still open inventory; where it had previously said "Annoying Dog", it now read, "Dog Residue". He hit Info:

_"Dog Residue"- Dog Item_   
_Dirty dishes left unwashed by a dog._

"The fuck?" He echoed Dave. He shut the phone down and put it in his pocket, shaking his head. "Fucking dogs. I told you." He grumbled. Dave put his hands on his hips, thinking, before he chuckled.

"Yeah. Oh, well. Keep the residue shit, I guess. We might find someone who can explain what that's about. Let's roll." He offered Karkat his hand, and the troll took it, letting Dave lead the way.

Out of the hidden room, out the piano room, down the main road, past the statue, and back to the umbrella stand. Water had begun to drip steadily from the cavern ceiling, spattering the boy's heads and shoulders. Karkat shook his head like an irritated dog, and Dave scooped up an umbrella as they passed the basket- another red one- and opened it, holding it above him and Karkat. The troll glanced up at it, then moved closer to Dave's side, muttering a thanks.

The hall got progressively... wetter, the further they went. Puddles began to appear on the ground as the dripping water came down more steadily, like it was drizzling. The two of them splashed through the puddles, avoiding them when they could, walking in companionable silence. Even from a distance, Dave could still hear the statue's music box echo after them. Coupled with the steady patter of rain, he almost felt sleepy; a warm blanket and one of Karkat's romcoms, back home, in bed? He'd be out like a _light_.

The sound of approaching footsteps snapped him out of his longing, as the monster kid suddenly appeared up ahead; they'd been splashing in the puddles from the looks of it, the bottom of their poncho soaked. They glanced up as Dave and Karkat approached.

"Yo, you guys got an umbrella? Awesome!" They grinned. Without waiting for the boys to speak, they wormed their way under the umbrella with them. "Let's go!" They trilled. Karkat and Dave glanced at each other; Karkat rolled his eyes, but Dave just chuckled. The three of them began moving again, the monster kid humming along with the music box's song, before they looked up at Karkat. "Man, Undyne is soooooo cool." They said conversationally, "She beats up bad guys and never loses. If I was a human, I would wet the bed every night, knowing she was going to beat me up! Haha."

Karkat swallowed. "She sounds lovely." He managed to say. The hall turned sharply to the right, and the three of them turned to follow it. Silence fell again for a while, until they passed an echo flower that was growing on a ledge above them. The monster kid looked up at it.

"So, this one time, we had a school project where we had to take care of a flower. The king- we had to call him "Mr. Dreemurr"- volunteered to donate his own flowers. He ended up coming to school and teaching the class about responsibility and stuff. That got me thinking... yo, how _cool_ would it be if Undyne came to school?! She could beat up all the teachers!" They explained, bouncing on their feet excitedly.

"That doesn't sound very nice, little dude." Dave frowned. The dragon kid's face fell in thought. As they took another right, they scrunched up their face.

"Ummm, maybe she wouldn't beat up the teachers. She's too cool to ever hurt an innocent person." They said thoughtfully. Karkat snorted in disbelief, but covered it with a cough, not wanting to crush the kid's feelings.

The three of them ducked through a doorway, and entered into a vast space on top of a cliff; more of the star-like stones glimmered overhead, and a cool breeze brushed past them. Dave stepped out and looked around, only to let out a gasp.

Before them, far, _far_ in the distance, stood a castle ripped right out of a fairy tale, with a city built around it. Under the glimmering stones, it almost appeared otherworldly, exuding a presence of _power_, but also a feeling of _home_. He kept his eyes on it the whole time they were walking across the clifftop, before they once more entered a corridor. It resumed "raining" here.

Ahead, there was another basket of umbrellas, and the ground suddenly jutted into the air above them, several feet above their heads. The monster kid ran up to the ledge and frowned, tipping their head back.

"Yo, this ledge is way too steep..." They frowned, before they looked back at Karkat and Dave, "Yo, you wanna see Undyne, right? Put up your umbrella and climb on my shoulders!" They offered.

Even as they were speaking, Dave was already folding the umbrella and tucking it into the basket. He frowned at the kid's offer, though.

"Nah, little dude, we'd break your spine. I can get us up there." He assured them. He turned to Karkat. "You first, babe." He added, crouching down and knitting his fingers together, palms up, and offering them to Karkat. Karkat eyed the cliff, before he turned and put his foot in Dave's hands, putting his hands on his shoulders.

At the same time Karkat stepped up into his grip, Dave heaved himself to his feet, propelling the troll into the air. Karkat grunted as he grabbed the cliff and heaved himself onto it, Dave pushing him from below.

"Ugh." He heard the troll grumble, before his face appeared over the ledge and he reached down, offering a hand towards Dave and the kid. Dave looked at them, but they shook their head.

"Yo, don't worry about me! I always find a way to get through!" They insisted, before they turned and ran off. Just as Dave expected, they stumbled over their own feet, fell, and jumped back up before trotting off. Once they were gone, Dave turned to Karkat's still offered hand and stretched up to grab it. Feeling around for a foothold in the cliff side, he scrabbled for purchase with his free hand as Karkat pulled.

Dave managed to get a hold for his foot and, with a grunt of exertion from them both, he was suddenly bent over the cliff at the waist. From there he easily clambered up, releasing Karkat's hand to push himself to his feet.

"Thanks, babe." He huffed, brushing himself off. Karkat nodded in acknowledgement, the two of them turning to carry on.

The next part of the hall held a Save Point, which Karkat made for, as Dave glanced around. On the wall was more of the story:

**"The humans, afraid of our power, declared war on us. They attacked suddenly, and without mercy. In the end, it could hardly be called a war. United, the humans were too powerful, and us monsters, too weak. Not a single Soul was taken, and countless monsters turned to dust..."** He read. Karkat looked up, worrying at his bottom lip with his teeth again as he eyed the glyphs.

Dave turned away and looked around; before them stretched a veritable _maze_ of bridges, suspended over the darkness below. Once again, he had that sinking feeling of dread that something was waiting for them.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry there wasn't a chapter yesterday. I fully meant to do one, but then I burned my hand making pasta- it was worth it-, and couldn't type with the bandages on. My hand's fine now, though! So enjoy!

Karkat turned away from the Save Point, heading for the bridges before them, but Dave flung out his arm and stopped him.

"Wait." The Strider breathed, his eyes flicking back and forth as he swept his gaze over the bridges.

"What is it?" Karkat frowned.

"Can't you feel it? Undyne is close." Dave muttered, his eyes still searching. Karkat opened his mouth to ask how he'd know, then shut it again; of course Dave would know when an imminent attack was approaching. He turned and eyed the bridges, too.

"There's not really anywhere she could hide." He pointed out in a low voice.

"There's a second set of bridges under these; I can hear the water hitting them." Dave explained, "I'll bet anything she's down there, ready to climb up and attack as soon as we're out in the open. She wouldn't even have to kill us- if she hits the bridges with those spears, _we'll_ hit the water and it would do it for her." Karkat swallowed, his throat suddenly dry.

"Okay, so... what the fuck do we do? There isn't another way around." He asked, frustrated.

"We're gonna have to make a run for it." Dave said, clearly reluctant at the idea, "Like before. If we start out running, we might be able to stay ahead of her, and we can hide once we're clear."

Karkat chewed on his lip unhappily, before he nodded. "Okay." He took a deep breath and braced his feet as Dave lowered his arm, "Okay. Say when."

Dave swallowed, taking his own readying stance and grabbing Karkat's hand. He shut his eyes for a moment, taking a breath and holding it, before he opened his eyes and let it out.

_"Now."_

Dave's heart felt like it was bursting with each thundering hit of their shoes on the old wood. He ran like a pack of demons were snapping at his heels. He was practically dragging Karkat behind him, the shorter boy unable to keep up with his long strides.

A hum of energy filled the air around them, buzzing like furious wasps. The wood before them suddenly lit up with bright, glowing blue circles, making Dave screech to a halt. He whirled around and saw the lights appear behind them, too; they were trapped. The humming got louder, before a dozen spears thrust up out of the wood, surrounded in that same light.

"Fuck!" Karkat gasped, flinching closer to Dave. The lights faded as quickly as they had appeared, and Dave was all out hounding across the bridges again, Karkat right beside him. Below, he could hear the clomp of Undyne's boots on the lower bridges; she was chasing them.

More of the glowing circles appeared in haphazard patterns, and they either leaped over or dodged them.

One terrifying thought struck Dave as they ran for their lives; they were dashing about blindly. Neither he nor Karkat knew where they were going, but Undyne probably did. He was picking paths at random, praying it was the right way, hoping he could throw her off, begging for her to give up- but they were still running.

He was panting, his breathing ragged and pained in his dry throat. A stitch started in his side so that each step hurt, but he couldn't stop. He could hear Karkat whimpering in fear as they pelted across the groaning bridges. Sweat dripped into his eyes and he reached up to frantically wipe it away.

A jolt of hope shot through him as he and Karkat flew over a giant expanse of bridge, with a path on the far side.

"Come on!" He yelled, both at himself and Karkat as he threw himself forward desperately. Karkat was shouting something, but he'd gone deaf to everything but the buzzing energy and his own drumming feet. Blood roared in his ears, rushing like the water below them.

That was when it happened.

Blinded in his panic, he didn't see the cluster of lights that appeared below his fleeing feet, but he felt Karkat shove him out of the way.

He stumbled, tripped, fell, and was back up, whirling around, screaming the troll's name as he watched his boyfriend get ripped apart before his very eyes.

Blood sprayed from the dozen wounds, turning the blue spears purple as Karkat screeched, his eyes rolling back into his head and his blood- his bright, _bright_ cherry blood- gushing from his mouth as a dozen shafts thrust up through his skin, ripping through flesh and muscle and fabric, breaking bones and _tearing him apart_.

Karkat's HP bar popped up, and shrank from 20 to 0 in the blink of an eye.

"_**KARKAT!!**_" Dave's roar seemed to shatter the air as the troll's body began to fade, the spears withering away with it.

He froze in place, staring at where the body had been, but as blue lights gathered under his feet, he forced himself to move. He turned and ran, shoving down the feelings that threatened to overload him and make him fall. It's a game it's a game it's a game- he repeated to himself desperately as he hurled towards the end of the bridges; he's back at the Save now, he's okay, it's okay, it's gonna be okay-

He skidded to a halt as he reached the end of the bridges before him. It just stopped, suspended over a darkness that was blacker than black. He collapsed to his knees, struggling to breath, to think, to see-

The buzz of energy fell silent and all he could hear was his coughing, wheezing gasps, interrupted by hiccuping sobs that he was still fighting to keep down. He collapsed forward, his forehead slamming into the wood as he clutched himself, trembling in pain and exhaustion.

His breath hitched and froze in his chest as he heard running footsteps approaching. He jerked his head up, a snarl on his lips as he expected Undyne to appear.

Instead, illuminated by the glowing lights behind him, came Karkat. For a single, brilliant, shining, silent moment, Dave stared at that light-haloed troll was convinced he was seeing an angel. He blinked, and the illusion broke as Karkat flung himself forward.

He skidded, slid, and fell to his knees beside him, his eyes wide and glassy with fear.

"Dave? Are you hurt?!" He was demanding as Dave's hearing suddenly snapped back into place. The blonde blinked dumbly, staring up at Karkat's face. "Dave! Did she hurt you?" Karkat repeated, grabbing his shoulders.

"I-" Dave's voice broke, "N- no." He managed to croak, "I- I should be asking you, I- you were just- the blood-" He coughed. Karkat grimaced.

"Yeah. We can talk about it later, we've gotta keep going." He insisted, pushing himself to his feet. He pulled Dave up with him, and every muscle in the human's body screamed in protest.

"Y- yeah. Okay. I'm-" He rasped. He suddenly slumped forward, clutching Karkat tightly.

"Dave, we don't have time-"

"Shut up, Karkat. Just- shut up for a minute." Dave whispered, a whimper rising in his throat. His shoulders trembled, his vision blurring with hot tears as he clung to the troll like he was a lifeline. He didn't care if Undyne was standing right in front of them at the moment. His grip tightened as he finally felt Karkat's arms encircle him. He whimpered again, pressing his face into his boyfriend's shoulder.

Both of them tensed at the sound of heavy, metallic footsteps approaching. Dave raised his head and twisted around to look. Sure enough, standing between them and the rest of the bridge, was Undyne.

Dave released Karkat and whirled around, putting the troll behind him protectively as the solider materialized another spear in her hand. Before either of them could speak, Undyne moved ever so slightly.

A hail of spears struck the bridge from above, and both boys cried out as the bridge shuddered violently, the wood splintering, breaking, shattering- and it went out from under their feet, collapsing.

And they were falling.

They were screaming.

And everything went black.


	26. Chapter 26

_"It sounds like it came from over here... Oh! You've fallen down, haven't you? Are you okay? Here, get up... huh? That's a nice name. My name is...-"_

Karkat sat bolt upright as a rasping, gasping cough exploded out his chest. He shuddered violently, wrapping his arms around himself; he was freezing, his clothes soaked through with water and his skin icy. He spat out a mouthful of disgusting-tasting water and wiped his mouth on his sleeve, blinking rapidly as his eyes adjusted to the gloom.

The first thing he saw was that he'd landed, quite comfortably, on a large patch of golden flowers that were growing out the rotting remains of an old bridge. The second thing he saw was Dave, laying next to him on said flowers.

"Dave!" He gasped, scrambling to get his legs under him and crawl to his boyfriend; his every muscle ached, his whole body one big bruise as he moved. The blonde boy groaned as Karkat rolled him onto his back, and his eyes fluttered open.

"Ugh... Karks? That you?" He mumbled, reaching up to rub his eyes. He coughed, and Karkat saw that his lips were slightly blue from the chilly water.

"It's me." He replied, settling on his knees beside him. Dave took a deep breath and let out a sigh, dropping his arms to either side of his head. He squinted at Karkat.

"What the hell happened?" He croaked, slowly sitting up. He glanced around, noting all the wooden debris that floated around them, "Oh. Right."

He looked up, but the cavern ceiling was hidden behind mist and darkness, so he looked around instead.

To their left, a wide waterfall tumbled over a ledge, rumbling almost gently as it flooded into the pool- river? he wondered briefly- they'd landed in. The thrum of the noise was soothing, like distant thunder. In front of them, piles of garbage had collected against the right wall. The place smelled like wet garbage and old water, only slightly alleviated by the golden flowers.

"Are you okay?" Karkat asked him, watching him carefully. Dave looked at him, blinking.

"Am _I_ okay?" He repeated, confused. "You're the one who just got killed, Karks, I'm perfectly fine compared to you!" Karkat frowned, dropping his gaze.

"... I mean, I'm okay, too." He muttered, "I respawned, didn't I?"

"After you were ripped apart by fucking spears, yeah! How did you even get back to me?" Dave asked. Karkat snorted, before he grimaced.

"Yeah. That part hurt, but..." He shrugged, "I don't know, everything went black and then I was back at the Save. The whole time I was running back to you, Undyne couldn't even fucking touch me. I wasn't even trying to avoid the fucking spears, I was just worried about getting back to you. I'd pushed you out of the way, but I thought she'd still gotten you, so I was-" He broke off, swallowing as his throat suddenly tightened up.

Dave smiled softly. "Sorry about that." He scoot closer to Karkat and laid his head on his shoulder, and Karkat wrapped his arms around him, pressing his face into Dave's wet hair. "Sorry I got you killed." He added, reaching up to run his fingers through Karkat's own drenched locks, "But hey, we're even now, right? We've both died once now."

"We've died way more times than that." Karkat grumbled, making Dave chuckle.

"Only once since we got here, then." He corrected himself. Karkat huffed, but didn't argue.

After another minute, he finally took a deep breath and raised his head, looking around.

"I guess we should keep going, huh?" He said at last.

"Mngh. Yeah." Dave pulled away from the troll and pushed himself to his feet, before turning and offering Karkat a hand. Karkat took it, groaning as he stood up with him.

Hand in hand, with Dave in the lead, the two of them stepped off the flowers. Dave yelped as he plunged into the deceptively shallow-looking water. It rose to his stomach! He quickly scrambled back onto the flowers, startled, before he laughed at himself.

It felt good to laugh, he thought, so he did it again, until he was giggling uncontrollably. Karkat stared at him.

"What the fuck got into you?" He asked, bewildered. Dave snickered.

"I dunno, man. Maybe I've finally gone crazy down here." He suggested. He moved to the edge of the flowers and slid off them again. Knowing what to expect, it wasn't as shocking as the chilly water rose to his torso. He looked up at Karkat thoughtfully. "Wanna get on my back, shortstuff?" He offered.

"I'm like, four inches shorter than you, Dave." Karkat rolled his eyes.

"Six inches." Dave corrected him, "I'm six feet, and you're tiny."

"_You're_ tiny. Six inches is bigger than what you've got." The troll hissed, kneeling down and sliding into the water; it rose to his chest.

"Now you know that ain't true." Dave pouted, wading closer to his grumpy boyfriend and scooping him up. Karkat growled halfheartedly at him, but allowed Dave to shift him onto his back. He wrapped his arms around the blonde's neck, and his legs around his waist. He laid his head on his shoulder, huffing.

"... Thanks, Dave." he muttered finally.

"No problem, babe. I love you, too." Dave chuckled, turning and beginning to wade through the water.

He glanced at the trash piles as they passed, before he saw a familiar glimmer up ahead. Sure enough, as they reached a place where the pool tumbled down into its own waterfall, a Save Point was sat on an anchored raft. Karkat perked up as Dave waddled closer, reaching past the human's shoulder to Save for them.

Surrounded by golden light, Dave felt warmth wash through his limbs as all his aches and pains were healed. He sighed contently, and heard Karkat echo him. Once the glow faded, Dave turned and sploshed on.

The river turned to their left, so he turned to follow. They wandered past more trash heaps, and Dave noted that the water was getting shallower; it dropped from his stomach, to his hips, to mid-thigh, but he didn't bother to put Karkat down; poor dude was probably tuckered out from dying, and then nearly dying again. Besides, he liked carrying the grumpy troll.

Dave saw a rusted bike sticking out of the water ahead of them. When they were beside it, he reached out and squeezed the horn mounted on the handles. It wheezed a wet honk of despair, and Karkat's head jerked up at the sound, alert. Seeing the bike, though, he laid his head back down. Dave blinked, confused, before he realized what the mutant had been looking for; a certain purpleblooded morail.

He nuzzled his cheek against Karkat's head comfortingly as he trawled on. Not much further ahead, he was surprised to see an old, beat up, desktop computer, the wires and internal workings gutted from it. Beyond that, was a bright orange, plastic cooler that appeared to be in one piece. He couldn't see a brand name on it, and curiously popped it open. Inside were a bunch of freeze-dried snacks.

"Hey, Karks, we got any room in our inventory?" He asked.

"No, it's full of Nice Cream. Why?" The troll raised his head and looked over Dave's shoulder to look at the snacks. "Oh. Maybe we can come back for them." He looked around, before he pointed ahead of them. "What's that?"

Dave followed his finger and saw a bright, red and pink DVD case, the edges covered in desperate-looking scratches. He moved closer and scooped it up.

"Mew Mew Cutie: Attack of the Dark Kitties." He read aloud.

"What the fuck?" Karkat asked.

"I think it's an ancient anime. Dirk would love this." Dave turned it over, but the back cover was ruined from the water. Frowning, he dropped it back into the water and looked around once more. "Yo, check it out, Karkles."

Ahead of them was a dummy; it looked just like the one from back in the Ruins, except wet. Dave shuffled up to it and the two of them stared at it for a moment.

"... Weird." Karkat said finally, and Dave turned away, humming in agreement.

They shuffled on, but didn't get far before a noise made Dave turn back.

The dummy was shaking.

"What the-?" He began, before the dummy plummeted into the water- which only rose to Dave's knees now, so how it did that, he didn't know- only to splash back out in front of them. Dave jumped back, startled, as the dummy hovered several feet above them. "What the fuck?!" He repeated, shouting. The dummy cackled, its stitched mouth ripping open as its eyes gleamed with life.

"Too intimidated to fight me, huh?!" It snarled, "I am a ghost that lives inside a dummy! My cousin used to live inside a dummy, too, until..." It focused its gaze on Karkat, "_you_ came along! When you talked to them, they thought they were in for a nice chat, but the things you _said!_ Horrible! Shocking! _Unbelievable!_ It spooked them right out of their dummy! Human! I'll scare your Soul out of _your_ body!"

The fabric of the dummy's body suddenly went red and it flew at them. Karkat sat up, his Soul bursting forth to meet it.

"Dave, put me down!" He ordered, and Dave complied; seeing as the water was a little shallower, it came up to Karkat's thigh. The troll reached out and hit Check:

_Mad Dummy- 7 ATK -40 DEF_   
_Because they're a ghost, physical attacks will fail._

"Pitiful! Pitiful! PITIFUL!" The Mad Dummy hissed. In the air, several smaller dummies appeared, spitting what looked like wads of cotton. Karkat ducked them, having to run towards the Mad Dummy to avoid the worst of it. The cotton wads flew right over his head and struck the big Dummy, who spasmed in pain. "Ow ow oww!! You dummies! Watch where you're aiming your Magic Attacks!" it cried, before it froze, a flash of panic in its glassy eyes, "... Hey, you! Forget I said anything about magic!" it snapped at Karkat.

Karkat drew up, surprised, before a gleeful, sadistic grin uncurled across his face. He reached out and hit Spare, making Mad Dummy scowl. More of the tiny dummies appeared and attacked again, and Karkat eagerly splashed forward, ducking and letting the cotton wads strike the Mad Dummy.

The Mad Dummy growled, frustrated. "I'll take your Soul, human! And I'll use your Soul to cross the barrier!" it cried, beginning to bob back and forth in the air. Karkat hit Spare again. "I'll stand in the window of a fancy store!" It continued as a few cotton wads struck both it and Karkat. The troll cried out as the balls stuck to him, before they began to eat through his clothes and skin like acid. Just as soon as it began, though, the wads vanished, cutting him down to 13 HP.

"Motherfuck-" He hissed in pain, slapping Spare again.

"Then everything I want will be mine!" The Dummy crowed as the tiny dummies attacked once more. Once more, Karkat managed to get the acidic cotton to strike the Mad Dummy, before he pulled a Nice Cream from the Items.

"And that's going to avenge your cousin.... fucking how?" He demanded, shoving the ice cream bar into his mouth; his HP maxed back out as the Mad Dummy blinked.

"Huh? Yeah, I guess it'll avenge them." It said distractedly. A row of tiny dummies materialized, before they flew at Karkat like missiles. He dropped into the water with a heavy splash to avoid them, before scrambling forward and rolling as another line of them spit cotton. Karkat hit Spare. "What was their name again...?" Mad Dummy asked no one, frowning, barely paying attention as its little dummies assaulted Karkat, who barely managed to avoid the swooping dummies in time to dodge the cotton.

The troll was panting, swearing under his breath as he punched Spare again. "Really? You can't even fucking remember their name?!" He snapped. The Mad Dummy scowled.

"Whatever! Whatever, _WHATEVER!_" It snapped back, more of its missile-like companions soaring towards the troll. Karkat spun away from them, leaping forward and swerving from the cotton balls so they struck the Mad Dummy again. He slapped Spare as he jumped back. "You're feeble, feeble, FEEBLE!" The Dummy taunted as the troll was forced to repeat his dance, "It's futile, futile, FUTILE!!"

"God, will you shut the ever-loving fuck up?!" Karkat shouted, angrily hitting Spare and once more twisting about. As the next wave of cotton wads hit it, the Mad Dummy froze.

"Hey, guys!" It yelled. Dozens of the little dummies appeared, looking up at their leader expectantly. Karkat froze; he was surrounded, he realized as the Mad Dummy continued, "Dummies! Dummies, DUMMIES! Remember how I said _not_ to shoot me?! Well... FAILURES! You're all _fired_! You're all being replaced!" It screeched. The little dummies looked at one another, before they vanished again. Mad Dummy looked around, before it cackled, focusing on Karkat again. "Now you'll see my true power: relying on people that aren't garbage!" It hissed.

Karkat took a step back in surprise as mechanical whirs began to fill the air. Glancing at Dave, who had moved back a ways to give him space, he reached out and hit Spare.

"Dummy bots! Magic missile!" The Mad Dummy cried. The tiny dummies that materialized were robots, Karkat saw, before equally tiny missiles were spat out of their mechanical mouths.

"Fuck fuck fuck-!!" Karkat shouted as the darts chased him. He skidded towards the Mad Dummy, throwing himself into the water. The missiles flew over him, striking the Dummy and making it cringe in pain.

"Dummy bots! Try again!" It ordered the robots, who dutifully launched another wave of missiles. This time, two of the darts hit Karkat's fleeing back. He screamed as they exploded against his skin, blowing holes in his sweater and searing his flesh. He fell forward, letting the icy water lap at the wounds, and unintentionally dodging the rest of the darts as they flew over him, striking the Mad Dummy. He glanced up at his HP bar, and saw it had only fallen to 17. Grimly, his back smarting, he got to his feet and hit Spare.

"Dummy bots! You're awful??!" It wailed. More of the robots appeared to help, and it took everything Karkat had to avoid the pursuing missiles, while staying close enough to the Mad Dummy for them to hit. He hit Spare as Mad Dummy scowled. "Dummy bots! Final attack!" It ordered. Even more of the robots appeared. Some flew at him, while some launched missiles. Karkat twisted, ducked, danced and swerved, but was still struck several times. By the time the attack ceased, he was down to 5 HP. He bent over, hands on his knees as he panted. Mad Dummy blinked at him. "N- no way! These guys are even worse than the other guys!" It muttered, before shaking its head frantically.

"Who cares! Who cares, who CARES!? I don't need friends!" It cackled as a kitchen steak knife materialized beside it. Karkat froze, eyes wide at the sight of the blade. "I've got knives!" The Dummy cried gleefully. The knife turned towards Karkat and flew at him, but he only stepped to his right; the knife plunged into the water with a low _ker-ploop._ Mad Dummy froze. "I'm... out of knives..." It said, stunned.

"Really? You had one fucking knife?" Karkat snorted. The Mad Dummy shook itself angrily.

"It doesn't matter!" It shouted, "You can't hurt me, and I can't hurt you! You'll be stuck fighting me- forever! Forever!! FOREVER!!!" It shrieked, thrashing about in a frenzy as it laughed maniacally. Karkat only stared at it, before bright, thick, white droplets suddenly struck the Dummy from above. It thrashed, shocked and pained, and Karkat shifted back in surprise. "Wh- what the heck is this?!" Mad Dummy demanded, looking around, "Acid rain?! Oh, forget it! I'm outta here!" It cried, before it turned and fled.

Karkat watched it go, only to jump as something moved in his peripheral vision. Turning back, he recognized a familiar face.

"Napstablook!" He cried, happy to see a friendly face.

"Sorry... I interrupted you, didn't I? As soon as I came over, your friend immediately left... oh no... you guys looked like you were having fun..." Napstablook said morosely, looking up as Dave splashed closer, "Oh no... I just wanted to say hi... oh noo....." He moved back, and Karkat was relieved to see his Soul fade. Napstablook looked between him and Dave. "... Well, I'm going to head home now.... oh, um... feel free to "come with", if you want... but no pressure... I understand if you're busy... it's fine... no worries... just thought I'd offer..." He moaned, before he drifted away. Once he was gone, Karkat turned to Dave, who was holding out a freeze-dried snack.

"Here, eat, then we'll catch up to him." Dave told him. Karkat smiled faintly, taking the treat and unwrapping it.

"Thanks." He said, biting into it; it tasted like an ice cream sandwich, and he eagerly gobbled it down, feeling his wounds heal as he was enveloped in light. His sweater even mended.

"I replaced the stuff you ate with more of them, too." Dave informed him as the glow faded. Karkat took his hand and squeezed it.

"You're the best, Dave. Come on." He turned and lead his grinning boyfriend out of the water- finally- and onto dry land.

They entered the next area to see another Save Point, which Napstablook was stopped by. The area split into several different paths, Dave noted, instantly curious about each different fork. Napstablook looked up as they approached.

"Hey... my house is up here... in case you want to see... or in case... you don't..." he groaned, before drifting up the path. Karkat shook his head, walking up to the Save Point.

"So, we gonna hang with a ghost?" Dave asked him, delighted to see their clothes instantly become dried by the golden light.

"Yeah, I guess." Karkat decided.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really wish some of the Undertale characters were allowed to say fuck. I just imagined the Mad Dummy shouting "Dummy bots! For fuck's sake!" And fell into giggles.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SO sorry this sat for so long. My phone fucking died- DIED died, not just ran out of power- on Easter, and I had to wait for the new one to come in. It's finally here, though, and I can jam out and write again!! I'm back! :D

Dave and Karkat headed after the brooding spirit, following them up the middle path.

They stopped before a pair of wonky-looking houses; they both tilted sideways- in opposite directions- and their roofs sat on top of them like an afterthought. One was white, while the other was pink. The pink one looked abandoned and dark, while the white one had a light in its window. To the right was another path. Dave tried the handle of the pink one, but it was locked. He turned away to see Karkat opening the door to the white one, and he hurried to catch up.

They stepped into a narrow foyer, which opened up into a single room. As they edged in further, Napstablook turned towards them; the ghost had a pair of headphones on, and had been hovering in front of an ancient looking computer. Eyeing the screen, Dave saw it was open on a music sharing forum.

"Oh... you really came... Sorry, I... wasn't expecting that... It's not much, but make yourselves at home..." He offered morosely. Dave smiled and thanked him as he looked around some more.

The house had certainly seen better days; the walls were cracked and crumbling, while the floor was rotting in places. Cobwebs clustered in every corner, and a fresh, large spiderweb hung in the corner to the right, with a flyer for the Spider Bake Sale stuck in it. The smell of stale chips and mildew clogged Dave's nostrils, and he could have sworn he heard mice scratching in the walls. Despite the worn-out look, the air felt welcoming and warm, almost cheery.

Against the wall laid a trio of song albums, and Dave eagerly moved forward to investigate, while Karkat wandered towards the TV. The albums were called, "Spooktunes", "Spookwave", and "Gouliday Music". Reaching out to touch Spooktunes, Dave jumped back as a haunting tune began to fill the air, the CD case glowing with a faint light that pulsed with the beat. He listened to the wailing song, nodding his head slowly.

"Nice tunes, dude." He said, glancing over his shoulder at Napstablook, who gave him the tiniest smile.

"The ambiance in this one... makes my whole body feel spooked..." He moaned. Dave nodded, smiling back. Napstablook looked around at Karkat. "Oh... that's my TV... There's a show I like to watch on it... sometimes..." He added.

"What show?" Karkat asked, regarding the dusty screen; it didn't look like it could play much of anything, he thought. Napstablook didn't answer him.

Finally, the last thing in the house was an old, beat up fridge. Dave couldn't resist going near it as he remembered Papyrus' food museum. Napstablook watched him, fidgeting.

"Oh... are you hungry...?" He asked, "I can get you something to eat..." He drifted closer and stuck his head into the fridge door. After a moment, he pulled it back out and he turned to face Dave. Hovering in front of him was- "This is a ghost sandwich... do you want to try it...?" He offered. Dave looked down at the ghost sandwich. It looked like a regular, ham and cheese sandwich, except that it was white and partially see-through.

"Hell yeah, man, sure." Dave agreed. He tried to grab it, but his hand passed through it. He frowned, and after a moment of contemplation, he just bent down and bit into it.

The vague taste of ham and bread phased over his tongue, but when he pulled back, the sandwich was still in one piece.

"Oh... Nevermind..." Napstablook sighed. The sandwich faded away between them. Napstablook stared at the space it had been in, before he looked up at Dave, "After a great meal I like to lie on the ground and feel like garbage... it's a family tradition... do you want... to join me...?" He offered. Dave bit back a snicker and looked at Karkat, who shrugged.

"Sure." Dave agreed. Napstablook shuddered.

"Okay... follow my lead..." He drifted to the middle of the room, before slipping onto his back and sinking onto the floor. Dave and Karkat sat down on either side of him, before they laid down, too. "Here we go..." Napstablook sighed.

Dave folded his arms over his chest and stared at the ceiling. As his eyes followed the cracks in the wood, his vision began to blur. He blinked rapidly, but the blur didn't leave.

Around him, the world became hazy and black, before lights began to emerge from the dark. He gasped softly as the lights grew into swirling galaxies, unfolding into reaching nebulae and ebony black holes. Whole solar systems and universes hazed into being, between billions and trillions of stars.

"Whoa... Karks, are you seeing this, too?" Dave whispered.

"Yeah." He heard the troll reply, but his voice seemed to come from very far away. Dave couldn't tear his eyes away from the vision before him to look, though. As his eyes trained on a bright, bright red nebula, an overpowering feeling came over him.

He felt as if he'd just launched out of his own skin at a frightening speed, like the jolting sensation of waking from a dream about falling, just before he hit the ground. All of his senses were momentarily heightened, and he could have sworn he heard the stars around him; they were _singing_, he realized. Singing, lamenting the songs of reality and all it meant. His thoughts were blown clear from his head just as quickly as they came, and a dawning enlightenment came over him, his every nerve bright and alight with a buzzing sensation akin to pleasure.

He felt like he couldn't breathe, but in a good way. As he forced himself to gulp in a lungful of air, he suddenly slammed home, back into his own body like he'd been thrown to the floor.

He bolted upright, coughing and gasping, eyes wide as a burning heat raced down his spine. It burned at the base of his spine for a moment, before it faded. He blinked furiously, and was dismayed to see the vision of the galaxies had faded; he was back in Napstablook's house.

He turned to look at Karkat, who still hadn't moved. The troll was limp against the floor, his eyes vacant and cloudy as he stared at the air around him. As Dave watched, the troll began to tremble, a red sheen of tears filling his silver eyes. Karkat raised his arm, pawing at the air in front of him like he was trying to grab something, only to pull his hand back and blink, his face scrunching up in obvious confusion. He looked around slowly, before he sat up.

"Karkles? You okay?" Dave asked gently. Karkat blinked at him, before he huffed, reaching up to rub his face.

"I- yeah. Yeah, I'm fine." He said distractedly, rubbing his eyes. Napstablook suddenly sat up between them.

"Well... that was nice... thank you... I'm going to keep working on my mix CD..." He rose and drifted back towards his computer. Dave got to his feet slowly; he felt... different, he thought. Not bad, but different. Karkat stood up beside him, the troll looking listless and almost dazed.

"Let's go, Dave." Was all he said as he turned towards the door. Dave called goodbye to Napstablook as they ducked outside. Karkat looked around, before he headed for the path next to the houses. Dave followed him, stuffing his hands into his pockets as he watched Karkat's back; the troll was being weird again, he thought worriedly.

His concerns were brought to a halt as they suddenly approached a fenced clearing, inside of which were four, bizarre looking snails. As they got closer, Dave saw Napstablook materialize beside the fence. Karkat had stopped, staring at the snails vacantly as Dave headed for the ghost.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" Dave asked, puzzled. Napstablook glanced at him, then away again.

"Awkward... I'm working right now... I mean... um. Welcome to Blook family snail farm... yeah. I'm the only employee. ... This place used to get a lot of business... but our main customer disappeared one day... now it's just some hairy guy who shows up once a month..." Napstablook explained.

"Oh, jeez. Sorry about that, dude." Dave told him earnestly. Napstablook just nodded sadly, and Dave had the urge to comfort the depressed ghost; he was tempted to hug him, but... He shook his head and turned to investigate the snails.

The first one seemed to be just an average snail, with a rosy shell and grey-green body. It didn't react as he approached, and as he examined it, his mind flashed back to Toriel's bucket of snails in her room. What did snail even taste like, he wondered as he turned away and headed for the next snail.

This one was huge, the size of his foot. It had a grey shell, but a teal body and a bulbous nose, under which a fake mustache was attached. It looked up as he approached.

"A long journey extends in front of you... reach far and stretch beyond the horizons. So snaileth Sam Byool." It said is a foreign accent. Dave blinked; he was beginning to doubt this thing was even a snail.

"I'll... keep that in mind." He told it, quickly moving towards the last two snails.

The first of them looked like a tiny, slimy, green man in a tuxedo; it even had legs, but there was a shell on its back. The other snail was naked; or maybe it was a slug? Whatever it was, it was counting tiny dollar bills.

"Did you- did you just sell your house, little guy?" Dave asked it. The naked snail didn't answer, but the one in the tux did.

"I've been long overdue for a second house." It told him.

"O... kay. Well, congrats?" He backed away, trying to push down the intruding thoughts about the possibilities of snail economics. He glanced around and realized Karkat had moved; the troll was wandering past the snail pasture, where the path continued. Dave hurried to catch up, and saw they were now next to a small racetrack.

At the end closest to them, was a finish line. On the other end was a trio of snails; one with a red shell, one with a blue, and one with a yellow. Napstablook appeared once again as they approached.

"Do you... want to play a game? It's called Thundersnail... The snails will race, and if the yellow snail wins, you win... It's only ten gold to play..." He told them. Dave glanced at Karkat, who leaned on the fence and stared into space. Dave resisted the urge to sigh, turning back to Napstablook and nodding.

"Sure, I'm game." He told him, pulling ten gold pieces out and holding them out to the ghost. The coins vanished from his hand.

"Okay... you've got to cheer your snail on and encourage her. Ready?" They both turned to look at the track. "Three... two... one... go!" Napsablook called softly.

The red and blue snails took off, sluggishly oozing across the track.

"Go on, uh, yellow! You can do it!" Dave called. The yellow snail began to slowly trudge after the other two. Dave continued calling to her, but even as he did so, she was quickly falling behind. The red snail reached the finish line first, with the blue one right behind it. All three snails halted in their places.

"Oh... you both tried your best... but the snail looks discouraged... her best wasn't good enough... oh......." Napstablook sighed as the snails oozed back to their starter positions.

"Nah, she did great!" Dave insisted loudly. The yellow snail seemed to wiggle a little happier at his words. He bid Napstablook goodbye and headed back towards Karkat. "Hey, man. Ready to bounce?" He asked. Karkat looked up at him silently, then nodded. He pushed off the fence and Dave took his hand.

Dave lead him back towards the houses, only to turn left by the snail pasture. They stepped back into the area with the Save Point, and Dave saw a sign posted to the right:

**North: Blook Acres**   
**East: Hotland**   
**???: Temmie Village**

"Hotland?" Dave repeated aloud; neither the sign nor Karkat answered him, so he turned away, heading back towards the Save. He paused to look around; from where they stood, there were three unexplored paths; one to the left, where the ground became marshy, one straight ahead, next to the road to Napstablook's house, and the one to the right, which, presumably, was the way they were supposed to go.

He headed for the marshy path, first, and was surprised to see them back at the place full of glowing, blue water. The path abruptly ended in the pool. At the end of the path stood the little bird they'd seen hours ago. It looked up at them and trilled, flapping her wings and jerking her head towards the other side of the water.

"Uh, no, we're good, thanks." Dave told her, leading Karkat away again. He headed for the path next to Napstablook's, and pulled up short at the sight before him.

In front of them was another house, except this one looked like a gigantic sea monster. The paneling looked like fish scales, the windows like scowling eyes. The door was painted like gnashing teeth, framed by black lips. A pair of earfins jutted off the sides, and a fan of spine went down the back, only to curl around into a giant, spaded tail. To the right was what looked like a mat, with a decal of fish bones woven into it. Sitting where the skull would be was the Mad Dummy. It saw the two of them looking and scowled.

"What? What?! What?! It's a living!!" It snarled, pointedly turning away from them.

"Holy shit." Karkat muttered. He looked up at the dark windows and shook his head. "I don't think anyone's home." He said quietly. Dave hummed in agreement and headed back to the Save. Karkat activated it as they passed it, just to be safe. Dave paused as his vision was obscured by the golden light, before they pressed on. As they neared the final path, Karkat suddenly came to a halt, making Dave stop, too. "Dave..." Karkat began, staring at his feet.

"What's up, man?" Dave turned to him as Karkat released his hand. The troll crossed his arms, fidgeting.

"I... I'm sorry."

"For what?"

"I..." Karkat swallowed and sighed, worrying at his lip with his teeth. "I think it's best if we split up. You- you should stay here, with Napstablook." He said quietly. Dave started, taken aback.

"What the fuck? Karks, no, why the hell would that be a good idea?" Karkat only bit deeper onto his own lip, the troll's body beginning to tremble.

"Because, I- I can't-" His voice cracked sharply, red tears brimming in his eyes. Dave frowned, reaching out and putting his hands on Karkat's shoulders, but the mutant flinched and stepped away from his touch.

"You can't what?" Dave asked him, dropping his hands.

"I- I can't- I don't want to see you die again, Dave, fuck-!" He reached up and grabbed his hair again, pulling on it, "I don't know how you're so fucking calm about all this shit- you died, I died, we've both nearly died like twice- you were bleeding and I was- fuck fuck fuck! I fucked up before Dave, I don't want to see you die again, please, just- stay away from me-" His voice cracked again as he hiccuped. Dave stared at him.

"What the hell, Karkat? What brought this on?" He demanded. Karkat yanked on his own hair, whining with frustration.

"Fuck- the vision in- in Napstablook's house, I- I saw- you were bleeding, bloody, fucking- _dead, covered in vines_\- but you weren't coming back, you were _dead_ dead, and I couldn't- I was too busy fighting, I couldn't reach you, s- save you, I-" Karkat stammered, "It was just there for a fucking second, then I saw all the stars and space but I can't- can't get it out of my head-" Dave drew up short.

"Oh- Karks-" His voice was much gentler as he tried to step closer again, but Karkat shoved him back.

"No! Dave, fuck- don't fucking touch me, don't be close to me, you'll fucking-"

"Karkat, I'm not going to die by being near you. I've been near you for years, I'm not going to just drop dead-" Dave began patiently, but Karkat shook his head violently.

"No, just- shut up, Dave, fuck, please, you don't-" He snarled, stamping his foot and grabbing himself. He hung his head, taking a deep, heavy breath, before he looked up. "I'm sorry, Dave." He rasped, before he lunged.

He slammed into Dave like a bull, knocking him into the wall. Dave shouted, crumpling to the ground as Karkat kept running, vanishing down the road.

"Wh- Karkat-!" Dave cried, his back sparking with pain as he scrambled to his feet and ran after him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> again, my biggest apologies for the wait, hopefully I'm back to updating regularly.


	28. Chapter 28

"Karkat!" Dave ran down the hall after his boyfriend, only to skid to a stop as he saw it split into three directions. "Shit!"

He glanced at each path; to his left was an entrance that looked like a mineshaft, with a box sat out beside it. To his right was a path that ended at a dark river. Ahead, the path was swallowed by the darkness. After a moment's deliberation, he turned towards the left.

He ducked inside and found he'd entered a little shop, with an ancient-looking turtle bent over a rickety table. The turtle was playing with a magnifying glass, wearing a stereotypical explorers outfit. A goatee of grey hair twisted downwards off his chin. The walls were aglow with gems and crystals that threw a rainbow of shades across the small cavern. Carved into the stone was an insignia Dave had seen several times around the underground.

Dave began to back out of the room, but the turtle suddenly looked up.

"Whoa, there! I've got some neat junk for sale!" He called in a watery, croaking voice. He smiled, revealing a mouth that was missing several teeth.

"I-" Dave began, when the option boxes appeared:

-Buy  
-Sell  
-Talk  
-Exit

He hit Talk:

-About yourself  
-That emblem  
-The King  
-About Undyne

He frowned, looking up at the turtle. "Look, I don't have time to chat. Did you see a boy run by here? Grey skin, nubby horns, big sweater?" He asked. The turtle blinked at him.

"Wassat? You gotta speak up, sonny!" He demanded.

"Have you seen a grey-skinned idiot run past here?!" Dave asked, louder. The turtle shook his head and pointed at the boxes. Dave scowled, frustrated, but hit the first option. "Tell me about yourself."

"I've been around a long time. Maybe too long. Studying history sure is easy when you've lived through so much of it yourself! Wahaha!" The turtle chuckled. Dave grimaced, eyeing the second option; if he could run through all the dialogue maybe the turtle would talk about Karkat, he thought hopefully.

"What's that emblem?" He asked.

"Eh? You don't know what that is? What are they teaching you kids in school nowadays...? Wahaha. That's the Delta Rune, the emblem of our kingdom. The Kingdom... of Monsters. Wahaha! Great name, huh? It's as I always say, Ol' King Fluffybuns can't name for beans!"

"King Fluffybuns?" Dave repeated, before he shook his head, "Okay, but what does it mean?"

"That emblem actually predates written history. The original meaning has been lost to time... All we know is that the triangles symbolize us Monsters below, and the winged circle symbolizes... somethin' else. Most people say it's the "angel" from the prophecy."

"Prophecy?" Dave repeated, the strange conversation momentarily distracting him from his urgency.

"Oh yeah... the prophecy. Legend has it, an "angel" who has seen the surface will descend from above and bring us freedom. Lately, the people have been taking a bleaker outlook, calling that winged circle the "Angel of Death". A harbinger of destruction, waitin' to "free" us from this mortal realm. In my opinion, when I see that little circle... I just think it looks neat! Wahaha!"

"..." Dave took a moment to digest all that. So was the angel supposed to be Karkat, then? Or him? Neither of them were exactly the harbinger of anything... He shook his head. "Okay, what about the king?" He asked.

"King Fluffybuns? He's a friendly, happy-go-lucky kind of guy. If you keep walking around long enough, you'll probably meet him. He loves to walk around and talk to people."

"Why do you call him Fluffybuns?"

"Eh? Oh, that's a great story!" The turtle chuckled, before he paused, squinting his eyes in thought, "... I don't remember it. But if you come back later, I'm sure I'll have remembered by then. Wahaha!" Dave sighed.

"Okay, what about Undyne?"

"Undyne?" The turtle repeated, reaching up to twist his beard around his claws, "Yeah, she's the local hero around here. Through grit and determination alone, she fought her way to the top of the Royal Guard. Actually, she just came through here, asking about a pair of boys; you look kinda like one of the ones she described... I'd watch your back, kid. And buy some items, it just might save your hide! Wahaha!"

Dave nodded, switching back to the main options, only to see his inventory was full; that gave him a slight boost of hope. If none of their items had been used, that means Karkat hadn't gotten hurt enough to use them, right? He hit Buy just to see the options, and the turtle indicated to the objects laid out on the table:

Crab Apple- 25G.  
Heals 18 HP  
Looks like a crab.

Sea Tea- 18G  
Heals 10 HP  
Speed up in battle.

Cloudy Glasses- 30G  
Armor: 5 DEF (-5 DEF)  
Invincible longer.

Torn Notebook- 55G  
Weapon: 2 ATK (-3 ATK)  
Invincible longer.

Dave glanced at the gold and only saw he had forty left. Shaking his head, he hit Exit.

"Be careful out there, kid!" The turtle huffed as he turned away.

His head a little clearer now that he wasn't panicking, Dave took a deep breath and strode towards where the path continued, determined to catch up to Karkat. He was going to punch that stupid troll for making him stress like this, then kiss him out of relief from finding him, then punch him _again_ for running off. And _then_ he'd kiss him real hard to make up for the punches.

This plan in mind, he picked up his pace, and nearly walked right past another set of glyphs on the wall, which he halted to read:

"**Hurt, beaten, and fearful for our lives, we surrendered to the humans. Seven of their greatest magicians sealed us underground with a magic spell. Anything can enter through the seal, but only beings with a powerful Soul can leave.**

**There is only one way to reverse this spell. If a huge power, equivalent to seven human Souls, attacked the barrier... it will be destroyed.**"

The first set of glyphs ended there, as a waterfall tumbled down in front of him, collecting into a pool before it fell again. As he splashed across- it only came up to his shins- he noticed the walls and cliffs around him were overgrown with echo flowers, which were all whispering to him, but their voices were drowned by the rumble of the waterfall. Fireflies sparkled in the gloom as they hovered from flower to flower. He turned away from watching the bugs as he spotted the next part of the story:

"**But this cursed place has no entrances of exits. There is no way a human could come here. We will remain trapped down here forever.**"

"Huh, well, you were wrong." He told it, turning away. He had to wade across another pool, his shoes squeaking and full of water as he stepped back onto dry ground. Shaking his legs out, he danced awkwardly down the path, until that path suddenly came to a halt. It suddenly turned to the right, the stone becoming grass. Grass that was... glowing with a teal blue light. Looking around, Dave saw several pine trees that were glowing, too.

Hesitantly, he edged down the grass path, and came across a cluster of those glowing mushrooms, except these ones had no light. It also seemed to be where the grass trail ended. He looked around, thinking, before he nudged the mushrooms with his toe. The fungi suddenly burst to life with light, and the grass to his right reacted, the light racing across the ground to reveal a new trail.

Delighted, Dave set off, following the lights until he came across another mushroom cluster. He poked it and kept going, one fungal group after the next.

As he was following the trail, he heard the faintest sound to his left. That was his only warning before a monster burst out of the darkness and jumped onto the path, blocking his way. His Soul burst forth to meet it as he hit Act. The name Temmie appeared as he hit Check:

_Temmie- 7 ATK 2 DEF_   
_Loves to pet cute humans._   
_But you're allergic!_

"Aawawa! Cute! Pets youu!" The little creature gushed; it looked like a white puppy, with human-esque hair and a sweater. It was adorable, Dave thought, but he quickly retracted that mental statement when Temmie raised her paw. Her leg suddenly extended- and just kept going, flying towards him like a snake. Try as he might to dodge the horrifyingly, tentacle like limb, her paw struck him across the shoulder. It... wasn't that hard of a hit, though, and her elongated limb immediately retracted. Dave glanced at his HP and saw he'd fallen to 17.

"What the hell are you?" he asked as he glanced at the other options; aside from Check, there was Flex, Talk, and Feed Temmie Flakes. He frowned, thinking, before he smirked and hit Flex. Promptly he raised his arm and pulled back his sleeve, making his bicep bulge.

"Nooo! Muscles awe... not cute!!" Temmie wailed.

"Ooh, I have to disagree~" A familiar voice said from the dark. Dave whirled around as Aaron appeared, flexing his own arms.

"Nooo!!" Temmie wailed, before she flopped onto her back, her paws in the air like she was playing dead. After a moment, she wriggled away and vanished. Aaron chuckled, looking at Dave.

"Just the two of us now~" He nickered. Dave laughed once and hit Flex again, showing off his abs; he knew how to deal with Aarons, at least. Aaron grinned, and flexed very hard- so hard he flexed himself right back into the dark, dropping a whopping sixty gold as he went.

Dave's Soul faded and he scooped up the money. As he looked around, ready to follow the lights again, he heard a voice in the dark. He froze, listening intently; was that-? There it was again!

"Karkat?!" He called, turning towards where the voice was coming from. He glanced at the path again. "Fuck it!" He told himself, and ran off the glowing grass and into the dark. "Karkat!"

He entered a narrow cavern that turned sharply to his left. As he skidded around the corner, he came to a stop.

Before him was... a lot. The cavern expanded before him, filled with seven more Temmies. Closest to him was a cluster of four of them, next to a pair of signs and in front of a mural; it was a painting of a white Temmie standing on what looked like a sea serpent, with a plaque that dubbed it the "**Rich history of Tem**". Dave turned to the nearest sign and read:

"**hOI!! welcom to... TEM VILLAGE!**" It declared.

Before he could process anything further, the four Temmies gathered around him.

"Hoi! I'm Temmie! And dis my friend... Temmie!" The first one said gleefully. The second one nodded enthusiastically.

"Hoi! _I'm_ Temmie! And dis _my_ friend... Temmie!" She giggled. The third one wiggled excitedly.

"Hoi! I'm Temmie! Don't forget my friend!" She yapped. The third one wagged his tail.

"Hi. I'm Bob." He introduced himself.

"Nice to meet all of you, have you guys seen a boy with grey skin?" He asked. All four of them perked up.

"Yaya! I sees him!" The first Temmie barked, bouncing around in a happy circle, before stopping and pointing her paw at the far side of the "village". "Grey boy, over dere!" She told him.

Thanking her, he hurried past the four of them, glancing at a sign as he passed it:

"**hOI! u shud check out... Tem Shop!!**"

Next to the sign was the entrance to said shop. Across from it was a Save Point and box. Noting it for later exploration, he spotted another sign on the other side of the doorway:

"**yaYA! i AGREES!! shud check... Tem Shop!!!**"

Past the sign was another Temmie, who began to bounce around as he approached.

"Aawawawawa!!! Humans... such a... _cute!!!!_" They squealed. Dave chuckled.

Past that Temmie was a giant, marble statue of a Temmie, with "**Tem**" carved into the base. A little plaque next to it read:

"**Statue of Tem... very famus. VERY!!!**"

Standing across from the statue was a Temmie who was staring intently at an egg.

"What are you doing, little guy?" Dave paused to ask, crouching down. Temmie didn't stop staring at the egg.

"Tem... _watch_ egg! Egg... will _hatch_!! Tem... _proud parent_!!" She explained, her rump wiggling with excitement. Dave glanced at the egg; it was hard boiled, he saw to his dismay.

"Uh... Tem-"

"Can't talk! Must watch egg!" Tem insisted. Dave snorted.

"Yeah, okay. Good luck." He told her, standing up. The next Temmie eyed him nervously.

"P... Tem heard humans allergics to Tem... Dat okay. Tem understan;Tem... also allergic to Tem!" He yapped.

"I'm not allergic-" Dave began, puzzled, but stopped as Tem's face went red and began to grow spotty.

"Hoivs!" Temmie wheezed, giggling. Dave quickly backed away, glancing around.

That was when he saw Karkat; he hadn't noticed him at first, as he was partially tucked behind the giant statue. Dave moved towards him, only to stop. The troll was facing the wall, speaking animatedly with what looked like a giant crack in the stone. His voice was low, but he was waving his hands around in vague gestures.

"Mushroom dance, mushroom dance, whatever could it mean~?" A voice next to Dave's leg made him jump. He looked down and saw a large, blue-capped mushroom that grew as tall as his knee beside him. It was wobbling back and forth. It suddenly stopped and tipped back, revealing a pair of bloodshot eyes under the fan of the fungi's head. "It symbolizes my inner torment, trapped here by my hyphae. My struggle to pull away, my struggle to escape. But alas, to no avail." It went quiet for a moment. "If only I could see the world above. But even if the barrier was open, how would I leave?"

"... You okay, buddy?" Dave asked gently. The mushroom didn't answer, bowing its head again.

"Dave?"

The blonde boy looked up sharply at his name and saw Karkat approaching him; in the giant crack in the wall, Dave saw a Temmie with dark, knowing eyes watching them. The Temmie bowed its head to him, then vanished. Dave blinked, bewildered, before he focused on his boyfriend.

"Karkat- are you-?"

"I'm okay." The troll said softly. He stepped forward and hugged Dave tightly, who immediately wrapped his arms around Karkat in return. He held him close, feeling Karkat press his face into Dave's shoulder. "I'm sorry." He mumbled, balling the back of Dave's shirt into his fists, "I shouldn't have run off, that was stupid as fuck."

"Yeah, it was." Dave hummed, laying his chin on Karkat's head.

"I'm sorry." He repeated, "I know it was. I've been..." He sighed, "I've been taking all of this too seriously, haven't I? This fucking place is so ridiculous, it should tell you right off that I shouldn't be- I'm sorry. I'm just- I'm so fucking scared of screwing up again, I've been in fight or flight since we got here." He sighed again, "I talked with the Wall Temmie, they... they cleared some things up for me. I'll be okay, I think. ... I hope. Sorry for all the shit you've been putting up with 'cause of me. I love you, Dave."

Dave was silent for a long moment, before he finally pulled back to look at the mutant. "I love you, too, Karkles. You don't have to apologize so much, okay? I get it." He smiled softly, reaching up to push Karkat's messy bangs away from his face.

"I'm sor-" Karkat began, but Dave leaned forward and kissed him.

"Stop apologizing, dumbass." He mumbled against his mouth.

"Sorry." Karkat muttered back. Dave sighed through his nose, making Karkat laugh softly as they pulled away.

"Better?" Dave asked him. Karkat scrunched up his face.

"No, but yeah. Better."

"Ready to head out, then?"

"Yeah."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aahhh this one got long, sorry!


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've spent *39 HOURS* playing Undertale for this freaking fic ya'll. I am THAT fucking dedicated to this shit.

Dave and Karkat began heading back towards the entrance to the village, but Dave came to a stop by the doorway to the Tem Shop.

"We should check what they've got in here." He suggested. Karkat glanced at the two signs and grimaced.

"Yeah, okay. I don't think they'll have anything good, though. What the fuck could they sell, squeaky toys?"

"Don't dis squeaky toys, they play an important role for all of doggy kind." Dave chided him, turning and ducking into the shop.

The little room was brightly, warmly lit by lanterns and strings of christmas lights hung along the walls. The shopkeep, another Temmie, sat behind a beat-up cardboard box that had the words **"Tem Shop"** spray painted on the side in a messy scrawl. Boxes of junk and shelves full of clutter lined the walls behind her, random knickknacks scattered on the ground. The smell of dirt and dog filled the air, overlaid with the scent of laundry detergent. Music was playing from an old radio beside the Temmie's box, the song composed of auto-tuned dog barks.

"Hoi!! Welcome to da Tem Shop!" Temmie greeted them, trembling with excitement.

"Hoi." Dave returned her greeting as the option boxes appeared. He pressed Talk:

-Say Hello  
-About Yourself  
-Temmie History  
-About Shop

"Hello." Karkat said, reading the options over Dave's shoulder.

"Hoi!" Temmie repeated, "I'm Temmie!!"

"I'm Dave, this is Karkles. Can you tell us about yourself?" The Strider asked conversationally, sitting on the ground beside the box.

"Do we have time for this?" Karkat muttered in his ear as the troll sat down, too.

"I think so. Undyne might miss us completely if we hang out a little; this place isn't exactly on the map." Dave muttered back.

"Hoi! I'm Temmie!" Temmie said again. Dave turned back to her.

"What can you tell us about Temmie history?" He asked.

"Us Tems have a deep history!!" Temmie told him excitedly. The boys waited, but she didn't elaborate.

"Okay... What about your shop?" Karkat asked, leaning his chin on his hand.

"Yaya! Go to Tem Shop!" Temmie bounced on her paws.

"We're in Tem Shop." Karkat pointed out. Temmie nodded enthusiastically.

"Yaya!" She repeated. Dave chuckled; he couldn't help it, these dumb dogs were adorable, he thought. He returned to the menu and hit Buy. Temmie yapped, turning around and grabbing stuff off the shelves- seemingly at random- and tossing them on top of her box. Dave looked down at the proffered objects:

Tem Flake- 3G  
Heals 2 HP  
Food of Tem

Tem Flake (On Sale!)- 1G  
Heals 2 HP  
DISCOUNT FOOD OF TEM!

Tem Flake (expensiv)- 20G  
Heals 2 HP  
Food of Tem (expensiv)

Tem pay 4 colleg- 1000G  
COLLEGE  
Tem pursu higher education

The final object was just a tip-collection jar. It was empty. Dave glanced at their Gold, and was dismayed to see they only had a hundred on them. He frowned, going back to the main menu and hitting Sell. Their inventory popped up, with a price next to each item.

"Oh yeah, we wanted to sell the Ballet Shoes, didn't we? Let's do that." Dave suggested, pleased they'd finally found someone to buy their junk. Karkat nodded, and Dave pulled the shoes out, setting them on the box. "We want to sell these." He told Temmie. Temmie's eyes went huge.

"_Whoa!!_ You gotta... BallShoess!! Hnn.. I gotta have dat BallShoess... but I gotta pay for colleg..." She began to sweat and tremble, "Hnnnn...! Tem always wanna BallShoess... Okay, Tem buy for eighty-one gold!!" She offered. Dave eyed her; the desperation in her face gave him an idea.

"I dunno... We might keep them." He said casually. Temmie looked panicked.

"Wha- wha?! No, p... Okay, Tem buy BallShoess for for _one hundred and three_ gold!!" She begged. Dave smirked, pushing the shoes at her.

"Yaya. Deal." He grinned. Tem looked ready to burst with excitement, barking with delight as she snatched the shoes up and tucked them away. Dave saw their gold fill up to two hundred and three. Dave hummed, glancing at Karkat. "Didn't we have other shit to sell? Go check the box." He suggested. Karkat nodded and got up, leaving them.

He was back in a minute, a weird look on his face.

"Uh, Dave? I found some stuff, but... I think I fucked up." He said.

"What? What'd you do?" Karkat opened their inventory to show him:

-Toy Knife   
-Manly Bandanna   
-Faded Ribbon   
-Dog Residue   
-Dog Residue   
-Dog Residue   
-Dog Residue   
-Dog Residue

"How the fuck-?" Dave asked.

"I was just going to throw it out, but I hit Use and it filled up the rest of the inventory." Karkat explained, sounding dismayed. Dave thought for a moment, before he grinned.

"Dude, that's the opposite of a problem. We can use it and grind out some gold." He glanced at the empty tip jar, "We could send Tem to college." Karkat sat back down beside him.

"Okay... but why?"

"Look at her items, man. Maybe it's like... a side quest or something. Send her to College, get better stuff. I'm willing to do some grinding for it. It's like... collecting more grist got us better items, you know?" Karkat nodded slowly.

"Alright, fine. Do it, then." He agreed. Dave grinned and turned to Temmie, returning to the Sell menu.

The Toy Knife sold for a hundred. The Manly Bandanna was traded for fifty. The Faded Ribbon was swapped for another hundred. Several of the Dog Residues were sold off for only a few coins. When there was one left, Karkat handed Dave the phone. Dave left the menu and Used the last Dog Residue, watching with delight as their Items refilled. They were already up to four hundred and sixty-six gold.

Dave sat there for over half an hour, selling off Dog Residue, refilling the inventory, and selling it again. Temmie seemed more than happy to buy everything he offered, occasionally getting really excited about a certain piece, which Dave would barter over until she upped her offer. Karkat, meanwhile, got up and went back outside to explore the village some more.

Finally, they'd made just over a thousand gold. Dave switched back to buy and hit the fourth option, and watched as the tip jar overfilled with golden coins. Temmie's eyes threatened to pop out of her head.

"Whoa!! That's a lot o' mons'... Can Tem really accepts...?" Temmie asked.

"Yeah, it's all yours." Dave assured her, leaning back on his hands. Temmie threw back her head and howled with glee, bouncing around.

"Okays!! Tem go to colleg and and make you prouds!!" She howled, grabbing her jar, before she turned and bound out of the shop, leaving him alone.

"Uh..." Dave stared at the doorway; that wasn't what he'd been expecting. He sat there for a minute, thinking, when hurried footsteps suddenly returned.

Temmie bound back into the shop, leaping over her box and spinning to face him. "Tem back from cool leg!! Tem learn many thin's, learn to sell _new item!_ Yaya!!" She crowed. Perched on her head, sat between her ears, was a little graduation cap. She put her now empty jar back on the box; the label now read "**For grad skool**". Dave laughed.

"Congratulations." He told her, checking the Buy option again to see the "new item". Temmie pulled a leather breastplate out of nowhere, slapping it down on her box. Dave looked at the item list:

Tem Flake- 3G  
Heals 2 HP  
Food of Tem

Tem Flake (On Sale!)- 1G  
Heals 2 HP  
DISCOUNT FOOD OF TEM!

Tem Flake (expensiv)- 20G  
Heals 2 HP  
Food of Tem (expensiv)

Temy Armor!!!- 750G  
Armor: 20 DEF  
Makes battles too easy.

"Twenty defense..." Dave repeated, grinning; it be a hell of a lot better than Karkat's stupid tutu, and his boyfriend could finally get rid of the accursed clothing. If it made battles easy, then hell yes he was getting it. He eyed it excitedly; it was made of black leather, with overlapping sleeve plates on the shoulders. A Temmie's head was carved onto the chest, and tiny Tems were etched into the shoulders. The straps that connected the front and back were made of a lighter leather, their buckles molded into tiny Temmie heads, too.

Eagerly, he once more opened the inventory and Used the last Dog Residue, and resumed grinding it out with Temmie. Once he had a little over seven hundred and fifty, he bought the Temmie Armor. Temmie pushed the breastplate towards him as his gold once more refilled her jar. Dave grinned, thanking her profusely as he took it and got up, running out of the shop.

"Karkles!" He called, looking around. Karkat was sitting with the group of three Temmies- and Bob- by the entrance of the village, intensely scratching one of them behind the ears. From the looks of it, the Temmie was enjoying it greatly, all four of them spilled across his lap. The troll looked up as Dave walked over.

"What's up?"

"Check it!" Dave held out the armor, before it vanished into their inventory. He passed the phone back, and Karkat opened their Items to read:

_"Temy Armor"- Armor DEF 20_   
_The things you can do with a college education!_   
_Raises ATK when worn._   
_Recovers HP every other turn._   
_INV up slightly._

"Holy _shit_, Dave!" Karkat gasped, eyes blown wide. He closed down the phone and carefully removed the Temmies from his lap, before he ran into the shop. Dave waited, and when Karkat returned, he was wearing the breastplate over his sweater, still fiddling with the buckles on the sides.

He dropped them as he reached up, grabbed Dave's shoulders and kissed him, hard.

Dave made a startled noise, but laughed and kissed him back for a moment, wrapping his arms around the troll's neck.

"I take it you like it?" He asked, finally pulling back to speak.

"Fuck. _Yes_. I sold the fucking tutu to Temmie, told her to fucking _burn_ it if she could. Thank you, Dave." Karkat said earnestly, before his face split into a grin. Dave's breathing went funny for a moment; it'd been a while since he'd seen Karkat genuinely smile. He couldn't resist the urge to lean down and kiss him again.

"You look hot as hell, babe. Ready to head out now?" He asked. Karkat nodded enthusiastically.

"Yeah- oh, wait-" He pulled away and hurried over to the box. He messed with it for a moment, pulling out their items from before, then came back. "Okay, yeah. Now I am."

Dave smiled, offering the troll his hand. Karkat took it, and together they headed for the village's exit.

"Boi! Come back soon!"

"Boi!"

"Boi-boi!"

"Goodbye!"

The three Temmies- and Bob- called after them. Dave and Karkat called their own goodbyes, before they ducked out the narrow hall and back into the dark, glowing forest.

Dave took a deep breath of pine-scented air, his spirits lifted higher than he knew they needed to be. Hand in hand with Karkat, the two of them set off again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> had to do... so much grinding for this chapter... Temy Armor starts at 9999G, I had to go keep dying again and again to get it lower, just to make the story flow better. Then I had to grind even more to afford it... I told ya'll I'm dedicated!! On that note, I am so sick of Moldsmals.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wonder if Sans wonders wtf I'm doing as Frisk stands there for ten minutes while I'm typing.

As they ducked out of the village, Dave was dismayed to see the grass had gone dark again. Taking the lead, he carefully began picking his way across the dark ground, until they reached one of the mushrooms. He nudged it, and saw the grass leading back to the beginning start to glow. He and Karkat followed it, lighting up the other mushrooms along the way until they'd reached the dirt path again. Nudging the first cluster of fungi, Dave saw a new path of grass light up; he paused, thinking.

"Hm."

"What?" Karkat glanced up at him.

"We've got room in our inventory now, right?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I kinda want to head back to the turtle and get some stuff; I have a feeling we're going to be meeting Undyne again soon." Dave explained.

"Turtle?" Karkat repeated. Dave snapped his fingers, perking up.

"Oh, yeah! You didn't get to meet him! Come on!" He turned and headed up the dirt path, Karkat at his heels.

As they walked back, wading through the pools by the waterfalls, Dave filled him in on what the turtle had told him, pointing out the glyphs on the walls; all of which Karkat had missed in his mad dash to run away. Finally, they reached the entrance to the shop. Dave ducked inside, pulling Karkat after him. The turtle looked up as they came in.

"Wahaha! You came back! Welcome, I got some neat junk for sale!" He said cheerily, addressing Dave.

"Yup. Hi, again." Dave smiled. The turtle focused on Karkat, then.

"Welcome, kiddo! Interested in some items?"

"Hi, yeah." Karkat greeted him, opening the Buy option and examining the items. After a minute, he pulled out enough gold to buy a Crab Apple and a Sea Tea.

"Wahaha! Thanks! Bye now!" The old reptile said as Karkat pocketed the items.

"Bye." Karkat waved as he and Dave left again.

Back across the pools and path, and they were back to the glowing grass. They followed the newly lit path, both of them enjoying the silent companionship. The air around them was quiet, but not in an unfriendly way; it was almost welcoming, a warm breeze blowing across their faces and bringing the smell of fresh pine and water. The muffled sounds of their footsteps and the quiet jangle of Karkat's armor were the only noises around. Dave rubbed his thumb across the back of Karkat's fuzzy gloves, and the troll hummed appreciatively in response.

Their silent contentment was interrupted by a pair of monsters rushing out of the dark. Karkat released Dave's hand and jumped forward to face them, his soul flying forth from his chest.

The two facing them were a Woshua and Aaron, neither of which Karkat had battled before. He hesitated, before he pressed Clean on Woshua's menu. The little turtle danced excitedly.

"Green means clean!" He trilled, before the water in his bucket-shell sprayed; the water was blue, so Karkat froze and let it splatter him, reaching out to grab the green droplets that passed.

"Come in, the water's fine~" Aaron added, phantom fists appearing around him and flying towards the troll. Karkat leapt back to avoid them, but the fists seemed more interested in flexing, anyway, and flew right on by. Checking Act, Karkat Spared Woshua- who's name had turned yellow- and braced for Aaron's next attack as the bucket-turtle wandered away. Once again, the horse-fish-man launched a barrage of fists.

As Karkat ducked and rolled, one of them clobbered into his chest, knocking the breath out of him.

"Fuck-!" He gasped. He glanced up at his HP, and was surprised to see it was still at twenty. Looking back down, he saw his armor shine faintly with gold for a moment.

"You gotta get closer to him! He's easier to avoid up close!" Dave called, worried when Karkat didn't immediately jump back up. The troll waved a hand in acknowledgement, getting back to his feet. He reached out and hit Flex, before pushing back the sleeve of his sweater to make his bicep bulge. Dave wolf-whistled, making Karkat twist his wrist around to flip him off before they both snickered.

"Flexing contest? Okay, you're on~!" Aaron whinnied, thrusting out his chest and tensing his stomach to reveal many, many abs. At the same time, a swarm of flexing arms launched themselves at Karkat, who ducked them easily.

Not to be outdone, Karkat hit Flex, before he unbuckled his armor and pulled it up to reveal his own stomach. He didn't have abs, though, not like Dave; Karkat was a little more chubbier, and despite being eighteen, still had the final remains of baby fat clinging to his waist. Coupled with his naturally thick skin, he had somewhat of a belly that was hidden under his sweater. Still, Aaron nodded appreciatively.

"Nice~! I won't lose, though!" He cried, his next attack just like before. Dodging it, Karkat flexed a final time, this time with his other arm. Aaron struck a pose, before he back-flipped away, dropping fifty-five gold as he went.

Karkat's Soul faded and he scooped up the money as Dave rejoined him.

"Good job. I appreciated the show." The blonde smirked, taking Karkat's hand again.

"Hmph. Yours was better." Karkat muttered, his ears going red as he buckled his armor back into place. Dave chuckled and kissed his cheek in thanks, as they stepped into the next area.

This part of the path was completely lit up, with a scattering of lanterns lining the walk. The path also fractured into several smaller paths that went nowhere, while others separated, only to meet again further on. As the boys passed the first lantern, several bright, purple crystals began to glow, previously hidden by the darkness.

"Whoa." Dave said, pausing to admire the nearest one.

"Uh, Dave? The path-" Karkat began. Dave looked down and saw the grass' glow was rapidly fading.

"Oh, shit- how do we-?" He looked around for mushrooms, but none were present. Squinting in the rapidly dimming light, he eyed one of the lanterns; there was a little button on top of it, he saw. He lunged for it, smacking his hand down on the button.

The crystal's glow vanished as the grass lit up again, only for the greenery to quickly begin fading _again_.

"It's a timed thing." Karkat realized. Dave nodded slowly.

"Okay, we might need to pick up the pace here, then. Unlike you, I can't see shit in the dark."

"Want me to lead, then?"

"That might be best."

It was Karkat's turn to nod as he gripped Dave's hand tightly. Dave hit the lantern once again, then they took off, running for the next one.

They zigzagged across the path, Dave tagging each lantern they came across. Some of them were too spaced out, leaving them in complete darkness for a minute, and he clung to Karkat's hand until the troll lit up the room again. Finally, they came to the end of the path, which stopped at a pool of black water.

Nearly blind in the dark, Dave let Karkat go first; fortunately, the water barely came to their knees, and they splashed across. Dave squeezed the troll's fingers, the splash of their footsteps echoing loudly in the tunnel; he could barely see the outline of Karkat's horns in front of him, when they suddenly vanished as he stepped up onto dry land again. He pulled Dave up beside him a moment later.

"Jesus christ, it's dark." Karkat said unnecessarily, "It looks dusky even to _me_."

"Preaching to the choir, babe. Can you see the way out?" Dave asked, shaking his leg to get the water out of his shoes. Karkat scanned the room around them.

"No. All I can see is some tall grass and an echo flower." he reported. Dave perked up.

"Echo flower?"

Karkat hummed, leading him over to where Dave assumed the flower was. The troll reached out and touched it lightly.

"B e h i n d... y o u..." The flower snarled.

"Wh-" Dave was blinded as light suddenly filled the cave, making him flinch. He gasped, reaching up to cover his eyes and rub them. He froze at the sound of familiar, clanking bootsteps behind him, and both he and Karkat slowly turned, blinking, to see Undyne standing behind them.

Dave swallowed, looking around quickly; they were at a dead end, he realized with a cold splash of fear in his chest. As Undyne took another few steps closer, Dave stepped up and shoved Karkat behind him. Undyne stopped a few feet away.

"... Seven." She said finally, her voice muffled and tinny by her helmet; that didn't stop it from sounding furious and aggressive, though, "Seven human souls. With the power of seven human souls, our king... King Asgore Dreemurr... will become a _god_. With that power, Asgore can finally shatter the barrier. He will finally take the surface back from humanity, and give them back the suffering and pain we have endured." Her helmet shifted ever so slightly, and Dave knew she was looking over his shoulder, staring at Karkat, "Understand human? This is your only chance at redemption. Give up your soul... or _I'll tear it from your body!!_"

"Wait-" Karkat began, but Undyne wasn't listening. She took a readying stance, and one of her spears materialized in her hand. She made a guttural sound- like she was growling- as she rushed forward. Dave braced himself, throwing out his arms, ready to get run through for his boyfriend, when something small and yellow flashed in front of him.

"Undyne, I'll help you fight!!" The dragon kid! They'd burst out of the grass, landing right between the boys and soldier. Undyne jerked to a halt, stopping herself just in time from skewering the child. The monster kid looked up at her, then at the boys, before they turned to Karkat. "Yo! You did it! Undyne is _right _in front of you! You've got front row seats to her fight!!" They cried, excited.

"Um." Karkat blinked as the kid looked between the three of them again, their face becoming one of confusion.

"... Wait. Who's she fighting?" They asked. Undyne suddenly stood up straight, her spear disappearing as she grabbed the kid by their poncho's hood and began dragging them away.

"H- hey! You aren't going to tell my parents about this, are you?" The monster kid cried, alarmed.

Neither Dave nor Karkat even dared to breathe until the two monsters were swallowed by the darkness. Dave finally let out the breath he was holding, turning to look at Karkat.

"Are you okay?" He croaked, his heart throwing itself against his ribs. Karkat nodded slowly, his pupils dilated to slits.

"Uh-huh. Let's go before she comes back." He rasped.

Dave wasn't going to argue. He grabbed Karkat's hand and they hurried towards the water. As they splashed back into it, Dave saw a new path of glowing grass had lit up to their right. He swerved onto it, and they ducked through an arch in the stone.

They emerged into a hall filled with water, echo flowers, and fireflies that flickered gently. Despite their urgency to put distance between them and Undyne, Dave couldn't help but to stop and listen to the flowers.

"... Hmm... If I say my wish... You promise you won't laugh at me?" It whispered. Dave perked up; the conversation from before! He'd nearly forgotten about it after all that had happened.

"Of course I won't laugh!" The second flower insisted softly.

"Someday, I'd like to climb this mountain we're all buried under. Standing under the sky, looking at the world all around... that's my wish." Confessed the third in a low voice.

The fourth flower chuckled, before it breathed, "Hey! You promised you wouldn't laugh at it!"

"Sorry, it's just funny. That's my wish, too." The fifth confessed.

"Aw..." Dave murmured, smiling despite himself. He looked over at Karkat, whose lips quirked in amusement, before he looked over Dave's shoulder.

"Hey, look." He nodded to the wall ahead of them, where the path turned to the right. On the wall was another set of writing. Dave splashed forward to read:

"**However... there is a prophecy. The Angel... the One Who Has Seen The Surface... They will return, and the underground will go empty.**" He read aloud.

"..." Karkat stared at the words for a long moment, and Dave could practically hear the gears in his head turning. "I don't like the way that's phrased." The troll said at last, turning away.

"What do you mean?" Dave asked, following him as they stepped out of the water and onto dry land.

"It makes it sound... bad. "Go empty", like they'll all be fucking killed."

"Or freed. The old turtle said that was the other interpretation." Dave reminded him. Karkat grimaced.

"If I'm supposed to be this "Angel", then we're going with that option." He said. Dave took his hand and squeezed it comfortingly.

The path ahead suddenly narrowed, the dirt and stone stopping all together, ending at a cliff's edge. Ahead of them, a narrow, rickety wooden bridge was the only way across, held up in the middle by a pillar of stone. The boys stopped to observe it.

"Ladies first." Dave offered. Karkat glared at him, before he snorted.

"Bitches last!" He retorted, quickly stepping onto the bridge.

"Hey!" Dave gasped dramatically, offended but not really. Karkat laughed, a sound that was music to the Strider's ears.

As they neared the end of the bridge, a voice called out behind them.

"Yo!"

Both boys turned to see the monster kid approaching, a pensive look on their face. They stopped, looking at their feet, before they looked back up at the two of them.

"Yo, I know I'm not supposed to be here, but..." They shuffled their feet and took a deep breath, focusing on Karkat, "I want to ask you something." Karkat shared a surprised look with Dave.

"Okay."

The kid swallowed, glancing at their feet again. "... Man, I've never had to ask someone this before. Um. Yo, you're human, right? Haha." They laughed nervously. Karkat closed his eyes for a moment; by the way his eyelids twitched, Dave could tell he'd rolled his eyes.

"I am." The troll answered, opening his eyes again. The kid nodded.

"Man, I knew it! ... Well, I know now, I mean. Undyne told me, um, "Stay away from that human!" ... So, like, um. I guess that makes us enemies, or something. But I kind of stink at that, haha." They laughed awkwardly again, squirming uncomfortably. "So, yo, say something so I can hate you? Please?" The asked. Karkat hesitated.

"Um- fu- uh. You're- you're too fuc- too freaking short." He stammered, trying to both keep himself from swearing and not hurt the kid's feelings. The kid blinked.

"Yo, that's your idea of being mean? My sister says that to me all the time!" They shook their head, sighing. "Guess I'll have to do it, haha." They swallowed again, taking a breath, "Yo, I... I hate your guts!" They spat halfheartedly, before looking disappointed in themself. "... Man, I... I'm such a turd. I'm... I'm gonna go home now." They said glumly, turning away.

"Wait, kid-" Karkat began, before the little dragon's foot suddenly caught on a loose board. Dave tensed, expecting them to faceplant again, but they twisted in an attempt to keep their balance, and ended up practically throwing themself off the edge. "Kid!" Karkat cried as they shrieked, digging the claws on their feet into the stone pillar below, balanced precariously on the tiniest ledge.

"Yo, w- w- wait! Help! I tripped!" They wailed, panicked. Karkat pushed past Dave, who quickly shuffled back to let him by. As Karkat hurried towards the trembling, dangling child, both of them looked up at the sound of clanking footsteps.

Undyne had arrived. Dave's stomach dropped into the chasm below as she began a menacing walk forward, her helmet scanning the three of them. Karkat paused for only a moment, though, before he rushed towards the kid, ignoring the knight.

"It's okay, I've got you!" He said, dropping to his knees and leaning down, wrapping his arms around the kid's waist. He scooped them up, pulling them back onto the creaky wood. "Are you okay?" He asked. The little dragon stared at him with giant eyes, before they turned and looked at Undyne. They took a trembling step towards the knight, who'd stopped.

"Y... yo... dude... If- if you wanna hurt my friend... you're gonna have to get through me, first!" They said bravely, even though their voice wasn't much more than a squeak of fear. There was dead silence for ten long, painful seconds.

"Kid..." Karkat began warningly, before Undyne began backing away. She looked between them again, before she spun on her heel and marched off. The dragon puffed out their cheeks and let out a whoosh of air.

"She's gone..." They murmured as Undyne's footsteps faded. They turned to look up at Karkat again. "Yo, you really saved my skin. ... Guess being enemies was just a nice thought, haha. We'll just have to be friends instead." They straightened up, attempting a smile, before their face fell. "... Man, I should _really_ go home, though. I bet my parents are worried sick about me!" They turned and began waddling away, before they paused and looked back once again. "Later, dudes!" They called, before they jogged off.

"See ya, little dude!" Dave called back, as Karkat waved. Once they were out of sight, Karkat got to his feet and walked back to Dave. "You okay?" the blonde asked gently as they turned and crossed the last bit of bridge.

"I'm going to have a stroke if we don't deal with Undyne soon. Other than that, yes." Karkat informed him.

"Well... be careful what you wish for." Dave said, shuddering at the thought of battling such a monster. He took Karkat's hand again as they crossed a second, smaller bridge.

They were approaching a gaping, jagged opening in the cavern wall to their left, Dave saw. The stones piled around it looked like spikes, or gnarled teeth, he thought, unnerved. The air was dead silent, their footsteps and breathing much too loud.

As they turned about to face it, a crunch on top of the pile made him stop and look up.

There, facing away from them, was Undyne.

"Oh, for fucks sake." Karkat muttered under his breath.

"... Seven." Undyne said, just loud enough for them to hear, "Seven human souls, and King Asgore can become a god." She turned partly, looking at them over her shoulder, "Six. That's how many we have collected thus far." She turned to face them completely. "Understand? Through your seventh and final soul, this world will be transformed. ..." She looked up towards the ceiling of the cavern for a moment, many miles above their heads, before she looked back down again. "First, however, as is customary for those who make it this far... I shall tell you the tragic tale of our people."

"Uh-"

"It all started, long ago..." Undyne began, before she stopped. "... No, you know what? Screw it! Why should I tell you that story, when you're about to die?!" She shouted, before she howled like a mad dog, reaching up to rip her helmet off. She threw it aside, and it clattered down the pile of stones. Snarling down at them, her teeth bared, the boys finally saw her face.

Blue, scaly skin, and flared, bright red earfins, with jagged teeth like a shark; those were the first things Dave registered. She was wearing an eyepatch, her bright red hair pulled up into a ponytail; that hadn't been a plumage on the helmet, but her hair sticking out of the top! Her single eye was bright, beady red, dark maroon eyeshadow making her eye look even brighter as she glared down at them.

"_You!!_" She thundered; her voice no longer muffled, it came out strong and powerful, like a cannon shot. A strong wind suddenly swept over them, a dangerous rumble in the ground, "You are standing in the way of everyone's hopes and dreams! Alphys' history books made me think humans were cool, with their giant robots and flowery swordsmen..."

"Is she talking about-?" Dave began.

"But you?! You're just a coward!! Hiding behind that kid so you could run away from me again! And let's not forget your wimpy, goody-two-shoes shtick!" She spat venom at Karkat, before she took on a mocking tone. ""Ooh! I'm making such a difference by helping random strangers!"" She cried in a falsetto, before she shook her head in disgust, "You know what would be more valuable to everyone? _If you were dead!!_

That's right, human! Your continued existence is a crime!! Your life is all that stands between us and our freedom! Right now, I can feel everyone's hearts pounding together!! Everyone's been waiting their whole lives for this moment! Ha, but we're not nervous at all! When everyone puts their hearts together, they can't lose! Now, human! Let's end this, right here, right now!! I'll show you how _determined_ monsters can be!! Step forward when you're ready!" She cried, before she cackled madly.

Dave flinched as a bright burst of gold appeared to his right. Looking over, he saw a Save Point had appeared. He pointed to it, nudging Karkat, who ran to it and hit it. As they were consumed by light, Dave looked down at him.

"You ready for this?" He asked. Karkat looked up at him; there was a light in the troll's eyes, one Dave hadn't seen in a while. Karkat bared his teeth in a sneer.

"Fuck. Yes."


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry to leave ya'll in suspense yesterday, I wanted to make sure this came out right!

Blood was roaring in Karkat's ears, his heart hammering with the twin rushes of fear and adrenaline. The wind was howling around him, blowing his hair back as he raised his face into the gale, closing his eyes for a moment. The smell of smoke and stone filled his nose as he took a deep breath. The rumble in the ground vibrated up his legs until he was shaking as he turned to look at Dave, who was watching him pensively.

Just like it always did when he looked at Dave, his heart skipped a beat as he was flooded with affection for his matesprit. He stepped closer and stretched onto his toes, kissing the blonde quickly.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Dave asked when he moved away, his ruby eyes shining with concern. Karkat snorted.

"Hell no, but I'm doing it anyway." He huffed, forcing a grin onto his face. Dave relaxed slightly, as he always did when Karkat smiled.

"A'ight. Kick her ass, babe." He smirked.

Karkat hummed, turning to look up at the fishy soldier, who was waiting not-so-patiently for him. Flashbacks of the game threatened to overwhelm him as he forced his suddenly stiff legs forward; he'd faced a relentless fish-bitch before, he could do it again, he told himself firmly. This one wasn't an Empress, she was just a guard. He could do this.

He hoped.

"That's it, then!" Undyne howled as he stopped before the tunnel entrance, "No more running away! Here I come!" She crouched, before she launched off the stones, plummeting down with a spear appearing in her hand. She hit the ground on her feet, knees bent to absorb the blow. She stood back up, a fierce, terrifying look in her eyes. "En guarde!" She snarled as Karkat jumped back, his Soul bursting forth to meet her.

As his option boxes appeared, she swiped for his Soul, and to his shock, it suddenly turned _green_. At the same time, he felt his feet seemingly freeze in place; he jerked, trying to get away, but might as well have been glued to the ground. He was trapped.

"What the fuck?!" He shouted over the wind. His Soul seemed to shiver, before a glowing, blue sheen grew in front of it; it was square in shape, but flat, nearly an inch thick, covering his whole torso. "What the fuck?" He repeated, reaching out to touch it; it felt solid and hard, like a shield. A way to protect his color-morphed Soul? His hopes raised, he hit Check:

_Undyne- 7 ATK 0 DEF_   
_The heroine that NEVER gives up!_

"As long as you're green, you can't escape! Unless you learn to face danger head on, you won't last a _second_ against me!" She snarled. Three small, blue spears appeared between them, flying towards Karkat's chest. Unable to move, he braced himself for the hit, but the spears thudded into the "shield" and vanished; he was unharmed. His eyes widened and he glanced back at Dave, who gave him a thumbs up, a look of mixed emotions on his face.

Karkat turned back to face his opponent; his fingers itched to hit Fight, especially after all she'd done to them, but he made himself hit Spare instead.

"Not bad, kid!" She conceded, "But how about this?!"

More spears materialized, this time coming from his left and right, too. Impulsively, he reached for his Soul and tried to push it; to his delight, it moved where he directed it, easily deflecting the spears around him. He suddenly laughed, a rush of giddiness filling him; he could _do_ this! He punched Spare again.

"For years, we've dreamed of a happy ending..." Undyne told him as he aimed his Soul towards the next wave of lances. One of them came for his back, and he would've been struck if Dave hadn't shouted.

"Behind you!" Karkat quickly twisted and threw his Soul towards it, huffing with relief as he deflected it.

"And now, sunlight is just within our reach!" Undyne continued as he hit Spare again. This wave of harpoons was a little faster, but he still managed to keep himself safe; even the ones from his back couldn't touch him, not with Dave shouting each time one appeared.

"If you'd just let me get to your fucking capital, I could help with that!" Karkat yelled over the blustering winds, but Undyne didn't seem to hear him; either that or she was ignoring him. A growl in his throat, he hit Spare.

"I won't let you snatch it away from us!" She hissed, sweeping her hand to direct her next attack. Karkat crouched and braced for it; despite the protection of his shield, the arrows were still fast, each one made his heart jump a little higher into his throat, only for it to fall again at the thud of them hitting his defense. He hit Spare.

"NEGH! Enough warming up!" She shouted, slamming the hilt of her spear into the ground. A swarm of humming javelins materialized around him. Try as he might to cover himself, one in the back escaped his attention.

He shrieked as it slammed into him, cushioned only slightly by the armor; it didn't pierce his flesh, fortunately, caught on his armor, but the force of it knocking him to his knees. He looked up in time to see Undyne swipe at his Soul; it turned red again and his shield vanished, just as a final, large spear flew for him. He leapt to his feet and threw himself sideways, his feet suddenly unstuck from the ground. It soared right past him as he rolled, jumping back to his feet. He glanced at his HP; it had fallen to 18, but rose back to 19 as he watched.

As he clicked Mercy, ready to hit Spare again, he saw the Flee option had appeared. He stared at, before he glanced back at Dave, who'd noticed it, too. The blonde looked at him and nodded, a silent communication passing between them. Dave strode up and grabbed his hand as Karkat punched Flee.

Instantly, the boxes vanished and Karkat's Soul retreated. Undyne took a half step back, surprised. Not waiting for her to recover, the boys took off, running past her and into the tunnel as fast as they could. The thudding sound of her armored footsteps followed not even seconds later.

Karkat only had time to see they were crossing over a river- he saw a giant icecube float by- when Undyne suddenly jumped _over_ them, twisting around to face them.

"You won't get away from me this time!" She snarled, her voice reverberating off the stone walls. She swiped at his Soul as it burst out, turning it green once again. His shield reappeared as Dave backed away. The whistling of the stormy wind outside in his ears, Karkat grit his teeth and hit Spare. "Honestly, I'm doing you a favor..." She told him maliciously.

The next wave of halberds came for his front and back, exclusively, leaving Karkat- whose feet had once again frozen to the ground- to writhe back and forth to protect himself. His heart beating hard enough that he thought it would rupture, he hit Spare.

"No human has ever made it past Asgore!" She continued, clenching her fist in front of herself as the next wave of spears approached. These ones were pretty easy, Karkat thought with relief; one of them was even slower than the rest, leaving him able to deflect the others before he directed his Soul towards it with a flick of his wrist.

"Good thing I'm _not fucking human!_" He snarled back, punching Spare.

"Killing you now is an act of Mercy!" Undyne cried, pointing her spear to the sky dramatically. The harpoons that came for Karkat were much, _much_ faster, going for him at every angle. Once more, he wouldn't have been able to defend himself if Dave hadn't called out. Panting, dizzy from all the rushing, overwhelming emotions that were pulsing through him, he hit Spare. "So stop being so damn resilient!" She finished.

If possible, this wave was even faster! Karkat screamed as he was hit twice; once in the right shoulder, and again in the back. Blood burst from his arm, only for it to vanish and the pain to stop as his armor healed him over again. Taken aback, the troll did a double take at his limb.

"Fuck." He looked down at his shimmering armor and grinned, before he looked up at Undyne again; just in time to see her change his Soul back to red and throw a spear at it. He leaped away, selecting Mercy. Just like before, Flee had appeared.

He felt Dave grab his hand, making him jump; he hadn't been aware the human had approached. Still, he squeezed his fingers and pressed the option. Just like before, the boxes and his Soul vanished, and they took off, ducking around Undyne.

The tunnel suddenly swerved to the right and Karkat skidded around the corner, hounding forward with Dave at his side. He had just enough time to see a giant, bright sign ahead of them, and was able to read,

"**Welco**-"

Before Undyne seemed to teleport in front of them, her face twisted with fury as she lunged for Karkat's appearing Soul, turning it green again.

"You've escaped from me for the last time!" She spat.

"Oh, fuck off!" Karkat snapped back, slamming his palm into Spare as his shield materialized.

"Alphys told me humans were determined," Undyne huffed as her javelins raced for him. Conducting his Soul like a choir, Karkat blocked them all. The last one was golden, he saw to some surprise. It flew at him from the right, before it twisted around midair and came for his left. He barely had time to cover himself, the spear hitting his shield just before it would have jammed through his skull. Swallowing the whine in his throat, he hit Spare, "I see now what she means by that." Undyne rumbled.

This wave had even more of the golden spears, that twisted and came for the opposite of whichever direction they initially materialized. Karkat deftly reflected them away, his spirits soaring; he was getting the hang of this, he thought proudly as he reached out to press Spare.

"But I'm determined, too!" Undyne bellowed, once more thrusting her spear into the sky. The attack was all golden harpoons. Karkat squirmed, his head swinging from side to side as he tracked each one, the thud of spears on his shield beating in time with his heartbeat. When the dozen or so weapons vanished, he hit Spare.

"Determined to end this,_ right now!_" She cried, flashing him a menacing smile. So am I, you bitch, Karkat snapped; he didn't have the chance to say it out loud, too busy deflecting the horde of flying leisters. Blues and golds mixed together as he danced, flailing, practically blind in his rush to protect himself. He was left panting and breathless as the storm ended, and he hit Spare.

Undyne looked taken aback that her attack hadn't killed him. "... Right _now!!_" She repeated angrily.

This time, Karkat couldn't keep up. Spear after spear rushed him, and even with Dave calling to him for each one that appeared at his back, he was still struck. Once, twice, a third time- his chest, left shoulder, back- leaving him to shriek in agony. Even with his armor instantly healing the wound in his arm, his chest ached like he'd been hit by a truck, his spine smarting with an electric pain. Tears of pain filled his eyes as he blindly groped for Spare.

"Augh! Die already, you little brat!" Undyne snarled.

It was all Karkat could do, waving his arm meekly to direct his Soul towards the dozens of golden spears. Even so, another one hit his chest, making his let out a strangled, half groan. Even as his armor once again healed him, his HP had shrunk to 17. He swallowed, wiping his face on his sleeve- he was drenched in sweat, he realized, the air around him hot and heavy- and looked up as Undyne recolored his Soul back to red. He forced himself to limp away from the giant spear she set on him.

He felt hands on him; looking up, Dave had grabbed his arm to steady him, the human's face set and grim. Karkat gave him a weak, pained smile, pulling himself up on Dave's shoulder. As soon as he had his feet under him again, he hit Flee.

They raced past the sign, and this time Karkat got a good look at it:

"**Welcome to Hotland!**"

They hadn't gone much father, when Karkat's phone suddenly trilled. He fumbled with it, skidding to a halt as he pulled it out, still clutching Dave's arm.

"Hello?" He shouted into it. He glanced back and saw Undyne had stopped, too.

"Hey! What's up?" Papyrus' voice called through the speaker, "I was just thinking... you, me, and Undyne should all hang out sometime! I think you would make great pals! Let's meet up at her house later!" He cried excitedly, before he hung up. Karkat stared at the phone, before he looked back at Undyne, who looked equally startled, having overheard the skeleton's words. Karkat shut the phone and stuffed it into his pocket, before he turned and took off again.

He only got a few steps forward before Undyne was upon them again, swiping at their heels like a mad dog.

"Stop running away!" She thundered.

His Soul still red, and only just emerging to fight, Karkat clutched Dave's hand tighter as he punched Flee.

They ran past the sign and emerged out of the tunnel, into a world of yellow and orange. It was hot, hot, _hot_\- Karkat cried out at the sight of fucking _lava_ below them, the smell of smoke and brimstone choking the air out of his lungs.

They were running towards a sentry station, and to both of their amazement, a familiar, fat skeleton was asleep inside it.

"Sans! Help us!" Dave roared, but the skeleton kept snoozing as they ran on, Undyne still right behind them. She seemed to pause by the station, though, giving the boys a chance to hound across a small bridge.

On the other side was a water cooler, of all things. As they neared it, the footsteps behind them suddenly slowed. Karkat dared to look back, and saw Undyne had stopped, her fins flapping weakly and sweat pouring down her face.

"Armor... so... hot..." She croaked, "But I can't... give up..." She took a few, struggling steps forward. She blinked, before her eyes rolled up in her head and she fell forward.

She collapsed to the ground; fainted from the heat. Karkat and Dave stared at her, before looking at one another. Karkat looked over at the water cooler, then back at Undyne; her fins were drooping, and he saw gills on the sides of her neck, flapping weakly.

He took a deep breath and let it out aggressively, followed by a string of select swears. Releasing Dave's hand, he walked over to the water cooler and snatched up a paper cup. The cooler burbled as it belched water into the little container. Once it was full, the troll turned and marched over to the soldier.

Up turning the cup, he poured the water over her head and neck. She twitched, her gills fluttering happily and fins perking up. Slowly, she opened her eyes and blinked. After a moment, she pushed herself to her feet and stared around. She focused on him, blinking rapidly, and Karkat cringed back, expecting another attack.

Her face expressionless, she spun on her heel and marched away.

Karkat and Dave watched her go, before looking at one another.

"... Holy shit, dude." Dave said at last. Karkat snorted, moving back over to him.

"Shut up. I'm- if she comes back, I'm just pushing her into the lava." He hissed, refilling the cup, only to drain it into his own mouth. Dave joined him, getting his own drink and downing it, before refilling his cup and splashing himself.

"That was still... nice, I suppose." He told the troll, water dripping off his chin.

"I only did it because I know how much it hurts. Eridan is insufferable when he gets overheated, he said his gills can get messed up from overexposure to heat." Karkat huffed, almost defensively, crushing the cup and tossing it away.

"Hm. Fair enough. Let's find the nearest Save and get out of here." Dave conceded. Karkat didn't argue, taking Dave's hand and leading the way.

The next area split into four paths. Ahead of them, a giant, white building loomed, with a red sign that simply read, "**Lab**". All kinds of tubes and wires lined the walls, the whole building humming.

"Holy fuck." Karkat stared at it, before looking at the other paths; to their right, a pair of knights in black armor stood shoulder to shoulder, blocking the path. To the left was a set of stairs that lead downwards. In the middle of the intersection, was a Save point.

He made a beeline for it, as Dave released his hand to go talk to the guards.

"Wassup guys?" He asked.

"Sorry, Undyne, like, told us there was totally a human in the area. So, like, us Royal Guards are blocking off the elevators for now. Ngah! Even if the elevators aren't working anyway, we'll do our best, Ms. Undyne!" He said in a rather Californian, surfer-dude accent. Dave nodded slowly.

"A'ight, cool, keep it up, then." He said, turning and quickly heading back to Karkat, who was eyeing the giant laboratory again. "You okay, Karks?" He asked him. The troll nodded.

"Yeah. Let's go see if they have AC." He huffed, striding towards the giant doors. Chuckling, Dave followed.


	32. Chapter 32

Dave grabbed Karkat's hand before they got too close to the lab.

"Wait a sec, man." He said, motioning towards their right, "We didn't check what's down there." Karkat paused and looked over at the stone stairs.

"Oh, right."

The two of them turned away from the lab and headed down the steps. Both froze when they hit the bottom.

They'd reached a dead end of sorts. The ground here was soft, like the marsh, and was cut off by the river that burbled past. However, sitting in the river, was a boat, in which stood a figure in a black cloak, everything covered by their cowl and hood. Karkat shook his head and tried to turn away, head back up the steps, but Dave grabbed his sleeve.

"Don't be rude." He frowned.

"They look like a fucking reaper, Dave, I'm not fucking with that." Karkat hissed. Dave rolled his eyes.

"Oh, please." He gripped the troll's sleeve tightly and all but dragged him towards the boat. "Hi!" The blonde said, a little louder than he meant to.

"Tra la la~! I am the riverman. Or am I the river woman? It doesn't really matter. I love to ride in my boat. Would you care to join me?" They spoke in a singsong voice, never once turning to look at them.

"Uh, sure, where we headed?" Dave asked.

"I can take you to Snowdin. Or to Waterfall. Tra la la~." They hummed. Dave perked up, turning to Karkat.

"Oh, yeah! Didn't Paps want us to meet him at Undyne's? Her place was probably that house that looked like a fish, we could-"

"No!" Karkat's eyes went wide, "Are you fucking serious? No! I'm not going to go visit her! She was just trying to kill us, Dave!" He huffed.

"So did Paps," Dave pointed out, "You fought him, you dated him, you're friends now. You fought Undyne, let's go hang with her, and see where it goes." Karkat crossed his arms, scowling.

"Fuck no. Papyrus was different, he never set out to _kill_ us. How do we know it's not a fucking trap?"

"Because Papyrus invited us! If he's there, Undyne won't do shit, I'd bet anything on it. Come on, man." He insisted. Karkat frowned deeper, but sighed reluctantly.

"Fine. But if she tries to kill us I'm going to kick your ass." He grumbled. Dave grinned and kissed his cheek.

"Deal." He turned back to the riverman, "Can we go to Waterfall, please?"

They bobbed their head. "Then we're off..." They motioned the boys closer, and they clambered into the boat. It began to drift down the river, propelled by an invisible force. Darkness swallowed them as they drifted through a tunnel, the only light coming from crystals that lined the walls. It was dead quiet for a while, other than the rush of the river. "Tra la la~." The riverwoman said at last, "Hm. I should have worn a few more pairs of pants today."

"Why?" Dave asked them, laughing, but they didn't answer. After a few more minutes, the boat ghosted up beside another natural dock.

"Here we are. Come again sometime. Tra la la~." They sang. The boys climbed out of the boat, Dave thanking them profusely, before they set off.

Up the path, Dave was surprised to see them back in front of the turtle's shop. Taking Karkat's hand, he turned away from it and headed to the left, and they emerged back into the giant divergence that lead to Napstablook's house, and elsewhere. Dave started for the path at the far side on the right- the one to Undyne's place- but Karkat pulled on his hand and made him stop.

"I'm Saving first." He said firmly, motioning to the glimmering star.

"Oh, yeah, smart." Dave agreed, letting Karkat take the lead.

Once the troll had saved, he took a deep breath and looked towards the trail they were meant to take. "Okay. Let's do this." He sighed, leading Dave towards it.

When they stepped into the yard, both were surprised to see Papyrus, standing in front of the door.

"Papyrus!" Dave's face lit up and he hurried towards the beanpole skeleton. Papyrus looked up and beamed.

"Oho! The human and Dave arrive! Are you ready to hang out with Undyne?" He asked cheerily.

"Uh, well-" Karkat began, but Papyrus rushed on.

"I have a plan to make you three great friends!"

Karkat sighed for the umpteenth time. "'Kay, great."

"Okay! Stand behind me!" He ordered, turning and knocking loudly on the teeth-like door. He glanced back at them, "Psst. Make sure to give her this!" He reached into his pocket and pulled out a large bone, wrapped in yellow paper and red ribbon, "She loves these!" He passed it back to Dave, who held it in his free hand. A moment later, the door opened.

There stood Undyne, no longer in armor. She wore a pair of ripped up jeans and a black tank top, over house slippers that looked like pufferfish; despite her casual attire, she was also wearing eyeshadow and mascara. Dave was surprised to see she was quite... curvaceous, despite the mountains of muscles she was hosting; she looked like she could crush a melon between her thighs, he thought.

"Hi, Papyrus!" She said cheerfully, "Ready for your extra-private, one-on-one training?" Dave glanced at Karkat and wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. Despite himself, Karkat's lips twitched into a smile, and he halfheartedly punched Dave's shoulder, making the Strider snicker.

"You bet I am!" Papyrus was saying, "And I brought a friend!" He exclaimed, before he stepped out of the way. Undyne, surprised, glanced at them quickly.

"Hi, I don't think we've..." Her happy voice trailed off as she realized who they were, her face falling. Her smile instantly looked like a grimace, clearly forcing it to stay as she glared at Papyrus out of the corner of her eye. "Why don't. You three. Come in?" She spat through clenched teeth, before she whirled around and stomped back inside. Papyrus beamed at them, before ducking in after her.

"We are _so_ going to die." Karkat whispered as he and Dave followed the skeleton.

They stepped inside, and Dave was surprised to see that, despite the intimidating outside, the inside of Undyne's house was quite cozy, warmly lit by a chandelier above. Blue and yellow, checkered tiles covered the ground, the walls covered in pale blue wallpaper that was decorated with bright pink fish patterns. A large window was placed into the left wall. To the left sat a lavish, black, grand piano, and a doorway on the far wall that Dave assumed lead to Undyne's room. To the right was a dining table, sat on a plush, striped carpet, with a single stool, and a lacy place mat with a fish sewn on it. Leaning against the left wall beside the table, was a giant broadsword. The far wall was where the kitchen stood. A row of counters lined the wall, complete with a large oven stove, sink, and fridge.

"Here, Undyne. My friends brought a gift for you, on their own!" Papyrus waved at Dave, who who held out the gift wrapped bone like he'd hold out meat to a rabid tiger.

"Uhh... Thanks." Undyne said reluctantly, snatching it from him, "I'll, uh, put it with the others." She turned away and went to her counter, where she pulled open a drawer overstuffed with similarly packaged bones. She stuffed the new one inside along with them and shoved it closed again, before turning to them. "So are we ready to start?"

"Whoopsy doopsy! I just remembered! I have to go to the bathroom! You three have fun!" Papyrus said loudly. Dave felt his heart sink.

"Paps, wait-" he started, before Papyrus turned towards the window. Three quick steps, and he threw himself at it. All three of them flinched as the glass shattered loudly, the skeleton crashing through it, somersaulting forward and out into the dark. Glass rained onto the carpet as he disappeared. Karkat and Dave stared at the now busted window, stunned, before glancing nervously at Undyne, who'd pressed her lips together in a thin, hard line. Catching their eyes, she scowled.

"... So _why_ are you here?" She demanded, "To rub your victory in my face? To humiliate me even further? Is that it?!"

"No!" Dave and Karkat both cried at once.

"Then why are you here?!" She snapped, before she froze, a look of realization dawning on her face. "Wait. I get it. You think I'm going to be friends with you, huh? Right?" She spat. Karkat and Dave shared a look.

"Uh... Yes?" Karkat tried tepidly. Undyne's face lit up in a mocking sneer.

"Really?! How delightful! I accept! Let's all frolic in the fields of friendship!" She cried in a voice dripping with venomous sarcasm, before her face twisted into a snarl, "Not!" She spat, her fists clenching at her sides, "Why would I _ever_ be friends with _you?!_ If you weren't my house guest, I'd beat you up right now! You're the enemy of everyone's hopes and dreams! _I will never be your friend!_ Now get out of my house!" She bared her teeth like a furious dog, eyes narrowed with disgust.

Dave and Karkat both took a step back, ready to do as she said, when a voice spoke from outside the broken window.

"Dang! What a shame... I thought Undyne could be friends with you. But I guess..." Papyrus sighed sadly, "I overestimated her." Dave could just see the skeleton peaking in at them from behind the jagged shards of glass. Papyrus grinned as he continued, "She's just not up to the challenge." Cackling softly, he slunk away, while Undyne stiffened up.

"Challenge?! What?! Papyrus! Wait a second-" She called, but the bone man was gone. She pursed her lips, rounding on Dave and Karkat again, "Darnit! He thinks I can't be friends with you?!" She put her hands on her hips, throwing back her head and laughing, "What a joke! I could make friends with wimpy losers like you two any day! I'll show him!" She narrowed her eyes, glaring at Karkat, "Listen up, human. We're not just going to be friends. We're going to be," She put her hands on her cheeks, "_Besties!_ I'll make you like me so much, you won't be able to think of anyone else!" She cackled, "It's the perfect revenge!" She paused, before she clasped her hands together in front of her, tipping her head towards the table. "Why don't you two have a seat?" She invited, smiling broadly.

Dave and Karkat once again looked at each other. The look in Karkat's eyes was one of discomfort and mild panic; Dave felt it, too, an awkward weight in his gut and the desire to just leave. This might have been a bad idea, he conceded as he and Karkat shuffled to the table. He swallowed, taking a deep breath in an attempt to steady his nerves. Yes, she was a terrifying fish woman who could probably rip them limb from limb, but... she was also being a _nice_ fish woman who could rip them limb from limb.

Karkat sat on the stool, bouncing his leg anxiously. Not having a chair for himself, Dave just sat on the floor next to him; the table was low enough that he could see over it easily, his shoulders even with the edge. He reached up and put a hand on Karkat's bouncing leg, and the troll instantly grabbed his fingers for comfort. Undyne smiled at them like a wolf would smile at a wounded rabbit.

"Comfortable? I'll get you something to drink." She turned and walked over to her fridge, pulling it open. She rummaged for a moment, then pulled out several items, setting them out on the counter; there was a stack of tea boxes, a can of hot chocolate mix, a porcelain container of sugar, and some yellow liquid in a bottle that Dave was _pretty sure_ was a soda, "All set! What would you like?" Undyne asked, gesturing to the options.

Karkat shifted, preparing to rise, when the table in front of him suddenly split in half, violently, with a bang. He leaped back, nearly toppling off his stool as he shrieked. Dave scrambled backwards, too, eyes wide at he stared at the bright blue spear that seemed to have materialized in the now busted bench top.

"Hey! Don't get up!" Undyne ordered; from her pose, Dave assumed she was where the spear had come from, "You're the guest! Sit down and enjoy yourself!" She demanded. Karkat swallowed a whimper and nodded, pressing his ass to the chair like he was trying to absorb it into his glutes. Undyne paused, almost like she could smell his fear, and stood up, clearing her throat, "Um. Why not just point to what you want? You can use the spear!" She invited.

Karkat hesitated, before he reached out and grabbed the spear, pulling it out of the splintered ruins. It was heavy and cold in his hands, almost humming with energy and making his fingers shake. Dave had to duck as Karkat swung it, trying to adjust to the weight. The troll glanced down at him.

"What should I choose?" He breathed. Dave peered at the drinks.

"Uh... Shit, man, I'd say tea. She doesn't seem like a sugar lover." He whispered back. Karkat nodded, adjusting his grip on the spear and swinging it towards the tea.

"Tea, huh? Coming right up!" Undyne practically purred- or growled. She walked over the the cabinets, pulling out a kettle, before taking it to the sink and filling it with water. She set the kettle on the stove, turning on the heat as she dropped a teabag in it. She turned back to them, that bared-teeth smile still on her face, "It'll take a moment for the water to boil." She explained unnecessarily, turning back to stare at the kettle.

Karkat just nodded, setting the spear aside, and Dave reached up to take his hand again. A minute of dead silence passed, until the kettle began to steam and whistle shrilly.

"Okay, it's all done!" Undyne said over her shoulder, walking over to her sink and grabbing a pair of mugs. She set them on the counter before pouring tea into both of them. Gripping them by the handles, she carried them to the table and set them down in front of the boys. "Here we are." She huffed, before she stalked around to the other side of the table and sat on her knees. Dave reached out and took his mug, cupping it in his hands; he could feel the heat seeping into his fingers, the steam pumping up into his face. It smelled nice, he thought; fragrant, like mint and roses. Karkat took his own mug and raised it to his face. "Careful, it's hot." Undyne warned him. He hesitated, lowering the cup again, but she scowled, "It's not _that_ hot! Just drink it already!" She snapped.

Not daring to argue, Karkat hastily raised it to his lips and took a gulp; his face quickly went red and Dave saw tears in his eyes as it burned down his throat. In an impulsive move of comradery, Dave took his own big gulp of scalding tea; it burned, it fucking burned, and he felt his face get hot, but he made himself swallow it down as he blinked back his own pained tears. The mutant wheezed, clearing his throat.

"It's... good." He croaked. Undyne nodded happily.

"Pretty good, right? Nothing but the best for my absolutely _precious_ friends!" She beamed. There was tense silence for a moment, as Undyne's smile faltered. "Hey... You know, it's kind of strange you chose _that_ tea. Golden Flower Tea... that's Asgore's favorite kind. Actually, now that I think about it, you guys kind of remind me of him." She said, leaning onto the fractured tabletop and putting her chin on her hand.

"... Yeah? How so?" Karkat rasped. Undyne snorted.

"You're all total weenies!" She crowed, laughing. Dave and Karkat shared a look, before Undyne's laugh tapered off and she frowned again. "... Sort of." She finished, her free hand tracing the grains in the woodwork. There was silence for a long moment, during which Dave took another gulp of tea. Undyne finally looked up again, a different look in her eyes.

"... You know, I was a pretty hotheaded kid." She said quietly, making both boys sit up in attention, "Once, to prove I was the strongest, I tried to fight Asgore. ... Emphasis on _tried_. I couldn't land a single blow on him! And worse, the whole time, he refused to fight back! I was so humiliated..." She reached up, running her nails down the back of her head and neck, before she resumed scratching at the wood, "Afterwards, he apologized and said something goofy. He said, "Excuse me, do you want to know how to beat me?" I said yes, and from then on, he trained me. One day, during training, I finally knocked him down." She stared at the wood, her fins drooping slightly, "I felt... bad. But he was beaming." She looked up at them again, finally, and laughed softly, "I had never seen someone more proud to have their butt kicked." She shook her head, "Anyway, long story short, he kept training me, and now I'm the head of the Royal Guard. So I'm the one who gets to train dorks to fight!"

"Like Papyrus?" Dave asked. Undyne nodded slowly, chuckling.

"Like Papyrus." She agreed. She glanced at the busted window, before she sighed, "But, um, to be honest... I don't know if... I can ever let Papyrus into the Royal Guard. Don't- don't tell him I said that!" She added hastily, "He's just... well... I mean, it's not that he's weak. He's actually pretty freaking tough! It's just that he's..." She sighed in frustration, "He's too innocent and nice! I mean, look, he was supposed to _capture_ you, and he ended up being _friends_ with you instead! I could _never_ send him into battle! He'd get ripped into little smiling shreds. That's part of why I started teaching him how to cook, you know? So, um, maybe he can do something else with his life." She drummed her fingers fingers on the table, both boys watching her with mixed feelings. She suddenly sat up, like she'd remembered they were there. "Oh, sorry, I was talking for so long, you're out of tea, aren't you? I'll get you some more." She got to her feet, even though both boys' mugs were mostly full.

She didn't get far, halfway to the sink, before she halted in her tracks, turning to them with wide eyes. "Wait a second. Papyrus... his cooking lesson... He was supposed to have that right now!" She cried, "And if _he's_ not here to have it, _you'll have to have it for him!_" She howled, before she spun and leaped onto her counter. She ran across it, kicking the objects off her counter. They crashed and clattered to the floor, spilling their contents across the tile. Undyne whirled on Karkat with a gleam in her eye, "That's right, human! _Nothing_ has brought Papyrus and I closer than cooking! Which means if I give you his lesson, _we'll become closer than you can ever imagine!_"

"Um." Karkat shrank back in fear, his eyes wide, and Undyne laughed.

"Afraid?! We're going to be best friends!" She shouted, before she launched off the counter and lunged across the broken table. She grabbed him by his sleeve and hauled him across the broken boards as he struggled and shouted incoherently. Dave leaped to his feet in alarm as Undyne dragged the terrified troll towards the counter. She released him, and he grabbed the counter to steady himself. Dave hurried to Karkat's side as Undyne brushed the stray hairs out of her face. "Now! Let's start with the sauce!" She declared, reaching up and ripping tomatoes, carrots, and even a banana down from her cabinets.

"Envision these vegetables as your greatest enemy! Now! Pound them to dust with your fists!" She bellowed. Karkat's wide eyes suddenly narrowed and he stood up straight, his trembling ceasing.

"I can do that." He growled. He took a deep breath and punched one of the tomatoes, hard enough that it hit the wall and bounced off.

"Yeah! Yeah! Our hearts are united against these healthy ingredients!" Undyne cried happily, "Now it's my turn!! Ngahh!" She roared as she swung back a fist and punched the vegetables. All of them splattered into goo on impact, and Dave was caught between admiration and terror. Karkat and Undyne were splattered with red tomato goop, on their faces and clothes. Undyne paused, seeming to realize what she'd done. "Uhh, we'll just scrape this into a bowl later. But for now!" She grabbed Karkat by the sleeve again and hauled him towards the stove.

She released him again, ripping a pot, wooden spoon, and box of pasta out of their respective places in the counter and cabinets. "We add the noodles!" She declared. She slammed the pot onto the stove, before she turned to Karkat, "Homemade noodles are the best! But I just buy store-brand! They're the cheapest!" She declared, before she cackled like a witch. "Go ahead and put them in the pot!" She directed proudly.

Karkat, a nervous- but admittedly excited- smile crawling across his face, grabbed the box of noodles and ripped the top off with his claws, before he threw it towards the pot. All the noodles clattered against the empty bottom of the pot, quickly followed by the box, too.

"YEAH!!! I'M INTO IT!!" Undyne shouted, stamping her feet excitedly, "Alright!! Now it's time to stir the pasta!! As a general rule of thumb, the more you stir, the better it is! Ready! Let's do it!"

"Don't we need wat-" Karkat began, before she shoved the spoon into his hand. He wasn't going to argue, he jammed the spoon into the pot and shook it back and forth, the noodles crackling apart and the box getting crushed.

"Go harder!" Undyne ordered, watching him. He stirred faster and she snarled, "Harder!!"

"Okay, fuck!" Karkat cried, his motions shaking the pot and sending noodles flying.

"Ugh, let me do it!" Undyne snapped. A large spear materialized in the air above the pot, before it slammed down onto the steel repeatedly, filling it with holes and dents until it was crumpled. She laughed, delighted, "Yeah! That's the stuff! Alright, now for the final step: _Turn up the heat!!_ Let the stovetop symbolize your passion! Let your hopes and dreams turn into burning fire! Don't hold anything back!" She ordered, pointing at the seemingly infinitely numbered stove knob.

"Right!" Karkat barked, grabbing it and jerking it to the right, all the way to 100.

"Hotter!" Undyne ordered, and he twisted it to 200. "Hotter, darnit!" She insisted. 300. "HOTTER!!!" 500!!! She finally seemed to realize what he was doing. "Wait, that might be too-" She began, before the stove exploded.

A loud bang like a canon went off, all three of them throwing themselves to the ground as molten, fiery metal flung across the room. In seconds, the stove, counters, curtains, piano, table- it was all burning, the chandelier popping like firecrackers as it shattered from the rapidly rising heat. Undyne, from where she'd hit the floor, slowly looked up. The boys looked up at her, too, and Dave saw both she and Karkat's faces were heat blasted and black from the explosion.

"... Ah." Undyne said at last, blinking at Karkat, "Man, no wonder Papyrus sucks at cooking." The two of them looked up at the melted mess on the stove as they all sat up. Undyne looked back at Karkat, "So... what next? Scrapbooking? Friendship bracelets?" She asked cheerily. They stared at her, and her face fell into distress and disappointment. She sighed, scratching the back of her neck. "Oh, who am I kidding." She said miserably, "I really screwed this up, didn't I?"

"A little." Karkat nodded. She sighed, hanging her head.

"I can't force you to like me, human. Some people just don't get along with each other. I understand if you don't feel that way about me."

"Undyne..." Karkat frowned.

"And if we can't be friends... That's okay." Undyne raised her head, getting to her feet, "Because, if we're not friends, it means I can destroy you without regret!" She snarled, a spear appearing in her hand.

"Fuck!" Karkat leaped to his feet and backed away. Dave was right beside him, scrambling up and backing away as Karkat's Soul flew forward. Undyne gripped the spear in front of her, her eye narrowed.

"I've been defeated, my house is in shambles, I even failed to befriend you. That's _it_. I don't care if you're my guest anymore! One final rematch! All out on both sides! It's the only way I can regain my lost pride!" She declared.

"Shouldn't we do this outside?!" Karkat cried as the tiles below them cracked from the heat of the flames.

"Come on! Hit me with all you've got!" Undyne bellowed at him, swinging her spear to the side and leaving herself open. Karkat stared at her, before he blinked, his face hardened.

"_Fine_." He hissed. He clenched his fists and lunged for her, one arm drawn back. He threw it forward, jabbing straight into her stomach with all his force.

A health bar appeared above her head, and went down by one. Both of them froze.

"... What. That's the best you can manage?" Undyne hissed. Karkat blinked twice.

"I... guess?"

"Even attacking at full force, you just can't muster any intent to hurt me, huh?" Karkat didn't answer; he had fully intended to hurt her, actually, but he wasn't going to _say_ that. She might be stronger than even Equius, he thought. Undyne backed away, and he stood up straight. "Heh, you know what, human?" She dropped her spear, and it vanished before it hit the ground, "I don't actually want to hurt you, either. At first, I hated your stupid saccharine shtick, but... The way you hit me just now, it- reminded me of someone I used to train with. Now I know you aren't just some wimpy loser."

She smiled, the first real, genuine smile she'd directed at either of them, "You're a wimpy loser with a big heart." She said softly, "Just like him." Her smile got a little sad as she looked down at her feet for a moment, before she looked back up at him, "Listen, human. It seems that you and Asgore are fated to fight. But knowing him... he probably doesn't want to." She hesitated, before she reached out and put a hand on his shoulder. "Talk to him. I'm sure you can persuade him to let you go home. Eventually, some mean human will fall down here, and I'll take _their_ Soul instead. That makes sense, right? Heh." She shook her head, before her face hardened and she gripped his shoulder tighter, "Oh, and if you _do_ hurt Asgore... I'll take the human souls, cross the barrier, and beat the _hell_ out of you! That's what friends are for, right?!" She grinned. Despite himself, Karkat smiled.

"Heh. Yeah."

Undyne grinned. "Great. Now let's get the hell out of this flaming house!" She declared. She dropped her hand, turning and heading for the door. Karkat looked back at Dave, who was grinning smugly.

"She tried to kill us." The troll pointed out, "Don't get cocky, I get to kick your ass, remember?"

"Uh-huh. You clearly have the strength for it." Dave hummed, walking over and taking Karkat's hand and hurrying after Undyne as the mutant grumbled. Undyne turned to them as they ducked out of the scorched doorway. Fire was flickering out of the windows; it almost looked like the serpent was crying, Dave thought.

"Well that was fun, huh?" She asked, laughing, "We'll have to hang out again another time! But, uh, somewhere else, I guess." She added, glancing at the burning building, "In the meantime, I guess I'll go hang with Papyrus. So if you need me, drop by Snowdin, okay? Oh! And if you ever need help, just give Papyrus a ring, okay? Since we're in the same spot, I'll be able to talk, too!"

Karkat stuffed his hand into his pocket, nodding. "Yeah, okay."

"Great! Well, see ya later, punks!" She declared, before she turned and began jogging away. She vanished down the road, and the boys looked back up at the burning house.

"... I guess fire lives there now." Dave said at last.

"Knowing this place, it's probably alive and appreciates it." Karkat muttered, wiping his face on his sleeve, "We should call Papyrus and warn him Undyne's coming." He added, pulling his phone out and dialing Papyrus' number.

"Good call." Dave agreed, before the phone picked up.

"Hello! This is Papyrus! Uh-" The skeleton began, before the sound of heavy panting came over the speaker.

"Yeah! Hey!" Undyne's voice came through.

"Hi, Undyne! How'd you get here so fast?" Papyrus asked excitedly.

"I ran." Undyne snickered.

"Wowie! Undyne! Some day I want to be as strong and sweaty as you!" Papyrus cackled, before he hung up. Dave and Karkat looked at each other, before they burst out laughing.

When their fit finally subsided, Karkat sniffed, wiping his face again.

"Ugh. We're going back to Hotland, aren't we?" He asked, adjusting his armor and turning away from the house. Dave smirked, following him back towards the Save.

"I thought you were going to kick my ass." He teased.

Karkat hummed as he touched the golden star; just in case.

"I think it can wait until we get home." He conceded, "For now, I want to get the fuck out of here."

"Fair enough. Lead the way, wimpy loser." Dave grinned. Karkat whirled on him and kicked him in the shin. As Dave yelped, the troll laughed.

"Who's the wimpy loser now?" He taunted. Dave narrowed his eyes, pursing his lips as he tried not to laugh. He grabbed Karkat by the collar and hauled him into a forceful kiss, stealing the troll's breath away.

"You are. But at least you're cute." Dave huffed when he pulled away. Taking Karkat's hand, he lead the troll- whose head was still spinning- back towards the riverman's boat.


	33. Chapter 33

When they arrived back at the riverman, Dave noticed that the bow of the boat had changed; it was now shaped like a dog head, when earlier it had been a nondescript point.

"Hey, we're back." He greeted the riverwoman, who bobbed their head.

"Tra la la. Care for a ride?" They hummed.

"Yes, please."

"Where will we go today?"

"Back to Hotland, please."

"Then we're off..." They tipped their head towards the back of the boat, and the boys climbed in. Instead of gliding forward like it had before, the boat suddenly rose into the air, and a set of wooden, dog-like legs unfolded from under it.

"What the-?" Karkat leaned over the side of the boat, looking down in alarm as the boat spun around and began to run on top of the water, galloping over the waves like a horse.

"Tra la la~" The riverman sang in the wind, "Beware of the man who came from the other world."

"The other world?" Karkat asked, looking up from watching the river, "Who's that?"

"Tra la la." Was the response he got. Not long after that, the dog-boat suddenly skidded to a stop; they were back in Hotland. The boat sank partially into the water, until the legs disappeared below, and the boys climbed out. "Come again sometime! Tra la la." The riverwoman hummed.

Dave thanked them, before he and Karkat headed back up the steps. They reached the Save Point, which Karkat activated as Dave turned to look at the lab again; they'd only been back for a minute and he was already sweltering, sweat breaking out on his palms and forehead. The heat was thick, almost choking, and Dave was more than happy to follow Karkat up to the doors of the lab once the troll took the lead.

As they neared the building, the metal doors slid open with a grinding swish, revealing darkness beyond. Karkat reached backwards, and Dave instinctively grabbed his hand. Taking a breath of sulfuric air, the troll took a bold step inside, with Dave right at his heels.

It was dark as hell; Dave could barely see a foot in front of him, a dim, flickering light up ahead being the only light source. He and Karkat edged forward, down a narrow hallway. The room was filled with the sound of electrical hums and the the thrum of machinery. A familiar smell reached Dave's nose; ramen noodles. He looked over Karkat's shoulder as the hall suddenly widened into a giant room. From the way the- thankfully cool- air shifted around them, Dave could sense a second floor above them, the air coming down from the landing over their heads.

Against the wall, to their left, next to an escalator that was running downwards, was a giant screen, mounted in front of a switchboard covered in buttons and levers. On the screen stood Karkat and Dave, in the hallway, of the lab they were standing in. Unnerved, Dave raised his free hand above his head; the Dave on screen did the same. It was a live feed, he realized. A cold shudder of fear rippled down his back.

"... Karkat?" He whispered.

"Someone's been watching us." The troll murmured, nodding.

"Those cameras- back in the forest-"

"Yeah. They've been watching since the beginning."

Dave looked up towards the ceiling; sure enough, a tiny, blinking red light signaled the presence of a camera, trained on them. He swallowed.

"Let's get the fuck out of here."

Karkat wasn't going to argue. They cautiously moved further into the room. It was dark, even with the light from the giant screen, but Dave could just make out a large desk and trashcan next to the monitor, covered in scattered papers, stacks of cups and bowls, and an old computer. Beyond that was a fridge, with a giant bag of some kind right next to it.

They hadn't gone much further past the fridge, when a metal door up ahead swished open. The boys froze as a figure stepped out. Dave squinted, trying to see, and was unprepared for the lights to suddenly flash on. He hissed, covering his eyes quickly; years of wearing shades had left him ill-prepared for sudden bright lights.

"Oh. My god." A quivering, feminine voice said. Dropping his hand and blinking rapidly, Dave finally looked at the newcomer.

She was a squat, fat, dinosaur-like monster, dressed in an over-sized lab coat and sweatpants. Giant glasses sat on her scaly muzzle. She was yellow in color, with large spikes protruding backwards on her head and amber eyes that had lizard-like, slit pupils. Pointy, buckteeth stuck out from her upper lip, and she drew a black, lizard tongue across them, staring at the boys with an anxious expression. A thick tail dragged on the ground behind her, which she pulled closer to herself.

"... Hi." Karkat said at last.

"I- I didn't expect you to show up so soon!" The dino-woman cried, looking around frantically, "I haven't showered, I'm barely dressed, it's all messy, and-" She bit her over-sized teeth into her lower lip, eyes flicking between the two of them quickly as she gulped. "Umm. H- h- hiya!" She said, taking a deep breath, "I'm Dr. Alphys. I'm Asgore's Royal Scientist. B- b- but, ahh, I'm not one of the "bad guys"! Actually, since you two stepped out of the Ruins, I've, um... been... um, "observing" your journey through my console." She pointed a claw back towards the monitor, and Dave could have sworn the scales on her cheeks turned pinker.

"Your fights... your friendships... everything!" The doctor continued, "I was originally going to stop you, but..." she put her paws on her cheeks, shaking her head in embarrassment, "Watching someone on a screen really makes you root for them. S- so, ah, now I want to help you! Using my knowledge, I can easily guide you through Hotland!" The boys looked at each other, surprised. "I know a way right to Asgore's castle, no problem!" She continued, beaming.

"Oh. Well, uh, thanks." Karkat told her, "I'm Kar-"

"Actually-" Alphys interrupted, and Dave saw her grin had fallen into a nervous, lopsided smile, "Well, um, there's just a _tiny_ issue." Karkat stopped, taking the slightest step back. Alphys saw, and quickly hurried on, "A long time ago, I made a robot named Mettaton. Originally, I built him to be an entertainment robot. Uh, you know, like a robotic TV star or something... Anyway, recently I decided to make him more useful. You know, just some practical adjustments. Like, um..." Her nervous expression worsened, and she began anxiously scratching at her wrists. "Like an- anti-human combat features?" She laughed skittishly as Karkat's face fell and the boys shared a tired look. "O- of course, when I saw you two coming, I immediately decided I have to remove those features! Unfortunately... I may have made a _teensy_ mistake while doing so. And, um..."

"Let me guess." Karkat rolled his eyes, his voice deadpan.

"Now-he's-an-unstoppable-killing-machine-with-a-thirst-for-human-blood?"Alphys said in a rush, her words mashed together, before she laughed uneasily.

"Called it." The troll muttered out the side of his mouth to Dave.

"But, umm, hopefully we won't run into him!" Alphys added hurriedly. No sooner had the words left her muzzle, when there was a loud, ringing, thud from the other side of the wall to their left, making all three of them flinch. A second slam followed it, and Alphys glanced around. "Did you hear something?" She asked them.

Five more thuds, in rapid succession, slammed against the wall, each one louder than the last. Like something was trying to break through, Dave thought; he had three guesses on who it was on the other side.

"... Oh no." Alphys said in a tiny voice, her eyes wide as she stared at where the wall had suddenly caved forward slightly.

One final, ear-shattering bang, and the drywall blasted apart. Without thinking, Dave grabbed Karkat and threw them both to the ground, the blonde on top of his boyfriend to shield him from the concrete-and-wooden hail. The blast was so strong, it knocked the lights out, the lab falling into pitch black.

"OOOH YEEESSS~!!!" A loud, flamboyant, vaguely french-accented but also robotic voice cried.

"Shit, fuck, damn." Karkat swore from under Dave, as they both raised their heads to look towards the new voice.

"Welcome, beauties!" The newcomer continued, as a spotlight suddenly shone on them, "To today's quiz show!!!"

Both boys' jaws fell open. Under the spotlight was a rectangular, metal... box, held up on a single wheel, with tube-like arms and lace-gloved hands. It was clutching a mic in its right hand, its gridded screen of a face flickering different colors. Below the screen was a strip of blinking lights and dials.

As they got to their feet, a pair of strobing disco-balls dropped from the ceiling, throwing brightly colored circles against the otherwise-dark floor and walls. Between the flashing balls, a sign dropped, with the words "**Game Show**" written in red and pink, curly letters. Loud game show music started out of nowhere; glancing up, Dave noticed speakers mounted on the walls, along with the sudden appearance of movie-quality cameras that hovered around them like drones. Looking over at Alphys, Dave saw her rocking back and forth on her feet, clutching her tail anxiously.

"Oh boy, I can already tell it's gonna be a great show!!" Mettaton- Dave was positive that's who it was- cried gleefully; as gleefully as a robot could sound. "Everyone give a big hand to our wonderful contestant!!" Mettaton clapped frantically, while the sound of an audience applauding played over the speakers. At the same time, a bucket's-worth of glitter and confetti rained down on Karkat and Dave.

"Fuck!" Karkat hissed, reaching up and ruffling his hair to get it off.

"Never played before, gorgeous?" Mettaton asked him, "No problem! It's simple! There's only one rule! Answer correctly..." The music suddenly cut out, and Mettaton's screen went red, "Or you die!!" He finished. Karkat jumped back, startled, as his Soul burst forth, his option boxes shimmering to existence.

"I don't want to fucking play!" He shouted, balling his hands into fists.

"Oh, too bad, dear!" Mettaton crooned. Karkat's lip twitch angrily and he hit Check:

_Mettaton- 10 ATK 999 DEF_   
_His metal body renders him invulnerable to attack._

"Let's start with an easy one!" The robot declared as the music kicked back in. Out of the corner of his eye, Dave saw Alphys sidle closer to the show host. "What's the prize for answering correctly?!" Mettaton demanded.

Karkat's option boxes suddenly vanished, and were replaced. Instead of Fight, Act, Item, and Mercy, he had:

A) Money  
B) Mercy  
C) New Car  
D) More Questions

Karkat hesitated, before he reached out and hit D.

"Right! Sounds like you get it!" Mettaton cried as the answers vanished and Karkat's boxes returned. The troll checked Act, but the only other option was Cry.

"Fuck that." He hissed, switching over to Mercy and hitting Spare.

"Here's your terrific prize! What's the king's full name?!" Mettaton asked dramatically. The answers appeared:

A) Lord Fluffybuns  
B) Fuzzy Pushover  
C) Asgore Dreemurr  
D) Dr. Friendship

Karkat scoffed, "Jesus fucking Christ." as he hit C.

"Correct! What a terrific answer! Now, enough about you! Let's talk about me!! What are robots made of?!" Mettaton posed dramatically, one hand on his... hip, while the other went into the air. At the same time, the new answers popped up:

A) Hopes & Dreams  
B) Metal & Magic  
C) Snips & Snails  
D) Sugar & Spice

"Uh." Karkat blinked.

"Timer's ticking, sweetie!" Mettaton reminded him, chuckling in a monotone voice. Dave, who'd been watching Alphys, stepped up behind Karkat and hissed in his ear.

"Look at Alphys." Karkat's head jerked up and he saw what Dave had seen; the lizard woman was signing to him frantically, behind the robot's back. She had her four claws standing straight up, pressed together, with her thumb over her palm; the sign language for the letter B. Karkat gave her the tiniest nod and hit the answer.

"Too easy for you, huh?" Mettaton cackled, putting a hand in front of his screen like he was covering his mouth, "Here's another easy one for you: Two trains, Train A, and Train B, simultaneously depart Station A and Station B. Station A, and Station B are 252.5 miles apart from each other. Train A is moving at 124.7mph towards Station B, and Train B is moving at 253.5mph towards Station A. If both trains departed at 10:00 AM and it is now 10:08, how much longer until both trains pass each other?"

"Aw fuck, math." Dave muttered, shaking his head as the options appeared:

A) 31.054 minutes  
B) 16.232 minutes  
C) 32.049 minutes  
D) 32.058 minutes

Karkat ignored him, looking at Alphys expectantly. The doctor curled her fingers into an O, her thumb and middle finger pressed together, while her pointer finger stuck into the air; the sign for D. Karkat glanced at Mettaton, but the robot had turned to a camera and was posing. He quickly mouthed, "Thank you." At her, before he selected the fourth option.

"Wonderful! I'm astounded, folks!" Mettaton declared into his mic, before he reached behind himself. "Don't _count_ on your victory, darling! How many flies are in this jar?" So saying, he pulled a jar out from behind his back and held it out as the new answers shimmered into place:

A) 54  
B) 53  
C) 55  
D) 52

"Oh, dude, did you ever go to carnivals, and they'd have this game?" Dave laughed, "You gotta guess like, the jellybeans in a jar, and if you get it right or the closest, you won like, a goldfish or some shit. I won one of those bitches once, called him Goldilocks the Hairless Fish. He lasted like, a week, 'cause I forgot to clean his bowl and he died from bathing in his own shit, but like-"

"Dave! Not fucking helpful!" Karkat snapped over his shoulder as he read Alphys' fingers; she had her claws curled into her palm, with her thumb on the side of her pointer finger- the sign for A. He clicked the answer as he added, "And no, carnivals were kind of bad on my planet."

"Oh yeah."

"Correct! You're so lucky!" Mettaton cried, before he twirled his wrist, pointing up at the ceiling, "Let's play Memory Game! What monster is this?" He stuck the jar back behind his back, and instead pulled out a large, folded up photograph, which depicted half a Froggit's face. The answers appeared:

A) Froggit  
B) Whimsun  
C) Moldsmal  
D) Mettaton

Karkat had to jerk his hand back before he hit A, because Alphys was frantically signing D. He gave her a puzzled look, but hit the fourth option, as instructed.

"I'm so flattered you remembered!" Mettaton gasped theatrically. He shook the photo, and it unfolded into a nearly poster-sized image of him, wearing an over-sized t-shirt with a Froggit on it. He tossed it aside as he pointed at Karkat, "But can you get this one?! Would you smooch a ghost?!"

"Would I what!?" Karkat yelled, laughing despite himself, purely at the absurdity of the question. He froze as the options appeared:

A) Heck Yeah  
B) Heck Yeah  
C) Heck Yeah  
D) Heck Yeah

"Where's the "hell yeah" option? Or even, "fuck yeah"?" Dave snickered. Karkat just sighed. He glanced at Alphys, but she was squinting at Mettaton in a mix of disbelief and disgust. Shaking his head, the troll just hit B.

"Great answer!! I love it!" Mettaton sang, practically vibrating with delight, "Here's a simple one: How many letters in the name Mettaton?" He suddenly spasmed, almost like he'd glitched, and he continued making an "nnnnnnnn" noise. The answers appeared:

A) 11  
B) 6  
C) 8  
D) 10

But as Karkat watched, the numbers began to rapidly climb. Eyes wide, he glanced at Alphys for help. She pressed her claws together and arched them ever so slightly, sticking her thumb out; the sign for C. He punched the answer, and Mettaton stopped his humming.

"Of course that was easy for you!" Mettaton whooped, "Time to break out the big guns! In the dating simulation video game "Mew Mew Kissy Cutie" what is Mew Mew's favorite food?" Both Karkat and Dave blinked dumbly.

"How in the driveling shit would I know-" Karkat began, before Alphys suddenly burst, waving her hand around excitedly.

"OH! _OH!_ I KNOW THIS ONE!!! IT'S SNAIL ICE CREAM!! IN THE FOURTH CHAPTER EVERYONE GOES TO THE BEACH!! AND SHE BUYS ICE CREAM FOR ALL OF HER FRIENDS!! BUT IT'S SNAIL FLAVOR AND SHE'S THE ONLY ONE WHO WANTS IT!! IT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITE PARTS OF THE GAME BECAUSE IT'S ACTUALLY A VERY POWERFUL- ... message about... f- friendship and..." Her squeal of excitement tapered off uncertainly as Mettaton turned to her.

"Alphys, Alphys, Alphys. You aren't helping our contestant, are you?" He asked, the over-the-top volume gone from his voice. Alphys had a flashing look of panic and she shook her head desperately. "Ooohh!! You should have told me! I'll ask a question you're sure to know the answer to!" He turned back to Karkat, "Who does Alphys have a crush on?" He inquired sweetly.

"I-" Karkat began, before the answers appeared:

A) Undyne  
B) Asgore  
C) The human  
D) Don't know

Scowling, he instantly hit D as he spat, "I literally just met this woman, how in the ever-loving bulge-fuck would I know that?"

"Yo, those are some swears I haven't heard in a while." Dave hummed behind him as Mettaton bobbed in place, like he was trying to nod.

"Correct. Dr. Alphys has a crush on... the unknowable. You see, Alphys believes there is someone out there. Someone watching her. Someone she thinks is "cute" and "interesting". Hello, theoretical person. Dr. Alphys likes you. Too bad you are not real." Mettaton hummed, before a laughter track suddenly played from his speaker. Alphys hugged herself, clearly embarrassed and uncomfortable.

"H-hey, I've done research about this! There are alternate universes out there! S-someday, maybe, I could meet them..." She said, halfheartedly defiant.

"You said the exact same thing about "Mew Mew Kissy Cutie"." Mettaton chided, "But I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. Person, if you're out there, how about giving us a sign, right now?" He invited. The music and flashing lights suddenly stopped, and all four of them froze in place. After a moment, Mettaton shrugged. "That settles that, doesn't it?" He hummed, turning to Karkat, "Well, well, well. With Dr. Alphys helping you, the show has no dramatic tension! We can't go on like this! But! This was just the pilot episode! Next up, more drama! More romance! More bloodshed! Until next time, darlings~!"

He laughed, before his arms suddenly retracted and his wheel was pulled up into his body. The boxy robot began to shake, before fire burst out from below him, and he rocketed towards the ceiling, which slid open to allow him his escape. The swarm of cameras followed, while the disco balls and sign vanished into the ceiling's panels.

When he was gone, the lights slowly flickered back on, all three of them looking up towards where he'd disappeared.

"... Well that was certainly something." Alphys said at last, as the skylight slid shut again.

"Uh-huh." Karkat agreed, shaking his head. He turned to Dave, an unreadable expression on his face.

"So, where'd you learn sign language?" Dave asked him, sensing the troll might be slipping into dark thoughts again.

"Nepeta's dancestor taught me." Karkat shrugged, brushing the remaining glitter and confetti out of his hair. He sighed. "Murderous skeletons, fish women, and now robots. Can this place get any weirder?"

"Oh, absolutely." Dave assured him, grinning, "I can't fucking wait to see what weird shit comes next."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this one took so long!! Mettaton sure likes to fucking talk, don't he? I had to look up the dialogue for this part because he and Alphys talk without the player hitting continue, so I kept missing parts. Looking up dialogue is a pain in the ass because there's no real way to find the entire script of the game (even if you do, it's not always well written). But! I found this part at least! So, hope you enjoyed!!


	34. Chapter 34

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry my uploading schedule has gotten a little wonky. I'm working on like, three projects at once, and some days you just want to play Minecraft all day, you know?

"I guess we should head out, huh?" Dave asked. Karkat hummed in agreement, pulling out his phone to check something.

"Wait, wait!" Alphys, who'd been quietly sidling closer, suddenly spoke up. Both boys looked at her as she walked up, "Let me give you my ph- phone number! Th- then, m- maybe... If you need help, I could..." She stammered. She glanced down at the device in Karkat's hand, and her eyes went huge. "Where'd you get that phone?! It's ancient!!" She held out her hand, and Karkat gave it to her. She flipped it open and poked a few buttons. "It doesn't even have texting!" She cried, sounding horrified, "Wait a second, please-" She turned and scurried towards an escalator on the other side of the lab, and rode it upwards.

"Um." Karkat blinked as she disappeared up to the second floor, before a loud, grinding, shrieking, banging noise went off. Both boys covered their ears, looking at each other in alarm. Before they could move, Alphys was back, riding the escalator behind them. She scurried over to them, the claws on her toes clicking against the tiles.

"Here! I upgraded it for you!" She said happily, holding out the device; the phone was no longer a flip phone, but instead a small, rectangular one with a touch screen, "It can do texting, items, it's got a key chain-" She gestured to a small key chain that was dangling from the end, upon which a tiny, plastic, pink cat was attached, "I even signed you up for the underground's number one social network! Now we're officially friends!" She explained giddily, before she turned to Dave. "Here, I made a second one for you!" She told him, pulling a second phone out of her pocket.

"Holy shit. Thanks, Doc!" Dave's eyes lit up and he took the device; it'd been so long since he'd had his own tech, his actual phone still on his nightstand at home.

"Uh-huh." She hesitated, scratching at her wrist nervously, before she blurted out, "I'm going to the bathroom!" She turned and ran off, towards the door she'd appeared from originally. It slid open for her and she vanished inside.

The boys watched her go, surprised, before Karkat returned to messing with his phone. His thumb pressed the big button at the bottom, and the screen lit up; the background was set to an aesthetic shot of Snowdin, Dave saw as he looked over Karkat's shoulder. Four apps were the only things installed, each labeled "Item", "Stat", "Cell", and "Chitter". Dave checked his, and saw it was the exact same.

"Huh." Karkat snorted, thumbing the Cell option, "Alternia's social network was called Chitter, too." When he pressed the app, instead of the screen changing, the boxes opened up above the screen like before:

_-Papyrus and Undyne_   
_-Toriel_   
_-Dimensional Box A_   
_-Dimensional Box B_

Karkat's eyebrows rose, and he clicked the third option. Both boys were pleasantly surprised to see a pair of boxes pop up; one was their inventory, while the other was everything they'd stored in the box back at Temmie Village.

"Yo, that's nifty." Dave hummed. Karkat nodded in agreement, tapping the app again and making the boxes vanish. He checked Stat and Item, but nothing in those options had changed. He turned the phone off and stuffed it away. Meanwhile, Dave glanced behind them. "So... wanna snoop while Alphys isn't here?" He suggested, eyeing the messy desk.

"You can. I'm going back to the Save first." Karkat told him, turning and heading back towards the entrance.

"A'ight, cool." Dave followed him, but only went as far as the fridge.

The giant bag he'd noticed earlier turned out to be a sack of dog food; it looked about half full, and he briefly wondered why a lizard would want dog food; he hadn't seen any signs of a pet. He dismissed the thought- maybe she liked weird stuff- as he opened her fridge.

It was chock full of instant noodle packets, soda, chip bags, and all manners of takeout boxes.

Memories flooded to the forefront of Dave's mind before he could stop them. Suddenly he was twelve again, squinting into his fridge at ten pm, because Bro had forgotten to make dinner again; he hadn't noticed until he'd realized it was dark out, all senses on high alert to listen for his brother's approach as his stomach rumbled desperately.

Before he could register his motions, Dave had pulled out his phone, opened one of the dimensional boxes, and put away one of the Nice Creams. Then he was grabbing one of the instant noodle packets, watching it appear in the inventory. He slammed the fridge shut and slumped against it, his brow pressed to the cool metal of the freezer as he gripped the phone tightly in his hand as several emotions coiled through his head like suffocating serpents.

"Dave?" He nearly leaped out of his skin at the sound of Karkat's voice. He whirled around, shoving the phone into his pocket.

"Yeah?" He replied, his voice breaking slightly. Karkat frowned at him, his eyebrows creased in concern.

"Are you okay?"

"Uh-huh." The Strider straightened up, forcing a smile. "I'm great, dude, promise." He turned away, heading for the messy desk, "Come on, let's see what all the doc's got going on." Still looking concerned, Karkat followed.

Dave, still attempting to tramp down the memories, forced himself to focus on the computer and desk before him. On the computer, the screen that was pulled up appeared to be the algorithm for something, several numbers and equations he didn't understand blinking at him. At the top, the tab was titled "Tile Puzzle- Snowdin- Offline". That's when it clicked.

"Oh, yeah!" He turned to Karkat, who was examining a little figurine of a human with cat ears, "The tile puzzle, in the forest, remember?" Karkat blinked at him.

"Yeah, what about it?"

"Mettaton was there! Remember that machine thing that Papyrus used?" Dave explained in a rush. Karkat frowned, thinking, before his eyes widened.

"Oh, fuck, yeah! You think he was there to spy on us?" Dave shook his head.

"More like... he was being used to make the puzzle work." He explained, gesturing to the screen. Karkat glanced at it, nodding slowly.

"That makes sense, I guess." He mused. Dave glanced around at the rest of the desk; there was a little tea cup next to the keyboard that was shaped like a lizard, and was filled with what looked like coke. Aside from the mountains of dishes, the only other thing was a huge pile of notes. He turned and shuffled through them, but everything was written in chicken scratch. From what he could make out, it seemed to be a walk through of something, or a script to a show.

"Hm. I don't think there's anything else here, dude. Let's go check out upstairs." He said at last. Karkat nodded, and the two of them headed for the far side of the lab.

As they passed the giant hole Mettaton had left, Dave noticed that it only went a few feet deep; the robot hadn't burst in from the outside, then; was he waiting _inside_ the wall? The absurdity of that thought made him snort. They passed the automatic door Alphys had disappeared into, next to which was a bathroom sign. On the other side of that, was an escalator, and a hall that lead out the back of the lab.

Dave motioned for Karkat to go first, and the two of them rode the automatic stairs upwards. When they reached the landing, the first thing Dave saw was a row of five, huge bookshelves, stuffed full of books, while to their left was a conveyor belt that stretched all the way across the room.

The closest one was full of scientific records, each shelf organized by topic. "Anatomy of Monsters, and Lack Thereof", "Magic and Its Effect on the Physical World", "The Complete Work of Robotics, Part 1", were just a few of the titles that he read on the spines. The whole thing was covered in a thin layer of dust

All of the books on the second bookshelf were titled "Human History". His interest piqued, Dave grabbed a random one and opened it. His curiosity shriveled like a slug in salt when he found himself staring at the pages of a manga; the particular page he'd opened to depicted an alien princess at war with a giant robot.

"I'm going to take a wild fucking guess and say that's not accurate in any fucking way." Karkat said mildly from where he was reading over Dave's shoulder. Dave laughed, shutting the book and putting it back.

"Absolutely not." He told him, turning to look at the next shelf. This one was full of old VHSes and DVDs of various animes; they were also labeled "Human History". Feeling increasingly exasperated, he looked at the last two bookshelves; they, too, were full of books labeled "Human History", and each one of them was a manga. "We've gotta get this woman together with Dirk." He muttered, shaking his head.

Forcing himself to turn away from the historical volumes, he moved down the room.

A bizarre machine was next; it was boxy in shape, with levers sticking off of each side. A nozzle extended from one side, from which dripped a viscus, pink fluid that splashed into a bucket below. The whole thing was whirring, a thumping noise from somewhere inside it sounding off steadily. Mounted on the wall above the machine was a rack of tools, with everything from wrenches to a full on saw.

"Okay, ew." Karkat wrinkled his nose. Dave hummed, glancing inside the machine from a little, circular glass pane; inside was a green mush, that was bubbling and moving sluggishly. Occasionally, a spray of some kind of colored mist sprayed over it, and the goop frothed up.

"I don't want to know what the fuck that does." Dave agreed, backing away and hurrying along.

Next in line was a giant worktable, covered in blueprints and tools. Above it hung a giant, pink poster of an anime catgirl. Dave paused to examine the blueprints; from a quick glance over, it appeared to be talking about mechanics in a robot. The whole table was covered in dust, too.

"Why does all her work stuff look abandoned?" Karkat asked, voicing what Dave was thinking, "I thought she said she was a scientist."

"Maybe she's reached a rough spot." Dave shrugged, "She doesn't exactly give off the vibe of someone who has their life together." He moved away, towards a wardrobe. Opening it, the only thing he saw inside was a dozen lab coats- all of them dirty and covered in some substance or another- and a single clean, black dress.

"... Okay, yeah, fair point." Karkat agreed, eyeing the lab coats.

Dave shut the doors again and looked around. The next thing was a nightstand, with only a lamp and stack of letters on it. The lamp was blue, with a pattern of pink fish on the shade. Like Undyne's wallpaper, he thought, as he turned to look at the letters. All of them were addressed to Alphys, from various monsters; all of them were unopened. Dave's fingers itched to open them, but he made himself turn away.

Finally, the last thing in the room, below another anime poster, was a big, bright blue box. As the two of them neared it, it unfolded into a queen sized bed, with- surprise!- anime covers and pillows.

"That's neat." Dave commented. He glanced around; the only thing left was a single poster. Mettaton was featured on it, surrounded by sparkles and under a spotlight. Written on the corner, in cursive, were the words, "**Thanks for making my dreams come true. -M**"

"I think that's everything here." Karkat said at last, glancing towards the escalator nearest them; the one that went downwards. "Should we go?"

"Yeah, I guess so." Dave turned away, and followed Karkat down the escalator. Back across the lab, they paused in front of the backdoor. Dave reached out and grabbed the troll's hand. "Ready?"

"Ugh. I guess."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for the shortness of this one, if I kept going it would've gone on forever.


	35. Chapter 35

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd like to apologize profusely before we start. I know I left this for like, a week or so. That was not my intention, I just found myself focused on other projects and I think we can all agree daily life is a little wonky at the moment. Thank you all for your relentless patience and loyalty to this work, I cannot tell you guys how much it means to me.

Dave and Karkat stepped out the back door of the laboratory, back into the choking, smothering, sulfuric heat of the Hotland air. Dave instantly wished they'd go back into the air conditioning; he'd put up with weeb shit if it meant some cool, vaguely ramen-scented relief.

However, Karkat took his hand and lead the way forward, so he followed. They'd barely gone six feet when their phones dinged. Surprised, Dave pulled his out and saw he had a notification from Chitter. Thumbing it open, he saw a new post:

"**Alphys updated her status!**  
**Just realized i didn't watch Undyne fight the human v. v**"

He read aloud. Karkat, who'd paused and looked back to listen, snorted, shaking his head.

"What?" Dave asked, sticking the phone back in his pocket as they kept walking.

"It wasn't much of a fucking fight." Karkat pointed out, "More of us running for our fucking lives until she had a heatstroke."

"I dunno about you, but that sounds-" Dave began, before his phone pinged again. Raising an eyebrow, he pulled it back out:

"**Alphys updated her status!**  
**Well i know she's unbeatable so i'll ask her abt it later. ^. ^**"

"-like a solid strategy, especially since it worked." Dave finished, rolling his eyes.

The path ahead turned sharply to the left and they followed it. No sooner than they'd done so, did Dave's phone ping again.

"For fucks sake!" Karkat hissed as they looked at Dave's phone once more:

"**Alphys updated her status!**  
**For now i gotta call up the human and guide them =^. ^=**" 

Dave glanced up. "... Yeah, that might be helpful." He conceded, seeing what was before them.

The path before them came to an abrupt end, before it split into a pair of conveyor belts; one that moved forward, and one that came back towards them, both of them connected by pipes and wires that hummed. On either side of them, pipes extended up, out of the darkness below, and belched white-hot flames like blowtorches.

"Fun." Karkat grunted sarcastically, leading Dave towards the belt on the left- the one that moved forward. They stepped onto it- Dave putting his phone away as he did so-, and both were startled by how fast it jolted them forward. As they adjusted to stay upright, a monster leaped out of the darkness and onto the belt to face them.

Karkat quickly stepped up, his Soul flying forward to face their opponent. ... Which was a four-legged volcano, Dave saw; the creature had leathery skin and nubby claws on the end of its paws. The name Vulkin flashed in front of them as Karkat hit Check:

_Vulkin- 8 ATK -10 DEF_   
_Mistakenly believes its lava can heal people._

"Wait-" Karkat began, alarmed.

"Speed will help dodge!" Vulkin burbled, before literal lightning burst out of her top, striking the belt around them. Karkat leaped backwards with a shriek, almost barreling into Dave. Vulkin giggled, wiggling her rump and dancing in a circle.

"She wasn't wrong." Dave pointed out, his hands on Karkat's shoulders from where he'd caught him.

"Shut up, Dave." Karkat pouted. Checking Act, he saw his options were Encourage, Criticize, and Hug. His fingers itched to hit criticize- because who the fuck thinks electrocuting people is a nice thing to do?!- but he begrudgingly hit Encourage:

-Good job!  
-Keep it up!  
-You're doing great!  
-So proud of you!  
-You've come so far!

Karkat scanned the offered phrases, before he looked up. "You're doing great!" He repeated, forcing a smile on his face. Vulkin perked up, hopping around in delight.

"Does my best!" She sang, before huge puffs of smog billowed out of her top. Dave and Karkat both clapped their hands over their noses and mouths as they backed up quickly.

Blinking back tears from the ash getting in his eyes, Karkat saw the blurry yellow letters of Vulkin's name, and was all too happy to hit Spare. The quadrupedal mountain turned and jumped off the conveyor belt, dropping forty gold as she went. Fortunately, the smoke clouds went with her.

Rubbing his eyes, Dave picked up the gold, looking up in time to see them reach the end of the ride.

"Volcanoes are fucked up." Karkat said thoughtfully, unprompted, as they stepped back onto the path and continued walking.

"Oh, yeah?" Dave asked.

"Yeah. It's like, hey, some mountains are cool. You can ski on them or carve them into people's faces or climb them or go camping. Whatever, fantastic. Then there are some that are fucking full of hot liquid that melts your bones. Sometimes you can't tell which is which until it explodes and then, surprise bitch! You're fucking dead. So is your whole family, your neighbors, your dog, and oh, as a bonus your house is fucking burned down, but that doesn't fucking matter, because you're dead, and your body is mummified in all the fucking ashes. Whatever you were doing before the explosion? That's what you'll be remembered for. Oh, you were taking a shit? Well, now your corpse is in the goddamn natural history museum, with some bullshit title like, 'Taking care of the important things before you go'. And everyone laughs at your goddamn corpse because your body is forever frozen on the crapper for all eternity and you can't even do anything about it because your vacation home in the mountains fucking exploded, and you're _dead!_"

It took every ounce of strength that Dave possessed to resist the urge to laugh; it'd been a while since he'd gotten to hear Karkat rant about bullshit.

"Fair points, bro." He managed to croak as he stamped down his giggles. He jumped, spooked, as his phone pinged, and he pulled it out to see a new notification from Chitter:

"**Alphys updated her status!**  
**gonna call them in a minute! =^. ^=**"

"Should we just call her?" Karkat asked, annoyed.

"I don't think she actually gave us her number." Dave frowned, checking the Cell app. Sure enough, it wasn't there. He tucked his phone away and looked up to see the path split once again, and once again diverge into conveyor belts; this time, though, the moving paths were bigger, and twisted this way and that way. He and Karkat moved towards the left one and rode it in silence, listening to the loud chugging and rumbling of the machinery.

"... Know what this place reminds me of?" Dave hummed at last, looking around, "LOHAC."

"Oh, shit. Yeah. Didn't your consorts boil you alive or something?"

"Yeup. That was fun." Dave snorted, putting his hands in his pockets. Karkat glanced up at him, but Dave's eyes were vacant as the Strider got lost in memories.

The boys hopped off the belt as it brought them to the end, and they carried on, past rows of the fire-belching pipes.

Both of them came to a stop as they reached where the path turned to the right; a Save Point sat before them, but so did a veritable lake of churning, boiling lava. To their right sat a giant, grated vent that was pumping out steam in intervals, a red arrow painted on the metal that pointed off the edge of the ledge.

"This _definitely_ reminds me of LOHAC." Dave commented as Karkat activated the Save. They turned away, heading towards the vent, when their phones went off. Karkat got to his first this time:

"**Alphys updated her status!**  
**I HATE USING THE PHONE I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS LMAO ^. ^**"

"We'll be out of Hotland by the time she fucking calls." the troll sighed, exasperated, as he shoved the device back in his pocket and moved closer to investigate the grate. The whooshing sound it emitted with every pulse of steam was accompanied by a loud, dull sound below the ground that reminded Dave of cogs smashing together as they spun. Below all of that was a nearly subsonic roar that he couldn't hear, but could certainly feel. Karkat frowned at the arrow painted on the grate. "Are... we supposed to jump, or-?" He asked.

Dave watched the steam burst out of the vent; it was rushed and violent, pumping out at a high velocity. Without a thought, he stepped onto the grate. A heavy gurgle sounded below, before the next eruption of steam exploded out from below. With a shriek, Dave found himself suddenly thrust into the air and propelled forward, over a three foot gap in the ground.

Before he could even feel scared, he was dropped just as suddenly, onto the other side of the gap; he'd landed on a small, L shaped piece of ground, with two vents. One would send him back to the other side, while the other one would send him flying to the left. He took several quick hops forward to stay upright, then turned and looked back at Karkat, who was still standing on the other side, stunned.

"I figured it out!" Dave shouted across the rift, grinning. Karkat scowled at him, before he stepped onto the grate. He had just enough time to take a deep breath before he, too, was thrown into the air by the steam. The mutant squealed, his eyes wide as he plummeted. Dave stepped forward, arms out, and _caught_ him in his arms with a grunt. "Howdy, stranger." He greeted the disheveled troll, kissing him on the cheek as he put him down.

"Yeah, yeah, fuck off, Mr. Super Hero Flighty Powers. I'm sure you loved that." Karkat huffed.

"I did." Dave agreed smugly, "I haven't been able to fly since we got here, that was fun."

"Ugh." Karkat grunted, disgusted, and turned away. Just as he did so, their phones chimed:

"**Alphys updated her status!**  
**omg ive had my claw over the last digit for 5 minutes omg im just gonna do it im just gonna call!!!**"

Karkat rolled his eyes, before he marched towards the next vent. Dave watched him lock up and tense as the vent threw him across the next gap. Without Dave there to catch him, Karkat hit the ground on the other side, and his legs buckled. He sprawled forward, and Dave quickly jumped onto the vent to join him.

"You okay?" He asked, concerned, as Karkat got to his feet.

"Yeah." Karkat huffed, brushing his armor off and shaking his head. Both of them looked around; the ground here was Z shaped, with one vent heading left, while the other went right. "Which way, do you think?"

"Let's try right-" Dave began, before a loud hum filled the air. Both boys looked up, alarmed, as a miniature fucking _plane_ flew at them, stopping a few feet away. It was no bigger than a large dog, and was wearing what appeared to be a showercap with bunny ears. The windshield shifted like eyes, a mouth painted on the nose.

"What the fuck!" Karkat cried, bewildered, as his Soul flew forth. The troll stared, dumbfounded, before he hit Check:

_Tsunderplane- 8 ATK 6 DEF_   
_Seems mean, but does it secretly like you?_

"No way! Why would I like _you?!_" The plane snarled, before dozens of tiny airplanes burst out from her- it seemed like a her, from the voice, Dave reasoned- wings, swarming towards Karkat like hornets.

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck-!" Karkat chanted as he threw himself to the ground to avoid them.

"Hmph!" Tsunderplane sniffed as her mini planes vanished. Karkat growled as he picked himself back up and checked the options, which were Approach or Flirt. After a moment's thought, he hit Approach and walked closer.

"E- eh? Human-?" Tsunderplane spluttered, the sides of her nose turning pink, while her wings were enveloped in a green glow. Billowing clouds of smoke rushed at them, but the troll sidestepped them and reached out to touched the wings gently, making the plane's cheeks turn pinker. Encouraged, he selected Approach again and took another step forward. "H- human..." Tsunderplane mumbled, her nose positively glowing as Karkat touched her wings again.

The troll glanced down to see her name in yellow, and hit Spare.

Instantly, the plane zoomed backwards and sped away, dropping sixty gold as she went. Dave scooped it up as he stepped forward.

"Volcanoes, airplanes, fucking- what the hell else lives here? Sentient street lamps?" Karkat huffed, his Soul fading.

"You were just like Tsunderplane, you know. When we first met." Dave told him. Karkat rounded on him.

"I was not!" He shouted. Dave just looked at him and raised an eyebrow. Karkat opened his mouth, then shut it again, his cheeks turning red. "Shut up!" He snapped, marching towards the right vent and stomping on it.

Snickering, Dave followed, and the two of them launched onto the next island. This one was long, with a vent that offered a way back to their right. They passed it as they headed to see what laid at the other side of the twisty path.

They arrived at a vent that was shaking violently, the grate flipping back and forth so that its arrow changed direction. Behind it was a tangled mess of conveyor belts. To their left was a tiny, empty island, while to the right, there was something partially buried in the ground. Dave waited until the arrow was flipped towards the right, before he jumped on the vent. Just as he suspected, it launched him to the right.

He landed next to the object and pulled out his phone; sticking another Nice Cream into the dimensional box, he reached down and grabbed the object.

What he pulled out was a cast-iron frying pan, with the burned remains of food still stuck to the bottom. It vanished into their inventory, and Dave turned around to see Karkat pull out his own phone to read:

_Burnt Pan- Weapon ATK 10_   
_Damage is rather consistent_   
_Consumable items heal 4 more HP_

"Hm." Karkat nodded slowly, before he pulled off his gloves. Pulling the pan out of their inventory, he stuck it through his belt as the Tough Gloves vanished into their Items. He then opened the deminsional box again and stuck the gloves inside.

Meanwhile, Dave hopped on the conveyor belt. It swung him around and delivered him back to Karkat's side.

"Why'd you switch 'em?" Dave asked him, "The gloves do more damage."

"We haven't fought anyone." Karkat pointed out, "The pan heals more, so with it and the armor, I'm fucking set." He explained proudly.

"A'ight, fair enough. Let's get going." Dave conceded.

They turned and headed back. Two vents later, they were back at the Z shaped island, and they took the left option this time.

As they both landed, Karkat's phone suddenly rang. He pulled it out, but before he could hit the button to pick up, the ringing stopped.

"... They hung up." Karkat blinked.

"I have a guess on who that was." Dave mused, glancing around; the path swung to the right here, and there was a vent just ahead that would launch them back towards the start.

"Yeah, me too, and I bet we're both right." Karkat sighed, turning to follow the right fork.

They both came to a stop as, ahead of them, the walkway became a tangled sheet of pipes, but that wasn't what made them pause. No, they stopped because of the orbicular robots that hovered overhead, shooting fucking laser beams across the path and blocking the way.

As both boys froze, Karkat's phone trilled for a second time. He pulled it out quickly and thumbed the answer button.

"Hello?" He called, trying and failing to keep the irritation out of his voice.

"Uhh, h- hi, so, the blue lasers- Uhh! I mean! Alphys here! Hi! The blue lasers won't hurt you if you don't move! O- orange ones, um... Y- you have to be moving, and they... they won't um... M- move through those ones!" The doctor stammered.

".... What?" Karkat asked.

"Uhhhh, bye!" Alphys cried, before she hung up.

"What?!" Karkat repeated, louder, and more frustrated. Before either of them could move or speak, their phones chimed:

"**Alphys updated her status!**  
**OMG I DID IT!!**  
**claws havent shook like that since undyne called me to ask about the weather.... v. v**"

"This is bullshit." Karkat rumbled, shoving his phone into his pocket. He grabbed Dave's hand and marched towards the lasers; Dave didn't answer, his brain whirling with thoughts. The first two lasers were orange, and they passed through them harmlessly. As they stopped in front of a blue laser- the drone that controlled it was hovering back and forth- their phones pinged again. "Not again!" Karkat snapped at his, so Dave pulled out his own to read:

"**Alphys updated her status!**  
**WAIT THERES NO WEATHER DOWN HERE WHY DID SHE CALL ME?!**"

"... Hey, bro?" Dave asked, tucking his phone away. They stepped forward, and froze as the laser passed them, then hurried on.

"Hang on." Karkat told him quickly. They passed several more blues and oranges, having to pause frequently. When they reached the other side, Dave saw a switch on what looked like a control tower. Karkat saw it, too, and hit it. Both looked back as the lasers powered off. "What's up?" the troll prompted as they moved on.

"Is it just me, or does Alphys seem...." He hesitated, searching for the right word, "fake?"

"Fake?" Karkat repeated as they came up to where the road took a left. As they did so, their phones dinged:

"**Alphys updated her status!**  
**Oh My God i Forgot To Tell THem Where To Go**"

Which was instantly followed by a second post:

"**Alphys posted a picture!**  
**CUte PIC OF ME RIGHT NOW ^. ^**"

Below the text was a photo of a garbage can, that had been put through several pink, glittery filters.

"Yeah. Like... I feel like she's acting. Like she's putting on a big show of being a nervous nobody. She's supposed to be a fucking scientist, I just don't think those two things... work, you know? We know she's watching us from that screen, it feels like she's treating us like TV characters, or someshit." Dave continued as they swung around to the left, which lead them up to another vent, whose arrow was spinning in every which direction. To their left and right, paths lead away, while in front of them stood a pair of giant, black doors.

Karkat pursed his lips, thinking, but before he could answer, his phone rang. Sighing, he pulled it out.

"A- A- Alphys here!!" The doctor called through the speaker the moment he picked up, "Th- the northern door will stay locked until you solve the p- puzzles on the right and left! I... I think you sh- should g- g- go right, first!" She hung up instantly, and the boys looked at each other.

"... I think I see what you mean." He said at last, looking down at the vent. He waited until it was pointing to the _left_, then hopped on. Dave followed shortly after, and they followed the road.

Ahead was a single, blue laser, and a pair of monsters sitting on the edge of the cliff, while a giant, foreboding archway sat to their right, the walls glowing with red and purple. As they walked up to the laser, Karkat's phone rang. Making an exasperated noise, he pulled it out.

"Alphys! Here! Th- that blue laser seems totally impassable! B- b- but! As the Royal Scientist, I h- have some tricks up my sleeve! I'll h- hack into th- the Hotland laser database and take it out!" She cried; through the speaker, they could hear the clickity-clack of computer keys. As Alphys hung up, the blue laser went out.

"... At least she's helping out, I guess." Karkat admitted begrudgingly, stomping forward. He turned towards the door, but Dave moved towards the pair of monsters instead. They were both females, dressed in traditional Japanese schoolgirl uniforms. The first appeared to be a being of green fire, while the other was a purple, aquatic-looking creature with a skateboard.

"Evenin', ladies." Dave greeted them, despite having no idea what time it was.

"Finally! Someone turned off that laser!" The fire girl sighed, "Now that we're free we can... well, uh, I guess we'll just keep sitting here." She mused.

"We were just hanging out when suddenly, a buncha puzzles reactivated out of nowhere." The fish girl said, grinning, "This is a huge problem... It rules! They've _gotta_ cancel school over this!" Her face quickly fell though, "Wait a second..." She groaned unhappily, "It's summer vacation!"

"Well, you're free now." Dave pointed out, gesturing towards the fiery girl as he repeated her words. The fish sighed and just shook her head, so he turned away and headed for the arch. He stepped into a tiny, dimly lit room. The wall across from him was taken up by a huge, dark screen. Looking around, he saw Karkat standing to the right, reading over a piece of paper. "What's up, man?" He asked.

"We've gotta play a game of some sort." Karkat explained, gesturing to the screen, "That's the puzzle. You have to shoot the enemy to win." Dave perked up, glancing at the screen. Sure enough, at the bottom, was a keypad one would see on a game controller.

"Dope. Lemme see." Dave stepped towards the screen and hit a button. The screen lit up, revealing a set up of boxes, and a pair of triangles on each side. He hummed thoughtfully, tapping a few of the keys. At his command, the boxes shifted around. "Ah, I get it." He grinned, happily tapping a few more times, until only a single box remained between the triangles. Next to the nearest triangle- which he assumed was supposed to be him- were two red marks.

Dave glanced at them, then hit a big red button. From the tip of his triangle fired a little red bullet, which hit the box and destroyed it, clearing the way for the second bullet, which Dave launched. It struck the other triangle, which split in half. The word "Congratulations!" flashed across the top of the screen, before it went black.

"Dope." He said again. Karkat made a noncommittal noise of agreement, and the two of them left, heading back to the vents. They hopped onto the middle, then rode the steam to the right. As they passed the doors, Dave noticed one of them was lit up and blinking.

They reached the end of the path again, where another archway awaited. A second pair of monsters were sitting on the ledge here, too, and Dave moved towards them. The first monster was a large, green, reptilian man in a business suit and sunglasses, while the other appeared to be made of solid, black smoke. He was also wearing sunglasses, but was dressed much more casually, in cargo pants and a white tank top, clutching a coffee in his hands. As Dave neared them, his phone pinged:

"**Alphys updated her status!**  
**wonder if it would be unfun if i explained the puzzle...**"

"Greetings, gentlemen." He said politely, tucking his phone away.

"The way to work is blocked, so I had time to catch Mettaton's show on my phone; the special effects were amazing today! The human almost looked real!" The lizard man said, scratching his snout thoughtfully, "Of course, an experienced viewer like me knows CGI when they see it." He added.

"Uh-huh." Dave agreed, turning to the smokey figure.

"Mettaton is the most popular star in the underground!" He rasped, taking a noisy swig of coffee, "His fan club probably has at least two... no, _three_ dozen members! And that's not even counting me!"

"Wow, what a great guy." Dave said sarcastically.

"Dave! Come play the stupid game!" Karkat called from where he stood near the arch. Dave snorted, turning on his heel and hurrying over.

They ducked into the room, where a decapitated fox head sat on the floor. Alarmed, neither of them approached it, and Dave quickly moved towards the game.

It was just like the first one, but with only two boxes to move around. Dave only had to click it twice before he could fire through the second box and hit the target. Again, the word "Congratulations!" flashed, before the screen went dark.

"That's that, then." Karkat hummed, pleased.

The two of them hurried back to the vents. Two whooshing rides later, they landed in front of the black doors, both of which were blinking. As they landed, the doors trembled and rumbled open slowly, revealing darkness beyond.

"Oh, goody." Dave muttered.


	36. Chapter 36

Through the doors, the boys rounded a corner and saw a trio of vents lined up, each on their own little islands; they'd throw them clear to the far side, Dave guessed. As they neared the first one, Karkat's phone trilled.

"Hello, Alphys." The troll said as soon as he picked up.

"Uhh... I think.. um. Hey! About the puzzles on the left and right... They're a bit difficult to explain, but-" Alphys began nervously. The boys looked at each other.

"We already solved 'em, doc." Dave told her. 

"Uh- oh! A- awesome!" The scientist laughed awkwardly, before she hung up. Karkat sighed, stuffing his phone away as he looked towards the vents.

"Jesus fuck." He muttered.

"Yup. Ladies first." Dave offered. Karkat rolled his eyes, but stepped forward, onto the vent. He took off with a rush of steam and a yelp. He hit the second one, which instantly threw him back into the air. Like a skipping stone, he hit the third, before he bounced onto the ground on the far side. "Whoop!" Dave yelped as he jumped on the first grate. He laughed as he bounced across, his hair flying into disarray as he was blasted over the lava below.

He rolled when he hit and popped back up, brushing his fingers through his hair to fix it. Karkat looked up at him.

"Having fun?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Hella." Dave grinned, kissing the troll's head before he looked around, "Where the hell are we?" They'd landed on a brightly lit, white-and-blue tiled floor. Ahead of them was a stark white, iron door. "Is this the end of Hotland?"

Karkat frowned. "I doubt it. Let's see if they have AC." He started forward, and Dave followed, taking the troll's hand as they pushed through the door.

They entered a pitch black room; it was so dark even Karkat couldn't see. It certainly had AC, Dave noted as a cold blast of air rushed them. The room smelled of steel and lemon-scented cleaning products. Dave strained to hear anything, but it was so quiet he could hear Karkat's breathing in front of him.

The two of them slowly edged into the room- their footsteps echoed loudly, Dave noted- and both of them jumped in fear as Karkat's phone went off. He quickly scrabbled for it and pulled it out.

"Hello?"

"H- hey, it's kind of dark in there, isn't it?" Alphys said through the speaker. Dave looked up; even with the light from the phone, all he could see around him was Karkat's face.

"No shit." The troll huffed.

"Don't worry! I'll hack into the light system and brighten it up!" The doctor assured him, and they heard the clatter of keyboard keys through the speaker. The lights suddenly flashed on, making both of them flinch. Dave hissed, covering his eyes as he was momentarily blinded. "Oh no." He heard Alphys say through the phone. He slowly opened his eyes and dropped his hands, blinking the spots out of his eyes.

"What the fuck?" Karkat said beside him.

They were standing in a kitchen, the kind you'd find on a cooking show; fully stocked and practically sterile from over-cleaning, with ingredients set out on the back counter. An audience of camera drones faced them to the right, blinking at them from over the main counter.

Before either of them could move, part of the floor slid back, and Mettaton rose into view, wearing a chef's hat. At the same time, loud, obnoxious music blared over hidden speakers.

"Oohh yes~!!" The robotic pop star cried gleefully as he turned to the cameras, "Welcome, beauties, to the underground's premiere cooking show: Cooking With a Killer Robot~!! Preheat your ovens, because we've got a very special recipe for you today!"

"What the fuck what the fuck what the fuck-?!" Karkat hissed under his breath, the troll's eyes wide with bewilderment. Even Dave felt like he'd gotten whiplash, staring at the boxy automaton as the cameras drifted closer.

"We're going to be making... _a cake!_" Mettaton cried theatrically, before he flung out an arm towards Karkat, "My lovely assistant here will gather the ingredients!"

"Like hell I-" Karkat began angrily.

"Everyone give them a big hand!!" Mettaton shouted over him, before an applause soundtrack played. Mettaton clapped, too, and a bucket's worth of confetti dumped from the rafters. Karkat, thoroughly confettied, growled. "Now then! We'll need sugar, milk, and eggs! Go for it, sweetheart!" Mettaton turned on Karkat as the drones clustered close, nearly in the troll's face.

"Wh-"

"Karks, just do it; maybe he won't kill us if we comply." Dave muttered in his ear. Karkat snarled, but listened. He stomped towards the counter, where the listed ingredients waited. As he snatched them up, Dave glanced around; a bright blue, crackling force field had appeared where the door had been, on either sides of the room. He was distracted by Karkat marching back and slamming the ingredients onto the counter.

"Perfect! Good job, beautiful! We've got all the ingredients we need to bake a cake!"

"I'm pretty fucking sure we-"

"Milk, sugar, eggs... Oh my! Wait a magnificent moment! How could I forget! We're missing the most important ingredient!" Mettaton bellowed over him.

"A fucking brain for your dumb ass?" Karkat muttered.

Mettaton's screen went red as he turned to face Karkat; at the same time, the robot reached into the counter cabinets and pulling out a goddamn chainsaw, revving it to life. "_A human soul!!_" The robot cried, before he advanced.

"What the fuck?!" Karkat shouted, both he and Dave backpedaling quickly. Mettaton suddenly trilled, like a phone. All three of them froze, and the robot pressed one of his own buttons.

"Hello...? I'm kind of in the middle of something here." He said, sounding just as startled as the other two felt.

"W- wait a second!" Alphys' voice cried through Mettaton's speaker, "Couldn't you make a... couldn't you use a.... C- couldn't you make a substitution to the recipe?!"

".... A substitution? You mean, use a different, nonhuman ingredient? ... Why?" Mettaton asked, his screen flickering different colors.

"Uhh... what if someone's... um... v- vegan?" Alphys suggested, sounding nervous as hell. Dave and Karkat looked at each other, then at the robot.

"... Vegan?" Mettaton repeated.

"Uh, well, I- I mean-"

"That's a brilliant idea, Alphys!" Mettaton cried unexpectedly, throwing his chainsaw to the side, "Actually, I happen to have an option right here! MTT-Brand Always-Convenient Humal-Soul-Flavor-Substitute! A can of which... is just over on that counter!" He gestured with a flourish, towards a counter that was rising out of the floor. Sure enough, sitting on top, was a can. The label was plain red, with a single, black heart stamped on it. The robot turned to Karkat, "Well, darling? Why don't you go get it?" He suggested.

Grumbling and swearing, Karkat stomped over to the counter. As he neared it, however, the whole thing began to shake, before it burst upwards.

"OKAY, WHAT THE EVER SHITTING HELL OF A FUCK?!" Karkat roared, watching as the counter rocketed towards the ceiling and beyond. Both Dave and Mettaton hurried over to him.

"By the way, our show runs on a strict schedule." Mettaton informed him as the troll rounded on him, "If you can't get the can in the next one minute, we'll just have to go back to the _original plan!_ So... better start climbing, beautiful!" He laughed, before he suddenly took off, soaring into the air, propelled by a rocket on his underside. Karkat's face was red from held in anger, the troll's fists clenched and shoulders trembling. When his phone went off, he all but ripped it out of his pocket.

"WHAT?!" He snarled at it.

"There's not enough time to climb up! F- f- fortunately, I might have a plan!" Alphys said quickly, "When I was upgrading your phone, I added a few... features."

"Yeah, what's your point?" Karkat snapped, craning his neck back to look for the top of the counter.

"You see the app that says "Jetpack?"" Alphys' question made the troll stop. He looked back down at his phone, and sure enough, a new app had appeared; a little icon of a rocket, labeled "Jetpack". "Press it!"

He did so, and both he and Dave watched in awe as the phone seemed to expand and unfold, until sure enough, it was a fucking jetpack. Karkat blinked stupidly, before he reached out and touched it. Instantly, the jetpack clung to him, slipping onto his back and buckling into place.

"Holy shit." Karkat whispered as fire burst out of the bottom of the rockets.

"There! You should have just enough fuel to reach the top! Now, get up there!" Alphys cried through the speaker.

"But I'm-" Karkat began, before a second burst of fire sent him careening upwards.

The mutant screams as he was launched, clinging to the straps for dear life. Back on the ground, Dave didn't know if he should laugh or shout.

Karkat was screaming the whole way up, several choice words and his most colorful swears. As he spiraled upwards, Mettaton appeared, toting the ingredients Karkat had been forced to fetch.

"What are you-" Karkat began, but shrieked as the robot began chucking eggs, slinging milk, and pouring flour at him. "Fuck fuck fuck fuck- fuck you!" Karkat yelled, jerking to the side. The jetpack followed his motions, and he went swerving to the right. Startled, Karkat gripped the straps tightly and threw himself back and forth, his teeth grit as he avoided the falling ingredients.

Hope burst in Karkat's chest as he saw the end of the counter. Just then, his jetpack stopped and stalled, holding him in place next to the counter. Mettaton drifted closer, tisking.

"My my. It seems you've bested me." He said forlornly, "But only because you had the help of the great Doctor Alphys!" He added quickly, before placing the back of his hand against the top edge of his screen, like he was swooning, "Oh, I loathe to think of what would have happened to you without her! Well, toodles!" He shrugged, before he began to fly away.

"Wh-" Karkat blinked, before the robot turned around.

"Oh, yes! About the substitution... Haven't you ever seen a cooking show before? I already baked the cake ahead of time! So forget it!" He added, before he flew away, once more followed by his entourage of camera drones.

Karkat stared, watching him go, before the jetpack whirred, and he began a slow descent.

As soon as his feet touched the ground again, the jetpack vanished, folding back into his cell phone and falling into his hand, where it promptly began to ring. As Dave hurried up to him, he answered it.

"Wow!" Alphys called, "We- we did it! We- we really did it! Great job out there, team! ... W- well, uh, anyway, let's keep heading forward!" She instantly hung up, and Karkat slid his phone away, silent.

Covered in confetti, milk, egg yolk and shells, and sugar, he looked like a cat someone had put through the washer, Dave thought; as in, he looked miserable.

"Bro?" He asked tepidly.

"I think Mettaton is in on this shit." Karkat said, staring at the floor.

"Yeah, me, too." Dave grimaced, putting a hand on Karkat's shoulder, "Come on, let's get you cleaned up and get out of here."

He began guiding him back towards the kitchen setup, and Karkat followed silently. Dave lead him over to the sink and turned to him. He scooped up the moping troll and set him on the counter, before he grabbed a towel that sat next to the sink.

Turning on the tap, Dave wet the towel and set about wiping down Karkat's sweater, armor, and face with warm water, humming to himself.

Karkat's eyes fluttered shut and he leaned into the gentle touches, a rusty purr chugging to life in his throat. Dave smiled softly to himself, pleased, and stole several kisses from the troll's lips as he worked.

Once Karkat was more or less mess free, he put the towel aside and pushed himself between Karkat's legs, his hands on either side of the troll, flat on the counter. Karkat opened his eyes and looked down at him.

"Hi."

"Hey."

"Why'd you stop?" The troll pouted, his purr petering out.

"'Cause I finished."

"But it felt nice." Karkat stuck out his bottom lip. Dave giggled, kissing it.

"I can give you a _full_ rub down once we get home." He assured him meaningfully, winking. He shifted his weight so he could lift one hand and pat his boyfriend on the bottom. "For now, we should get the fuck out of here, before Mettaton gets back." He added, scooping Karkat up into his arms.

Karkat, who'd gone red all the way to his ears, nodded, making a noise that vaguely sounded like "okay". He wrapped his arms around Dave's neck and buried his face in his shoulder. Dave hummed, amused, and kissed the troll's horn, before he set him down.

"Come on, you hopeless dork." He took Karkat's hand and lead the flustered troll out; the force fields had vanished, the Strider noted idly.

Just outside the studio room was a Save Point, which they quickly neared. Karkat gratefully saved, while Dave looked around.

In the distance stood an absolutely humongous, ominous, looming building that pulsed with a roaring energy, surrounded by a lake of lava. As Dave stared, Karkat's phone went off, and the troll pulled it out.

"S- see that building in the distance?" Alphys asked, not even bothering to say hello, "That's the Core. The source of all power for the underground. It converts geothermal energy into magical electricity by... uhh, anyway, that's where we're going to go. In the Core is an elevator directly to Asgore's castle. And from there... you can go home." She hung up, and the boys looked at each other. Dave felt his heart soar.

"We're nearly home." He whispered.


	37. Chapter 37

Dave and Karkat stared at the monstrous building for a long while, before Karkat grabbed the Strider's hand and turned away, marching forth on the road.

At the end of the path was a large, steel, tube-like structure, with elevator doors. The boys shared a surprised look, before Dave stepped forward and hit the button; unlike a regular elevator, it did not offer up or down options, only a single button to call the elevator. After a long moment, the doors dinged and swished open. Sharing another look, they stepped inside.

They entered a tiny, brightly lit room, with a panel full of buttons on the back wall. Dave was pleasantly surprised to feel pine-scented air conditioning waft over his head as he looked up to read the buttons.

There were two buttons that were currently glowing; one labeled "**Left Floor 1**" and the other labeled "**Right Floor 2**".

"Which should we take, do you think?" Dave asked as the troll stepped up to look, too.

"Right floor, I guess? Does that mean we're on right floor one?" Karkat suggested, scratching his cheek as he thought. Dave shrugged and pressed the button.

"We'll see, I guess." He said, as the doors swished shut behind them. They turned around as the elevator lurched violently, both of them grabbing the hand rail that was mounted at waist-level all around the room. After a minute, the rumbling stopped, and the doors dinged again, sliding back open.

Dave took the lead and cautiously poked his head out; the road they'd arrived at was empty, except for a single, small, fire monster. Assured, he stepped out, and Karkat followed. Dave glanced at the little monster.

"Uh, hi?" He tried.

"Heh. I'm Heats Flamesman. Remember my name!" The tiny fire crackled.

"Okay." Dave snorted, turning on his heel and leading Karkat away. They hadn't gone far, when the road suddenly widened, and both boys spotted a familiar face.

"Sans!" They cried at the same time.

Sure enough, sitting in yet another sentry station- that, for some ridiculous reason, had snow on the roof- was Sans. Close by stood two other monsters; one was a teal-feathered bird-woman in a pink dress, who was hovering a few feet of the ground as she clutched a hotdog in her talons. The other was another Vulkin, with a hotdog crammed into her crater.

Both Dave and Karkat ran past the other two monsters, and up to their friend's station.

"Hey, buddies, what's up?" Sans grinned.

"Sans, dude, bro, I've missed you so fucking much- what the fuck were you doing when Undyne was chasing us? I yelled, but you-" Dave began, elated at seeing his friend again, before Sans' laugh cut him off.

"Sorry, buddy, I couldn't have helped you, anyway." the skeleton shrugged.

"Why not?" Dave frowned. Sans' grin got even bigger.

"I was on break." He winked.

"Wh-" Dave blinked, before he suddenly laughed, the absurd logic getting the better of him. "Fair enough." He conceded.

"'Sides, you two seem to be in one piece, I think you did just fine." Sans added, before he turned to look at Karkat directly. "Wanna buy a hotdog?"

"What?"

"I'm sellin' hotdogs here. Thirty gold a pop." The skelly man explained. Karkat huffed, pulling out his phone and checking their Items. They had a single slot left.

"Yeah, sure." He agreed, putting the phone away. Sans dug under the counter for a moment, before he produced an oblong-shaped object, wrapped in tinfoil.

"Thanks, kid. Here's your 'dog." He passed it over the counter as Karkat dropped thirty gold on the bar. The object vanished into their inventory, to which Karkat pulled out his phone once more to read:

_"Hot Dog...?"- Heals 20 HP_   
_The meat is made of something called a "water sausage"._

"Water sausage?" Karkat repeated, raising an eyebrow.

"Yep. They're good." Sans assured him. Karkat rolled his eyes, shutting down the phone and sticking it away.

"Whatever. Thanks." He said.

Dave glanced at the other two monsters, before he went towards the Vulkin, crouching down beside her.

"Hiya."

"Toasty bun!" She sang.

"I see that. Did Sans stick it in there?"

"I have no arms!" She chirped. He snorted.

"A'ight, fair point." He gave her a thumbs up, before he strode towards the bird woman.

"I love hot dogs!" She trilled as he walked up, before she glanced at San's station and leaned in closer. "Hey... isn't it weird there's _snow_ on that guy's roof?" She whispered. Dave glanced up at the snow, and both of them stared at it for a moment; yes, it was weird, but it was also Sans, he thought. "Guess he's just too lazy to clean it off." She said at last, shaking her head in distress.

Dave hummed in response, walking back to Karkat and Sans. As he neared, he heard Karkat recounting their "date" with Undyne and Papyrus to the squat skeleton.

"- and I didn't know what the fuck to do, I just did whatever she said so she wouldn't eat us or whatever." the troll was saying, sounding exasperated, as Sans was losing his shit laughing.

"_That's_ why she's at our house?!" He cackled, "She wouldn't tell me why she was there, she just said that her house got too hot!" Sans slapped his knee as he snorted, his reaction making Karkat laugh, too. He looked up as Dave approached.

"Hey, you ready?"

"Yeah. We'll catch ya later, Sans. We gotta get going." Dave addressed their friend. Sans let out a breath to stop laughing and nodded, still grinning.

"See you kids later, then." He agreed. Dave grinned, offering a fist to the skeleton, who returned the favor, bumping knuckle bones against knuckles.

"Bye, Sans." Karkat added as the two of them turned away and carried on.

The path narrowed once again as they walked away. Looking around, Dave was surprised to see bright red, glowing gears in the distance, on their right, that spun rhythmically. He came to a halt as he stared, instinctively reaching up to touch his chest; he wasn't wearing his God Tier shirt, just his white tee with the broken record on it, but still, his symbol of Time flashed in his mind's eye as he stared at the toothed wheels. The distance was too great to see what they were attached to, but by the roar of mechanical machinery that filled the air, Dave guessed they had something to do with the Core.

A hand on his arm made him flinch, and he looked down to see Karkat staring up at him.

"Oh, hey."

"Hey. You okay?"

"Uh-huh." Dave nodded towards the cogs. "Gears." Karkat glanced at them.

"Gears." He agreed, "Come on, we can see them up close if we keep going." He took Dave's hand, and the Strider let him pull him away. Just as they began moving, their phones went off. Dave pulled out his to check it:

**"Alphys updated her status!**   
**dinner with the girlfriend ;)"**

Below that was a photo of Alphys' catgirl figurine next to a still-steaming bowl of instant noodles. Dave snorted, shaking his head as he stuck his phone away.

Before they could move, a monster dropped from the ceiling in front of them. Both boys jumped back in surprise, before Dave stepped forward; after what Karkat had gone through with Mettaton, Dave thought it only fair that he take a turn with the fights. His Soul shimmered forth as Karkat stepped back, the troll surprised but not opposed to letting the other take charge.

The monster before them was a creature made of burning rope. A tightly coiled body funneled downwards, before it split in half, each half ending in a pair of giant tennis shoes. On top of the rope coil was a head, wreathed in flames. Dave couldn't make out any features on the head, other than bright white teeth that grinned at him, and burned-black skin. He reached out and hit Check:

_Pyrope- 8 ATK 1 DEF_   
_This mischievous monster is never warm enough._

"Pyrope?!" Both of them shouted at once, shocked.

"Is it cold in here?" Pyrope asked casually, before literal bombs materialized beside him and flew towards Dave. He yelled, throwing himself to the side as the explosives went off with loud bangs. Karkat shrieked, backpedaling just as quickly. Dave quickly checked his options, which were Cool Down, Heat Up, and Invite. After a moment's thought, he selected Heat Up.

Instantly, the flame around Pyrope's head flared brighter and hotter, the air warping around his head from the heat. Pyrope bounced excitedly on his feet.

"Hot! _Hot!_ Hotter! _Hotter!_" He crowed, delighted, as more bombs rained around them. This time, as Dave flung himself away, one of the bombs had fallen just a little too close.

The blast that went off sent burning stone and molten rock flying, crashing against his skin and searing there. The Strider screeched, brushing the rocks off quickly and kicking away. He looked up at his HP, and was relieved to see it had only fallen to 16. Panting- the heat was getting to him, he realized, as sweat dripped into his eyes- he hit Heat Up again.

"Burn, baby, _burn!!_" Pyrope squealed gleefully, his fire once more bursting with vigor and heat. Managing to avoid the third barrage of bombs, Dave was relieved to see their name was in yellow. He quickly hit Spare, and Pyrope bound away, dropping forty-five gold. As Dave bent over to catch his breath, Karkat scooped up the coins and hurried to him.

"Are you alright?" The troll asked, his eyes shining with worry.

"His name... was _Pyrope_." Dave wheezed, the heat sucking all the air out of his lungs. Karkat snorted.

"Yeah, I saw that. Terezi's going to lose her shit." Both boys snickered, and Dave stood up straight, brushing himself off.

"Let's get going, I wanna get to the next Save and heal." He huffed. Karkat was beside him as they started moving again.

"Would you rather just eat something now?" The troll suggested, but Dave waved him off.

"I only lost four health, we should save our stuff for the critical hits." He said dismissively. A few minutes more of walking, and the path suddenly split before them, a new road branching to their left. They came to a stop at the crossroads. "Which way?" Dave asked.

"Left." Karkat decided, and they turned to head that way. As they did so, both of their phones dinged, and both pulled their device out to look:

**"NAPSTABLOOK22 has sent you a friend request! Accept?"**

The notification informed them.

"Napsters! Hell yeah!"Dave grinned, thumbing the 'Yes' option. As he did, though, an error message popped up, saying the request was no longer available. He frowned. "Wh-?"

"Mine did that, too. Maybe he deleted it." Karkat said, pursing his lips as he looked around. "There's an apron on the ground." he added. Dave looked up, surprised, and saw Karkat was right; the path came to an abrupt end a few feet away, and before them laid an old, stained, peach-colored apron. Karkat, his phone still out, opened their inventory and pulled out a Nice Cream. "Here, eat this so we have room." He ordered, passing it to Dave.

Dave wasn't going to argue, unwrapping the treat and sticking the popsicle in his mouth; it was raspberry flavored, and still both cold and solid, a welcome relief from the heat. He quickly devoured it, and felt- more than saw- his scratches and burns heal, and concluded his HP had refilled. Karkat, meanwhile, approached the apron and picked it up. When it vanished into the inventory, he opened their Items to read:

_"Stained Apron"- Armor DEF 11_   
_Heals 1 HP every other turn._

"You gonna wear it?" Dave asked, licking the popsicle juice off his lips.

"No." Karkat closed down the app, "The Temmie armor gives me twenty defense, while doing the same thing. I'm keeping it." He turned away, and began heading back to the main road. Dave followed, and they left, back onto the main branch, and kept going.

A few yards ahead, and the road split again, this time into a pair of conveyor belts. The one to the right hummed away from them, while the one to the left coasted closer. Along the right were three switches, mounted on grids and poles. On the far side, the road was blocked by another one of those blue force feilds. As the two of them stepped closer, Karkat's phone rang.

"Hello?" He asked as he pulled it out and answered.

"H... hi! It's Dr. Alphys." The scientist's voice called through the speaker.

"Big shocker." Karkat said sarcastically.

"This p- puzzle is kinda, um... timing- based." Alphys continued, "You see those switches over there? Y- you'll have to press all three of them within three seconds. I'll t- try to help you with the rhythm!" She offered, before she hung up.

"Uh. Alright, then." Karkat frowned, pocketing his phone as he walked towards the belt. He stopped on the edge and took a deep breath, before he stepped onto it; Dave was right behind him as Karkat stepped closer to the edge, letting the belt carry them swiftly towards the buttons.

The first one came up, and Karkat punched it, the light switching from red to green.

The second one arrived, and he slapped it, grinning as the light changed.

As they arrived at the third, Karkat's phone trilled loudly, startling them both.

"What- shit!" Karkat lunged for the button, but missed, and they were suddenly on the other side, delivered back onto the road. His phone was still shrieking, so he ripped it out and answered it.

"Now press the third one!" Alphys shouted in a rush. Karkat's nose and eye twitched like he was having a stroke, his pupils shrinking to mere slivers. Dead silence hung on the line for thirty seconds. "Um." Alphys coughed, and Dave saw the force field suddenly vanish. "H- hey! Looks like you, o- only needed to press, um, two of them!" She cried with false enthusiasm, before she hung up. Karkat let out a breath through clenched teeth, the troll resisting every urge to crush his cellular device. He shoved it back in his pocket and marched on, his Burnt Pan bouncing against his thigh. Dave followed silently.

They passed into the next area, and came to a dead stop. Before Dave could register what he was seeing, their phones pinged. He pulled his own to read:

**"Alphys updated her status!**   
**thats the last time i try to help with a puzzle lmao."**

That's unfortunate, Dave thought bleakly, before Karkat's phone rang. The troll growled, curling his lip, so Dave slipped his hand into his boyfriend's pocket and pulled out the phone, answering for him.

"Yo."

"Uh, h- hey! I'm going to the bathroom, so I'll be MIA for a bit. I'm- I'm sure you can handle this puzzle yourselves!" Alphys said quickly, before disconnecting. Dave puffed out his cheeks and let it out in a sigh as he handed the phone back. He turned to look at the expanse before them.

Several 'islands' of land lay before them, connected together by steal beams. On each section was an array of vents and buttons, the vents chugging out loads of steam.

"What the fuck are we supposed to do here?" Karkat huffed. Dave hummed.

"Take five, Karkles, lemme see." He said, walking over to the nearest vent and button combo. He stepped on the button, and saw the other vents suddenly seal off. Whatever direction they'd been facing, a vent on the opposite side slid open. In front of him, a vent that pointed forward closed, and one that pointed back opened. "Hm. A'ight. So the buttons change directions, then. We can't follow each other across, we'd fuck each other up." He said thoughtfully, as Karkat watched.

"So what do we do?"

"I could carry you across. I can't see any other way of doin' it." Dave suggested at last, chewing on his lip thoughtfully. Karkat looked out at the stretch of vents and buttons, before he sighed.

"Fine." He relented. Dave bit back a smile as he crouched down. Karkat clambered onto his back, sliding his arms around his neck. Dave reached back, slipping his arms under the troll's thighs as he stood up, and Karkat wrapped his legs around his waist.

"Cozy?"

"Fuck you." Karkat muttered, still disgruntled about Alphys.

"Yeah, you wish." Dave replied, turning and hopping onto the vent as Karkat growled at him.

Being thrown into the air with someone else was a weird experience. They went the same distance, just not as fast as before. Dave landed on the next island, right on the button, and the vents changed.

That was a problem, he thought; the only island that connected to the rest of the road was the next one in front of him, but none of the vents around him were pointing at it. he hummed, thinking, and turned, jumping onto another one.

It took ten minutes of back and forth hopping before he finally ended up on the correct island, with the correct vent pointing them onward.

Delighted to have finally solved it, he eagerly jumped on the vent and let it blast them onto the road.

"We did it, Karkles!" He said, glancing back at the troll. Karkat had his face pressed to Dave's shoulder, but he raised it at his matesprit's words.

"_You_ did it." Karkat corrected; he sounded better, Dave thought, relieved. Karkat sat up slightly and kissed his cheek, before releasing him and dropping back onto the ground. He brushed himself off, adjusting his armor.

"I did all the moving, but you were still with me. _We_ did it." Dave insisted. Karkat rolled his eyes.

"Okay, whatever. Let's just get out of here." He huffed, taking Dave's hand and turning away, marching down the road. Grinning, Dave readily followed.

The next area was situated next to a cliff, which thankfully blocked much of the hot air that was gusting around them. A little ways ahead was a computerized safe, next to a mouse hole. Next to the cliff's face was a Save Point, which Karkat headed for. As he did so, their phones chirped. Dave released his hand to check his phone:

**"Alphys updated her status!**   
**OMG? people think Mew Mew 2 is better than Mew Mew 1? LOLLLL thats a joke right..."**

"What's it say?" Karkat asked as he activated the Save. Dave read it out to him, and he heard Karkat heave a sigh.

"Cut her some slack, you're just like her when it comes to your movies." Dave chided, "I could show you miles of messages about how "50 First Dates" is subpar compared to "Love, Actually.""

"I grew out of that!" Karkat huffed, "And I said FFD is only subpar when comparing the soundtracks!" Dave raised an eyebrow, giving him a pointed look.

"Thanks for proving my point." He teased. Karkat opened his mouth, then shut it again, scrunching up his face. He turned on his heel and began walking away.

"I'm going to make you watch both of those fucking movies when we get home, then you'll see!" He called over his shoulder.

Laughing, Dave hurried after him.


	38. Chapter 38

Dave hurried after his pouting boyfriend, past the computerized safe; glancing inside, he saw a piece of slightly melted cheese locked safely behind a laser grid. They'd barely gone a few feet more, when their phones alarmed. Dave pulled his out and glanced at it:

**"Alphys updated her status!**   
**omg... DONT THEY GET IT RUINS Mew Mew's ENTIRE CHARACTER ARC"**

Which was instantly followed by a second alert:

**"Alphys updated her status!**   
**My Mew Mew 2 Review: Mew Mew Kissy Cutie 2 Is Neither Kissy nor Cutie. Its Trash. 0 Stars."**

Dave read both of them out to Karkat, who had paused to listen.

"Still think I'm like her?" Karkat asked, sticking out his tongue. Dave chuckled, taking Karkat's hand and kissing his cheek.

"Absolutely. But you're cuter." He hummed as they began moving again. He glanced to their right; they were passing what looked like a tangled mess of smoking pipes and steel beams. Ahead of them, the road hooked to the right, and they'd just reached the turn, when a voice called out behind them.

"Hey! You two! Stop!"

Both boys turned around, surprised, and saw the knights from before- the pair that had been blocking one of the paths by Alphys' lab- marching towards them.

"Oh, hey, bros." Dave waved in greeting.

"We've like, received an anonymous tip about a human wearing a sweater." The first knight- the one with the bunny ears- explained, "They told us they were wandering around Hotland right now... I know, sounds scary, huh?"

"Horrifying." Dave agreed.

"Well, just stay chill. We'll bring you two someplace safe, okay? Come with us, please." The knight and his companion turned away. Looking at each other, Dave and Karkat began to follow. They hadn't gone far, when the second knight- the one with a draconic helmet, leaned over to his friend and muttered something, bringing his colleague to a stop.

"... Huh? What is it, bro? The shirt that dude's wearing? Like, what about it?" Bunny Ears glanced back at them, a frown in his voice. He stared at Karkat for a long moment, before he looked back at Dragon Face. "Bro... Are you thinkin'... What I'm thinkin'?" He murmured. His comrade nodded, and he sighed. "Bummer. This is, like, mega embarrassing." He turned to Karkat, "We, like, actually totally have to kill you and stuff." He said, almost sounding apologetic.

"What-" The knights stepped forward, pulling out sabers that had been sheathed at their sides. Karkat quickly stepped back as the pair of them lined up, shoulder to shoulder. The troll's Soul erupted forth.

"Two on one hardly seems fair." Dave objected, but Karkat waved him away.

"They can't be harder than the dog guards, right?" The troll shrugged, before he reached out and hit Check on the first knight:

_Bunny Ears- 8 ATK 4 DEF_   
_Royal Guard member with shining, polished armor._

"Like, team attack?" Bunny Ears said.

".... Team attack." Dragon Face mumbled, before the pair of them pointed their sabers at Karkat. Bursts of orb-like fireworks exploded out of the ends of their blades, hurling towards Karkat like furious bouncy balls. Karkat ducked them swiftly, only to get one right in his shoulder. It burst on contact, in a flash of fire.

"Fuck! Ow!" He snarled, swatting the orb away, before it vanished. He quickly checked his HP; it was down to 18, but quickly went back to 19. Puffing out a breath, he hit Check on the second knight:

_Dragon Face- 8 ATK 4 DEF_   
_Royal Guard member with stuffy armor._

"Stuffy armor?" Karkat repeated, frowning thoughtfully.

"Like, perish and stuff?" Bunny Ears ordered.

"... What?" Dragon Face asked. Once more, they pointed their cutlasses at Karkat, who was suddenly set upon by fist-sized crystals. They rained down on the troll, who quickly retreated, leaping backwards and stumbling away to avoid being hit. The crystals struck the ground and _embedded_ into the stone.

"Jesus fuck." Karkat huffed, standing up straight as he contemplated his options. Selecting the second knight, he was offered the options of Check, Clean Armor, and Whisper. "Clean armor?" He glanced up, and noticed that, compared to Bunny Ears' armor, Dragon Face's was quiet dull and tarnished. Humming thoughtfully, he selected the option.

Instantly, a layer or so of dust and grime vanished from the ebony armor. The knight shifted uncomfortably.

"Getting... warmer..." He muttered. The layers continued to vanish, even as Karkat was forced to dodge a second hail of crystals. "Can't... take it..." The knight gasped, as his armor became as glossy and polished as his companion's. "Armor... too... hot!!"

"Ya'll should stop wearing full on armor in Hotland." Dave commented. Dragon Face seemed ready to take his advice. Sheathing his blade momentarily, he grabbed his breastplate and ripped it off, over his head, revealing a mighty, barrel-shaped chest and set of abs.

"Much better." Dragon sighed, as his coworker seemed to shift nervously, glancing not-so-sneakily at Dragon's chest repeatedly.

He looks bothered, Dave thought; he'd know that pining look anywhere, even under a helmet. Karkat seemed to have the same thought, as the troll selected Bunny Ears to see his options. They were the same as Dragon, except Bunny Ears' armor was already clean. Chewing on the inside of his cheek, Karkat selected Whisper. He sidled up to the fidgeting soldier, stretching onto his toes.

"Tell him!" He hissed, before he retreated.

"I- I-" Bunny Ears stammered. He gulped. "Dude, I can't... I can't take this anymore! Not like this!" He turned on his heel to face his companion, who looked over. "Bro, I like... I like... _LIKE_ you, bro!" He cried, sounding terrified, "The way you fight... the way you talk... I love doing team attacks with you. I love standing here with you, attacking and moving in sync. Bro, I, like, want to stay like this forever." Dragon stared at his coworker for a long moment, until Bunny Ears began to shift uncomfortably and coughed. "Uh. I mean, uh... Psyche! Gotcha, bro! Haha!" He said hurriedly, laughing awkwardly.

"... Bunny."

"Y- Yeah, bro?"

"Do you want to... get some ice cream.... after this?" Dragon offered softly. Bunny froze, before he nodded.

"Sure, dude! Haha!" He agreed quickly, suddenly sounding giddy.

Karkat glanced down; their names were in yellow. He hit Spare.

Both knights instantly sheathed their blades.

"See ya, bros!" Bunny called, as he and Dragon hurried away, Dragon picking up his breastplate and dropping a whopping hundred gold as they went. Just before they vanished from view, Karkat saw Bunny reach over and shyly take Dragon's hand.

The troll jumped as he felt hands on his shoulders, and looked up in time for Dave to kiss his nose.

"Good job, bro. That was cute as hell." The blonde grinned. Karkat's cheekbones went red.

"I- uh, thanks." He mumbled, moving away to collect the gold. Once it was put away, he walked back to Dave and took his hand. Dave smiled, squeezing the troll's fingers, as they turned and followed the bend in the road.

"Remember when we were like that?" Dave asked, still grinning.

"Were we ever like that?" Karkat blinked, surprised.

"Holy fuck dude, yeah. It took me, what, a year to even get up the guts to ask if I could hold your hand? Another to finally ask you out? Six months to kiss you, at _least_."

"Yeah, well..." Karkat looked away, his blush creeping up to his neck, "At least you had the bulge to do that crap. I couldn't even be around you for a while, without-"

"Being a flustered mess?" Dave finished for him. Karkat made a strangled noise the Strider took as a yes. He snickered. "Yeah, but it was cute. You'd get all flushed and stutter-y and go off about absolutely nothing, while making insinuating mentions of my lips or ass or-"

"Okay, okay, fuck, stop, I get it." Karkat coughed, his grip on Dave's hand tightening. Dave shut his mouth, smirking to himself. As they neared a second turn- this one again leading to the right- their phones pinged:

**"Alphys updated her status!**   
**oopswait how's the humnan doing"**

"Humnan?" Karkat repeated after Dave read the update off his phone.

"It's a typo, I think."

They turned the corner again, and received a second ding:

**"Alphys updated her status!**   
**Top 10 Shows That Make You Forget To Do Your Frickin Job"**

Dave snorted, putting his phone away as they ducked through an archway.

They emerged into another pitch black room.

"Oh for fucks sake." Karkat muttered beside Dave as they edged further into the darkness, "I wonder who the fuck could be-" He cut off with a startled squeak as his phone trilled. He pulled it out quickly. "Yeah?"

"Okay, I'm back!" Alphys said cheerily, "A- another dark room, huh? Don't worry! M- my hacking skills have got things covered!" They heard the frantic click-clack of keys, and the lights flashed on. Well, a single light flashed on.

A spotlight, so bright that it only made the darkness seem darker, shone on the two boys, as one of Mettaton's camera drones suddenly appeared, hovering in their face. From invisible speakers came that blaring, annoying, game show music.

"are you serious?" Alphys hissed through the phone.

"Ooohh yesss!!" Mettaton's voice rang out from the dark, amplified by the speakers, "Good evening, beauties and gentlebeauties! This is Mettaton, reporting live from MTT News!"

"MTT what?" Karkat's eyes widened, the drone zooming close to his face.

"An interesting situation has arisen in Eastern Hotland! Fortunately, our correspondents are out there, reporting live!" Mettaton continued, "Brave correspondents! Please find something newsworthy to report! Our ten wonderful viewers are waiting for you!"

"We can't see shit, how the fuck are we supposed to find anything?!" Karkat demanded, shoving the hovering drone away. Mettaton just laughed.

"Come on, he's probably left something in here, let's just find it and get this over with." Dave muttered in his ear. Keeping a grip on Karkat's hand, he moved forward. The spotlight followed them as they slowly edged around the room.

The first thing they came across was a glass of water.

"Oh my!!" Mettaton cried as they neared it, "It's a completely nondescript glass of water. But anything can make a great story with enough spin! Correspondents! Will you report it?"

"If it means ruining his show, maybe." Karkat muttered as they moved away. The next thing they found was a basketball.

"Basketball's a blast, isn't it, darling? Too bad you can't play with these balls. They're MTT-Brand Fashion Basketballs. For wearing, not playing. You can't get rich and famous like moi without beautifying a few orbs!"

"The innuendos I could make..." Dave shook his head, snorting with amusement.

"Papyrus was wearing these on our date." Karkat hissed at him. That just made Dave giggle.

"Did you play with his balls, Karkles?"

"I swear to fucking _god_-" Karkat huffed, stomping away. A few feet away, something bound out of the dark at them. It was a little, white pomeranian, which promptly jumped on Karkat and barked excitedly.

"What a sensational opportunity for a story!" Mettaton's voice rang out, "I can see the headline now: "A Dog Exists Somewhere!" Frankly, I'm blown away. Well, correspondents?" Karkat rubbed the dog's head, before he gently pushed it away, shaking his head. After the dog was a neatly wrapped gift, bound in white wrapping paper and red ribbon.

"Okay, that's obviously a trap." Karkat muttered.

"Oh my!! It's a present! And it's addressed to you, human! Aren't you jut bursting with excitement? What could be inside!? Well, no time like the _present_ to find out!"

"Hell no." Karkat pointedly turned on his heel and marched away. In the next corner was a video game case. It was completely blank.

"Ooh la la! This video game you found is dynamite!! Though I don't make an appearance in it until three-fourths in. But I like that! Appearing from the heavens like manna, slaking the audience's hunger for gorgeous robots... Ooh! That's Mettaton!" The flamboyant robot cried.

"Ugh." Karkat grunted, turning away. The final thing in the room was a giant book, with a blue cover and a picture of Mettaton on it.

"Oh no!! That movie script!! How'd- that get there?!?! It's a super-juicy sneak preview of my latest, guaranteed-not-to-bomb film: Mettaton the Movie XXVIII... Starring Mettaton! I've heard that like the other films, it consists mostly of a four hour shot of rose petals showering on my reclining body. Oh! But that's! Not confirmed! You wouldn't," He coughed robotically, "spoil my movie with a promotional story, would you?"

"If it helps you, then fuck no!" Karkat yelled at the still pestering drone.

"So what are we reporting, then?" Dave asked him.

Karkat gave him a look that said, "I'm going to do something petty." before he marched back over to the water glass.

"Phew! That was close! You almost gave me a bunch of free advertisement!" Mettaton trilled, clearly sounding less than pleased, "But! I am honored to be in the presence of such a huge lukewarm water fan, folks!"

"I'm reporting the fucking water!" Karkat shouted. Mettaton made a sound like he was clearing his throat.

"Attention, viewers! Our correspondents have found... a glass of water!" He declared theatrically, "But what's astonishing about this glass of water... is how uninteresting it is! Like all glasses of water, it's comprised of water, glass, nitroglycerin..."

"Wait a second-" Karkat interrupted, before Mettaton laughed.

"Oh my! That's not a glass of water! That's... a bomb!" Both boys jumped back and scrambled away as, on cue, the cup began to sizzle and froth, shaking as its contents changed color. "Oh no! This news report is turning into a disaster report! But don't panic! You haven't seen the rest of the room yet!"

All of the sudden, more lights flared to life, lighting the room up completely. At the same time, Mettaton swooped into view from somewhere; the robot was wearing a red and yellow tux. Looking around, Dave could see the room was huge, pipe bridges connecting any gaps in the ground. Several of the other objects were also showing signs of being explosives; the game case had opened to reveal sticks of dynamite, the present had blown open to reveal a circular, black bomb, as had the movie script.

"What the fuck?!" Karkat shouted at the robot.

"Oh my! It seems everything in this area is actually a bomb! That dog's a bomb!" Mettaton pointed at the dog, and Dave saw it was not, in fact, the fuzzy creature they'd encountered; it was a stuffed animal, whose tail was smoking. "That basketball's a bomb!" Mettaton continued, and Dave turned to see the paint peel back as the bomb lit up. "Brave correspondents..." Mettaton turned to them, "If you don't defuse all the bombs..." He suddenly whirled and pointed at the back of the room.

Turning sharply, the boys saw a gigantic, metal bomb strapped to a thick pipe-like tower. "This big bomb will blow you to smithereens in two minutes! Then you won't be reporting "live" any longer!" He cackled, "How terrible! How disturbing! Our nine viewers are going to love watching this!"

"Wait, nine? I thought you said it was-" Dave began.

"Good luck, darlings!" Mettaton shouted. Before the boys could move, Karkat's phone trilled. He whipped it out quickly. At the same time, the music suddenly changed into a high energy, frantic sounding tune.

"Yeah?!"

"D- don't worry! I installed a bomb defusing program on your phone! Use the defuse option when you're close enough to the bombs! N- now, go get 'em!" She cried, before she hung up. Looking down at his phone, Karkat saw a new app had appeared, simply called "Defuse Zone", with a little icon of a bomb.

"Do you have it, too?!" He demanded of Dave. The blonde quickly whipped out his phone to check; he, indeed, had the app. "Let's split up, then! Go!" The troll ordered, before he took off.

Dave wasted no time. Running blind, he ran through a grid of lasers and found the dynamite-filled game case. Clicking the app as he neared, a bright green light suddenly shone from his phone's flashlight, sweeping across the ground. When he shined it on the game, the fuses suddenly stopped sparking, and the game vanished. Delighted, he turned and ran to find the next one.

He found the movie script, caught on a set of conveyor belts, and quickly dispatched it, before he came across the basketball and defused it, too. As he was running towards the big bomb, Karkat came running up from another path.

"I got three of them! Did you get the others?!" He demanded urgently, glancing at the big bomb; the timer said less than thirty seconds.

"I did!" Dave assured him.

At his words, the music and timer both stopped.

"Well done, darlings!" Mettaton cried, appearing beside them, "You've deactivated all of the bombs! If you didn't deactivate them, the big bomb would have exploded in two minutes! Now it _won't_ explode in two minutes!"

"No sh-"

"Instead it'll explode in two seconds!" Mettaton cackled madly, "Goodbye, darlings!" Dave lunged for Karkat and grabbed him, turning to run. They got across the bridge of pipes, before he glanced back. Nothing was happening, he realized. Despite himself, Dave skidded to a stop and they both turned to look at the bomb, before looking at Mettaton, who seemed just as confused. "Ah. It seems the bomb isn't going off." He said, confusedly. Karkat's phone rang; still clenched in the troll's hand, he quickly hit answer.

"Th- that's because! While you were monologuing, I... I f... fix... Um. I ch- change..." Alphys said, sounding flustered.

"Oh no. You deactivated the bomb with your hacking skills." Mettaton gasped dramatically.

"Yeah! That's what I did!" The doctor shouted, louder than necessary. Mettaton clenched his fists, beginning to vibrate in what Dave interpreted as rage.

"Curses! It seems I have been foiled again! Curse you, humans! Curse you, Dr. Alphys, for helping so much! But I don't curse my eight wonderful viewers for tuning in! Until next time, darlings!" He cried, before he turned and rocketed away.

Dave and Karkat looked at one another, confusion and relief swimming in both their eyes.

"W- wow... W- we really showed him, huh?" Alphys asked through the speaker. Karkat and Dave looked down at the phone, then back at each other. "... H- hey, I know I was kind of weird at first, but I really think I'm getting more... uh, more... m- more confident about guiding you two! S- so don't worry about that b- big d- dumb robot... I- I'll protect you from him! A- and if it came down to it, w- we could just t- turn... um, nevermind. Later!" She hung up.

Dave slowly looked back up at Karkat.

"Mettaton said 'humans'." He said softly, still so stunned by the robot's words that he'd hardly registered Alphys'. Karkat nodded slowly.

"I heard that, too. Do you think... he knows, somehow?"

"I don't _see_ how he'd know, is the problem." Dave frowned. Karkat hesitated, his teeth worrying at his lip, before he took a deep breath and shrugged.

"We'll have to ask when we see him, I guess, and kick his ass until he gives us answers." He said firmly, "So let's get the fuck out of here."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I dont like that the game only calls them Royal Guard 01 and Royal Guard 02, so I gave them nicknames.


	39. Chapter 39

The boys were all too eager to get out of that area. They hurried for the far side of the room, where the path continued, before hooking to the left. Both came to a halt as the road turned left again; in front of them, much closer than before, was the Core.

This close, Dave could see the steel shimmer in the heat of the lava lake. The red and black structure thrummed with a supernaturally powerful energy that radiated up from Dave's feet into his head, making his teeth ache. For one reason or another, a painful chill ran up his spine, despite the heat. Was it fear, or excitement, he wondered as he shivered, his skin breaking out in goosebumps. As he and Karkat stared, both of them were alarmed by Karkat's phone going off once again.

"Hello?" Karkat asked when he answered, his eyes still on the Core.

"Um... I noticed you've been kind of quiet." Alphys said hesitantly, "Are... Are you w- worried about meeting Asgore?" Karkat took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"A little." He admitted.

"W- well, don't worry, okay? Th- the king is a really nice guy. I'm sure you can talk to him, and w- with your human Soul, you can pass through the barrier! S- so no worrying, okay? J- just forget about it and smile!"

"Alphys, I'm not-" The troll began, before she suddenly hung up. Grimacing, he put his phone away again. Turning on his heel, he reached back and took Dave's hand. "Come on." He huffed. Dave followed quietly, watching the back of Karkat's head.

"Karkles?"

"Yes?"

"Are you really scared of this Asgore dude?"

"Yes. Kind of."

"Would you rather I fight him, when we get to him?" Dave offered. Karkat was silent for a moment, before he looked back at him, out of the corner of his eye. He turned back around again.

"... Maybe. But everyone seems determined to believe I'm their savior human or whatever the fuck, so." He stuck his tongue out and blew an exasperated raspberry, "I might not have a choice when it comes to facing him." As he was speaking, the two of them saw the road ahead suddenly come to an end. Standing to their right was another elevator, this one marked with a sign that read "**L2**". Karkat walked over and hit the button. After a moment, the doors swished open and they stepped inside.

"Sans and Mettaton both know that I'm the real human." Dave pointed out gently, "Maybe Asgore will realize it, too."

He glanced up at the board of buttons; there were many more options than before:** "Left Floor 1"**, **"Left Floor 3"**, **"Right Floor 1"** and **"Right Floor 2"**.

"Sans and Mettaton are... different, I think. Sans knows things. He's not... normal, even for this place's standards. It's like he-" He suddenly froze, turning to Dave with rapidly widening eyes, "Like he came from somewhere else." He hissed, "Do you remember what the riverman said? "_Beware of the man who came from the other world._" They could've meant-"

"Karks, hold up. I really don't think-" Dave began, concerned, but Karkat shook his head, flapping one hand at him to make him stop talking.

"No, no, think about it! He always gets ahead of us, despite us never seeing him. He'll go one way, and appear in the opposite direction. He knows about you being human and me being a troll. He knows about Flowey. He knew the humans before had left, or died, or whatever. We've never seen him fight, so who fucking knows what sort of power he could have." He insisted.

Dave bit the inside of his cheek as he thought; the more Karkat pointed out, the more sense it made. His skeleton friend definitely had more going on than he was letting on. He nodded slowly.

"Okay. We can add him to the interrogation list. Let's just focus on getting out of here." Dave said at last, nodding to the board. "Which floor, do you think?"

Karkat made a grumbling sound in his throat, turning to look at the buttons. After a moment, he hit the first option. The doors swished shut behind them, and the elevator hummed to life.

"If Sans is from somewhere else... where is he from?" He said softly. Dave could only shake his head.

After a long minute, the elevator fell silent and the doors swished open. The two of them stepped out to see the road ahead immediately cut to the right. Turning to follow it, both pulled up short, shocked, to see they were back in front of Alphy's lab.

"We could have used the fucking elevator this whole time?!" Karkat cried, "We could have cut out so much bullshit!"

"The guards were blocking the way, remember?" Dave reminded him. Karkat grunted, stomping towards the Save Point that glimmered in front of them. He activated it, before he turned back around.

"Let's go, then." He sighed, ready to head back to the elevator, before he stopped. "Wait."

"What's up?"

Karkat didn't answer, turning and hurrying towards the stairs on the other side of the Save. Dave perked up, surprised, and followed him. They went down the steps to find the riverwoman, still sitting in their boat, waiting patiently at the natural dock.

"Tra la la~. Hello again. Care for a ride?" They asked cheerfully.

"No, thanks. I wanted to ask you something." Karkat explained, "What did you mean before, when you said to "beware the man from the other world"? Were you talking about Sans, or someone else?"

The riverman was silent for a long moment, before they finally turned their head to face the two of them. Under their hood, Dave only saw darkness, and a pair of black, shining eyes.

"Tra la la." The riverwoman hummed. "Beware the man who speaks with hands, too."

"That doesn't answer my question." Karkat pointed out, fidgeting, "Did you mean Sans or not?" The riverman's eyes narrowed ever so slightly, and they turned their head away again.

"... Tra la la. Did you ever hear the old song coming from the sea?" They asked. Karkat hissed.

"You're no fucking help! Forget it!" He fumed, whirling on his heel and stomping away. Dave hesitated, before he followed. As his foot hit the first step, the riverwoman spoke again.

"Tra la la. Monsters, humans... flowers... trolls..." Dave paused and looked back.

"What did you say?" He asked. The riverman didn't move.

"Tra la la. The angel is coming to free us all. You come again sometime. Tra la la~." Dave stared, but the riverwoman said nothing more. An uncomfortable sensation crawling up his back, Dave turned away and walked back up the stairs.

Back at the Save Point, he found Karkat waiting by the fork that lead to the elevator. Both boys were silent as they walked back to it, Dave deciding not to mention the last things the riverman had said. Pressing the button by the doors, he and Karkat stepped inside the tiny room again. Karkat hit the button for "**Left Floor 3**", and the doors hissed shut. The ride up was silent, too, except for the hum of the elevator.

When the doors whooshed open once more, the boys stepped out, and both were surprised to see a crimson carpet beneath their feet. More of the gears Dave had seen before were mounted on the wall, spinning frantically. In front of them was a pair of double doors. The air was considerably cooler here than anywhere else in Hotland, and it smelled like baked goods; it made Dave's mouth water, and he suddenly found himself longing for Jane's baking.

"Where the hell are we?" Karkat asked, looking around.

"Dunno. Let's find out." Dave took the troll's hand and started forward, pushing the doors open.

They stepped into a large parlor. The red carpet continued here, turned darker by the low lighting. Lovely, gentle piano music played from somewhere; coupled with the scent of freshly baked bread, Dave found himself unconsciously relaxing. It was so... pleasant, so nice, he thought. Walking further into the room, he saw a long table, covered in a checkered cloth, set out to their left. Placed on top of the table were an array of baked goods, from croissants to donuts. The walls were covered in large spiderwebs and arrant strings, and a second set of doors stood on the far end of the room.

Sat behind the table was a spider woman. She had pale purple skin, six arms, five eyes- the whole deal. Her hair was pulled back into a pair of short pigtails, and she was dressed in a rosy overcoat and pink, puffy, pants, with a large bow tied around her throat. Next to her table was a sign:

**"Spider Bake Sale! All proceeds go to real spiders."**

"Just like back in the Ruins." Dave murmured, the calm, peaceful atmosphere not letting him lift his voice any higher. Karkat nodded slowly, before he turned and walked towards the table.

"Hello." He greeted the spider woman.

"Welcome to our parlor, dearies~! Interested in some spider pastries? All proceeds go to real spiders!" She hissed softly, her voice musical and light, like a songbird. As she was speaking, Dave glanced around; the only other person there was a feline monster in a yellow suit, who was staring at a donut in his paws, a grief-stricken expression on his face. Dave walked over to him.

"You okay?"

"I- I- I ended up buying a donut... I... I didn't even want to, but that girl- even though I told her no, she- she kept staring at me in this creepy way and licking her lips. N- now I'm out of cash." He explained, distressed.

"Oh. Sorry, man." Dave apologized, though he wasn't sure why. He glanced around; next to the sign he'd noticed earlier were a pair of spider webs, both with pieces of paper stuck in them.

The smaller web's paper read: "**Buy a Spider Donut! Only 9999 Gold!**", while the larger web's flyer declared: "**Buy a Spider Cider! Only 9999 Gold!**"

"Jesus, they were cheaper back in the Ruins." He muttered.

"We still haven't eaten the one we got from the Ruins." Karkat pointed out as he walked up.

"Yeah, true." He glanced towards the pair of back doors. "Ready to go?" Karkat nodded, taking Dave's hand again as they headed for the doors.

Pushing them open, they stepped out onto a ledge where the road suddenly ended. Before them lay an array of islands and vents, like the puzzle from a while ago. However, these islands had no buttons; only lots of vents. As they edged closer, Karkat's phone rang.

"Hi, Alphys here!" The doctor said as soon as he picked up, "This room is like the room we saw before. There are two puzzles to the north and south. You'll have to solve them both to proceed!" She explained.

"Oh, sweet, cool." Dave hummed.

"Uh-huh." Alphys said, before she went quiet for a moment. "A- also," She added at last, "I'd like to say, I don't really... like giving away puzzle solutions. But if you need help, just call me, okay? Actually, wait, I have an idea! Let's be friends on Chitter! Then you can just ping me when you need help!"

"Um." Karkat glanced at Dave, "We're friends on Chitter already."

"O- oh. We- we are? Oh, I signed you up, didn't I? You've been reading my posts the whole time, haven't you?" Alphys' embarrassment was palpable, even through the phone. "Well!" She cleared her throat, "I hope! You agree with me! About Mew Mew Two!" She added, before she hung up.

"Right." Karkat put his phone away, "Which way first?"

"How about north?" Dave suggested, eyeing the vents. Karkat nodded, and motioned for him to proceed.

_Several_ back and forth vent jumps later, the two of them landed on the northern walkway. As they approached a doorway ahead, a pair of monsters leapt out at them.

Karkat instantly jumped forward, and found himself face to face with another Vulkin, and Tsunderplane. As his Soul flew from his chest, he selected Vulkin and chose Encourage:

-Well done!  
-Keep at it!  
-Keep going!  
-You're doing great!  
-You can do it!

He quickly scanned the options and looked at the quadrupedal volcano. "You can do it!" He repeated. Tsunderplane made an angry noise as Vulkin purred.

"Does my best!" The volcanic creature puttered, before billowing, thick smoke erupted from her top. At the same time, Tsunderplane's wings opened and dropped miniature bombs as she zoomed around, above Karkat's head.

"Fuck-!" Blinded by the smoke, Karkat did his best to leap away from the dropping bombs as they exploded on the ground. Coughing, he saw Vulkin's name had turned yellow, and he quickly hit Spare.

"H- human..." Tsunderplane whimpered, before she doubled her bombing attack.

Karkat cried out as one too many bombs dropped very close to him and went off. Shrapnel and sparks flew towards him, slicing into his legs and armor.

"Ow! Jesus fucking son of a shit bucket!" Karkat swore vehemently as the wounds began to bleed, his HP cut to 14. Angrily, he limped towards Tsunderplane, who's nose turned pink.

"H- human?" She whispered, as her wings shimmered with a green sheen. Karkat eagerly reached out and let the light envelop his hands. Shifting awkwardly, Tsunderplane backed away. Glancing down, Karkat saw her name in yellow, and he hit Spare.

She zoomed away, dropping one hundred gold as she went.

"You okay, Karkles?" Dave said immediately, as Karkat's Soul faded and he scooped up the gold.

"Fucking peachy." The troll grumbled, opening their Items and grabbing the Astronaut Food. He pulled it out and tore off the wrapper, shoving a freeze-dried ice cream sandwich bar into his mouth. He was swallowed by golden light, and he sighed with relief as his wounds healed.

Dave walked up to him as he wiped his mouth.

"What'd that taste like?" He asked curiously, as he and Karkat headed for the doorway again.

"Like cookies and cream. It was all chalky, but it melted on my tongue." The troll explained, his bad mood vanishing with the gold glimmer. They ducked through the doorway to see the same set up as before, with the shooting game. "You're up." Karkat nodded to it, before he walked over to the corner and sat down, pulling his pant leg up to make sure the wounds were healed.

Dave happily stepped forward, turning the game on. The only thing different about this one, he saw, was that he only had one shot, not two. This'll take a little more thought than the others, he thought as he began toying with the keys. It took a few minutes, before the pieces of the puzzle were all moved out of the way. He slammed his fist onto the button that fired the shot, and the other triangle broke. The "Congratulations!" flashed across the top of the screen, before the whole thing went dark. Satisfied, he turned away.

"Got it, let's go get the next one." He told Karkat, looking over at him. Karkat had his phone out, and was moving one of their Nice Creams into their Items from the dimensional box. He glanced up at Dave's words and nodded, shutting down the phone and getting to his feet. Together, they ducked out of the room.

They came to a surprised halt at the sudden appearance of two monsters, standing on either side of the walkway.

The first was dressed in a pink tanktop, red baseball cap, and jeans. His head was a flat, pink and black colored diamond. The other was dressed in a blue and pink, striped sweater, blue sweatpants, and black boots. His head was also a diamond, but it was green and black. Dave approached the first monster.

"Heya."

"Wanna know my favorite Mettaton Moment, TM? Right when everything looks the baddest, he poses dramatically. Like when he's on a cooking show and the eggs don't turn out right."

"_My_ favorite Mettaton Moment- TM- is when he beats up the heel-turning villains!" The second monster said, unprompted, "Even if it's during what is supposed to be a quiz show."

"I know the feeling." Karkat muttered. Snorting, Dave followed him back to the vents.

Many, many more vent jumps later, they landed on the southern walkway, which abruptly turned into a conveyor belt in the middle. To the right was a second belt that rolled towards them. Sharing a surprised look, the boys rode the first belt across, which dumped them back onto the path. The road then turned to the right, where a second belt waited to carry them further. However, this one had a trio of blue lasers rolling across it.

"Oh goody." Karkat huffed sarcastically as they stepped onto the belt. Both of them froze, waiting for the lasers to cut, but seeing as they were actually holding still, the lasers passed right over them, and soon they were on the other side.

"Goody." Dave echoed, looking around; to their left stood another doorway and room. As they headed for it, Karkat's phone went off. He pulled it out and thumbed the answer button.

"Hello?"

"Hey!" Alphys called happily, "This, um, doesn't have anything to do with guiding you, but... uh... hey, would you guys want to watch a human TV show together? Sometime? It's called, um, M- Mew Mew Kissy Cutie..." She offered nervously. Karkat looked up at Dave, who shrugged and nodded.

"Sure." Karkat agreed.

"R- really?!" Alphys cried, delighted, "It's so good! It's my favorite show!" She gasped, before she went off on a tangent about the show, which neither boy could follow. She spoke in a rapid-fire ramble about characters and plot, before her words stumbled to a halt. "U- um. I mean, uh. Well, I almost spoiled the whole show, but, uh! We should watch it! After you get through all this! Okay, bye!" She hung up quickly. Karkat huffed, putting his phone away and turning towards the door.

""... And then the guy realizes he loved the girl all along and the woman he was marrying was cruel and unfaithful, and he should never have been seduced by her money and promises of fame, so he runs away from the wedding to find the girl just as she's getting on an airplane and begs her forgiveness and asks her to marry him instead of going to another country, and-"" Dave quoted as they stepped into the room. Karkat looked back at him.

"What in the shitting hell are you talking about?"

"I'm quoting one of _your_ tangents about your favorite show." Dave explained, grinning, "Before you forget that you and Alphys are the same kind of dork and say something snarky about her." Karkat's face scrunched up, the troll caught between being mad and wanting to laugh.

"I can't believe you memorized that." He said at last.

"I only memorized it because you repeat it every time you re-binge the show." Dave laughed, walking up to the game and turning it on.

"It's a good show!" Karkat cried defensively.

"Yeah, I know, I binge it with you, dumbass." Dave snickered. Karkat muttered something under his breath, but Dave ignored him as he played the game. This one was much easier than the other, and he quickly had the boxes sorted and the other triangle destroyed. "Done and done. Let's go." He said, pleased, turning to the door.

He and Karkat made their way back out and headed for the conveyor belt that took them back to the main path. As they were riding it, they whooshed past a large, potted cactus that was blooming with yellow flowers.

Back at the vents, they once more began hopping across the islands, until they reached the right-most pathway. Taking Karkat's hand, Dave lead the way as the road hooked left, and they approached a pair of giant, black doors, identical to the ones from way before. The doors quaked open as they approached, and the two of them ducked inside.

They stepped into dim hallway, which was absolutely coated in cobwebs. As they followed the road to the right, they saw a Save Point up ahead. Beyond that loomed a large, purple building, with an arched, dark entrance. The smell of cobwebs fill their noses.

"Oh boy. Three guesses on what we're facing next." Karkat muttered as he activated the Save.

"If only Vriska were here." Dave said, sarcastic nostalgia in his voice. "You ready?"

Grumbling, Karkat nodded, and Dave let him lead the way towards the dark archway.


	40. Chapter 40

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ironically, I was listening to the Spiderverse soundtrack as I wrote this chapter.

Veering towards the doorway, the smell of cobwebs and dust continued to clog Dave's nostrils, until he sneezed several times into his elbow. The noise echoed off the silent walls of the hallway as he sniffled.

"Rrgh... Sorry." He muttered to Karkat, the troll looking like he was having a hard time keeping himself from sneezing.

"It's fine. Bless-" He interupted himself with his own sneeze.

"Someone seriously needs to fucking dust." Dave huffed, before he added, "Bless you, too."

Karkat grunted in agreement, swatting cobwebs out of his way as he crossed through the arch, with Dave right behind him. The building they stepped into was dark, and filled with spiderwebs. It brought both boys to a halt in shock; walls, ceiling, even the floor, were coated in giant, white, sticky strands. Among them were thousands of spiders, of every shape, size, and lethality.

"Aaaand we're done here." Dave declared, turning to walk back out, but Karkat reached back and grabbed his sleeve.

"Come on, you're supposed to be the brave one here." The troll huffed, snorting in amusement.

"I don't fuck with spiders." Dave said firmly, "I'm Texan, man, we had brown recluses and black widows. You ever been bitten by either of them? I have. It ain't pretty. Fuck spiders." Karkat rolled his eyes.

"I'll deal with the spiders, okay? I don't like them either, but you're not leaving me alone with them." The troll sighed. Dave scrunched up his face unhappily, but turned back around and allowed Karkat to lead him forward, the troll's hand sliding down from his sleeve to take Dave's hand. They stepped forward slowly, gingerly walking around the webs plastered to the floor.

The floor wasn't as black as he'd originally thought, Dave realized with a sickening roil in his gut; it was just covered in millions, possibly _billions_, of spiders. Fortunately, the arachnids fled before them, clearing the way from under their feet. They skittered up to the webs on the walls and ceiling. Daring himself to look up, Dave saw fat, purple spiders the size of his fist dangling from webs; they seemed to be watching them. As he looked at the first one, it turned and began climbing its thread upwards.

"Ahuhuhuhu... did you hear what they just said?" It hissed.

"Oh, great, they talk." Dave muttered.

"They said a human in a sweater will come through." A second spider whispered loudly.

"I heard they hate spiders." A third clicked. The two boys suddenly came to a halt as, before them, the ground became a muddled mire of empty spiderwebs.

Lacking any other way forward, thought, Karkat lead Dave across. The webs were strong, and fresh, Dave realized, as his sneakers stuck to the thick strands; their progress slowed as they had to wrench their feet out of every step.

"I heard they love to stomp on them." A fourth spider cackled.

"I heard they like to tear their legs off!" A fifth burbled.

It was getting harder and harder to move forward, the strands sticking to their shoes trying to also stick to the rest of the web. Dave's feet felt like they weighed a ton, like he was trying to walk through half-frozen maple syrup. He was clinging to Karkat's hand as he heaved himself forward, the troll having just as much trouble as him. When they were halfway across the web, a new voice chipped in.

"I heard..." A single spotlight suddenly came on, revealing the spider girl from before, standing in a giant web and surrounded by her little minions. She was clutching several teacups and teapots. Dave and Karkat froze. Looking around quickly, Dave saw some of the bigger spiders crawl closer, surrounding them. "That they're awfully stingy with their money." The girl continued before she giggled, "You think your taste is too refined for our pastries, don't you, dearies?" She hissed, her free hands balling into fists.

"Um. They are kind of made of spiders. Not a lot of people want to eat spiders." Dave said, shuffling back behind Karkat. The spider woman giggled again.

"Ahuhuhuhu... I disagree with that notion. But I think _your_ taste is exactly what this next batch needs!" She hissed, before she lunged forward.

Karkat tried to move back, but found himself cemented into the web. His Soul leaped forth, and he quickly punched Act. His options came up as Check, Struggle, or Pay 10 Gold. Below the third option was how much money they currently had: 413 gold. He hit Check:

_Muffet- 8 ATK 0 DEF_   
_If she invites you into her parlor, excuse yourself._

"Don't look so blue, deary~" Muffet chided, before she suddenly threw her teapots forward. Their lids came off, and violet colored tea spilled out, splashing across Karkat's armor and Soul. He jumped back, startled, and gasped as his Soul suddenly changed color; it became as purple as fresh grape juice, and Muffet laughed again. "I think purple is a better look on you! Ahuhuhu!"

"Oh god, imagine if Vriska was purple." Dave muttered.

"I'd rather not." Karkat said over his shoulder as he contemplated his options. After a moment, he chose Struggle; he wasn't going to just fork over their hard-earned gold.

"Why so pale? You should be proud!" Muffet hissed at him, as a swarm of spiders, running along neat lines of the web, came skittering at him. He quickly leaped back, and realized what his purple Soul did; the lines the spiders were crawling across were the only lines he could reach. Attempting to back away any further, and he found his feet paralyzed. Swearing under his breath, he danced along the rope-sized spider threads to avoid the venomous creatures.

"Of what, exactly?" Karkat demanded as he hit Struggle again.

"Proud that you're going to make a delicious cake!" Muffet told him, clapping her hand in delight. In another set of hands, she poured herself a cup of tea. Snarling, Karkat once more danced to avoid the eight-legged spinners.

"Yeah, someone already tried to make me do that, so, no thanks!" He snapped as he selected Struggle again, "So let us go!"

"Let you go? Don't be silly!" She laughed, a third wave of arthropods rushing the troll. "Your Soul is going to make every spider very happy!"

"There is only one fucking spider in the world that I care for the happiness of, and that's just because if she gets bored she sets things on fire!" Karkat snarled as he leaped from string to string.

"She sounds lovely!" Muffet giggled. A growl in his throat, Karkat punched Struggle again. The wave of spiders that came for him was even bigger this time, some of them toting pastries and throwing them at the troll. Unable to avoid the total barrage, Karkat shrieked as one of the spiders reached him, and promptly bit through the leg of his jeans, sinking its fangs into his ankle.

"Ow! Motherfucker!" He kicked, sending the spider flying into the dark. He hissed in pain, pulling up his pants to look; the bite was already turning red and swelling, twin beads of blood welling up from the punctures. "Fucking ow!" He snapped as he punched Struggle; his HP had been cut to 17.

"Oh, how rude of me! I almost forgot to introduce you to my pet! It's breakfast time, isn't it? Have fun, you two!" Muffet cried, giggling.

"What-" Karkat began.

"Karks?!" Dave shrieked behind him, making the troll whirl around. Dave was looking upwards, his eyes wide. Karkat quickly looked up, too.

Hanging above them was a _monstrous_ spider. If Vriska's lusus had been big, this thing was humongous. It began to drop to the ground, and Karkat turned, running along the threads for his life.

"What the ever loving son of a bulge fucking shit stick- fuck no!" He shouted.

The beastly arachnid roared, its voice booming so loud that the webs around it fell apart from the force of the sound. Dave, meanwhile, ran for the wall and pressed himself against it, as the "pet" lumbered after Karkat. Muffet cackled, before she called to the beast, which promptly backed down and backed away. Karkat looked back and saw the monster retreat, and hesitantly came to a stop. Having reached the ends of the threads, it wasn't like he could have gone further, anyway, as his feet became paralyzed once more until he moved away from the edge. Grimacing, he hit Struggle again.

"The person who warned us about you offered us a _lot_ of money for your Soul." Muffet told him, smiling serenely as he danced away from the spiders that drove him back to the middle of the web. One of them, not pleased with how fast he was going, bit his ankle again.

"Fuck!" Karkat kicked it away reflexively as pain shot up his leg, his HP falling to 14. He groaned through clenched teeth, hitting struggle.

"They had such a sweet smile, and... it's strange, but I swear I saw them in the shadows... changing shape?" Muffet mused. That made Karkat pause, despite the spiders above suddenly dropping large, burning hot croissants around him.

"Changing... shape?" He repeated, sidestepping the smoking treats. Muffet didn't answer, glancing at her colossal pet. Sensing what was coming, Karkat braced himself to run as he hit Struggle.

"Oh, it's lunch time, isn't it? And I forgot to feed my pet!" She giggled.

"I thought it just had breakfast!" Karkat yelled at her as the elephantine arachnid leapt to its feet and thundered towards him. To make matters worse, a swarm of Muffet's little minions came crawling towards Karkat from the other direction, trying to herd him back to the beast. Sucking in a deep breath, he charged right through the swarm.

He screamed as bite after bite was afflicted upon him; his arms, legs, one even got his hip- he swat the spiders away as the pain shot through him like lightning. He only prayed none of them were poisoning him as he scrambled away. Muffet whistled as he reached the end of the web, and her beast once more backed down, as she laughed.

"It's not fucking funny!" Karkat shouted, wiping tears out of his eyes. His HP had fallen to a worrying 9, and he quickly reached for his Items. The first thing offered was the Spider Donut they'd bought back in the Ruins. His eyebrows shot up, and he grabbed it, pulling it from the inventory and waving it at her. "See this shit?! I bought one of your fucking treats!" He snapped, before he shoved the pastry in his mouth. He was shocked to find that it tasted... delicious! The dough was crispy, and still warm, while the icing tasted like strawberry. A coating of powdered sugar coated the whole thing. He was relieved to see his HP fill back up.

"Huh? Where did you get that? Did you steal it?" Muffet scowled, before she turned to the gargantuan tarantula, "Oh, my pet~! It's time to show them what we do with thieves!" She called.

"I didn't fucking steal it!" Karkat yelled, eyes wide as he glanced at the monster. Before Muffet could reply, one of her minion spiders came crawling from the dark, something gripped in one of its legs. It waved it around frantically; it was a piece of paper, Karkat saw. Muffet looked down, surprised, and scooped up the spider, taking the paper from it.

"Huh? A telegram from the spiders in the Ruins?" She blinked, reading over the message, before she looked up at Karkat, surprised. "What? They're saying that they saw you, and... you helped donate to their cause! Oh my, this has all been a big misunderstanding! I thought you were someone who hated spiders! The person who asked for that Soul- they must have meant a _different_ human in a sweater! Sorry for all the trouble! Ahuhuhuhu! I'll make it up to you, okay? You can come back here any time, and for no charge at all, I'll wrap you up and let you play with my pet again!" She laughed.

Karkat's face visibly went pale, and she laughed harder.

"Just kidding, dearie. I'll Spare you now." She chuckled. Her name turned yellow, and Karkat was all too happy to hit Spare. The spiders fled to the walls and ceiling, and the behemoth arachnid followed, clawing back up to its place on the ceiling. Karkat's Soul turned red again, before it faded back into his chest. "Ahuhuhuhuhu..." Muffet shook her head, "That was fun! See you again, dearie!" She cooed, before the spotlight on her went dark.

Karkat turned, and found the spiderwebs were suddenly no longer constricting him; he walked over them as easily as if they were a carpet. Turning to look for Dave, he found the Strider pulling the webs off his legs and shoes. Catching his eye, Dave stood up and made his way towards him.

"Hey, you okay?" He asked worriedly, eyeing the troll; he couldn't see the spider bites that had been inflicted, but by the way Karkat was limping and gritting his teeth, he knew they must have been stinging.

"I will be. Wait here." Karkat huffed, turning and heading for the door they'd entered through, no doubt heading for the Save Point.

Dave looked around; now that the spiders were not trying to appear threatening, they scuttled about with their business. It was almost mesmerizing to watch, he thought. The arachnids moved in an inexplicable pattern, almost like a rippling wave of sorts. Even the monstrous spider was placidly working, bundling up old webs and tossing them to the floor, where teams of spiders worked to remove them. Somewhere in the dark, he heard Muffet giggle, as he got caught up watching a vividly blue spider on the wall, while it gingerly strung up new threads, placing each cord with the upmost care.

The sounds of footsteps brought him back to the present, and he turned to see Karkat coming back, looking considerably better than he had a minute ago.

"Okay, let's get the hell out of creepy town." He huffed when he approached. Dave snorted in amusement and nodded, offering him his hand. Karkat took it and turned, leading the way to the exit. He was all too happy to follow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you catch Vriska's cameo? Check the first letter of the first six paragraphs. Also, I'm sorry for the shortness of this one, but the next part is both very long and fast paced, and it's going to be difficult to do. Plus, I feel it deserves a chapter all its own, and this one would've been made too long if I'd added it here.


	41. Chapter 41

Leaving the spider-inhabited building, Dave and Karkat stepped out into what looked like a theater. Plush, royal purple carpet rolled out before them, the brick walls painted a matching violet. Taped against the wall was a poster of Mettaton.

Eyeing it, Dave saw it was advertising a stage performance.

"**A tale of star-crossed lovers, kept apart by the tides of fate.**" It read along the bottom, below a picture of Mettaton posing dramatically in the spotlight.

"How good's your acting, Karkles?" Dave asked; Karkat had come to a stop beside him as they looked at the poster.

"I know Romeo and Juliet by heart, does that count?" The troll asked, already resigning himself to Mettaton's bullshit.

"That just means you're a dweeb." Dave told him, stealing a quick kiss from the troll's cheek.

"It's a good story!" Karkat huffed defensively as they turned away.

"It's really not, babe. Romeo should've gotten with Mercutio."

"But Romeo is meant to be with Juliet! They're love could have conquered their family's rivalry, if Tybalt hadn't been killed, and-" Karkat broke off what was sure to be a very long and surely fascinating rant about a four hundred year old story, as they suddenly stepped out onto a grand stage.

Low lights came on all around them, giving the stage a moody atmosphere. The backdrop was that of a twinkling city in black and blue hues, complete with dangling, sparkly stars and a cardboard, gold-painted moon. In front of them stood a tower, with a steep set of stairs and a balcony. Glancing towards the edge of the stage, Dave saw an audience of camera drones. One by one, their little red lights came on, meaning they were recording.

"Oh boy here we go." He sighed as the two of them walked out to the center of the stage. Sure enough, a voice called out above them.

"Oh? That human... Could it be?" Looking up, the two of them saw Mettaton peaking around the corner of the tower, "My one true love?" He continued excitedly, clasping his hands in front of himself as he stepped out from behind the wall. Both Dave and Karkat dropped their jaws in disbelief; Mettaton was dressed in a dazzling, white and blue dress, with puffy sleeves and bows abound. They looked at each other, neither knowing if they should laugh or not. After a moment's pause, Mettaton shifted a little closer. "You look bored, darling. I want this to be a stellar performance, so if you won't give it your all, then I'll skip ahead for the audience's sake." He hissed at them. Karkat and Dave shared a look, before Karkat snorted and shook his head, an amused grin crawling across his face.

"Get off the stage, Dave." He muttered, before he looked up at Mettaton, "I'll preform." he added quietly.

"Wait, really?" Dave's eyes widened in surprise.

Karkat shrugged. "He'd probably try to kill us if I don't, right? Might as well." Dave hesitated, before he nodded. He headed for the edge of the stage and hopped down, taking a seat in the front row. Mettaton fidgeted excitedly.

"Let's knock 'em dead, darling~" He purred at Karkat, before he cleared his throat mechanically. He gathered the skirt of his dress and came down the stairs slowly. Out of hidden speakers came a slow, romantic song. Karkat bit the inside of his cheek as Mettaton began to sing.

"Oh my love, please run away. Monster King... Forbids your stay." He sang; Karkat was taken aback by the actually soulful, lamenting tone in the robot's voice as he slowly rolled down the steps. Reaching the bottom, he moved closer to Karkat.

"Humans must... live far apart~ Even if, it breaks my heart." The metallic superstar crooned, reaching out for Karkat's hands. Karkat gave them to him, and Mettaton pulled him close.

They began to waltz across the stage as a wind blew across them, throwing Mettaton's skirt dramatically through the air as they spun. At the same time, dozens and dozens of rose petals began to fall, sweeping across the stage on the breeze. Mettaton hiccuped like he was holding back tears, cupping Karkat's cheek with one hand. Karkat, not to be outdone, gave the robot is saddest, most brokenhearted expression, and turned his face into Mettaton's touch, his free hand grasping the robot's. The camera drones zoomed in on them, eating it up.

"They'll put you in the dungeon... It'll suck, and then you'll die, a lot." Mettaton warbled, his voice wavering as he spun away, putting his back partially to Karkat. He reached up and covered his screen like he was hiding the tears in his nonexistent eyes. Karkat took a small step towards him, reaching through the storm of petals for him, but Mettaton shied away.

He dropped his hand, contorting his expression into one of great distress. The whole time, on the inside, it was taking everything he had not to laugh; the over the top performance was too much. He just hoped Mettaton would think the tears in his eyes were from his pretend sorrow. Looking at Dave out of the corner of his eye, he saw the Strider recording the whole thing on his phone.

"Really sad... You're gonna die..." Mettaton cried with profound grief, the music on the speakers beginning to slow as it neared its end, "Cry, cry, cry~! So sad it's happening..." He finished, clutching his own shoulders. If he had knees, he surely would have fallen to them. The music finished with a trilling flair on the piano, and the last of the rose petals fell, the wind sweeping them off the stage. On the backdrop, a single shooting star fell through the sky. With fake sniffles, he turned to look at Karkat, who stood up straight and gazed back.

"So sad." Mettaton whispered, wiping imaginary tears from his screen, "So sad that you are going to the dungeon." He slid away, reaching into his dress. He pulled out a remote, with a single, red button on it. "Well, toodles!" He added, suddenly cheery.

"Wait-" Karkat began, but Mettaton pressed the button. Before Karkat could move, the floor opened up under him and he fell through with a shriek.

"Karkat!" Dave shouted. He jumped out of his seat and ran for the stage, vaulting onto it just as Mettaton descended through the hole, his rocket bursting with pink flames. Dave jumped after him, and after the blonde came a dozen camera drones.

Dave hit the ground and rolled, jumping back up. He looked around quickly and saw Karkat picking himself up, too. The two of them hand landed on a stone island, connected to a conveyor belt that hummed away from them. Mettaton moved forward, pushing Dave to the side as the cameras zoomed in on Karkat and the robot.

"Oh no! Whatever shall I do? My love has been cast away into the dungeon!" Mettaton cried dramatically, "A dungeon with a puzzle so dastardly, my paramour will surely perish!" He flung out an arm to the left, across the conveyor belt, and both boys looked over. What they saw was a grid of colored tiles. "Oh, heavens have mercy! The horrible colored tile maze! Each colored tile has its own sadistic function. For example, a green tile sounds a noise, and then you must fight a monster. Red tiles will... actually, wait a second." He broke off, waving a tisking finger, "Didn't we see this puzzle quite a while ago? You remember all the rules, don't you?"

"No-" Karkat began, but Mettaton spoke over him.

"Great, then I won't wast my time repeating them!" He hummed, before he glanced at an imaginary watch on his wrist, "Oh, and you'd better hurry." He added, "Because if you don't get through in thirty seconds," He turned and looked at the wall to the right. Karkat and Dave looked over, too, and saw part of the wall slide back, revealing a line of nozzles. With a noise like a starting engine, fire suddenly burst from the tip of each one. "You'll be incinerated by these jets of fire!" Mettaton cried, before he laughed maniacally. It quickly petered out as the cameras swung to face him, "Oh, my poor love!" He added mournfully, "I'm so filled with grief that I can't stop laughing! Good luck, darling!" He purred, before a timer suddenly dropped from the ceiling, beginning to tick down from thirty.

"Karkat! Remember! Reds are no-go, yellows are electric, greens start a fight, orange is orange, blue's got the piranhas, and if you smell like orange piranhas go for you! Yellow plus blue makes a double shock, purples are lemon soap, and the piranhas don't like that! Pinks don't do shit!" Dave shouted after the troll, who took off running, barely registering his boyfriend's words.

He ran blindly, trying to keep all the instructions in his head. He'd barely made it a fourth of the way, when the timer hit zero and went off. The tiles suddenly all went grey, the water tiles becoming covered over by steel grates.

"Oh, I'm so sorry!" Mettaton gasped, drifting towards the troll, who'd frozen in place, "Looks like you're out of time!" The wall of fire suddenly zoomed closer, as did a second one from the other side. Karkat whirled in place, his eyes wide with panic as the fire licked at the air around him, the flames mere feet from his body. "Here come the flames, darling~!" Mettaton laughed as the fires inched closer, "They're closing in!" He cried gleefully, "Getting! Closer! Oh my! Any minute now!"

Just when the flames were no more than an inch or two away, they stopped. Karkat squinted against the heat and light, folding his arms over himself in an attempt to make himself smaller. When the flames didn't collide with him, he looked up at Mettaton, who cleared his throat in confusion. At the same time, Karkat's phone trilled. He pulled it out and hit answer, feeling dizzy from the lack of oxygen in his vicinity.

"Watch out! I'll save you! I'm hacking into the firewall right now!" Alphys shouted, the sound of clacking keys sounding frantically through the speaker. And just like that, the flames vanished, the walls they'd been spewing from sliding shut. Dave, who'd remained by the wall, had been forced to lie flat on the ground to avoid being cooked. When the flames vanished, he sat up slowly, his breathing feeling funny in his chest.

"Oh no!" Mettaton wailed, "How could this happen!? Foiled again by the brilliant doctor Alphys!"

"That's right!" Alphys shouted, her voice wavering, "Come on, Mettaton, give up already! You'll never be able to beat us, not as long as we work together! Your puzzle's over! Now go home and leave us alone!"

"Puzzle? Over?" Mettaton repeated, "Alphys, darling, what are you talking about? Did you forget what the green tiles do? They make a sound, then you have to fight a monster." He looked down at Karkat, "Well, darling, that monster... is me!!" He cried, before he dropped to the ground, ripping his dress off as he went. Karkat, who'd recovered from his near death experience, jumped back as his Soul flew forward.

"Shit- Karkat-!" Dave scrambled to his feet and ran towards the two of them, but Karkat waved him back.

"Stay back! I got it!" He insisted, hitting Act. Besides Check, his only other option was Yell. That was something he could certainly do. He sucked in a deep breath, ready to give Mettaton one of his classic, rambling, venomously berating swears, but Mettaton beat him to it.

"This is it, darling! Say goodbye!" He trilled.

"H- hey!" Alphys suddenly shouted from Karkat's phone, "Th- this seems bad, but don't worry! Th- there's one last thing I installed on your phone! You see the yellow button? Hit it!" She cried. Karkat looked down at his phone screen.

Just like every time before, a new app had appeared. This one's icon was that of a yellow heart. He quickly pressed it, and looked up to see what it did. His eyes widened as his Soul began to turn, until it was upside down. A flash of golden light, and it was suddenly yellow!

"Hit the button again!" Alphys shouted. Not going to argue, Karkat did so. His Soul suddenly pointed towards Mettaton, and with the "pew pew!" sound of a child's lasergun toy, bright balls of golden light shot out of the end, striking the robot. His mouth open in shock, Karkat quickly recovered and frantically tapped the button. Mettaton writhed in what he assumed was pain.

"Ooh! Oooohh! You've defeated me!" He wailed, putting his hands up in surrender, "How can this be, you were stronger than I thought, etcetera." He waved a hand dismissively, turning away with a parting, "Whatever."

And just like that, he was gone, blasting out through the hole they'd fallen through. Karkat's Soul returned to its original color and position, before it faded. He let out a breath, looking over at Dave, who was watching him pensively. The human stepped forward, opening his mouth to speak.

"L- looks like you beat him!" Alphys said from the phone before he could utter a word, "Y- you did a really great job out there." She praised. Karkat looked down at the phone, then up at Dave, the two of them sharing a knowing look. Fake- it was all fake, an act, a play put on by the two monsters, their eyes told each other; if Mettaton's parting words hadn't been proof enough, literally everything else sure was. Alphys seemed to take their silence poorly.

"H- hey... this might sound strange, but... c- can I tell you something?" She asked hesitantly.

"What is it?" Karkat asked, his voice emotionless.

"B- before I met you two, I d- didn't really... I didn't really like myself very much. For a long time, I felt like a total screw up. L- like I couldn't do a- anything without... without ending up letting everyone down." She confessed, her voice small and shaking. Dave and Karkat once again looked at each other. Dave pressed his lips together and looked away. "B- but..." Alphys continued, "Guiding you two has made me feel a lot better about myself. So... thanks for letting me help you."

"... You're... welcome?" Karkat said at last, torn between contempt and sympathy. Alphys made a weird noise.

"A- anyway, we're almost to the Core. It's just past MTT Resort. Come on! Let's finish this!" She said, trying to sound upbeat, before she hung up. Karkat slid his phone away and looked at Dave.

"... Karkat-"

"Yeah."

"She's-"

"I know."

"But-"

"Dave, stop. I know, okay?" Karkat cut him off, turning away. Looking across the grey tiles, he saw a staircase leading up to their left. He headed for it, and Dave followed.

Inside Dave's head, thoughts were roiling, so much so he barely paid attention as they ascended the stairs. He and Karkat came to a halt at the top, though. Ahead, the ground leveled out, before it split into three directions; the left, right, and up another flight of steps directly ahead.

Standing next to the left path, the blue, Nice Cream vending rabbit had returned, the biggest grin on his face. Near the right path stood Dragon and Bunny. Karkat gave the guards a nervous look, but Dave walked up to them.

"Evenin', fellas." He greeted them, tramping down his own concerns for now.

"Oh, hey." Bunny greeted him; his gauntlets were covered in melted ice cream stains, Dave saw, "We're taking a rain check on the whole "killing you guys" thing. Like, don't tell Undyne about this, okay?"

"I'm sure she won't mind." Dave assured him. Karkat, meanwhile, had headed for the Nice Cream vendor.

"Hey! It's you two again!" The azure-furred man cried happily as Dave joined them, "Business is excellent here! These two fellas bought all my ice cream! I've actually sold out of everything! Sorry!" He apologized, a grin still on his face as he rubbed his neck, before he perked up, "Wait! I've still got something for you! A big smile! How about that?!"

Karkat made a noise in the back of his throat like he was strangling a laugh, which he managed to cover with a cough.

"It's much appreciated." Dave assured the vendor, thumping Karkat on the back. The troll nodded, clearing his throat. Stepping away, the two of them looked around. "Which way, Karks?" He asked. Karkat looked around, thinking, before he took off to the right, motioning for Dave to follow.

All they found in that direction was a dead end, an elevator- marked "**R3**"- and a familiar figure of fire.

"Hey, hey! Did you remember my name?" The tiny fire-man asked.

"Sure did, dude. You're Heats Flamesman." Dave informed him. Heats' mouth fell open, his eyes bulging.

"W- what?! You remember!? How could I be so easily defeated?!" He cried, his flames flaring for a moment, before he looked very emotional, "I'll always remember that you remembered!" He sniffled.

"You... asked us to, but okay. Glad it means so much?" Dave frowned, confused, before he and Karkat headed back to the crossroads. They headed to the left, and found a heavy door. Pushing it open and peering inside, they saw the stage Karkat had just preformed on. They quickly walked away.

Finally, they headed for the staircase across from them.

Mounting the steps, they found themselves in front of a giant, looming building. Lights poured from the windows and doors. Above a yellow-checkered awning was a giant, neon yellow sign. "**MTT**" it said in curly cursive, with winged Mettatons on either side. Fern bushes lined the double doors on either side, and a red carpet unrolled before the entrance. Lying on the ground beside the carpet, on the right, was a piece of paper. And standing to the left, his hands in his pockets and grinning expectantly, was Sans.


	42. Chapter 42

"Sans!" Dave released Karkat's hand and ran up to his friend.

"Hey. I heard you're going to the Core." Sans hummed, bumping knuckled with Dave's proffered fist.

"We are." Dave confirmed.

"How about grabbing some dinner with me, first?" Sans invited, inclining his head towards the resort's doors. Dave hesitated, glancing at Karkat, who had stooped to pick up and read the paper that was taped to the ground.

"Karkles? What do you think?" He asked. Karkat glanced up from reading the paper, then towards the alley on the right.

"Uh, yeah. Hang on." He motioned Dave closer, and showed him the paper.

"**Hey! Go up the creepy alleyway on the right for some great deals!**" It read.

"What do you think?" Karkat asked. Dave contemplated the paper, before looking towards the alley.

"We might as well. We're either going to get stabbed or get a blowjob, and at this point I could go for either." He said at last. Karkat made a noise like a choking cat.

"Did you really have to phrase it like that?" He grumbled. Dave snorted, leading the flustered troll towards the dark passage.

Past dumpsters and trashcans that reeked of wet garbage, the boys came to a stop before a hand built, rickety, wood and tin shed. A cardboard sign hung by the door read "**Catty and Bratty's House**" in pink paint. Broken lamps and rusted lanterns scattered around the dead end provided the only light to see. What they saw were a pair of monster women, sitting at a cardboard table in front of the shed. 

One was a pastel green-scaled alligator, in a pink shawl, yellow tank top, and matching skirt. She had blonde pigtails tied behind her head, and rosy lipstick painted on the front of her snout. The other was a purple-furred cat in overalls, with a tuft of black fur on top of her head that was styled in an undercut. She had large, yellow eyes, and a piercing in her left ear. Over sized fangs poked out from her top lip. They were both sat in plastic lawn chairs, and the cat had her feet propped up on the table.

"Hey, check it out!" The alligator gasped in a thick, valley girl accent; her voice was rather deep and garbled.

"Yeah! Check it out!" The cat giggled in a similar accent, her voice high and musical.

"Hiya." Dave greeted them as the options of Buy, Sell, Talk, and Exit came up, "Ya'll sell stuff?" He blinked, before he hit Talk.

"Like, totally. So what's up?" The alligator- who Dave assumed was Bratty- grinned, revealing a mouth full of jagged teeth. He looked down at his topic options:

-About you two  
-About your wares  
-About Mettaton  
-About Alphys

"Tell us about yourselves." Dave invited.

"I'm Bratty, and this is my best friend, Catty." Bratty explained.

"I'm Catty, and this is my best friend, Bratty." The cat added. They both looked at each other, before they giggled.

"Nice to meet you. I'm Dave, and this is my boyfriend, Karkat." He informed them, motioning to Karkat, who waved.

"Yeah, hi. I'm the boyfriend." He agreed. Both girls laughed again.

"Hi, boyfriend!" Catty purred.

"What kind of stuff do ya'll sell?" Dave asked.

"The stuff inside is, like..." Bratty began.

"_Totally_ wicked expensive." Catty finished.

"But, like, this stuff we found is, like..." Bratty added.

"_Totally_ wicked cheap." Catty continued.

"You should..."

"Like..."

"Totally wicked by all of it?" Both girls laughed at the same time.

"... Where did you get all of it?" Dave asked, trying to keep up with their speech pattern; their personalities made him think of Roxy, he thought, achingly reminded of his pseudo-mom.

"I mean, like, where does anyone get guns, or food, or..." Bratty said evasively.

"We found it in the garbage!" Catty exclaimed, laughing, before she froze, putting a paw in front of her mouth.

"It's good garbage." Bratty assured them quickly, giggling.

"It's like, _really_ good garbage!" Catty agreed, grinning.

"Okay, but like, where's it from?" Dave insisted, glancing at the putrid smelling garbage bins.

"Like, the garbage store! Duh!" Bratty rolled her eyes, "So, like, waterfall, mostly."

"I found a gun in the dumpster!" Catty squealed with laughter.

"A what?" Karkat looked up sharply, alarmed.

"Like, a gun!" Catty repeated.

"Okay, we'll... circle back to the firearm. Can you tell me about Mettaton?" Dave asked.

"Oh my god, Mettaton." Bratty sighed dreamily.

"Oh my _god._ _Mettaton_." Catty purred.

"He's like, my robot husband." The tip of Bratty's tongue protruded between her painted lips as her eyes became vacant and hazy.

"Actually, he's like, _my_ robot husband." Catty crooned, her whiskers twitching as a lazy smile uncurled across her muzzle.

"I think we're, like, both going to marry him." Bratty admitted, wringing her talons together.

"We're both, like, _already_ married to him! He just, like, doesn't know it yet." Catty giggled, pressing her paws to her cheeks and shaking her head excitedly.

"Do you know where he came from?" Karkat asked, "Or if he has any weaknesses or?"

"So, like, Dr. Alphys built Mettaton, right?" Bratty shrugged.

"That's, like, what they _tell_ you." Catty added.

"But like, Mettaton always acts like..." Bratty began.

"Being built was _his_ idea, somehow." Catty finished.

"And even right after he was built-" Bratty frowned.

"-He acted like Alphys was an old friend." Catty nodded.

"But they're like... not friends anymore." Bratty rolled her eyes.

"Yeah! Unlike me and Bratty! Best friends for _ever!_" Catty laughed. Dave and Karkat looked at each other. That certainly wasn't the vibe either of them had gotten about the doctor and actor.

"Okay... but Alphys-?" Dave began, uncertain what he was trying to ask. Catty and Bratty looked at each other.

"Oh my god, Alphys." Bratty shook her head.

"Oh my _god_. _Alphys_." Catty agreed.

"She used to live on our street." Bratty said, her voice suddenly dropping into a hushed volume.

"She was like our big sister." Catty admitted.

"I mean, like, if your big sister..." Bratty scoffed.

"Takes you on trips to the dump." Catty snickered.

"She showed us the coolest places to find trash." Bratty explained.

"She was always collecting these weird cartoons." Catty added.

"Then she became the Royal Scientist." Bratty continued.

"Yeah, we haven't seen her in forever." Catty frowned, sudden downcast.

"Why not?" Dave asked, concerned. Bratty took a deep breath.

"So, Alphys has always, like-" She started.

"Thought Asgore is a _super_ cutie." Catty laughed.

"So, like, I'm pretty sure she-" Bratty fidgeted with her hair.

"Made Mettaton to, like, totally impress him." Catty waved a hand dismissively.

"A robot with a Soul..." Bratty's eyes went huge.

"That's, like, super relevant to his hobbies!" Catty nodded.

"So, after seeing Mettaton, Asgore-" Bratty lead.

"Asked her to do all this science stuff for him! ... But nobody's like, seen anything from her, yet." Catty mewled, scratching idly at one of her ears.

"Or... her at all..." Bratty muttered.

""She must, like, stay in her lab all day." Catty agreed.

"Like, live a little, girl!" Bratty snorted.

"Yeah! Like us!" Catty giggled.

"He has a Soul?" Dave repeated, sharing another glance with Karkat.

"But her lab was all... abandoned." Karkat muttered, frowning. Dave's eyebrows knit together in thought, before he turned to the girls again.

"What about Asgore? How is it relevant to him?" He asked.

"Oh my god. He's a total goober." Bratty laughed.

"He's a big, fuzzy goofball!" Catty chortled.

"Like, I _love_ that guy." Bratty hummed.

""He's like, _so_ nice." Catty concurred.

"God, we're like-" Both girls began at the same time, "_So_ hyped for the destruction of humanity!" They cackled together. Dave's eyes widened, and he heard Karkat shuffle backwards slightly.

"O- oh. Um." Dave blinked, "That's... nice?" He said tepidly. Glancing down at the topic suggestions, he saw he'd exhausted them all, so he switched to the Buy menu. The girls dug under the table and set out four items:

Junk Food- 25G  
Heals 17 HP  
Has a big bite taken out of it.

Empty Gun- 350G  
Weapon: 12 ATK (-8 ATK)  
Bullets NOT included.

Cowboy Hat- 350G  
Armor: 12 DEF (-8 DEF)  
Attack up when worn. 

Mystery Key- 400G  
????  
Probably to someone's house LOL.

Dave read each tag, then looked at Karkat, who had stepped up to look, too. The troll slowly shook his head.

"We don't... need any of this." He said, although he was eyeing the key; they had just over four hundred gold, though, and neither were willing to blow it all just yet.

"We can come back for it if we do." Dave agreed. He hit Exit, and the girls waved.

"Like, see you later!" Bratty grinned.

"Like, later and stuff!" Catty dismissed them.

The boys turned and headed back to the front of the building, both lost in their own thoughts. At the sight of Sans, Dave perked up.

"Oh, yeah. You wanna go have dinner now?" He asked Karkat. Karkat nodded.

"Yeah, I guess." He shrugged. The two of them walked over to Sans, who looked up.

"Heya. How about that dinner now?" He grinned.

"Yeah man, let's do it." Dave smiled.

"Great, thanks for treating me." Sans snickered, before he turned away and began walking towards the left side of the building, where another alleyway stood. "Over here, I know a shortcut." He added. That wasn't the first time they'd heard those words, Dave thought.

Sure enough, as they turned to follow the skeleton, the two boys were wrapped in that black, misty darkness that had swallowed them once before. When it cleared, the boys were standing before a table. Looking around in alarm, Dave realized they were in some kind of restaurant, presumably in the resort. Everything around them was very... purple.

The floor was red and purple checkered, while everything from the walls to the tablecloth were violet. The tablecloth, Dave saw, resembled Mettaton's screen. Rubber ferns and billboards covered in photos and flyers lined the walls, along with creeper vines. The room was gloomily lit by crystal chandeliers above. To the far right of the room, Dave saw a pair of doors that lead out into the rest of the resort, and a group of people standing and sitting around a few tables near a stage.

On the table next to them, three chairs, plates, menus, a single candle, and three sets of utinsils were sat out, waiting for them.

"How the fuck...?" Karkat muttered.

"Well, here we are." Sans said cheerily, taking his seat. Dave and Karkat quickly took their seats, too; Dave was sat across from the skeleton, while Karkat sat to Dave's right. Every other table around them was empty, Dave noted. They'd taken one right in the middle of the room, and despite the murmur and chatter of other people near the doors, he suddenly felt very isolated, like he, Karkat, and Sans were the only people in the world. "So." Sans continued, making him turn back, "Your journey is almost over, huh?"

"Yeah, I guess." Dave nodded.

"... You must really wanna go home." Sans said, before he added quickly, "Hey, I know the feeling, buddos." He looked down at the table, then back up at the two of them, "Though... maybe it's best to take what's given to you. Down here, you've already got food, drink, friends... is what you had up there... really worth it?" He asked, carefully picking each word . Dave and Karkat looked at each other, surprised.

"... You don't get it, Sans." Karkat said quietly, "We had- have, so much back home. We can't just give it all up. We have friends- fucking, _family_\- up there. You guys are great, but... I myself am sick of fighting for every step and breath I take. Back home, we... we don't have to do that. Our fight is supposed to be over."

Sans looked away, closing his eyes for a moment. "... Ah, forget it, then." He shook his head, "I'm rootin' for ya, kids." He looked away again, putting his chin in his head, "... Hey." He said at last, looking back, "Let me tell you a story." He took a deep breath.

"So, I'm a sentry in Snowdin Forest, right? I sit out there and watch for humans. It's kind of boring. Fortunately, deep in the forest, there's this huge locked door." He smiled. Dave and Karkat glanced at one another out of the corners of their eyes. "And it's perfect for practicing knock-knock jokes." Sans continued, "So one day, I'm knocking them out, like usual. I knock on the door and say, "knock knock." And suddenly, from the other side... I hear a woman's voice."

Sans watched both Dave and Karkat's eyebrows shoot up as they looked at one another.

"Toriel." Karkat mouthed, stunned. Dave nodded, looking back at Sans.

""Who is there?" she says." Sans continued, "So, naturally, I respond: "Dishes." And she says, "Dishes who?" I tell her, "Dishes a very bad joke."" He snorted, winking, although neither Dave or Karkat felt like laughing, "Then she just howls with laughter. Like it's the best joke she's heard in a _hundred years_. So I keep 'em coming, and she keeps laughing. She's the best audience I've ever had.

Then, after a dozen of them, _she_ knocks and says, "knock knock!" I say, "Who's there?" and she replies, "Old lady!", so I ask, "Old lady who?" She's trying not to laugh as she tells me, "Oh! I did not know you could yodel!"" He shook his head, his shoulders shaking with silent laughter, "Wow. Needless to say, this woman was extremely good."

The journal, Dave suddenly remembered with a cold shock, the journal in Toriel's bedroom had been full of jokes and puns- she'd been saving them for Sans.

"We kept telling each other jokes for hours." Sans continued, seemingly oblivious to Dave's realization, "Eventually, I had to leave. Papyrus gets kind of cranky without his bedtime story." He shook his head, amused, "But she told me to come by again, and so I did. Then I did it again. And again. It's a thing now, telling bad jokes through the door. It rules." He looked away again, becoming momentarily lost in memories.

Dave and Karkat looked at one another once more, wondering where this was going. For Dave, the story was only adding to the heaping, giant pile of questions he already had.

"... One day, though." Sans said at last, his smile fading, "I noticed she wasn't laughing very much. I asked her what was up. Then she told me something strange." He looked back at them, his expression suddenly... different.

""If a human ever comes through this door, could you please, please promise something? Watch over them, protect them, will you not?"" He sat up slightly, raising his head and leaning forward; the expression on his face was not the friendly expression Dave knew and liked. "Now, I hate making promises. And this woman, I don't even know her name. But..." He closed his eyes, taking a deep breath before he opened them again, "someone who sincerely likes bad jokes... has an integrity you can't say no to." He looked down at the table, running his fingers over the tablecloth, before he looked up again.

"Do you get what I'm saying?" He asked, his voice suddenly cold and expression hard, "That promise I made to her... You know what had happened if she hadn't said anything?" Dave felt a sensation of fear and dread crawl up his back, like he'd just walked into the den of a starving wolf. Sans closed his eyes again, going still as he bowed his head. "... Buddies."

"_You'd be dead where you stand._"

Sans opened his eyes and looked up, his voice dangerous and low.

His eyesockets, which usually contained two small, sparks of light, were empty, void, and dark. This was not the friend Dave knew. This was a _monster_. For the first time, Dave saw what Sans really was- or at least, what he could be. What he saw made his heart leap into his throat and his veins run cold. This was a killer, who offered nothing in the sense of Mercy. He felt like he couldn't move, his instincts of fight or flight kicking in, only to fail and make him freeze. Karkat, too, had gone still, like a rabbit in the eye of a hawk.

Sans closed his eyes momentarily, and when he opened them, the lights were back. He looked between the two paralyzed boys. "Hey, lighten up, buckos." He winked, "I'm just joking with you. Besides... haven't I done a great job protecting you? I mean, look at yourselves. You haven't died a single time."

Just like that, whatever spell had been holding them broke, and Dave and Karkat shared a look. The crawling sensation didn't leave Dave's spine, but his heart began to tepidly beat again.

"Hey, what's that look supposed to mean?" Sans asked, "Am I wrong...?" Dave swallowed, uncertain now about what all they should tell the skeleton. "... Heh." Sans suddenly got to his feet, pushing his chair back. He began to walk away, before he paused. "Well, that's all I wanted to say. Take care of yourselves, kids. 'Cause someone really cares about you."

He turned and walked away, heading for the far side of the restaurant, which was cloaked in darkness. Dave watched him go; the moment he blinked, though, the skeleton was gone. The tension that had built up like a tidal wave suddenly broke, and Dave slumped forward, onto his his hands. Karkat let out a long breath and slouched backwards, wrapping his arms around himself.

"... Dave."

"Yeah."

"Jesus fuck."

"Yeah."

"I'm fucking- I- I thought-" Karkat's voice cracked.

"Yeah."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Catty and Bratty share one braincell and I love them. They are exhausting to write though.


	43. Chapter 43

Dave and Karkat sat at the table for a long moment, before Karkat moved to get to his feet. Dave instinctively reached out and grabbed his wrist, making him pause.

"Dave?"

"Karks, wait. We need to- sort this out, or something. We gotta talk. Please." Dave's forehead was resting in his free hand, his eyes closed. Karkat slowly sat down again.

"Okay...?" He took Dave's hand and held it, letting the blonde squeeze his fingers as he ran his thumb over the back of his hand.

"Karks, I'm-" Dave took a deep breath, grinding the heel of his palm against his forehead, gritting his teeth until his jaw ached. "I'm so fucking lost. Everyone, they all- Alphys is- Mettaton and Sans, they both-"

"One thing at a time, Dave." Karkat soothed, "Start with Alphys."

"Alphys. Alphys." Dave muttered, taking another breath, "Right. So. She's been leading us, which is great, we- we would've been lost without her help. Some of these puzzles are ridiculous. But she's also been leading us _on_. Mettaton, he- he's a fake threat. Alphys has been trying to "protect" us from nothing. Why? What's her angle? So we're in her debt? So we're grateful to her? For entertainment? Why does she put on the nervous, self doubting, self hating act?"

"... I don't think that part is an act." Karkat hummed, taking Dave's hands in both of his own and massaging his palm with his thumbs. "I've been where she is, I think what she said was actually true, which is why I'm having a hard time understanding her intentions, too. I want to sympathize with her, but.... I can't." Karkat explained, shaking his head, "But the rest aren't questions I have answers for. Look around, though; this place reeks of Mettaton. We'll probably be getting answers pretty soon." He said softly. "What about Mettaton himself?"

"Mettaton... He knows something. He knows I'm human. He knows... a lot, I think. But how? He's a robot. Or- wait, no, Bratty and Catty said he has a Soul. Robots don't have- so what is he, then? A cyborg?" He ran his hand through his hair, before letting his head fall, resting it on his arm. Karkat watched him, concerned. He put his chin in one hand, the other still holding onto Dave's.

"... What about Sans?" He asked finally. Dave made an unhappy groaning noise in his throat.

"Sans." He muttered miserably, shaking his head. He sat up, opening his eyes and looking at where the skeleton had been sitting earlier. "... I thought..." A pained look crossed his features and he let out a frustrated growl, "Fuck, man, I don't even know anymore. It feels like he flipped the script on us. Everyone we've befriended, we had to fight first. Sans was our buddy right out the gate, so then... does that mean we're going to have to fight him? And, what you said earlier- he might not even be part of this world. If he isn't, why is here? What does he want? Why is he so interested in us? Is Papyrus- not from here, either? He doesn't act like it. He's never given any sign that he, like... knows this is a game. So if he belongs here, but Sans doesn't, but they're brothers- ugh. Fuck."

Karkat listened patiently, before looking around the restaurant, thinking.

"Okay, bear with me here, but what if he's... like us?" He said at last. Dave glanced up at him.

"What?"

Karkat shrugged, scratching his nose, "It's something that occurred to me earlier. He... kind of reminds me of the cherubs. Like Calliope. What if he's something like her? Or even... kind of like Caliborn. Lord English. Whatever. He might be the..." He hesitated, trying to choose the correct way to word his thoughts, "the _big bad_, you know? The final boss, of sorts. He's something that present forever, but only, like, shows his power in the timelines we fuck up in.

We got here, and Toriel taught us how to end fights without actually fighting. But what if she hadn't?" Karkat leaned forward slightly, "What if she hadn't found us, and we'd gone through this place the way we had with SGRUB, killing anything in our way to get rewards and advance? For this place, that could be their version of a bad timeline. Everything has been going in our favor, at some point or another, because we haven't hurt anyone. For all we know, Sans has been the one pulling the strings on all of that. The cherubs asserted themselves into our game, who's to say Sans didn't do the exact same thing here?"

Dave stared at him, his jaw falling open. "How long have you been thinking about this?"

"A while. Since we tried talking to the riverman." Karkat admitted. Dave winced as a memory struck him.

"Oh, yeah! The riverman said something about this shit, too. When we were walking away, they said, "Humans, monsters, flowers, trolls.""

Karkat's eyes widened. "Wait- then- do they know something, too?" He stammered, stunned.

"If they do, they're not giving up the answers easily." Dave scowled, "They must know something about Flowey, too. Maybe."

"Oh, yeah. Flowey." Karkat looked down at the table. "... He's been following us. I'm pretty sure he's the one that brought us here." Dave frowned at him.

"How do you figure that?"

"... Remember when we went through the gear you made?"

"Yeah?"

"We didn't fall through it. We were pulled. I tried to pull my hand out, but something grabbed me. It wrapped around my wrist and pulled us through." Karkat explained quietly. Dave stared at him.

"But... why would Flowey want to bring us here?" He asked.

"I don't know, Dave." Karkat sighed, "Why would he insist that I'm the human of the two of us? And why does everyone else seem to think that, too? You said that Sans said no one else had seen humans before, but they obviously must have. They have human literature and anime and-"

"Yeah, I know. Something doesn't add up at all." Dave huffed and sat back, running his hands through his hair, "But we're not going to get answers just sitting here. We're trying to put two and two together, but we're coming out with three 'cause we don't have the rest of the numbers."

"So what do you suggest we do?" Karkat asked.

"This place is Mettaton's resort, right? This is as good a place as any to try and get answers." Dave shrugged, crossing his arms, "Let's go snoop and see what we can find." He suggested. Karkat hesitated, but nodded.

"Fine." He agreed.

Together, the two of them got to their feet. They pushed in their chairs, and Karkat motioned for Dave to take the lead. Taking Karkat's hand, Dave looked around, before he headed for the back of the restaurant, where Sans had vanished.

The only thing back there was more rubber plants, and a single, orange-skinned monster with a bulbous head. No door, no window, nothing. A TV on the right wall was playing a replay of Mettaton's news report. Dave glanced around, then headed for the monster.

"Hey." He greeted them.

"As I came in, I realized I'd forgotten to make a reservation." The big-headed creature whispered, "But I didn't want to look like I'd messed up, so I kept walking in anyway. Now I'm just... kinda... consuming dew off this ficus." He admitted. Dave pursed his lips.

"Well, wait long enough, and just walk back out." He advised. They turned away and started heading for the entrance, when they passed one of the billboards. Karkat stopped, making Dave stop, too, as they looked at the board to read. Above the billboard, a banner declared it a "**Wall of Fame**". Dave glanced at the papers that were thumb-tacked to it:

**"The food is to die for!"**

**"Gorgeous style and fragrance!"**

**"My face tastes beautiful!"**

Were just some of the quotes scribbled on them. All of them were signed with "**-MTT**". All the photos, too, were of Mettaton, either laying on the tables, taking selfies with other customers, or posing dramatically on the stage.

Moving on, they came across a second board. This one had more photos, but it also had a list of house specials, and a schedule for performances. Dave was shocked to see Sans' name among some of the scheduled comedians.

"Sans does stand up?" Karkat asked, looking at the schedule, too.

"I guess." Dave said, his voice more bitter than he meant to let it be. He turned away and looked around. Before them was a small stage, and the end of the arranged tables. Sitting on the edge of the stage was an elderly Snowdrake in a bright pink bowtie, who was cleaning and adjusting his spectacles. Sitting at one of the tables was a pair of monsters; one of them was a hulking, red, devil-horned, beastly man, dressed in a tank top and cargo pants, who was much too big for his seat. The other was a tiny, mole-like creature in a hardhat.

Beyond them, in a foyer, was the front counter, manned by a ginormous fish-man in a booth. And beyond him, were the doors that lead out to the rest of the resort. Dave turned and headed for the Snowdrake.

"Hello, sir." He said, tipping an imaginary hat.

"Hello. I'm the resort comedian. I'm very funny. People laugh at my jokes." The old bird trilled. He shifted his weight, sighing. "Now, my son. He wants to be a comedian like his fathah. But his jokes. Aren't funny. He tells this awful puns. He's an embarrassment to our family. Hahahaha... that's not funny."

"No, it's really fucking not." Karkat snapped. Snowdrake shook his head.

"Since his mothah passed on, he couldn't stand. Living at home anymore. So he ran away. I haven't seen him since. I'm a terrible fathah. Hahahaha... that's not funny." He crooned. Dave and Karkat glanced at one another. Dave felt a heated weight coil in his gut.

"Maybe if you actually supported him, and didn't call him an embarrassment, and, I dunno, offered to help him, he might come back." He suggested, his voice a little too harsh, "I think we met your kid." He continued, making Snowdrake look up, "Yeah, he told puns. But his face lit up when we laughed. Puns are a valid form of comedy, and at least the kid takes an interest in your job. Give him a chance before he resents you forever." He turned on his heel and walked away, dragging Karkat with him. The troll stared up at his boyfriend, shocked.

"Where the fuck did that come from?" He hissed. Dave made a noise in his throat.

"You know damn well where that came from, Karkat." He snapped, before he came to a halt. He sighed, rubbing his face, "Sorry, sorry. You didn't- didn't deserve that. Sorry. I'm just. Still fucked up about Sans and shit. I'm on edge."

"Clearly." Karkat squeezed his fingers gently, grimacing sympathetically, "Take a deep breath, dude. I'll do the talking and whatever, okay? Do you want to step outside?" Dave inhaled shakily, shaking his head.

"No, I'll- I'll be fine. You take the lead." He muttered. Karkat nodded and turned, heading for the two monsters sitting at the table.

"Greetings." He said as they walked up. The devil-looking monster sighed.

"Originally, we dug mazes with puzzles in order to foil human attacks. But now, building things winding and confusing... it's some awful tradition. You can't go- ugh- two feet without being up to your armpits in puzzles." He explained, scratching himself under his aforementioned armpit.

"I know the feeling, I'm sick of them, too." Karkat muttered sympathetically, before he turned to the mole creature.

"I work at the Core. The inside is a maze made of swappable parts. That means we can shuffle the layout at will. Boy, was today a fun day! I sure love puzzle!" It jabbered happily.

"That makes one of us." The devil and Karkat said at the same time. They looked at each other, surprised, before they laughed. Turning away, Karkat lead the sulking Strider towards the front of the restaruant, and up to the giant fish monster.

"Blub blub... You'll have to reserve a table to eat here." It said without waiting for them to speak, its voice garbled and thick, "You'll also need to reserve your chair, your silverware, your food, your... everything."

"Yeah, thanks, we'll keep that in mind." Karkat told it as they walked by. He pushed open the doors to the rest of the resort.

The two of them stepped into a brightly lit lobby that was filled with cheery music and the strong smell of air freshener. Pink and yellow tiles covered the floor, while one humongous, crystal chandelier hung above. Right in front of them was a giant fountain, with a statue of a posing Mettaton placed on top. Water was spewing out of the statue's mouth, and right onto the floor, missing the fountain's basin completely. To their right were the main doors, from which a red carpet unrolled, split around the fountain, and ran right to a backdoor on the left. At the side of the fountain was a Save Point, which Karkat lead Dave over to as he continued to look around. As he activated the Save, he saw an inscription around the side of the fountain:

"**Royal Memorial Fountain, built 201X. Mettaton added last week.**"

"That seems... like a poor choice of an addition." Karkat frowned as he glanced around.

Near them, standing by the door, was a tiny, star-shaped monster. They looked like they were made out of origami, Karkat thought. He walked over to them, and the little paper creature looked up.

"Welcome to MTT Resort." They squeaked, "Hotland's biggest apartment-building-turned-hotel! Whether you're here for a night or still live here, MTT Resort prides itself on a great stay!"

"Uh, thanks, but we're just passing through." Karkat told them.

"Nice! MTT Resort prides itself on being passed through!" The little creature trilled, untroubled. Karkat nodded, turning and walking around the side of the fountain with Dave in tow.

To the right of them was a hallway. In front of them, however, was a cluster of three monsters, standing in front of an elevator. To the left of the elevator was a pair of double doors, with a sign overhead that had the letters "MTT" next to an insignia of a burger. To the far left was a check in counter, with another monster behind the counter. That monster was a blue scaled creature with a hand for a head- complete with painted, red nails. Perturbed, Karkat headed for the trio of monsters, first.

The nearest one was a large, white, feline monster, who stood on all fours, her front paws tucked into bright red high heels. A brief case sat next to her back legs. Her black, lion-esque mane was pulled back, and brushed into a pair of pigtails, while a pair of large, oval glasses sat on her snout. Karkat walked up to her.

"This elevator goes straight to the capital, but it stopped working." She said, her giant teeth gnashing, "The hotel's doing its best to accommodate everybody stuck here." She explained, nodding to her companions.

The next monster was a squat, fat, green scaled dragon, who had a cellphone pressed against his ear slit. Karkat didn't approach him, seeing as he was on the phone, but he overheard part of the reptile's conversation.

"Yeah, I'm not going to be home tonight... um... I think there's some cold pizza in my treasure horde you can heat up." He was saying as Karkat passed him, heading for the final monster.

The third monster was a column of black, thick, almost tar-like slime, with a single, giant eye at the top, and a red bowtie plastered to its middle.

"As a slime, I'm outraged." It gurgled, more slime bubbling out of a cavity that Karkat assumed- or at least hoped- was its mouth.

Karkat nodded, glancing towards the front desk. After a moment's thought, he headed for it, Dave trudging silently after him. Karkat glanced back at his boyfriend; Dave looked downright miserable. His hands shoved into his pockets and head down, the Strider looked like someone had just told him his dog had died. Karkat's heart squeezed with sympathy; he knew the feeling of having a trusted friend turn on you. Dave seemed to sense his gaze and looked up, and Karkat gave him a gentle smile. Dave gave him a halfhearted grimace and looked away again. Walking up to the counter, the fist-creature spoke before he could.

"Yes, we know. The elevator to the city is not working. Because of this incident, rooms are running at a special rate! Two hundred gold a room. Interested?" She- it definitely had a woman's voice, although Karkat couldn't see any orifice that would produce words- offered. Karkat scrunched up his face in thought, then shook his head.

"Maybe later."

"Do let us know if you change your mind." She hummed, "Have a sparkular day."

"A what? Uh, you, too?" Karkat tried not to look confused as he turned away. He paused by the fountain, looking around. "Burger place or hallway?" He asked Dave, who raised his head to glance around momentarily.

"Hallway." He muttered. Karkat nodded, squeezed Dave's fingers gently, and headed for the hall.

As they moved into the corridor, Karkat was surprised to see how short it was; there were only four doors before it came to an end. Standing at the end was a creature dressed in a janitorial uniform. The creature was dripping a bright green, thick mucus, which he busily mopped up, only to turn and mop up the goop that had dripped off his back. Not wanting to disturb his busy work, Karkat headed for the first door and knocked.

"What are you doing?" Dave asked softly.

"Maybe the residents can tell us about Mettaton." Karkat explained.

"Oooooaaaahh! Room service!" A gleeful, loud voice suddenly cried from the other side of the door, "Got my Sea Tea?" It asked. Karkat hesitated; they certainly had a Sea Tea in their inventory. It couldn't hurt to give it up, he decided.

"Yes, we do." He answered, pulling out his phone. He opened the inventory and pulled out the Sea Tea, which materialized as a porcelain mug, filled with hot tea. Spotting a doggy door at the base of the door, he pushed it open and set the tea on the other side.

"Huh?! That's just the way I want! Here's a tip!" A gnarled, black-scaled hand reached through the flap, holding out a bag of gold. Surprised, Karkat took it, and saw ninety-nine gold add to their pockets.

"Holy shit, thanks. Can I ask you-" He started, but the doggy door slammed shut and locked. "O... kay. Nevermind, I guess." He frowned, turning and heading for the next door. He knocked, but no one answered.

"Must be empty." Dave muttered. Karkat nodded and moved to the next one.

"Aha! Room service! Got my Cinnamon Bun?" A voice called. Karkat's shoulders slumped. They did not have a Cinnamon Bun.

"No, sorry. Someone should be by with it soon." He called through the door. He heard a muted grumble, then nothing. Finally, he turned to the last door and knocked. There was a shuffling noise, but no one answered. Frowning, he knocked again, but again, whatever was on the other side ignored him. He turned away and began lead Dave away.

Back out in the lobby, the only other place they hadn't gone was the place with a burger sign. Karkat headed for it and pushed open the doors.

The two boys stepped into a small restaurant, which reeked of grease and cooking meat. It could barely be called a restaurant, actually. All there was, was a counter in front of them, with a monster behind it. The monster was a brown-furred cat, wearing a red turtleneck and a hat shaped like a cup. Behind him stretched the kitchen, while above him hung a menu sign.

"Welcome to MTT-Brand Burger Emporium, home of the Glamburger. Sparkle up your day!" The cat man said in a faux cheery voice. Karkat knew the "_I'm using this voice because I have to, not because I like you_" tone in his voice anywhere. As the option box came up, he hit Talk. "I'm sorry, it's against the rules to talk to customers who haven't bought anything." The cat said. Surprised, Karkat switched to Buy. The menu above suddenly lit up, and he looked up at it to read:

Starfait- 60G  
Heals 14 HP  
Very popular food.

Glamburger- 120G  
Heals 27 HP  
Very popular food.

Legendary Hero- 300G  
Heals 40 HP  
Hero sandwich.  
ATK up in battle.

Steak in the Shape of Mettaton's Face- 500G  
Heals 60 HP  
Don't ask.  
Please.

After a moment of contemplation, Karkat bought a Starfait. The cat turned around and pulled a parfait out of a freezer behind him and set it on the counter. The plastic cup was filled with various colored yogurts in a swirl, layered with blueberries and nuts. Cool whip covered the top, with a honey dew slice cut into a star squished on top.

"Thanksy! Have a fabu-ful day!" The cat said cheerfully, though the smile did not reach his eyes. His eyes pleaded for death. Karkat counted out sixty gold and handed it over as the treat vanished into his inventory. Pleased, he switched back to Talk, and the cat's smile became a bared-teeth grimace. "Why do you keep trying to talk to me? I'll get in trouble if I get chummy with the customers." He hissed through clenched teeth. Karkat drew back, surprised, and the cat flinched. "... Sorry." He looked at the floor, shifting anxiously. Karkat just waited, and the cat finally sighed and looked up. "So, I always wanted to be an actor." He said, a little more intensely than he probably meant to. At his words, the topic options appeared:

-Life advice  
-Romance advice  
-Mettaton  
-Your future

"... You have any life advice?" Karkat asked, concerned. The cat laughed humorlessly, pulling a blunt out from his sweater pocket and sparking up. He pulled a drag of it, then sighed.

"I'm getting on in years, so let me give you some advice, little buddy." He suddenly whipped the blunt out of his mouth. Clenching it between his fingers, he slammed his paws on the counter and leaned forward, his face mere inches from Karkat's, who froze, "You've still got time. Don't live like me. I'm nineteen years old and I've already wasted my entire life." He whispered frantically, a wild look in his eyes. Karkat felt Dave pull him back a few steps. The cat, seeming to realize he'd frightened them, backed up.

"Um... okay. I'll... take that under advisement." Karkat told him shakily, before glancing at the list again. "Do you... have romance advice?" The cat snorted, taking another drag of his blunt.

"Listen, I like you, little buddy. So I'm gonna save you a lot of trouble." He let out a smoky breath, before his pupils shrank to slivers and he looked about ready to cry, "Never interact with attractive people. Unless you're "one of them", they're just going to take advantage of you." He suddenly slammed his fist on the counter and leaned forward again, "Like that time those two chicks asked me to sneak them some glamburgers. And I, naive teenager I was, said yes to them." He backed down, burying his face in his arms as he slumped to his knees. "Bad idea." He mumbled into his arms.

"... What happened?" Karkat asked, curiosity getting the better of him.

"So I go out to the alley to see these two ladies, and uh... you know, see what'd happen next." The cat explained, sitting up slightly to take another drag. At that, Dave snorted.

"To get a blowjob or get stabbed, right?" He muttered. The cat nodded like he'd just said the wisest words ever.

"Right." He sighed, shaking his head, "But then my boss, uh, saw me and asked what I was doing. I was so startled, the hamburgers in my pockets tumbled out onto the ground. Not wanting to lose face, I scrambled to pick them up! But, as I was leaning over, the weight of the remaining hamburgers..." He leaned his forehead into his hands, hiccuping like he was fighting back sobs, "cause my pants to fall down. Then- the girls laughed at me. Everyone calls me Burgerpants now."

"I'm... very sorry." Karkat said earnestly. Eager to change topics before the cat burst into tears, he continued, "What can you tell us about Mettaton?" Burgerpants snorted.

"When I first came to Hotland, it was my dream to work with Mettaton." He took a deep drag, before he laughed harshly, "Be careful what you wish for, little buddy!"

"What do you mean? Is he bad?" Karkat pressed. Burgerpants laughed again.

"God, have you even looked around? This place is a _labyrinth_ of bad choices. And every time we try to change something for the better, he vetoes it and says, "that's not how they do it on the surface."" Burgerpants threw his hands into the air in disbelief, "Oh! _Right!_ Humans are _always_ eating hamburgers made from sequins and glue." He cried.

"... What else?" Karkat asked, sensing this was a rant that very much needed to happen for the poor cat.

"Why do people find him so attractive? He's literally just a freaking rectangle." He hissed. He raised his blunt to his lips, before he lowered it again without taking a drag, looking down at the counter. "... You know, one time, I bought one of those, uh, kits online, to... uh, make yourself more rectangular." He huffed, "They don't work."

"What about your future?" Karkat asked at last.

"Future? _What_ future? Nothing down here _ever_ changes! I'll probably be trapped at this stupid job forever." Burgerpants snapped, his claws digging into the plastic counter until they punctured it. He suddenly stopped and took a deep breath, "There is one thing that keeps me going!" He continued in a painfully optimistic voice, "If Asgore gets just one more Soul, we'll finally get to go to the surface! It'll be a brand new world! There's gotta be a second chance out there for me! For everyone!" He insisted, before he finally took another drag, "So stay strong, little buddy. When I make it big, I'll keep you in mind." He sighed.

Karkat nodded; sensing they were dismissed, he said goodbye.

"See ya around, little buddy." Burgerpants waved as they ducked back out into the lobby.

Taking a deep breath, Karkat looked around, before he turned to look at the door that lead out the back. Dave stopped beside him and looked at it, too.

"... Mettaton's out there, isn't he? This is the end of the line with him." Karkat said quietly. Dave only nodded. The Strider suddenly stood up straight and pulled his hands out of his pockets, tipping his head to the side until his neck popped.

"Let's go kick his ass." He said firmly, his expression suddenly clear and determined.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yaaaaay Dave got his turn to have a mental breakdown! This got very long, my bad.


	44. Chapter 44

Dave started for the back doors of the resort, but Karkat grabbed his hand before he could.

"Wait. I want to go talk to Catty and Bratty again, first." He said, tapping the bulge in his pocket where his phone sat, "We still have room for another item, and I'm not blowing all our gold on the expensive crap in there." He jerked his head towards the burger joint. Dave hesitated, reluctant; he felt ready to fight _now_, he didn't want to have to wait. But he gave in and nodded; they may need every item they can carry to beat Mettaton. This wasn't going to be like before, and they both knew it. He let Karkat lead him back to the entrance, then out and around the side of the building.

"Hey! Welcome back!" Bratty greeted them.

"Yeah! Welcome back!" Catty purred.

"Hi." Karkat returned the greeting distractedly as the option box came up. He pressed Buy, and the girls motioned to the items still set out on their cardboard table. As Karkat pondered over the items, Dave looked up at the girls.

"So, Burgerpants, huh?" He asked. Bratty made a face.

"Oh, that guy from the store? Yuck, what a creep." She hissed. Catty put a paw over her mouth, nodding.

"Yeah! He's a creep!" She hesitated, before she added, "But he's kind of cute, too..."

Bratty rolled her eyes. "C'mon, Catty, don't you have _any_ standards?" She asked. Catty giggled.

"Nope!"

"What's so bad about Burgerpants?" Karkat asked, looking up from the items.

"Okay, like, the annoying thing is-" Bratty began.

"- he'd be okay if he just treated us with some respect." Catty finished.

"But he just acts... really weird." Bratty explained, knitting her claws together.

"And then acts like it's _our_ fault he acts that way!" Catty added indignantly.

"Like, when we asked him to get those Glamburgers..." Bratty rolled her eyes.

"He dropped them and ran away before we could even say anything!" Catty agreed.

"We were, like, totally going to share them." Bratty explained flippantly.

"Really? I wasn't." Catty said, surprised. The girls looked at each other, before they burst out laughing.

"Catty! You're so _bad!_" Bratty giggled. Dave snorted, before Karkat pointed at the Junk Food.

"We'll take this, please." He said, making both girls stop laughing.

"Oh, like, totally! Take it!" Bratty grinned. Karkat pulled out twenty-five gold and forked it over, before taking the Junk Food. Unwrapping it slightly, he saw it was a funnel cake with a bite taken out of it. Grimacing, the troll wrapped it back up and let it vanish into their inventory.

Their purchase complete, the four of them said their goodbyes, before the boys turned and headed back into the resort. Karkat Saved once more, before he looked up at Dave, extending his hand towards him.

"Ready?"

Dave looked down at his hand, before a smirk flickered across his lips. He grabbed Karkat's hand firmly, nodding.

"Ready."

They walked around the fountain and headed for the back doors. Above said doors, a giant, red and green sign blinked with the word, "**CORE**".

The two of them didn't hesitate, pushing the doors open together and stepping out into the cool night air. They walked out onto a wooden back porch, lined with lanterns and rosebushes. The lantern's light only extended as far as the end of the porch however; the rest of the pathway was illuminated by a blueish, electric light from a dark building up ahead. Pink and red pulsing lines crawled out from the doorway, like the lines in a computer's system. All kinds of blinking lights were scattered around the wall.

Standing in the doorway were a pair of figures. Dave and Karkat both paused, and as they watched, the figures backed away, into the doorway, and vanished. Both of them flinched as Karkat's phone went off. The troll pulled it out and thumbed the answer button.

"Who were they?" Alphys asked through the speaker, "N- nobody else is s- supposed to be here... Oh well! We can't worry about that now!" She added quickly, before she hung up.

"Oh, that's _very_ reassuring." Karkat muttered. Dave felt inclined to agree as Karkat stuffed the phone away and marched forward.

Stepping through the doorway, Dave and Karkat were swallowed in a world of _blue_. The floors, the walls, even the ceiling- everything was washed in azure hues, and absolutely covered in blinking, pulsing lights, grids, button boards, and more. Directly in front of them stood an elevator, while the hall they'd stepped into branched off into two doorways on either side. As they stopped to look around, Karkat's phone trilled.

"Ready!? This is it! Take the elevator up to the top of the Core!" Alphys shouted when he answered, sounding excited. Both boys stepped forward, and Dave pressed the button. There was a whirring noise, before a click, then- silence.

"Uh... I think it's broken, doc." Dave told the phone.

"What? The elevator should be working..." They heard keys clacking on a keyboard, before Alphys made a disgruntled noise. "W- well, then! Go to the right and keep heading up!" She suggested. Sharing a glance, the boys turned towards the right doorway.

Ducking through it, they saw the pathway came to an abrupt end, onto a balcony. Below them were what looked like dozens of exhaust pipes and engines that chugged loudly; fire belched from openings on the top, the whole room filled with smoke that was filtering through vents in the walls.

"Alright! Now just keep heading up!" Alphys called.

"We can't. There's just a fiery pit." Karkat explained.

"What?" They heard more keys being hit, "That pit... isn't on my map." Alphys said slowly, sounding confused, "Uh... F- forget it! Let's just try the left side!" She decided. Eager to get out of the loud, smoky room, the boys quickly turned and left, crossed the hall, and headed for the left corridor. "Okay, you should be able to make it through here..." Alphys said thoughtfully as the boys looked around.

Suddenly, the door on the other end of the corridor burst open, and two figures marched through it. "W- watch out!" Alphys shouted as they rushed towards Karkat.

Karkat had enough time to shove his phone into Dave's hand, before he leaped forward for the fight, his Soul bursting from his chest. The first figure stepped up to face him.

The monster's face was mostly obscured by a large witch hat, leaving only a beak full of large teeth uncovered. The monster- who's name was Madjick, Karkat saw as he selected Act- had no discernible limbs. Still, thick, black, cowboy boots showed below a long, black overcoat. On either side of Madjick's head were a pair of black and white orbs that were surrounded in iridescent cloaks of light. Karkat hit Check:

_Madjick- 8 ATK -1 DEF_   
_This magical mercenary only says magic words._

"Tinkle tinkle hoy!" Madjick cried in a giggly voice, before one of the orbs lit up. It flew towards Karkat, spitting what looked like crosses made of light behind it. Karkat skidded to the side and ducked away as it attempted to follow him. The orb eventually retreated, back to its place beside Madjick, as the magician muttered in what sounded like arcane swears.

Karkat checked Act again; his only options were Talk, Stare, and Clear Mind. After a moment's thought, he clicked Stare, and found his gaze drawn to the left orb. He stared at it, unblinking, for several seconds.

"Hocus pocus!" Madjick said indignantly. The left orb suddenly split into three, and the trio of balls flew at Karkat, who turned and ran. They gave chase, and he managed to avoid them by throwing himself to the ground. Glancing up, he saw them zoom over his head before they vanished. Rolling over and getting up, Karkat saw the three had become one again, and had returned to its post by Madjick's head. Its light was gone, he noted.

Staying at his distance, Karkat selected Stare again; this time, his eye was drawn to the right orb, which he gazed at intensely.

"Please and thank you!" Madjick fumed, displeased about his orbs being weakened. The second orb suddenly split into _four_ orbs, which flew to the ceiling and began spitting more of the crosses at Karkat. Leaping back, the crosses struck the ground where he'd just been, and exploded in bursts of light. The orbs suddenly rejoined next to Madjick; its light, too, was now gone, and Karkat saw the mercenary's name was in yellow. He hit Spare.

Muttering, Madjick retreated, dropping sixty gold as he went. The second figure, Karkat saw, had vanished, too. He scooped up the gold with a sigh.

"Th- that was close... Wh- why are there so many monsters here? I mean, it's not a problem, r- r- right? W- we've just got to keep heading forward!" Alphys said through the phone Dave was still holding. Karkat didn't answer, turning around to squint at the phone. After a moment, Dave heard Alphys hang up. He walked over to Karkat and passed him the phone.

"You okay?" The Strider asked. Karkat nodded.

"Yeah; it's been a fucking minute since the last Fight like that, is all." The troll shrugged him off, turning and headed for the doorway.

Dave followed, noting several thick, metal pillars that lined the walk, with bright, pulsing, vein-like lights crawling upwards on them- they seemed to beeping faintly. Above the doorway, he saw, was a large insignia of some kind, that vaguely reminded him of the Delta Rune the old turtle had spoken of.

Through the door, they found the hall suddenly turned to the right. Rounding the corner, they came upon another one of those blue force fields. On the wall was a red switch, below rows of what looked like vials, full of glowing liquids. Disconcertingly, Dave saw parts of the wall were stripped away, to reveal bare wires and pipes. Beyond the blue wall of energy were more of the laser drones, which were currently turned off; they hovered idly over a glass walkway. As they neared the force field, Karkat's phone rang once more.

"Yeah?" He asked when he answered.

"Looks like you can't proceed until you hit the switch." Alphys explained, "B- but those lasers will activate when you do. Umm... okay, looks like they'll come in this order: Orange, orange, blue. G- got it? Move until the third one!" She ordered, before she hung up.

"I wish she'd just stay on the line while we go through all this bullshit." Karkat muttered sourly as he stomped over to the switch and pressed it. Instantly, the force field vanished, and the lasers came on. Except they were _not_ orange, orange, and blue- they were blue, blue, and orange. Karkat and Dave had just enough time to register that and freeze, before the first lasers swept over them. They both quickly stepped into the third laser and let it wash over them, before the drones turned the corner and vanished.

Sharing an exasperated, but relieved look, Dave took Karkat's hand and they carried on, over the glass bridge. Looking down, Dave saw even more wires, cords, and blinking lights. As they reached the other side, Karkat's phone went off.

"Oh my god, are you hurt? I... I'm so sorry, I- I gave you the wrong order." Alphys whimpered, before she took a deep breath and cleared her throat, "E- everything's going to be fine, okay? L- let's just keep heading forward." She said, trying to sound positive, before she hung up. Dave and Karkat silently carried on.

Past the bridge, the hall suddenly split; forward and to the left. Karkat's phone trilled.

"A crossroads? Uh..." They heard papers ruffling, "T- try heading straight!" Alphys suggested, although she sounded doubtful. Dave and Karkat started forward, before the doctor cried urgently, "W- wait! I think you should head to the left!"

"Which is it?" Karkat snapped at her, but she'd hung up. Taking a deep, deep breath, the troll pinched the bridge of his nose and muttered some very colorful words under his breath.

"Should we keep going straight?" Dave asked. Karkat growled at him.

"I don't fucking know. We don't know our way around, and clearly she fucking doesn't either. This is the blind leading the fucking blinder. She's going to guide us right off a fucking cliff." He hissed, before he turned on his heel and headed for the left fork.

Bemused, Dave followed. They stepped into a large, metal room, where a pair of monsters stood, waiting. "Oh for fuck's fucking sake!" Karkat shouted, his voice echoing off the walls as one of the figures marched forward. Karkat snarled, his Soul flying out of his chest as he stepped forward. The second figure was Madjick, Dave noted, but the magician vanished into thin air as the fight began.

The monster that faced them was absolutely huge, nearing eight feet by Dave's guess; she looked like a solider in armor, except her face was on her "torso". Her face was dragonic, with scaled cheeks and a forked tongue poking out of a dagger-filled mouth. Upon her tongue, Dave saw, was a third eye. Her other two eyes were huge, and black, set where the pectorals would be on a breast plate. The "helmet", Dave noted, was actually a set of bull-like horns. Her arms and legs were covered in a thick, scaled, violet plating that matched her face scales. Gripped in her right hand was a staff of some kind.

Karkat reached out and hit Check:

_Knight Knight- 8 ATK 2 DEF_   
_This megaton mercenary wields the Good Morningstar._

"Close your eyes." Knight Knight's voice was almost subsonic- terrifyingly deep, the sound vibrating up the back of Dave's neck. With a sound like a clap of thunder, a shining, crescent moon appeared above their heads. It glowed brightly for a moment, before a hailstorm of tiny meteors appeared, raining down on Karkat, who'd frozen in shock. He snapped out of it and jumped to the side, but not before several of the burning stone struck him in the shoulders, back, and chest.

With a bellow of pain, Karkat rolled away, his HP dropping by _half_.

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck-" Karkat groaned, grabbing at his smoldering armor and sweater. His eyes watering, he blinked frantically as he hit Act again; his options this time were Sing, or Talk. He stared at them, before he looked up at Knight Knight. Hesitantly, he pressed Sing. Knight Knight stared at him with rapt attention as he took a deep breath and began to do just that; he sang.

Conjuring up lyrics from a lullaby he'd heard long, long ago, he found himself switching to his native Alternian tongue. Neither Knight Knight or Dave understood what he was singing, but his tone was enough; just like sandpaper scraping a piece of wood until it was smooth, sweeps of shouting at the top of his lungs had given the mutantblood quite the melodic vocal cords. Even Dave was enraptured by his voice. Knight Knight's giant eyes began to droop tiredly as he finished the first chorus.

"... Goodbye." She rumbled, before the head of her staff lit up. Dozens of glowing mimics of her staff suddenly appeared in the air and rushed the troll. Karkat grunted, surprised, and leaped away, only to shriek as one of the spearheads sheared by his arm, slicing through cloth and flesh alike. He grabbed the wound and fell to his knees as his blood burst from between his fingers; his HP fell to 6.

"Fuck-" He gasped, desperately fumbling for his Items. Grabbing the Crab Apple out of the inventory, he ripped a giant bite out of it. Juice burst in his mouth and he gulped it down greedily, relieved to see his HP max back out. His wounds vanished as he tossed the core away and got to his feet.

"Close your eyes." Knight Knight ordered again, before the moon and meteors appeared once more. Knowing what to expect, Karkat flung himself backwards to avoid the storm. He quickly reached out and hit Sing, before he launched into the second verse of the song from before, trying to keep his breathing steady as adrenaline roared through him.

Knight Knight's eyes closed for a long moment as she listened, but she forced them open again.

"Goodbye." She murmured, before her staff flashed. Expecting the spears, Karkat let them lock on him before he threw himself to the side; the spears struck where he'd been standing. Taking a breath, he hit Sing for a third time, and sang the final refrain. This time, Knight Knight's eyes closed, and did not open again. A soft, deep rumbling snore began. Karkat didn't stop singing, though, restarting from the beginning of the song as he saw her name turn yellow. He only stopped when he hit Spare.

Knight Knight slumped over, asleep on the floor, seventy gold falling out of her pockets. Karkat's Soul faded and he scooped up the gold.

"Where the hell did you learn to sing like that?" Dave whispered, awed; he'd never heard Karkat's voice sound so... beautiful before. Karkat's voice had always been fascinating to him- it caught his attention and held it immediately when the loudmouth opened his noise hole- but he'd never heard what the troll had just produced from his throat.

"Oh, uh." Karkat blinked, surprised, before he laughed awkwardly, his face turning red, "I've... always sang like that, I guess? I-" He jumped as his phone went off. Grateful for the distraction, he pulled it out.

"Sorry, I... I... I thought that..." Alphys gasped, sounding both shocked and upset. She swallowed heavily, "L- let's try the right path instead." She managed to say, before hanging up. Karkat turned away from the snoring soldier and lead Dave back out of the room.

"Speaking of music- where did you learn to ballroom dance?" Dave continued as they turned to the right and carried on, recalling the dance Karkat had done with Mettaton. Karkat shrugged.

"Kanaya and Rose taught me before their wedding. I danced with you then, remember?"

"Yes, but I recall you stepping on my dress shoes about six times. What you did with Mettaton was a... lot more fluid that that." Dave pointed out. Karkat's face got redder.

"I didn't stop practicing after the wedding," He admitted, "I liked learning how to dance, and I felt bad for stomping on your feet so much, so- Kanaya and I practice about twice a week." Dave's eyebrows shot up.

"Karks, dude-"

"Oh, please shut up. I know it's fucking stupid, okay?" The troll huffed defensively, crossing his arms. Dave frowned at him.

"That's not what I was going to say, dumbass. I was going to say, "That's cool as shit, we should absolutely go dancing at some point together."" He chided. Karkat made a startled squeak in the back of his throat.

"Oh. ... Can you even dance?" He asked, glancing at the human quickly.

"Uh, well. I can't ballroom dance," Dave admitted, "But! I can break dance and line dance. And do the Cupid Shuffle. And the Cha Cha Slide. Although the last two, the music just tells you what to do so I'm not sure they count. I-" He broke off as they suddenly came upon the end of the hall, where it suddenly narrowed into another bridge; this one, however, was crawling with laser drones. As they neared the bridge, Karkat's phone went off.

"M- more lasers... Okay, I- I won't mess around this time. I'll just deactivate the lasers and let you through!" Alphys exclaimed, before the boys heard her keyboard clacking frantically. After a moment, she went silent. "They're... they're not turning off. I can't turn them off, I-" There was some shuffling sounds, before Alphys took a deep breath, "I- it's okay! I have this under control! I'm going to turn off the p- power for the whole node! Then you can walk across!" She suggested. More keyboard clicks, and the whole hall suddenly went dark and dead. If it weren't for the light of Karkat's phone, Dave would've been completely blind. Even still, he took his boyfriend's hand for safety. "Okay! Go!" Alphys urged.

Karkat didn't argue; gripping Dave's hand, they set off across the bridge at a brisk pace, using Karkat's phone for light. Dave glanced up and saw dozens of laser drones; it all seemed very excessive, he thought. As they were crossing under a swarm of them, Alphys spoke again.

"Wait! Stop!" She cried. Both boys froze as the lights flickered, before, with a loud groaning whir, everything kicked back on- including the lasers. The boys found themselves trapped in a grid of blue lights. "Th- the power- it's turning itself back on. D- damn it! This wasn't supposed to... I..." Alphys' voice faltered, and Dave heard her quietly sniffle, before she took a deep breath, "I'm going to turn it off again! When it turns off, move a little, and then stop. Okay? Y- you won't get h- h- hurt." She assured them meekly, before her keyboard sounded off again.

Sure enough, the hall powered down. The boys took off, but only got so far before the lights began to flicker. Skidding to a stop, they froze as the room powered back on, lasers included.

"Oh my god, are you guys okay? I- I c- couldn't keep the power off long enough... I- N- No, we've got this! It's just a little further!" She insisted, her voice wavering. The lights went off again.

And so it went, six more times; Alphys forced the power off, and it turned itself back on mere seconds later. In between, Dave and Karkat hounded for the end of the bridge, until they finally reached the end. Throwing themselves into the hall, both of them let out heavy sighs of relief.

"S- see? I've got everything under control!" Alphys said timidly from the phone, "Everything's- under control!" She hung up.

Looking around, Dave saw the hall here swung around to the left, and he and Karkat turned to follow it. Karkat had opened his mouth to speak, when they suddenly came across another crossroads. This one lead in three directions: forward, left, and right. Sat in the center of it, was a Save Point. Light-up boards lined the walls, and even more of the tubing and wires were laid bare along them. Karkat's eyes lit up and he moved towards the Save Point, as his phone went off again.

"Okay! Y- you should... you should..." Alphys began, before she hesitated. "I... I don't know? This doesn't look like my map at all. I'm sorry, I... I... I have to go." The doctor said forlornly.

"Alphys, wait-" Karkat began, but she'd hung up. He hesitated, staring at his phone, before he sighed and put it away, stepping forward to activate the Save. As the two of them were cloaked in golden light, for the first time in a while, Dave realized they were on their own.


	45. Chapter 45

"So... which way?" Dave asked, looking at the three paths before them. Karkat caught his bottom lip between his teeth and spun in a slow circle, thinking; all three halls looked the exact same. Looking around with him, Dave spotted the signs he'd noticed earlier. He stepped up to read the left one:

**"North, the warrior's path.**   
**West, the sage's path.**   
**Any path leads to The End."**

Lifting his eyebrows, he walked over to the right sign:

**"East...**   
**The End."**

"Let's go left." Karkat said behind him, staring down the corridor. Dave turned around.

"A'ight." He agreed, before following Karkat through the hall.

It quickly ended before them, hooking a right turn. The walls abruptly stopped, too, and they stepped out onto a large bridge structure that spanned out over the room. Before them, there wasn't even a handrail as the ground came to an abrupt end, falling into a pit of white steam and blinking, blue pillars. Directly across from them was a conveyor belt, which was dumping giant ice blocks into the smoke below. Dave heard them hiss and sizzle as they hit whatever was down below.

"Guess we know why that dude in Snowdin was chucking ice in the river." He said, nodding to the cubes. Karkat blinked.

"These came all the way from Snowdin?" He repeated, surprised. They watched a few more cubes fall, before Karkat finally turned away and began to follow the path again. Dave followed, and they came upon another fork, this one leading to their left. Dave saw another sign:

**"Solve this puzzle, and the End will open."**

He glanced at Karkat, who'd stopped to read it, too.

"What do you think?"

"Might as well see it." Karkat shrugged. Together, they followed the path- which had turned into red carpet, Dave noted idly- and arrived at a small, cramped room. On the right wall stood a giant screen, and a control board. Even with the screen dark, Dave recognized the setup.

"It's the game again!" He cried, more excited than he thought he'd be. He eagerly stepped forward and turned it on. This one gave him two shots, and he happily got to work moving the boxes. Karkat leaned against the wall, watching him. It took a few minutes before the boxes were arranged, but he finally had only one in the way. He destroyed it, then shot the second ship.

"I guess this means there's another one around here somewhere." Karkat hummed as "**Congratulations!**" flashed across the screen before it went dark.

"Let's go find it, then." Dave agreed, turning away. He followed Karkat out, and they carried on with the original road. They hadn't gone further than a few yards when it suddenly split, this time to the right. Without hesitation, they took the fork, which quickly split into a four-way crossroad, with another sign:

**"Traverse the northern room, and the End will open."**

"This place is fucking huge." Karkat muttered. Instead of taking the sign's advice, he headed straight across to see what was at the end.

The answer was two more forks. After a moment's pause, he took the left one, and they stepped into a room, similar to the one they'd fought Knight Knight in. However, the only thing in this room was a trashcan. Stepping closer, Dave saw a whole hundred gold, neatly sat on top of crumpled papers and dried out pens. Without a thought, he scooped it up, and they retreated.

Karkat went back, and with an aimless wander in his step, took off in a random direction.

The two of them wandered the halls for what felt like hours, eventually coming across another trashcan room. In this can, however, was a perfectly wrapped Glamburger. Karkat scooped it up, since they had room, and they carried on. They crossed over familiar roads several times, before Karkat took a northern path at one crossroad or another; Dave had lost track of where they were.

The hall they'd chosen turned to the right, before it broke off into a bridge, suspended over a dark chasm below. Glancing around, understandably cautious, Karkat slowly lead Dave across. They'd barely gone three feet, when a pair of monsters leaped out of the dark, and Karkat quickly stepped forward.

Before him was a pair of familiar-yet-not figures. A Whimsun- the terrified insect from back in the Ruins- and a Froggit. Except this Whimsun was dressed in armor, and carried a double-sided spear, while the Froggit looked much rougher than his brothers, and wore a crown on his brow. As Karkat's Soul emerged, he hit Act, and saw the names Whimsalot and Final Froggit. He pressed Check on Whimsalot:

_Whimsalot- 8 ATK -3 DEF_   
_It finally stopped worrying._

"Robbit, robbit." Final Froggit's voice thundered, as Whimsalot made a shuddery sound. Out of their mouths burst golf-ball sized flies and butterflies, respectively. The insects swarmed towards Karkat, who swat them away as he jumped back. As one of the insects exploded against his palm, the smell of nightshade and bleach filled his nose. Coughing, he hit Check on Final Froggit:

_Final Froggit- 8 ATK 0 DEF_   
_Its future looks brighter and brighter._

"Not this time." Whimsalot's voice was startling angry, and they unleashed a second wave of insects. This time, several of the flies barreled into Karkat's chest as he slipped to the side to avoid the butterflies. He groaned; it felt like he'd been punched in the chest. His HP fell to 15 as he switched back to Whimsalot. His other Acts were Pray, Console, and Terrorize. He hit Pray, and dropped to his knees, leaning forward on his hands with his head bowed.

The Whimsalot seemed to pause, before it reached out and touched his head.

"Don't give up!" It told him, before a burst of butterflies flew out of its helmet. Karkat scrambled away, and spotted a pair of green butterflies among the swarm. He reached for them, but in doing so, threw himself in the way of more flies. His HP fell to 12 at the same time Whimsalot's name became yellow. He Spared it, turning his attention to Final Froggit.

"Skip, jump." It hummed. Karkat checked Act, and saw his choices were Threaten, Compliment, and Mystify. Snorting in sudden amusement, he chose Mystify. Turning away, he closed his fist over his thumb on his right hand, while pressing his left thumb between his pointer and middle fingers. He pressed the knuckles of his thumbs together and turned towards Final Froggit, before pulling his hands apart; to the frog, it looked like he'd just pulled his thumb off. Final Froggit's eyes bulged, and he nodded.

Another swarm of flies- which buzzed right past Karkat- and his name turned yellow. Karkat Spared him, and both monsters jumped back into the dark, dropping a hundred gold as they went. Karkat collected it as his Soul faded, sighing with relief.

"You okay?" Dave checked as they began walking again.

"Uh-huh." Karkat took his hand and squeezed it reassuringly.

Another few yards, and a second pair of monsters appeared. This time, Dave took the initiative and stepped up, his Soul bursting from his chest like it had tired of being unused. Before him stood Knight Knight and Madjick. Relieved- he knew how to handle them- he quickly chose to Stare at one of Madjick's orbs.

"Farewell." Knight Knight murmured.

"Abracadabra!" Madjick hissed. With a sound like a gunshot, a miniature sun appeared above their heads, and began to rain a storm of fire down on the Strider, who jumped away. At the same time, Madjick's orb flew at him, spitting out the glowing crosses behind it. Managing to roll and twist away from both attacks, he hit Stare and focused on the other orb.

"Goodbye." Knight Knight mumbled.

"Tinkle tinkle hoy!" Crowed Madjick.

This time, the moon and hail of meteors appeared, as did the four orbs that spat crosses towards Dave. Unable to dodge so many things at once, one of the crosses slammed into Dave's shoulder and sent him stumbling back; he tripped over his own feet and fell on his back, his HP cutting down to 17. Sitting up quickly, he saw the magician's name in yellow, and swiftly Spared him.

"Farewell." Knight Knight repeated. Dave huffed, getting to his feet and selecting Sing. Not knowing what to sing, though, he went on autopilot and just began spitting out an old song of his own design- one he'd put together himself and put on a CD. This seemed satisfactory to Knight Knight, who's eyes began to droop.

Twice more he sang, while Knight Knight attacked; once with spears, and once with the sun. Finally, he saw her eyes close, and her name turned yellow. He Spared her, too. Dropping a hundred and thirty gold, Madjick took Knight Knight and retreated into the dark.

"Wow." Karkat commented as Dave scooped up the gold.

"What?"

"I sang a lullaby, and you rapped. That's just-" He shook his head, snorting in amusement.

"I didn't know what else to do! It was either that or the fucking ABCs." Dave frowned. Karkat snickered.

"Okay, fine, I suppose rapping would have been better than that." He conceded.

"So glad I have your approval." Dave rolled his eyes, but couldn't stop the grin that crossed his face. Standing up straight, they carried on.

Just as they reached the end of the bridge, _three_ monsters jumped out of the dark: A Whimsalot, a Final Froggit, and a newcomer named Astigmatism. It looked much like Loox, Dave thought, but when its eye closed, it revealed a mouth full of teeth and a pair of smaller eyes.

Karkat quickly Mystified Final Froggit and Prayed to Whimsalot, managing to avoid their attacks and Sparing them both, before he hit Check on the final monster:

_Astigmatism- 8 ATK -2 DEF_   
_This relentless bully ALWAYS gets its way._

"Don't pick on me." Astigmatism gurgled, before a stream of bubbles spewed from its mouth. Karkat sidestepped them, looking at his options: Pick On, Don't Pick On, and Challenge. He chose Don't Pick On, and Astigmatism nodded, pleased. "Finally, someone gets it." It murmured. Another round of bubbles, and its name turned yellow. He Spared it, and the creatures vanished, leaving behind a whopping hundred and fifty gold.

He picked it up and they carried on silently, finally reaching the end of the bridge; there was nothing there, except a single switch. Karkat hit it, but nothing happened.

"We went through all that for this?!" He hissed, scowling.

"Maybe it activated something somewhere else. Come on." Dave suggested, before turning away. Pouting, Karkat followed him back across the bridge.

A while more of wandering later, they found nothing that seemed different. However, they did come across a hall they hadn't explored yet, and headed down it. It lead them down another bridge, which quickly branched to the left, where another sign blinked on the wall:

**"Get lost... and stay that way."**

"That's very fucking helpful. Pretty sure we're already fucking lost." Karkat snapped at the sign. Regardless, he followed the road, which once again took them to a crossroads with a pair of signs:

**"To the east!**   
**This is the End."**

**"I cannot fight. I cannot think.**   
**But, with patience, I will make my way through."**

Dave frowned; he didn't like the phrasing in the second sign. Karkat looked around, before he took the right fork. It lead them to another large, long bridge.

They crossed it, both alert for enemies, but none appeared. They made it to the end of the bridge, where they came upon a doorway- like the one that lead into the Core, Dave noted, with the Delta Rune sign above the door- a Save Point, and the elevator. Karkat headed for the Save and activated it, as they turned to look at the door.

"This is the end, then." Dave muttered, swallowing; his bravado before had faded, and left only a heavy, cold feeling in his gut. Karkat looked at the doorway and nodded slowly.

"... I'm not ready." He admitted.

"That's okay." Dave assured him, taking his hand, "I am."


	46. Chapter 46

Taking a deep breath, Dave gripped Karkat's hand and stepped through the doorway. Immediately, he was unnerved; it was dark, the path was narrow, and a low, mechanical, pulsing sound filled the air. His grip on the troll's hand tightened as butterflies erupted in his stomach, both from fear and excitement. They edged along the path, until he felt, more than saw, the ground widen around them. As they stood there, blinking, a loud thunk sounded overhead, before a spotlight shown on the center of the room.

Low and behold, it was Mettaton. Looking around, Dave was startled to see they were on what looked like an arena-like stage.

"Oh yes~. There you are, darlings." The robot spoke, making him look back, "It's time to have our little showdown. It's time to finally stop the "malfunctioning" robot." He made air quotes with his hands. If he had eyes, Dave didn't doubt he would have rolled them, "_Not!_" He continued, spitting the word out like it was bile, "Malfunctioning? Reprogramming? Get real. This was all just a big show. An act. Alphys has been playing you two for fools the whole time."

Dave and Karkat shared a knowing look.

"As she watched you on the screen, she grew attached to your adventure. She desperately wanted to be a part of it. So she decided to insert herself into your story. She reactivated puzzles. She deactivated elevators. She enlisted me to torment you. All so she could save you from dangers that did not exist."

"Yeah, Mets, we figured that out-"

"All so you two would think she's the great person that she's not." Mettaton continued, talking over Dave, "And now, it's time for her finest hour. At this very moment, Alphys is waiting outside the room. During our "battle", she will interrupt. She will pretend to "deactivate" me, "saving" you both one final time. Finally, she'll be the heroine of your adventure. You'll regard her so highly she'll even be able to convince you not to leave. ... Or not."

"Or not." Karkat muttered in agreement.

"You see, I've had enough of this predictable charade. I have no desire to harm humans. Far from it, actually. My only desire is to entertain. After all, the audience deserves a good show, don't they? And what's a good show... without a plot twist?" Dave could almost hear the sneer in his voice.

A loud bang suddenly went off behind the boys, making them whip around to see the door had slammed shut and locked behind them. Someone pounded on the door from the other side.

"H- hey! Wh- wh- what's going on?! Th- the door just locked itself!" Alphys' muffled voice cried.

Several more spotlights flashed on- these ones were tinted red- at the same time a light lit up around the edges of the stage. Mettaton's army of camera drones suddenly appeared out of the darkness, wreathing around the stage so they caught it from all angles.

"Sorry, folks! The old program's been canceled! But we've got a finale that will drive you wild!" Mettaton cried. From behind his back, he pulled out a microphone to speak into, his other hand flourishing into the air as he addressed the drones More lights burst into being, lighting up the stage. The ground shook as blue lights flashed around them. "More action! More drama! More bloodshed!" Mettaton cried gleefully, "On our new show, "Attack of the Killer Robot!"

Dave, who was standing protectively in front of Karkat, suddenly balked as his Soul flew out of his chest to confront the robot as an exciting, electronic, almost dance-party-esque song began to play. Dave looked back at Karkat.

"You want to fight him, or should I just-?"

"No, by all means. Don't let me stop you." Karkat snorted, releasing his hand and stepping back. Dave grinned and laughed, despite himself. He quickly kissed Karkat on the lips, before he stepped forward.

"Ooh~! Wonderful news, viewers~! I get to fight a _real_ human~!" Mettaton purred.

_That_ brought Dave up short. "So you did know!" He cried over the music as his option boxes shimmered into existence. He quickly hit Check:

_Mettaton- ATK 8 DEF 999_   
_His metal body renders him invulnerable to attack._

"Of course I knew. Has the author not been writing in- mostly- your point of view this whole time?" Mettaton shrugged.

"What?"

"Yes, I was the one who rearranged the Core!" The robot continued loudly, "I was the one who hired everyone to kill you! That, however, was a short sighted plan. You know what would be a hundred times better? Killing you myself!" Mettaton cried.

"Wait, you- you were the one who paid off Muffet!? Motherfucker, I fought that spider bitch and her lusus for nothing?!" Karkat shouted angrily behind them.

Dave went to reach for Act again, but his only other option besides Check was Burn. He frowned. As he was contemplating what to do, his Soul caught his eye- it was turning. To his shock, it flipped upside down and turned yellow, just as Karkat's had. Whipping out his phone, Dave saw he, too, had the app that let his Soul shoot those strange bullets of light. He didn't have the option for that, though. Frowning, he switched to Mercy and chose Spare.

"Listen, darling. I've seen you fight." Mettaton continued, "You're both _weak_. If you continue forward, Asgore will take your Souls. And with your Souls, Asgore will destroy humanity."

"We are not weak!" Dave snarled at him. Before he could continue, Mettaton flung out a hand. Strange cubes began to rain from ceiling above, and Dave's hurt at being called weak vanished as he recognized them; it was just like the games he'd been playing! Delighted, he raised his phone; his Soul followed his command.

Instead of dodging the boxes, he stood below them and fired; sure enough, the boxes exploded in a flash of light. The rest of the boxes fell harmlessly around him and vanished as they hit the floor.

"But if I get your Souls, I can stop Asgore's plan! I can save humanity from destruction!" Mettaton explained as a second rain of boxes fell. These boxes were solid- the kind Dave couldn't shoot through- but there were two transparent ones on one side or the other. He quickly skidded towards the shoot-able boxes and fired. The final bar that fell had no transparent boxes, but a single, golden, pulsing box. He shot through that one and was home free.

"Humanity was already destroyed, stupid! The only humanity left is a single fucking city!" Dave snapped at him, but his words fell on deaf word processors.

"Then, using your Soul, I'll cross the barrier, and become the star I've always dreamed of being!" Mettaton purred, "Hundreds, thousands... no! Millions of humans will watch me!" Mettaton crooned.

There's not that many of us yet, Dave thought; ecto-biology only got them so far with making new citizens of earth C, and there were barely a thousand people living in the city they'd created. Mettaton clearly wasn't listening to him, though, too caught up in his own fantasies, so Dave didn't bother to explain that out loud.

More boxes rained down, and he shot away the closest ones.

"Glitz! Glamour! I'll finally have it all! So what if a few people have to die? That's show business, baby!" Mettaton laughed.

"We barely have functioning internet, what makes you think we have decent TV?" Karkat yelled at him. Dave found himself on the verge of laughter, but he jumped as his phone suddenly went off. He answered it, pressing it to his ear to hear over the music.

"Yeah?"

"U... uh, I can't see what's going on in there, but- d- don't give up, okay?!" Alphys cried through his phone's speaker, "Th- there's one last way to beat Mettaton! It's... um... it's... This is a work in progress, so don't judge too hard... But you know how Mettaton always faces towards you? That's because there's a switch on his backside. S- s- so if y- you c- c- can turn him around, um... and, um, p- press the switch... He'll be, um- h- he'll be... Vulnerable. Well, g- gotta go!"

"A switch, huh?" Dave mused as she hung up. Sticking his phone in his pocket, he checked Act, and saw his option had changed from Burn to _Turn_. He pressed it, looking up. "Hey, Mets, there's a mirror behind you!"

"Oh? A mirror? Right, I have to look perfect for our grand finale!" He spun around, searching for the looking glass. Sure enough, on his back, was a large switch. "Hm... I don't see it... where is it?" He asked.

Dave didn't respond. He stepped forward and flicked the switch.

The music suddenly went dead, and Mettaton went still. Dave instinctively froze, too.

"Did you. Just flip. My switch?" Mettaton asked slowly.

Dave suddenly jumped back as Mettaton began to shake violently, whirring and clanking filling the air. A pair of ultra bright spotlights suddenly trained on the robot, blinding Dave, as white smoke began to pour from fog machines, shrouding the stage. With a bang, and hushed sound of metal clicking and locking, whatever Dave could make out of Mettaton's figure suddenly vanished.

"O O O H Y E S S~!!" Mettaton's voice cried, but- it no longer sounded exactly like Mettaton. The voice was that of a man, with deep, sultry vocals that only barely betrayed the tinny, robotic tone.

As Dave's eyes adjusted to the light, a figure stepped forward from the mist, planted his feet, and spread his arms wide.

"Ohh my... If you flipped my switch, that can only mean one thing. You're _desperate_ for the premiere of my new body. How rude... Lucky for you, I've been _aching_ to show this off for a long time. So... As thanks, I'll give you a _handsome_ reward. I'll make your last living moments... Absolutely beautiful~!"

Dave's jaw hit the floor.

Standing before him was an absolutely stunning automaton. The spotlights shone off of a shimmering, polished, body- an actual, humanoid body. Dave's eyes slowly raked down the figure before him, and Mettaton stood there, posing, letting him take it in as new music kicked on.

Mettaton's hair- it looked fucking _real, holy shit, what the fuck_\- was silky, shining, and ebony black. It was brushed over his face, covering his right eye. It was obviously groomed and shaped to stay there, but it had just enough messiness to it to offset what would have looked like a staged cut.

His face was beautifully sculpted; from what material, Dave could only guess. High cheekbones, plush, black painted lips, and a stunning nose that was positioned perfectly on his perfect face. His eye was a shining, fuchsia light compared to the silver, pink tinge of his pseudo-skin. Stormy grey eye shadow and black eyeliner only made it seem brighter. Below his eye was bare metal plating that followed the line of his cheek and jaw lines. Studded bolts under his eye looked like piercings.

His neck was covered in a thick, black collar that covered his entire throat. His shoulders were covered by a black, metal plating that jutted out to the sides, throwing shadows over sinewy, muscled, steel-overlaid arms. His hands were covered by white, silken gloves that were so tight on his fingers they may as well have been painted on; Dave could see every ridge and knuckle on his fingers through them.

Mettaton's chest was bright pink, polymer casing. On his right pectoral was some sort of circular meter, while a speaker was input on his left. Below that, around his- gorgeously pinched yet curvy- waistline, was a large belt, with a steel buckle, set in which was a plastic, neon pink heart blinking on it.

Hugging his hips like a second skin were a pair of glossy, black, leather pants, that followed the curvaceous lines of his thick thighs and plump ass. They disappeared into a pair of knee-high, bright pink, high-heeled boots that looked strong enough to crush rocks with. They, too, hugged the robot's form, showing off strong calves.

Dave suddenly understood Dirk's lust for robots.

He checked Act, and saw his options were Pose, Boast, and Heel Turn. Looking back up, he saw a screen had descended from the ceiling, with the title "**RATINGS**" flashing across the top. Below that was a squirming graph and flashing numbers that were rapidly falling. Realizing the cameras were trained on him, and Mettaton was waiting for his move, Dave sneered. He began to nod to the music, and when it hit just right, he selected Pose.

Thrusting one foot forward, Dave twisted his hips, planted one hand on his hip, and flung the other into the air, palm up and wrist bent back. He gave the robot his classic Strider smirk, quirking an eyebrow at him. Mettaton's lovely lips pulled up in a smile as the ratings chart suddenly jumped up.

Mettaton began to nod, too, before he began dancing, sashaying closer. He suddenly swung his leg around, aiming to roundhouse kick Dave in the chest.

Dave dodged by jumping back, contorting his body into a back flip at the same time; if Mettaton wanted him to put on a show, then by god Dave would fucking _preform_. He dodged two more kicks with more twists and flips, before he spun away and struck a second pose. The music and the sound of his own heartbeat roared in his ears as adrenaline rushed through his veins. Under the lights, with the bass pounding through his head, Dave had never felt more alive.

And so he danced and fought for his life. He forgot about Karkat, forgot about Asgore, forgot about Alphys- it was just him and Mettaton, a pair of twisting, writhing, bodies on a stage all their own as music pulsed through their forms in place of their hearts. Dave hammered the Pose option, striking one pose or another- at one point he did a full on split on the ground. He flipped onto his hands, threw himself forward to spin on his shoulder and come out stretched across the ground, his cheek in one hand and hip in the other. Mettaton lunged for him and he rolled away, using his hands to flip forward onto his feet.

As he paused to catch his breath, he saw the ratings had leaped very high. Distracted, he didn't see Mettaton's next attack. The robot swept his arm forward, and miniature Mettaton figurines burst from slots along his arm. Dave barely had time to dodge before they were upon him. Upon contact with his body, they exploded with a bang. Dave screamed in pain as the shrapnel from one lacerated through his shoulder, blood spraying down his sleeve. His HP fell to 17.

Gritting his teeth, Dave saw the ratings had jumped again from the violence.

"Romance! Drama! Bloodshed! We've got it all!" Mettaton cried, sneering. Hissing, Dave hit Boast.

"You fucking wish! You got lucky! Try and hit me again, I bet I can dodge anything you throw at me!" He taunted. Ratings jumped at the same time the music did, and Mettaton laughed.

Another wave of mini Mettatons were flung at him, but this time a handful of bombs were among them.

Not one to lose an audience, Dave directed his Soul to fire at the figurines, exploding them into vapor. He spun away from the bombs; sure enough, he was unhurt. He twisted to look at Mettaton and arched an eyebrow pointedly. Mettaton laughed again as he selected Heel Turn.

Spinning on his heel, he put his back to the robot and crossed his arms, before raising one hand to cup his own jaw with his thumb and pointer finger, winking at the camera drone he was facing. Ratings jumped even higher.

"Ooh! It's time for a pop quiz!" Mettaton declared behind him, making him turn, "I hope you brought a keyboard, this one's an essay question! Here's your prompt, darling- What do you love about Mettaton?" The robot grinned. Dave's phone pinged and he looked down to see a keyboard had appeared. Not wasting any time, he began typing. Well, sort of. Not even looking at the keys, keeping his eyes locked with Mettaton, Dave's fingers smashed the keys haphazardly. On a second screen, the gibberish letters appeared, rapidly filling the space as a timer ticked down. When it hit zero, Mettaton waved a hand.

"Beautful! Why don't you write a book?" He sneered. Dave only answered by Posing. "Your essay really showed everyone your heart." Mettaton continued, "Why don't I show you mine?" He purred. From his belt, where the pink, plastic heart stood, emerged the_ robot's Soul._

It, too, was bright pink, and surrounded by a crackling purple electricity. Dave's eyes lit up.

"Big mistake, Mettaton!" He cried, aiming his Soul and firing. The bullets of light struck the robot's soul directly, several times; Dave was so intent on hitting it, he didn't realize he was in danger until the electricity suddenly struck him, jolting through his body and making him yelp. His HP hit 13. At the same time, Mettaton's Soul retreated back into its plastic case. When it did, Dave heard something like a loud bang go off inside the robot, and smoke sudden puffed through heat exhausts on the robot's hips. Mettaton looked momentarily shocked, before his charismatic smile was back.

Dave scowled and chose to Pose again.

"Ooh! I'm just warming up!" Mettaton declared as he unleashed more figurines. Dave obliterated them easily, spun away, and Posed again. "But how are you on the dance floor?" Mettaton asked him, looking up. Dave looked up, too, and saw a disco ball descend from the ceiling.

Blue lights- lasers- suddenly shot out from the ball and began to glide towards Dave, who froze. they passed over him, leaving him unharmed. After a few blues, however, came a white one. Thinking quickly, he fired at the ball. Sure enough, the laser light turned blue and swept over him. He grinned and Posed once again.

Twice more he had to dodge the laser ball's attacks, before Mettaton laughed. "Things are really blowing up!" He cried, tipping his head to the screen. As he spoke, more of his bombs were flung from his arms. They flew towards Dave, who had no choice but to shoot through them. There was just enough time for him to sidestep each one before it exploded. Mettaton nodded, looking at the several feet of space between them.

"We've grown so distant, darling~. How about another heart-to-heart?" He suggested cheekily, before his Soul once more flew out of its case. This time, it had a shield of boxes surrounding it.

Dave easily shot through them and- minding the lightning this time- fired frantically. The shield regenerated itself several times, but Dave was quick to do away with it again. When Mettaton finally recalled it, a second explosion went off inside the robot's body.

Both he and Dave cried out in shock as Mettaton's arms suddenly blasted from their sockets, falling to the floor. White smoke began to pump out of his shoulders.

"Holy fuck! Your arms!" He shouted.

"Arms? Who needs arms with legs like these?" Mettaton laughed, although his voice was shaky. Still, he spun on his heel and stuck a leg into the air, tipping his head back and smiling at one of the cameras, "I'm still going to win!" He twisted, and- from his torso this time- more bombs and boxes were flung at Dave. He shot through the boxes quickly.

Hearing a noise behind him, he turned to see the bombs coming back for him. He quickly jumped away from them, Posing as he did so. Mettaton grit his teeth and released a second wave.

This time, Dave was struck by one of the bombs as it flew too close; it exploded against his side, blasting a hole in his shirt and burning his skin. He cried out as his HP hit 10.

"Come on, darling! The show must go on!" Mettaton taunted. Baring his teeth, Dave reached for his Items. He pulled out the Starfait and chugged it down, watching as the rating absolutely soared when he did. At the same time, his HP was fulled restored and his wounds closed. He turned to Mettaton, anticipating an attack, but the robot looked frustrated; he didn't seem to be doing well without limbs.

"Enough of this! Do you really want humanity to perish?" He demanded, before he pulled up short and closed his eye for a moment, "... Or do you just believe in yourself that much?"

"Myself? Hell no." Dave scoffed as he shot the bombs being sent at him, "But I believe in Karkat, and Paps, and Undyne, and- fuck, I still believe in Sans and Alphys. I believe in the friends waiting for us back home." He twisted and Posed. Mettaton laughed, opening his eye.

"How inspiring! Well darling, its either me or you! But I think we both already know who's going to win. Witness the true power of humanity's star!" So saying, Mettaton once more brought his Soul back out. This time, instead of boxes, his Soul's electricity was accompanied by bombs. As Dave fired at it, Mettaton lunged for him, attempting to spin and kick him at the same time, forcing Dave to jump aside and miss several shots.

Still, whatever shots he'd managed to land seemed to be enough. Mettaton retreated, and so did his Soul. With another bang inside the robot's body, his _legs_ flew off.

Mettaton's torso fell to the floor and he grunted in pain. Dave froze, shocked. Mettaton bowed his head.

"Then... are _you_ the stars? Can you really protect humanity?" He asked quietly.

"I'm damn sure going to try." Dave spat, "I failed once, I'm not fucking up again!" Mettaton nodded. His Soul once more emerged from his belt case. Instead of being _surrounded_ by lightning, it began firing it at Dave's Soul. Throwing himself to the side, Dave twisted away from the electricity and fired at it repeatedly until it retreated to safety. More smoke began pumping violently from Mettaton's shoulders as the ratings grew higher.

Mettaton was silent through his next attacks, although they were all the more violent. By the time they ended, Dave was left standing, trembling, panting, and bleeding. Mettaton's bombs and figurines had come in swarms for both attacks, and despite his frantic dancing and firing, his HP had been cut to 8. Still, he Posed, and the ratings leaped into the ten thousands. Mettaton, who'd been watching the screen, finally spoke.

"Ooh! Look at these ratings!!" He gasped; the music faded out as he turned to a camera drone, "This is the most viewers I've ever had!! We've reached the viewer call-in milestone! One lucky viewer will have the chance to talk to me-" He stuck out his tongue playfully, "before I leave the underground forever! Let's see who calls in first!"

From the speaker on Mettaton's chest came the sound of a phone ringing, before it picked up.

"Hi, you're on TV!" Mettaton greeted the caller, "What do you have to say on this, our last show?" Gentle music began to play softly on the speakers as the caller hesitantly spoke.

"Oh.... Hi... Mettaton...." Came the forlorn- and familiar sounding- voice, "I really liked watching your show.... My life is pretty boring... but...seeing you on the screen.... brought excitement to my life... vicariously... I can't tell, but... I guess this is the last episode...? I'll miss you... Mettaton..."

As the voice was speaking, Mettaton's smile slowly faded. He closed his eye. He looked like he wanted to cry, Dave thought with alarm. Realizing none of the cameras were focused on him, Dave sat down, relieved for the respite. He heard quiet footsteps behind him, and saw Karkat approaching. The troll sat on his knees beside him, eyes trained on Mettaton.

"... Oh... I didn't mean to talk so long... Oh........" The voice murmured, before they suddenly hung up.

"No, wait! Wait, Bl-..." Mettaton's eye snapped open and he stared around, distressed, before he swallowed. "H- they already hung up..." He frowned. He closed his eye again. "... I'll take another caller!" He declared. The phone barely rang before it picked up.

"Mettaton! Your show made us so happy!"

"Mettaton, I don't know what I'll watch without you!"

"Mettaton, there's a Mettaton-shaped hole in my Mettaton-shaped heart."

Caller after caller came in, cried out, and hung up. Mettaton closed his eye and hung his head again.

"Ah... I... I see..." He laughed softly, a sad smile crawling across his lips as he raised his head, "Everyone... thank you so much."

He opened his eye and looked at Karkat and Dave. "... Darlings. Perhaps... it might be better if I stay here a while. Humans already have stars and idols, but Monsters... they only have me. If I left... the underground would lose its spark. I'd leave an aching void that can never be filled. So... I think I'll have to delay my big debut." He smiled- a real, genuine, kind smile, before he shook his head, "Besides, you've both proved to be very strong. Perhaps... even strong enough to get past Asgore." He suddenly focused on Dave, "I'm sure you'll be able to protect humanity." He told him, before he chuckled, looking at the floor.

"It's all for the best, anyway. The truth is, this form's energy consumption is... inefficient. In a few moments, I'll run out of battery power, and... well. I'll be alright." He raised his head and smiled once again. "Knock 'em dead, darlings." He looked up at the cameras. "And everyone... thank you. You've been a great audience!" He cried.

Dave blinked; his vision had gone blurry, he realized. He blinked rapidly and reached up to rub his eyes. When he lowered his hands, his Soul had faded, as too had the light in Mettaton's eyes; he'd powered down. The camera drones quietly retreated as the lights overhead dimmed. Dave looked at Karkat, who opened his mouth to speak, when the door behind them suddenly burst open, making them twist around.

"I- I managed to open the lock! Are you two-" Alphys suddenly came scurrying up the path, only to freeze as she saw the three of them, "Oh my god." She stepped around them and ran to the robot, "Mettaton! Mettaton, are you..." It was very, very faint, but Dave could have sworn he heard a whisper coming from the robot's chest. "...Thank God, it's just the batteries." Alphys sighed, relieved, "Mettaton, if you were gone, I would have... I would have..." She cleared her throat, shaking her head, "I- I mean, h- hey, it's n- no problem, you know?" She said over her shoulder to the boys, "He's just a robot. If you messed it up, I c- could always... just build another. ... Why don't you go on ahead?" She suggested.

Dave and Karkat looked at one another. Silently, they got to their feet, walked around the robot and doctor, and headed for the far door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof, the mettaton fight is hard to write about when you're actively in it. If you don't move, the ratings keep falling, which just makes the battle longer. But oh my god, that was fun.


	47. Chapter 47

Karkat and Dave stepped into another hall of the Core, which quickly turned a corner to their right. Dave paused as soon as they were through the door, leaning against the wall. Karkat turned to him.

"Are you okay?" He asked, concerned.

"Yeah. That was... a lot." He muttered, closing his eyes for a moment and taking a deep breath. Karkat nodded.

"... You know who called Mettaton first, right? That was Napstablook's voice." He said, pulling out his phone and opening their inventory. Dave opened his eyes as Karkat pulled out their Nice Cream and passed it to him.

"It was?" He asked, surprised, taking the treat. He tore off the wrapper and ate the popsicle gratefully.

"Yeah. Remember the house next to his that we couldn't get into? And the key Bratty and Catty were selling?" Karkat stuffed his hands in his pockets.

"You think... that was Mettaton's place?" Dave blinked, licking popsicle juice off his lips.

"I think it's worth checking out." Karkat frowned, looking down at the floor, "Mettaton has a Soul, like you and me. I... I have a hunch I want to look into." He explained. Dave blinked.

"Okay, then. Well, let's get the hell out of dodge and find the nearest elevator back." He suggested. Wiping his hands on his jeans, he pushed off the wall and took Karkat's hand. Karkat hummed in agreement, and they turned the corner.

"You fought well, by the way." Karkat added after a moment, "Your dancing was impressive." Dave grinned, swooping down to kiss Karkat's cheek.

"Thanks. It was pretty fun. I wasn't expecting Mettaton to be so..."

"Hot?" Karkat supplied. Dave looked at him.

"Really?"

Karkat gave him a reproachful look. "Oh come on, you were drooling over him, too."

"I'm gay, Karks, and Mets came at me with those leather pants!" Dave huffed defensively, his ears burning.

"I'm pretty sure you said you identify as bi, but whatever. I share the sentiment." Karkat snorted.

Their banter came to a halt at the sound of footsteps behind them. Both turned around to see Alphys shuffling up the hall towards them.

"S... Sorry about that!" The doctor said nervously, "L- let's keep going!" She motioned for them to go ahead. Sharing a look, Karkat and Dave turned and kept walking. They heard Alphys' claws click on the ground as she followed. "S- so, you're about to meet Asgore, huh? You must be... y- you must be... pr- pretty excited about all that, huh?" Alphys stammered after a moment of silence, "You'll f- f- finally- you'll finally get to go home!"

"That's the plan." Dave said without turning around.

The hall suddenly came to an end, with only an elevator. Dave swerved towards it and hit the button.

"W- wait!" Alphys suddenly cried as the doors swung open. The boys turned to look at her. "I- I mean, um... I... I was just going to, um... Say goodbye, and..." She wrung her hands together, her giant teeth gnawing on her lip anxiously. She ran her tongue over her lips, before her anxious smile fell and she looked away. "I... I can't take this anymore." She sighed, her shoulders slumping; she looked downright miserable. "I... I lied to you. A Human Soul isn't strong enough to cross the barrier alone. It takes at least a Human Soul... and a Monster Soul." She said softly.

Dave and Karkat stiffened, looking at one another, before Alphys turned back to them, her head hung in shame.

"If you want to go home... You'll have to take his Soul. You'll have to kill Asgore." She said quietly, glancing up at Karkat for the briefest moment, before she turned away again. Hugging herself tightly, she took a shuffling step away. "... I'm sorry." She choked like she was holding back tears, before she took off running down the hall.

"Alphys!" Dave called. Releasing Karkat's hand, he ran after the scientist, "Alphys, wait!" He skidded around the corner, ready to grab her, but she was gone. Disappointed, he stared at the doorway for a long moment, before he turned and trudged back to Karkat.

Without a word, he followed Karkat into the elevator. The button grid here only had one, unlabeled, lit up button. Karkat pressed it as Dave slumped against the wall. The elevator doors swished shut, and it began to rise silently. Karkat turned to look at Dave, who was staring at his shoes. After a moment, Dave balled his hand into a fist and jerked it back, slamming it into the wall behind him.

"Dammit!" He snarled, before he slid down the wall and onto the floor. He pulled his knees up and curled himself into a ball, wrapping his arms around his shins and laying his head on his knees. Karkat walked over and silently sat beside him, waiting. "Fuck!" Dave spat, "I'm- fuck! I don't-" He broke off with a frustrated snarl.

"Don't what?" Karkat asked patiently.

"I don't want to kill Asgore, I don't want to leave things this way with Alphys- or Sans, for that fucking matter, fuck! I know what he said, I know he- no, fucking, scratch that, I don't know anything about him anymore. I thought he was- th- thought he could've been... but then he fucking- just like... FUCK!" Dave dug his fingers into his calves, his breathing hard and heavy with frustration. He could feel tears burning under his eyelids, and he squeezed them shut tighter.

Karkat reached over and gently disengaged one of his hands and held it; Dave squeezed his fingers tightly, rocking back and forth slowly. Karkat pet the back of his hand with his thumb, leaning onto Dave's shoulder.

"I don't like this, Karkat." He muttered at last, "I don't like all this fucking- all these questions. We've got puzzle pieces and no fucking box to look at to guide us. Everything everyone says is confusing and cryptic and I hate it."

He felt Karkat squeeze his hand gently. "I know, Dave. I don't like it either. I... I certainly don't want to kill Asgore, either. But maybe there's a way out of it." He murmured.

"Yeah? How?"

"Well... If I'm perceived as human- for some fucking reason- and you're seen as a monster... maybe our Souls alone will be enough to get through the barrier." He said carefully.

"But if we leave, everyone else stays trapped here. I promised Sans I wouldn't-"

"Okay, okay. Right. Then we can try to break it. Undyne said the king already has six Human Souls. If we combine them with our Souls, that makes eight. That should be more than enough, right? All we have to do is get those fucking Souls." Karkat soothed. Dave raised his head and opened his eyes, making Karkat sit up to look at him. He took a deep breath and wiped his eyes with his free hand.

"Yeah... okay. Yeah. Thanks, Karks. When the hell did you get so wise?" He sniffed, a watery smile crawling across his face. Karkat shrugged.

"I'm not. Sorry if I made you think that." He snorted, leaning his head back onto Dave's shoulder, "You put up with my breakdowns, it's only fair I talk you down from yours."

Dave smiled softly, laying his head over Karkat's as he looked around. "Thanks. This elevator is taking forever."

"I noticed. It's quiet, too."

Just as the words left Karkat's lips, the doors suddenly opened. The boys sat up and looked at each other, before they laughed. Getting to their feet, they left the elevator, and stepped out into a hall.

Grey, grey, very grey; the walls, floor, the ceiling- everything was just grey stone.

"Oh, well, this is very friendly." Dave muttered. Up ahead was the only splash of color around- a Save Point. He and Karkat hurried towards it, and Karkat Saved. The hall they'd stepped into took a turn to the left. Once the golden glow had faded, they turned to follow it.

It quickly took a turn to the right and lead on. To their left was a second elevator. They'd come out on a balcony walk, overlooking a giant city. 

"Holy shit." Dave breathed.

"That must be the capital." Karkat said softly, looking at the buildings that seemed to stretch on for miles. Dave nodded, glancing at the elevator beside them.

"Wanna see where that takes us?" He suggested. Karkat looked at it, too.

"Sure."

They walked over and Karkat hit the button. It buzzed, but nothing happened. Dave frowned.

"It might be broken. Oh, shit, it might be the one connected to the hotel, actually." He realized. Karkat hummed.

"Let's keep going, then, I guess." He turned away and headed down the walk, and Dave followed. After a long while, the path took a left turn, and they swung around to follow it. More of the city unfolded below them, and both were too caught up in staring at it to speak.

The path suddenly widened around them, making them look up. Laid out on the path before them, was a pile of leaves. Beyond it, the path ended with a second Save Point. And behind it, stood a very familiar building.

"This looks like Toriel's place!" Karkat gasped. Dave nodded. Karkat was right. Everything, from the leaf covered flowerbeds, to the windows, looked just like Toriel's house. The only thing different here was that the stones were faded, old, and crumbling. Karkat stepped forward and activated the Save, before he hurried for the door. "Toriel?" He called as he disappeared inside.

Dave slowly followed, a sinking feeling in his chest; this wasn't Toriel's place, he thought, but it was certainly somebody's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry it's so short today guys, the next part is too important to just tack on to the end here. I promise they'll go back and investigate Mettaton's house asap, once I can get them there.


	48. Chapter 48

The smell of cobwebs and dust filled Dave's nose as he stepped inside the abandoned home. Nothing but silence and his own heartbeat greeted his ears.

A pang of familiarity struck him as he looked around; it looked just like Toriel's house, the only difference being the lack of upkeep. And the chain across the stairs to the basement, with a pair of padlocks and a note taped between them:

**"Howdy! I'm in the garden. If you have anything you need to get off your chest, please don't hesitate to come. They keys are in the kitchen and the hallway."**

Karkat had stopped in the foyer and was looking around, his shoulders slumping hesitantly and his hopeful expression falling.

"She's... not here, is she?" He asked.

"No. Come on, let's snoop." Dave stepped forward and took Karkat's hand. Karkat looked around, before he headed to their right, towards the hall of bedrooms.

Everything, from the paint on the walls, to the threads of the carpet, were faded, graying, and coming undone. The only vibrant colors were from potted flowers that stood in vases. At the first door, Karkat tried the knob. Surprisingly, the door creaked open, and they stepped inside.

Just like the bedroom they'd slept in so long ago, Dave thought; except this room had two beds, not one. Ancient toys sat fraying against the wall, the beds neatly made and covered in a layer of dust. Sat on the unraveling carpet between the beds were a pair of gift boxes. Sharing a look, Dave released Karkat's hand and watched him walk towards them.

Karkat knelt down and pulled the lid off the first one. He pulled out a golden, heart shaped locket, before it vanished into their inventory. Pulling out his phone, he opened their items and selected the Info on the locket:

_"Heart Locket"- Armor DEF 15_   
_It says "Best Friends Forever."_

They silently read the information, before he turned to the second box. He pulled out a worn, black iron dagger. He pulled up the information on it:

_"Worn Dagger"- Weapon ATK 15_   
_Perfect for cutting plants and vines._

After a moment of consideration, Karkat switched back to the locket and pulled it out. At the same time, he reached up and pulled off his Temmie Armor.

"What are you doing?" Dave asked him; even though he spoke in a level voice, it sounded much too loud in the dead air.

"I don't know. I just feel like this is right." Karkat said distractedly. The armor vanished into their inventory as he slipped the locket around his neck. He then reached for his belt, where his Burnt Pan still hung. He pulled out the dagger and replaced the pan. He rose to his feet and looked around the room, his face expressionless. Dave simply waited, until Karkat turned back to him and nodded.

They left the room, and headed further down the hall. The next room was locked. A sign on the door read, "**Room under renovations.**"

"That was Toriel's room, back in her... house..." Karkat said, his voice faltering in confusion. He looked towards the third room; back in Toriel's house, it was the one that was closed. But this door had no sign. Walking over to it, Karkat tried the nob, and the door swung open. As Dave went to join him, a pair of Froggits suddenly appeared, seemingly having dropped from the ceiling. His Soul emerged, but the Froggits didn't give him a chance to Act.

"_A long time ago, a human fell into the Ruins._" The first Froggit croaked.

"_Injured by its fall, the human called out for help._" The second burbled, before they bound down the hall and out of sight. Dave whipped around to watch them go, bewildered.

"... What?" Dave asked.

"Hey, look." Karkat said behind him, making him turn back. The troll had picked up a key that had been sitting on an end table, and was in the process of sliding it onto the key chain attached to his phone, "Must go to the chain." He jerked his head back towards the foyer.

"Yeah." Dave blinked, still processing what the Froggits said as he followed Karkat into the new room.

This room, unlike the rest of the house, was clean, and showed signs of recent use. Still, it was graying, an almost wilted feel in the air. To their right stood a large desk, covered in papers and books. Moving closer, Dave saw a book titled "**Asgore's Journal.**"

"Asgore?" He repeated, surprised. He flipped it open to look. Every page was dated, and every entry simply said, "**Nice day today!**"- the ink was still slightly wet on the newest entry. Frowning, he shut it again and looked around. In the far right corner stood a king sized bed, the blankets haphazardly pulled up to the pillow in an attempt to make it tidy.

To the left, tucked in the corner, was a golden trophy. Walking over, Dave knelt down and turned it around to read the inscription:

**"No. 1 Nose-Nuzzle Champs, '98!"**

Meanwhile, Karkat had walked over to the bureau, which stood next to the bed, and opened the doors. Hung up inside was a Santa Clause suit. Shutting the doors again, he noticed a framed piece of macaroni art, in the shape of a flower. In red crayon at the bottom was scribbled, "**For King Dad!**"

Turning away, he headed for the dresser as Dave went back to snooping at the desk. Opening the drawers, Karkat saw robes, button-up shirts, and a single, pink, hand-knit sweater that said "**Mr. Dad Guy.**"

"I guess this is the king's house." Karkat said at last, shutting the drawers again.

"Yup." Dave turned from the desk as Karkat walked over, and together they left the room, shutting the door behind them.

"Why does it look like Toriel's though?" Karkat frowned as Dave looked around; the only thing left in the hall was a mirror. Dave headed for it.

"Dunno." he said, as his and Karkat's reflections appeared before them.

They both looked beaten, worn, and tired. They had bags under their eyes that hadn't been their before. Dave ran a hand through his hair to brush it back into place, and felt Karkat take his other hand. He met Karkat's reflection's gaze.

"Despite everything, we're still fucking kicking." Karkat murmured, squeezing his fingers briefly. Dave smiled softly and squeezed back.

"Hell yeah." He turned away from the mirror, and they headed back down the hall.

Just as they reached the end, a pair of Whimsuns came buzzing towards them. _Both_ Dave and Karkat's Souls burst from their chests.

"_Asriel, the king's son, heard the human's call._" The first whimpered.

_"He brought the human back to the castle."_ The second one quivered.

"Asriel?" Dave and Karkat looked at each other, surprised, but the Whimsuns sped away, and their Souls faded. Sharing another look, they pressed on, crossing the foyer and entering the living room; it, like everything else, was set up like Toriel's had been.

The fireplace was empty, though, and the reading chair looked unused. At the table, two smaller chairs accompanied the two bigger ones. At the rack of fireplace tools, said tools had been replaced with gardening trowels, shears, shovels and rakes. Scanning the bookshelf beside the fireplace, Dave saw books on gardening, how to make tea, and scrapbooks.

As the two of them headed for the kitchen, a trio of Moldsmals burbled out from the cracks in the floor. As the boy's Souls emerged, they began to speak.

"_Over time, Asriel and the human became like siblings._" The first squelched.

"_The King and Queen treated the human child as their own._" The second gurgled.

"_The underground was full of hope._" The third one oozed, before they dissolved back into the floor.

Silently, Dave and Karkat pressed on.

Entering the kitchen, they saw the second key set out on the counter. As Karkat snatched it up and stuck it on the keychain, Dave looked around. Set next to the key was a note:

**"Howdy! Help yourself to anything you want!"**

Opening the fridge, Dave saw it was full of containers of snails. He quickly shut it, pulling a face. Glancing at the sink, he saw a clump of white fur stuck in the drain. Turning to the stove, he saw it was immaculately clean.

"Dave." Karkat said softly, catching his attention. The troll was standing next to the trashcan, looking down at it. Walking over, Dave was it was full of crumpled up Butterscotch-Cinnamon Pie recipes. "... Do you think... Toriel used to live here? Then she was... banished, or something?" He asked quietly. Dave could only shake his head.

"I don't know, man. Come on." Taking Karkat's hand, he lead the way back out and towards the foyer. They reached the chained off stairs, and Karkat pulled out his phone. Using the keys, he unlocked both padlocks. The chain dropped away, and both looked at the stairs.

Before, those stairs had taken them to their heart-wrenching fight with Toriel; Dave's chest felt tight just thinking about it. Now, knowing what lay ahead, his every step towards the dark staircase felt heavy. Karkat trudged silently after him.

Just as they reached the bottom of the steps, a pair of Migosp scurried out of the gloom.

"_Then... one day..._" The first hissed softly.

"_The human became very ill."_ The second chittered. And just like that, they were gone again. Karkat's hand gripped Dave's tighter as they pressed on.

Three Vegetoids burrowed out of the floor next.

_"The sick human had only one request."_

_"To see the flowers from their village."_

_"But there was nothing we could do."_

Dave and Karkat nodded and moved on; the air was thick and somber in the basement, weighing on Dave's mind like heavy blanket. A pair of Loox scampered up.

_"The next day..."_ Said one.

"_The next day._" The second repeated.

"..." The first blinked and looked away.

"_The human died._" The second said for them.

"They... died?" Karkat repeated, his eyebrows folding together in concern. Like before, the Loox retreated instead of answering. Dave struggled to put one foot in front of the other as they moved on.

A pair of Snowdrakes fluttered forth.

_"Asriel, wracked with grief, absorbed the human's Soul."_

_"He transformed into a being with incredible power."_

Dave's throat, and Karkat's grip on his hand, became tight. As they reached where the basement turned to the left, three Icecaps approached.

"_With the human Soul, Asriel crossed the barrier."_

_"He carried the human's body into the sunset."_

_"Back to the village of the humans."_

They turned the corner, only for the basement to quickly turn to the right. Swinging around to follow, three Woshuas crawled towards them.

_"Asriel reached the center of the village."_

_"There, he found a bed of golden flowers."_

_""He carried the human onto it."_

Dave vision was swimming and wet as the basement came to an end. They crossed out onto another balcony walk, once more overlooking the great capital city far below. He rubbed his eyes with his free hand, his chest and head full of several different, thick emotions. Karkat seemed to be fairing no better. As they stepped onto the balcony, a trio of Shyrens slithered forth.

_"Suddenly, screams rang out."_

_"The villagers saw Asriel holding the human's body."_

_"They thought that he had killed the child."_

Crossing the balcony with wavering steps, Dave almost ran into the line of three dummies that were waiting for them.

_"The humans attacked them with everything they had."_

_"He was struck with blow after blow."_

_"Asriel had the power to destroy them all."_

"But he didn't, did he?" Karkat croaked as they pressed on. Red tears filmed over the troll's eyes. Knight Knight and Madjick marched towards them.

"_But..._" Knight Knight murmured.

"_Asriel did not fight back._" Madjick nodded to Karkat.

"_Clutching the human..._" Knight Knight sighed.

"_Asriel smiled, and walked away_." Madjick finished.

It was Dave's turn to squeeze Karkat's fingers as the two of them limped forward, before a trio of Final Froggits stopped them.

_"Wounded, Asriel stumbled home."_

_"He entered the castle and collapsed."_

_"His dust spread across the garden."_

All three frogs bowed their heads, before the hopped away.

"Wh... no..." Karkat mumbled, more distressed by the story than he thought he'd be. Dave didn't understand why he was so upset, either; hot tears were running down his face, and he didn't care to wipe them away. One of them rolled off his chin and splashed onto the ground as they forced themselves to carry on. Three Whimsalots fluttered forth.

_"The kingdom fell into despair."_

_"The king and queen had lost two children in one night."_

_"The humans had once again taken everything from us."_

"I'm so sorry." Dave rasped as the monsters flew away. Taking a shaky breath, he grit his teeth and kept walking, though part of him was pleading to turn back; he didn't want to reach the end, didn't want to finish the story. He was only stopped from crashing into a trio of Astigmatisms by Karkat jerking on his hand.

_"The king decided it was time to end our suffering."_

_"Every human who falls down here must die."_

_"With enough Souls, we can shatter the barrier forever."_

Karkat was choking back sobs by the time they reached the next monsters; a Moldsmal, Loox, and Misgosp.

"It's not long now." Loox purred, "King Asgore will give us hope."

"King Asgore will let us go." Moldsmal murmured.

"King Asgore will save us all." Migosp whispered.

"Not all of us." Dave whispered at their fleeing backs, his knees threatening to give out as he and Karkat stumbled forward. Pyrope, and a pair of Vulcans, bound forward.

"You should be smiling, too!" Pyrope cried joyously.

"Aren't you excited?" The first Vulcan asked.

"Aren't you happy?" The second beamed.

"No... no no no..." Karkat moaned, distraught. A single Froggit crawled towards them.

"You're going to be free." It said, its voice cutting through them like knives.

No more monsters appeared after that; they had reached the end of the hall. Before them sat another elevator, while a doorway sat to their right. Dave's guts were in knots as he looked at the doorway. Every fiber of his being was begging for him to turn back, to run, run all the way back to the Snowdin forest, to pound on the door and beg to be let in. His chest felt like it was bleeding, his face hot with tears, as he gathered every ounce of strength he had, and stepped through the door.

They entered a grand hallway, full of warm light. The smell of flowers breezed past them. Golden and yellow hues surrounded them, thrown across the ground by colored glass windows. In front of them stood a Save Point, which Karkat activated. The troll was shaking, red smeared down his cheeks. Their grips on each other's hands were like vices, and neither of them were willing to loosen their grips or let go. Clinging to Karkat's fingers like they were his lifeline, Dave forced his feet to move down the hall.

They passed gorgeous windows, which depicted the Delta Rune in their tinted panes. Golden pillars held up a domed, marble roof, as their footsteps echoed all too loudly on the tile below their feet. All of it went unnoticed by Dave, who kept his head down.

A feeling suddenly passed over Dave. There was no way to describe it, it was just- a feeling. He and Karkat came to a halt, and he raised his head slowly. Standing before him was a very painfully familiar figure.

"Sans..." He rasped, his throat so tight he felt like he couldn't breathe. Sans didn't move, nor did he speak for a long moment.

"So you finally made it." He said at last, "The end of your journey is at hand. In a few moments, you will meet the king. Together... the three of you will determine the future of this world. That's then. Now. You will be judged. You will be judged for your every action." Sans continued as the boys looked at each other, "You will be judged for every EXP you've earned."

"E- EXP?" Dave frowned.

"It's an acronym. It stands for "_Execution Points_." A way of quantifying the pain you have inflicted on others. When you kill someone, your EXP increases. When you have enough EXP, your LOVE increases. LOVE, too, is an acronym. It stands for "_Level of Violence._" A way of measuring someone's capacity to hurt. The more you kill, the easier it becomes to distance yourself. The more you distance yourself, the less it will hurt. The more easily you can bring yourself to hurt others." Sans closed his eyes for a long moment. When he opened them again, a smile stretched across his skull.

"... But you two. You two never gained any LOVE. 'Course, that doesn't mean you're completely innocent or naive. Just that you kept a certain tenderness in your heart. No matter the struggles or hardships you two faced, you strived to do the right thing. You refused to hurt anyone. Even when you ran away, you did it with a smile. You never gained LOVE, but you gained _love_. Does that make sense? Maybe not." He closed his eyes again and took a deep breath. "... Now. You're about to face the greatest challenge of your entire journey. Your actions here, will determine the fate of the entire world. If you refuse to fight, Asgore will take your Souls and destroy humanity. But if you kill Asgore and go home... monsters will remain trapped underground. What will you do?" He looked away, shutting his eyes again.

"Well, if I were you two, I would have thrown in the towel by now. But you didn't get this far by giving up, did you? You two have something called "determination." So as long as you hold on, so as long as you do what's in your hearts, I believe you two can do the right thing. Alright. We're all counting on you, kids." He winked, grinning at them, "Good luck."

"S- Sans-" Dave choked. He had so much to say, so much he _needed_ to, _had_ to say, but he couldn't get enough air in his lungs. He blinked, and Sans was gone.


	49. Chapter 49

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for leaving everyone on such a cliffhanger, I know that was a bit of a dick move, but I had to mentally prepare myself for the next few chapters. I don't want this story to be over, ya'll. I mean, we've probably got a dozen or so chapters to go before the REAL end, but still. I love this story, I love this game, and I love ya'll too much to let it go too soon.  
ALSO!! HOLY FUCK!! We reached 5,000+ hits on this story!! That's the most views I've ever gotten on any fic, I can't tell ya'll how much that means to me. I just about cried when I saw it.

Dave stared at the space where Sans had vanished from for a long moment, choking on the emotions that swamped through his head and threatened to drown him. His legs, which had been barely holding him up in the first place, finally gave out. He crumpled to his knees like a soda can, nearly pulling Karkat down with him, but the troll released his hand. Dave fell forward, catching himself on his hands, but his arms, too, quit on him, resulting in his forehead slamming into the tile. Pain burst through his skull from the point of contact, the sudden pain helping to sweep back some of the tidal wave. He gasped in air like he hadn't been breathing; part of him realized that, in fact, he'd been doing no such a thing. His breath had caught in his lungs and he hadn't had the strength to let it out.

Distantly, he heard Karkat's footsteps retreat, back towards the Save. He managed to gather enough strength to push himself up and look over his shoulder, and saw Karkat switching things in and out of their Items. When the troll had it how he liked it, he Saved again, before walking back to Dave. Sitting up a little more, Dave met Karkat's eyes; the troll's face was expressionless, and his eyes were guarded.

"Karks?" Dave croaked as Karkat stopped and crouched in front of him. Karkat reached up, cupping Dave's face in his hands. He swiped his thumbs slowly across Dave's cheeks, collecting the salty soak that covered them, and flicking it away.

"I'm here. You gotta get up, Dave. We've gotta finish this." Karkat whispered.

"I don't want to." Dave rasped, "I'm... I'm fucking scared, Karks." Karkat nodded in understanding.

"I know." He murmured, reaching up to brush Dave's bangs back, his claws scratching pleasantly across Dave's scalp. "I know, but we don't have a choice."

Dave blinked. "You're- how the fuck are _you_ not scared?" He whispered. Karkat laughed quietly.

"Because I'm fucking _terrified_." He admitted, "But we've faced far fucking worse things than a king, Dave. We've gone through so fucking much, at this point terror is the closest thing I've got to bravery. Plus..." He cupped Dave's face again, leaning forward to bonk his forehead against Dave's; silver eyes stared into ruby orbs, neither of them blinking, "I've got you." Karkat breathed, "We've faced everything together before, and that's not stopping now." He tilted his chin up, just enough that his lips brushed against Dave's.

Dave squeezed his eyes shut and took a shaky breath; Karkat grounded him back into himself, into reality, better than anyone ever could. The drowning feeling receded, until he felt like he was wading through everything instead of suffocating. With shaky fingers, he reached up and gripped Karkat's hands, turning his head to press his lips against Karkat's palm.

"I've got you, too. I'm- yeah." Dave mumbled. Karkat smiled softly.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." Dave snorted. A rusty purr started in Karkat's chest. Releasing Dave's hands, he pulled the Strider forward and enveloped him in a hug. Dave instantly wrapped his arms around him in return, his grip like a vice as he clung to the troll. He buried his face in Karkat's shoulder, his fingers digging into the mutant's thick sweater.

Keeping a hold on him, Karkat slowly stood up, pulling the Strider to his feet. Taking another deep breath, Dave nodded, and allowed Karkat to pull away. Karkat took his hand and locked their fingers together, before he turned lead him down the hall.

His legs still felt weak, and every step was taken with reluctance, but Dave forced himself to keep going. Karkat is with me, Karkat is with me, he chanted over and over in his mind, keeping his eyes trained on the back of his boyfriend's head. He was safe with Karkat; he knew that better than anyone. He tightened his grip on the troll's hand.

Finally, they reached the end of the hall. To their left was a single archway, which lead upwards on a staircase. Karkat only hesitated a moment, before he was climbing them with Dave in tow.

The landing they arrived on was just as grey as the rest of the house had been. Their footsteps were much too loud as they walked down it, until it took a right turn. Following the curve, the wall to their left suddenly became bare brick instead of plaster. There was another archway here, with a sign next to it:

**"Throne Room."**

Next to the arched doorway was a second Save Point. Beyond that, the hall took another right turn. Karkat stepped forward and activated the Save, glancing at the archway as he did so. Uncertainty shone in the troll's eyes, and he turned on his heel, heading for the end of the corridor. Dave didn't argue, silently following him around the corner.

At the end of the hall, they found a long, descending staircase, which they quietly marched down, only to come face to face with a pair of iron doors. Karkat reached out and tried the handle.

The doors pushed open with a shrill squeal that made both boys cringe. They quickly stepped inside, and froze. The lighting in the room was dim and gloomy, but they could definitely make out what was laid before them.

Coffins.

Seven coffins, each with a different name and colored heart engraved on the lids. It was too dark to make out the other names; the coffins looked old, anyway, their names faded. But the nearest one looked new, with a red colored heart and newly engraved name still clear as day:

**"Karkat."**

The lid was open slightly, showing an empty case.

Empty, and waiting.

A cold thrill of fear shot through Dave, at the same time his stomach fell out like he was on a roller coaster. He barely dared to look at Karkat, watching him out of the corner of his eye. But the troll's eyes were once again hard, his face set and firm. He must have felt Dave's gaze, because he looked up at the blonde.

"... Seems a bit pompous to make a coffin when I haven't fucking died yet, doesn't it?" The troll asked. Just like that, the tension broke, and Dave laughed despite himself.

"Yeah, I guess so." He agreed, a warm relief sweeping through his chest. Karkat forcefully turned away from the coffin and headed for the door.

"Let's go find this cocky asshole, then." Karkat huffed.

Back up the stairs and around the corner, they were back in front of the arched doorway.

Karkat's step faltered here, but he drew himself up, squared his shoulders, and marched forward. Dave copied him, trying to at least _look_ braver than he felt, and followed.

They emerged into a giant room, full of dappled light. The sounds of bird chirps and insect calls filled their ears. Something crunched below their feet' looking down, the boys saw the ground covered in overgrown grasses and vines. Edging further inside, Dave saw the center of the room was a garden full of golden flowers; the only clear space among them was near the back of the room, where an old throne sat. There was a second throne, tucked in the right corner with a white sheet thrown over it; in the left corner was another archway, and between them sat yet another Save Point. The smell of the flowers was thick and heavy, filling Dave's lungs until he was sure the plants would blossom in his chest.

Standing among the aureate blooms, was a hulking, huge figure, who was humming softly to himself as he meticulously and slowly swung his arm back and forth; the hush hiss of water undercutting the birdsong as it tumbled from his watering can.

All Dave could see of the king- for he had no doubt that's who it was- was a pair of large, curled horns, a spool of golden fur that rolled down his neck, and wide shoulders, draped over with a violet cape.

"Dum dee dum..." Asgore murmured. Seeming to sense their presence, he said over his shoulder, "Oh? Is someone there? Just a moment! I have almost finished watering the flowers." His voice was a deep, rich baritone that sounded like it came directly from his chest. Dave's mouth dried up, robbing him of the ability to speak. Finally, the hiss of the water stopped, and the king set down his can. "Here we are!" He rumbled cheerily, before he dusted off his hands and turned around.

The shock that shot through Dave was paralyzing; he felt like he couldn't move, his mind suddenly adjacent to himself.

Asgore was a goat. He had the same floppy ears, thick, white fur, and kind, brown eyes as Toriel had. Golden fur lined his face and jaw, creating a thick, handsome beard of blonde curls. His clothing was hidden beneath the cape, which wrapped around him like a blanket. Gold pauldrons jutted from his shoulders, linked together by a runic chain; it looked like the Angel, from the Delta Rune. Upon his brow was a small, golden crown, with a single red ruby in the center.

If- if Asgore was a goat, and he was the king, then- then- Dave's mind stuttered and stalled as several pieces of his tormentous puzzle suddenly slot together at once. Karkat had gone stiff beside him as the troll put together his own answers. Unaware of their inner panics, Asgore smiled widely as he looked up at them.

"Howdy! How can I-" He began, before his voice faltered. He looked between the two of them, blinking, before he suddenly took several steps back. His face fell into something akin to almost anguish. "... Oh." He swallowed heavily, looking down at his feet. He knotted his thick paws together, looking back up at them. "I so badly want to say, "Would you like a cup of tea?" But... you know how it is." He took a shaky breath. Turning to his right, he took several paces away, before he looked back at them.

"... Nice day today, huh? Birds are singing, flowers are blooming... Perfect weather for a game of catch." He rumbled, refusing to look them in the eyes, "..." He turned his head away, closing his eyes, "You know what we must do. When you are ready, come into the next room." He said softly. Turning on his heel, he walked heavily towards the far door and disappeared inside.

Dave and Karkat looked at one another.

"He's..." Dave tried to say, but the words died in his throat. "T- Toriel must be..." He tried again, but he couldn't make himself produce further sound. Karkat only nodded. Gathering himself, the troll marched on unsteady legs towards the door, activating the Save on the way.

They stepped into a dark corridor, with only a single light illuminating the king, who was waiting for them.

"How tense..." Asgore murmured, watching them from the corner of his eye, "Just think of it like... a visit to the dentist." He turned the corner and kept walking.

"Dentists don't try to rip your fucking Soul out." Karkat muttered darkly.

"I dunno, you ever been to a dentist?" Dave mumbled back, somehow finding the smallest glimmer of amusement within himself.

Ahead, the king had stopped again, before an ornate, marble passage; engraved above the door was the Delta Rune. Here, too, was another Save Point, and Asgore stopped beside it. Dave heard him take a deep breath.

"Are you ready?" He asked without turning around, "If you are not, I understand. I am not ready, either." So saying, he ducked through the marble arch. Karkat reached out for the Save to activate it, and a text box suddenly appeared above it, reading simply:

**"The End."**

Before they were surrounded in the golden light. The Save Points hadn't "spoken" since the very first one, Dave recalled as his guts proceeded to twist themselves into a thousand knots. The very first one that Toriel had been there for. That had first surrounded them in the glimmering light. That had simply told them, "**Determination**."

Now, more than ever, he needed that, he thought. He looked at Karkat, who looked back at him.

"Dave?" The troll whispered.

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

Nothing Karkat could have said could have ripped Dave's heart to shreds more precisely than those three words did.

"I love you, too." He managed to croak. Karkat's fingers tightened their grips, and they stepped through the pathway.

Before them stretched... infinity. Dave could not comprehend what he was seeing. Well, he could grasp that the thing before him was a _wall- _so not, technically, infinity- and that it was lit up, but other than that, nothing else would register. The overwhelming feeling of magic pulsed through the air like the thunderous- yet silent- booming heartbeat of an incomprehensible beast. The wall before him writhed like the living flesh of said beast, shuddering and heaving with every great breath it took. Among the light that zoomed and collected into an finite, infinite darkness, he saw-

He saw his own power, that had been sapped the moment they'd crossed into the underground. The sign that blazoned upon his chest in his God Tier outfit, the ticking time gear that meant so much to him, that had brought them here in the first place- the image of the red cog flashed among the pulses and breaths.

"This is the barrier." Asgore said, his voice no longer powerful and deep, but small and awed. Dave blinked; he'd barely noticed the figure of the king standing right in front of him. "This is what keeps us all trapped underground. ... If... If by chance you have any unfinished business... please do what you must."

They had so, so much unfinished business, Dave thought with a wrenching sensation in his chest, but if he walked away now, he'd never come back. Karkat knew it, too.

"We're ready." He said, his voice as firm as the grip on Dave's hand.

"... I see. This is it, then." The king slowly turned to face them. "Ready?"

A small wave of his hand, and jars suddenly emerged from- seemingly- the barrier; where floor met wall was a blurred line. There were seven of them in all, and inside six... were Souls. The seventh stood empty. Waiting.

Karkat released Dave's hand and stepped forward, and it took everything Dave had to hold himself back from scrambling to fit Karkat's fingers back where they belonged- between his own. Instead, he dragged himself back to the wall to give Karkat space.

As his Soul flew forth and his option boxes shimmered to life, Asgore met the troll's gaze.

"Human..." He said softly, his voice contrite, "It was nice to meet you. ... Goodbye."

Suddenly, his arm flung out from under his cape. Gripped in his massive hand was a bright, blood red trident- which was something that brought unwanted and horrific flashbacks to Dave's mind-, and he rolled it over his wrist, adjusted his grip on it, and lunged forward.

The prongs speared through Karkat's Mercy box.

The box exploded into a burst of light, and vanished.

"No!" Karkat cried out, stunned, as the king stood up straight and flung back his cloak. Below his cape, he wore a full vestment of golden armor that shimmered in the light of the barrier.

Karkat stared at where his Mercy box had just been. Blood began roaring through his head like it never had before, the adrenaline that screamed through his veins stronger than any drug. For the first time in a long time, Karkat Vantas, a boy who'd gone through so much crap, taken so much shit, and thought he'd finally found peace, felt alive. Truly, utterly _alive_, like every cell in his disgusting, mutant, freakish body was howling for action.

This was not like the fight with the Condescension, with Lord English, with Jack, Papyrus, or even Undyne- and he knew it. This was not a battle he could run from, or rely on others for. This was a fight, a _war, _waged between only two people, and he was right in the thick of the gunfire. The dagger on his hip seemed to burn against his thigh, and oh, how his hands ached for the handles of his sickles.

Lo and behold, as he reached for the blade and pulled it from his belt, he felt it quiver. Looking down at it, he saw the iron twist and writhe like a coiling snake, into the crescent-moon shape he knew so well. Instead of the pink and lime stripes that had lined the curve of his blade, a single stripe of _red_ shot down the center of the black iron.

He slowly pulled his eyes away from the weapon, and up to the king, who was watching, waiting for his move. Like every time before, Karkat hit Check:

_Asgore- 80 ATK 80 DEF_

Asgore gripped his trident before him, the prongs pointed towards the floor. Releasing it with one hand, he waved said hand through the air like he was swatting a fly. Bright blue flames burst from his fingertips and crackled as they soared towards Karkat.

The troll leaped back, his lips peeling back in a snarl, but not fast enough. Azure fire caught his sleeve and raced up his arm, making him shriek as it seared his flesh. Slapping the flames out quickly, he saw his HP had fallen to 15. His only other option besides Check was Talk, and he slammed his palm against it.

"I don't want to fight you, Asgore!" He bellowed.

Asgore's hands trembled, and he bowed his head, but he did not answer. Instead, he raised a hand into the air, and called forth a spiral of flames that whirled towards Karkat in a vortex. Karkat threw himself to the side, but the maelstrom followed, attempting to swallow him. Flames ripped across his clothing once again, and horrifically, his HP hit 5 as he dropped to the ground and writhed to put them out.

Reaching for his Items, he examined the options he'd brought:

-Instant Noodles   
-Unisicle   
-Hot Dog   
-Junk Food   
-Glamburger   
-Abandoned Quiche   
-Butterscotch-Cinnamon Pie   
-Nice Cream

He pulled out the Unisicle and devoured it, watching his HP jump by 11. A storm of fire came for him next, and he managed to throw himself sideways fast enough to avoid the oncoming blows.

If talking wouldn't work, and he had no Mercy option- Karkat's heart leaped into his throat as his eyes were drawn to the Fight option. The one he'd never touched, no matter how badly he wanted to. The only option left to him. Steeling himself against the emotions erupting in his stomach, he pressed Fight.

Before Asgore could brace himself, Karkat lunged, slashing his ebony sickle in an arc across his body. The tip of the blade screamed off Asgore's breast plate, puncturing it. Above Asgore's head, the biggest health bar Karkat had ever seen appeared. It dropped by _105_, but that was barely a dent in the giant bar.

Asgore didn't make a sound as he retaliated, swinging his trident towards Karkat's head. At the last moment, Karkat saw the prongs blink two colors- orange, then blue. Eyes bright with understanding, Karkat stepped into the first swing, then froze as the rebound came; both swings passed through him like he wasn't even there.

Karkat punched Fight again and threw himself into the fray, his sickle once more raking across the king's armor. 123 damage, and still the bar barely shrank.

Asgore's move came in the form of another fire storm, one that Karkat was too close to avoid. His HP fell to 1, and he reached for his Items. He snatched the Instant Noodles and ripped the package open with his teeth, shoving the dry, crunchy noodles into his mouth. His HP maxed back out, just in time for rings of fire to come around for him.

He leaped through the middle of each of them, a laugh bursting from his lips as the mental image of a lion in a circus came to mind. The laughter seemed to elevate the battling fury that buzzed down his spine, and he was suddenly eager to punch Fight and launch forward. Whirling the blade in his grip so it was upside down, he flung himself sideways, so his blade screamed across the king's chest before he twisted out of range.

122 damage, and Asgore returned the favor with a hail of giant fireballs. Karkat dodged all but one of them. That one struck him square in the chest, knocking him to the ground. He screamed reflexively, but the adrenaline that had consumed him kept the pain at bay as he rolled over to smother the flames. His HP fell to 10, but he was back on his feet and hitting Fight, throwing himself forward to strike. Another 100 damage, and he jumped back.

Asgore once more swung with the trident, which again blinked an array of colors just before making contact. Karkat followed their order, and was left unharmed. Boldly, he pressed Fight and charged.

Again and again, Karkat and Asgore exchanged blows. Karkat attacked with everything he had; at some point, he realized he was screaming an endless tirade of obscenities that fell on deaf ears- both the king's and his own. Karkat's HP fell dangerously low many times, but he grabbed an Item and swallowed it before launching right back into the battle. Bit by bit, Asgore's HP shrank. As Karkat rolled away from another attack, his face drenched in sweat and his chest heaving, the rush in his ears was suddenly cut through by Dave's voice.

Whirling around to look, he saw Dave against the wall, the Strider's face red and wet, but his fists clenched as he cried out for his boyfriend's victory. Whatever he was saying didn't reach the part of Karkat's head that processed words, but he _felt_ what was being screamed at him. A new passion ignited the one that had begun to die from exhaustion, and the troll turned back to the fight before him and hounded forward for another strike.

Another exchange of blows later, Karkat was on his knees, his HP fallen to 1. He reached out and pulled the slice of Butterscotch-Cinnamon Pie from his Items. It was still warm and steaming, the smell of sweetness filling the air. Asgore's head snapped up as the smell reached his nostrils. His pupils dilated into slivers, and an anguished expression passed over his face before he bowed his head again and lunged. Karkat had just enough time to shove the slice of pie into his mouth before he bound away.

Several Fights later, Karkat found Asgore's HP was below half, but his Items were nearly completely out. Sucking air through his fangs, he Fought. His blows were suddenly doing 200 damage, and more, Asgore's HP falling faster than before. His attacks seemed to be slowing, too. Hope daring to glimmer in his chest, Karkat spun away from the chaos and fire to retaliate.

And suddenly, finally, one of his blows did a whopping _600_ damage.

Asgore's HP fell nearly to zero, and the king fell to his knee, dropping his trident and clutching his armor, where the metal had ripped and begun to splinter.

"... Ah." He said at last, "... So that is how it is." He bowed his head for a moment, and Karkat stood, frozen, waiting. "... I remember the day after my son died." Asgore said finally, softly, "The entire underground was devoid of hope. The future had once again been taken from us by the humans. In a fit of anger, I declared war. I said that I would destroy any human that came here. I would use their Souls to become godlike... and free us from this terrible prison. Then, I would destroy humanity, and let monsters rule the surface, in peace. Soon, the people's hopes returned. My wife, however, became disgusted with my actions. She left this place, never to be seen again." He raised his head slightly, opening his eyes.

"Truthfully... I do not want power." He said quietly, "I do not want to hurt anyone. I just... wanted everyone to have hope. But... I cannot take this any longer. I just want to see my wife. I just want to see my child. Please, young one, this war has gone on long enough. You have the power..." He shuffled forward slightly on his knees, his eyes boring into Karkat's, "Take my Soul, and leave this cursed place." He whispered.

Karkat opened his mouth to speak, when two option boxes appeared before him. He was offered Fight, and a splintered, but put back together, Mercy.

Karkat's fingers trembled as he reached out, and pressed the right choice.

His Soul suddenly faded, as did the boxes. Asgore bowed his head.

"... After everything I have done to hurt you... you would rather stay down here and suffer... Than live happily on the surface?" Asgore rasped.

"No. I want out of this hellish fucking nightmare. But... I am not a killer. I never have been, no matter what I pretend. I don't care how long it takes, Dave and I promised to Save you all, and I plan to do that without losing any more lives." Karkat said quietly. Asgore blinked, before a sad, exhausted smile fell across his face.

"... Human. I promise you, for as long as you remain here, my wife and I will take care of you as best we can. Both of you." He looked at Dave momentarily, "We can sit in the living room, telling stories, eating butterscotch pie... We could be like... like a _family_..." His eyes brightened at the thought.

Karkat was trying to think of what to say, when a ring of white, spinning, tiny pellets appeared around Asgore.

All three of them froze, surprised, before the ring suddenly constricted, and the pellets ripped through the king's armor and flesh like bullets. Dave and Karkat could only watch in silent, stunned horror.

Asgore blinked, almost like he was confused, before his body suddenly disintegrated. From the top of his horns and downwards, he collapsed into dust. The only thing that was left was a pure white, glowing, Soul, that trembled in the air.

A final pellet appeared, and shot through the shaking heart. It, too, exploded into dust.

Karkat and Dave, too frozen to move or think or react, could only watch as the dust settled.

And from the dust, a very familiar, horrifying figure emerged:

**Flowey.**

"You _idiot_." The rabid plant snarled, "You haven't learned a thing. In this world..." Karkat flinched as something whizzed by his head. Jerking around, he saw the jars that had contained the Souls had been ripped open, and the Souls were now swirling around Flowey, rapidly spinning faster as the flower's face twisted into something beyond demented.

_"IT'S KILL OR BE KILLED!!_" Flowey shrieked with glee, cackling madly as the Souls poured into him.

That was the last thing Karkat saw before the lights went out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy 6/12.


	50. Chapter 50

Long ago, two races ruled over Earth C: HUMANS and MONSTERS.  
One day, _they all disappeared without a trace._

Karkat's eyes snapped open, and he was greeted with darkness. An all consuming, nearly palpable black. The dead silence only made it seem darker. Slowly, he willed himself to sit up and look around. Darkness, in every direction. As he rose to his feet, a sharp clattering sound under him made him look down. Bending over, he felt around, and found the handle of his black sickle. As he gripped it firmly in his hand, memories flooded back.

Asgore.

Flowey.

"Dave?" He called out into the shadows. His voice was too loud, much too loud, echoing off of the thick night. His heart was jumping between his throat and chest as he took a few wavering steps forward. "Dave?" He whispered.

"Karkat?" A voice cried out ahead of him.

"Dave!" Karkat was suddenly running, running blind, his throat tight with hope. "Dave, I'm here! Where are you!?" He reached out into the darkness, clawing for the reassuring feel of his matesprit's hand.

A light ahead of him suddenly burst into being, blinding after the darkness. Karkat stumbled back, shouting in surprise as he covered his eyes. When he dared to lower his hands, he saw a Save Point ahead of him. He edged towards it.

There was just enough light now that he could see himself, but the golden light did not reach any further. Hesitantly, he reached out to touch the Save. A box appeared above it as he did so:

**"The End."**

Before Karkat could even comprehend the words, a sound like a gunshot went off right in his ear. He threw himself backwards with a scream as the box suddenly fractured, red bleeding through the black. Again, and again, the red webbing growing bigger. Just before it shattered, another message appeared:

**"File erased."**

The box exploded into light.

When his vision returned, he found himself squinting at none other than Flowey.

Except Flowey was absolutely huge, and was only a head. Karkat backed up quickly, eyes wide, as the head rose into the air, watching his every move like a wolf watched a wounded rabbit.

"Howdy!" Flowey giggled, though his voice was savage, like his throat was raw and bloody, like his words were being pushed through a monster's maw. Flowey suddenly seemed to glitch, his face disappearing for a moment as the air around him was filled with white static, "It's me, Flowey." Flowey continued, before he stuck out his tongue, "Flowey the flower. I owe you a huge thanks! You really did a number on that old _fool_." He snarled, "Without you, I never could have gotten past him."

"Where's Dave?!" Karkat shouted, though his voice was weak; the air around him reverberated like trembling glass with every word Flowey said. Flowey didn't answer, as his face suddenly contorted. Asgore's face replaced his own, the king's expression one of an anxious smile.

"But now, with your help... He's _dead!_" Flowey continued through Asgore's mouth, as the king's eyes went black. Flowey's face returned, the flower's teeth bared in a murderous sneer, "And I've got the human Souls!" He glitched again, once, twice, before he giggled, deranged. "Boy! I've been empty for so long... It feels great to have a Soul inside me again! Mmm... I can feel them _wriggling_." He glitched.

Karkat backed away as Flowey looked at him almost sympathetically. "Aww, you're feeling left out, aren't you? Well, that's just perfect!" He stuck out his tongue again, "After all, I only have six Souls. Your David's Soul was too much of a fighter."

Out of the darkness, below Flowey's head, tumbled Dave. The knight fell where the Save Point had been, collapsing on his side. He was bleeding heavily from lacerated wounds across his chest, arms, and shoulders, and blood was pumping from somewhere on his head, the crimson ichor running down his face.

"Dave!" Karkat ran to him, dropping to his knees beside him. He pulled the Strider close, desperately listening for a heartbeat, for breath, for something- the relief that washed through him made him dizzy as Dave suddenly coughed, a weak hand grasping Karkat's sleeve.

"K... ark- kles..." Dave rasped as Karkat cradled him. Karkat glared up at Flowey.

"What did you do to him?!" He shouted. Flowey laughed madly.

"I thought it would work, taking his Soul. I would have been able to tear apart the world and barrier alike as I consumed yours!" Flowey snarled in an almost sing-song voice, "I've wanted your Soul from the very beginning, taking David's would have only been icing on the very bloody cake." He laughed again, almost giddy, "But David's Soul didn't like it when I tried to rip it out. It seems he and I are of a kind, with the powers we possess. So I'll settle for yours. After all, you are a God all your own, aren't you? What would happen if a flower consumed a God? Let's find out!" Flowey leered down at him, his eyes wide and bright with madness, "Before I, too, become a God!"

"And then, with my newfound powers," His face contorted, and Karkat was suddenly staring into Toriel's kind face, "Monsters," His face twisted again, and Karkat's breathing all but stopped as he saw several faces flash across Flowey's. John, Rose, Jade, Dave- "Humans," Dave's face suddenly melted, and he was looking into his own eyes, "Trolls," His face vanished, and Flowey's returned, "_Everyone! _I'll show them all the _real_ meaning of this world!"

Flowey's face became dark, with only his eyes, mouth, and petals glowing as he repeatedly glitched. Just as suddenly, his face returned, "Oh, and forget about escaping to your old Save File. It's gone forever." The demonic plant snarled, "But don't worry... Your old friend Flowey has worked out a replacement for you!"

His mouth suddenly opened wide, revealing a cavern full of needle-like, dagger teeth, as his eyes went black, "I'll Save over your own death! So you can watch me tear you to bloody pieces! Over, and _over_, AND OVER!" He was screaming now, his voice reverberating as if a thousand Floweys were speaking at once.

Karkat stared up at that monstrosity of a face. Something beyond fear, beyond terror, was rising in him, threatening to smother out whatever scrap of glimmering hope was left in his chest. His breathing was labored, quick, and short, as Flowey cackled.

A soft tug on his sleeve made him look down.

Dave had managed to raise his head, looking at him dazedly with the one eye that wasn't cemented shut by blood. He didn't say a word, but he didn't need to; Karkat read it in his eye.

The feeling within him began to disappear. It didn't go quickly, and a hard lump of it remained in his gut, but as he stared into that scarlet iris, the dying spark of hope flickered, reigniting into the smallest flame.

Swallowing past the tight knot in his throat, Karkat leaned down and pressed his lips to Dave's head, before he gently pushed the Strider away. He laid him down and stood up, feeling the sticky wetness where Dave's blood had soaked into his clothes as he moved. He stepped over his boyfriend's body, adjusting his grip and tightening his fingers around the handle of his blade. Flowey suddenly stopped laughing and looked down at him.

"What? Do you really think you can stop_ me?_ Hee hee hee... You really _are_ an idiot."

His face suddenly vanished, leaving them once again in the dark, until Karkat's Soul burst from his chest. Not moments later, six more Souls flickered to life in the night; the Souls Flowey had stolen. They spread out from where they'd appeared, and vanished into the shadows, as the blackness suddenly went red.

Red, all around Karkat, like he was standing in a fine mist of his own blood. It seemed to pulse in time with his heartbeat as he stood still, waiting.

Out of the red, shadows emerged.

Giant, black, grasping, clawed limbs, as thick around as boulders, were coming towards him. Looking around, Karkat saw Dave had managed to crawl away, towards safety. Turning back, Karkat saw the figure had approached further, revealing an outline of a giant head, gaping mandibles, and body parts unknown, seeming to drop from an indefinable ceiling. It almost looked like a spider, if that spider was a sick, demented horror with too many limbs, pulled straight out of a psychopath's nightmares.

Upon what he'd assumed was the beast's back, a white screen appeared, and within it, was Flowey's face. The flower's eyes went red as a disturbed smile crawled across his features.

The mist around Karkat faded, leaving him once more in the dark, as the screen lit up the monster in full. At the same time, Flowey began to laugh like he'd never laughed before.

Karkat might have screamed at the sight before him. He couldn't be sure; his very own thoughts were drowned out by the unholy laughter that rattled through his thinkpan.

It was not a spider he'd seen. It was an abomination. A- a thing, that had stared into the face of all the gods and _laughed_, before it ripped them into stardust.

Red-thorned vines as thick as tree trunks twisted and writhed through the air, securing the horror to whatever it was holding onto. The bulbous limbs were covered in thick, choking ivy vines that sliced into the fleshy epidermis of the bulging arms. The smell of rotting flesh, both repulsive and sweet at the same time, filled the air, until it seared itself into Karkat's nostrils. Before him, the dripping, mandible maw clacked its millions of razor teeth together as it shook with horrendous glee.

Pulsing, silver, steel veins connected the monstrous jaw to the screen above, where Flowey's face was writhing, the screen itself embedded in a mass of flesh; the veins pulsed and squirmed like organs ripped from a man's stomach. Eyes- four of them, by Karkat's count- bloodshot and wide, the pupils their own black holes. A pair of them sat on either side of the drooling mouth, as a second pair sat just below the screen; between them were slit like nostrils that constricted and widened with excited breaths.

Whatever body the thing had- if it had one at all- was obscured by the obscenely huge head, and the mass of waving vines. All Karkat could see were fleshy, pink-grey tubes that plugged into themselves, convulsing and throbbing sporadically like a rabid heartbeat of a cornered rat.

Karkat only had the minute the monster was laughing, before chaos erupted.

Later, he wouldn't be able to recall ever moving. There was so much noise, so much to look at, so much of _everything_\- his body reacted on its own. He was jumping away from fire, twisting to avoid stars, stumbling back to get away from the bullets, all while ducking the swiping claws of the beast. Blood roared through his ears just as much as it sprayed from his wounds. He was screaming, crying, bleeding, begging, for... something.

His health bar dropped faster and faster, his Soul itself seeming to grow dim. Just as he was ready for the final blow, one of the silver veins around the mandibles turned teal, and the screen turned black, with only a blue Soul and the word "**Warning**" flashing above it in red.

The monster's body twisted, seeming to draw into itself, until only the screen remained. From the curled body of the beast, rained a hell storm of knives that spun and danced in the air. Karkat danced with them, if only to avoid their blades. As he writhed, he saw a familiar box fall among the cutlasses; his Act box!

He ran for it, ignoring the weapons that ripped through his limbs. He slammed his hand into it, and a cry burst from his lips.

"Help me!"

Karkat squeezed his eyes shut as another blade came for him, and he braced for it to rip him through. But he only felt warmth. A warmth like he's stepped into a warm bath, or had crawled into freshly laundered sheets, or he was enveloped by a loved one's embrace. When he opened his eyes, he saw the knives had changed to green-glowing bandages that were soaring towards him. Wherever they touched him, his wounds healed over, his blood vanished from his clothes, and a rejuvenating energy filled him. 

He stood there, shocked, but let them in.

Just as suddenly as they appeared, though, the bandages were gone, and the beast above him uncurled once more.

Again, his body took over, and he was bounding away from ricocheting vines with fucking gnashing _mouths_ on their ends, running from flies the size of cats that poured from the monster's maw, whirling away from flytraps that sprung up from the ground and attempted to swallow him, and scrambling to get away from gigantic bombs that dropped from the monster's eyes like explosive tears. Vines with thorns the size of swords chased after him all the while, slamming into the ground so hard they burrowed into the stone.

He was ripped apart, sent sprawling on his hands and knees as his blood gushed from his wounds. He struggled to sit up, and looked up at a flashing light above. He saw the warning sign once more flashing on the screen with the orange Soul below it, as another silver vein pulsed the same color. The beast trembled, once more curling up, as pores along its back opened and rained down literal gauntlets.

Struggling to rise, Karkat threw himself away from the maelstrom, looking around desperately, hoping for- there! Among the iron gloves, was his Act box. He hurled himself towards it and punched it with all his might.

"Save me, somebody!" He sobbed, his vision blurry.

The gauntlets around him vanished. Pink, green-glowing, woolen gloves fell instead. Just like the bandages, as they touched him, he healed. He ran among them, desperate to grab as many as he could. He had a feeling fill him then, like he'd just stepped into his house after being out in the snow. Like he'd entered his bedroom and collapsed on the bed, relieved to be alone and safe. Like he'd finally gotten to sit down after hours of running, and could finally catch his breath.

They were gone too soon, his health only barely recovered, before the horrible creature uncurled once again. He couldn't be sure, but it looked pained, the screen featuring an agonized face, like it was being tortured.

Back into the hellscape he was thrown, dodging stars and vines. As he leaped away from one, he felt his body spasm, and suddenly he was back to where he'd just been moment's ago. He froze, alarmed, but had no time to process what just happened as more vines charged him. Again, it happened, as he was running from the stars- his body seemed to freak out, and he was standing several feet back from where he'd just been.

"What the fuck is happening?!" He shouted. In response, a third silver vein began to pulse a deep blue, as the warning overtook the tortured face on the monster's screen. This time, it seemed to be fighting to stay, but its body still curled up on itself. From the palms of its monstrous limbs burst van-sized ballet shoes, that struck the ground so hard it shook, throwing Karkat off balance.

They bounced towards him, leaving craters in the ground as stars burst from the point of contact. Karkat sprinted away, only to stop. He had to find the Act box, he told himself. Gritting his teeth, he turned and ran back, among the humongous shoes, searching.

There! Just as he was losing hope that it wouldn't appear, his Act box dropped from one of the shoes. He slammed into it, and the shoes vanished.

"Please-" he gasped.

The stars that had been conjured by their stomping steps turned to hazy green music notes and he ran among them. Each time he touched one, a gentle note played, throwing his mind into unwanted memories; memories of him and Dave, standing before a hunched over statue that jealously guarded a music box. The safe feeling of being securely inside during a thunderstorm suddenly seemed to weave through him. The sensation of closing a book that had taken him on a fantastical journey, and the longing to experience it again, anew. They filled his chest until he almost felt sleepy, but the twin tortures of adrenaline and fear that twisted through his guts kept him wide awake.

The notes vanished with a sour twang, and the gargantuan demon unraveled eagerly. The eyes- there was something different about the eyes. They seemed foggy, almost blind, as the face on the screen spasmed and thrashed, mouth agape in silent screams. Stars poured from the eyes of the monster as it roared with fury.

Karkat flung himself away, begging his battered and aching body to hold out for the next Soul, when a box appeared next to him: Fight.

Eyes wide, he hit it, and he whirled to look. An absolutely humongous health bar had appeared, and was only cut down by 16, barely a sliver of health stripped away. He had no time to revel in this small victory as he was forced to avoid more stars, more flies, more flytraps, more bombs- and now more of those tangled, mangled limbs appeared, aimed for Karkat, and fired their own fingers at him like bullets.

Too much, it was all just too much- it overwhelmed Karkat no matter how hard he dodged or ran.

One of the stars slammed into his chest.

His HP hit 0.

His vision went black.

There he was, suspended in darkness, sure he was dead, sure Flowey had won, when a voice whispered in his head.

"This is all just a bad dream..." It murmured, soothing and soft and kind.

"AND YOU'RE NEVER WAKING UP!" A screeching, horrendous, mocking and loud voice screamed back.

Karkat found himself back on the ground, back before the twisted demon that had been- or still was?- Flowey.

"Hee hee hee... Did you really think I was going to be satisfied, killing you only _one_ time?" Flowey shrieked, before his onslaught began anew.

More bombs, more flies, more pellet-bullets, more vines, and Karkat was back in the thick of the battle, unable to even catch his breath or process what was happening. No time to pause, no time to stop, he jumped and twisted like a performer on a stage before a sick audience as he was ripped to pieces. His Fight box appeared again and, again, he hit it, but Flowey's health only fell by 14.

The bullet fingers reappeared and sent Karkat sprawling to the ground to avoid them. At the same time, the mandible maw began to glow. Karkat, who was right below it, only had moments to scramble to his feet and run before a bright white blast of pure energy struck where he'd just been, obliterating the ground below. It didn't follow him, but the stars that fell from the beast's eyes sure did. As did the flies and flytraps.

Just as he was getting ready to give up hope, his whole body one big wound, his clothes soaked with gore and blood, his HP bar all but zero, one of the tube-like veins began to pulse purple, and the warning sign flashed. The monster bellowed as it fought itself, but it still curled up after a minute's fight.

Like puss from a wound, a storm of papers were spat out between the vines that encapsulated the vile beast's body. They swirled around Karkat like a tornado, the words upon them peeling off their surface and hailing towards him like arrows.

"Nightmare", "Hatred", "Horror", "Terror", "Fear", "Destroy", "Ruin", "Trapped", "Slaughter", and so many more words whizzed towards him, their letters the size of Karkat's torso.

Finally, from one, came his Act box. He reached through the storm and hit it.

"Help-" Was all he could choke through the blood in his throat.

The paper storm suddenly slowed, and the words turned green.

"Dreams", "Mercy", "Kindness", "Relief", "Dreamer", "Calm", "Peace"- these words floated by him like feathers, and Karkat snatched at each one. The sensation that consumed him was like that of the weight of a beloved pet, laying on his chest early in the morning. It was like the sound of the sea gently washing through his head as he walked along the shore at sundown, and like the feeling of waking up in the morning, knowing hot coffee and toast was waiting for him.

The horrendous nightmare was slower to uncurl, like every movement of its own body pained it so. Karkat had time to take a breath before he dove among the fray.

Vines and stars came after him like furious wasps. Again, as he dodged, his body would suddenly be where he'd already been, like he'd been thrown back without ever being touched. Still, he had no time to wonder, caught in the fury and fight.

The assult seemed much shorter than the others, though, the agonized face on the beast's screen crying and contorting with suffering. Only a few minutes passed, and a new warning was flashing as a silver-tube vein pulsed green.

The monster wrapped itself back up. As it did so, it spat out several objects from its maw; giant frying pans, the size of king-sized beds. From within them burst storms of molten rock and fire that hailed down towards Karkat. The troll flung himself away from the suffocating heat, his skin prickling and blistering just from being near the white-hot flames.

From one of the pans, he saw his Act box get tossed out. Dodging the burning rock and crackling fire, he hit it.

"Come on, please-" He begged, blinking as the moisture in his eyes evaporated.

The flame and rock vanished, and instead, out of the pans, came dozens of miniature, green glowing treats. Karkat only needed to touch them, and the taste of sweetness and cream sang on his tongue. His HP bar rapidly climbed again as he was wrapped in welcoming sensations. No longer did he feel heat, but a lovely coolness, like he'd dipped his feet into a lake during the summer. Like he was dozing under the shade of a weeping willow tree with a good book open on his chest, or like he'd just stepped into a quiet coffee shop to avoid the sweltering fever of a busy city.

His health returned in full, as did a revitalizing energy within him. Just in time, too, for the pans vanished and the monster uncoiled, it's maw dripping with drool and blood. A deep, dark hatred shone in its eyes as it attacked. Stars, bullets, fire, bombs, finger bullets- they were only the beginning as Karkat managed to reach his Fight box that appeared. He didn't even get to see how far Flowey's HP fell, too busy avoiding the onrush of horrors. He was sobbing, his arms and chest ripped through by bullets, his legs scorched and back lacerated, his HP nearing its end as he struggled to even _crawl_ away-

The final, veiny, silver tube began to pulse yellow as the warning sign flashed.

Karkat couldn't even see past the tears in his eyes, barely registering the monster shrinking away. He tried to rise, but he didn't have the strength. He lay there as the beast's back split open, revealing a cannon-sized pistol, that aimed right for him. A red laser light locked on him, and it was all he could do to roll away. Bullets the size of cannonballs slammed into the ground. Terror burst through Karkat's head, giving him enough strength to get to his feet and drag his battered corpse around.

Finally, the gun belched out his Act button, and he hit it.

"... Please..." He whispered, tears sliding down his cheeks. The pistol shook, before it began firing four-leafed, green-gleaming clovers. The red targets turned into hearts, and Karkat threw himself on top of them, hiccuping with relief as he was healed. He fell to his knees, shaking and exhausted, his mind feeling like sludge, and he was grateful to embrace the sensations that consumed him.

The feeling of dew-wet grass brushing his bare feet as he wandered through a sun-dappled forest, the sense of his favorite love song coming unexpectedly on the radio as he tidied the living room, and the feeling of clinging to another body in the dark, half woken from a dream he couldn't remember, before falling back into the comfort of sleep.

Life, his mind supplied for him, all these things he could picture as he was restored, were life. Little moments that meant nothing, yet everything and something. They were but the smallest points on the list of things he was fighting for.

Taking a deep breath, Karkat spat the blood out of his mouth and got to his feet.

He looked up, and expected to see the monster uncurling from its ball. Instead, he only saw the screen embedded in its flesh, which was glowing with all six of the Souls. As one, they came _out_ of the screen and descended, circling him slowly. He reached out, trying to touch them, but his hand passed right through them. The Souls began to fling their healing items towards him and he, still in the middle, was all too happy to accept them. Clovers, bandages, music notes, positive words, fuzzy gloves, and sweets- they converged upon him and filled his HP bar.

They suddenly drifted away as the beast above shifted and uncurled. Karkat jumped back, jolted out of his moment of respite, and saw a box briefly appear before him:

**"Flowey's defense dropped to 0!"**

The monster was shaking as it flung its star attacks; but the stars were slower, and Karkat merely had to sidestep them as his Fight box appeared. He hit it, and his jaw dropped as Flowey's health fell by hundreds. Again and again his Fight box popped up, and he hit it every time. He didn't know how he was hurting Flowey- he'd dropped his sickle when the battle began, and didn't know where it was at this point- but he wasn't going to question it.

Each time one of the stars struck him, one of the Souls' healing items appeared from the dark for him. Even as the beast used fire and bombs and vines, Karkat ran through the attacks to reach his Fight option and grasp at the healing items.

He didn't know how long he was fighting. It could have been minutes, hours, hell, even _days _as Flowey's HP fell steadily. He had no time to process anything but the Fight box, the attacks, and the health items. He felt no pain, felt no exhaustion or grief. Only a battle fury and hope that it would soon be over.

Pellets, flies, flytraps, mouth-vines, bullet fingers- all countered with clovers, music notes, sweets, bandages. Karkat's HP fell again and again, but the Souls never let it hit 0. Flowey's on the other hand, dropped more and more and more.

Until finally, finally, _finally_\- the bar drained completely.

Flowey's HP hit 0.

The attacks stopped as the screen glitched and contorted.

"No... NOOO!!" Flowey's monstrous voice threatened to burst Karkat's eardrums as he screamed, "This can't be happening!!! You... _You_...!" Karkat licked his lips, and dared to let a small smile pull on his face, before-

Karkat's body did something. He wasn't sure what. It felt like something exploded and imploded inside him at the same time, yet it was painless. He blinked, and looked up to see Flowey's HP had refilled completely, the monster smirking at him cruelly.

"You _IDIOT_." He spat, before his mandibles opened up, the white energy gathering in its throat.

Karkat had no time to run.

Bang. The energy struck him, and his HP hit 0. His Soul broke, ready to shatter, he was consumed with agony and-

He was back. He was fine, and whole, and his HP bar was full.

Only for another energy blast to rip him apart again.

It was then he realized what was happening; Flowey was true to his word. He's Saved over Karkat's death, Saved over their battle. And he was reloading it again and again and again.

Karkat was ripped apart, blown apart, torn to pieces- only to come back. The pain was there for a single, burning second, before it was replaced with a new, more horrendous pain. He lost count of how many times it happened, unable to even begin counting in the first place. All there was, was pain. Until one attack left him with only 1 HP. He fell to his knees as Flowey surrounded him with his pellet-bullets, just as he had done in the Ruins.

"Hee hee hee... Did you _really_ think you could defeat me?! _I_ am the _God_ of this world, not you! You? You're _hopeless_. Hopeless and alone. Not even David can save you now." Flowey thundered, cackling like a madman, before he seemed to collect himself, "Golly. that's right. Your worthless friends-" His face contorted into Toriel's again, "can't save you now." His face returned to normal, his expression one of mocking disdain.

"Call for help. I dare you." He sneered, "Cry into the darkness! "Mommy! Daddy! Somebody help!"" His voice became high and childlike for a moment, "See what good it does you!" He spat furiously a moment later.

Karkat didn't think he could even get enough air in his lungs to whimper, let alone cry out, but he did it all the same. He called for the one person he knew would never let him down, never leave his side, never abandon him or leave him alone.

He waited.

Flowey waited.

_"But nobody came."_ The flower hissed after a moment's pause, "Boy! What a shame! Nobody else is gonna get to see you die!!" He began to laugh again, high and cruel, as his pellets withdrew in preparation to rip him through. Tears brimmed in Karkat's eyes and he hung his head. He was... defeated, and he knew it. He squeezed his eyes shut, and braced for the end.

But no such end came. A burst of light surrounded him, and he looked up sharply.

His HP had been refilled, and the pellets had vanished.

"What?" Flowey froze mid laugh, just as stunned as Karkat, "How'd you...? ... Well, I'll just-" Flowey frowned, before his whole form went stiff with shock, "Wh... Where are my powers?" He hissed.

Out of the darkness came six bursts of light. The Souls had returned! They wrapped around Karkat almost protectively, and Flowey stared at them, stunned.

"The- the Souls? What are they doing?" He demanded, before all six Souls suddenly flew at him... and exploded.

Bright bursts of light and colors filled the darkness around them, as Flowey's body was blown apart. Karkat stared, awed and horrified and dumbfounded all at once, only to nearly leap out of his skin as he felt someone touch his shoulder. He looked up sharply.

Right into the face of a smirking Dave.

Before either of them could speak, Flowey began to howl.

"NO!! NOO!! YOU CAN'T DO THAT!! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO OBEY ME!! STOP!! STOP IT!! STOOOOPPP!!!" He wailed in his horrendous, overlapping, grating, booming voice. Karkat rose unsteadily to his feet, gripping Dave's shoulder for support, as the world around them went white.

...

When the light faded, they were back in the darkness, only this time, it didn't feel so dark.

Before them, bent over like he was wilting, trembling with pain, was Flowey, back to nothing more than a flower, his petals drooping and covering his face.

Karkat blinked, and a pair of option boxes appeared:

Fight, or Mercy.

Karkat stared at those boxes for moments on end; moments that stretched into eons. His every instinct pleaded for him to hit Fight, to kill Flowey, to finish him, to end it once and for all-

But...

He didn't.

He couldn't.

"... What are you doing?" Flowey whispered in the smallest voice as Karkat selected his choice, "Do you really think I've learned anything from this?" He raised his head, ever so slightly, "No." It dropped again, like he didn't have the strength to hold it up.

The boxes reappeared, and Karkat chose again.

"Sparing me won't change anything. Killing me is the only way to end this." Flowey croaked.

Karkat pressed the box again, and Flowey raised his head, revealing a cracked and broken face, like it had been made of porcelain. His eyes were wild, his smile mad.

"If you let me live... I'll come back." Flowey rasped. Karkat clenched his jaw and chose again. "I'll kill you. I'll kill you both!" The flower insisted.

Karkat chose again.

"I'll kill everyone. I'll... kill everyone you love!" Flowey hissed, his face splitting open wide, wider than should ever be possible, to show off a deranged smile. Karkat's only answer was to choose again. Flowey's face fell. "..." Karkat pressed the box again. And again. And again. Flowey scowled.

"... Why?"

Karkat touched the button.

"... Why are you being... so nice to me?" Flowey's face twisted, like he was in physical pain from his confusion, "I can't understand." He spat through his teeth as Karkat pressed the button. "I _can't_ understand!" He hiccuped, and tears- tears!- brimmed in his eyes as he shrank away from Karkat, as the troll pressed the button again. "I just can't... understand..." Flowey sobbed. He screwed his eyes up shut tightly, and vanished.

... Flowey had run away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ya'll have no idea how hard this was to write. holy hell.


	51. Chapter 51

Karkat stared at where Flowey had been for the longest time, before an archway appeared, out of the dark, before them, bathed in a violet light. He looked up at it, then at Dave, who looked back down at him. Karkat swallowed dryly; there was so many things happening inside him at once that it all just sort of... cancelled itself out, leaving him numb and exhausted.

He opened his mouth to speak, but there was nothing he could say. He closed it again and looked back at the arch. He didn't know what lay beyond it, and he couldn't will his feet to move forward to find out.

All the same, Dave's hand found his own, and the Strider lead him forward. Two steps, and Karkat's legs gave out on him. He fell, but Dave caught him, and wordlessly scooped him up. Karkat clung to him, burying his face in his shoulder. On some level, with whatever part of his brain that was still functioning, he realized he was crying; red tears soaked into Dave's shirt, but if the blonde noticed, he didn't seem to care.

He stepped through the arch, and they were consumed by darkness once more.

Karkat didn't know how long they walked. Dave never complained about carrying him, or sat him down. Karkat might have passed out a few times, but it didn't matter if his eyes were open or shut. All there was, was the darkness. It could have been days, weeks... time meant nothing to them.

Finally, when it seemed Dave could walk no further, his legs grown weak and his arms tired, both of them were shocked by the sound of Karkat's phone ringing.

Karkat raised his head, surprised, and pawed at his pocket. He pulled out the phone, squinting against the near blinding screen light, and hit the answer button.

"Heya." Sans' voice came through the speaker, making Dave go stiff with shock. After a moment's pause, in which neither boy could think of a reply, the skeleton continued, "Is anyone there...? Well, I'll just leave a message." They heard him take a shaky breath. "So... It's been a while. The queen returned, and is now ruling over the underground. She's instated a new policy: all Humans who fall down here will be treated not as enemies, but as friends.

It's probably for the best, anyway. The Human Souls the king gathered... seem to have disappeared. So, uh, that plan ain't happening any time soon. But even though people are heartbroken over the king, and things are looking grim for our freedom... the queen's trying her best not to let us give up hope. So, uh, hey... If we're not giving up down here, don't give up wherever you guys are, okay? Who knows how long it will take but we will get out of here."

Dave and Karkat looked at each other; just how long had they been walking in the dark? Dave lowered himself, sitting on the ground with Karkat in his lap as a new voice came through.

"Sans! Who are you talking to!?" It was Papyrus; Karkat nearly teared up hearing his old friend's voice.

"Oh, nobody." Sans said to his brother.

"What?! Nobody?! Can I talk to them, too?!" Papyrus asked excitedly.

"Here, knock yourself out." Sans snickered, and they heard a shuffling as the phone was passed.

"Wait a second... I recognize this number! Attention, Human! And Dave! I, the Great Papyrus, am now Captain of the Royal Guard! It's everything I've ever dreamed of! Except, instead of fighting, we just water flowers. So that's ever-so-slightly different. And, we're helping Dr. Alphys with her research! She's gonna find a way to get us out of here. Undyne is helping her, too! Though, to be honest, her method of helping... seems kind of... explosion-inducing." Karkat could _hear_ the dismayed frown in Papyrus' voice. If he'd had the strength to laugh, he would have.

"But I think Alphys likes having her around." Papyrus continued, before he gasped, "Uh oh!" They heard a scuffling sound, before a third voice came through.

"Hey! What're you up to, punks?!" Undyne's gruff voice shouted, "Ngahh!"

"Please don't noogie the phone!" Papyrus called anxiously in the background.

"Hey, who's in charge here?!" Undyne snapped at him.

"Me." Papyrus huffed. That brought the barest hint of a smile to both boy's lips.

"Oh... yeah, that's right!" Undyne laughed, "I quit my job as leader of the Royal Guard," She said into the phone, "Actually, since we won't be fighting anymore, the Royal Guard is totally disbanded. There's uh, only one member now."

"But he's extremely good!" Papyrus shouted.

"Yeah! He is! C'mere!" There was a tumbling sound, like the phone had been dropped.

"Please don't noogie the skeleton!!" Papyrus cried, his voice muffled. They heard Undyne laugh, before another shuffling sound and Undyne's voice came through again.

"Anyways, now I'm working as Alphys' lab assistant. We're gonna find a way out of this dump once and for all! Oh, yeah, _and_ I'm a gym teacher at the queen's new school. Did you know I can bench-press seven children?!" Undyne cackled, and Dave rolled his eyes in amusement. "Awesome, right?" Undyne's snicker petered out, and there was a moment of silence.

"Hey." She said at last, her voice quieter and more serious, "I'm sorry about what happened with Asgore. You were just doing what you had to. It's not your fault he... Ah, darn it." They heard her sigh, "I miss the big guy." There was more silence, before they heard her mutter to herself, "Come on, Undyne, snap out of it!" She cleared her throat and turned back to the phone again. "Uh, I guess I'll tell you how Alphys is doing. Well, she's the same as ever. Maybe a little more reclusive than normal. Seems like something's really bothering her... but she can get through it! I'm there supporting her! That's what friends are for, right?"

They heard her sigh again, before she took a deep breath. "Hey. Wherever you two are... I hope it's better than here. It took a lot of sacrifice for you to get there... So, wherever you are, you have to try to be happy, okay?! For our sakes! We'll feel better knowing our trouble was worth it." Karkat looked around them again; their surroundings had not changed. It was just darkness. "We're all with you guys! Everyone is! Event the queen!" Undyne insisted, before she paused.

"Heyyy!! Wait a second! Toriel! _Toriel!_ Do you wanna...?!" Undyne shouted away from the speaker; Karkat's heart leaped into his throat at the thought of hearing Toriel's voice again, but his hopes fell as Undyne continued, "Heh, she says she's busy."

"But if she knew who we were talking to..." Papyrus began.

"We wouldn't get the phone back for at least a few hours." Sans finished for him, snickering.

"We have the Mercy to Spare you from her!" Papyrus agreed, giggling.

"But call back any time, okay? She'd love to talk!" Undyne added.

"Oh, whoops." Sans said, "This thing's almost outta batteries. So, hate to cut this short, but... be seeing you, okay, buddies?"

"Bye bye for now!" Papyrus called.

"See ya, punks!" Undyne cried, and then the line went dead.

The screen went black, and they were enveloped once more in the inky night. Dave and Karkat were both crying, silently, staring at the phone. Karkat thumbed the button, but it didn't turn on again. The slightest sound in front of them made them look up.

There, watching them pensively from several feet away, was Flowey.

"... Why?" He asked after a long minute of silence, "Why did you let me go? Don't you realize that being nice... just makes you get hurt? Look at yourselves. You made all these great friends. But now, you'll probably never see them again. Not to mention how much they've been set back by you. Hurts, doesn't it?"

Dave's grip on Karkat tightened, but neither of them answered. Flowey didn't seem to be expecting one, anyway, and he continued, "If you had just gone through without caring about anyone... You wouldn't have to feel bad now. So I don't get it. If you really did everything the right way... why did things still end up like this? Why? Is life really that unfair?"

Karkat opened his mouth, then shut it again. He wanted to argue, to scream and shout and throw a fit, but there was no strength in him. Flowey's words were true in the worst way, and Karkat knew it; he knew first hand how unfair life could be.

"... Say." Flowey continued at last, "What if I told you... I knew some way to get you a better ending?" He focused on Dave, "You'll have to do your little trick again, and..." He glanced away, "Well, in the meantime, why don't you go see Dr. Alphys? It seems like you could have been better friends. Who knows... maybe she's got the key to your happiness...?" Flowey shook his head, before he smiled at them. "See you soon."

And with that, he vanished.

Dave and Karkat looked at one another.

"... Well?" Karkat rasped finally; his voice was dry, and it cracked, like it hadn't been used in weeks. "Should we...?" Dave sank his teeth into his bottom lip, and nodded.

He scooped Karkat up and got to his feet, before setting Karkat down gently. Karkat wobbled, but stayed upright, and took a pace away. Dave closed his eyes and took a deep, heavy breath, before he formed his pointer fingers and thumbs into a rectangle.

His eyebrows furrowed, but he didn't open his eyes as he slowly pulled his hands apart, his face screwing up in concentration.

Karkat watched the space between Dave's hands slowly widen.

At first, nothing happened, before a red, electric energy began to flicker around the Strider's fingers. In the middle, between his fingers, was a small pinprick of light that slowly, painstakingly slowly, grew bigger, until Karkat could make out the defined shape of a gear.

As it grew, the sound of ticking filled the air, and the red electricity grew more intense. With a burst of red light, Dave's clothes were replaced by his God Tier uniform.

That was when the gear overtook Dave's hands, suddenly expanding to the size of a house. Both boys jumped back, surprised, as the white gear spun slowly before them. The light it emitted was warm, almost gentle, and coaxed them forward.

Dave looked at Karkat, and Karkat looked at Dave. Karkat saw Dave's adam's apple jump as he swallowed, before the human extended his hand to the troll.

Karkat looked down at it for a moment, before he grasped it with his own. Dave pulled him close, into a hug, before he stepped away. Squeezing Karkat's fingers, he nodded. Karkat nodded back.

Together, they stepped into the gear.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That! Shit! Hurted!


	52. Chapter 52

They stepped out the other side, and found themselves next to the archway to the barrier.

Dave looked around, stunned. It'd worked, he thought, as the gear shrunk and vanished behind them.

"We're back." He whispered. Looking down at Karkat, he saw the troll's sickle had returned to his hip. Karkat seemed surprised by it, too, touching the handle tentatively. He looked up at Dave after a moment, clearly struggling to say something.

"What... happened to you?" He asked finally, his voice hoarse. Dave frowned and looked down at himself; his clothes had changed, but nothing else seemed different.

"What?"

"With- with Flowey. You were... He'd tried to kill you, but he said you wouldn't... your Soul wouldn't...?" Karkat stammered uncertainly. Dave blinked.

"Oh." He furrowed his eyebrows in thought. "... I don't remember." He said at last; it was the truth. The last thing he remembered of the whole ordeal was Flowey taking the Souls, the world going dark, and then... all he could recall were flashes of images and feelings that meant nothing to him, before the memory of Karkat holding him surfaced. Then he was crawling away, and then... He bit the inside of his cheek, puzzled, before he focused on Karkat. "What about you?"

"I..." Karkat's eyes suddenly became distant, and he reached up idly to touch his own chest. "My Soul... called the others. I think." He frowned, "They saved me. They attacked Flowey when he was killing me over and over. Then you appeared." His grip tightened on Dave's hand.

Dave could only shake his head slowly, his head a whirlwind of thoughts.

"All I remember is laying on the ground, and then-" A new memory surfaced and he stiffened. "I heard your voice. You- you called my name. Then the Souls appeared and healed me. I got up, and they lead me back to you. Flowey had you surrounded by his bullets, and then the Souls ripped him a new one." Karkat nodded slowly, digesting this, before he looked towards the archway.

"... What now?" He asked at last.

"Well... I guess we go find Alphys." Dave shrugged. Karkat glanced up at him.

"But _Flowey_ told us to do that." He pointed out, "I don't know if we should listen to him." Dave pursed his lips.

"To be honest, babe, I don't know who to listen to anymore." He admitted, "But we just went through... a hell of a lot. Or you did, anyway. And I'm not ready for round two. We've got shit to make up to Alphys, so I feel inclined to go hunt her down anyway. We could at least get the hell out of here and see how we feel." He suggested. Karkat shifted his feet, thinking, before he nodded.

"Okay." He conceded at last. Dave smiled and kissed the troll's head, right between his horns, and began leading him back through the castle.

Back through the throne room, back down the long halls, back through the corridor where Sans judged them, back to the elevator, and they descended into the Core. Down the halls, across the stage where Dave had dance-fought Mettaton, through the elevator back to the main entrance. Until finally, they stepped out and found themselves facing the back of the MTT Resort.

"Oh yeah." Dave said, turning to Karkat, "Didn't we want to break into Mettaton's supposed house? Wanna go do that?" He suggested. Karkat snorted.

"Sure. We need to get the fucking key from Catty and Bratty." He agreed. Dave nodded, pleased, and headed for the Resort's back doors; he guessed Karkat had agreed so readily since it had been the troll's idea in the first place- no Floweys involved. And since when has burglary _not_ put someone in a good mood after a horrific fight against an eldritch beast?

As they reached the back porch of the Resort, Karkat's phone trilled. He pulled it out.

"Hello?"

"Hey...! Uh, this is Undyne!" The Royal Guard Captain called through the speaker, before they heard her hiss, "Shut up, Papyrus, this was your idea!" She turned back to the phone. "Human! Dave! You have to deliver something for me! Uh, please? I'm at Snowdin, in front of Papyrus' place. See ya, punks!" She hung up, giving them no chance to respond. Karkat pocketed his phone and looked up at Dave.

"We can do that after we swing by Mets' place." Dave hummed.

""Swing by."" Karkat repeated, snorting, as they ducked into the Resort. They quickly crossed the lobby, and were back outside. Around the corner, into the alley, and they were back in front of Catty and Bratty's place.

"Hey! Check it out!" Bratty cried, grinning; the alligator gal was applying nail polish to her claws, leaning back in her chair.

"Yeah! Welcome back!" Catty greeted them; she was reading a magazine, which she set down as they approached.

"Hey, ladies." Dave greeted them as the option boxes popped up.

"Hey dudes! Nice new duds!" Bratty grinned, nodding to Dave's cape and Karkat's locket.

"Thanks."

Karkat swiftly selected Buy, and chose the Mystery Key.

"Bratty! We're going to be rich!" Catty squealed as Karkat forked over the 400 gold. She picked up the key and handed it to him in turn, before the boys said their goodbyes and Exited.

As they walked back to the entrance of the Resort, Karkat examined the key; it was nothing but a simple house key, with a large, pink gem studded in the head. He slipped it onto the key ring on his phone.

"Where now?" He asked.

"I guess we head for the elevators that'll take us to Alphys' lab, and get the riverdude to take us to Waterfall." Dave shrugged. Karkat nodded, satisfied, and Dave took the lead.

Down the steps in front of the resort, they were once again surrounded by the thick heat of Hotland. Past the Nice Cream bunny and the guards, they swung to the left, where the "**R3**" elevator- and Heats Flamesman- stood. They paid the little fire creature no mind as they stepped into the elevator, and Dave hit the button for "**Left Floor 1"**.

One short elevator ride later, the boys followed the road and found themselves, sure enough, in front of Alphys' lab. Karkat Saved as they passed the Save Point, before they headed down the steps to the dock.

"Hey again." Dave greeted the riverman hesitantly.

"Tra la la. Care for a ride?" The riverwoman hummed.

"Yes, please."

"Where will we go today?"

"Waterfall, please."

"Then we're off..." The riverman nodded toward the back of the boat, and the boys clambered in. As soon as they were settled, the boat lurched and began to glide forward. After a few minutes of silence, the riverwoman spoke. "Tra la la. The waters are wild today. That's bad luck..." They murmured. Dave glanced at the river; the surface of the water barely rippled as they passed.

"What are you talking about?" He asked. The riverman didn't answer, and soon they pulled up to the Waterfall dock.

"Come again some time. Tra la la." The riverwoman purred. Dave and Karkat climbed into the boat. Dave thanked the riverman and they walked away; his skin crawled as he put his back to their mysterious ferryman.

They found themselves in front of the old turtle's shop, and they took a left, to find themselves back in the six-way crossroads in front of Undyne and Napstablook's house. Karkat Saved again as they passed the Save Point, before they headed for the middle fork.

They stepped into the clearing that held the two crooked houses. Taking a deep breath, Karkat headed for the one they hadn't been able to get into; the right one, with pink bricks and shingles.

Pulling out his phone, he grasped the key and pushed it into the doorknob. It slid in effortlessly, and Dave couldn't suppress a tremble of excitement as Karkat turned the key. They heard a lock click, and when Karkat tried the knob, the door swung open for them. Sharing exhilarated looks, Karkat stepped inside, and Dave followed.

They stepped into a world of _pink_. Pink wood floors, rosy, star-dotted wallpaper, and salmon curtains pulled over a window on the back wall. A fuchsia, queen sized bed was shoved into the far left corner, with a purple throw pillow tossed on the neatly made blankets. A bubble-gum carpet, decorated with stars, was unrolled at the foot of the bed, on the other side of which was a violet TV stand and watermelon-tinted TV. A movie poster spanned the back wall, featuring a couple dancing in a spotlight.

In front of them, spread out across the floor, were six, red journals.

Dave looked around, taking it all in.

"... This is about what I expected." Karkat said at last, stuffing his hands into his pockets. Dave chuckled.

"Yeah, me too." He agreed. Eyeing the journals, he saw little numbers drawn on their covers; they were numbered, from one to six. Stepping towards the first book, he knelt down and opened it:

_"Dear Diary:  
_ _Shyren's sister "fell down" recently. It's sad. Without her sister to speak for her, she's become more reclusive than ever. So I reached out to her, and told her that she, Blooky, and I should all perform together sometime. She seemed to like that idea."_

He read it out loud to Karkat; the words were written in pink, glittery ink, and in a curly, cutesy handwriting. When he turned the page, he saw it was empty. Frowning, he picked up the book and thumbed through it; all the rest of the pages were blank. Puzzled, he moved to the second book and opened it to read:

_"Dearer Diary:_   
_I like to buy a new diary for every entry I make. I love to collect diaries."_

That, too, was the only entry in the book. Torn between amusement and bewilderment, Dave moved to the third book:

_"Dearest Diary:_   
_Our cousin left the farm to become a training dummy. That just leaves Blooky and I. Blooky asked me if I was going to try to become corporeal, too. They sounded so... resigned. Come on, Blooky. You know I'd never leave you behind._   
_And besides... I'd never find the kind of body I'm looking for, anyway."_

"Wait. Hold the fuck up." Karkat stopped him from reaching for the fourth journal, "Mettaton was a ghost?"

"I guess so." Dave shrugged.

"So then..." Karkat frowned, sitting against the wall and putting his chin in his hand, "Does he _possess_ his robot body? How does that work? Why does it need battery power, too, if he's in charge of it?" Dave sat back on his knees, thinking.

"Maybe... it's kinda like Hal's situation? Like, he's just the personality and emotions, but the rest is just robot. Hal still needs to plug himself in every night so _his_ battery doesn't die. Mets is the same way, I guess." He said thoughtfully, drumming his fingers on his thigh.

"But Hal is an A.I. Dirk built him, then transferred him into a body. Mettaton is- was- just a ghost." Karkat pointed out.

"Yeah... I dunno man. Let's see." He grabbed the fourth journal and flipped it open:

_"My Darling Diary:_   
_I met someone... interesting today. Last week I posted that advertisement for my Human Fanclub. Today was our first meeting. Only one other person came. Honestly, she's a dork. And she's obsessed with these awful cartoons. But she's kind of funny, too... I want to see her again."_

"Alphys. I guess we know how they met, then." Karkat commented. Dave hummed in agreement, and picked up the fifth book:

_"Diary... my dear:_   
_My diary collection is going fabulously. I have, like, five now."_

Dave laughed, amused by the short entry, and turned to the final journal:

_"Dear Diary:_   
_She surprised me with something today. Sketches of a body she wants to create for me. A form beyond my wildest fantasies. In a form like that, I could finally feel like... myself. After all, there's no way I can be a star the way I am now._   
_Sorry, Blooky. My dreams can't wait for anyone."_

He set it down, his thoughts whirling.

"Do you think Mettaton was human?" He asked. Behind him, Karkat raised his head in surprise.

"What do you mean?"

"Well... where do ghosts come from? What are ghosts?"

"They're dead peoples... _souls_." Karkat said slowly, his eyes widening as he sat up further. Dave nodded, turning on his knees to face the troll.

"Monster Souls can't last outside of their bodies. How else would a ghost come to be in this place, then? How could Mets last long enough to get his robot body? Maybe he, Napsters, and Dummy were all... humans."

"Who, what? Stayed here and died?" Karkat asked skeptically. Dave shrugged again.

"I dunno man. I'm just talking out my ass. It kind of makes sense- Mets knew I was human, maybe it's because he used to be one. But they've all been down here so long, maybe he just... forgot his humanity." Dave explained carefully. Karkat tipped his head to the side in thought, considering this, before he nodded slowly.

"I could... see that, I guess." He conceded. He got to his feet, then, and stretched, looking around. "I don't think this place is going to give us any more answers, though. Let's go see what Undyne wants us to deliver."

Dave nodded, getting to his feet. They slipped out the door, and Karkat put the key on the doorstep for the robot to find, before they headed back to the riverman.

"Tra la la. Welcome back. Care for a ride?" They asked as the boys approached.

"Yes, please. To Snowdin this time."

"Then we're off." The riverwoman nodded. The boys got into the boat, which rumbled and rose above the water. Looking quickly towards the head of the boat, Dave saw it had morphed into a dog's head again. The legs unfolded, and the canine raft began to bound forward, on top of the water's surface.

As they hounded down the river, the riverman seemed to look back at them.

"Tra la la~. Don't snoop behind people's houses. You might be mistaken for a trashcan." They murmured.

"What?" Karkat asked. As usual, the riverwoman gave no answer, and they were soon pulling up beside the Snowdin dock.

"Come again sometime. Tra la la." The riverman said as they disembarked.

"Thanks, dude." Dave said over his shoulder as he and Karkat walked away.

They headed through the town, and the twin aches of familiarity and comfort twined through Dave's chest; it felt like ages since they'd been in the snow-buried city, and not even the chill of the icy breeze could smother the warmth that built in his heart. He gazed around at the twinkling lights, his ears filled with the chatter of the monsters, and sighed contently, mindlessly reaching out to take Karkat's hand. Karkat happily tangled their fingers together, and they turned down the street, heading for Sans and Papyrus' place.

There, hanging out in front of the large house, was Undyne and Papyrus. Their words from the phone call rang in Dave's head suddenly, and he felt the urge to run up and hug both of them.

He forced himself to keep his pace steady and his expression casual as they strolled up.

"Yo, Paps. Undyne." He greeted them. Undyne looked up sharply, before her earfins flickered nervously.

"Hey, punks. Um, so, I have a favor to ask you two." She began, before she cleared her throat, "Uh, I... I need you to deliver this letter. T- to Dr. Alphys." She dug in her pocket and pulled out a slightly crumpled, pale blue envelope.

"Why don't you just do it yourself?" Karkat asked, confused. Dave could've kicked him when he saw the captain's cheeks turn dark. She glanced away.

"... Um. W- well... I- it's kind of personal, but we're friends so... I'll t- tell you." She took a deep breath, before throwing her head back and shouting, "Hotland _suuuucks!!!_ I don't wanna have to go over there!" She laughed, "So here you go!" She thrust the letter at them, and Karkat took it. "Oh, and if you read it, I'll kill you." Undyne added, baring her teeth at them, before she grinned, "Thanks so much! You're the best!" She said cheerily.

Sharing a concerned look, the boys just nodded.

"You can count on us, cap'n." He assured Undyne. After a moment's hesitation, he extended a clenched fist to her. She looked down at it and snorted, her fins fluttering, but bumped her knuckles with his.

"Thanks, punks."

Karkat slid the letter into his pocket and turned towards Papyrus as this happened.

"... What's up?" He asked; by his voice, Dave guessed he was thinking about the phone call, too.

"Hello, Human!" Papyrus greeted him cheerfully, "Undyne writes a lot of letters. But, she can never seem to find the right words. So when she goes to deliver them herself, she always quits so she can go back and rewrite. That's why she asked you." He explained, "Because you have no standards!"

"I sure don't." Karkat laughed softly, before he turned away. Dave followed, bewildered.

"What the hell did he mean by that?"

"When we fought, he said I "met his standards" when I told him I don't have any redeeming qualities." Karkat explained.

"Oh. Well, that's bullshit. You've got lots of redeeming qualities." Dave huffed.

"Sure." Karkat rolled his eyes, and headed for the far side of town, where the shop and inn stood. He made a beeline for the box, where he began shuffling their items around.

"You do." Dave insisted as he worked, "You're cute, and smart, and a dork, and you've got a _great_ ass, and-"

"Dave!" Karkat's face had gone from grey to red in an instant. Dave laughed.

"Well, it's true." He crossed his arms. Karkat made a halfhearted grumble and turned back to the box, but Dave saw a small smile on his lips. It was a small victory, but Dave's chest felt like it was full of fireworks. After everything that had happened, any chance to make Karkat smile felt like a triumph.

"I'm going to get more items, so we're not carrying around the most important stuff." Karkat said, louder than he probably meant to, before he ducked into the shop. Dave followed after him, still smirking to himself.

"Hello, travelers." The purple-furred bunny woman behind the counter greeted them. Karkat returned her hello, and selected Buy.

As he pondered over the items, Dave looked around, and noticed a new newspaper tossed casually on a small table by the window. Moving towards it, he saw it was folded open to the comics section.

And there, right in the middle, was the comic he'd drawn in the library.

His jaw dropped; he knew the news ladies had said they'd print it, but he hadn't been expecting to see his own work on paper like this. Glancing at the bunny, he saw she was occupied with Karkat. He quickly pulled the page out of the newspaper and folded it up, stuffing it in his pocket. If they ever made it home, he was tacking it on his wall.

"Hey, you ready?" Karkat asked him, suddenly appearing beside him and making him jump.

"What? Yeah." He said, still reeling. Karkat gave him a confused look, but took his hand and lead him back outside. As soon as the door shut, Dave told him in an excited, albeit low voice about his drawing. He pulled out the paper to show him, grinning.

Karkat's eyebrows shot up.

"That's awesome, Dave. You're famous." He purred. Dave beamed with pride and tucked the paper away again.

They headed through the streets, and back up to the riverwoman.

"Tra la la. Care for a ride?" The riverman asked for the third time.

"Yes, please. To Hotland."

"Then we're off." They hummed. For the third time, the boys got into the boat, and the watercraft lurched, gliding forward. After a few minutes of silence, Dave saw the riverwoman shudder. "Tra la la. Within the laboratory... find my journal." They muttered, their voice suddenly low and dark.

"Your... your what?" Dave blinked. As always, he received no reply.

When they pulled up to the dock, the riverman did not bid them to come again sometime. The boys shared a look, and got out quickly. They headed back up the stairs, and Karkat Saved at the glimmering Save Point.

They turned to look at the giant white building, and, taking a deep breath, Karkat lead the way towards it.


	53. Chapter 53

Karkat and Dave walked up to the lab, but the doors did not slide open as they had before. Karkat reached out and touched them, but they didn't budge.

"The fuck?" He muttered.

"She must've locked 'em." Dave reasoned, looking around; there wasn't a mail slot in sight. "... Just stick it under the door, I guess." He suggested. Karkat huffed, but did as he said, crouching down and feeding the envelope through the small gap at the bottom, before he stood up and rapped his knuckles against the steel doors. Sharing a look, Dave was about to suggest they leave, when they heard a voice on the other side of the door.

"O- Oh n- no, is that another letter...? I- I don't want to open it... C- can't I just slide it back out?" Alphys' voice was trembling and weak, almost frightened. Dave opened his mouth, ready to call out, but she continued, "N... no... I can't keep doing this. I'll... I'll read this one." They heard scuffling, before the doctor muttered, "I- it's shut k- kind of strongly, isn't it? ... Wait a second..."

Dave and Karkat looked at each other again as silence fell on the other side of the doors. Both of them flinched as they suddenly swished open.

There stood Alphys, her head bowed and the letter clenched in her claws.

"Hey, if this is a joke, it's..." She looked up at them, before her eyes widened. She took a step back, alarmed. "Oh my god?" She blinked at Karkat, "Did _you_ write this letter? It wasn't signed, so, I had no idea who could have..." She swallowed, a look of panic building on her face, "Oh my god. Oh no. Th- that's adorable." She laughed awkwardly, "And I h- had no idea you, um, wrote that way! It's surprising, too... After all the gross stuff I did... I... don't really deserve to be forgiven. Much less, um... this? And so passionately, too." She coughed uncomfortably. Karkat did an almost comical double take.

"Wait- what? No, we were just- I'm- I'm not-" He began, bewildered and flustered.

"You know what? Okay! I'll do it! It's the least I can do to make it up to you!"

"What are you-"

"Yeah! Let's go on a date!" Alphys continued, her voice cracking, "C- come on in!"

She turned and disappeared inside, and Dave promptly burst out laughing. Karkat rounded on him.

"What the fuck is so funny?!" He demanded as Dave doubled over, wheezing.

"Undyne wrote a love letter, dude, oh my god- and-" He dissolved into giggles again, tears of laughter gathering in his eyes, "You're going on _her _date with Alphys! F- first Paps, then you technically went on one w- with Undyne and Sans, now Alphys-" He couldn't breathe he was laughing so hard. Even when Karkat kicked him in the shin, it did nothing to dissuade the giggles.

"Might I remind you, I'm dating _your_ dumb fucking ass. How can you find this funny?" Karkat huffed, crossing his arms. Dave finally managed to take a deep gulp of air, his face pink.

"B- because- oh my god, dude- you're going to be on a date with _Asgore_ by the time we get out of here-" His voice broke, and he cracked up all over again.

"I hate you." Karkat scoffed, disgusted and pouting, "I'm not going on this date."

Dave forced himself to stand up and fucking _breathe_\- it'd been so long since he'd had such a good, genuine laugh, he didn't want to stop, but unfortunately he needed oxygen to stay alive.

"Yes, you are." He huffed, using his thumbs to brush the tears off his face, "Come on, man. She'd be crushed." Karkat glared at him.

"But I'm dating _you_. If I wanted to go on a date with an anime weirdo I'd date your brother."

Dave snickered. "You are so far out of my brother's league, dude. Dirk couldn't touch you with a ten foot pole." He put a hand on Karkat's shoulder, before he moved it to the troll's cheek. "Look, dude," He continued, in a steadier voice, "I _know_ you're dating me. It's the best part of my fucking life. But Alphys clearly needs to get out of her house, and I trust you enough that I doubt one date will have you eloping with her. If I thought there was any chance of you ditching me for these weirdos, you think I'd be cool with you "dating" them? I trusted you with Paps, and that dude's swag is so strong he gets away with wearing basketballs and booty shorts, which is something I could never pull off." He insisted.

As he was talking, Karkat's stiff posture slowly relaxed, and the troll dropped his hands, his gaze flickering away as his fangs worried at his lips.

"... Fine." He relented, reaching up to pull Dave's hand off his cheek; he didn't release the human's fingers once he had them, though. He turned and headed into the lab, and Dave followed. "For the record, I like you in short shorts." He added over his shoulder. Dave bit his tongue to keep himself from laughing, and only squeezed Karkat's hand in acknowledgement.

They stepped into the lab, and heard noises coming from the second floor, where- Dave assumed- Alphys was.

She must have heard them come in, because she called out, "Uhh, sorry! I'm still getting dressed!"

"Take your time!" Dave called back.

Another minute later, and Alphys came riding down her escalator, and waddled towards them.

The chubby scientist was dressed in a black, sleeveless, silk dress with white polka-dots, with a white scarf tied around her neck. A black, spaghetti-strap purse hung off her shoulder.

"H- how do I look?" She asked, twisting her claws together anxiously, "My friend helped me pick out this dress. She's got a great sense of... Um, anyway, let's do this thing!"

Karkat gave Dave one final, reproachful look, before he stepped towards her. "You look great." He told her, "Let's do this."

She nodded, before she suddenly clapped her hands to her cheeks. "W- w- wait! Actually, we can't start the date yet!" She cried. Karkat blinked, taken aback.

"Why?"

"Um, I've- I've gotta give you items to raise your affection statistic, first! That'll increase the chance of a successful outcome to the date! R- right...?" She smiled nervously, swallowing.

"I-"

"Anyway, d- don't worry! I'm prepared! I- I've been stockpiling gifts in anticipation for a date like this!" She continued in a rush, before she dug into her purse, "F- first, I've got..." She whipped out a small, clear jar, full of a thick, opaque liquid. "S- some metal armor polish!" As soon as the words left her mouth, her face fell, and she looked at the jar again.

Dave, who'd walked over to her computer and was sitting backwards in her desk chair, grinned knowingly at Karkat, who, despite his earlier tantrum, gave him a small smile in return.

"Um," Alphys said, drawing their attention back to her, "Maybe you can't use that. But!!" She added quickly, dropping the jar into her bag and pulling out a small, rectangular box, "I also brought some waterproof cream for your scales!" Again, she double checked the item she was holding. "Your... um. Scales." She repeated slowly, glancing Karkat over. She shook her head and put the box back, before rummaging some more, "Uh, well, how about..." She pulled out another, but larger, box, looking a little frantic now, "This magical spear repair kit, that I..." Her eyes flickered towards the sickle on his hip, her face falling. "Um..." She put the box back, taking a deep breath.

"H- hey! Let's... forget about the items! Let's just start the date." She insisted. Karkat nodded, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

"Okay."

"Yeah!" The scientist cried, trying to pump herself back up, "Let's, uh, date!" She beamed. After a few seconds of silence, however, her smile slowly fell. "Uh..." She looked around frantically, clearly trying to come up with a subject to talk about. Her eyes landed on her computer, over Dave's shoulder, before she looked back at Karkat, "Do you... like... anime?" She asked hesitantly.

Karkat shrugged good naturedly. "Sure." He said, mentally resigning himself to most likely having to watch anime for the next hour. Alphys, however, brightened.

"H- hey! Me too!" She nodded, before she glanced away, shuffling her feet. "Uh... Hey! Let's!! Go somewhere!!" She suggested, before she frowned, tapping her claw against her chin, "But where's a good place to go on a date...?" She murmured to herself, frowning, before she perked up, "I've got it! Let's go to the garbage dump!" She suggested, looking proud of herself. Karkat opened his mouth, then shut it again, sighing.

"Sure, why not."

Alphys smiled shyly. "This way!" She turned and headed for the front doors, and Karkat followed, glancing at Dave.

"You coming?" He asked. Dave got up from his seat, smirking.

"You kidding? I'm not missing this for the world." He insisted.

The boys followed Alphys out of her lab, where she took a left and headed down the steps to the riverman.

"... the three of us to Waterfall." She was saying when they caught up with her.

"Then we're off!" The riverwoman said pleasantly, nodding. Alphys carefully climbed into the boat, and Karkat and Dave clambered in after her; with all four of them, it was a tight fit, but the boat lurched and stared forward regardless.

The whole ride, the riverman was silent, except for a single, "Tra la la." Alphys was quiet, too, sending pensive glances towards Karkat the whole time. Dave would be a liar if he didn't admit he was enjoying the awkward tension. Finally, they pulled up to the Waterfall dock, and they disembarked.

"Come again sometime, tra la la." The riverwoman hummed.

They walked away from the dock, and Alphys took a left at the shop, back to the six-way intersection. Taking another left, she lead them into the rank-smelling, water filled garbage dump where Karkat had fought the Mad Dummy. The boys splashed into the water, both shuddering as the freezing water soaked through their shoes and pants.

"Here we are!" Alphys said happily, stopping beside a large pileup of trash and turning to Karkat, "This is where Undyne and I come all the time. We find all sorts of great stuff here. Heh, she's really... Uh..." She swallowed. A splash to their right made Alphys whirl around. "Oh no... Th- that's her over there!" She cried. Karkat looked over; sure enough, he could see Undyne stomping through the water towards their direction, having not yet noticed them. "I c- can't let her see me on a date with you!" Alphys hissed frantically.

"Why?" Karkat asked, looking back at her. Alphys tensed up, like she'd realized what she just said.

"Because, uh... W- well..." She looked towards Undyne, and froze up further. "Oh, no, here she comes!" Looking around, she suddenly turned and dashed behind a beat up trashcan standing nearby, ducking down; only her tail poked out from behind it.

"Hey! There you are!" Undyne suddenly shouted, making Karkat look back around.

The Royal Guard came stomping over, and they got a good look at how she was dressed. She was wearing a white tank top under a black, leather jacket, with a pair of black skinny jeans to match. A red scarf wrapped carelessly around her neck went well with the red leather boots she was wearing on her feet. Her hair was pulled up into a ponytail, but she'd let down part of her bangs to frame the left side of her face. She was even wearing makeup, her lips painted crimson and her eye shadow a deep ruby.

"Hi." Dave greeted her.

"I, uh, realized that if you delivered that thing, it might be a bad idea." Undyne explained pensively, "So I'm gonna do it! Give it to me!" She continued, holding her hand out for the letter. Karkat and Dave shared a glance.

"I don't have it." Karkat told her, "I already delivered it." Undyne's eyes widened, and she made an aggravated, distressed groan in the back of her throat.

"Have you at least seen her?!" She asked anxiously. Karkat resisted every urge to look at the trashcan the scientist was hiding behind. Out of his peripheral vision, he could see Alphys' tail trembling.

"Uh... yeah, I've _seen_ her." He said vaguely, not making eye contact with Undyne. The fish woman perked up.

"Yes? So she's somewhere around here. Thanks, I'll keep looking." Pleased, she hurried off through the piles of garbage. Once she was out of sight, Alphys edged out from behind the waste bin.

"Oh my god..." She said softly, before looking up at Karkat, "W... well, I guess it's obvious, huh? I... uh. I really like her. I mean, more than I like other people."

"I noticed." Karkat nodded, and he heard Dave snort. Alphys nodded, too, looking downcast.

"I'm sorry. I j- just figured, y- you know... It'd be f- fun, to go on, like, a cute, kind of... pretend date with you? T- to make you feel better?" She explained tepidly, before she buried her face in her hands. "Well, it sounds even worse when I put it like that." She mumbled.

"Alphys, it's-"

"I'm sorry. I- I messed up again." Alphys sighed, dropping her hands and wrapping her arms around herself. "Undyne's the person I... um... really want to go on a date with." She confessed, "But, I mean... she's way out of my league. N- not that you aren't, um, cool!" She added hastily, "B- but... Undyne... She's so confident... and strong... and funny..." She smiled serenely, before her face fell, "And I'm... just a nobody." She finished.

"Doc," Dave began this time, frowning.

"A fraud." Alphys added, seeming not to hear him, "I'm the royal scientist, but... all I've ever done is hurt people. I've told her so many lies, she thinks that I'm... she thinks I'm a lot cooler than I actually am. If she gets close to me, she'll... she'll find out the truth about me." Her shoulders slumped. After a pause, she raised her eyes to Karkat. "What should I do?" She asked, her voice small and shaking.

Karkat couldn't help but glance at Dave. Memories of his own inner turmoil over his flushcrush on the blonde human bubbled to the forefront of his mind. He knew exactly what Alphys was going through, but he also knew she wasn't going to like the answer; he'd despised it when he came to the conclusion on his own, and it had only sent him into another spiral of anxiety and fretting.

"Tell her the truth." He said at last, looking back at the reptilian scientist.

"The truth...?" Alphys repeated, her eyes widening, "B- but if I tell her that, she'll hate me! Isn't it better this way? To live a lie where both people are happy, or a truth where neither of us are?" She shook her head, rubbing her arms anxiously, "They say "be yourself", but I don't really like who "myself" is. I'd rather just be whatever makes people like me." She admitted, before she laughed humorlessly.

Karkat stuffed his hands into his pockets, shaking his head. "That won't fucking work. Trust me." He said, his voice startling gentle, "I get it, okay? Self-loathing and pretending and bottling it all up- it's a shit show and a half, but at least it's a _show_, a fucking party, right?" He sighed, "No. Because it's a party where everyone in attendance is miserable and shit-faced on lies. It's terrifying, but at some point you've gotta give everybody that sobering, disgusting coffee called honesty. Either the party will be a blast, or everyone will go home. But it's just going to get worse and fucking worse if you keep drinking."

Both Alphys and Dave were staring at him; Alphys with pain, and Dave with pride. Alphys slowly nodded.

"No, you're right." She sighed, "Every day I'm scared... scared what will happen if people learn the truth on their own. They'll all get hurt because of me. But how can I tell Undyne the tr... truth? I- I don't have the confidence. I'm going to mess it up! H- How can I practice?!" She asked, distressed.

"... What if you roleplay it?" Dave suggested after a moment. Karkat internally groaned; he could barely stand roleplay with Nepeta at the best of times, he'd rather get a nail through his foot that do it with Alphys.

"R- roleplay?" Alphys repeated, looking at Dave thoughtfully, "... That actually sounds kind of fun!" She said at last. Dave smirked and glanced at Karkat; seeing the expression on the troll's face, he turned back to Alphys.

"A'ight, I'll be Undyne, and you be... you." He offered, catching the relieved look Karkat shot him. Alphys turned towards him fully, nodding.

"Right. Obviously. Ehehe." She swallowed, tangling her claws together again as she cleared her throat. She closed her eyes for a moment, before she opened them again and looked up at the Strider. "H- hi, Undyne. H- How are you today?" She asked nervously.

"I'm fine." Dave replied, in a pretty decent impression of Undyne's rough voice.

"Ha! Ha! Glad to hear it!" Alphys said loudly. She caught herself and took a deep breath, "Uhh. So I'd like to, um, talk to you about something." She said, looking away.

"Yeah? What is it, Alphys?" Dave prompted her encouragingly. The doctor shifted her feet.

"Um, you see... I... I... I h- haven't been exactly truthful w- w- with you... Y- you see, I... I..." She swallowed, before she grit her teeth and clenched her hands into fists. "Oh, forget it!" She hissed, before she squared up to Dave, "Undyne!! I- I want to tell you how I feel!" She shouted, making Dave step back in alarm, "Y- You're so brave, a- and strong, a- and nice... Y- You always listen t- to me when I talk about n- n- nerdy stuff. Y- you always d- d- do your best to m- make me f- feel special, l- like telling me y- you'll beat up anyone that g- gets in my way..." She raked her nails down her cheeks, suddenly shaking.

"Undyne!" She cried out, "I can't take this any longer! I'm- madly in love with you!! Hold me, Undyne, hold me!" Dave laughed, both delighted and caught off guard by her sudden enthusiasm. He dropped to his knees and flung his arms around the lizard's neck.

"_What_ did you just say?" A voice behind them made all three of them whirl around.

Undyne had come back, unnoticed, and was standing stock-still, her eye blown wide with shock. Alphys froze like a deer in headlights, before she took a step back, out of Dave's arms, while Dave rose slowly to his feet.

"U- Undyne! I... was... just..." She stammered, terror making her voice shake.

"Hey, whoa, wait a second!" Undyne interrupted, looking Alphys over, "Your outfit's really cute! What's the occasion?" She asked, grinning. Her grin faltered, however, as she looked between the three of them. "Wait a second." She said again, "Are you two... on a date?" She looked between Dave and Alphys.

"Uhh... yes! I mean, uhh, no! I w- was on a date with the human!" She gestured to Karkat, "I mean, we were, but- _we_ were only romantically roleplaying as you!" She nodded to Dave.

"_What???_"

"I mean!!" Alphys cried, panicked, "I mean... Undyne, I... I've been lying to you!"

"_What?_ About what?!" Undyne demanded, baffled.

"A- about... well..." Alphys swallowed, "Everything!" She admitted, before she took a deep breath and went off.

"I told you that seaweed was like, scientifically important, but really I just wanted it to make ice cream. And those human history books I keep reading, those are just dorky comic books! And the history movies, those- those are just, uh, anime! And that time I told you I was busy with work on the phone, I- I was just eating frozen yogurt in my pajamas! That time I-" She rambled, nervously edging closer all the while.

"Alphys." Undyne said, bringing the doctor to a halt, her fins folded back in surprise.

"I... I just wanted to impress you." Alphys said quietly, "I just wanted you to think I was smart and cool. That I wasn't some... nerdy loser." Undyne smiled softly, putting her hand on Alphys' head.

"Alphys." She said again.

"Undyne, I... I really think you're neat, okay?"

Undyne dropped to her knees and enveloped Alphys in her arms, rubbing the doctor's back. "Alphys... shh." She murmured, before she suddenly gathered the doctor into her arms. Alphys squeaked, before Undyne tossed her through the air. Dave and Karkat cried out, startled, as Alphys was sent flying, quite neatly, into the trashcan, the lid of which had fallen off.

"Alphys!" Undyne shouted after her, "I... think you're neat too, I guess!" She declared, "But you've gotta realize, most of what you said really doesn't matter to me! I don't care if you're watching kid cartoons or reading history books! To me, all of that stuff is just _nerdy crap!!_" Her hands balled into fists, "What I like about you, is that you're _passionate!_ You're _analytical!_ It doesn't matter _what_ it is!_ You care about it!! One hundred percent, at maximum power!!"_ She put her hands on her hips, "... So you don't have to lie to me. I don't want you to have to lie to anyone anymore. Alphys, I want to help you become happy with who you are! And I know just the training you need to do that!" She announced.

Alphys, who hadn't moved after her surprisingly graceful landing into the garbage bin, poked her head out so that her eyes were visible above the rim. "Undyne, you... Y- you're going to train me?" She asked, her pupils blown wide.

"Pfft. What? Me?" She turned and looked behind herself. Dave and Karkat looked over, too, and saw _Papyrus_, of all people, standing there. "Nah, I'm gonna get Papyrus to do it." She grinned.

Papyrus leaped forward, thrusting a fist into the air as the other went on his hip. "Get those bones shakin'!" He declared. The lanky skeleton was dressed in a... workout uniform, of sorts. He was sporting a skin tight- bone tight?- white top, with hearts on the sleeves, with the word "**JOG BOY**" written across the chest. A pair of blue workout shorts covered his legs, as did knee bone-high, red boots. A sweatband was wrapped around each wrist and his skull, while his usual red scarf went around his neck. "It's time to jog a hundred laps, hootin' about how great we are!" He continued. Undyne smirked, looking at Alphys.

"Ready? I'm about to start the timer." She teased.

"U- Undyne..." Alphys blinked, before she took a deep breath, "I'll do my best!" She said firmly. Papyrus scooped the doctor out of the bin and took her hand, before they jogged off. As they disappeared, Undyne stiffened as a thought occurred to her.

"Oh my god." She turned to Dave and Karkat, "She was kidding, right? Those cartoons... those comics... Those are still real, right?! Anime's _real, right?!_" She asked frantically. Dave snorted.

"I can, personally, assure you that anime is real." He told her. Undyne laughed with nervous relief.

"I knew it!! Gigantic swords!! Magical princesses! Here I come!" She grinned. She looked towards where Alphys and Papyrus had disappeared, before focusing on them again, "Uh, thanks for taking care of Alphys. I didn't get to say what I wanted to, but... things seem like they're going better for her. Well, I gotta catch up with them. Later, punks!" She turned and jogged off through the water.

When they were all gone, Dave let out a loud sigh. "_Lesbians_." Was all he said. Karkat snorted.

"Yeah. ... What should we do now?" He asked.

"Mm. Let's get the hell out of here, first things first." Dave suggested. Karkat didn't argue. Dave took his hand and lead the way out of the dump.

As they were splashing back towards dry land, Karkat's phone rang, and he pulled it out.

"Howdy!" Papyrus said, before they could say anything, "If it isn't my good friends, who trust me. This is Papyrus, your also mutual friend. Alphys and I finished training early. Very early. So I sent her home. Very home." He giggled, before clearing his throat, "Uh... now. I feel strongly, and for no apparent reason... you should also go there. To her. Lab. House. I have only good feelings about this. Goodbye." He hung up, leaving Karkat and Dave to stare at each other in bewilderment.

"O... kay. Guess we're... going back to the lab." Dave blinked. Karkat nodded, grimacing.

They picked up the pace, then, and left the dump, and quickly got back to the riverman.

"Hey... can you take us back to Hotland, please?" Dave asked as they walked up, wary now that they were alone.

"Tra la la~. We're off." The riverwoman nodded.

Once they were situated in the boat, it took off, drifting forward leisurely. Dave watched the water as they went, but looked up as movement caught his eye. The riverman was shaking again.

"Tra. La. La." They said flatly, before turning to- seemingly- look over their shoulder at them, "Within the laboratory... you _must_ find my journal." They hissed.

"Who... are you?" Karkat asked, his grip on Dave's hand tightening. The riverperson glanced between them, then turned back around. Moments later, they glided up to the Hotland dock.

"Get out." The riverperson said in a low voice.

The boys weren't going to argue. They scrambled out of the boat and went all but running up the stairs.

When the reached the Save Point in front of the laboratory, Karkat activated it, shooting furtive glances back down the stairs.

"What the_ fuck?"_

"I'm with you. Come on." Dave muttered, unnerved, as he headed for the lab doors.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was so fun to write oml


	54. Chapter 54

This time, as the boys approached the laboratory, the doors slid open for them.

They stepped inside and looked around; nothing seemed different, but there was also no sign of Alphys. As they passed her cluttered desk, Dave saw the trashcan had been filled up with crumpled papers, some of which looked like they belonged to the stacks that crowded her computer. Curious, he approached the bin and picked one up, unfolding it.

The handwriting was... strange, but the words were clear:

**"I KNOW WHAT YOU DID."**

"Karkles?" He asked over his shoulder.

"Dave!" Karkat shouted back. Dave whirled, alarmed, and dropped the paper, running towards his boyfriend's voice.

Karkat was standing next to the lab's bathroom- the door of which had slid open- and was holding a piece of paper.

"What is it? Are you okay?" Dave asked immediately. Karkat waved the paper towards him.

"It's a note from Alphys." He hissed. Dave blinked, surprised, and took the paper to read:

_"Hey. Thanks for your help back there. You guys... your support really means a lot to me. But... as difficult as it is to say this... you guys alone can't magically make my own problems go away. I... I want to be a better person. I don't want to be afraid anymore. And for that to happen, I have to face my own mistakes. I'm going to start doing that now. I want to be clear. This isn't anyone else's problem but mine. But if you don't ever hear from me again... If you want to know "the truth." Enter the door to the right. You all at least deserve to know what I did."_

"Wh..." Fear for the scientist suddenly shot through Dave's chest and he looked up at the "bathroom"; the door was open, inviting, and hella dark. "She-?" He looked at Karkat, who only reflected his helpless look.

"We have to find her, before she does something stupid." Karkat voiced his thoughts for him. Dave nodded, dropping the paper and letting it flutter to the floor. He turned to look at the door, when the the motion of the escalator caught his eye. He glanced at it, then up towards the second floor.

"Hang on." He turned and ran up the elevator, not waiting for it to carry him. His heart was hammering as he briskly walked through Alphys' room; he wasn't sure what he was looking for, just- something to assure him that she wouldn't... there! On the old work table, still in several pieces, was Mettaton. The robot's eyes were dark, and didn't react as Dave waved his hand in front of his face. "Mets, do you know... what happened to Alphys?" He asked softly. Mettaton didn't reply, but he heard a faint whisper from within the chest casing; he didn't catch what it said, though. He sighed. "Thanks, buddy." He pat the robot's shoulder, "Catch ya later."

Turning, he headed back down the far escalator, and quickly made his way back to Karkat, who was pacing in front of the door. The troll looked up sharply at his approach.

"She's alive, at least, wherever she is." Dave said before he could speak.

"How do you know?"

Dave tipped his head towards the landing. "Mettaton is up there, still in pieces. She wouldn't leave him like that." He said confidently; much more confidently than he felt. Karkat nodded, looking relieved. He turned and looked at the doorway again.

"... Should we go find out "the truth", then?" He asked in a low voice. Dave took a deep breath and let it out slowly.

"Yeah."

Grasping Karkat's hand, he boldly stepped through the door.

Where he was expecting another room, Dave found that he and Karkat had stepped into an elevator.

"What the fuck." Karkat said, not for the first time. Dave didn't answer, scanning the button panel; there was only one that was lit up, so he pressed it. He turned and watched the doors shut behind them, before the elevator lurched _sharply_, a mechanical grinding sound starting around them. "That doesn't sound-" Karkat began, before the elevator suddenly dropped.

It swayed violently, making both boys cry out as they stumbled to keep their balance. Dave grabbed the handrail on the wall, pulling Karkat against his chest. He looked up as bright red lights began to flash, and a loud, robotic voice came over a speaker.

"Warning! Warning! Elevator losing power! EM tether stability lost! Altitude dropping!" It blared.

Dave had enough time to wrap his arms around Karkat and curl around him protectively, before the elevator crashed.

The force sent them flying, and Dave's back slammed into the ceiling, making him shout with pain. He managed to roll, so it was his back that slammed into the floor, too, when they dropped.

"Ow..." He groaned; pain rocketed up his spine and exploded in his head, making fireworks go off behind his eyes.

"Dave! Holy fuck, are you okay?" Karkat asked, alarmed, making the human grunt as his boyfriend sat up sharply, sitting on top of him and straddling his hips.

"Fuckin' peachy, babe. You?" He reached up and rubbed his eyes, before he opened them. Karkat looked visibly shaken, but he nodded.

"I'm okay." He looked around, both of them flinching as the doors suddenly ratcheted open. Dave tipped his head back to look at them, and saw a dimly lit hallway. He heaved a heavy sigh, before he grunted and forced himself to sit up.

"Good. As much as I love havin' you in my lap, I think we should get the hell out of here." He said, managing to crack a smile. Karkat looked down, like he'd only just realized he was sitting on his boyfriend. With a huff, he shoved Dave's shoulder as he got up, before offering him a hand. Dave laughed, but took it and got to his feet, brushing himself off. "Right." Adjusting his grip on Karkat's hand, he lead the way out of the elevator.

The hall was dark, but there was enough light for Dave to make out their surroundings; Dark, greenish-grey walls, and tile floors. It smelled heavily of cleaning products, like bleach and glass cleaner, despite the rather neglected feel in the air. Swallowing against the butterflies in his stomach, Dave took the lead and edged down the hall with Karkat right on his heels.

They hadn't gone far, when Dave saw a dark screen on their left, which promptly lit up as they stepped in front of it. He paused to read:

**ENTRY NUMBER 1**   
**This is it. Time to do what the King has asked me to do. I will create the power to free us all. I will unleash the power of the SOUL.**

"Is that... from Alphys?" Karkat asked, reading it with him.

"Maybe?" Looking around, he spotted a second screen. "Let's see." He hurried towards it to look:

**ENTRY NUMBER 2:**   
**The barrier is locked by SOUL power. Unfortunately, this power cannot be recreated artificially. SOUL power can only be derived from what was once living. So, to create more, we will have to use what we have now. The SOULS of Monsters.**

"Oh..." Karkat blinked, "So she..." Dave glanced at him, and could see the thoughts that raced behind Karkat's eyes. "Jesus fuck." Was what he finished with. Dave nodded, glancing around. There were even more screens down the hall, and he read each one as they passed it:

**ENTRY NUMBER 3**   
**But extracting a SOUL from a living Monster would require incredible power. Besides being impractical, doing so would instantly destroy the SOUL's host. And, unlike the persistent SOULS of Humans, the SOULS of most Monsters disappear immediately upon death. If only I could make a Monster's SOUL last.**

**ENTRY NUMBER 5**   
**I've done it. Using the blueprints, I've extracted it from the human SOULS. I believe this is what gives their SOULS the strength to persist after death. The will to keep living... the resolve to change fate. Let's call this power, "DETERMINATION."**

"Determination?" Karkat echoed, before he looked around, "Wait, where's entry four?"

"I don't know, but "determination" is what the first Save Point said, remember? And..." Memories flashed through his head, "Sans. Sans said something about it when we- before- before you fought Asgore." He added. Karkat scrunched up his face in thought, before he nodded.

"Yeah." Was all he said. Dave hummed and glanced towards the end of the hall, to see that it turned a corner to the left. Tugging on Karkat's hand, he headed for it.

Rounding the bend, they walked down a long hall, which was void of screens. Finally, the hall abruptly widened into a room.

Immediately to their left was a Save Point, which Karkat stepped forward to activate while Dave looked around.

In front of them was an immense pair of doors, with four, different colored lights set in them- two to a door. The lights were dark, though; it seemed the place was running on emergency power. To the left of the door was a snack machine, while to the right was another entry screen. On the floor, in front of the screen, was a tattered piece of paper. The only other things in the room were a few potted, rubber ferns. To the left and right were branching hallways, the right one quickly sealed by another door.

After a moment, Dave headed for the piece of paper and picked it up. In the dim light of the entry screen, he managed to make out a few words; the writing was faded and the paper was crumpled, which didn't help:

**"Elevator... lost power... enter the center door..."**

He looked up at the door, frowning in thought, before he turned to the screen:

**"Power Room"** was all it said.

"'Kay." He said, making himself and Karkat jump; his voice was a lot louder than he thought it'd be, "We gotta turn the power back on." He continued, lowering his volume, as he turned to the door. He tried it, but it didn't open. He poked the lights, but they did nothing. "... Not sure how, though." He admitted at last, as Karkat walked over to join him.

"Maybe it's like your game puzzles." Karkat suggested after a moment of observation, nodding to the lights, "You have to find the keys or something, and once the lights are lit up, the door will open." Dave brightened at the thought of more games.

"Okay, yeah. Let's go..." He glanced around, then nodded to the left hall, "That way first." Karkat nodded, and they headed for the corridor.

As they passed the snack machine, though, Karkat paused. "Hang on, we've got room, let's see what shit this thing's got." He pulled a few gold out and slipped the coins into the slot, pressing a random button. After a moment, the machine spat out a bag of chips, which Karkat collected. They vanished into the inventory, and he opened his phone to read:

_"Popato Chisps"- Heals 13 HP_   
_Regular old popato chisps._

"Popato chisps." Dave repeated, snickering, "Popato chisps in the libarby." He added, making himself laugh. Karkat rolled his eyes and put his phone away.

"Amusing yourself, are you?" He asked, striding past the snack machine and heading for the hall.

"Uh-huh." Dave chuckled, following.

There was only a single entry screen in this hall, and both of them stopped to read it:

**ENTRY NUMBER 6**   
**Asgore asked everyone outside the city for monsters that had "fallen down." Their bodies came in today. They're still comatose... and soon, they'll all turn into dust. But what happens if I inject "determination" into them? If their SOULS persist after they perish, then... freedom might be closer than we all thought.**

"... Hm." Karkat hummed. Dave looked at him.

"What?"

"So... Alphys made Mettaton, a robot with a fucking Soul, who might have been human. Asgore found out, and put Alphys in charge of this Soul research," He gestured to the screen, "so she could manufacture a way out of here. She extracted "determination" from the human Souls- fucking, somehow- and those are the Souls that helped me fight Flowey." He said, his eyebrows furrowed.

"Yeah?" Dave prompted. Karkat shook his head.

"I don't fucking know. If Monsters' Souls vanish upon death, and their bodies turn to dust, then how could she "inject determination" into them? This is all just..." He waved his hand around to gesture to their surroundings, "fucking weird. Too many things don't fucking fit right." Dave nodded sympathetically.

"Yeah. Come on." He took Karkat's hand, and lead him down the hall. They reached a steel door, which opened when Dave pushed it.

They stepped into a long, large room, full of some kind of fog. Set out in the room were three operating tables, next to a doorway that lead to a flight of descending stairs. In the corner was another screen:

**ENTRY NUMBER 9**   
**Things aren't going well. None of the bodies have turned to dust, so I can't get the SOULS. I told the families I would give them the dust back for the funerals. People are starting to ask me what's happening. What do I do?**

"We're missing four, seven, and eight now." Dave tallied, looking around. He touched one of the operating tables, and his hand came away sticky. Grimacing, he wiped it on his pants. Karkat said nothing as they skirted the tables and headed for the far end of the room. There were a pair of filing cabinets, and three separate sinks.

Karkat released his hand and walked towards the nearest one, turning the knob. Nothing happened for a moment, before they heard a gurgle deep in the pipes.

A white, viscous fluid began to drip out of the faucet, quickly turning from mere drops to a gush, and rapidly accumulated in the sink, until it was overflowing.

"What the-" Karkat jumped back as the slime wobbled and rose up, before it _looked at them_. A face morphed out of the ooze, before it exploded into three separate... things.

Karkat's Soul burst forth to meet them as they slid off the sink counter and converged on him. His boxes appeared, and he quickly chose Act, only to find that the... things, had no names. They were only labeled A, B, and C. As they watched, the creatures partially solidified into morphing, almost eldritch things; too many mouths and teeth and eyes converged and overlapped and vanished and reappeared to explain what exactly they were looking at.

Karkat hesitantly pressed A, and saw his options were Check, Stat, Cell, and Item. As always, he chose Check first:

_No data available._

The monsters all screamed garbled, static-y words, before they attacked. Globs of slime splattered the floor, before they exploded in flashes of light that resembled faces. Karkat leaped away to avoid them, cursing under his breath. When the slime disappeared, he checked his options again before pulling out his phone.

Without the phone even turning on or ringing, voices came through the receiver.

"Come join the fun." Several voices cried out, some of them overlapping or repeating themselves. Before Karkat could answer, he was forced to dodge another round of slimy attacks. When he selected Act again, he saw his options had changed to Join, or Refuse. He hesitated, before selecting Refuse.

"Oh well." One of the creatures gargled.

"Come join the fun." Insisted the second as slime dripped out of its many mouths.

"Lorem ipsum docet." The third gurgled, before the three of them launched yet another attack.

When Karkat checked Act again, he saw the letters had changed; the creatures were now named Memoryhead A, B, and C. Their names were all yellow.

"Memoryhead?" He looked up at the creatures, who reacted to their names by shivering violently. He switched to Mercy and hit Spare.

The creatures vanished down the drain of the sink, leaving behind a red, slightly slimy key. Karkat picked it up, looking at it.

"Well, one down." Dave said behind him.

"Yeah. What the fuck were those things?" Karkat asked, slipping the key onto his key ring.

"No idea." Dave shrugged, glancing at the doorway next to the sinks, "Let's see what's down there." He added. Karkat nodded, wiping the slime off his hands and onto his jeans as he put his phone back in his pocket.

Dave took the lead, slowly edging down the dark stairs. At the bottom, they found themselves in a tiny room, with a strange contraption on the far wall, and another instruction sheet, which Dave picked up to read:

"drain... dropped it..."

Looking at the thing on the wall, he thought it looked like an overly complicated key slot, with a hole in the center just big enough for the red key. Karkat seemed to have arrived at the same conclusion, as he stepped forward, pulled out his phone, and picked out the key. He pushed it into the slot and turned it; immediately, a red light light up inside the device, with a soft whir.

"... Let's go back to the front room." Dave suggested. Karkat nodded, pulling the key out. They walked back up the stairs and to the room with the snack machine. As he'd suspected, the red light in the giant doors was lit up. "Alright then. We gotta find three other keys, and wherever they go, I guess. That should be... easy enough." He said thoughtfully as Karkat hit the Save again.

A loud beeping to their right made them look over; it had come from the right hallway. Walking over to it, they saw the doors there had lit up, too, with the red light, and they slid open as they approached.

"Right. You ready to figure this mess out?" Dave asked, looking down at Karkat, "Ready to Sherlock Holmes the shit out of this freaky place? Nancy Drew some bitches into giving us some answers?"

"I don't know who that is, but sure." Karkat snorted, heading for the doors.

"I have _got_ to educate you on human literature." Dave shook his head as he followed.

"If it's more anime, no fucking thanks."


	55. Chapter 55

The boys stepped into another hall as the metal doors shut behind them.

This hall felt even bleaker and dismal than the others, despite the near spotless tile and heavy smell of cleaning supplies; it was making Dave a little dizzy, actually. He gripped Karkat's hand as they started forward, the hall quickly cutting around a corner to the right. They followed it, and found themselves approaching another entry screen:

**ENTRY NUMBER 12**   
**Nothing is happening. I don't know what to do. I'll just keep injecting everything with "determination." I want this to work.**

Next to it was a second screen:

**ENTRY NUMBER 13**   
**One of the bodies opened its eyes.**

"Oh, _fuck_ that." Karkat said passionately, his eyes widening.

"Okay, yeah. Alphy went a little Doctor Frankenstein on us here. At least she didn't, like, kill the monsters herself?" Dave said, trying to sound optimistic.

"That's not comforting if she's bringing them back to life." Karkat muttered. Dave felt inclined to agree, and they turned away, moving to the end of the hall.

They stepped out into a giant room full of nine, neatly made beds. Well, _eight_ neatly made beds, and one with the covers thrown back. In the corner, oddly enough, was an empty dog food bowl. As they edged further into the room, Dave saw a pair of doorways in the far corner; one that went down in a staircase, and another that branched to the right. Between them, was a Save point.

"What the hell is this?" Karkat asked as they wandered between the beds. Dave was about to answer, when he saw a screen on the far wall. He walked over to it:

**ENTRY NUMBER 14**   
**Everyone that has fallen down... has woken up. They're all walking around and talking like nothing is wrong. I thought they were goners...?**

He read it out to Karkat, before glancing up; there was a clock on the wall, but it wasn't moving, the hands frozen at three o'clock exactly.

"Great, she made fucking zombies. Where the- what the fuck is that?" Dave turned around in time to see Karkat throw back the blankets of one of the beds, revealing a glimmering, golden key. Karkat snatched it up, looking pleased. He slipped it on his key ring. "As I was saying, where the hell are they, then?" He continued.

Dave shrugged, stuffing his hands into his pockets as he wandered through the beds again; there were name plaques at the foot of each bed, and he bent to inspect them, while Karkat moved to the Save Point to activate it.

None of the plaques were ledgible, to Dave's dismay. He checked each one, but the names were either too faded, or outright destroyed. He reached the bed that had its covers messed up, and sat on the edge of it. It was quite soft, he realized, and let himself fall back onto it with a happy sigh; he was still aching from the elevator. He heard Karkat approach and rolled over so he was laying on it properly, opening his mouth to speak, when Karkat froze in place.

The troll's jaw fell open, and his eyes bugged wide. At the same time, Dave felt a presence appear behind him, along with the distinct smell of body wash. He tired to look over his shoulder, but found himself paralyzed in place. He felt fingers- long, boney, and sharp, like spider legs- ghost down the mattress by his back, before they grasped the blankets at his feet. Slowly, ever so slowly, the blankets were pulled up; over his feet, his legs, his waist and torso- all the way to his shoulder.

The fingers smoothed down the cover, before he felt them ever so lightly pat his head. The hand withdrew, and Dave had just enough courage to turn his head.

Standing next to the bed was a humanoid figure with no face. The proportions were all wrong, and the creature's body was nearly see-through. Despite the downright creepiness of the specter, Dave could sense no ill intent in its actions.

"... Thanks." He whispered, making a show of snuggling deeper into the blanket. The thing bowed its head and began to fade away, until it was gone.

As soon as it vanished, Dave sat up, throwing the blanket off.

"Holy fuck." Karkat hissed, "Holy fuck what the fuck holy _fuck_-"

"Karkles, chill." Dave got up, giving his boyfriend a concerned look.

"Did you fucking see that thing?!" Karkat gasped.

"Yeah, I did. He tucked me in, I think he's okay."

"Wh- but he-"

"He didn't hurt me, did he?" Dave pointed out, walking over to the troll.

"But... no, but- what the hell was that?" Karkat stammered, snapping out of his state of shock.

"A ghost? Maybe? I dunno. The kindly spirit of a father, the bedroom guardian, the spectral tucker-inner." Dave shrugged, snorting. Karkat stared at him like he'd suddenly sprouted a second head.

"What in the shitting _hell_ are you talking about?"

"I dunno. Come on, let's go find more keys." Dave snickered, turning and heading for the two halls. After a moment's thought, he headed into the right hall, and Karkat followed right behind.

They stepped into a long, foggy room. On the left, the wall was lined with mirrors, while on the right was several tables, their tops covered in potted, golden flowers.

Karkat instantly stepped away from them; Dave couldn't blame him, and put himself between the troll and the plants. As they walked further into the room, he saw a few screens set up:

**ENTRY NUMBER 7**   
**We'll need a vessel to wield the Monster SOULS when the time comes. After all, a Monster cannot absorb the SOULS of other monsters. Just as a Human cannot absorb a Human SOUL... So then... What about something that's neither Human nor Monster?**

"Like a flower." Karkat finished for it.

"... Or a troll." Dave muttered.

"Don't say that." Karkat turned away, heading for the second screen:

**ENTRY NUMBER 10**   
**Experiments on the vessel are a failure. It doesn't seem to be any different than the control cases. Whatever. They're a hassle to work with anyway. The seeds just stick to you, and won't let go...**

The tables of flowers ended, and the rest of the room was just mirrors all the way down, until there was another doorway on the left.

They headed for it, both of them watching the mirrors. Karkat suddenly stopped in front of one of them, staring at his reflection.

"What's up?" Dave stopped beside him.

"Look." Karkat whispered.

Dave looked into the mirror, and saw a figure, standing several feet behind their reflections. He turned around, but was only met with wall. Turning back, the figure suddenly rushed forward, until _they burst out of the mirror_, which somehow didn't break. Both boys cried out and jumped back, Karkat's Soul bursting forth to meet the opponent.

Like the Memoryheads, the creature had no name as he selected Act. A single comma replaced where the name would be.

This creature, however, was nothing like the Memoryheads. It was a giant, white bird. A long, flamingo-like neck connected to a tiny body and battered, broken, and rather grotesque wings. Giant, taloned, two-toed feet stood on the ends of long, scaly legs, more like a dinosaur than anything.

It didn't help the bird's freaky appearance that the neck suddenly snapped in half, only for cord-like senews to coil out of the stumps and reconnect to the severed head. A head which contained absolutely enormous eyes, with markings that seemed familiar; Dave couldn't place where he'd seen them, though. The bird's feathers were dripping with a thick, white substance, like tar. It splattered the floor, where it began to steam on the tile.

Karkat looked over his options: Check, Mystify, Hum, Pick On, Clean, and Pray. He glanced up at the bird, before selecting Hum. He hummed a simple tune to the bird, but it didn't react. It opened its beak and spoke in a garbled, piercing voice, before a swam of butterflies burst out of its mouth. All they could make out of its words was "... Look?"

Karkat leaped back, alarmed, and dodged the insects quickly, before he selected Pick On.

"Hey, you freaky fuck!" He shouted at it. The bird shuddered, splattering more of the tar on the ground. It garbled at him again.

"... Afraid of?" It asked, before it's head exploded.

Several smaller bird heads flew towards Karkat, the beaks open and shrieking as they attempted to stab him. He managed to back away- his movement cramped by the narrow room- and avoid most of them by throwing himself to the floor. Still, one got lucky and stabbed its beak into his shoulder, making him cry out. As soon as he did, the heads vanished, his health dropping to 16. Grabbing his shoulder, Karkat checked his hand, and was relieved to see there was no blood.

He got to his feet, wincing, and the bird's head reformed as he chose Mystify. Thinking quickly, he pulled one of the gold coins. He held it up so the bird could see, before he opened his mouth and put it on his tongue. He closed his mouth and worked his tongue around, until the coin was tucked under it. He then opened his mouth again to show the bird that the coin had "vanished". The bird shrieked, flapping its deformed wings in surprise, before it launched another, heavier swarm of butterflies.

"You!" She crowed at the end of her distorted words. Karkat yelled- subsequently spitting out the coin- as the butterflies enveloped him. Unable to move much in the tiny space, he was struck several times, the butterflies slamming into him with the force of a thrown tennis ball. His HP dropped dangerously low, down to 4. Panting, Karkat reached for his items and pulled out and ate the Junk Food.

"... hope...?" The bird crooned, before its head burst again. His HP restored, Karkat dodged the heads easy enough. He selected Pray next, as the creature's head was put back together. He dropped to his knees and bowed his head, clasping his hands above his head. The bird went still.

"Someone finally gets it, ribbit ribbit. Have courage." She said, in three different voices. Looking up, Karkat saw her name was suddenly changed. Reaper Bird, it said, in yellow.

"Thank you, Reaper Bird." He murmured, selecting Spare. The bird cooed at her name, before she turned and walked back into the mirror. Karkat's Soul faded and he let out a breath. He got to his feet, and Dave stepped towards him; the Strider had retreated, back towards the flowers, when the fight had begun.

"You okay?" He asked.

"Yeah." Karkat sighed, brushing himself off. Dave smiled softly, kissing the troll's temple, before he spotted a descending staircase ahead.

"Good, come on." He took Karkat's hand and headed down the steps.

They entered another tiny room, with a key slot and note, except the slot here was blue, not yellow. Picking up the note, it simply had the word, "**Cold...**" scribbled on it. Dave frowned and dropped the paper.

"Fuck." Karkat huffed.

"Yeah. We'll have to come back." Dave hummed. Karkat nodded, and they left the room. They walked all the way back to the giant bedroom, before taking a right, down the other set of stairs. It lead them down to a hall that split into two directions, left and right. Karkat looked up at Dave, who hesitated a moment before striding off to the left, where a screen was waiting:

**ENTRY NUMBER 15**   
**Seems like this research was a dead end... But at least we got a happy ending out of it...? I sent the SOULS and vessel back to Asgore. And I called all of the families and told them everyone's alive. I'll send everyone back tomorrow :)**

"Holy shit." Karkat breathed.

"Yeah. Not zombies. Full on, brought back bitches." Dave agreed. Spotting another screen, he edged down the hall towards it:

**ENTRY NUMBER 16**   
**no nO NO NO NO NO NO NO**

Dave and Karkat looked at each other with matching expressions of confusion and alarm, and they quickly hurried on. Past the screen was another hall, which Dave swerved to enter.

It was a very short hall- more of a long room, if anything- at the end of which stood a bathtub, with a shower curtain pulled to conceal it. There was a figure moving behind the curtain.

Swallowing, Dave slowly approached, as Karkat hung back. The figure was bobbing its head back and forth, like it was dancing in the shower, and its movements grew faster and faster the closer Dave got. He stopped next to the tub and reached out. Steeling himself, his heart thundering, he grabbed the curtain and ripped it back.

Nothing.

Nothing but a green, shiny key, sitting in a puddle of water and suds. He picked it up, looking around; the rest of the bathtub was empty and spotless.

"... Thanks?" He said to no one, turning and walking back to Karkat. He forked over the key, and Karkat slipped it onto the ring as they left and carried on down the hall.

They stepped into another room, and both of them froze.

There was a giant, red-metaled machine, with a Save Point spinning in front of it. The machine looked like a giant, almost deer-like skull, with all kinds of thick tubes that connected to each other, back into the machine itself, or into the ceiling.

"That... that looks like-" Karkat swallowed, "Flowey." Dave looked down at him, and saw Karkat's breathing had gone awry.

"Yeah. Like his..." Dave put his thumbs on his cheeks, flexing his fingers in front of his mouth, "things."

Karkat nodded. Giving the machine a wide berth, Karkat headed for the Save Point. As he reached for it, it suddenly stopped spinning and turned white.

"Fuck!" Karkat leaped back, his Soul flying forth, as the "save point" suddenly morphed and grew into a large figure.

Before them stood a creature with a giant head, with a humongous mouth full of teeth the size of Dave's forearm. The creature's body was lithe and curved, but thick and heavyset, covered in green-white scales, and was giving off the strong smell of lemons, of all things. A ridge of thick, pustule-like orbs lined its back. A pair of muscled, thick arms were folded over its chest and it turned away from them, only twisting its head back to look at them. As narrowed, yellow eyes morphed out of its head, the creature dropped its jaw and roared.

Karkat pressed Act, and saw the name Lemon Bread. His options were Call, Scream, Unhug, Hum, Flex, and Cry.

"... Shyren?" Dave asked tepidly. Karkat looked at him.

"What?"

"She... she looks a little like Shyren." Dave blinked, before he focused on Karkat. "Let me take over." Karkat frowned, confused, but did as he asked. He switched to Mercy and chose Flee. Dave stepped forward, taking his place, his own Soul bursting forward as he selected Hum.

Instead of humming, though, he raised his hands to his mouth and began to beatbox. Lemon Bread shuddered, before she sang along.

"Welcome to my special hell." She sang to his beat, her voice viscerally deep and thunderous. She lunged for Dave, her teeth gnashing, and he jumped back quickly.

"Whoa, fuck-!" He dodged her snapping maw until she backed up again, and he pressed Flex instead, pulling back his sleeve to make his bicep bulge. Lemon Bread's muscles pulsed like she was flexing, too, before she lunged again.

"Stay here with me." She snarled, trying to bite the blonde again.

"No thanks, I'm good!" Dave quipped back, managing to sidestep her attacks. He reached out and pressed Unhug, quickly retreating several steps. Lemon Bread watched him go, a realization dawning in her eyes.

"I've... felt this before..." She murmured, backing away. Dave looked down and saw her name was in yellow. He Spared her, and she turned and glided away, out of sight.

His Soul faded, and Dave sighed, relieved. Looking around, he saw a screen posted on the other side of the machine. Walking around to it, it lit up as he approached:

**DT EXTRACTION MACHINE**   
**STATUS: INACTIVE**

"... Determination extraction?" Karkat guessed behind him.

"Makes sense. I can see why Flowey would... model himself after it."

"... Does that mean Flowey was... put together here?" Karkat asked, his voice soft.

"It's starting to look that way. That Lemon Bread... I think she might have been Shyren's sister. Remember Mets' journal? "Shyren's sister fell down recently.""

"That thing didn't look like Shyren." Karkat pointed out.

"Then it was only partly her. And partly... something else." Dave turned away from the screen and looked around; they'd passed a doorway when they'd walked over to the screen, but there was also another hall. He skirted Karkat- grabbing the troll's hand as he passed- and headed for the doorway.

They walked into a small room. While there was a key slot in the wall, on the right- for the yellow key- there was also an old TV, and two shelves, set on either side of the TV stand. Sat in front of the TV was a VHS player. On the left was another screen. Moving closer, Dave saw the shelves were full of VHS tapes; they were neatly organized and alphabetized, except for a few stray ones, covered in a sticky-looking substance. From their covers, they mostly looked like children's cartoons.

"Aw, man, remember VHSes?" He asked.

"No." Karkat scoffed, walking over to the key slot.

"Oh, right." Dave turned to the wall screen:

**ENTRY NUMBER 4**   
**I've been researching humans to see if I can find any info about their SOULS. I ended up snooping around the castle... and found these weird tapes. I don't feel like Asgore's watched them... I don't think he should.**

Dave read it out to Karkat, turning to scan the room; he spotted the aforementioned tapes, stacked next to the VHS player. Walking over, he saw they were numbered, one through five.

"Wanna watch some movies, dude?" Dave asked. Karkat glanced at the VHSes, then at the entry, and nodded slowly.

"Sure."


	56. Chapter 56

Karkat settled on the floor behind him as Dave picked up the VHS labeled with a number 1. He slid it into the player and hit the power button. The TV fizzled like it had turned on, and they heard the ratcheting whir of the VHS tape starting up, but it was still dark. Dave moved back, sitting next to Karkat. There was a brief flash of white static, before the video began.

_"Psst, Gorey, wake up."_ A woman's voice whispered from the TV, even though the screen was still black.

_"Mm? What is it, dear?"_ A man's voice answered, _"... er, and why do you have that video camera?"_

_"Shush! I want to get your reaction. Gorey, dearest, what is my favorite vegetable?"_

_"Hm... Carrots, right?"_

_"No no no! My favorite vegetable is... Eda-mom-e! ... Get it??"_

_"... Go back to bed, dear."_

_"No no! Not yet! Hee hee hee. Now, if I were a dog, what breed of dog would I be?"_

_"Hm... I don't know, honey. What kind of dog would you be?_

_"I would be... a Mom-eranian!"_

_"Hohoho! You sure are excited to have this child. You know, if you keep making jokes like this... One day, you could be... a famous Mom-edian."_

_"... Well, I'm going to bed."_

_"Hey, come on, Tori! That one was funny!"_

_"Hahaha, I know. I am just teasing you. Goodnight, dear."_

_"Goodnight, honey."_

_"... Oh dear, perhaps it is too dark in here for the video to come out..."_

The video ended there, and the tape was ejected partly from the player. Dave and Karkat looked at one another.

"Toriel and Asgore." Karkat said, unnecessarily.

"Yeah." Dave got up, pulling the first tape out and inserting tape two.

"... They were really in love, weren't they?" Karkat murmured.

"Seems like it." Dave sat back again, and the new video began to play. The sounds of birdsong and insect chirps came through, before a voice began to speak.

_"Okay, Chara, are you ready? Do your creepy face!"_ A young child- a boy, Dave guessed- said. _"Aahh!! Hee hee hee! Oh! Wait, I had the lens cap on..."_

There was a quiet voice in the background.

_"What? You're not going to do it again...? Come on, quit tricking me! Haha!"_

The tape ended there, and was spat out again. Dave got up to change them.

"Who was that? Who's Chara?" Karkat asked, frowning.

"I'm gonna take a guess and say that was Asriel." Dave hummed, "And I guess Chara was... the first human?"

"... Oh."

Dave slid in tape three and sat down again.

_"Howdy, Chara! Smile for the camera! Ha, this time I got you! I left the cap on... on purpose! Now you're smiling for nooo reason! Hee hee hee!" _Asriel giggled.

There was an inaudible voice in the background.

_"What? Oh, yeah, I remember. When we tried to make butterscotch pie for dad, right? The recipe asked for cups of butter... but we accidentally put in buttercups instead. Yeah! Those flowers got him really sick. I felt so bad. We made mom really upset. I should have laughed it off, like you did... um, anyway, where are you going with this?"_

The quiet voice spoke again.

_"Huh? Turn off the camera...? Okay."_

Dave sighed, getting up to change the tapes.

"What?"

"Nothing. Just wish we could see what's happening. And hear the other kid." He shrugged, putting in tape four. When he sat back down, Karkat leaned over and laid his head on Dave's shoulder, so Dave wrapped an arm around his waist.

_"I... I don't like this idea, Chara. Wh- what? N- no, I'm not... big kids don't cry." _Asriel sniffled.

Chara mumbled something.

_"Yeah, you're right."_

They couldn't make out what Chara said next, but it sounded questioning.

_"No! I'd never doubt you, Chara... never! We'll be strong! We'll free everyone. I'll go get the flowers."_

"Flowers." Karkat muttered as the tape ended and was spat out, "What the fuck is the deal with flowers?"

Dave didn't answer, simply pulling away from Karkat and putting in the final tape.

_"Chara... can you hear me? We want you to wake up..."_ Asriel whimpered.

_"Chara! You have to stay determined!"_ Asgore insisted, _"You can't give up... you are the future of humans and monsters."_

_"... Psst, Chara... please, wake up... I don't like this plan anymore. I... I..."_

A voice whispered faintly.

_"... No, I said... I said I'd never doubt you. Six, right? We just have to get six... And we'll do it together, right?_

The final tape was pushed out, and Dave leaned back on his hands, looking up at the ceiling as he thought.

"... So..." He sighed, scowling. Karkat looked up at him, waiting. "... Chara, the first human... they got sick and died, right? That's what the- the story said."

"Yeah?"

"... I don't think they just up and "got sick.""

Karkat frowned, puzzled, before it clicked. "... _Oh_. You mean-?"

"Yeah. Chara poisoned themself with those flowers."

"_Why_, though?"

Dave waved a hand at the TV. "So they and Asriel could free everyone. Asriel could take their Soul, go through the barrier, and get more Souls to break it." He sighed, sitting up. "They were just trying to help, I get that, but... jesus christ."

"They sacrificed themself for their family, but then..." Karkat's shoulders slumped.

"Asriel couldn't go through with it. For whatever reason. He didn't kill the humans- or maybe they killed him first. He came back, died, and their plan failed. Both of them died, and solved nothing." Dave nodded.

They sat in the room for several long, silent minutes, both of them lost in their own thoughts.

"Jesus fuck." Karkat muttered at last, running a hand through his own hair. He took a deep breath and dropped his arm. "Okay, so... That still doesn't explain several things, though."

Dave glanced at him. "Like?"

"Like... they've obviously all seen humans, then. So why am I the human between us? Flowey said it was because he wanted my Soul, but- that can't be all there is to it, right? And what happened to the original humans that were here before?"

Dave shook his head, unable to give his boyfriend the answers he wanted. After another minute, he got to his feet, stretching.

"If there's one place that'll give us any kind of clues, it's this place." He said firmly, "Let's go find the rest of the keys." He offered his hand to Karkat, who took it and got up.

Together, they left the room. They skirted the extraction machine and headed for the hall on the other side.

It quickly lead them into another room- a room that was so full of thick fog that they couldn't see; Dave could barely see Karkat's shoulder beside to him. The dead silence didn't help, either, nor did the sudden chill that swept over them like the steam; a creeping sensation of being watched made the hairs on the back of Dave's neck prickle.

One hand out in front of him, he groped blindly forward. His hand hit something solid, that was warm and slick with wetness. He quickly recoiled and swerved to avoid it. As they walked in further, a figure appeared in the smog.

It was only there for a moment, but it was humanoid in shape. As soon as Dave spotted it, it faded away again. Trying to ignore the shakiness in his breath, he fumbled along the wall, until the wall was suddenly no longer there. He fumbled, and felt the edge of the wall turn away from him; a doorway of some kind, he guessed. Tugging Karkat's hand, he stepped through it.

They entered a tiny, key slot room- this one meant for the green key. Karkat stepped forward, pulling out his phone, as Dave headed for the piece of paper that was waiting for them.

"**Curtain...**" Was all he could read.

Hearing the key click and activate, he turned back around.

"We only need the blue key, then." Dave announced, doing some quick math in his head.

"Good." Karkat answered. Taking one another's hands again, Dave lead the way back out.

They stepped into the fog again, and Dave stumbled his way forward. His hand slammed into something solid, metal, and cold.

"Fuck-" He withdrew his hand, startled, before slowly extending it again. Feeling around the object, he found a corner, and used it to guide him and Karkat around it. As they headed for the exit- there was no way in hell they'd find anything in there- Dave's hand brushed something soft, which reacted by letting out- what sounded like- a shuddering, soft breath.

He froze, but whatever it was had vanished. It took all the control he had not to react, and keep his pace at a walk.

Eventually, they found the exit again, and stepped back out into the extraction room.

"Well, what now?" Karkat pouted.

"Let's try that other hall." Dave suggested; if Karkat noticed the tremor in his voice, he didn't comment, only nodded. Taking a deep breath, Dave headed around the machine and into the other hall. Past the entry screens, they reached the crossroads, but kept going forward.

They entered a room that was also foggy, but much less so. An entry screen sat to their immediate left:

**ENTRY NUMBER 11**   
**Now that Mettaton's made it big, he never talks to me anymore. ... Except to ask when I'm going to finish his body. But I'm afraid if I finish his body, he won't need me anymore... Then we'll never be friends ever again. ... Not to mention, every time I try to work on it, I just get really sweaty...**

"Seems you're not the only one thirsty for Mettaton's robot ass." Karkat snorted. Dave resisted the urge to thump Karkat's head.

"No comment, officer." He replied, looking around the room instead. The left wall was covered, from ceiling to floor, with giant fans. At the far end of the room, Dave spied a switch of some kind. As he headed for it, Karkat tugged his hand to get his attention.

"Dave, look." He pointed upwards, making Dave look; floating above their heads were clusters of... something. They looked like white flecks of ice, almost, but they also looked... wet.

"Weird." Dave agreed.

They reached the switch, and Dave pressed it. There was a high pitched whine, before the fans all came to life. The fog was sucked up, leaving the room clear, except for the flecks. The flecks, in fact, began to gather together. As they watched, they formed a giant orb, the size of a beach ball, before it fell.

It hit the ground, only to spring back up and morph into a giant... dog? Dave blinked. It looked like a dog, it had ears and a body like a dog, except instead of a dog's muzzle, there was just... a void. a black, concaved hole, which was dripping a viscus white fluid. The... dog, had six legs, too, between which appeared five black shadows.

The shadows, too, looked like dogs, and walked in tandem with the white canine as it sluggishly approached. Dave couldn't pick out any features of the shadow-dogs, other than white, shining eyes.

Karkat had shuffled backwards, his eyes wide, and Dave recalled the torment he'd suffered at the hands of Dogamy, Dogaressa, and the others. Giving the troll's hand a reassuring squeeze, he stepped forward, his Soul flying forth to meet the dog.

When his boxes appeared, he selected Act, and saw the name Amalgamate. Curious, he hit Check:

_Amalgamate- it's unclear how many dogs this counts as._

The giant, white dog- who's fur was dribbling an oily substance on the floor- croaked, before globs of the fluid it was leaking was flung at Dave, who avoided it easily enough; the dog had no eyes with which to aim. He glanced at his options, and saw Beckon, Ignore, Pet, and Play. Remembering his battle against Greater Dog, he pressed Beckon, and whistled.

"Come 'ere, uh... good boys!" He called encouragingly. The dog and its shadows perked up, before the ooze it was drooling suddenly doubled. It bound towards him, skidding to a stop just in front of him; the thing was _huge_ up close, nearly twice as tall as Dave! It spat out more globs, which he sidestepped, quickly hitting Pet.

Swallowing his revulsion, he ran his hand through the oily fur. "Good boys!" He praised again, only to watch the monster dog convulse with excitement. It dropped its head, laying its chin on Dave's head for a moment.

When Dave dropped his hand, though, it suddenly shot away, and began climbing the wall, it's claws digging into the grates over the fans. It groaned, loud and long, like it was trying to howl, before it's paws began to batter the metal grates.

"Uh... Okay." Glancing at his options, he chose Play. Thinking quickly, he pulled out his phone and tossed it to the far end of the room. The Amalgamate snapped its head around and croaked, before it bound after it. Scooping it up, it carried it back in its face-hole, before dropping it proudly into Dave's outstretched hand. Dave was relieved to see it wasn't broken, although it was very slimy now. Amalgamate was shaking with anticipation, so he threw it again.

They repeated this a few times, before Amalgamate grunted. It slumped against Dave's chest tiredly, and Dave Pet it reassuringly. The dog began to convulse and huff, the ooze it was drooling becoming frothy as it streaked down his shirt. Gross, but Dave continued petting it.

Amalgamate suddenly stopped and pulled away, it and its shadow-dogs looking at him intensely. When Dave checked the name, he saw it had changed; Endogeny, it said now, in yellow. "Good Endogeny." He assured it as he pressed Spare.

The dog convulsed a final time, before it turned and merged through the wall of fans. Dave's Soul faded, and he looked down at his shirt. It was streaked with oil, ooze, and froth.

"Fucking ew." He muttered. Behind him, Karkat snorted.

"Let's go back to the Save and get you cleaned off." He suggested. Dave wasn't going to argue. Karkat moved around him- keeping his distance so he didn't get slimed, and lead the way back to the bedroom. The whole way, they heard the drone of the fans overhead. "They might have cleared the fog in the other room." Karkat suggested as they stepped into the bedroom. He activated the Save, and Dave was relieved to feel the mess on his shirt- and phone- dry up as he was surrounded by the golden light.

"A'ight, cool. Let's check it out." Dave agreed.

Sure enough, when they got back to the room, the fog had cleared, revealing the room's contents.

Five silver refrigerators were set out in a line, in the middle of the room. Several fans overhead were whirling as they sucked up the last of the fog, and a trio of entry screens lined the wall. The tile here had changed, to a dark, sickly green, and Dave saw the doorway they'd gone through before. Ignoring the fridges for the time being, Dave walked over to the screens:

**ENTRY NUMBER 19**   
**The families keep calling me to ask when everyone is coming home. What am I supposed to say? I don't even answer the phone anymore.**

**ENTRY NUMBER 20**   
**Asgore left me five messages today. Four about everyone being angry, and one about this cute teacup he found that looks like me. Thanks, Asgore.**

**ENTRY NUMBER 21**   
**I spend all my time at the garbage dump now. It's my element.**

"... What happened to the... bodies?" He asked no one.

"Whatever happened, it fucked Alphys up." Dave muttered. He stared at the screens, thinking. "Hang on, we missed one. We haven't seen a number seventeen yet." He said, looking around like he expected it to appear out of the wall.

"It's probably around here somewhere. Let's look for the blue key." Karkat said dismissively, heading for the first fridge. Dave hummed, following.

Opening the first fridge, the boys were disappointed to find it empty.

The second fridge was full of jars, beakers, and vials, full of samples of some kind, their labels faded. Dave quickly shut it, not even wanting to know.

The third fridge was shaking. Dave opened that one, ready for a Fight, but they were only met with empty shelves.

The fourth fridge, too, was full of samples.

And the fifth, was empty.

Dave frowned, stumped. "Well... fuck." He said. He looked around, but there was nothing else in the room. "Let's go look-" He began, turning away, when the fifth fridge suddenly began shaking. Turning around quickly, it suddenly dissolved into a puddle of goo. "What the fuck-?!"

Just as quickly, the goo formed into a figure, which flew at them.

Karkat jumped forward, his Soul emerging.

The amalgamation before them looked like a mix of a Snowdrake and Vegetoid, half melted and dripping goo. Where a Snowdrake's eyes would have been, the Vegetoid faces leered at them, A strange crest of some kind was keeping them bound together as the creature shuffled forward, the air becoming very cold around them.

With a pang of grief and shock, Dave realized what had happened to the bodies.

"Oh god..." He whispered, eyes widening, "That's..."

Karkat wasn't listening; he pressed Act, and then Check:

_Amalgamate- 0 ATK 0 DEF_   
_Seems like it's losing itself._

"S... no... wy..." The poor thing shuddered, a broken and wretched wing flung towards Karkat. Crescent shaped icicles burst from the wing, only to fall to the floor and shatter before even getting close to him. Karkat blinked, stunned, and checked his options, which were Heckle, Joke, and Laugh. He pressed Joke.

"It's... _snow_ nice to meet you." He tried, feeling himself die inside from having to use a pun. The creature's expression shifted slightly, its- her- head rising slightly.

"Haha... I... remem... ber..." She gurgled, releasing another attack that fell very short. Encouraged, Karkat pressed Joke again.

"Want to hang out and _chill_ later?" He asked through gritted teeth. Her face shifted, until she was smiling softly.

"Haha... Than...k you..." She groaned. She didn't attack this time, and he chose Joke one final time.

"It was _snow_ n-_ice_ to meet you." He told her. Snowdrake's Mother bowed her head, sighing happily. Her name turned Yellow, but Karkat didn't even have to Spare her; she backed away and fled, dropping a blue, metallic key on the floor as she went.

His Soul faded, and he stepped forward to collect the key.

"Karks..." Dave murmured, making Karkat look up. "All those dead monsters, they... they're the amalgamates." He said, his voice cracking. Karkat stiffened in shock, his pupils swelling.

"... Oh... No wonder Alphys couldn't say anything, then... how could she explain... jesus fuck." Karkat muttered. Dave nodded, swallowing past a sudden lump in his throat. Karkat walked over and took his hand. "Hey." He said gently, making Dave focus on him, "Deep breath. Look, this is the final key. Let's go stick it in its slot and get out of here, and we can track down Alphys to see if we can help her and... them." He suggested.

Dave managed to nod, and let Karkat lead him out of the room. Back through the halls, into the bedroom, and into the hall of flowers and mirrors. They turned left into the room with the blue slot, and Karkat slid the key home. When the light turned blue, he stepped away, and silently guided Dave back. Back through the bedroom, through the long hall, and they stepped back into the room with the giant doors and snack machine.

All four lights on the doors were lit up, the doors beeping faintly and steadily. Karkat crossed the room to the Save Point and activated it- just to be safe- before turning to the door.

Dave, who'd managed to collect himself by then, squeezed his fingers gently.

"Ready?"

Karkat nodded, and they headed for the doors.


	57. Chapter 57

The doors ground open, and Dave and Karkat stepped into... an elevator.

An elevator with two sets of doors. The button grid on the wall was completely dark; out of power.

"What the hell?" Dave asked. He was expecting something more along the lines of heavy machinery and an on/off switch.

"Must be the backup elevator." Karkat shrugged as they turned towards the second door.

"I get that, but... It's weird." Dave shook his head.

"That's weird? Not the half-melted corpses walking around?" Karkat asked, giving him a disbelieving look. Dave snickered.

"Nah man, I'm used to that shit."

They stepped through the second doorway and found themselves in a relatively short hall, with a pair of entry screens on the wall. Dave moved towards the first one, but it didn't light up; it, too, was out of power. As was the second one. They moved past them and found the hall took a right turn, through another doorway.

Passing through, they found themselves in a giant room, at the end of which stood an enormous machine that was pulsing with energy; the ground below their feet was shaking subtly, the drone of the mechanics inside filling Dave's ears. He stepped forward to examine it.

There were a mass of buttons, levers, dials, and knobs, all gathered on a central port in the wall. A small screen below all of it was rapidly filling with red text, so fast that Dave couldn't keep up. Above the control panel was a glass case, inside of which was a plastic, heart-shaped light. Huge, vibrating tubes came out of the wall and ceiling to plug into the base. As Dave looked around, he spotted several switches and buttons labeled different things. Most of them were faded; there were only two he could read. One that was simply labeled with the number "17", and the other marked "Elevator power". Naturally, he hit the second option, and heard the machine begin to start up, like the fans in a computer whirring to life.

"Uh, Dave? We've got company."

Karkat's words made him turn, and he saw the amalgamations had entered the room, unnoticed until now. The undead monsters were strung out in a line and advancing on the two of them. Alarmed, Dave backed up until his back hit the wall- unintentionally pressing a few buttons-, and he pulled Karkat back with him.

Just as the creatures were closing in, a voice called out.

"Hey! Stop!"

The amalgamates froze and turned to look, shuffling to the sides to let none other that Doctor Alphys through.

"I got you guys some food, okay!?" She huffed. The creatures perked up, before they began to shuffle out of the room. Alphys watched them go, before she turned to Dave and Karkat. "S- sorry about that. They get kinda sassy when they don't get fed on time. I think they smelled the potato chips you had, and... anyway! The power went out, and I've been trying to turn it back on! But it seems like you were one step ahead of me. This was probably just a big inconvenience for you... B- but I appreciate that you guys came here to back me up! As I said, I was afraid I might... not come back..." She looked down at her feet, wrapping an arm around herself, before she looked up sharply. "But that's not because of these guys or anything! I was just worried that I'd be too afraid... to tell the truth..." She looked away again, "That I might run away, or do something... cowardly."

"Alphys..." Karkat looked relieved to see her, whatever he was going to say dying in his throat.

Dave was barely listening, barely processing what the doctor said as a tidal wave of relief crashed through him; she was alive, she was okay, he thought, glad his back was against the wall- otherwise he had no doubt he would have toppled, his legs suddenly weak. Karkat seemed to be feeling the same way, the troll's grip on his hand like a vice.

"Uh... I... I suppose I owe you two an explanation." Alphys was saying, and Dave forced himself to focus again.

"That'd be nice." He agreed. Alphys took a deep breath.

"As you probably know, Asgore asked me to study the nature of Souls. During my research, I isolated a power called "determination". I injected it into dying monsters so their Souls would last after death. ... But the experiment failed. You see, unlike humans', monsters' bodies don't have enough... physical matter to take those concentrations of "determination". Their bodies started to melt, and lost what physicality they had. Pretty soon, all the test subjects had melted together into..." She glanced at the doorway, "Those."

"Seeing them like this, I knew I couldn't tell their families about it. I couldn't tell anyone about it. No matter how much everyone was asking me. And I was too afraid to do anymore work, knowing... everything I'd done so far had been such a horrific failure." She glanced up to see their reactions. Dave wasn't exactly sure _how_ he should react; his heart went out to the miserable scientist; she'd been trying so hard to help everyone, only for it to all come crashing down, leaving her broken and depressed. He _felt_ that, he knew what that was like. Alphys' eyes searched his face for a long moment, before she took a breath.

"But now. Now I've changed my mind about all this." She continued, "I'm going to tell everyone what I've done." She looked at her feet again, her grip on herself tightening, "... It's going to be hard. Being honest... Believing in myself... I'm sure there will be times where I'll struggle. I'm sure there will be times where I screw up again. But knowing, deep down, that I have friends to fall back on..." She looked up at them again, the smallest hint of a smile on her features, "I know it'll be a lot easier to stand on my own." She stepped forward slightly. "... Thank you."

Dave's throat had gone tight on him, but he managed to nod. Karkat, too, nodded to the doctor, a sense of pride gleaming in his silver eyes. A noise at the doorway made all three of them look; the amalgamates were peering into the room, watching the doctor expectantly. She turned to them, smiling kindly.

"Come on, guys. It's time for everyone to go home." She turned and waddled away, and they followed. Dave and Karkat looked at one another, silent, before a loud hiss went off behind them. Dave leaped away from the wall, alarmed, and spun around to look.

When he and Karkat had backed up, one of them had shouldered the button labeled "17". A panel in the machine had slid open, which explained the hiss.

Inside the panel was a small shelf, barely the size of a dinner plate. On said shelf, was a frayed, black, leather bound journal.

""Within the lab, you must find my journal."" Karkat breathed. Dave slowly nodded, reaching out with a suddenly shaky hand to pick up the book. He released Karkat's hand and opened it.

Inside, scrawled in a rather neat writing, were symbols- symbols Dave recognized.

"Oh my fucking god. It's written in wingdings." He muttered. Karkat blinked at him.

"Wingdings?"

"Yeah. It's a sort of code that kids used on the internet way back in the day. From like, the first years of the internet."

"Oh. Can you read it?" Karkat looked over his shoulder as Dave rifled through the pages; the symbols went on forever, before they suddenly came to a halt only a few pages in. The rest of the pages were blank, except the very last one, which only had a few lines of symbols at the bottom.

"Yeah, kinda. I think I need a translator though." Dave closed the book and pulled out his phone. He tapped at a few apps, but none of them responded. "Ah, fuck. There's no connection down here. Let's head back to the surface and I'll see about this thing." He suggested. Karkat eyed the journal skeptically.

"Should we take it out of here? I mean, it was probably hidden for a reason, right?"

"It's... probably fine." Dave frowned, stuffing his phone in his pocket. Karkat turned his skeptical eyes on the Strider for a moment, before he turned away.

"Fine, let's go."

They left the room and headed back for the elevator, the book tucked under Dave's arm. As they passed the entry screens on the wall, they suddenly lit up; a brief image of a red, smiling face appeared, before it was replaced with red text:

**ENTRY NUMBER 8**   
**I've chosen a canidate. I haven't told Asgore yet, because I want to surprise him with it.**   
**In the center of his garden, there's something special. The first golden flower, that grew before all the others. The flower from the outside world. It appeared just before the queen left. I wonder... What happens when something without a SOUL gains the will to live?**

Silently, they moved to the second one:

**ENTRY NUMBER 18**   
**The flower is gone.**

Karkat and Dave looked at each other; Karkat's pupils had reduced to slits, his eyes wide. Dave could feel his heart thundering against his ribs.

"You were right." He whispered, "Flowey _was_ made here. Alphys... created Flowey."

Karkat looked at the red text again. "... Do you think she knows? Should we... tell her?"

"No, and no." Dave shook his head, "I don't think she could handle that, on top of everything else." He forced himself to turn away and head for the elevator.

"Then what do we do?" Karkat asked as he followed.

"We deal with the little fucker ourselves." Dave said.

They stepped into the elevator. Before Dave could consider pressing a button, Karkat's phone went off. Surprised, Karkat pulled it out and answered it.

"Karkat... are you there?" A voice they'd never heard before came through, "You've done well. Thanks to you, everything has fallen into place. Karkat... See you soon."

"Who is-" Karkat began, before a pair of loud bangs interrupted them. Whirling around, the boys had enough time to see the doors crash shut, sealing them inside, before the elevator took off, rocketing upwards so fast they both stumbled. Dave cried out and grabbed the wall to stay upright, dropping the journal as he did so, and reached out to snatch Karkat's shoulder to keep him on his feet, too.

"You okay?!" He shouted over the roar of the engines. Karkat didn't get a chance to respond, as the elevator slammed to a halt, making them tumble once more. Dave fell back against the wall, his feet sliding out from under him. Karkat clung to the handrail so he didn't go down, as the doors swished open.

Both boys quickly got to their feet- Dave grabbing the journal on his way- and they rushed out of the elevator.

Only to find themselves back in the halls of the king's castle.

"What the fuck?!" Karkat turned to look at Dave, before his eyes widened, "_What the fuck?!_" He repeated, backing away as he stared over Dave's shoulder. Dave turned, and saw the elevator doors, now shut, were being sealed off and overgrown with thick, pulsing, green vines.

"... No going back, then." Dave said at last, admittedly unnerved by such a rapid change of events, "Let's just... keep going."

"What about the journal?" Karkat frowned, tearing his gaze away from the vines.

"It'll have to wait." Dave said firmly. He stepped forward and took Karkat's hand. Karkat hesitated, glancing at the vines again, but the desire to get away from them overruled his hesitations. He let Dave guide him through the halls, back to the other elevator. This one closed gently behind them and hummed up to the next floor, before dinging softly and opening again.

They stepped out and kept going, entering the golden light-dappled hall where Sans had confronted them. With a leap of his heart into his chest, Dave saw the Save Point and box were gone. He swallowed, and kept going.

The silence in the air was deafening, punctured only by their footsteps.

All too soon, they were back in front of the throne room. Karkat glanced down the hall, towards the basement full of coffins, as they ducked through the arch.

Their footsteps became hushed as they walked through the garden of flowers, Dave taking care not to tread on any of them. They passed into the back room. Time seemed to become hazy and sluggish as they walked towards the engraved, ancient columns ahead; beyond which, laid the barrier. The Save Point here had not vanished, and Karkat activated it.

He stared at the glimmering star for a moment, before he looked up at Dave.

"Round two, babe. You ready?" Dave asked him. Karkat nodded wordlessly, a feeling Dave couldn't place flickering behind his eyes.


	58. Chapter 58

Karkat took the lead as they stepped through the archway, his hand like a vice around Dave's fingers. He wanted to look back, to tell Dave he loved him, to grasp him tightly and kiss him one last time- but, no, he told himself firmly. This was not a "one last time" situation. Things were different now. What all was different, he couldn't say, but he felt it. He'd get to do all of that again, when this was all over.

As they stood before the barrier, the king, and the end, Karkat tried let go of Dave's hand. He tried to release him, to step forward, but Dave held fast.

Karkat looked down at their conjoined fingers, then up at the Strider. Dave's gaze bore into him with an almost aching, needy intensity. Karkat felt the barest hint of a smile flicker over his face, and readjusted his grip on Dave. He used his free hand to pull his ebony sickle from his belt. Dave stuffed the black journal into his pocket, before he extended his hand to the side, and his fingers closed around the handle of his sword as it materialized in his palm.

Asgore did not turn to look at them, did not react to their arrival.

"This is the barrier." He said, not for the first time, "This is what keeps us all trapped underground. ... If... If by chance you have any unfinished business... please do what you must."

"We already have." Karkat replied.

"... I see. This is it, then." The king slowly turned to face him. "Ready?" Like before, he waved his hand, and the seven jars containing the six Souls appeared. Karkat forced himself to not look at the seventh, empty, waiting jar.

Through the barrier, a twilight light seemed to bleed through the infinite, pulsing wall, the feeling of heavy, murky magic settling over them like a fog. Yet, Karkat did not feel weighed down by the presence of the barrier, nor the king. He felt, if anything, determined.

His Soul, too, burst from his chest with a renewed vigor; Dave's Soul, however, did not. It was not his fight to fight, but he was not about to let Karkat wage his battle alone.

The thrill of the fight did not shoot through Karkat this time, but seeped into his bones like the warmth of a fire on a winter's night. Even then, it did not blast through him, like an adrenaline rush and excitement, but a steadying, solid sensation that grounded him into himself harder than anything had before; he could feel himself, fully and completely, and understood where he was standing in space and time. His option boxes shimmered to life, and he bid his Mercy box goodbye as Asgore blinked at him sadly.

"Human..." He said softly, his voice contrite, "It was nice to meet you. ... Goodbye."

Asgore tensed, ready to reveal his glorious armor and weapon, and Karkat braced himself for it, before it all abruptly stopped.

Between them appeared a concentrated orb of blue, flickering fire.

"What-" Karkat got no further as the fire suddenly rushed towards Asgore, barreling into him like a bull, so hard that it threw the king off his feet and sent him sprawling on the ground, his armor making a horrendous shriek as it skated over the floor. He crashed on his back as the fire dispersed.

"What a miserable creature, torturing such a poor, innocent pair of youths." A voice spoke behind them.

Dave and Karkat whipped around, Karkat's heart leaping into his throat at the figure before them.

"Toriel!" They cried at the same time as, lo and behold, the kindly goat woman stepped through the arch, momentarily silhouetted against the light. Karkat felt his heart soar with delight- and on some level, relief- as their old companion stepped forward.

"Do not be afraid, my children. It is I, Toriel, your friend and guardian." She smiled, stepped around them to place herself between them and the still-downed Asgore; Karkat's Soul faded as a result, his option boxes disintegrating. "At first, I thought I would let you make your journey alone, but I could not stop worrying about you two. Your adventure must have been so treacherous."

"You have no idea." Dave croaked, awed.

"And ultimately, it would burden you with a horrible choice. To leave this place, you would have to take the life of another person. You would have to defeat Asgore. However... I realized I cannot allow that. It is not right to sacrifice someone, simply to let someone leave here." She shook her head slowly, blinking at them in earnest, "Is that not what I have been trying to prevent this whole time? So... So for now, let us suspend this battle." She turned and looked at over her shoulder at the king, who was slowly trying to get to his feet. A look of disdain crossed her features, before she turned back. "As terrible as Asgore is, he deserves Mercy, too."

"Tori... you came back...!" Asgore had gotten up, and was limping nearer. Toriel rounded on him, a fierce expression on her face as she stepped closer to Dave and Karkat, planting herself in his way.

"Do not "Tori" me, Dreemurr! You pathetic whelp! If you had really wanted to free our kind, you could have gone through the barrier after you got _one_ Soul, taken _six_ Souls from the humans, then come back freed everyone peacefully!" She spat, making the goat man recoil, "But instead, you made everyone live in despair, because you would rather wait here, meekly hoping another human never comes."

Asgore opened his mouth, scowling, before he seemed to think better of it and dropped his gaze. "... Tori... you're right..."

"You douchebag!" Karkat shouted, appalled, "You could've just taken one fucking Soul and gone, but you were scared of some bullshit like another war?!" Dave held back the urge to laugh, squeezing Karkat's hand in comfort. Asgore bowed his head.

"I am a miserable creature." He conceded, before daring to glance up at Toriel, "But... do you think we can at least be friends again?"

Dave sucked air through his teeth. "Oof, dude... bad move." He muttered as Toriel heaved a heavy sigh.

"No, Asgore." She rumbled, wrinkling her muzzle in disgust.

"NNGAAHHHH! Asgore! Human! Dave!" A thunderous woman's voice made them all turn to see Undyne marching through the archway, her teeth bared and eyes narrowed.

"Undyne?!" Karkat yelped, shocked, as Dave's jaw fell open.

"Nobody fight each other! Everyone's gonna make friends, or else I'll-" The Royal Guard captain continued, before she broke off, having noticed Toriel, "I'll..." She blinked, coming to a halt.

"Hello!" Toriel said cheerily, "I am Toriel. Are you these boys' friend? It is nice to meet you." Undyne did a double take, before her face split in a big grin.

"Uh, yeah...? Nice to meet you!" She returned, before she sidled over to Asgore, who was staring at his feet unhappily. "Hey, Asgore." Undyne hissed, just loud enough for Karkat to catch her words, "Is that your ex? Jeez, that's rough, buddy."

"H- hey!" A new voice called meekly, making them once again turn to the door as Dr. Alphys shuffled in, "N- No- Nobody hurt each other!"

Dave and Karkat looked at each other, as Toriel perked up.

"Oh! Are you another friend? I am Toriel! Hello!" She called. Alphys flinched backwards a step, before padding forward again, coming to a stop just behind the boys. Dave turned and gave her an encouraging look.

"Uh, h- h- hi!" The doctor smiled nervously, before looking between Asgore and Toriel. She leaned closer to Dave. "There's two of them??" She whispered, bewildered.

"Yeah. Shit's crazy." Dave whispered back. Alphys gave the tiniest laugh, before she shuffled over to Undyne, who's grin only broadened as the doctor joined her.

"Hey! Nobody fight anyone!" A third voice shouted. Karkat whipped around, his face lighting up.

"Papyrus!"

The lanky skeleton marched through the door and struck a pose, sticking out a hipbone and placing his fist on it. "If anyone fights anyone...! Then I'll!! Be forced!! To ask Undyne for help!" He declared. Dave, Undyne, and Alphys all laughed.

"Hello!" Toriel waved at the wannabe guard. Papyrus looked up at her, surprised.

"Oh! Hello, your majesty!" He said, before he frowned. He walked over to Karkat and bent down. "Psst, hey, human... did Asgore shave?" He glanced at Asgore himself, "... And clone himself?"

"Uh... not quite. Fuck, Papyrus, I-"

"Hey, guys. What's up?"

It was Dave's turn to whirl around, his sword falling from his hand and clattering to the floor.

_"SANS!!"_ He bellowed joyously. Before anyone could move, he shot off, barreling into the stout skeleton and hugging him tightly.

"Whoa, uh, hey, kiddo." Sans laughed, returning the embrace.

"That voice...!" Toriel suddenly gasped. She slid past Karkat and Papyrus- and Karkat moved to follow her- a pensive smile on her face, "Hello, I think we may... know each other?" She greeted the small skeleton as Karkat gently pried Dave off of him. Dave, torn between tears and giddiness, clutched Karkat's arm.

Sans looked up at her, his eye sockets stretching wide. "Oh, hey... I recognize your voice, too!" He grinned, stuffing his hands in his coat pockets.

"I am Toriel." Toriel introduced herself, bowing slightly, "So nice to meet you."

"The name's Sans." He winked, "And, uh, same."

Toriel straightened up, a look of realization crossing her face. "Oh, wait, then!" She turned and looked at Papyrus, "This must be your brother, Papyrus! Greetings, Papyrus! It is nice to finally meet you! Your brother has told me so much about you."

Papyrus grinned, his cheekbones turning pink. "Wowie... I can't believe Asgore's clone knows who I am!! This is the best day of my life!!"

Toriel chuckled, sharing a glance with Sans. "Hey, Papyrus. What does a skeleton tile his roof with?" She asked innocently.

Papyrus tipped his skull to the side, clacking his teeth together in thought. "Hmm... snow-proof roof tiles?"

"No, silly!" Toriel giggled, "A skeleton tiles his roof with... shin-gles!"

Papyrus' jawbone fell in horror, his eye sockets bulging wide as Sans, Dave, and Toriel proceeded to laugh. Karkat groaned.

"I changed my mind!" The tall skeleton announced, "This is the _worst_ day of my life!" The other three only laughed harder.

"Come on, Asgore." Karkat and Dave turned to see Undyne and Alphys had been comforting the sullen king, "It's gonna be okay. There are plenty of fish in the sea..." The fish woman continued, putting a hand on Asgore's shoulder.

"Y- yeah, Asgore!" Alphys chipped in, "Undyne's totally right about that fish thing! S- sometimes you've just got to, uh... s- stop going after furry boss monsters and, uh..." She glanced quickly at Undyne, "J- just get to know a really cute fish...?" She seemed to realize what she said, her cheek scales darkening as she looked away. At the same time, Undyne's cheeks turned dark blue and she pointedly looked at the wall. "I... It's a metaphor." Alphys stammered.

"Well!" Undyne said loudly, "I think it's a good analogy."

"Oh my Gooood~!" A familiar, sultry, robotic voice crooned from outside the doorway, "Will you two just smooch already?! The audience is _dying_ for some romantic action~!" They heard Mettaton laugh.

"Hey, shut up!" Undyne shouted after him as his laughter faded away. She balled her hands into fists, "Man, the nerve of that guy! Right, Alphys?" She looked down at the doctor, who was staring at the doorway, a hazy look in her eyes. "Uh, Alphys?" Undyne prodded.

"... No, he's right! Let's do it!" Alphys announced, looking up sharply.

"Huh???" Undyne took a half-step back, alarmed, her whole face going blue, "I- Well?? Uh...? I guess? I- if you want to?? Then?" She stammered, before a shy smile crawled across her face, "Don't hold anything back!" She knelt down, and Alphys stepped closer.

Before they could get much further, however, Toriel seemed to materialize between them, having rocketed across the room.

"Wait! Not in front of the boys!" She cried, pushing them gently apart. Dave tried to cover his laugh with a cough.

Alphys backed up, alarmed. "Uhh, right! Sorry, I got a little carried away there." She said, twisting her claws together anxiously. Undyne stood back up, nodding.

Toriel giggled as Papyrus and Sans moved to join the others. The queen finally turned to look at Karkat and Dave again.

Dave, having recovered from his episode, had collected his sword and was once again hand in hand with Karkat. As they stood before the line of their companions- their _friends_\- a feeling of pride and exuberance welled up in his chest, flushing through him like a dam had burst. Karkat's face was shining with poorly contained glee and comfort, a gravelly purr rolling lowly in his throat.

"My children, it seems as if you must stay here for a while." Toriel said kindly, "But looking at all the great friends you have made, I think... I think you will be happy here."

Karkat's face fell slightly; they couldn't stay, though... That was the whole point of their journey. They had to go home... although they'd been in the underground already, what? A few days? Weeks, maybe? It was impossible to tell time down there. If it took a little longer to break the barrier, then...

"H- hey, that reminds me," Alphys' words snapped him out of his thoughts, as she turned to Papyrus "Papyrus, _you_ called everyone here, right? Well, besides, uh, her. Uh, anyway, if I got here before you, how did you know to call everybody?" She asked.

Papyrus smirked. "Let's just say... _a tiny flower helped me_."

Alphys, Dave, Sans, and Karkat all stiffened. "A tiny... flower?" Alphys repeated in a small voice.

And then the room erupted into chaos.

With a thunderous, rumbling _bang_, the walls exploded open, and giant, grasping, thorny vines burst from the rubble, snatching up each monster in turn. Asgore, Undyne, Toriel, Sans, Alphys, and Papyrus were all grabbed, wrapped in vines, and heaved into the air as even more vines laced around the room, covering the doorway. Karkat and Dave, trapped in the middle of the room, instinctively pressed together, looking around in a panic. They were all shouting, before the tentacle-like plants squeezed the monsters into silence, the thorns burrowing into their skin and making them cry out in pain.

From the floor, in front of Karkat and Dave and below the suspended monsters, out burrowed none other than Flowey.

"You_ idiots!_" He shrieked, "While you guys were having your little pow-wow, I took the human Souls!" He cackled, his demonic sneer stretching across his face, "And now, not only are _those_ under my power, but all of your friend's Souls are gonna be mine, too!"

"You little motherfucker!" Dave snarled, as Flowey laughed.

"And you know what the best part is?" He continued as if Dave hadn't spoken, "It's all your fault!" He rounded on Karkat, his teeth bared in a malicious, mocking smile, "It's all because you made them love you! All the time you spent listening to them... encouraging them... caring about them...!! Without that, they wouldn't have come here!"

"Shut your fucking mouth, you fucking piece of-"

"And now, with their Souls and the humans' together... I will achieve my real form!" He crowed, exhilarated.

"The last one wasn't your real form?!" Dave cried.

"Why the fuck are you still doing this?!" Karkat shouted at the same time. Flowey shook his head.

"_Don't you get it?_" He spat, scowling, "This is all just a_ game!_ If you leave the underground satisfied, you'll "win" the game! If you "win", you won't want to "play" with me anymore! And what would I do then?"

"The only thing I want to play with is your fucking corpse!" Karkat snarled, baring his teeth. Flowey returned the expression.

"Ah, but this game between us will _never _end! I'll hold victory in front of you, just within your reach... and then_ tear it away,_ just before you grasp it!" He cracked his head to the side, his eyes wide and deranged, "Over! And over! And over!" He squealed, before he cackled again. Karkat growled, but it was Dave who lunged forward.

"Dave, wait, no-!" Karkat tried to grab him, but Flowey reached him first.

The vines that covered the walls and floor and doorway suddenly shot towards the Strider, snatching him up. Dave screamed, his blade falling to the floor, where a pair of vines grasped it so hard it snapped.

"Dave!" Karkat bellowed as the human was whisked upwards to join the others. Dave writhed, snarling and spitting like a mad animal, before the vines tightened around him, choking the air from his lungs and digging their thorns into his flesh. Karkat rounded on Flowey. "Release him!" He ordered.

Flowey stopped laughing and suddenly composed himself, smirking at the troll reproachfully, "Listen. If you _do_ defeat me, I'll give you your "happy ending". I'll bring your friends back. I'll destroy the barrier. Everyone will finally be satisfied." He snickered, "But that _won't_ happen! I'll keep you here no matter what!" Karkat let out a strangled squeal as his Soul was flung from his chest. It hurt! It really fucking hurt, like it had been forcefully ripped out of him, and his legs nearly gave out as the pain rocked through him. At the same time, Flowey's bullets materialized in a circle around him. "Even if it means killing you a million times!" Flowey roared, his demonic laughter thundering in Karkat's ears.

The troll could only scream as the circle of bullets shot towards him.

They ripped through him, his vibrant blood spraying the ground and soaking his clothes as he cried out, only to be cut off with a choking gurgle as blood filled his throat. He slumped to his knees, his HP falling to 13. A second circle surrounded him and tore through his flesh, cutting him down to 6. He coughed up a mouthful of cherry blood, doubling over, unable to scream as the pain snatched away his voice. And again, a third ring of bullets shred him apart, his HP hitting 1. The glow that surrounded his Soul went out.

A final, fourth circle wreathed around him.

"D... aahh... ve..." He rasped, his senses escalated to something beyond agony. He managed to raised his head and watched the bullet's tauntingly slow approach. Just as they paused, ready to rip him through, a ring of blue fire flickered to life around him, burning the bullets into dust. Flowey's laughter stopped as he stared at the flames, which vanished as quickly as they had appeared.

"What-?"

"D- do not be afraid, my child." Karkat looked up and saw Toriel, with her eyes bright with agony, but a strained smile on her face, "No matter what happens, we will always be there to protect you."

"No!" Flowey spat, and a line of bullets appeared on Karkat's left. They shot towards him, but a line of gigantic bones ripped up, out of the ground beside him and blocked their way. Flowey hissed, a row of pellets coming for the troll's right, only to be stopped by a wall of blue-glowing spears. Karkat stared, forcing himself to sit up slowly.

"That's right, human!" Papyrus cried, his voice thick with pain, "You can win! Just do what I would do! Believe in _you!_"

"Hey, human! If you got past _me_, you can do anything!" Undyne gasped, "So don't worry! We're here with you all the way!" She forced a suffering smile onto her face.

"Huh? You haven't beaten this guy yet?" Sans managed to pry his eye sockets open and look down at Karkat, sweat dripping down his skull, "Come on! This weirdo's got nothin' on you!" He insisted, his voice tense.

Steadily, bit by bit, Karkat's HP had been recovering, his wounds slowly disappearing. Flowey made a guttural, furious sound, and two rows of bullets appeared, one on either side of Karkat, and shot for him. Only to be stopped by a crackling line of electricity, and a tongue of blue fire.

"_Technically_, it's impossible for you to beat him." Alphys rasped, curled up in pain, "B- but... somehow, I know you can do it!"

"Human." Asgore intoned, his eyes squeezed shut in misery, "For the future of humans and monsters...! You have to stay determined!"

Karkat's chest began to feel warm, his Soul's light flickering back to life. Even though no one else was there, he could almost hear the voices of all the other monsters in the underground, crying out to him.

"We're with you, too!"

"C'mon, you got this!"

"You've _got_ to win!"

"You can do it!"

"Ribbit."

Karkat stared as his HP bar steadily, rapidly ticked back up to 20. His blood vanished from the floor, and his clothes were restored, a golden light wrapping around him.

"Karkat." The troll looked up at Dave's voice. Dave's brilliant, ruby eyes were glazed, but he smiled through the torture, his eyes only for his boyfriend. "You've got this. I love you."

That was all it took. Karkat's grip tightened on his sickle's handle. He surged to his feet as his friends cheered him on.

"Urrgh... no!" Flowey hissed, looking around frantically. "Unbelievable! This can't be happening! You... you...!" It suddenly went dead, silent and quiet, as Flowey smiled. "I can't believe you're all _so stupid._" With a rumble like a great machine was powering up, the very ground quaked as Flowey threw back his head, his vines wrapping even tighter around the others.

_**"ALL OF YOUR SOULS ARE MINE!!!"** _He roared.

The last thing Karkat saw were his friend's mouths, open in silent screams, before the world went white.

When the light faded, Karkat was once again back in the darkness.

And at first, he thought he was alone.

Until a figure appeared before him.

It was a young boy, in a green and yellow striped sweater, and a plain pair of jeans. He was facing away from Karkat, revealing a tiny, tuffed tail sticking out of a slit in the seat of his pants. All Karkat could see of his head was thick, white fur and a pair of droopy ears.

The figure slowly moved; his movements were disjointed, unfamiliar, as he turned his head from side to side and flexed his fingers, before his shoulders shook with silent laughter.

"Finally. I was so tired of being a flower." He said at last, his voice soft. Slowly, he turned around and raised his head.

The young monster smiled shyly, and Karkat's breath hitched.

"Asriel?" He whispered; he didn't know who else it could be. The young monster was a goat, with deep brown eyes just like Asgore and Toriel.

"Howdy. Chara, are you there? It's me, your best friend."

Chara? Karkat wondered briefly, before a flash of light went off like a bomb, making him throw up his hands and cry out.

When he lowered them, a new monster stood before him. Wait, no, he corrected himself; it was still Asriel, but he was bigger; bigger, and hovering several feet in the air.

He no longer looked like a child, but a fully grown monster. He was bigger, taller, his chest broader, and a pair of curled horns sprouting from his head. A slash of black fur underlined each eye. He was dressed in a violet robe, the Delta Rune emblazoned on his chest, and a golden locket around his throat. A cape was hung around his shoulders, the collar turned up around his neck.

Karkat's Soul flew forward, his boxes shimmering to life.

He didn't know where Dave was, didn't know what had happened to the others, didn't know where he was- but he knew one thing: This was the end.

It was still just another Fight, he told himself. He felt odd; not in a bad way, but just... odd. It was that feeling of "I have to do this", coupled with the momentous understanding that if he didn't fight back, the world would end. His Soul- not just the glowing heart, but his very being- was filled with a solidifying, satisfying, determination.

So like he always had done, he pressed Act, and hit Check:

_ASRIEL DREEMURR- ∞ ATK ∞ DEF_   
_Legendary being made of every Soul in the underground._

Asriel swept his arm out in front of him, and a rain of blue fire fell from his fingertips. Neither of them spoke, but Karkat's head was filled with the encouragement of his friends as he leaped away from the fire. There was a music, a song playing in his head that made his nerves buzz all the way down to his toes. It had no words, this song, but the music itself seemed to repeat, over and over, "This is the end."

When the flames died, Karkat reached for Act, and saw his only other options were Hope, and Dream. He chose the word that he could hold onto the tightest: Hope.

Behind Asriel, the barrier suddenly flared to life. But instead of the white, infinite wall, it became... more. Colors bled through the white; every color imaginable flickered and danced like the northern lights, the hues bleeding together into a single, pulsing, breathing, heaving, infinitely finite point. The light seemed to wrap around them, the feeling of heavy magic returning around the two of them. Distantly, Karkat heard Asriel take a deep breath, as if he'd just brought his head up above water.

He began to glide back and forth though the air, an iridescent trail following him wherever he went. It almost look like part of the barrier, like the wall was trying to grab him.

Asriel's eyes went white as he raised his arms, palms up.

The sky itself seemed to quake, before humongous, crystal-like stars began to rain down around Karkat. As their points slammed into the ground, they burst into dozens of more stars, forcing Karkat to flee and bound away like a frightened rabbit. Somehow, my some miracle, he came out of it unscathed, and the stars vanished.

He stopped and stood his ground before Asriel, reaching out and pressing Dream. Distantly, he felt _something_ connected to him fill up, and instinctively knew it was his inventory.

"You know..." Asriel said at last, looking down at him, "I don't care about destroying this world anymore."

"Fucking- good!" Karkat spat as Asriel spread his arms wide, fingers splayed out. The air trembled, and the prickling feeling on the back of Karkat's neck was the only warning the troll had, before giant tongues of lightning struck the ground around him. He cried out, jumping away from one, only to throw himself into the path of another strike.

A burning, white-hot pain shot down his spine and exploded through him, making him scream. He ran blindly, only to be struck again. He was sent tumbling to the ground, his HP cut to 12.

Groaning in pain, his body literally smoking, he forced himself back to his unsteady feet. Several, giant strikes of lighting hit the ground around him, but he was fortunate enough that he managed to sidestep them. Panting and wincing as a crackling, buzzing sensation settled over his head, he reached for his items and pulled out a Cinnamon Bunny. He shoved it into his mouth, relieved to see his HP fill up completely as cinnamon and sugar melted on his tongue.

"After I defeat you and gain total control over the timeline, I just want to reset everything." Asriel continued. He reached behind himself, and Karkat's eyes widened as he pulled out a pair of giant saber blades, each longer than Karkat's entire arm.

Asriel bared his fangs before he lunged. Karkat threw up his sickle, and metal screeched across metal as sword met sickle. Karkat twisted away, just in time to receive the second blade right through his left shoulder. His head jerked back, but his scream was strangled out by the agony that raced through him as blood burst down his back. He threw himself backwards, disengaging his sickle from the sabers, and ran for it. Asriel's blade slashed for his other arm, but only succeeded in slicing through his bicep. Blood spurted from the wound and soaked through his sweater sleeve, his HP falling to 9.

He flung himself to the ground to avoid the next two swings, before he rolled over- unfortunately, doing so on his wounded shoulder- and got back up As he did so, Asriel slid his sabers back below his robes, a final burst of stars spitting out of the blades. Gritting his teeth, Karkat sidestepped them as he clutched the smarting wound and pressed Hope.

"All your progress... Everyone's memories... I'll ring them all back to zero." Asriel purred, before he raised his hands to summon the lightning. Karkat, exhausted from his wounds but refusing to let that stop him, jumped away from the strikes.

"I've gone through too much fucking absolute bullshitting _hell_ to just let you fucking do that, shitwipe!" He shouted, reaching for his Items. He pulled out his Junk Food and ripped into it, groaning with relief as his wounds healed over.

"Then we can do everything all over again." Asriel smiled, thrusting his hand into the air. Once more, the hail of stars slammed to the earth, and Karkat ran for it, his teeth clenched so hard he thought he might break a fang. Still, by the time the onslaught ended, he still had all his health. He reached out and chose Dream, and felt the space in his inventory shrink. "And you know what the best part of all this is? You'll do it."

"Shut the fuck up!" Karkat yelled as Asriel reached out. A ginormous gun-like weapon appeared in his hands; it was as long as Karkat was tall, and Asriel leveled it at him. A trio of red lasers shot out of a laser pointer mounted on top, and aimed for Karkat's Soul. The gun trilled as it powered up, before it fired a spray of jagged-edged bullets. Karkat threw himself to the ground to avoid them, rolling onto his stomach and pushing back onto his feet again. He spun away to avoid the second shot, and simply took off running to avoid the next eight more.

Unfortunately, he wasn't as lucky as he had been with the stars. Several bullets struck him, their edges slicing through his flesh- his HP fell to 8. He screamed, but couldn't even hear it over the loud humming behind him. Spinning around, he saw a bar of lights light up along the side of the gun, before the barrel split open- into a bigger, wider barrel- and fired.

A beam of concentrated, colorful energy blasted for his head, and Karkat nearly bent himself in half as he ducked backwards to avoid it. Standing up straight, his breath coming in panicked gasps, he reached for his Items. Sorting through them, he saw something new, labeled "Last Dream". He chose it, and an orb of bright, golden light flew into his chest, his HP maxing back out.

"Ad then you'll lose to me again." Asriel murmured.

"Excuse me?! I've been kicking your fucking ass this whole time! Check the scoreboard, you stupid dickhead!" Karkat snapped, bracing himself and raising his sickle in time to meet Asriel's sabers. Expecting his second blow this time, he let his sickle glide down the blade of the first sword and he turned to block the second.

Asriel hissed, and stabbed his first blade through Karkat's back. Karkat screamed, blindly slashing for Asriel's head. Asriel jumped back and released a burst of stars, ripping his sword out of Karkat's torso again.

Karkat, tears of pain blurring his eyes and blood running like a waterfall down his sweater, could only stumble away, his HP reduced to 6. Sobs snagging in his throat, he reached for his Items and pulled out another Last Dream. Another light sank through his chest, and his legs felt weak as his wounds closed. He forced himself to stay standing though, gulping down air like a fish. He reached out with trembling fingers and chose Hope.

"And again! And again!!" Asriel cried, once more pulling out his gigantic gun.Gritting his teeth, Karkat didn't run this time. He let the lasers lock onto him, before he either ducked or simply stepped away, allowing the bullets to tear by him unflinchingly. When the gun charged up the energy blast, that was when he ran.

It struck the ground where he'd been standing, but left him unharmed. He turned and slammed his palm into Hope.

"Because you want a "happy ending." Because you "love your friends."" Asriel mocked.

"You're damn fucking right I do! I had one! I had my fucking happy ending before you dragged me into this fucking hell hole!" Karkat screamed at him as he twisted and ran from the hail of stars. He was crying, tears of frustration racing down his face, "I went through crap that would make you shit bricks, and I had my happy ending! I was fucking safe! My friends were alive, my boyfriend and I were together, fuck, I was gearing up to ask him to fucking marry me, and then you!! You fucking ripped that away! You dragged us down here, to be hunted down, to be put through more fucking hell! We don't have fucking therapists, do you know how long it took me to get Dave to take his stupid shades off!?! I hate you!!"

Blinded by tears, he was struck several times by the shrapnel stars, but he barely felt them, his grief and rage boiling over until his whole body felt hot. His HP fell to 9, but he slammed his fist on Dream and kept going.

"Because you "never give up."" Asriel continued, wrinkling his muzzle in disgust as he pulled out his gun.

Used to the rhythm by now, Karkat dodged the bullets and blast with ease, until, at the end of the energy blast, a burst of stars flew towards him in waves. Still, he managed to writhed away from them. He slammed his hand onto Hope.

"I've given up plenty of fucking times. It was everyone else who made me keep going." Karkat hissed. Asriel shook his head.

"Isn't that delicious? Your "determination", the power that let you get this far... It's gonna be your downfall." He sneered, before he flung his hand to the sky to call the lightning.

The strikes rained in rapid succession, and Karkat was sent hounding away to avoid them. Several bigger, stronger strikes struck the ground around him, cutting his HP to 3. He whirled around and grabbed another Last Dream, letting the golden light wash through him as he looked up at Asriel.

"You fucking wish. I'm not scared of you." He snarled. Asriel scowled.

"Enough messing around! It's time to purge this timeline once and for all!" He hissed. He flung out his arms, and from his chest burst a beam of bright, white light.

The light shot up and collected above them, forming together to create a humongous, skull-like head that resembled a goat. A mental image of the determination extraction machine flashed through Karkat's head, before the mouth opened.

Within the skull's jaws, hundreds of beams of light shot out. The skull quivered and trembled, a roaring sound filling Karkat's ears as bright bursts of light flew from the darkness and were absorbed by the monstrous maw. The lights flew right past Karkat, until one of them struck him.

He cried out as his whole left side- where he'd been hit- was set ablaze with agonizing, burning pain. There were no flames, but his sweater burned away and his skin blistered instantly. He shrieked, limping away from the lights as they collected. Between the jaws of the skull, the lights grew together until the consumed it, and exploded in a blinding flash. Karkat fell to one knee, panting and whimpering through clenched teeth as he saw his HP had hit 1.

Asriel stared at him, slack jawed, before he clenched it shut again. "... Even after that attack, you're still standing in my way...?" He shook his head, "Wow, you really are something special. But don't get cocky." He added quickly, chuckling darkly, "Up until now, I've only been using a fraction of my real power! Let's see what good your determination is against _this!!"_

With another burst of light from his chest, Asriel transformed.

When Karkat's vision returned, he saw a _monster_ before him.

A beast.

A god.

Wings made of _red-_ nothing but a red, humming energy- outlined with black chains and swirling with power. A sneering mouth full of teeth the size of his whole arm, and sharper than any blade. Eyes so black they made the darkness around them seem bright. Horns so big and sharp they scratched the night apart. A body that was incorporeal, shifting, changing, yet solid and exuding a crushing power. A heart, redder than the blood that pulsed through Karkat's veins, trembled within a cage of bones and physical darkness. Gauntlet covered arms stretched out before the god, bigger than the talons of the primordial beasts that first clawed out of the shadows of nightmares, connected only by that living, breathing, blackness.

Karkat expected to feel his hopes die. He expected to feel his will to fight leave him, to feel himself give in. He tried to move, but found he couldn't, and expected to brace himself for the end.

But... he didn't.

Instead, he closed his eyes, and the images of all his friends- monster, human, and troll alike- rose in his mind. His memories of setting up their new world, his recollection of the feeling before the final showdown against the game and Lord English-

It all came rushing back, ripping through him and filling him with a white, red-hot determination.

He tried to reach for Act, but his body didn't move. His Soul did, though. It moved towards the box and chose it for him, and he saw his only option was to Struggle. So Struggle he did.

"Urah ha ha ha... Behold my _true_ power!!" Asriel's voice spoke, and the teeth before Karkat gnashed, but the words did not flow through his ears. They echoed through his brain, so loud and consuming that they filled every corner of his thinkpan.

The gauntlets shifted and pulled back, before bright lights gathered in his palms. With a bang, the lights shot forward in the form of shining, iridescent trails, headed by the forms of specters.

Karkat, unable to move, willed his Soul to Struggle, too. His Soul responded, and wherever he mentally directed it to go, it followed. His Soul bobbed and weaved through the trailing lights, before one of them crashed headlong into his Soul.

Karkat's HP hit 0.

His vision began to swim and darken, as his Soul split in half above him. Through his foggy vision, he saw his Soul tremble, before the two pieces pressed back together like magnets. His vision instantly came back and he was left, dumbfounded, as he realized what had happened.

His Soul had refused death.

He blinked, and he was back. His HP was restored, and his Soul sat, awaiting his directions. He looked up at the gargantuan god before him, and their jaws full of dripping, gleaming teeth. He felt his lips peel back as he bared his fangs; Asriel wasn't the only god among them. His Soul pressed Struggle.

"I can feel it... Every time you die, your grip on this world slips away. Every time you die, your friends forget you a little more. Your life will end here, in a world where no one remembers you." Asriel boomed through his mind.

"Liar!!" Karkat shouted back, pleased that his vocal chords were still working at least, "This is my fucking world, my fucking universe, not yours!!"

Asriel growled, his hands opening to release another onslaught of phantom lights. Karkat's Soul once more dodged through them at his command. Even as he was struck, and his body was wracked with indescribable agony, he forced his Soul to keep going.

He felt like the world was dying around him, because he refused to. His will to fight would not end, so the world would, instead. He had the mental image of the ground crumbling below his feet, but he couldn't even feel it anymore; he was disconnected, floating, hovering in the darkness. Just him, his Soul, and a god.

He chose to Struggle.

"Still, you're hanging on...? That's fine. In a few moments, you'll forget everything, too. That attitude will serve you well in your next life." Asriel's voice thrummed through him.

"Kiss all of my fucking fat ass!" Karkat snapped back, as his Soul weaved through the lights.

"Ura ha ha... Still?! Come on... Show me what good your _determination_ is now!"

Karkat's Soul was ripped apart by the phantom lights, his HP cut down to 2. He tried to reach for his Items, but his Soul wouldn't listen, stubbornly sticking to Act. So he closed his eyes, and Struggled.

Again, he tried to move his body. Nothing happened. He tried to reach out, reach for... something. He was mentally grasping in the dark, looking for something. For what? His Save Point? It was gone; gone, just like the others. Gone, just like the world. Gone. Just like he will be.

Why _was_ he fighting back, he asked himself at last. For who? For himself? For Dave? For their friends? Obviously, yes; Karkat had always fought for others. He'd always given up his own comfort for the sake of others, gone to great lengths to make them happy, even when he reaped nothing from it.

He certainly wasn't fighting for himself. His whole life, he expected to wake up the next night, only to find himself dead. He slugged through night after night, just biding time and filling it with empty conversations, menial tasks, and thoughtless activities, doing whatever it took just to see one more sunrise, and trying to glean some kind of joy in between.

He was a god, he knew that. But what was he a god of? He created the universe; his blood formed the bright red nebulas in the sky. Okay, so he could create. He had power. But what good was the power to create, before a god that destroyed?

Memories bubbled to the surface of his mind. Memories of his friend, hanging out with each other. Eating, sleeping, joking, laughing, with each other. Fighting _for_ each other. He watched those memories like clips on a screen, and found his answer.

He was a Knight for a reason, goddamn it. Knights fought for _others_. Knights saved _others_. Knights fought fucking dragons and gods to rescue the fucking princesses and _save the fucking world._

If he wasn't going to fight for, and save, himself, then he was damn sure going to do it for the others.

With the names of his friends on his lips, he opened his eyes again, to see his Act box had changed. It was no longer Act, but Save, glowing and pulsing and flashing with every color against the darkness.

He reached for it, and new options filled out before him:

Undyne and Alphys.

Papyrus and Sans.

Asgore and Toriel.

He looked up at the abomination before him, stared into those deep, dark eyes, and called for his friend's names, mentally reaching for the indecipherable blackness where their Souls were trapped. His own Soul rose, and flew towards the rib-imprisoned heart in Asriel's chest. Both Souls grew brighter, _brighter_, resonating with one another.

With a flash of light, two figures appeared between them; Papyrus and Sans, although their faces were hidden, obscured in a shroud of fuzzy whiteness. Reaching for Act, he saw their names were not Sans and Papyrus, but Lost Soul. A wrenching sensation in his heart, he reached for the first one, to see his options appear as Joke, Recipe, Puzzle, and Insult.

"Papyrus..." He swallowed the grief that clenched his throat shut, and chose Recipe. "Papyrus, please, I want to- to try your spaghetti again!" He called.

Papyrus trembled, before he stood firm. "I must capture a human!" He said firmly.

Sans shook his head. "Just give up, kid. I did."

Karkat's Soul turned blue and fell, as bones erupted from the dark and came for it. Unable to move, Karkat mentally jerked his Soul upwards, above the bones, memories of his battle with Papyrus flashing through his head. Again, he reached out for Papyrus, and chose Joke.

"Please come back, Papyrus. I'm- I'm _bone_-ly without you guys." He insisted. He saw Papyrus' fists clench, and Sans' head moved like he was laughing.

"Then everyone will..." Papyrus continued, although his voice was hesitant.

"Why even try." Sans murmured, as they released another wave of blue and white bones. Karkat's Soul leaped them easily, and he again tried to reach Papyrus, choosing Puzzle.

"Papyrus, please, I... I need your help with a puzzle!" He cried. Papyrus didn't answer him this time.

"You'll never see them again." Sans sighed. Karkat looked at him, before he selected the second Lost Soul. His options came up as Take Break, Judgement, Joke, and Crossword. He snorted and chose the fourth option.

"Sorry Dave stole your jumble thing in the forest." Karkat told him, "If it makes you feel any better, he's a published cartoonist now."

Sans' laugh came through this time, as did Papyrus'. The mist around their heads suddenly cleared, and the skele-brothers blinked, before they focused on him and grinned.

"No, wait! You're my friend! I could never capture you!" Papyrus cried.

"Yeah, I'm rootin' for ya, kid." Sans beamed. They vanished into the darkness, but distantly, Karkat felt that they were safe.

His heart soaring with hope, he reached for Save again, and reached for Alphys this time. She appeared before him, her face shrouded. His Soul turned yellow and flipped upside down as he chose Act, which gave him Encourage, Call, Nerd Out, and Quiz. Unable to stop the grin that grew on his face, he chose Nerd Out.

"Alphys! I really wanna watch that anime with you! What's it about, again?!" He called. Alphys' fingers twitched, and he heard her suck in a deep breath. But all that came out was an anxious whimper.

"Y- y- you hate me, don't you...?" She moaned. A storm of tiny, rectangular Mettatons rained down on his Soul. He willed it to fire through the figures and destroy them, before he chose to Encourage her.

"No, Alphys! I admit you're more Dave's friend than mine, but- fuck, I still care about you! You're a good person!" He cried out.

"I've got to keep lying..." Alphys' voice quivered, before a line of bombs came down around him. Karkat shot them apart, jerking his Soul to the side to avoid the resulting explosions. He chose Call next. He couldn't reach for his phone, but Alphys started to shake none the less, before the fog cleared.

"No, that's not true! My friends like me! And I like you, too!" The doctor cried, a nervous smile stretching across her muzzle.

"Yes!!" Karkat crowed as Alphys vanished into the dark. Eagerly, his heart hammering, he reached out for Undyne.

His Soul turned green as she appeared; her face, too, was masked by white fuzziness. His Act options were Fake Hit, Recipe, Clash, and Smile.

Urging his Soul forward, it collided with Undyne's shoulder, but she barely flinched.

"All humans will die!" She snarled, before her spear materialized in her hand. She swung it about as the blue shield appeared before Karkat's Soul. Like in his battle with her, he directed the shield to avoid her miniature blades as they shot towards him. Deftly blocking each one, he chose Recipe.

"Can we try again at that cooking thing? I won't burn your fucking house down this time! Although I still think that was your fault!" He called. Undyne took a step back, surprised, before she laughed, and the fog cleared away.

"Well, some humans are okay, I guess." She grinned at him, nodding once before she vanished. His head spinning with relief, Karkat reached out for Toriel's soul next.

Before him, both Toriel and Asgore appeared, their faces cloaked in white. He focused on Toriel, and her options were Talk, Hug, Mercy, and Preference.

A small, sad pang in his heart, he chose Mercy.

"I won't fight you, Toriel." He said firmly. She clenched her fists at her sides.

"This is for your own good." She murmured.

"Forgive me for this." Asgore said softly.

They both raised their hands, palms facing him, and bright blue fire burst forth. Karkat's Soul slipped through the flames as their heat warmed his face. Reaching out again, he chose talk.

"Toriel... I have to go if I'm going to free everyone. I need you to come back." He said.

"No one will leave again!" She insisted.

"This is my duty." Asgore rumbled.

Once more, they unleashed a storm of fire, and Karkat nearly got through it unscathed. One tongue of flames managed to catch his Soul, and he felt his chest burn like it had been pressed with a hot poker. He cried out in pain as he chose Preference.

"You never told me which _you_ like more! Butterscotch or cinnamon?!" He called to her. Toriel shifted like she wanted to answer, but kept her mouth shut. When the third wave of flames dispersed, Karkat looked to Asgore. His options were the same, except Preference was replaced with Stare. He chose Mercy. "I'm sorry about before." He murmured, "I don't want to do that again. Please, let's start over, okay?" He pleaded.

The king and queen were suddenly looking at him as their veils of white dispersed, their eyes shining with pride.

"Your fate is up to you now!" Toriel called to him.

"You are our future." Asgore agreed, before they vanished.

Karkat looked up at Asriel, and called out again; there were still two more Souls to Save.

"David Strider!" He shouted.

Out of the dark came his matesprit, his face obscured. Swallowing thickly, Karkat reached for Act.

"I'm not a hero. I never was. I was just... trying to be like him." Dave whispered.

Karkat looked down at his options, but saw... nothing. His eyes snapped back up to Dave; he wasn't part of this world, this game, so it had no options for him, he realized.

But he still needed to be saved.

His teeth clenched, Karkat forced his body to move. It felt like he was wading through thick, sticky mud, his every motion painfully slow. But he reached out, and did what he always did when either of them sought comfort:

He took Dave's hand in his own.

He interlocked their fingers, pulled him close, and mashed his lips to Dave's.

It was a few seconds before he felt Dave respond. The human shifted and reached up, cupping the troll's cheek with his free hand. Karkat pulled away and opened his eyes- he hadn't realized he'd shut them- and looked up into a pair of scarlet eyes, filled with a mixture of love and tears.

"Hey, Karkles." Dave whispered.

"Hey." Karkat whispered back, his voice cracking. Dave smirked, kissing him again, softly. He squeezed the troll's fingers again, before he vanished.

Karkat blinked back the red blurriness in his eyes and took a deep breath, before he looked up at Asriel. One more, he told himself.

He reached out for a final time.

"Come on, Asriel. Your turn." He called. Asriel blinked, startled.

"Huh? Wh- what are you doing?" He demanded, as memories flashed through his eyes. He shook his head frantically, trying to be rid of them, but Karkat could almost feel the bombardment of emotions that swirled around the god in a heady storm.

"It's over, Asriel. It's your turn to be saved." Whatever had been holding him in place was gone now, so he moved forward, through the darkness, and reached for Asriel.

Asriel's eyebrows furrowed. "Wh... what did you do...?" Tears pricked the corners of his eyes, "Wh- what's this feeling...? What's happening to me?" He all but whimpered.

"It's time to come home, Asriel." Karkat continued.

"No! NO! I don't need anyone!" Asriel snarled, before he flung out his arms. His phantom lights burst from his hands in a frenzy, and Karkat simply stood, waiting. The lights passed him by completely. He pressed Save again, taking a step forward.

"It's over."

"Stop it! Get away from me!" Asriel snapped. Karkat took a defiant step forward, and Asriel bared his teeth. "Do you hear me?! I'll tear you apart!" He cried as he summoned more spectral blazes. Very few of them appeared this time, though, completely missing Karkat again, and Asriel's expression shifted to one of mounting panic.

"Come back, Asriel."

Asriel's eyes filled with grief and he turned his head away. "Chara.... do you know why I'm doing this? Why I keep fighting to keep you around?" He waved a halfhearted gauntlet, and blue fire rained down around on either side of Karkat, several feet away from his person.

"Why?" He asked simply.

"I'm doing this... because you're special, Chara. You're the only one that understands me. You're the only one who's any fun to play with anymore." His voice broke. Karkat smiled sadly and pressed Save again. "No... That's not just it. I... I... I'm doing this because I care about you, Chara! I care about you more than anybody else! I'm- I'm not ready for this to end! I'm not ready for you to _leave!!_ I'm not ready to say goodbye to someone like you again..."

"Asriel."

"So _please!!_ _Stop_ doing this!! _And just let me win!!_" The god cried, tears suddenly pouring down his cheeks and soaking through his fur. He put his hands together, palms facing Karkat, and a blast of concentrated, powerful energy burst forth. It consumed the troll, and Karkat saw his HP hit 1.

Then .90.

.50.

.10.

.01.

.001.

"STOP IT!!" Asriel shouted, his muzzle wide in a silent, agonized scream. The zeros only climbed as more tears raced down his face. Karkat couldn't feel the energy that swept through him. It seemed to part around him, in fact; it collided with his Soul and split into two, completely bypassing his person. "STOP IT NOW!!"

Finally, the blast stopped.

Karkat chose Save.

Asriel's shoulders fell, and he hung his head. "... Chara..." He whimpered. Karkat pressed Save. "... I'm so alone, Chara." He rasped. His wings began to fade, "I'm so _afraid_, Chara." His gauntlets and chest vanished. "Chara, I... I..."

He vanished, and a warm, bright, white light swept over them.

When it faded, Asriel- the real Asriel, the young boy- stood before Karkat once more, covering his face to wipe the tears away.

"I'm so sorry." He whispered, hiccuping. He wiped his cheeks and sniffled, before looking up at Karkat. "I... I always was a crybaby, wasn't I, Chara?"

Karkat's lips quirked in a half-smile. "I'm not really Chara, you know." Asriel sniffed again and nodded.

"I know. Chara's been gone for a long time... um... what... what _is_ your name?" He asked tepidly.

"Karkat."

"Karkat." Asriel repeated, a tiny smile on his face, "That's... a nice name." He looked down at his feet, before back up again, "Karkat, I... I haven't felt like this for a long time. As a flower, I was soulless. I lacked the power to love other people. However, with everyone's Souls inside me... I not only have my own compassion back, but I can feel every other monster's as well. They all care about each other so much. And... they care about you, too, Karkat. ... Especially Dave. I- I wish I could tell you how everyone feels about you. Papyrus, Sans, Undyne, Alphys... Toriel. Monsters are weird." He laughed softly, "Even though they barely know you, it feels like they all really love you. Haha." He wiped his face on his sleeve again.

"Karkat, I... I understand if you can't forgive me. I understand if you hate me. I acted so strange and horrible. I... I hurt you. I hurt so many people. Friends, family, bystanders... There's no excuse for what I've done." He hung his head like an admonished child.

Karkat looked down at him, and felt his blood-pusher squeeze with sympathy. "I mean... I get it." He said at last, "I did some stupid shit as a kid, too. I didn't, like, try to destroy the world, and kill everyone," Asriel's shoulders slumped with despair, "But I get it. I know what it's like to feel empty, like you can't care about anyone or anything. Least of all yourself." Karkat continued, before he sighed. "I forgive you, Asriel." The young goat's head snapped back up in disbelief.

"Wh- what?" He asked, before he laughed awkwardly. "Karkat, come on." Tears filled his eyes, "You're- you're gonna make me cry again. B- besides, even if you do forgive me, I can't keep these Souls inside me. The least I can do is return them." He looked around them for a long moment, "But first... there's something I have to do. Right now, I can feel everyone's hearts beating as one. They're all burning with the same desire. With everyone's power... with everyone's determination... It's time for monsters to finally go free."

Karkat smiled softly, and nodded.

Asriel took a deep breath and shut his eyes. Raising his arms out wide, he began to lift off the ground. He threw back his head, and out from his chest burst hundreds, _thousands_ of Souls. Among them were the six human Souls. Behind him, the barrier reacted, bursting to life again in a brilliant, dazzling flash of light. With the Souls swirling around him like a hurricane, Asriel reached out and touched it.

The energy wall crackled and roared, before it fractured like glass.

With an almighty _boom_, it shattered into shards of multi-colored light, and vanished.

The Souls dispersed with it, and Asriel slowly sank to the ground again. Karkat stepped forward, concerned he'd fall over, but Asriel straightened up and opened his eyes again, looking up at him.

"... Karkat... I have to go now." He said softly, "Without the power of everyone's Souls, I can't keep maintaining this form. In a little while... I'll turn back into a flower. I'll stop being "myself". I'll stop being able to feel love again. So... Karkat. It's best if you just forget about me, okay? Just go be with the people who love you."

Karkat's heart was again pierced by grief on behalf of the little monster. He moved closer and knelt down as Asriel hung his head to hide the tears in his eyes.

"Asriel..." Karkat reached out and laid a hand on his shoulder. Asriel flinched at his touch, before he looked up, his eyes wet and shining. He looked at Karkat's hand, before he gulped and darted forward, slamming his head into Karkat's chest and wrapping his small arms around his waist. Karkat embraced him in turn, laying his cheek on Asriel's fuzzy head as he clutched him close. "Shoosh. It's gonna be okay." He murmured, rubbing the kid's back gently. He could feel heat rolling down his own face as Asriel's grip tightened on his sweater.

"Ha... ha... I don't want... to let go..." Asriel sobbed, his shoulders quivering. Karkat only nodded, and held him a little longer. At last, though, Asriel pulled away, and Karkat released him. Asriel blinked up at him. "Karkat... You're... you're going to do a great job, okay? No matter what you do. Everyone will be there for you, okay?"

Karkat swallowed past the lump in his throat and nodded again. Asriel nodded, too, and looked at the darkness around them again.

"Well... my time's running out. Goodbye." He murmured. He turned away, and began to walk into the darkness. Karkat watched him go, his chest aching in an indescribable way. Asriel turned and looked back at him once. "By the way, Karkat... take care of mom and dad for me, okay?" He asked softly.

"Yeah, dude. Sure." Karkat rasped. Asriel smiled softly and turned away.

Karkat watched him until he was swallowed by the darkness.

Now alone, Karkat looked around; he couldn't even see himself, the night was so thick. He didn't know how long he was there, in the endless ebony, before a voice spoke.

"Karkat. Please, wake up."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well... there it is. The real climax. I'm so sorry I let this sit for so long, I just... I wasn't ready to face the ending, you know? We've only got two chapters left to go now, but that didn't make this one any less painful.


	59. Chapter 59

Karkat's eyes slowly fluttered open, and when his vision swam into focus, the first thing he saw was Dave, staring down at him with a concerned expression. He was in the Strider's lap, his head cradled to Dave's shoulder.

"Hey, man." Dave said softly, "Welcome back."

Karkat blinked at him, before he looked around. Undyne, Alphys, Papyrus, Sans, Asgore, and Toriel were standing around them, all watching him with a mix of confusion and concern.

"You are awake!" Toriel gasped, looking pensive, "Thank goodness!"

"W- we were so worried...! It felt like you were out forever." Alphys added, smiling nervously.

"Yeah! Any longer and I would have freaked out!" Undyne agreed, not looking at him directly, "Tell us next time you decide to take a nap, okay?"

"Yeah. You made Papyrus cry like a baby." Sans snorted, elbowing his brother playfully.

"What?! I didn't cry!" Papyrus scoffed indignantly, "I don't cry! I just... caught something in my eye." He added, looking away.

"What did you catch?" Sans asked, stuffing his hands in his jacket pockets. Papyrus sniffled.

"Tears!" He wailed.

"Now, now. The important part is that Karkat is all right. Here, Karkat, why not drink some tea? It'll make you feel better." Asgore suggested, his eyebrows furrowed in concern.

"Err... How about we give him space, first? He must be very exhausted. Though, from what, I am not certain." Toriel frowned, before she turned to Karkat, "Karkat, we do not remember exactly what happened. There was a flower... and then everything went white. But now the barrier is gone. When you are ready, we will all return to the surface. It seems the door will lead us there now." She gestured towards the archway, behind which used to lay the barrier. "But before then... Perhaps you might want to take a walk? You can say goodbye to all your wonderful friends. Do as you wish. We will all wait for you here."

Karkat nodded, before he looked up at Dave again.

"Wanna take that walk?" He suggested.

"Where to?" Karkat asked.

"Well... I've got a few ideas. Can you stand?"

Karkat hesitated, before he climbed unsteadily to his feet. Dave stood up beside him, grabbing his shoulder to steady him. Karkat was suddenly awash with a bone-deep tiredness. All he wanted to do was go home and take a nap for the next few years, but he took a deep breath and shook it off.

"I'm okay." He assured Dave, reaching up and taking his hand off his shoulder and into his hand.

"A'ight. We'll be back, ya'll." Dave addressed the others, before he turned for the door. Karkat followed after him, his every muscle aching and stiff.

"Erm." Papyrus cleared his throat, making the two of them look back, "Can we address the elephant in the room, first?" He looked around, before looking back at Karkat, "You're grey now," He said bluntly, with evident confusion, "and you have horns."

Karkat straightened up, startled. "... I've always had horns." He replied.

"No... you haven't." Undyne shook her head. Dave and Karkat looked at one another, now just as confused as the monsters.

"Yes, he has." Dave frowned.

Alphys shook her head, too. "No, he- he looked like you, David. Except you- _you_ look human now."

"Because I am human." Dave pointed out.

"But your eyes?"

"Yeah. Those are the weird part. But look," He reached up and touched his own head, "no horns here. No fur or fangs or fins. One hundred percent, natural, grade A human, with no artificial flavorings or added preservatives."

Sans laughed loudly, making the others crack up.

"But how is this possible?" Asgore asked when his chuckles died away, "If Karkat has always been... whatever he is, and you are really human, how did we not see it before?"

"I'm a troll." Karkat told him, "And... I don't fucking know." He looked up at Dave. "Any ideas?" Dave shook his head.

"No clue, dude." He frowned, before his eyebrows shot up, "Wait, the barrier! If it could take my powers because they're not "monster born", maybe it did something to you?" He suggested, looking at Sans. Sans tipped his skull to the side.

"Could be possible." He conceded after a moment's thought, nodding.

"That... kinda makes sense." Undyne scratched her cheek scales in thought, "But why? How? What for?"

The rest of them could only shrug helplessly, and Dave looked down at Karkat again. Karkat shook his head.

"We can figure that shit out later, let's just go." He sighed. Dave nodded sympathetically.

"We'll be back, guys." He called. The monsters looked at one another, still confused and uncertain, but dismissed them.

Dave lead Karkat through the doorway, back out to the throne room. Karkat froze just a few steps inside, as the sound of birds and insects filled his ears, as the smell of pollen washed through his nose, and the warmth of the light bled through his eyes. His breath snagged in his throat and Dave stopped, turning to look at him.

"Karkles?" He asked, concerned.

"I..." Karkat tried to speak, but so many emotions were crashing through him just then, he couldn't find the words he wanted. Tears sprung in his eyes, and he saw panic momentarily flash across Dave's face.

"Whoa, whoa, hey, babe, what is it?" He stepped closer, taking Karkat's other hand in his own and searching his face anxiously.

"I... I'm just..." Karkat tried again, but words once again failed him. He swallowed thickly and sniffled, looking up at Dave. Before he could consciously decide to do so, he'd yanked the lanky boy towards him, released his hands, and flung his arms around his torso. He buried his face in Dave's chest as a sob was wrenched from his throat. Dave's arms were instantly around him, rubbing and patting his back.

"Babe, what's wrong?"

Karkat babbled, his words reduced to gibberish as he tried to explain everything. That he was glad to see Dave again, that he was relieved that they were safe, that he was overjoyed that they could go home- but he was also mourning Asriel, confused about everything that had happened, exhausted from the fights, overwhelmed by everything they'd been through, and just-

"Hey, hey..." Dave pulled back slightly and cupped Karkat's cheeks, tipping his face upwards so he could lean down and kiss his tears away, "Breathe, baby. I'm not going anywhere. It's okay. It's over. You won." He murmured, running a hand through Karkat's hair. Karkat forced himself to take a shaky, deep breath. And then another, as Dave wiped his face clean with his thumbs and gently traced his fingertips over the edges of Karkat's ears, horns, and jaws. It was almost painfully pale, a gross breach of their red quadrant, but Karkat leaned into it; he needed comfort now more than ever. "Wanna try that again?" Dave encouraged him gently. He took another deep breath.

"Do... do you... remember anything?" He managed to croak. Dave's lip twitched.

"A little. I remember Flowey, and him grabbing me. I remember screaming, and hearing him scream, and then... it all kind of went dark, like when you beat him the first time. It sort of felt like I was dreaming, but awake? Kind of like I was disassociating." He explained, "Then I heard you yell my name, and then you were in front of me. I could see you, but at the same time I couldn't, and I felt... bad. Like... Like all the bad shit we'd gone through suddenly dogpiled me again and I couldn't breathe." He smiled glumly and traced Karkat's eyebrows, "But then you reached out to me, and you were kissing me, and then I could _really_ see you. But then you vanished again, and I was back in the room," He nodded towards the arch they'd just crossed through, "with the others. You were gone, though. We were discussing what to do, when you just... appeared, on the ground, unconscious. I picked you up, and after a few minutes, you woke up."

Karkat nodded slightly, a weird relief creeping through him at his boyfriend's words. At least he hadn't been in pain, he thought.

"What about you? What happened after everything went black?" Dave asked him. Karkat looked away at that.

"I... Not yet." He shook his head, "I'm not- I don't want-"

"Okay, okay, easy. Not yet. Okay. We can go do some other stuff first." Dave quickly soothed him, making Karkat look back.

"Like what?"

"Well I was thinking... we could take like, a goodbye tour. See everyone again, spread the word that the barrier is broken. And maybe decipher this," He reached into his pocket and pulled out the black journal. Karkat blinked at it, before he nodded. A goodbye tour sounded... kinda nice.

"Okay."

Dave smiled, pulled away, took his hand, and lead the way out of the throne room. They stepped back out into that bleak hall, and Dave tried to head for the elevators, but Karkat stopped him. The troll was staring back towards the hall that lead to the coffins. Without a word, Dave turned around and headed for them again. He lead Karkat down the long flight of steps and pushed the doors open.

They stepped into that dismal basement, and came to a startled halt.

The coffins were empty, their lids pushed open. Karkat looked at the nearest one, that had his name inscribed on its plaque, and saw his name was... faded. Reaching out, he rubbed his finger over the letters, which dispersed under his touch. Underneath where his name had been written, another name was already there:

"**Chara**"

Dave looked at Karkat, but the troll's expression was unreadable. He stared at those five letters for a long moment, before he turned away again.

Back up the stairs, through the corridors, they crossed through the elevators, the Core, and the MTT Resort. They encountered no one through the entire journey, and walked in complete silence.

In the lobby, Dave turned and headed for the burger joint. He pushed the doors open, and Burgerpants looked up at their arrival.

"What can I do for ya, little buddies?" He asked, rolling an unlit joint between his fingers. When the option boxes came up, Dave chose Talk, and saw they had new options: Freedom, Bratty and Catty, Freedom, and Future.

Dave went with the first option. "The barrier is broken, you know." Burgerpants nodded.

"So we're free, huh? Mettaton told us as much." He sighed, "But then he told me, "Don't think that means you're getting out of work early."" He laughed humorlessly, pulling a lighter from his pocket and sparking up his joint. "Ah... my boss. I love that guy." He took a deep drag, "And by that, I mean I hate him so, so much."

"Well, at least you can get out when your shift ends." Dave suggested, glancing at the topics, "What about Bratty and Catty?"

"Those girls? The ones that saw my pants fall down?" Burgerpants rolled his eyes, "Well, we're all gonna be free, so I'll never see them again, at least."

"Yeah? What about your freedom?" Dave prompted. Burgerpants pursed his lips.

"Don't tell anyone this, little buddies- because they'll make fun of me- but I... I feel like I played a hand in everyone getting free somehow. Even if it was just working this awful job. I think I did something... I don't know if it's true, but I'll believe it anyway."

"You helped." Karkat said quietly, "You definitely helped." He raised his head and smiled slightly at Burgerpants, which made the cat pause, surprised. After a moment, he snorted and turned away, his cheek fur turning pink.

"What about your future?" Dave asked after a moment.

"Little buddies, there's a brand new world out there waiting for us. I'm sure with my," He coughed, "qualifications, it won't be long before I'm a famous movie star..." He hesitated, before he looked at the counter top, his tail flicking behind him, before his head shot up and he pushed a large, almost painful looking smile onto his face, "Or. Maybe I'll just end up flipping burgers again. But it's as I say! Nowhere to go but up! Literally, in this case!" He laughed frantically, before he took another drag.

"Yeah man. See you on the flip side." Dave snorted. Saying goodbye, they moved on.

They stepped outside the resort, and Karkat instantly turned and headed for the alley. Dave let him take the lead as they approached Catty and Bratty's place. When they arrived, they saw the two girls in the middle of disassembling their wooden shed, everything else already packed up into boxes.

"Hey, ladies!" Dave called. The girls whipped around, looking delighted, and hurried to them.

"Hey, dudes! Welcome back!" Bratty grinned.

"Yeah, hey!" Catty agreed.

When their Talk options came up, Dave saw the options were: Freedom, I'm a Human, Future, and Do You Like Cats.

"So, like, what's up?" Bratty prompted him.

"I guess ya'll got the memo about the barrier?" Dave asked, nodding to the boxes. The girls nodded excitedly.

"So, we're like, totally free now, huh?" Bratty smirked.

"Yeah, like, totally free!" Catty purred.

"Like... cool."

"Yeah, like, cool.

"Like, millennia of being imprisoned finally over?"

"Yeah, that's like, pretty chill, I guess."

"Do ya'll realize I'm human?" Dave inquired. Bratty and Catty blinked, before they did a double take, staring him up and down before looking at Karkat.

"Oh, oops, really? Uh, well, when we said, um... we were hyped for the destruction of humanity, we were just, like, joking, you know?" Bratty wrung her claws together, alarmed and embarrassed.

"Did we say that?" Catty blinked.

"Probably? It's, like, practically our catchphrase." Bratty giggled.

"Really? I thought our catchphrase was "Bratty's the best, Catty's the coolest!"" Catty exclaimed.

"Um, no? We've like, literally never said that." Bratty frowned.

"Can it be, though? Can it be?!" Catty begged. Dave stifled a laugh.

"What are you two going to do now?" He asked.

"Hmm... Now that we're gonna be free..." Bratty began.

"OMG, we can finally fulfill our _dream_ of having a pet cat!!" Catty cried.

"That's like, _your_ dream, Catty." Bratty chided.

"But Bratty..." Catty looked crestfallen, "I don't want to have a dream without you in it."

Bratty made a weird noise in her throat. "Aw... Catty..."

"And, in my dream, _you_ clean up after the cat!" Catty added cheekily.

"Catty!" Bratty laughed, making her feline friend laugh, too. Dave chuckled.

"Do you like cats?" He asked.

"Me? Yeah, I _love_ cats!" The girls said at the same time.

They're like, _so_ tasty!" Bratty hissed.

"They're like, _so_ cute!" Catty cried.

Both of them froze and looked at each other.

"Bratty, no!" Catty laughed.

"I'm just kidding!" Bratty assured her, laughing, before she moved closer to Dave, "Kind of." She turned back to Catty, "Anyway, when was the last time you even saw a cat around here?"

"Oh! Just the other day! There was this cute little white cat walking around. It was, like, soooo clueless looking. I pet it for like, an hour!" Catty explained excitedly. Bratty blinked, dismayed.

"... Catty."

"Yeah, Bratty?"

"I think that was, like, a dog." Bratty said gently.

"Dogs are just firm cats!" Catty giggled, making both of them crack up.

Dave snorted. "Alright, well, good luck, ya'll. We'll let you get back to packing."

"Bye, dudes! See ya on the surface!" Bratty chirred, turning and heading back for the hut.

"Yeah, like, see ya!" Catty mewed.

The boys left the alley again, and Dave looked at Karkat.

"How you feeling, man?" He asked gently.

"Better." Karkat admitted, "I... I want to go to Snowdin."

"You got it, dude. Can we stop off in Waterfall first, though? I wanna see the old turtle dude, and Napsters."

"Yeah."

Several minutes later, they were back in front of the riverperson.

"Did you find it?" They asked as the two approached, staring into the water.

"Yes." Dave reached into his pocket and pulled out the journal again. The riverman nodded, pleased.

"Make sure to read it. Care for a ride?"

"Yes, please. To Waterfall."

"Tra la la, then we're off." The riverwoman nodded.

They climbed into the boat, and it lurched forward. As they glided down the river, the riverman sang again. "Tra la la. What's inside an acorn? It's really just a mystery."

"Sure is." Karkat mumbled. They pulled up at the Waterfall dock, and the boys climbed out.

"Come again sometime, tra la la." The riverwoman called.

Dave waved goodbye- feeling much more at ease with having his back to them now- and they left. They crossed the road, into the entrance to the old turtle's shop.

"Wehehe... welcome back, you two." The old turtle rumbled. He, too, was packing his possessions in a box, but stopped and leaned on his table as Dave and Karkat approached.

"Hey, man." Dave pressed Talk, and his topics came up as: Fluffybuns Why, Asgore and Toriel, and About Undyne. Dave perked up.

"Oh, yeah, you remember why you call Asgore "Fluffybuns" yet?" He asked. The turtle grinned, nodding.

"Okay, okay! I remember it clearly now. It was the monthly address at the castle, and the queen was giving her part on current events. After finishing her update, she moved to pass the microphone to the king. However, she didn't realize the microphone was still in her hand when she said: "Your turn, Fluffybuns." The audience burst into laughter. Realizing what she had said, she started laughing too. After a few moments, the king held up his arms. The crowd grew silent. He leaned towards the microphone, expression... Stern. He said, "Dear citizens. Thank you for coming here today. I... King Fluffybuns..."" He broke off with a chortle, "And the rest is history." He finished. Dave laughed, and he heard Karkat snort.

"What about Asgore and Toriel?" He asked. The turtle's smile faltered.

"Oh yeah! Of course. Toriel was queen, and Asgore was the king. It was tragic when she left, since everyone knew she was really the brains behind the throne... But it was also just a teensy, teensy bit relieving, you know? Those two were really insufferable together... Nuzzling noses, bein' all cute n' cuddly in public... Embarrassing their children... They were so sweet it made me _sick_." He pulled a face, before he chuckled, "Thank god those days are over."

Dave smiled, remembering the trophy from Asgore's room. "And... Undyne?" He asked.

The shopkeeper's eyes grew foggy with nostalgia, a small smile on his face. "Undyne. She's really come a long way since she was a little urchin. I used to be a hero myself, back in the old days. Gerson, the Hammer of Justice. When she was younger, Undyne would follow me around, to watch me beat up bad guys... Sometimes she'd even try to help! Though, most of the time the folks she attacked weren't bad guys. It'd be the mailman or something like that. Anyhoo, I appreciated it! Wah ha ha ha!!!" He laughed.

Dave chuckled. "What are you going to do now?" He asked curiously. Gerson twisted his claws through his beard in thought.

"Well, I reckon I'll be headin' to the surface. Feel the sun on my old bones before I kick the bucket. Wah ha ha. Nah, I'll live a few more years, if only to spite Fluffybuns and his "doom and gloom" attitude."

"We'll see you up there, then." Dave agreed, pressing Exit.

"Be careful out there, kids." Gerson waved, turning to resume his packing.

They left the shop, and Dave turned to head for Napstablook's place. Karkat kept pace with him, the troll evidently lost in thought.

"Whatcha thinkin' about, bro?" Dave asked.

"A lot." Was Karkat's short, distracted answer. Dave just nodded; he wouldn't press until Karkat was ready. They reached the six-way fork, and Dave headed for the ghost's house.

To both Dave and Karkat's surprise, Napstablook and Mettaton were outside their respective houses when they arrived. Dave instantly made for Mettaton, who smirked, quirking an eyebrow at them as they approached.

"There you are, Dave-darling, and Karkat." He crooned, before he put his hands on his hips and raised his chin, "Feast your eyes! Dr. Alphys completed my wonderful new body. Ooh! And did you hear? The barrier's open!" He chuckled, placing a hand on his own cheek and sighing happily, "I can't wait to see the sun... the greatest spotlight of all!" He hummed, a satisfied whir in his throat, before he looked down at Dave again, dropping his hand, "Oh, yes. I suppose I should thank you, too, darling. Before fighting you, I had... forgotten how fun it was to preform with others. So I've been looking for hot talents to fill my upcoming troupe. So far, Shyren's agreed to be my backup singer. And Bl... Napstablook here, will be my sound mixer! The three of us preforming together... It really feels overdue, doesn't it?"

"That's awesome, Mets." Dave told him, rubbing the back of his neck, "If you ever need, like, a music guy, hit me up, too, okay?"

Mettaton chuckled. "Sure, darling."

Dave turned to go talk to Napstablook, before he paused and turned back, "Oh, yeah, and come find me on the surface. I want you to meet my brother, and his, uh, robotic self, too."

Mettaton's eyebrows lifted, a look of curiosity crossing his handsome features. "That sounds lovely, I shall." He assured him. Dave smiled and moved away to talk to Napstablook, but Karkat stayed where he was, looking up at Mettaton.

"... Could I ask a favor, too?" He asked at last. Mettaton turned to look at him.

"What is it, darling?"

"Give Burgerpants a shot, okay? He really wants to preform with you. Give him like, a one-liner in your next movie."

Mettaton's face fell. "I... suppose I could, but why?"

Karkat looked down, kicking the dirt with his heel, "Because I think it's time everyone got their happy endings." He said quietly. Mettaton squinted at him, tipping his head to the side thoughtfully.

"... Very well, Karkat-darling. You have my word as a star, I'll give that burger-flipper a chance." He promised. Karkat nodded, a small smile crossing his face. "But only if you help me with something." Mettaton added. When Karkat looked up, he pressed on, "What kind of merchandise do you think humans would want to buy? I've thought of a few ideas so far: Buttons with my face, stickers with my face, CDs with my face, posters, t-shirts, and underwear with my face... and plush dolls of Toriel. But, you know, with my face instead of hers. So what do you think?"

Karkat had the terrible mental image of Toriel with Mettaton's face, and shuddered.

"Fabulous! I completely agree!" Mettaton exclaimed, taking his revulsion as excitement.

Meanwhile, Dave has crossed over the Nastablook, who was staring over at Mettaton.

"How you doing, Napsters?" He asked.

"Oh... Mettaton... I'm a huge fan...." They murmured, before focusing on Dave, "Oh, human... I'll never forget when you cheered me on when I was pretending to sleep.... No one has ever had so much faith in my fake sleep..."

Dave chuckled. "Dude, I do it all the time to get out of doing the dishes and shit, I get it." He confided, glancing over his shoulder to make sure Karkat didn't hear that.

"Uh... also..." Napstablook continued, "This is awkward, but... what's your name? Everyone seems to know it now, except me... Seems like I've been missing out lately... I was just sitting at home, listening to tunes... there was a flash of light outside my window.... I saw the snails on the farm disappear... Then I heard a knock at the door... The flash of light wanted to come in... I closed the blinds... Now everyone knows your name except for me..."

"My name's Dave, and he's Karkat." He jerked a thumb towards the troll, who was walking over to them as he spoke.

"Dave... and Karkat... okay, I won't forget it." He promised.

"We won't forget you, either, Napsters. Hit me up when we're outside, okay? You and I should collab on something sometime." He suggested. Napstablook's eyes widened slightly.

"I would like that..." They murmured.

Dave nodded and turned to Karkat.

"Ready to head for Snowdin?" He asked.

"Yeah."

Taking the troll's hand, he lead the way back to the riverman, who hummed as they approached.

"Tra la la. Care for a ride?"

"To Snowdin, please."

"Then we're off." Once again, the boys got in the boat and off they sailed. As the air steadily got colder, the riverwoman spoke again. "Tra la la. Beware the man who speaks with hands."

"That's you, isn't it?" Dave asked, putting his elbow on the side of the boat and his chin on his hand.

"Tra la la." They pulled up to the Snowdin dock moments later. "Come again sometime, tra la la."

"Thanks." Dave got out, then offered his hand to Karkat and helped the troll step out. Keeping a hold on Karkat's hand, the two of them left the dock. Karkat's pace picked up a little, the troll's face lifting with an almost mild excitement. "You like this place a lot, don't you?" Dave asked him.

Karkat glanced at him. "... Yeah." He admitted, stopping next to the first house to look around. "It's... special." He said.

"Maybe we can come back and visit sometime." Dave suggested. Karkat nodded, pleased. As they passed the ice tower, Dave noticed the giant wolf was sitting on the ground, and the whirring of the machine had stopped. Curious, he changed direction and headed for the muscular canine. "Hey, man."

"Ice Wolf no longer has to throw ice. Ice Wolf can take a break to buy some pants now." The wolf grumbled. Dave resisted the urge to look down.

"Sounds like a solid plan." He said, turning on his heel and walking away again.

He and Karkat stepped into the town proper, and the gentle music that drifted through the town filled their ears. Dave took a deep breath, taking in the smell of baking things and wood smoke. He looked around, when he spotted something to his right. He tapped Karkat's shoulder and motioned towards the library, in front of which stood the Dogaressa, Dogamy, Greater Dog, Doggo... and Endogeny.

"Holy shit-" Karkat turned and hurried for the group of dogs. Dogamy looked up as they approached.

"Hmm, now that our parents are the same entity, does that mean I'm married to my sister?"

"Uh... ew, I guess?" Dave frowned. Dogamy huffed with laughter.

"Wait, we're dogs. That stuff's normal."

"No, it's not." Karkat muttered. They turned to Dogaressa.

"All our parents have been combined into one horrible being. That's okay, though. It's really "brought our families together." She woofed.

"Literally." Dave agreed, grinning, as they turned to doggo, who was lighting up another dog treat, "How about you?"

"Having an amorphous, shambling family member is great!" Doggo said enthusiastically, "They're always moving, so I can see them one hundred percent of the time!"

Turning to Greater Dog, the giant pup had nothing to say, but she did lean down and affectionately bonk her head against Dave's, making him laugh.

"Yeah, nice to see you, too." He told her, scratching under her chin. He turned to Karkat, about to suggest they stop in the library, but saw Karkat briskly walking away. "Yo, Karks, wait up!" He hurried after the troll, and saw who he was headed for; standing next to the christmas tree was the little dragon kid, who looked up as they approached.

"Yo! What's up?! I've been kinda doing some thinking... Maybe Undyne... isn't as cool as we thought. She's just kinda... mean. But YO! I just found out about someone waaay cooler!! Nyeh heh heh!" They grinned.

A small smile appeared on Karkat's face. "No, Undyne is still cool, dude," He assured them, "She's mean, but... I think she means well."

"Paps is absolutely cool, though." Dave spoke up. The monster kid beamed.

"Nyeh heh heh, dude!" They crowed.

"Nyeh heh heh, right back at you, bro." Karkat hummed. The kid shuffled their feet excitedly, before they went off running down the street, chanting Papyrus' laugh as they went.

The two boys watched them go.

"Wanna go see the snowman now?" Dave asked at last.

"Yeah." They turned away and headed towards the far end of the town, that lead out into the forest. As they passed the shop, however, Dave turned towards it.

"Hold up, man. I wanna stop in here to chat." He said. Karkat nodded and changed course. Dave opened the door for him, then ducked in behind him.

"Hello, travelers, how can I help you?" The purple furred bunny behind the counter asked. She was reading a newspaper, sat among her already packed up items. The headline of the paper declared:

**"The Barrier is Broken! Freedom is at Hand!"**

She looked up as they approached, putting the paper aside. When the option boxes came up, Dave pressed Talk. His topics came up as: What Happened, Human, Ruins, and Future.

"What happened around here?" He asked.

"I mean, it happened to you, right?" She shrugged, "There was a strange flash of white light, then I felt my body being pulled into...something. Then, suddenly, everything was back to normal." She explained.

"A flash of light?" Dave repeated, looking at Karkat. Karkat nodded, a look of understanding crossing his eyes, but he didn't answer. Dave looked back at the options. "What about humans?" He prompted.

"I heard that it was all 'cause a human came through here. A human... I can hardly believe it!" She chortled, "Well if they decide to stop in, I'll be sure to give them a hero's welcome." She winked at Dave, chuckling. He raised an eyebrow in response.

"What happened at the Ruins?" He asked. The bunny leaned forward, suddenly excited to share.

"The Ruins have been opened up, and get this... They were opened from the _inside_. Apparently the Queen had been staying inside there for God knows how long. Pretty unbelievable, huh!?" She shared, grinning.

"They're open?" Karkat repeated, glancing at Dave. Dave squeezed his hand gently in reassurance.

"That's incredible." He told the bunny, "What are you going to do now?"

"Well, I suppose I'll move my store to the overworld... haven't planned much more than that, I'm afraid." She mused, her whiskers twitching. He nodded.

"Hope to see you up there, then. Good luck." He told her, pressing Exit.

"Bye now! Come again sometime." She said, picking up her paper again.

The boys left the shop, and finally headed for the Snowdin Forest.

They crossed the Gauntlet of Deadly Terror, the creak of the wood below them not as scary anymore.

"Remember when we thought Papyrus was the biggest struggle we'd have to deal with?" Dave said fondly. Karkat laughed softly.

"Yeah." He looked around as they passed into the trees.

They wandered through the field where Dave had fought Greater Dog, slid through the ice bridge and walked back over the old puzzles. Past Greater Dog's hut, the tile puzzle, and more. Occasionally, they came across a monster or two headed the other direction. The monsters didn't stop to chat or Fight, though, too eager to head for the exit. They passed where Karkat fought Dogamy and Dogaressa, both boys silent the whole way, caught up in memories.

Dave finally spoke as they reached Papyrus' spaghetti trap, still waiting for someone to eat it.

"What did Paps' pasta taste like, anyway?" He asked as Karkat activated the Save.

"Like an artisan's work." Karkat answered, before he laughed. Dave blinked at him, not understanding why that was so funny, but he laughed anyway; he was just glad Karkat was laughing, too.

Back past more puzzles and games and memories, they finally reached the frozen pond that sat in the middle of the three-way fork. They turned to the right path, and found themselves back, finally, on the clifftop, where the snowman sat, waiting. Karkat opened his phone and one of the Dimensional Boxes, pulling out the Snowman Piece as they approached.

"Hey, we're back." Karkat said. The snowman's smile widened.

"Ah... I can feel that piece of me has been well taken care of." They murmured.

"You know... the barrier's opened up." Karkat told them.

"Hm... Then, if it's not too much to ask, could you take that piece of me to the surface? I would really appreciate it."

"I think that's doable." Dave agreed as Karkat put the Snowman Piece away again.

"Thank you very much." The snowman said simply. They said their goodbyes and left the area again.

"So... to the Ruins?" Dave suggested.

"Yeah."

They turned and carried on, past Doggo's hut, and to Papyrus' cardboard sentry station. There, they saw Snowdrake, Snowdrake's Father, and the amalgamate, Snowdrake's Mother.

"Hey, it's you guys again." Karkat said as they approached.

"Sn... ow... wy..." Snowdrake's Mother gurgled, nodding.

"Mom night have to share her mind with other people now, but she's still my mom." Snowdrake chipped in, "And that's "cool!" 'Cause, uh, we're made of ice and stuff." When Karkat rolled his eyes and snorted, they stamped their foot. "What?! It's a joke! Laugh at it!" He whined. Karkat forced out a laugh, but Snowdrake seemed content with that. Dave turned to Snowdrake's Father.

"The doctah. She brought my wife back from the dead." The elderly comedian squawked, "My son. He seems happy again. Our family. It's bigger than evah. Now that my wife is combined with sixteen othah people."

"You seem quite "chill" with that." Dave commented. Snowdrake and his mother trilled with laughter, while the Father grumbled.

"I suppose so. We are all going to the surface togethah, where I've decided to take my son under my... wing." He cleared his throat, "And teach him the family business."

Dave suddenly remembered the harsh words he'd spat at the old jokester. "Well... don't be too hard on him, okay?" He suggested. The old Snowdrake nodded.

"Good luck." Karkat said, before they turned and carried on.

Past the next fork, they came upon Sans' sentry station, the lamp, and the too-wide bars Papyrus had installed over the bridge.

"This is where we met Paps and Sans." Dave said unnecessarily.

"Yeah. Who knew how important they would become." Karkat said softly.

"They're good guys." Dave agreed.

Content and nostalgic, they walked through the thick trees. And after several minutes, they saw it.

The doors to the Ruins, propped open up ahead. Dave's steps faltered, as did Karkat's but they didn't stop.

They passed through the doorway, and found themselves where Flowey had confronted them the second time.

Past that, they entered the doors into Toriel's basement.

The content feeling in his chest vanished as Dave lead the way deeper and deeper, until they reached the staircase. They climbed the steps, and found themselves in the foyer of Toriel's house.

"This place must have been so lonely for her." Karkat said at last, "Her kids had died, her husband was a maniac, and she had no one. She left a life of royalty and came here." He looked around, his eyes somber, "It's so much cheerier here, but... I think that's just to cover it all up. At least Asgore let his bleakness show through." Dave looked down at him.

"... I don't think that's right." He said, looking around, too, "I think Asgore let it become bleak from lack of upkeep and care. It became grey and hard, like he did, while Toriel continued to try and make the best of her life here."

"Will we ever end up like that?" Karkat asked, looking down the long hall, "After we've grown bored of immortality? Will we end up bitter and lifeless, too?"

"No." Dave said confidently. Karkat looked up at him.

"How do you know?"

Dave smiled gently at him. "Because we were _getting_ bored already, and look what happened: you and I got whisked off on this ridiculous, emotional, insane adventure. Now there's a whole new _species_ to introduce to our world. We have to figure out where they can fit, and where they're all gonna go. I think that'll keep things interesting for the next decade or so. And when that gets tiring... You and I can go find another adventure."

Karkat sighed softly, a quiet purr stuttering in his chest. "A decade?" He repeated, nodding slowly, "Yeah, I think that's how long I'll need before another fucking adventure anyway."

Dave laughed softly, pulling Karkat closer and kissing his hair.

"So... you want to go back to the very beginning?" He suggested, "For old time's sake?"

"Sure. Why the fuck not." Karkat hummed.

Several hours later, the Dave and Karkat found themselves descending the split staircase, at the bottom of which stood the very first Save Point. Karkat activated it, and, just as it had done the first time, just as the Save Point at The End had done, a box appeared:

"**Determination**."

The two of them looked up at that word for a long moment, before Karkat sent the box away. They turned and headed through the arch.

They passed the spot where they first met Flowey, and Karkat stopped again, looking around for a minute more, before pressing on. Dave silently followed after, caught up in his own memories as they passed the second archway. Taking a left, they headed down the path, until they emerged into the very first room.

And there, knelt among the golden flowers that had softened their landing into the underground, illuminated by the crack in the chasm that they'd fallen through, was Asriel.

Karkat froze, his breath freezing in his chest. Dave looked at him, watching Karkat slowly approach the stranger.

"A- Asriel...?" Karkat whispered. It was Dave's turn to be shocked. _Oh_, he thought.

"Hey, Karkat." Asriel said softly as the troll knelt beside him. "Don't worry about me. Someone has to take care of these flowers... please just leave me alone. I can't come back."

"Why?"

"I don't want to break their hearts all over again. It's better if they never see me. ... Why are you still here?" The young goat looked up at him, "Are you trying to keep me company?"

"No, we... we just came to say goodbye." Karkat murmured.

Asriel nodded somberly, turning to look at the flowers again. His claws gently stroked the petals of one of them. "... Hey. Let me ask you a question. Karkat... Why did you come here? Everyone knows the legend, right...? "Travelers who climb Mt. Ebott are said to disappear." Why would you ever climb a mountain like that? Was it foolishness? Was it fate? Or was it... Because you...?"

"It was definitely foolishness." Karkat told him. Asriel sighed softly.

"I know why Chara climbed the mountain. It wasn't for a very happy reason... Karkat, I'll be honest with you. Chara _hated_ humanity. Why they did, they never talked about it. But they felt very strongly about that. Karkat... You really _are_ different from Chara. In fact, though you have similar, uh, fashion choices..." He glanced at Karkat's sweater, and the locket around his throat, "I don't know why I ever acted as if you were the same person. Maybe... The truth is... Chara wasn't really the greatest person. While, Karkat... You're the type of friend I wish I always had. So maybe I was kind of projecting a little bit." He admitted. Karkat smiled softly and placed a hand on Asriel's back. Asriel swallowed, slumping against the troll's shoulder.

"Let's be honest, I did some weird stuff as a flower." Asriel continued after a moment, "There's one last thing I feel like I should tell you. Karkat, when Chara and I combined our Souls together... The control over our body was actually split between us. They were the one that picked up their own empty body. And then, when we got to the village... They were the one that wanted to... to use our full power. I was the one that resisted. And then, because of me, we... Well, that's why I ended up a flower." He reached over and pet one of the flowers near Karkat's leg. "Karkat... This whole time, I've blamed myself for that decision. That's why I adopted that horrible view of the world: "Kill or be killed."" He swallowed again, taking a shaky breath.

"But now... After meeting you... Karkat, I don't regret that decision anymore. I did the right thing. If I killed those humans... We would have had to wage war against all of humanity. And in the end, everyone went free, right? I still feel kind of sad knowing how long it took... so maybe it wasn't a perfect decision. But you can't regret hard choices your whole life, right? Well, not that I have much of a life left. But that's besides the point."

Karkat nodded in understanding. Asriel smiled softly, reaching down and plucking one of the flowers. He held it up to the troll, who took it. Satisfied, Asriel looked down at the rest of the flowers.

"Karkat, thank you for listening to me. You should really go be with your friends now, okay? Oh, and, please... In the future, if you uh, see me... Don't think of it as me, okay? I just want you to remember me like this. Someone that was your friend for a little while. Oh, and Karkat... Be careful in the outside world, okay? Despite what everyone thinks, it's not as nice as it is here. There are a lot of Floweys out there. And not everything can be resolved by just being nice. Karkat... Don't kill, and don't be killed, alright? That's the best you can strive for."

Karkat hummed. "I promise, Asriel. I'll be careful. But the world... isn't like you remember it. It's... a lot different now." He murmured, "You'll always be my friend, and... I'm sorry. That this couldn't last. If we can find a way to bring you back, then..." His voice trailed off; could they even do that? Should he try to promise something impossible?

"Thanks, Karkat." Asriel murmured. He raised his head and looked over his shoulder, at Dave, before up at Karkat again, "You should... go do what you were gearing up to do, from before." He said meaningfully. Karkat looked back at Dave, too, and laughed softly.

"I think I will." He said. He rose to his feet and turned away.

"What did that mean?" Dave asked.

"Nothing. You'll see." Karkat told him, "Let's go home." Dave glanced at Asriel.

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah. There's nothing we can do for him." Karkat took his hand, clenching the golden flower in his other hand, and started to walk back towards the arch, forcing himself not to look back.

It was only when they were back out in the Snowdin Forest that Karkat finally spilled.

He told Dave everything that had happened in his battle against Asriel, and what had happened after, right until he woke up.

Dave listened intently, in silence.

Karkat's story lasted all the way into Snowdin Town itself. "... and then you told me to wake up." He finished as they turned down the road to the river.

"Damn." Was all Dave said, still processing everything. Karkat let his mind play catch up as they approached the riverman.

"Tra la la. Care for a ride?"

"To Hotland, please." Karkat nodded.

"Then we're off."

They climbed into the boat. Dave was silent the whole ride, staring at the water as he thought over everything Karkat had told him. His boyfriend had gone through so much... so much, and he wasn't there to help him. Would it have mattered, though? Surely Flowey- Asriel- would have kept him from the fight some other way. Like he had the first time.

"Tra la la." The riverwoman said, pulling him from his thoughts, "The angel has come and gone."

"He sure did." Karkat replied.

They pulled up to the Hotland dock, and they climbed out.

"Come again sometime, tra la la." the riverman said cheerily.

"Goodbye, dude. Thanks for the rides." Karkat told them, before the two boys walked away.

Back through the abundance of elevators, the MTT resort, the Core, and more elevators, they finally arrived back at the throne room.

Dave looked at Karkat, then, as they headed for the archway on the far side.

"You ready?"

"More than ready."

They passed through the door, to see their friends still waiting for them, chatting amicably with one another. Sans was the first to notice their arrival.

"Karkat, Dave, Tori was telling me about how she made b'scotch pie for you." He called as they approached.

"Oh, I should bake it for everyone sometime!" Toriel smiled.

"O- oh, that sounds really good." Dave heard Alphys murmur.

"Cooking? Can I help?" Papyrus asked hopefully.

"Wait a second! Can I help, too?!" Undyne demanded.

"Certainly! It would be fun to cook together!" Toriel assured them, before she turned to Karkat, "Hello, Karkat," She greeted him properly, "Alphys upgraded my phone while you were gone. I am having a lot of fun with the "texting" feature. Sans, check out this one." She addressed the squat skeleton, before tapping something into her phone. Sans pulled out his own device, which pinged seconds later. His eyes scanned whatever she'd sent, before he laughed.

"Oh, man, Tori... that's brutal." He snorted.

"I can't believe the queen has returned... and also, that she's a huge dork!" Papyrus huffed, "You two are two feet away from each other! Why are you texting?!"

"Worry not, Papyrus. We are texting for a good reason." Toriel soothed.

"Why is that?" Papyrus asked, looking curious now.

"Well. 'Cause we're huge dorks." Sans pointed out.

"Sans, please do not say that." Toriel chided, "You are not a dork. You are more of a bonehead." The fact that she managed to say that with a straight face made them all laugh.

"Wow, those puns are even less funny coming from her." Papyrus shook his head, trying to stop the grin that was growing on his face.

"Then why are you smiling?" Sans asked.

"It's a pity smile!" Papyrus huffed defensively. He looked around for support, before he spotted Asgore and lit up. "Oh, yes!" He moved closer to the king, "So, Asgore. How about making me a member of the Royal Guard?"

Asgore blinked, taken aback. "Well, Papyrus... now that the war is over, we might not _need_ the Royal Guard anymore." He said gently.

"What?!" Papyrus cried, horrified, "Then what was the point of the hum- of Karkat and Dave's quest?! They journeyed all that way, and I'm still not a member of the Royal Guard?!" He shook his skull, looking downcast, "Truly, this is the worst possible ending."

Karkat moved towards the skeleton. "That's not true." He said, "You might not have a Royal Guard anymore, but we still need guards on the surface. From wild animals and stuff." Papyrus looked up sharply, a look of hope flashing across his features.

"Really?"

"Yeah, our friend Equius is in charge of all that stuff, we can talk to him about it." Karkat suggested.

"Oh gee... thank you, Karkat, that's very exciting!" Papyrus grinned.

"Speaking of..." Dave cut in. He looked around at everyone, then at Karkat, "Are we ready to go? Home?"

Karkat glanced at all their friends, who were watching him expectantly. "Yeah. Let's go home." He walked over to Dave and took his hand, before turning to the others. "Come on, then. We've got a whole world to show you all." He turned and headed for the archway, with Dave in tow. And behind them, came the others.

They crossed the arch, to where the barrier used to be, but only saw a final doorway, through which the light of the sunrise was pouring through. An eager jump in his step, Karkat moved towards it, with Dave right beside him.

Together, they stepped out of the underground.

The smell of the wind- real, actual wind, not drafts blown through a cave- and the feel of the sunlight- genuine sunlight, not the glow of crystals reflecting it- drew them out further, until Dave, Karkat, and the six monsters emerged out on a clifftop, facing the rising sun. Colors bled across the sky, the last of the night being chased away. Far, far in the distance, Karkat could see their city; they'd crossed through the entire mountain, he realized. His heart was suddenly heavy and aching with longing. No doubt their friends and family were just waking up, getting ready to face another day. How long had they been gone?

"Oh my..." Toriel spoke behind them, and Karkat turned to see the monsters fan out, all of them looking towards the sunrise with reverent awe.

"Isn't it beautiful?" Asgore breathed.

"Wow... it's e- even better than on TV." Alphys nodded, "_Way_ better! Better than I ever imagined!"

"Karkat, Dave, you live with this?" Undyne asked in a hushed voice, "The sunlight is so nice... and the air is so fresh! I... really feel alive."

"Hey, Sans.... what's that giant ball?" Papyrus asked, looking down at his brother. Sans didn't look away from the sight before him.

"We call that "the sun", my friend." He answered.

"_That's_ the sun?! Wowie! I can't believe I'm finally meeting the sun!"

"I could stand here and watch this for hours." Asgore agreed.

"Yes, it is beautiful, is it not? But we should really think about what comes next." Toriel said softly.

"Oh, right. Everyone... this is the beginning of a bright new future. An era of peace between humans and monsters." He looked to Karkat and Dave, "Karkat... I have something to ask of you. Will you act as our ambassador to the humans? And... to your kind?"

Karkat could only nod.

"Yeah! Karkat will be the best ambassador! And I, the great Papyrus, will be the best mascot! In fact, I'll go make a good first impression!" The lanky skeleton cried, before he turned and began heading down the mountain.

"Oh, fuck, Papyrus-!" Karkat called after him, alarmed. Sans watched his brother go, before he snorted.

"Welp. I'll go get him. See you guys." He chuckled, before he turned and headed back, into the underground. The other monsters watched him go, bewildered.

"Wait, but how will he-?" Alphys frowned.

"He's got it, don't worry." Dave assured her.

"Man, do I have to do everything?" Undyne huffed, "Papyrus!! Wait!!" She turned and sped after the skeleton.

"Wh- Undyne, wait up!" Alphys cried, turning to hurry after the captain.

Asgore, Toriel, Dave, and Karkat stared after the three monsters, stunned.

"... Whoops." Asgore said at last, "... I'll go fetch them, I suppose." He turned and shambled away.

"... That went well." Karkat said sarcastically after a moment.

"Give 'em a break, babe, they're excited." Dave chuckled.

"I agree, it seems everyone is quite eager to set off." Toriel smiled, before she looked at them, "Karkat, Dave... you came from this world, right? So you must have a place to return to, do you not? What will you do now?" She asked.

"I'm going to go home, take a bath, and sleep for the next year." Karkat muttered. Dave rolled his eyes.

"No idea, Tori." he said honestly, stuffing his free hand in his pockets, "But we're gonna make sure you guys get introduced and integrated into our world properly. My sister is the head of our whole operation, if anyone can help you guys get accustomed to our world, she can." He told her.

Toriel smiled softly, nodding in understanding. She looked out at the sunset again, the wind brushing her fur back.

"Well, then... shall we go get started?"


	60. Chapter 60

Long ago, two races ruled over Earth C: Humans and Monsters.  
One day, war broke out between the two races.  
After a long battle, the humans were victorious.  
They sealed the monsters underground with a magic spell.  
The humans then faded into history.

Many years later, the world was changed.  
Two boys ended up underground with the Monsters.  
After trials and tribulations, the barrier was broken.  
The monsters went free, to join the world again.  
A single year later....

"So this... Twilight Sparkle. She is a princess?" Alphys frowned at the TV.

"Not yet. She's a student to the princess." Dirk corrected her, glancing up from his examination of Mettaton's casing.

Dirk, Alphys, Undyne, Mettaton, and Hal were all crammed together on Dave and Karkat's couch, watching Dirk's precious collection of My Little Pony DVDs. Undyne had Alphys in her lap, the soldier's head on the doctor's shoulder as she played a game on her phone; she didn't care for the show, except when Rainbow Dash was on screen. Dirk and Hal sat side by side on the remaining cushions, as Mettaton lounged across their laps, his head on Hal's thighs. The two robots had hit it off extraordinarily well, and everyone was positive they were dating; they were just waiting for the automatons to admit it.

"She'll become a princess in the later seasons, when she-"

"Spoilers." Hal interrupted warningly.

"Right. You'll see." Dirk corrected himself, returning to fiddling with Mettaton's case. The robotic popstar had finally given Dirk permission to see how his inner workings were set up, and the older Strider had been at it since that morning.

Since the monsters had joined them, Dave and Karkat's house had become the unofficial hang out spot for everyone in their friend group. At first, it had been at Rose and Kanaya's, but the women were busy enough setting up new regulations, laws, housing, and the like for their new residents. Ever since, Dave and Karkat were more than happy to offer their place as the chill space.

As the weeb team was watching ponies, John was sitting in the kitchen with Papyrus, the dining table covered in papers and pens as they poured over puzzle and trap designs together.

"I still say the cannon is unnecessary for this." John was saying, his buckteeth worrying at his lip as he frowned at the blueprint in front of him.

"Well, how else do we deliver the spaghetti?" Papyrus pouted, fiddling with his Can Town Guard Captain badge that was pinned on his shirt.

"Why does it need spaghetti, again?" John asked.

"Because!"

John snickered. "Okay, okay. What if we did a catapult instead? Less chance of replacing someone's organs with marinara and noodles."

"Nyeh heh heh! John-human, you truly are a genius prankster!" Papyrus beamed. John grinned.

"That's what they call me." He agreed, beginning to correct the blueprint. As they were speaking, Karkat came down the stairs. John glanced up as the troll walked by, heading for the fridge. "Are you heading out?" He asked.

"Yeah." Karkat opened the fridge and dug inside, pulling out a tubberware and sending it to his sylladex, before grabbing a bottle of apple juice and cracking it open.

"Where are you going, again?" John asked innocently. Karkat gave him a look.

"I told you before, it's private." He huffed shortly, before taking a swig of juice. John rolled his eyes, pushing his glasses up his nose.

"Yeah, yeah, I know. It's a super secret mission you've been planning for months and can't tell anyone because it's personal. Whatever. You'll crack one day."

"Unlike you, _Egg_-bert, I don't crack." Karkat snarked flippantly; he'd gotten much too comfortable with using puns in his vocabulary. It made him feel very smug when both John and Papyrus groaned. As the troll was considering what else to pack, he heard a voice call out.

"Yo, Karkles, wait up!" Dave, who'd arrived at the bottom of the stairs unnoticed, waved him over frantically.

"I'm not leaving yet, Dave, relax." Karkat assured him, walking over to the Strider.

"Good, 'cause I haven't gotten a goodbye kiss." Dave smirked, before he shook his head. "Before you go, I got something I wanna show you. Come on." Dave turned and headed back upstairs. Karkat followed, and he lead the troll to his bedroom and waved him inside.

Sitting on Dave's bed was Sans, the skeleton drumming his phalanges on his kneecaps. In Dave's desk chair was Rose, while Kanaya lounged on one of his beanbag chairs. Karkat blinked, surprised; he'd been preparing things in his room, and hadn't realized the other two had arrived.

"What's this all about?" He asked as Dave shut the door.

"Dave and I decoded that journal you two found. We thought the leaders of our groups should all be here to hear what it has to say." Sans said, his voice uncharacteristically quiet.

Karkat's heart jumped into his throat; Dave and Sans had been working on decoding the black journal all year, having mainly been set back by the overload of work it took to get the monsters situated in their city.

"Oh. Why aren't Toriel and Asgore here?"

"They're at work. And... we don't think they should hear this stuff yet." Sans explained.

"Take a seat, Karkles." Dave told him. Karkat glanced at him, before he took a seat next to Sans, setting his apple juice on the beside table. Dave took a deep breath as Sans held the journal out to him. He took it with a nod of thanks and opened it up. "Hold onto your butts, ladies and gents, this is... a lot." He began, clearing his throat before he began to read:

**"Entry One:  
It has been so long. How long? Long. Months. We sit by the barrier, hoping. But it will not come down. Some have chosen to leave. To find elsewhere to make camp. No use sitting by the barrier. Terrible, terrible thing, the barrier. The thing that seals us all under the mountain. The mountain where everything disappears. Will we all disappear? The barrier. It won't let us. Not because it cares. No. Because it is still listening. Still obeying. The barrier. The others don't know.  
The barrier is alive.**

**Entry Two:  
I have created something. In the newly named Hotlands. A Core, a way to give them all electricity and hope. It is not much, but it may help. The people hurt. I hurt. I want to go home. But this is home. I have made a lab. I will free us. No I won't. I can't. I need Souls. The Core can't help with that. But others can. They can help the Core.**

**Entry Three:  
I have continued to study the barrier as my Core is built. It does not hurt to touch it, but it does not like it. It knows things. It hides things. The king does not know. He studies it with me, but he does not see what I see. I see nothing. But he sees less. The barrier does not obey us. My Core is nearly complete.**

**Entry Four:  
**Ripped across time and space. All the times. All the spaces. I can see them all, hear them all. I fell, is what I did. Fell into my creation. Finally completed, and I broke it. I can only hope they fix it. I am not dead. I am not dust. I melted. But I am not dead. It hurts it hurts it hurts. Physical forms hurt. I can't hold them long, and I no longer look like myself. But I cannot stop my work for death. A new scientist will come. They can help, but I must do what I can from here. I am not dead.****

**Entry Five:  
The human. The first human to come down here in a long time. Chara, they call them. Asgore could have killed them. Used their Soul, and fixed this. Soft fool, gentle monarch. He pitied them. He loved them. Now the human is sick. Very sick. I saw them drink. Noble children, foolish pursuit.**

**Entry Six:  
The human is dead. Last night, they fell. Their brother, the prince, Asriel. He took their Soul himself, and crossed the barrier. He has yet to return. Will he be our savior? No. Yes? The angel. Long there has been talk of a savior. We thought it was Chara. Chara is not an angel. They are... wrong. The king makes them a martyr, but they are a demon.**

**Entry Seven:   
The prince returned this morning. He's dead. Fell before his father's throne and turned to dust. The flowers in the garden are white now.**

**Entry Eight:  
It's been so long. Years? Yes. The king is angry. The queen is weeping. A new scientist is in my lab. She is clever, she found my blueprints. Six more humans have come. The king is furious. He took their Souls, sealed them in jars. He wants all seven. He could do it with one. The barrier likes Souls. He only needs one to get the others. But he is afraid.  
The new scientist. She is doing many things. She likes the flowers. One of them speaks.**

**Entry Nine:  
**A ripple. It happened, just like when the barrier was built. When it sealed us off. It was angry, then. It is protective, now. Its masters are gone. I know. They're gone. Died? Or removed? It's been so long since we last felt the barrier breathe. Years. Many, many, many years.****

**Entry Ten:  
**Removed. The over world has changed. Something went wrong, and the world was added to another time and space. A place ruled by others. Others, not humans. Without the humans, we cannot escape. Without humans, are we doomed? Perhaps... perhaps not. The others. Not human, but human enough? Perhaps. Perhaps not.****

**Entry Eleven:  
**The barrier might allow it. There are humans, still. The original ones are gone. The barrier was not protecting us. It was protecting them. Removed them as the world was moved into the new space. But we are sealed below it. And the barrier only looks outward. So we stayed. But where are we? The underground. But not. The underground is adrift.****

**Entry Twelve:  
We landed. There was no ripple this time. The others don't know. But we're somewhere new. The same place. Our same planet. But a different space. No one else is here yet. Trapped, elsewhere. On a comet. A meteor? What difference does it make. They are in space. We are in their space. What happens when the spaces meet? Will the not-humans be enough? Perhaps we can make it enough.**

**Entry Thirteen:  
**I will call it a Glamour. That is what it is. A Glamour that will hide the newcomers. A trick. A small trick, a little magical twist, to fool the barrier. I am not a man of magic. I am a man of science. But it will have to do. We had six. We have six. We just need one more. But the chances of the newcomers, the new humans, coming down here? Small. There are more of the not-humans. They are our hope. A Glamour, to hide what they really are. The barrier can accept that. It just needs to be told.  
**** ** **Who better to place the Glamour than the prince? He's back. Not back, not better, but not dead. He died before the ripple. Long, long before. But he came back. He does not understand my words, but that's fine. He only needs to see the other, the not-humans, first. He only needs to identify them as the designated Souls. He has crossed the barrier, and the barrier knows. It has touched him, it is connected to him. If he sees them as human, then human they shall be.** **

**Entry Fourteen:  
**They finally arrived on our world. It took a long time. We've been in their space a long time. But they finally came to the over world. Now we just need one to come down here. I can watch them from below the barrier. "Dead" as I am, I still cannot leave. But I can watch. ****

**Entry Fifteen:  
**The prince pulled them down, designated the one as human. It's working. He brought someone else, someone I did not expect. But the Glamour covered them, too. They were truly human. I thought it would ruin things, but the prince did his job. The human is now a monster. Will they stay that way, or will the Glamour break when the barrier dies?** It would be easier if the human was the Human. But the Glamour is in effect now. Only I and two others can see through it. One is one of me. And the other was human long ago. Even if I could remove it, I wouldn't. I want to see if it works.  
The human and the not-human-now-human. **They're coming. A robe and a boat. I can help. They must kill it. Physical forms hurt. But I only need it for a while. Whenever they're at the boat.****

**Entry Sixteen:  
The barrier's breathing is labored. It knows its time is short. The prince is back. Really back, no longer a flora. He faces down with the not-human-human-god. The Glamour will break when the barrier does. I will break, too. I am not dead. But I am not living. I remain conscious by the barrier's will. When it is gone, I am gone. I leave it up to the other two.**

**Entry Seventeen:  
**Darker, darker, yet darker. The darkness keeps growing, the shadows cutting deeper. Photon readings negative. This next experiment seems very, very interesting... what do you two think?"****

Silence fell between them all as Dave finally fell silent, looking up from the book.

"Is that the end?" Rose asked. Dave nodded.

"Yeah. It cuts off there."

Karkat suddenly flopped backwards, staring up at the ceiling. The other four looked at him.

"Are you alright, Karkat?" Kanaya asked, concerned.

He didn't answer, reaching up to grab his own hair, his forearms covering his face as he processed everything he'd just heard. So many things were suddenly slotting into place, puzzle pieces fitting where they'd previously been missing, that it was a little overwhelming. At the same time, though, he felt like a weight lifted off his shoulders and he could suddenly breathe easier than he could before.

"I went. Through all of that bullshit. For an experiment?!" He gasped at last, releasing his hair and flinging his arms to the sides.

"Well, no. But you went through it _because_ of an experiment." Sans hummed. Karkat grumbled noncommittally.

"So this person- the riverman, or whoever they are- created something called a Glamour, that made everyone perceive Karkat as a human, out of fear that a real human wouldn't enter the underground once the underground was transported to Earth C. Then Dave fell down with Karkat, and instead of switching over to making Dave the human, it just marked him as another monster, and no one could tell because of the Glamour hiding it all. Once the barrier broke, the illusion broke, too. Is that right?" Rose summarized.

"Sounds about right." Dave agreed, "There were times we'd say stuff, and the others wouldn't... process it, or they'd ignore it."

"Maybe they simply couldn't hear it, because of the Glamour." Kanaya suggested. Dave nodded.

"That, too."

Karkat sighed heavily, sitting up. He grabbed his apple juice bottle and took a deep swallow, before wiping his mouth on his sleeve. The others watched him as he looked down at the floor, thoughts churning through his head like a disturbed sea.

"Okay." He said at last.

"Okay?" Dave repeated, "What's okay?"

"That." He waved his hand at the journal. "The Glamour. It's okay. I mean, I'm not... upset, I guess. Riverman was just just trying to help his people. We've all been there." He took another swig of juice, draining the last of it as the others nodded, "I mean." He added when he swallowed, "It fucking sucked. But it's over now. I don't think riverman meant to hurt anyone."

"You're being... very rational and calm about this." Dave noted, raising an eyebrow. Karkat shrugged, setting the bottle aside again.

"After the monumental bullshitting hell we went through, this is pretty mild." He smiled grimly.

"He has a point." Sans agreed. Karkat looked at him.

"Do you know who the riverman really was?" He asked.

Sans nodded, leaning his jawbone into his hand. "Yeah. His name was Gaster, he was the Royal Scientist before Alphys. As his book says, he was studying the barrier, and he made the Core. Not long after it was built, though, he fell into one of the magma chambers. Not a lot of people remember him, it was a long time ago."

"Then how do you remember him?" Dave asked. Sans just shrugged.

Karkat hesitated, wondering whether or not to push for answers. He finally turned to Dave. "When should we tell the others about this?" He gestured to the journal.

Dave frowned, thinking. "Not now. Paps, Doc, and Undyne are busy with ponies and pranks. And... some of this should be omitted from the version we tell Asgore and Toriel." He worked his jaw back and forth- a habit picked up from Sans- as he looked down at the book again, before turning back to his boyfriend. "You're wanting to leave today anyway, right? We could wait until you get back." He suggested.

"Wait, where are you going?" Kanaya interrupted, surprised. Karkat shifted his position on the bed.

"Back to the underground." He said vaguely. Kanaya raised an eyebrow.

"Why?"

"For... personal reasons." He muttered. He pushed off the bed and stood up. "I should get going, though."

"It's ten in the morning, dude." Rose rolled her eyes, "The nearest entrance is like, three hours away, you're not going to get caught in the dark."

"I know, but I've got a long way to go after that." Karkat huffed. He walked over to Dave, grabbing the Strider's sleeve and tugging him down into a kiss. Dave hummed, pleased, wrapping his arms around the troll.

"Be safe, okay? Say hi to everybody for me. I love you." Dave mumbled when he pulled away. Karkat nodded, diving in for a second, quicker kiss.

"I will. Love you, too." He murmured. He finally moved away and told the others goodbye, before he left the room.

He said quick goodbyes to the others in the living room, too, before he headed out the door.

As he walked through the residential streets of Can Town, Karkat couldn't help but think over through everything that had happened in the past year.

With the monsters now above ground, Can Town had grown extraordinarily fast. New buildings practically appeared over night with everyone pitching in to help give the monsters proper shelter. Monsters now had residences, businesses, and more, alongside the humans and trolls.

Of course, it hadn't started out that way. Karkat felt a smile grow on his face as he recalled his and Dave's return to Can Town, with the monsters in tow. That morning, once they'd rounded up the others, they'd headed for the center of town, where the town hall sat. It was only when they they entered the square that they were noticed. And the first to spot them, on his way up the steps of the hall, had been Gamzee.

"Karkat!!" The purpleblood had bellowed, his voice obscenely loud for eight in the morning. The clown had bowled Karkat over in his rush to hug his morail, blabbering messily all over him. "Where the hell have ya been, bro?! You up and vanished like, a month ago! Whole city's been on a hunt for ya, we thought you ran away or someshit, why didn't you say nothing?! We was just about ta send out another search party, I was-" It was at that point he'd noticed the monsters, and his tirade ended abruptly.

"Howdy." Asgore had said after a moment's pause. Gamzee stared at the goat monster for a full ten seconds, before his face split into a grin.

"Howdy, motherfucker!"

After that, Gamzee had lead them into the hall, loudly announcing Dave and Karkat's return. Every one of their friends were either already there, or in route. Gamzee had lead them right to a conference room, where they were gathered, and gleefully told them the good news. After the hubbub of hugs and "welcome back"s and "where the hell have you been?"s, and admittedly a good amount of tears from nearly everyone, Dave and Karkat finally managed to get everyone settled so they could explain themselves and introduce the monsters.

It took hours to tell the entire tale, and Karkat was the one who told most of it, as the humans and trolls listened with rapt attention. When he finally stopped talking, he'd been barraged with questions, which he answered as best he could. Finally, Rose stood up, smacking her hands on the table to get everyone's attention.

"I, for one, welcome the monsters to Can Town." She'd announced, before turning to Asgore, "We have no time to waste, then. I'm sure your people are desperately eager to get here. We should start planning their integration immediately."

"Agreed." Asgore nodded. Rose turned to Dave and Karkat next.

"As for you two. You two are on house arrest for a month." She added firmly, scowling.

"What for?!" Dave demanded, bewildered.

"For making us all worry! You're not to leave your house for the next thirty days, to make sure you learn your lesson about leaving unannounced! The only things you will be allowed to do are rest, eat, and recover! Otherwise, I'll-" She paused, wracking her brain quickly, "I'll call the guards on you!"

Dave's throat had convulsed as he'd tried not to laugh, realizing that his sister was just fucking with them. "We don't have a guard."

"We do now!" Rose turned to Undyne and Papyrus, "Would you two be willing to train a team to keep our city safe? We don't have much in the ways of crime, but we've got all kinds of undiscovered creatures outside the city limits. If we're going to have people crossing the mountains and forests, they'll need protection. Zahhak can help you get accustomed." She gestured to the blueblood. Undyne looked over at Equius thoughtfully.

"Absolutely!" Papyrus declared.

"I dunno... I was thinkin' about stepping down from being Captain. Is he strong enough to train monsters?" She asked. Equius smiled, leaning forward. He set his elbow on the table, offering her his hand.

"Would you like to find out?" He invited. Undyne's eye lit up and she grinned, reaching out to grab his hand.

"Hold your hoofbeasts, Equius. I do not want you breaking the table." Kanaya stopped them quickly. Equius and Undyne looked at each other.

"Very well." He stood up, "We'll take this outside." Undyne eagerly jumped to her feet and followed him.

"What about the monsters still underground?" Toriel asked, "We need to let them know it is _safe_ to come up, and get them here safely."

"I think that could be done easily enough. We can get started on a rudimentary road, and put together a PR team of both trolls and humans, so the monsters know what they're getting into before they arrive. We've got _plenty_ of undeveloped areas that could be turned into residences for the monsters." Rose reasoned. She looked around at the others, who were all nodding in thought. She took a deep breath, turning back to her brother and his boyfriend. "You two. Get out. The rest of you, we've got a lot of work to do."

From then on, with Rose and Asgore at the spearhead of the operation, things had changed rapidly. Monsters came to the city in droves, eager to see the surface and get started on new lives. Housing was plotted, businesses were born, and overall it went surprisingly rather smoothly, considering the momentous change. Not only did monsters come up, many, many humans and trolls went down, every group excited to see what the other had to offer. Some humans and trolls even ended up moving to the underground, taking over the now abandoned residences and work places.

Gold became a secondary currency alongside boonbucks, cultural exploits were swapped and shared, and accommodations were made as needed on both sides. The most amazing thing to Karkat, though, was their respective games. Both SGRUB and the underground had blended together seamlessly. The Item option became sylladexes above ground, while people's Souls emerged below. Magic from the underground bled through the city, and technology became a rampant fascination underneath Mount Ebott.

Overall, everything was... great, actually. There was still plenty of work left to go, though. By their estimates, it would take another two years to get everything at least settled in a solid place. The foundation was built, but it wasn't steady just yet.

And even though everyone was optimistic and eager to do their part, Karkat still had a bittersweet taste in his mouth about a few things. Things he couldn't talk about, because no one else had been there for them. He'd tried to explain it to Dave, but even as sympathetic and understanding his boyfriend had tried to be, Karkat had the sense he still didn't get it. Which was why he'd decided to set out on this "mission" in the first place.

Shaking his head, Karkat forced himself back to the present as he reached the edge of Can Town. He looked down the road that lead to the nearest entrance into the underground and bit his lip, steeling himself for the journey. Taking a deep breath, he thoughtlessly reached up and touched the golden locket that hung around his neck as he started forward.

Three hours later, he found himself on the cliff he and Dave had first lead the monsters onto. The mouth of the cave was open and inviting, with monsters, humans, and trolls hanging out around it on the picnic tables and benches that had been installed. The whole cliff had been turned into an outdoor rest stop, a nice place to rest after coming either way. The Nice Cream bunny was selling his treats near to the entrance, cheerily chatting with a pair of trolls. He waved at Karkat as the mutant passed, but Karkat didn't stop to chat.

He nodded in acknowledgement and kept going, ducking into the underground once again.

Sitting in the throne in the throne room was Asgore, the monster goat sharing a cup of tea with Gerson.

"Howdy, Karkat. This is a pleasant surprise." Asgore hummed when he spotted the troll, "Would you like a cup of tea?"

"No, thanks. I'm here on business." Karkat told him.

"Wah ha ha, what did Fluffybuns do this time?" Gerson snickered into his teacup.

"Nothing, it's business with someone else." Karkat assured the king, who suddenly looked pensive. He relaxed though, and nodded.

"I see. Well, you're always welcome to stop by later." Asgore smiled. Karkat thanked him again and kept going.

When he reached the Core, he couldn't help but stop at one of the magma chambers. He stood on the balcony overlooking the churning lava below, his mind wandering back to the riverman's journal.

"Did you really fall in, riv- Gaster?" He asked the humid air. "Was it just foolishness? Was it fate? Or was it... Because you...?" His words died in his throat as the the lava gave no answer. After a long moment, he turned away.

He headed into MTT Resort, where, as he crossed the lobby, he heard a familiar voice coming from the restaurant. Changing direction, he popped his head inside to see Roxy, Catty, and Bratty on stage, the three of them singing karaoke. The three girls looked like they were having the time of their lives, the crowd encouraging them with cheers and whoops. Smiling to himself, Karkat left them to it and carried on.

Outside, he headed for the elevators, and took the one down to Alphys' lab. He passed the crossroads, where the Save Point used to sit, and entered the lab to find Jade sitting at Alphys' old computer.

"Hey, Kitkat. What're you doing here?" She asked.

"I could ask you the same thing." He replied, pulling out his phone.

"Alphys asked me to download some of her old files and bring them up, although all I've found so far are pirated anime episodes." Jade explained, frowning at the screen as she gestured to the flashdrive plugged into the side of the computer, "But after that I'm heading back home to help Toriel with the garden."

"Speaking of Toriel, she made this for you." Karkat pulled out the tuberware from his Items and offered it to her. Jade took it, surprised, and popped the lid open. Inside was a sandwich and slice of pumpkin pie.

"Oh, great! I really didn't want to have ramen for lunch again." She waved a hand towards Alphys' fridge, "Since I'm down here all the time to look at Alphys' work, she said I could help myself to whatever. The amalgamates come keep me company sometimes; they seem pretty attached to this place."

"They were trapped under it for fucking years, it's not surprising." Karkat muttered, tucking his phone away, "So what, are you Alphys' fucking apprentice now?"

"I'm thinking about it!" Jade nodded, her doggy ears flickering, "Her lab on the surface is still a work in progress, but she doesn't want to ditch this one completely, either. We're thinking of turning it into a science museum or something."

"What about the lab downstairs?" Karkat frowned.

"We might just seal it off." Jade admitted, "Except for the power room, obviously. Or, maybe we could turn it into a hands-on learning area for kids." She shook her head, "I dunno, we're not there yet. But you didn't answer _my_ question: what are you doing here?"

"Nostalgia and business." Karkat told her, making her snort.

"Well, don't let me hold you up, then. Thanks for the lunch."

Saying their goodbyes, Karkat left her to her work and exited the lab. Reaching the crossroads, he paused for a moment, before changing course and heading down the steps. At the bottom, he found the riverman's boat, but no riverman. Tacked to the bow of the ship was a note:

**"Where do you want to go?"**

"Uh... Waterfall?" He told it. The boat didn't respond, but he climbed inside and sat down. As soon as he was seated, the boat lurched forward and began to move. Karkat looked around; being alone in the boat was eerie. All he could hear was the burble of the river. "... Tra la la." He murmured, just to break the silence. The boat creaked in response.

A minute later, it coasted up beside the Waterfall dock. He climbed out, thanking the boat before he headed to the right. After sloshing through the waterfalls, he crossed the glowing grass paths and ducked into Temmie village.

"Hoi!" He was greeted by one of the Temmies as he rounded the corner.

"Hey. Is Nepeta here?"

"Oh! Ya ya! Neppy, over d'ere!" She cried enthusiastically, pointing with her paw. Karkat looked over; sure enough, Nepeta was sitting near the giant statue of Tem, surrounded by a group of temmies as she spoke. Karkat quickly made his way towards her, and the oliveblood looked up as he approached.

"Hello, Karkitty!" She purred.

"Hey." He greeted her, pulling out his phone again, "What're you doing?"

"I'm trying to convince the Temmies to come to the purrface, but they don't want to leave their village." Nepeta explained.

"Why not?" Karkat glanced at the Temmies as he pulled a small baggie out of his Items. He handed it to Nepeta. She sniffed it, and her pupils swelled with delight. She tucked it into her jacket for safe keeping.

"Temmie village have deep history! Statue very famos!" One of them explained, gesturing to the statue with his paw.

"We could move the statue." Karkat pointed out, "We could take it to the surface so everyone could learn Tem's history." The Temmies looked at one another, surprised, before they whispered among themselves.

"Could... could Tem Shop also be moved?" Another asked tepidly. Karkat resisted the urge to roll his eyes.

"Yes."

"Ya! Ya ya! I, want go surface!" One of them declared excitedly.

"Ya!"

"Take statue to surface!"

"That sounds fun." Bob mused.

Nepeta giggled. "Thank mew, Karkitty. For them and the 'nip."

He shrugged. "No problem. Equius wanted me to tell you he misses you."

Nepeta rolled her eyes. "I have been gone fur a day, Equhiss and I can play when I go home." She huffed, before she giggled.

"If you say so." Karkat hummed, amused, "I've gotta keep going."

She nodded in understanding. "Okay. Bye, Karkitty."

"See you." He turned away, heading for the exit as he was followed by several "Boi!"s, "Boi-boi!"s, and a single "Goodbye."

Back at the boat, he asked it to take him to Snowdin next. The ride this time was rocker, as the boat grew legs and bound over the water's surface.

Once it pulled up to the dock, Karkat hopped out and headed into town. The tension in his shoulders unraveled as he took in the twinkling lights, music, and sweet smells of the town. Even the cold felt welcoming and familiar as his cheeks began to ache from the chill. He sighed, watching his breath fog in front of him as he entered the main road. There were a lot of trolls and humans in Snowdin now, and Karkat spotted Burgerpants and Gamzee outside of Grillby's, passing a blunt back and forth to one another. The restaurant was packed, from the look of it.

Grillby had opened a second place on the surface, but had eventually moved back to Snowdin. Sans told them it was because the fire-man preferred the cold, as it kept his flames from getting out of control. Regardless of the reasons, he'd turned the surface restaurant over to Muffet, who'd converted it into a bakery.

Karkat considered going to greet his morail, but decided to press on; Gamzee had come and stayed with him and Dave when they were under "house arrest", and had come over nearly every day afterwards. As much as Karkat loved his palemate, he didn't want comfort at the moment. Maybe on the way back they could get burgers together, he mused.

He trekked through Snowdin forest, which felt... a lot emptier now. It was kind of lonely, he thought; how fitting. Pulling a pair of headphones out of his Items, he plugged them into his phone and turned on his music, just to have some noise. Dave's voice came through the mini speakers, rapping over a sick bass line and techno music, composed by Napstablook.

When he reached the Ruins, he paused the music before ascending the stairs. Entering Toriel's old house, he heard laughter in the living room. He paused and peeked in, hoping not to be spotted. Eridan, Feferi, Aradia, Tavros, Jake, and Jane were sitting by the fireplace, playing a card game that had them laughing uproariously. Down the bedroom hall, Karkat heard more voices, but they didn't sound familiar; other humans, trolls, and monsters.

Toriel's house had become another popular hang out stop for people who wanted to explore the deepest reaches of the Ruins. So long as they cleaned up after themselves, Toriel was more than happy to have the doors open. While she was busy with work most days, on weekends she'd visit to check in, bring groceries- despite everyone insisting it wasn't necessary- and bake a pie or two.

Aradia and Jake were the first to come down to the Ruins, eager to explore and find artifacts. Eridan and Feferi both became taken with the underground for different reasons; Eridan came for the magic, and Feferi had all but moved into Waterfall. As far as Karkat knew, Mettaton had given her exclusive access to his old place. Tavros had eventually come down at his rustblooded morail's insistence, and made frequent visits since then. Jane had permanently moved in, taking over Toriel's old room; she loved the reasonably quiet place, and was probably the only one making sure everyone got decent meals when they visisted.

Seeing his friends having a good time made his chest warm with pride. They got to do all of that because of _him_. Everyone was so much happier, because of _him_.

Well. Almost everyone.

Turning away, Karkat headed out the front door and kept going. Back through the mazes and puzzles, he picked up a piece of Monster Candy on the way and sucked on it as he walked, the sweet, fruity flavor singing on his tongue.

He descended the twin staircases.

Determination, he thought as he passed where the first Save Point used to sit. He made his way through the final few rooms, which felt just as empty as the forest; no one had come this far in a long while.

Finally, he ducked through the marble arch and entered the first cavern. The golden flower patch was empty upon first glance. Karkat quietly padded over to the blooms and sat down among them, folding his legs in front of himself. He took a deep breath of their scent and looked around.

"... Asriel? Are you here?" He called softly. After a minute's pause, another flower suddenly blossomed in front of him.

"What are you doing here?" Flowey growled. Karkat smiled softly, relieved.

"Hey. I wanted to see you again."

"Why? You won, isn't that enough?" The flower looked away.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because _you_ haven't won yet."

Flowey looked up sharply. "What?"

"Everyone else got their happy ending, Asriel. It's only fair you get one, too."

"I... I am happy." Flowey muttered, quickly looking away again.

"Uh-huh. And I have a tail." Karkat rolled his eyes, before he sighed, "I want you to come to the surface with me."

"No. It's better if I stay here. Alone." Flowey grumbled.

"No, it's not. That's what hurt you in the first place." Karkat said patiently. Flowey trembled for a moment.

"... But everyone else will end up hurt if I leave." He murmured.

"No, they won't. You hurt everyone before because you didn't feel anything. But I think it's different now, isn't it?"

Flowey didn't answer him. Karkat waited a moment, before he pulled out his phone. "Want to see what everyone's been up to since you set them free?" When the flower looked up, Karkat opened his photos and began going through them, showing each image to him.

"This is Muffet's new bakery. My friends Terezi and Vriska work with her. Neither of them can bake, but it's mostly to keep them busy."

"This is Toriel's new school. She's both the principle and the English teacher. My friend Sollux set up all their computers and stuff, and teaches the kids about coding. Undyne works as the gym teacher, since she stepped down from being a guard."

"This is Onion-San's first time in the ocean. He absolutely loves it, although he keeps beaching himself to talk to people."

"This is our new library and museum that Gerson founded. They're both still mostly empty. But this is the theater, where Mettaton does his performances with his group. My friend John does stand-up there, too."

"And this one-"

"Please, stop." Flowey murmured, and Karkat froze. The flower stared at the image on the phone, which was of Toriel and Jade, toiling in the school's garden together. After a tense moment, he looked up at Karkat. "... You really think I could have a happy ending like them?"

"I do. We don't have to tell them who you are. You can live in my backyard for all I care. But you're my friend, Asriel. If I could do all this," He gestured around vaguely, "for the rest of my friends, then I think I can do it for you, too. I'm a Knight, which probably doesn't mean anything to you, but to me it means everything. Knights save people. I Saved you once, and I can do it again." He said gently. The plant continued to look hesitant.

"Even if they never see me, how can I forgive myself for what I did?" He asked.

"That's not something I can answer. But sitting in the dark and letting your grief fester certainly isn't the way to go. What you did... I forgave it. I think the others will, too. And not all of it was your doing." He told Flowey all about the black journal and the Glamour, as the flower listened quietly.

"That's who that was?" He asked at last, mildly surprised. He shook his head slowly. "Even so... what I did... I- I tried to destroy the world, Karkat."

The troll nodded, sitting back on his hands. "I remember. But I've done that, too. You know how many timelines I fucked up? A lot. A whole fucking lot. I grew up, I learned, and I did better. You can do that, too, you know."

Flowey was quiet, looking around at the patch of golden flowers for a long minute. Karkat simply waited.

"... Are you sure?" He asked at last.

"I'm sure."

"... Then," Asriel took a deep breath, "Then I'll do it."

"You'll come to the surface?"

Asriel nodded. "Yes. I'll go, but I don't want to see anyone yet. I want to do it on my terms. I'm just... not ready to face everyone yet."

"I get that. It's a deal."

Asriel nodded again. "I'll see you up there, then. See you, Karkat."

"See you, your majesty."

Asriel laughed quietly as he withered into the ground and disappeared.

Karkat sat in the flowers a little longer, looking up at the crack in the cavern ceiling far above, before his phone chimed. Glancing at it, he saw a text from Dave:

**"hey karkles. you ready to come home?"**

Karkat took a deep breath and let it out. Picking up his phone, he got to his feet.

They still had a long, long way to go. He knew that. There was still a lot to do; for the city, for the underground, for themselves... and especially for Asriel. Karkat didn't know how that was going to end, but, like everyone else, he was going to try his hardest to be optimistic about it. He'd started the adventure, and although it felt like an end, there was one thing he knew for certain: Epilogues don't ever end. Life goes on. He and Dave and everyone else would end up in another adventure at some point. While that thought scared him, he also looked forward to it.

If there was one thing Karkat could say about himself, it's that he was very determined.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there we are. The End. They lived happily ever after. I started this story on September 3rd, 2019. It took me nearly a year, there was setback after setback, but I did it. This story is the most ambitious work I've ever done. 60 chapters!!! I know this one took so long, but that's because I went back to all 59 other chapters and cleaned them up, just to make sure this story was as smooth and polished as I could get it. Then I took my time on this one to be sure it came out right.  
I'm sad it's over, to be honest. I poured so much effort into this story, and I'll miss everyone's wonderful comments and encouragements. But I hope this story means as much to you all as much as it means to me. I hope you all enjoyed it. Thank you for reading. -Conan.


End file.
